November 11, 2009 | 2:07 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I have not posted a blog since last Sunday and I must say that I have really missed it. Take a brutally busy week with work and my son and throw in a few bad dates and I just needed to step away from it all for a minute or two.
My blog is about being over 40 and starting on the road to love again and I get a lot of comments about the limitations that I place on myself by dating only men who are Jewish and I’m not sure why I’m even writing this because whenever I talk about my faith and desire to marry within it I get hate mail.
I don’t plan on having any more children and by plan of course I mean my fingers are crossed but I have a teenage son and before I know it he will be getting married and I want him to continue our faith and have Jewish children so it would be hypocritical for me to marry outside our faith.
Let’s talk about my dating this week and please note that I know that there are flakey, rude, unfocused and lying men in all faiths but for some naïve reason I feel I will get a better quality of man if I’m with a Jew but in the end a man is a man regardless of faith and even though these men are all Jewish I imagine it would be the same even if they weren’t.
Pinocchio, who told me he was divorced when really he was separated and said he was sober for 20 years when really he smokes pot called to tell me that his divorce was final and he wanted to go out to celebrate and by celebrate I’m sure he meant smoke a joint. When I told him that I was happy for him but did not think our going out to celebrate was a good idea he told me I was a liar because I said I would not date him unless he was divorced and implied that he somehow got the papers in order so that we could go out.
I explained that it was not just the divorce that was stopping our going out so he assured me that you can be sober and smoke pot. Now I’m not sober nor do I have any issues with addiction but I have seen every episode of Intervention and am certain that if you smoke pot you are no longer sober. He then wished me a good life and hung up on me.
I then got a call from the Israeli. I could not contain my surprise and he could sense it and asked me if everything was okay so I told him I was surprised to hear from him since we’ve had 1 date and 4 conversations in 3 months and his response was “I move slow. What’s the rush?”
Is that not classic he’s just not that into you? I think one date in 3 months is beyond moving slow. He asked me out for Saturday night and while I think he is lovely I’m just not feeling it because If there was something there he would have called and now I worry I’m over-thinking it.
I got 4 emails this week on JDate from men in their 20’s and I don’t get that at all and it’s never going to happen but bless them for writing. I got 2 emails from men over 60 and again lovely to be contacted but it’s never going to happen because I just cannot see myself with someone much younger or older.
I forced myself to spend time on JDate and found a man that I thought was super attractive and had a great profile with lots in common with me and I wrote him and what was weird is that he looked at my profile everyday for 4 days, sometimes up to 6 times, but never responded so I guess at the end of the day there is no rhyme or reason to dating because it’s a game that has a ton of rules yet no guidelines and you never know if you are playing right or fair and just when you think you’ve got the hang of it the rules change and you are disqualified.
I’m getting back on the horse this week and by horse of course I mean the JDate hell train because with risk comes reward and I am a firm believer that if I put in the effort I will be rewarded with love. It may just be a greater love of myself but love is love and it’s all about keeping the faith.
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