August 5, 2010 | 10:28 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I actually stuck it out and managed to watch the entire season of Bethenny Getting Married. I wavered a lot, and could not quite commit to a side on the show, or on Bethenny. There were episodes when I thought she was horrific, and others where there were glimpses of the Bethenny we all fell in love with. I was given glimmers of hope that were enough to keep watching.
Tonight was the finale, and they teased us with a visit from Ramona. Her visit lasted a minute, and it set the tone for the entire hour. Bethenny had an opportunity to have a mini reunion of sorts, and pay homage to the show that gave her the life she now has. Instead, the visit was all about Bethenny, and I found myself willing her to shut up so Ramona could talk.
Ramona walked in and Bethenny needed to explain why Ramona was there. Something about having a daughter and things in common. Maybe she was just there because she has been your friend, and you don’t need to explain it. Maybe we like seeing Ramona because it gives us a break from you? The baby cries, and Bethenny immediately passes Bryn off to the baby nurse.
Ramona talking about sex after her baby is hilarious. Her two minutes with Bethenny was enough to get me excited about another season with the ladies of NYC. Bethenny tells Ramona that being a mom is harder than having a job? Really? It is a job Bethenny. You’d know that if you spent more than five minutes with your baby without passing it off to the baby nurse.
Bethenny decides we need to hear her talking about sex with the baby nurse. Bethenny is crude. She used to be ballsy which was endearing and funny, but now she is just a gutter fish and there is nothing attractive about it. This is the point in my blog where people are getting annoyed and starting to write me hate mail. Bring it on ladies.
The wedding planner is back for the baby shower. There is a picture of Bryn on the cake, but also one of Bethenny and the baby. The poor baby can’t even have the day be about her, it needs to be about Bethenny. I honestly don’t get this chick. She has not once mentioned how scared she was that her baby came 6 weeks early, but bitches about how it interrupted her work.
Bethenny informs us that she is probably the first mother to have a baby shower with the baby already born. Shut up Bethenny. Millions of women have done it this way, because they are superstitious about celebrating for their child before he or she arrives, so they wait until after the birth. It’s actually common practice with a lot of my Jewish girlfriends. Moron.
For someone who is breastfeeding, Bethenny sure does drink a lot. Who are all the women at her shower? They probably all work on her show. She is asked about breastfeeding, and instead decides that she should talk about having sex, in front of her mother-in-law. She says Carol probably thinks of her as a guilty pleasure, but maybe she just thinks she’s a pig.
Bethenny is fake crying about having to leave the baby for a business trip. She is not crying because she is leaving her child, she is crying because she is excited to go to work. I did not buy her crocodile tears. She did what she knew would be compelling, except that we all know she is a conniving celebrity whore, so it did not work.
Bethenny gets back and pretends to be excited to see the baby. She talks about how she is going to throw away her book and stop working because she cares more about being a mom. Really? It’s not believable. She’s back in therapy saying that she created her own happiness. No you didn’t. Jason showed you how to be happy. Bryn showed you how to be happy. You were miserable before them, so give them the credit.
Bethenny is shopping with Max and she is obnoxious and ridiculous. Max is useless. She makes sure that everyone in the store knows she is going to the Hamptons. Then she complains about her busy life and her TV appearances. She is getting ready to go to the Hamptons and talks about working out and maybe surfing. She can’t have sex, but surfing is going to be cool.
They are going on their first family road trip. By family of course they mean two assistants, the baby nurse, and the baby. Bethenny decides that being trapped in the car for two hours will be the perfect opportunity to be mean to her husband. She can rip him apart, and blame him for everything. Good times. Bethenny is not funny, which is a shame because she used to be.
Bethenny is pumping her breast milk, and decides it’s yet another great chance to talk about sex with the baby nurse. Crude, inappropriate, and not a show I would ever want my kid to see if I was her. She bashes her husband’s football skills, jokes about getting a divorce, and again manages to make the show something she will be mortified to show Bryn.
Bethenny decides to burn the book she has been working on forever. By burning it, of course she means she is going to throw fake paper in the fire to somehow ensure that she gets another season. “Bethenny Writes Her Book” will no doubt be on Bravo in the spring. I miss the Bethenny we met years ago. This new Bethenny is gross.
They are all out to dinner, having another discussion about sex, and drinking more booze. She thanks Gina, tells Max he did good, gives kudos to Julie, tells Jason she is the luckiest girl in the world to be with him, and then tells Bryn she is the best thing to ever happen to her. Good script writers on this show.
She ends the show saying she has created her own family, and the future will be whatever she makes it. Translation: her future will include another season. I can safely say I will not be watching that new season. Will other people see through her façade and stop watching her on television? Time will tell, but I would advise Ms. Frankel to keep the faith.
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