February 14, 2013 | 8:41 am

A New Kind of Valentine’s Day

Posted by Ilana Angel

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I know Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday that really means nothing and is overrated, but I also know that I love it and it matters to me. I am a romantic and I love everything about love.  This Valentine’s Day marks my first with my Englishman.  Important to note that the Englishman does not think Valentine’s Day is a big deal.  This should be interesting.

When I was a kid I remember we would get cards at school and it was exciting.  My son went to a Jewish Day School so he never celebrated Valentine’s Day at school, but I always gave him a card, some candy, and a small gift.  He is my Valentine but last night told me he is not that into Valentine’s Day.  And so it begins.  Is he over it because he is a man?

I know a lot of women who don’t like Valentine’s Day, and to be honest, most of them are single.  Even when I was single I loved Valentine’s Day.  I would always do something special for me and my son to celebrate love.  I would buy him those candy necklaces and he would eat it throughout his dinner and thought it was so cool to have candy with dinner. It was our thing.

I told the Englishman that we did not need to exchange gifts.  I then told him we could max out gifts at a certain price.  I then told him we could make gifts.  I then suggested we just do cards.  I was trying to take the pressure off of our first Valentine’s Day because the truth is I feel loved by him everyday.  In the end he just thought I was bossy and said to stop.

He thought I was bossy before my suggestions, so no worries there.  It got me to thinking about Valentine’s Day and presents.  There is pressure of course, but why?  Does the gesture of a gift not matter more than the actual gift?  Does it matter if you get a piece of jewelry or a crock pot? Do flowers express love more than a new vacuum cleaner?

I was alone for a long time before my Englishman and to be honest with you, having him is the real gift.  I love him.  He is my everything and I remember what Valentine’s Day is like without a romantic love, and it was lonely.  I am not ashamed to say that I would long for the Valentine’s Day when I would be in love and now that it is here, the gift does not matter.

I get cards in the mail for no reason, chocolates at the end of a long day, and surprise flowers all the time, so Valentine’s Day is not about those things anymore.  Instead of a day where I long for love, it is now a day where I am grateful for the love I have found.  I feel lucky and blessed to have this man in my life and today is a day to marvel at my good fortune.

I still love this day and just because it is a new kind of Valentine’s Day for me, it still matters and I will buy cards and gifts because I love it.  Even if I get a spatula or toilet plunger from the Englishman, I will be happy. First off, it is a gift from the man who loves me, and second, it will make for a brilliant blog.  There is no losing in the situation.  It is all good.

My overall view of love has changed in knowing the Englishman.  Things that I valued as important in a relationship have all been chipped away to discover that at the core, love is very simple and does not need to be complicated or difficult.  I am a different mother, friend, and woman because of this man and that is a gift you cannot buy, but are blessed to receive.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone.  I wish you health, happiness, and love. If you are in love, embrace your partner and remember what it was like without them.  If you are alone but searching for love, believe in love and it will come.  If you are alone and not looking for love, enjoy the peace that comes with loving yourself.  Love is grand and I am keeping the faith.

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