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Arrivederci Jersey Shore

by Ilana Angel

March 25, 2011 | 9:45 am

Thursday night was the season finale of Jersey Shore.  You would think the last show would be a blast, but in the end it was a little disappointing because we spent an hour watching Ronnie and Sammi break up, again, for good, again.  I love this show but come on.  MTV owed loyal fans a brilliant farewell not more fighting from the Dysfunctionals.

We start the night with Mike causing trouble and Sammi drowning in her lies.  Mike is talking to Ronnie while Sammi talks to the guy she made out with.  If you can get past how pathetic it is, it’s all rather entertaining.  At what point will Ronnie realize he is dealing with a girl who is unstable?  I’ve decided more blame can be placed on Sammi.

It is a horrible relationship and watching it has become boring.  How many times can they break up and get back together?  The crying, yelling, lying, rollercoaster is tired and stupid.  If they got a dollar for every time they gave each other one more chance they could end world hunger.  When will they call it a day?  Enough already.

They are done working for the summer and Danny, the guy who owns the Shore Store and their house, is throwing a BBQ.  They have all invited friends and family to the party.  It’s a wild night of drinking and dancing and one thing becomes clear: Snooki may be the funniest girl on the planet.  The things this chick says are brilliant.

At the party Vinny is hitting on Deena’s friend, Deena gets pissed off, everyone is drunk, and I’m spending more time trying to figure out what words they are bleeping out over paying attention to what is actually going on.  Sammi pulls Ronnie aside and asks if they are together or not.  Dear Lord, this chick is insane.

Ronnie tells her to get lost, Vinny tells Deena she is just like Angelina, she gets annoyed, and the fighting continues.  It’s a show about fighting with Snooki thrown in for our entertainment.  Mike tells Sammi he is sorry for being rude to her.  He does not mean it, but I love that he does it and is a grown up.  By grown up of course I mean this guy is too old for this show.

Of course he was the one who started it all so the apology is hilarious, but still, good on you Mike.  They go out to dinner for the last night at the shore and Snooki says it’s time to let loose and sin.  Do something fun like have sex with an old man, steal a plant, and get arrested.  She needs her own talk show.

Roger asks Jenni to be his girlfriend and she says yes.  Jenni has been through the ringer with Tommy so it’s nice to see her happy and in love. She seems like a nice girl and has mellowed the most since the first season, in a totally good way.  This is a great girl and I am happy for her.  Roger is a good egg and they are cute together.

Sidebar:  Have you sever seen as anything as ridiculous as how these people dance?  Watching Ronnie dance is fascinating but I don’t get it.  I wonder if he is hurting himself.  Can he do those moves when he is not hammered?  The fist pumping was funny but this is more of a convulsion than a dance.

Snooki brings home a guy to have sex with and is being rude and obnoxious, but it’s funny and cute.  She calls him Princess Diana, which cracked me up.  I want to have dinner with Snooki.  I could listen to her speaking about her view on things forever.  I would need a translator who speaks Jersey, but it would be a great night.

Back at the house after the club, Ronnie and Sammi are at it again. She is asking why he hates her, he asks her how she could play him, she is telling him he hates her, he is telling her she is useless, and once again they are breaking up.  I’m over it, one of them needs to go and I’m voting for Sammi. 

Ronnie is crying, saying he’s done and Sammi is saying he can never look at her again.  Vinny is hammered and Deena takes care of him and at the end of the day you se they are all decent kids who are having fun.  If you take it as entertainment, not a lesson on how young people should behave, it’s brilliant.

Cut to morning and Sammi is telling Ronnie she is sorry, she loves him, he is her best friend, and she wants them to be together.  If I were Sammi’s mother I would drag her ass home and lock her in her room.  By lock her in her room of course I mean put her in therapy.  Ronnie’s heart is broken and he’s done.

Sammi is still asking him if they are together.  Is she learning impaired?  He tells her he is done and she is still asking it it’s over.  She is embarrassing herself and needs to get some help.  The thought of this show continuing with both if them is gross and one of them needs to go.  Sammi.

They are packing up and heading out.  Summer is over but the goodbyes are lame because they know they are going to see each other again and won’t need to wait until next summer.  It’s not goodbye as much as see you later.  Arrivederci! See you in Italy, safe travels and keep the faith.

 

 

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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Ilana Angel writes two blogs for JewishJournal.com. KEEPING THE FAITH is about her worldview as a single Jewish mother, and KEEPING IT REAL is all about reality television....

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