July 6, 2011 | 11:49 pm

A Teenage Boy, a Laughing Mom, Sex, Condoms & a Twitching Eye

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Is my eye twitching?

I have a great kid.  He is perfection and I seriously love him.  He was a fabulous baby, divine toddler, fantastic tween, and is a wonderful teenager. We are very close and when it comes to sex, he comes to me to talk about it. When he was younger and had questions, I suggested he talk to his dad as I thought he might be more comfortable.  He said he would rather talk to me, and so began our open dialogue about sex.

I am raising this young man to respect women, respect himself, and not be afraid of sex.  He appreciates how important it is, and I am teaching him to also respect the emotions that come with it.  His questions have been insightful and I’ve learned a lot about who he is as a human being by what he wants to talk about.  There are certainly cringe worthy moments, for me not him, but we are navigating through it all.

My son is a really funny guy.  He has a spontaneous, witty, charming, and fearless sense of humor.  If you asked him what one of his favorite things to do is, he will tell you it’s to make me laugh.  Ever since he was little, when I would laugh, he would say it was his favorite sound.  He makes me laugh all the time, which is a gift for both of us.  I get to laugh, and he gets his favorite sound.  He is a great kid.

His new favorite thing is to ask me to get him condoms.  He thinks the twitch I get in my eye at the thought of my little baby needing to buy condoms, is hysterical.  He is not having sex, but the thought of that ever happening is too much for my heart and mind to handle, and the result in talking about it, is that my eye twitches which makes him laugh, which in turn makes me laugh, which is hilarious.

People have often stared at us while we walk down the aisles of the drug store with my twitching eye, and him laughing.  We are very entertaining, even if it’s only to each other.  I remember every single moment of my life since he was born and I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. Jumping from that to condoms is simply too much for me to bear.  Thank goodness I look cute with a twitch.

Today marks one week that my son has been on the east coast for summer vacation.  He is with his best friend and his grandmother, having a fabulous time.  He knows I miss him and am using all my energy to not call him every second of every day.  He texts on occasion, we talk on the phone, and iChat, but it’s been hard for me.  I miss him very much and I am counting the days until he is home.  By days of course I mean seconds.

I called my boy today to see how he was and discuss his school schedule, which arrived in the mail.  We chatted about his day, he asked about his cats, I asked him how he was doing with money, he told me he was doing good because when he bought condoms they were on sale.  He waited three seconds and then asked me if my eye was twitching.  It was and we both started laughing.  Good to know the twitch works long distance!

I know my baby is growing up.  I know he is just kidding about the condoms. I know one day he will not be kidding about the condoms.  I am grateful to have a child who is able to be open with me so we can both learn, grow, and not be afraid to share.  I know I will make it though this important time in his life if I remember to laugh, embrace the glory that is a gin gimlet, rock the twitch, and always keep the faith.