March 22, 2011 | 3:39 pm

Bethenny Frankel is Jewish?  Right.  Nice Baptism

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Bryn and Bethenny

Bethenny Ever After was on last night and once again I watched.  I cannot stop watching.  Every week I think she will never back to her old fabulous self and every week she becomes more repulsive and offensive.  She is in love with her own voice, is convinced she is funny, and it’s addictive.

We start this week listening to Bethenny belittle and make fun of her baby nurse.  The woman who she claims to love so much, is called a wolf, made fun of for what she keeps in the fridge, and is then made to feel bad for spending time in the bathroom.  I think Bethenny is a pig.  Seriously.

She truly thinks that she is funny.  Not so much.  She has no idea what is appropriate and what it just horrible.  Do we really need to know how long it takes Gina to use the bathroom?  Does this conversation, mixed in with what’s in the fridge, really need to be a part of this show? 

She has a baby-proofing expert come tell her how to prepare her house for a mobile baby.  Her stupidity is hilarious.  She can’t figure out what is safe and what is not for her baby?  I think she is an idiot and by idiot of course I mean a fame whore who is desperate to fill a weekly hour of TV.

Sidebar:  Why is it that Bethenny cannot mention a margarita without having it be a Skinny Girl margarita?  We get it.  You like a drink that was created years before you found it, you put your name on it, and now take credit for inventing it.  Got it.  It’s still just a margarita though.  Thanks.

Bethenny decides to clear out her lingerie.  She goes on and on about how she is not a hoarder, does not like clutter, is looking to simplify her life, and she is doing that by throwing away a bra and panties?  Again, a pathetic attempt to film a show that is truly become a show about nothing.

Bethenny and Jason take Bryn to baby nurse Gina’s church.  She is going to get a blessing of some kind.  A little unusual, but sweet.  The church goers are all dressed up lovely, and are so excited to share their church with Bethenny, and she is cracking lingerie jokes to the camera.

It turns out that the “blessing” is really a baptism and all hell is about to let loose.  It’s all quite sad really.  Jason is uncomfortable, Bethenny is scared, and she takes Byrn from the clergyman, and leaves.  Jason and Bethenny talking about it after was very touching and upsetting.

They love this little girl and it’s a wonderful thing.  Jason feels he let them down by not understanding what was happening.  It’s was fascinating to hear that Bethenny is the first women to have a maternal instinct.  Bless her.  She invented maternal instincts AND the margarita!

All the stress of the almost baptism with Gina, inspires Bethenny to tell Jason that they can have a real baptism for Bryn in the Catholic church with his family.  Jason is appreciative that she is willing to do it and so the planning begins.  It will be small and special, and everyone is excited.

They decide they need to talk to Gina about what happened, embarrassing her on camera.  Keeping it private and having the conversation off camera would have been silly. Wasn’t it Bethenny who dumped Jill because she felt Jill couldn’t do anything off camera?  Right.  Good call.

Bethenny is in therapy bashing her mother and I’m just not buying it.  She was wild and I don’t believe her view of her childhood.  There are lies being created by Bethenny that she has been telling for so long, she now believes.  I feel sorry for her mother, but karma’s a bitch.

We are now in the church where the christening will take place.  The priest is adorable, and may be 200 years old.  She tells the priest her father was Jewish and her mother converted to Judaism, but she is nothing.  Really?  It’s called being Jewish.  That’s how Judaism works.

Bethenny asks Julie, the assistant, to be Godmother to Bryn.  Julie’s reaction is lovely and it’s wonderful because she loves the baby, but come on. Bethenny has not one friend to ask? She has known this girl a year.  She truly has no friends other than the ones she pays for.

Sidebar:  It’s Halloween.  They drive to the suburbs from NYC in the ridiculous convertible Skinny Girl car, with the top down, and the baby in the backseat, and you know it’s cold.  Bethenny is wearing hooker boots to schlep around the neighborhood trick or treating.  She’s a freak show.

Who drives around a baby in a convertible with the top down in winter?  She is a baby.  Any warmth I was feeling about her maternal instinct is now gone because she put driving around in her insane car above keeping her baby warm and safe.  Bethenny is truly a train wreck.

Bryn is now Catholic.  Mazel Tov.  Jason and his family are lovely and I think it’s nice they were so happy.  I personally think it’s important to raise a child with faith and so blessings to Bryn.  Embrace God and live your best life.  As for your mother, just say a prayer, and keep the faith.