May 10, 2012 | 9:23 am

Birds + Joaquin Phoenix = Weird Dreams

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Joaquin Phoenix

I rarely dream.  I suppose it’s possible I do and just don’t remember them, but either way, dreams are not really my thing.  Could be because I’m not a great sleeper. All I know for sure is that when I actually remember a dream it freaks me out.  I am certain it means something and is a message of some kind.  Over the past two nights my dreams have been very vivid.

I tried to research what the dreams meant online but I got conflicting stories.  Turns out reading about dreams and ailments online is bad.  I am sharing because maybe one of my readers interprets dreams.  If you have any idea what mine mean, please let me know.  By let me know of course I mean unless it’s a sign of something bad, in which case I don’t want to know.

On Tuesday night I dreamt that my foot hurt.  It does in fact hurt, so that was not the strange part.  There was a golf ball sized mass in my left foot.  I was sitting on my couch and I was rubbing my foot when a beak popped out of the skin and a red bird came out.  It had a little face that was very expressive and looked at me with scared but mocking eyes. It was crazy.

I was not bleeding, and I think the foot actually closed up as soon as the bird came out, but I was chasing around the bird trying to kill it.  That makes no sense because I am a vegetarian, and an animal lover, and I would never kill a bird, but there I was, chasing it around trying to kill it.  It was not screaming like a bird would, but rather laughing like a cartoon.

I woke up as I was trying to catch it and kill it so I’m not sure if I ever managed to get it, but it was weird. Writing about it now I am not sure if it was a scary dream of not.  I’m not scared thinking about it, and don’t think I was scared by it, but again I don’t remember the emotions of the dream, just the little bird and the fact that he came out of my foot.

Last night I dreamt about Joaquin Phoenix.  Important to note that I love with him so on a lot of levels it makes perfect sense I would dream about him, but this was strange.  I could swear we were actually together, that’s how real it felt.  He was gorgeous, and lovely, and if I saw him on the street I would approach him as if he were an old friend because of this dream.

In the dream we met in a hallway.  He was playing a guitar and singing.  I watched him, unaware of who it was.  He looked up and I realized it was Joaquin.  I told him it was hard to look at him and not see Johnny Cash.  He said he understood, and we started to talk.  He was very soft spoken and his eyes looked at me as if he was seeing me from the inside out.

I asked if I could take a picture with him, but when I pulled out my phone, it would not work.  I was frustrated and he said he would wait.  He stood there while I tried to get the camera to work, but it never did.  He then turned to walk away, the doors to the hallway opened, and there was a red carpet with paparazzi waiting to take his picture.  He went off and that was it.

I woke up then so I’m not sure what would have happened had I kept sleeping, but I’m guessing it would have included some making out, an engagement ring, a beautiful wedding, and happily ever after.  Could it be that my dream is a premonition about meeting Mr. Phoenix and our falling in love?  That’s the interpretation we are going to hold onto today.

I believe that dreams have meaning, unless it’s a meaning that freaks me out, in which case I think they mean nothing.  For example, if dreaming of a bird coming out of your foot means you are going to win the lottery, then I’m in. If it means a bird will crap on your head and you will die alone with 18 cats, then I’m not buying it.  I am curious however, about these two dreams.

They really did feel real, which is fascinating.  My son dreams on occasion but can rarely remember them.  My Englishman dreams often and remembers them all. Interestingly enough he watched Gladiator last night and when we chatted this morning he mentioned Joaquin Phoenix, which was just weird. We were not together yesterday yet we both had him in our thoughts.

I will spend moments of my day thinking a bird may crap on my head, and will look at people around me should Joaquin happen to be walking past.  This is LA after all so it would not be an impossible happening.  If you are reading and know what my dreams mean, please let me know.  I am open to the interpretations, but also scared, and therefore keeping the faith.

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