December 7, 2010 | 11:05 pm

Elizabeth Edwards , A Lady Full of Grace

Posted by Ilana Angel

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My prayers and deepest sympathy go out today to the family and friends of Elizabeth Edwards.  She was full of grace during her battle with cancer, and I admire and respect her with all that I am as a woman, and as a mother.  She inspired me to be an honest and open writer, to have no fear in the words I choose, and that no matter what I face in my life, my greatest joy and everlasting legacy will be that of a mother.

Her children lost her too soon, but what a blessing for them to have been able to say goodbye, and have no doubt or questions about how much she loved them.  Rest in peace Elizabeth.  We shall embrace and love your children, and keep them in our prayers.  I know you are with your beloved son Wade, watching over your children, and carrying them with you always.  You were a lady, a hero and a master, at keeping the faith.

Elizabeth’s family has requested that in lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the Wade Edwards Foundation at www.wade.org.

Full of Grace
By Sarah McLachlan

The winter here’s cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love
So it’s better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly skin
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength
And all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love

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December 7, 2010 | 8:21 am

Vomit? Fighting? Bleeding?  Must be time for Skating With The Stars!

Posted by Ilana Angel

Even before the single most horrible hour of television made it to air, things started to fall apart.  Disney “star” Brandon Smith was rushed to the hospital after vomiting during rehearsal.  They say it’s due to food poisoning, but we know the truth.  Being on this show is making him sick to his stomach.

The poor kid probably thought this show would be good for his career and catapult him to stardom, but instead we still don’t know his name and just think he’s an idiot for agreeing to be a part of something so stupid.  Poor thing.  It would make anyone hurl nonstop for hours.

Just as we stopped laughing as his unfortunate situation, we got another news flash that one of the “professional” skaters was cut by the blade of her “celebrity” partner, and was rushed to the hospital.  We were never told her name because nobody knew it, or cared to find out what it was.

So much excitement before the show even started.  The show opened up with the grating sound of the host’s voice.  He is truly horrible.  His accent sounds fake, he has no comic timing, he wishes he was Tom Bergeron, and I imagine we’ll soon see him on Animal Planet hosting Celebrity Dog Walkers.

Up first, “actress” Rebecca Budig.  Impossible for her to be more annoying.  She is rushed to the hospital, only to find out she needs to ice her wrist.  Don’t worry though, she is going to “fight through it!”  Dear Lord, could I hate this show more?

She is a great skater and if we had not been so distracted by her costume, which was a saggy diaper, it would have almost been enjoyable.  The best thing about this show is Johnny Weir and he is wasted here so really, the only reason to watch is to talk about how horrible it is.

Bethenny is next.  She tells her partner the only way for them to get the proper chemistry for their skate about love, is to sleep together.  It was hilarious.  This is a funny girl but she is always “on” and I still don’t understand how she is having the longest 15 minutes of fame ever.

She is rude to the judges and is milking the “I only care what America thinks” card.  It’s Bethenny against Johnny Weir and I’m on team Johnny.  She’s being a bit of a sore loser and coming across as bitchy, which makes sense because she is a bitch and a sore loser.  Just ask Jill Zarin.

Vince Neil is up and I can’t focus on what he is saying or doing because all I want to do is wash his hair.  You need a haircut Vince.  He is a nice looking guy, but the hair makes him look like he parked his shopping cart outside the studio and under his costume he is wetting himself.

Jonny Mosley skated over the finger of his partner.  That’s got to hurt and seems like a big deal, but they brush over it like it’s nothing, which is a little weird.  What I learned during this performance is the skating is better if you fast forward.  It’s over quickly and just looks better.

We listen to Brandon’s partner as they show footage of him hurling.  We find out that he looked like he was “going to die”.  They are judged on a taped rehearsal piece because he is too close to death to perform.  Then his partner fake cries and says she wishes it were her.

This show is so incredibly fake it is mind blowing.  Do the people who make this show not get it is crap?  Does anyone else wish it were Laurieanne who was vomiting herself off?  Who are these people, and why is nobody telling them that they do not belong on television?

Johnny Weir tells Brandon’s partner he should have been at the show and even though the doctor told him he should not skate, he should have come.  Seriously, Weir is the best part of this show.  By the best part of course I mean the only good part.  I want to slap the fake cry out of this girl.

We made it through another week of Skating With The Stars.  The good news is you can get through the entire 90 minutes in about 12.  I’m going to sharpen my own skates and have them standing by.  I will either get on the ice, or impale myself.  Either way, I’m keeping the faith.

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December 5, 2010 | 6:33 pm

Does A Wedding Dress + A Broken Heart – Bitterness = Stupidity?

Posted by Ilana Angel

Yesterday I decided to clean out my front hall closet.  As a professional organizer, I spend my days keeping other people’s things in order.  My home is extremely organized.  I know where everything is and I like that.  This particular closet however, had become a bit of dumping ground.

When I got home last night I went to hang my coat in the closet and was overwhelmed by all the stuff in there, so I decided it was time to tackle it.  I pulled everything out so I could put back only what belonged there.  It was quick and I was on a roll until I came upon a garment bag.

In the bag was a wedding dress.  A dress I loved so much, but never wore.  Four and a half years ago I was engaged to be married.  He was a wonderful man and I loved him very much.  He was Jewish, funny, smart, secure, caring, supportive, and the man I thought I would grow old with.

A couple of months before our wedding, we broke up.  It was sudden, unexpected, and broke my heart.  I would fall asleep to the sound of my heart breaking and wake up to the same wrenching sound in my mind.  It took me forever to recover and to be honest, I’m not sure I ever completely did.

I pulled out the dress, placed it in my room, and finished the closet.  When my mother went to sleep, I went into my room and put on the dress.  It is so beautiful.  I walked around my room in the dress forever.  The only good thing was that I discovered the dress was now too big.

I’ve pulled out the dress before.  I retrieve it periodically and have even worn it for the finale of The Bachelor in the past.  It’s a beautiful dress but when I go and get it, it means one thing.  When I am feeling vulnerable, and come across it by accident, it’s a whole different ball game.

I was up all night thinking about the dress, the man I was to marry, and how my life has changed since we broke up.  I loved him.  I was my true and complete self with him.  I didn’t change who I was around him, but rather embraced all the parts of me and made them better.

I cried.  I spent a lot of last night crying.  The loss of that relationship was really crushing and I don’t think I ever took the time to properly heal from it.  My son was young and I was so wrapped up in taking care of him, and making him understand what was happening, that I forgot about me.

I have not spoken to the man I was to marry since then.  I don’t know how he is.  I wonder if he married someone else, if he is happy, if he ever thinks of me, or if his heart was broken.  It’s not anything I need to know really, but I wish I did know.  I want to know if he is okay.

I want him to know that I loved him.  As much as one human being can love another one, I loved him.  His happiness mattered to me and when he asked me to marry him, he fixed all the things that were broken and made me better.  I know it sounds silly but it’s true.  It’s my truth.

I am going to send him this blog, and I hope he reads it.  To this special man, I love you.  Always have.  I hope you are happy, healthy and safe.  I hope your life is blessed and full, and you are in love with someone.  You are a remarkable man and I wish for you all that I wish for myself.

The break up did not make me bitter.  It made me sad, but I was so busy keeping busy and taking care of my son, that I never had time to be bitter.  Bitterness is the new black so it’s not like I was avoiding bitterness, I just never experienced it with this particular loss.  I was too sad.

A couple of years later, I fell in love again.  We dated for about a year and I really loved him too, but it was different.  More than being in love with him, I simply loved him.  He felt like my soul mate, but not in a marry him way, more like a have my back until the day I die way.

He was my partner, my other half, the voice of reason, my cheerleader, and made every day a little better.  After about a year, we realized we were forcing a romantic relationship when really our love was bigger than that.  We ended our romance and settled into being best friends.

After a few months he met a girl and they started dating.  She is horrible, but that‘s a whole other story.  I supported their relationship because he was my friend.  His girlfriend however, could not handle our friendship.  She felt we were too close, and it bothered her that we were so tight.

We would finish each other’s sentences and knew exactly what the other one was thinking.  We were like an old Jewish couple that had been married for years, or a more appropriate analogy is we were army buddies who had been through a war together and were forever connected.

The girl could not handle it, and eventually told him that he needed to choose between being in a relationship with her and having a friendship with me.  After some fights and a few tears, he went off to live happily ever after while I was left unable to understand what happened.

That experience began my relationship with bitterness.  I was so bitter towards him for giving up on a friendship that had meant so much.  He held the Torah at my son’s Bar Mitzvah, yet could not find a way to maintain a friendship with me, or my child.  It left me very bitter.

It was as if I did not know him at all.  The time we had spent together was a lie because the man I loved, the friend I cherished, decided that our friendship was not worth anything.  It was crushing.  Not in the same way it had been with my fiancé, but still just as emotionally powerful.

So my broken heart was replaced with a bitter heart, which leads us to my stupid heart.  It’s been over a year since I spoke with my friend.  I have no idea if he is still dating the girl.  No clue if he is happy, or if he ever thinks about me, my son, or the friendship we once shared.

I am left unable to trust myself.  Was I wrong in wanting to marry a man who so callously broke my heart?  Was I wrong in choosing a man who so easily broke my heart?  Is it them, or me?  Am I a master at choosing the wrong men?  Could my broken and bitter heart now just be stupid?

My relationships with those to men led me to my current situation.  I have met a lovely man who has been following my blog and wrote to invite me out for dinner.  He is smart, funny, handsome, charming and Jewish.  He is successful, caring, supportive and kind.  He is a mensch.

We have been out a few times but I can’t bring myself to pursue it as a relationship.  I don’t trust myself, and am finding reasons to not move forward.  They are reasons that make sense and are valid, but they beg the question: are they real concerns or is my stupid heart making stuff up?

I know what I want to find in a man.  I know the kind of relationship I want, and I know I am smart enough to know the difference between attainable and fantasy.  The problem is I don’t trust myself. Am I blowing a new relationship because I am smart or because my heart is stupid?

This new man has also been married three times, is just out of a relationship, raising a young child, and supporting 3 women.  I have been divorced for 14 years, have a battered, and apparently stupid heart, and I think I might be looking for something less complicated.

That inspires another question: is finding something less complicated even possible when I am 44 and date men older than me?  We all have a history and a life that was full before we met.  Dating is hard.  Dating with a stupid heart is painful.  Dating in your 40’s is near impossible.

I have been blessed to know love.  It is a feeling beyond description and in the words of Tennyson: “I hold it true, whate’er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; ‘Tis better to have loved and lost; Than never to have loved at all.”  I am grateful for my past, and know I will love again.

This article has been cathartic, but at the same time, I am worried I have somehow betrayed my loyal heart.  My heart may be stupid, but it has been loyal so at the end of the day all I can do it begin to trust myself, hope it is received well, and keep the faith.

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December 3, 2010 | 9:36 am

Homeless Man + Chocolate Covered Cherry = TGIF.  Seriously.

Posted by Ilana Angel

It’s been a long week.  Work is busy, my mother is in town, it’s the holidays, and my son has a lot of algebra home work.  While I would love to help him, it makes absolutely no sense to me, and it takes all my strength to not tell him that he will never need to know this crap.

It’s the holiday season and one would expect, or rather hope, people would be kind to each other.  Yesterday as I shopped at CVS, I walked past a woman and she yelled at me for walking too fast.  Really?  Is there a speed limit when walking down the aisle of a store?

After work, I went to fill my car with gas, and a homeless person asked if I could spare some change.  I grabbed my wallet, pulled out $5, and gave it to the man.  I wished him a happy holiday season, and continued to fill my car.  He thanked me and walked off.

I got in my car, started the engine, and was about to pull out when there was a knock at my window.  I about peed my pants it scared me so bad.  It’s dark at 5:00 now and the sight of someone at my window scared the crap out of me.  It took me a second to realize that it was the homeless man.

I opened my window and asked if he was ok.  He said he thought I gave him a dollar, and when he went into the gas station to get a coffee, he realized it was a 5, and he bought himself some dinner.  He thanked me for being so generous and gave me a chocolate covered cherry.

It was the sweetest gesture.  I was going to tell him he shouldn’t have and quickly changed my mind.  I thanked him, told him it had been a long day, and a chocolate was exactly what I needed.  I opened the candy, ate it, and told him it was the best chocolate I ever had.

He smiled and the joy it gave him to help a stranger was visible.  He was happy, and it had been a bad day, and I started to cry.  I told him he made my day and his kindness mattered to me.  Of all the people I encountered all day, he was the only one that had been kind.

He laughed and told me that of all the people he had spoken to, I had been the first one to be kind.  Go figure.  How sad that in a world that is struggling, when it costs nothing to be nice to a stranger, the only kindness we experienced all day was from each other.

I thanked him again for the chocolate, he thanked me for dinner, and at the exact same moment we both said God Bless You to one another.  I don’t know his name, or what his story is.  What I do know is that he was homeless, filthy, suffering, and the owner of a kind and generous heart.

We must be kind to each other.  It matters.  There are no strangers.  We are all in this together, all being watched over by God, and we owe it to each other to be nice.  Thank God it’s Friday.  I am going to spend the evening with my mother, and enjoy a quiet and peaceful Shabbat.

To the people of Israel who are fighting the fire, along with the families of those lost, I am sending you my prayers.  To the homeless people who are cold and hungry, I am sending you my prayers.  To the people who are unable to see their blessings, I am sending you my prayers.

My real desire is to buy an entire box of chocolate covered cherries, a bottle of red wine, and a bag of potato chips, then sit on my couch devouring all of it and wallowing in a little bitterness.  What I shall do instead, is count my blessings, be grateful for my life, and keep the faith.

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December 2, 2010 | 8:45 am

Happy Hanukkah – I’m Bleeding!

Posted by Ilana Angel

Last night was the first night of Hanukkah.  It’s such a happy holiday.  It’s fascinating for a holiday that is so old, and seeped in such tradition, that nobody knows how to spell it.  If I get a dozen cards, from a dozen different people, each card will spell it differently.

My mom is in town and last night we went to dinner at a friend’s house.  She made a fabulous meal, we had a lovely drink, all the kids were there, and it was wonderful.  My friend is not a Jew by birth, but Jewish by association.  I love her and it was great to start the holiday with her and her family.

I am my father’s daughter.  I look like him, have his personality and sense of humor.  I have my mother’s feisty Israeli side, and it turns out, her low tolerance to booze.  My adorable little mother, who is not even 5’ tall, had a drink when we got to my friend’s house and within minutes was a little tipsy.

She is so cute.  She giggles and was adorable.  I look at my mom with a little booze in her and I can see myself.  We are a couple of lightweights.  So we are sitting in the kitchen, my mom is visiting, my friend is putting the finishing touches on dinner, and I am cutting a pineapple.

I am chatting and laughing and perhaps not paying as much attention as I should.  My friend’s husband is sitting with us in the kitchen, the kids are doing homework, the dog is wagging her tail, and as I am taking in the Norman Rockwell moment, I slice off the top of my thumb.

How many times have you been cutting something and thought to yourself, “I need new knives that are super sharp”.  I cook in my home everyday and so I say it quite often.  My knives are never sharp enough.  But not in her house.  This knife could cut through steel with no effort at all.

The pain was instant and horrible.  It was throbbing and I could have sworn I chopped off my entire thumb.  I’m gushing blood and convinced I am going to faint at any moment from blood loss.  My friend’s husband jumps into action and takes control of the situation getting a first aid kit.

He rinses my thumb and we see I have sliced off the top chunk of skin but it’s still attached and now has a stylish flap on it.  He cleans it, puts on antibacterial cream, a Band-aid, and tapes it tight.  I won’t lose my thumb, but I could have!  It really hurt and there was so much blood.

2010 will be remembered at the year I could not spin a dreidel.  You cannot properly spin a dreidel without the use of your thumb.  Of course it was my left hand that was injured, and I am right handed, but my right hand has decided to not spin in support of the left hand’s constant pain.

I will be fine, no stitches were required, and the Advil and margarita quickly took the edge off the pain.  Nothing says Hanukkah like 8 nights of throbbing thumb pain.  Thank you to my friend for a lovely dinner and to her fake doctor husband.  I’m giving them dull knives for Christmas.

I hope all of you who celebrate the holiday have a wonderful and joyous time, regardless of how you spell it.  I wish you all health and happiness, peace and love.  Happy Chanukah, Hannukkah, Chanukkah and Hanukkah!  Be safe, be kind, be generous to a stranger, and keep the faith.

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December 1, 2010 | 8:38 am

Public Displays of Affection vs. Public Displays of Sex

Posted by Ilana Angel

I’ve always been big on PDA’s.  I think it’s lovely to walk holding hands, or to grab a quick kiss when out and about with someone I care about.  There are many ways to show affection in public and my personal favorite is when the man I am with places his hand on the small of back.

He is protecting me, showing me off, guiding me, claiming me, and at the core of it all, touching me in a personal yet completely acceptable way.  I love it.  I am a very tactile person and I think touch is important, so for me PDA’s are simply part of a relationship.

I like to think I am an open-minded person.  I certainly am in terms of physical relations between two consenting adults.  I have written before, and will reiterate now that sex is one of the best things about being a grown up.  When you are old enough to handle the emotions that go with it, it is fantastic.

Sex is more than being physical.  There are emotional aspects of sex that are more powerful than the physical, and that’s why I think sex gets better when you get older.  We are able to appreciate it for all it is, and are better able to handle the feelings of our minds, hearts and bodies.

Just when I think I am cool about sex, I am forced to face the facts that I really might not be.  Yesterday, while at the post office, I witnessed two people in line having sex. Depending on what your definition of sex is, you may or may not agree, but for me, they were going at it.

The man appeared to be in his late 40’s and the woman was perhaps late 30’s. It was hard to tell as her face was down the throat of her boyfriend.  I am assuming it was her boyfriend, as she was not wearing a ring. Or a bra. I know about the bra as I saw her breast as he fondled it.

They were in line, he had one hand was on her boob and the other grabbing her hair.  She had one hand on his neck and the other on his crotch.  They were kissing and clearly engaged, but completely silent.  Not a peep.  I watched in fascination as did the other people in line.

As the line moved forward, so did they, without missing a beat.  We shuffled, they shuffled.  It was hilarious and the first time I watched porn while waiting in line to send mail.  For those of you who read my blog on a regular basis, you know I was not going to keep quiet.

I tapped the woman on the shoulder and told her I was sorry to interrupt but her breast was exposed and I thought she should know.  It took her a minute to gather her composure, and when she did, she was lovely, as was her boyfriend.  They were a little embarrassed but fine.

She apologized, straightened her blouse, laughed, gave him a kiss, then turned to me and said thank you.  I told her I didn’t know whether to turn away or order a drink.  They told me they were sorry, looked around, and anyone who was looking got an apology too.

We then all waited in line, mailed our items and life went on.  It was odd, but just another day in LA.  I finished my postal business, headed to my car and saw the couple outside making out again.  I walked past and suggested they get a room before they were arrested.

The man then told me that rather than only watching them, I should join in.  The woman laughed, kissed him, then looked at me and said it would be fun.  I thanked them for the lovely offer, told them I would wait for their movie to come out, and wished them a happy holiday season.

I was dying to know what their deal was but didn’t have the time to ask.  By not having the time to ask of course I mean they scared the crap out of me and I could not get away fast enough.  As I drove back to work I decided my imagination was probably going to be better than their reality.

Was he just out of prison and at the post office to mail his probation officer something and they could not stop touching each other because he had been away so long?  Was he married and he just dropped off his wife and kids at the airport and was now with his mistress?

Had he met her online just that morning?  Were they just a couple in love?  Was she a hooker and he needed to mail something and did not want to waste the time he had already paid for?  Were they porn stars rehearsing for a film about a mail carrier that sleeps with women on his route?

Perhaps they were regular people who have no idea what appropriate public behavior is. Sex is fabulous.  I seem to recall it was fabulous.  I am of the belief however that it should be private.  By private of course I mean do it wherever you want, just without people watching.

I liked this couple.  They were not afraid to live their lives out loud and I applaud their gumption.  They were free and that is awesome.  I hope I meet a man who likes public displays of affection.  To clarify, appropriate public displays of affection not public displays of sex.

People are fascinating and while this couple was intimidating, they inspired me to not give up on finding love.  I’m going with the story that they are just two people in love and want the world to see that love is available to everyone who is keeping the faith.

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November 29, 2010 | 11:53 pm

Skating With The “Stars” May Be the Worse Show on Television – Ever

Posted by Ilana Angel

I have decided to keep watching this show.  Not because it is good, but because it is so bad.  I love reality television and I write about it a lot.  This show however, is being written about not because I love it, but rather because every single second of it is a nightmare.

It would be hard to pinpoint what the bottom of the list is as there is so much to choose from.  Is it the set, costumes, host, judges, commentator, contestants, hair, or make-up?  The choices are endless so the conclusion is that every second of this show makes me want to harm myself.

The host, whose names I cannot remember, is useless.  The commentator is a moron.  The professional skaters are forgettable, and the “stars” are pathetic.  The costumes are ugly, the hair styling is uglier and the make-up is the ugliest of all.  Why is this show on television?

As I ask myself this question for the 10th time in 10 minutes, I get a nugget of gold that forbids me from turning it off.  Vince Neil falls and when he tries to get up, he almost pulls his partner down.  I laughed out loud.  Loved it.

Dick Buttons is drunk, Laurie Ann Gibson is an idiot, and Johnny Weir is the one thing that I can stand but he is wasted here.  He is a hoot to watch and his make-up and hair today were clearly done by the Marie Osmond Doll Shop.  Come on Johnny, be careful sweetie.

Bethenny Frankel is on this show and it’s painful.  She is gross.  She cries about how she is not sleeping and I’m so sick of it.  She has spent the last year telling the whole world that she gets no sleep.  We don’t care.  She is a whiner, and a self-promoter, and I cannot stand to hear her voice.

She wants us to feel sorry for her and how hard her life is.  Shut up Bethenny.  Her husband is in the audience watching, along with Andy Cohen and it’s all just icky.  I go back and forth on this woman.  Sometimes I love her, and other times I cannot stand her.  Today, she is annoying.

Laurie Ann Gibson does not make any sense.  The host, what’s his name, keeps trying to reel her in but to not avail.  She is a loose cannon but not in a “reality television gold” way, but more of a “someone fire this chick before we all impale ourselves at the sound of her voice” way.

Sean Young fell tonight and while I know it is not nice, I could not stop laughing.  She appears to be seriously medicated and it’s fascinating she is able to stand on skates, let alone be given skates.  She is a mess and I love her.  By love her of course I mean train wreck.  Whoo hoo!

Rebecca, the chick from some soap opera, who was married to Bob the Bachelor, is a great skater.  You almost forget she has no personality.  Almost.  She looks like a young version of Sean Young which I think is a little creepy, but I’m guessing Sean hates it, which I find entertaining.

Just when I convince myself that I can watch this show next week because Sean promises some good television, she is voted off.  Really America?  Don’t you get that she should have stayed for the train wreck element?  I’m so disappointed that she is leaving.

This show is horrible.  No matter how hard I talk myself into a reason to watch it, it is horrible.  The good news is it’s only on for 5 weeks so I’m not wasting more than a few hours.  I just need to think of it as a quick trip through hell and even hell is bearable if you can keep the faith.

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November 29, 2010 | 9:37 am

Mom, A Blown Tire & Thanksgiving With Jesus, Moses & Muhammad

Posted by Ilana Angel

My mom is in town. She is super cute and I get a kick out of her.  She’s not much for going out.  She likes to stay home, cooking and knitting.  It’s funny because those are Grandmotherly things to do and I guess I now view her as the Grandma to my child, as much as my own mother.

We had a low key weekend of cooking, eating, visiting, and resting.  I love so much having her here and sleep a little but better with her in the next room.  She will be here for a couple of weeks and I am going to focus on enjoying our time together, rather than worrying about her leaving.

I’m dreading the day she goes back.  It’s sad because I will worry about her leaving and it will be a cloud over our visit.  It’s hard not having my family close.  Everyone is in Canada and after twenty years in Los Angeles, I feel the distance the most when they leave after a visit.

I hope when my son is my age he loves me as much as I love her.  Speaking of my son, we went out yesterday to run some errands and stop by a birthday party.  As we tooled around town, I blew a tire.  I heard the tire pop and it was loud.  It’s a really scary thing.

Thank God it happened on the street. not the freeway.  I can’t imagine how frightening it would of been if I were blazing down the freeway.  My son was amazing.  He was calm, cool and collected.  We called AAA and they came out, changed the flat, and we went tire shopping.

When we were waiting for the new tire to be put on, I had an interesting conversation with my boy about his driving.  We’ve talked about his driving here and there, but it was our first in depth chat about what it will be like when he gets his driver’s license, which will be in about a year.

This child has plans!  He knows what kind of car he wants, how he’s going to pay for gas, the insurance he wants, and a car wash schedule.  Hilarious.  A lot of thought was put into it, none of which matched my never allowing him to go on the freeway and only being allowed to turn right.

I love my kid and I love my mom.  It’s an interesting time in my relationships with both of them.  My Mom is who defined my past, and my son is shaping my future.  It’s so wonderful for all three generations to be together and I thank God my son gets this time with her.

Speaking of being thankful, I had a great Thanksgiving.  My son and I went to friends for dinner and it was really great.  The food was divine, the company was entertaining, and the entire evening was fabulous.  It was a bunch of very different people, who meshed perfectly.

I knew some of the people there, and met some new friends.  Gathered around our table were Jews, Muslims and Christians.  We had a great discussion about Jesus, Muhammad and Moses.  It’s fascinating to me that when you discuss these three men without judgment, it’s so good.

I’m not big on religion, but I am big on faith and believing in something greater than myself.  God has a place in my life and it’s personal.  It’s Jewish certainly, but more than that, it is personal.  To hear a group of women discuss how important God is to them was very interesting.

We all said pretty much the same thing about our faiths.  It’s lovely when you talk about faith with an open heart and mind, allowing everyone to believe what they want.  You learn and grow.  It’s sad so many people are not willing to listen, allowing religion to be a catalyst for hate.

I wonder what Thanksgiving would be like with Jesus, Muhammad and Moses at the table.  Would they be able to have a meal together, learning from each other, and walk away with a renewed commitment to their own beliefs, while embracing the spiritual path their friends are on?

I truly believe they would.  I honestly think if they were here, and could see what religion has done to the world, they would be heartbroken.  It’s not what any of them would want or expect of us all.  At what point will we start to think about what they would think about our actions?

It’s one thing to say you are a Jew, or a Christian, or a Muslim, but it’s another thing to actually live your life with the morals and obligations that are asked of us by our faith.  We all seem to be conveniently religious about what we choose, but few of us are actually willing to walk the walk.

A friend of mine in Canada posted an article about her local school board, which has decided to change the name of the schools districts winter break to “Christmas” break.  They feel the break is about Christmas and Christ and they want the name to reflect that.

What are we teaching our children about religion when we alienate some kids in such a blatant fashion?  If you are the minority, and you celebrate something other than Christmas, how will that make you feel?  We are teaching our kids to separate each other based on religious practices.

The world is a mess and it’s our fault.  When will we, as adults, stand up and say enough?  Will we ever live in a world where people are judged on who they are as people, not by how and who they choose to worship?  It’s heartbreaking and ultimately not that difficult.

I suppose I sound naïve and stupid for thinking it’s so simple.  I am raising my son to be a Jew.  I am also raising him to love humanity, help those less fortunate, and not discriminate against anyone because of color or faith.  It’s my obligation to do so as a mother and as a Jew.

To the people of the school board, it’s a “winter” break and you are damaging your children, and setting back our hope for the future.  To the ladies I had Thanksgiving with, you are amazing and I thank you for reminding me that regardless of beliefs, we must all keep the faith.

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