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Jewish Journal

Cat Mobsters: Murder in the Valley

by Ilana Angel

March 24, 2013 | 8:25 pm

I love my home.  I feel happy and safe here.  I have created a comfortable space and proudly raise my son here.  It is comfortable, casual, and inviting. I like to think it has good energy.  I live here with my son and two cats. Fiddles is my son’s cat, and Gopher is Fiddle’s cat.  Fiddles is the best cat in the world, and Gopher is an asshole.  We are one big happy family.

Today my home was rocked by murder.  I cannot wrap my head around what happened and the carnage is heartbreaking.  Important to note that every single window in my home has a screen on it.  I have a patio off my living room that is also screened in.  I am not a fan of bugs and have done all I can to ensure that none fly in so all my windows and doors are on lockdown. Nothing gets in withuot my knowing.

I was horrified to come home to a murder scene.  In my bedroom, at the foot of my bed, was a dead bird.  I screamed and jumped on the bed, only to notice the bird’s head on the side of my bed.  There were feathers everywhere and I started crying and screaming as I realized I was home alone.  I said a prayer for the bird and left my room closing the door.

I was on the couch shaking when the murderers approached. Fiddles came out looking sweet, while Gopher came in looking like an asshole with guilt in his eyes.  They were both asking for food as Fiddles rubbed her head on my leg.  I was disgusted by them both and stayed on the couch waiting for my son to get home so we could start the murder investigation.

It took my son 15 minutes to clear the carnage.  When he was done I used a sage stick to smudge my entire house.  I could not look at Fiddles or Gopher because I was mortified by the killing.  They both looked guilty, and both had the audacity to be annoyed with me that I did not appreciate the gift they left for me in my room.  These killer cats are crazy.

I don’t understand how a bird got in and I feel so sad it died such a violent death.   I am now living with killers and need to check my room, and bed, for presents they might leave me.  I am spooked and not a happy girl that a murder went down in my home.  I feel like I’m living with cat mobsters and need to sleep with one eye open while I’m keeping the faith.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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