It is Friday and I have never looked so forward to a weekend in my life. My son will be home from vacation on Monday and so this weekend will undoubtedly be painfully long. I am so excited for him to come home I could bust. It has been 4 weeks and I want him back.
I was thinking about being a mother today, which made me think about my own mother. I love her very much. I am loyal to her, and protective of her. I wonder what it must be like for her to have all her children grown and living away. Does she miss me like I miss my son.
My mother is a remarkable woman. She moved to Canada with two young children, speaking no English, had another two kids, raised us all as a stay home mom, and when we got older, went to culinary school and became a chef. She is a fighter, with a kind and gentle heart.
I pray my son will love me when he is an adult the way I love my mother. Truth be told, if I love, trust and support him as my mother did me, my hope will not require prayer. I am raising my boy to be a good man. A man who respects me not only as his mother, but as a woman.
Last night I spoke with my son and we talked about his coming home and what we would do when he got back. He said he would like to just relax and not do much. I asked if the next day he wanted me to arrange something with his friends since he had not seen them, and he said no.
He wants to spend the day with me. When he said we could see a movie, or just chill at home, and spend time talking, I burst into tears. I have been so careful to not cry and be a crazy mom with his being away, but when he said he wanted to hang out with me, it put me over the edge.
I love hanging out with my son and his wanting to be with me made me happy, and at the same time I was sad for my mom. It does not matter how old me and my siblings get, we are still her babies. She is my friend certainly, but she is also my Mommy and she misses me the same way.
I am desperate see to my son but also feel a need to be with my mom. The plan is for her to come be here for the Jewish high holidays and once my son gets home on Monday, I will start counting down the days until my Mom comes to visit. I cannot wait to see her and hold her close.
I asked my mom this morning what it like for her now that her kids are all grown and she told me that she misses us everyday and wishes we could all live together in a big house. At first it made me laugh as she was kind of serious. Then it made me cry because she really was serious.
I never take the time to think about my mother in the same way I think about myself. She feels for me all the things I feel for my son. I am not only a mother who loves her child, but a child who loves her mother, and a child that is loved by her mother. It’s all rather profound really.
When I had my son, my mother went from being my mom to being his grandmother. It was an interesting transition for me. I viewed her differently, respected her more, and loved her for all the sacrifices she made. I was blessed to grow up in a loving home with caring parents.
I have passed on a lot of the teaching of my parents onto my child. My parents did a good job and as my son transitions into adulthood I find myself loving my parents more. I miss my father everyday and wish he were here to see my con grow.
My whole life revolves around my child and my heart is invested in his happiness. I forget sometimes that his grandmother feels the same way about me. I love her not only because she is my mother, but because she taught me to be mother.
My baby will be home on Monday and as much as I cannot wait, when my mother comes in September, and I am able to hug her, while he hugs me, it will be a perfect day. Love you kids, love your mother, and keep the faith.
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