July 23, 2010 | 7:44 am

Bethenny Frankel Talks Trash & Has A Baby

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Bethenny & Bryn Hoppy

Just before watching the latest installment of Bethenny Getting Married, I read an interview Bethenny did with E! where she says she did not understand why Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson would do a reality show.  She said she didn’t know who they were, and just didn’t get the appeal.

Really?  Have you forgotten we didn’t know who you were when you started on reality television? There was no reason for us to care about you and watch your show. You are slamming Bristol and Levi for shopping a reality show, but you are the reality television whoring queen.

Bethenny Frankel started out on the Housewives as fabulous.  She was funny, smart, quick witted and entertaining.  She was not a housewife, but she was comic relief, and as an example of someone who wanted to be a housewife, but had not yet been lucky at love.

What she has become is crass, rude, obnoxious, ego driven, hot mess.  That she has the balls to call out a couple of kids for selling their souls to the devil to make money for themselves and their kid, when she continually sells everything, is totally hypocritical.

Bethenny has decided she is a celebrity.  She separated herself from being a reality tv personality, and labeled herself a star.  She had potential to be a person we cared about, and instead she is a train wreck.

Her show this week starts with her at a class learning about how to take care of a baby.  She tries so hard to be funny, that sometimes it just falls flat.  She does not take any of it seriously and is focused on being funny, which would be entertaining if she were in fact being funny.

Her “friend” Lauren comes over with her new baby and it’s hilarious.  This chick has a baby nurse who she actually has burping her baby during the visit.  Bethenny blasts the ladies at the child class for being Stepford, but she is having a baby nurse so she can sleep.  Bethenny is gross.

Bethenny is setting up the baby’s room with the help of her assistants and it’s sad.  The only people who are around her on a regular basis are those she pays to be there.  She appears to have a lonely life with no authentic relationships.  Everything is faked for television on this show.

She is giving dating advice to her assistant Max, and one wonders why he would take advice from a woman who has a horrible track record with love, has been married for five minutes, and got married because she was knocked up.  Maybe she’s not the best person to listen to.

Bethenny’s water breaks, and she decides it’s the perfect time to be a bitch, rude to her husband, and attempt to suck the joy out of the moment for Jason.  Bethenny tells Jason to call Julie, and then a minute later Julie walks in ready to go.  This show is beyond fake.

I think it’s sad that an assistant is called to help at a time like this and not a friend.  Bethenny has no friends.  What she has is people who are paid to be with her, and that is sad.  I have tried so hard to get on board with Bethenny because I want so much to like her, but it’s not happening.

Her show now feels cheap.  That her going into labor is so carefully orchestrated to look like it’s spontaneous is pathetic.  We can buy into her reality and go along with the ride, but when you assume we are stupid, it’s over.  Bethenny is the queen of unauthentic reality television.

In the car on the way to the hospital, Bethenny is in full bitch mode.  She does not want Jason’s parents to stay at their house because she wants her baby nurse.  She doesn’t want his parents to tell anyone she’s in labor, because they will alert the media to come to the hospital.

Who the hell are you Bethenny Frankel?  How is it possible that when you left for the hospital, Julie was at the apartment to take care of Cookie, did not travel with you, yet you got to the hospital after she did?  Seriously the fakeness of this show is out of control.

If you are in labor, at the hospital with your husband, do you want to be talking about sex with your assistant?  It would be funny if it weren’t so awkward, orchestrated and ridiculous.  Max is out buying her granny panties and the show jumps in the realm of Jerry Springer.

To properly explain how gross this show has become, they are showing them with the title “home video”, yet a Bravo crew member is shooting the “home video”.  Jason started out as the normal one that didn’t want a reality TV life, yet he is now just like her, whoring out every second.

They are talking about her labor but not with a doctor, a crew member.  Sad.  Max and Julie are setting up the basinet, but they are wearing different clothes, and it’s clearly shot on a different day and edited to look that it’s happening while they are at the hospital.  We’re not stupid Bravo.

The baby nurse is at the house giving all the information to Julie, and again Julie is in another outfit with different hair.  The whole thing is fake.  They had all this crap done, yet it is edited for us to think it’s all happening in a panic.  Julie did not change her hair and outfit 4 times in one day.

We now watch what seems like 20 minutes worth of 20 hours of labor.  How great for Bravo that they gave Bethenny a show so we could see the first woman in the world go thorough labor and have a baby.  She gets her epidural and does her standard 20 minutes of stand up.

Bryn Hoppy is born, five weeks early, very tiny, but perfect and beautiful.  She will be a very loved little girl, and I wish her health and happiness always.  Maybe she is the gift that will relax her mother enough to enjoy her life so she can be truly happy, and deflate her ego a little bit.

There is undoubtedly a ton of hate mail being written to me right now.  People will attack me for attacking their beloved Bethenny.  It’s all good so bring it on.  I welcome your hate filled letters, and as for them being posted on my blog?  That might not happen so just keep the faith.