September 6, 2010 | 6:42 pm

Real Housewives of New Jersey – Even Tony Soprano Would Be Embarrassed

Posted by Ilana Angel

Even after Tony Soprano killed people, you still kinda wanted to be his neighbor. He was just doing his job, and it was nothing personal.  That said, I think if Tony Soprano was a real person, he would get rid of these ladies of New Jersey because they are an embarrassment to his state.

I was going to go through the entire show and comment on it line for line but I can’t.  It is painful to watch so writing about it would simply be unbearable.  The bottom line is that this show stopped being entertaining and we cannot, and should not, believe anything that any of them say.

Sadly the most disgusting part of the show is Andy Cohen.  He was charming and funny in the beginning.  He appeared to be having fun with his housewives project and we were all along for the ride.  He is now a money hungry, celebrity whore and it’s sickening.

Just when you think this show cannot get more disturbing, we see a commercial for the new season of the ladies of Atlanta.  Seriously people, I just don’t think I can do it.  I’m going to have to walk away.  I will of course come back for New York and possibly Orange County but that’s all.

Andy Cohen has managed to take a really fun show and turn it into a train wreck.  He’s an idiot.  A brilliant idiot who is running all the way to the bank.  I think it’s rather sad that he has sold his soul to the devil for a buck.  He is watching lives fall apart and does not seem to mind.

Kim G. comes on and she makes my skin crawl.  I think she plays dirty, is obsessed with being on television, and is the reason that things got so out of hand with the regulars.  They were never going to all be friends, but Kim G. is the reason things got out of control and ugly so fast.

The recapping is a waste of time because it was not that interesting the first time we saw it.  I have loved Caroline from the beginning but the rose colored glasses are now cracked.  Caroline is a bully, Danielle is a sociopath, Jacqueline is a moron and Theresa is a pig.  I’m done.

Oh.  My.  God.  Just as I am getting excited about this show finally being over, they show a commercial for the housewives of Beverly Hills.  I am so over the whole thing.  The Beverly Hills women look pathetic and I’m mortified that they live so close to me.  Not watching.

Back to New Jersey, Jacqueline sees the light and apologizes for everything she has had a hand in.  Teresa sees a sliver of light also and says she never said anything bad about Danielle.  Danielle says she is sorry and lets them know she will drop all litigation that is pending.

Danielle gets up off the couch, hugs Teresa and says she is sorry.  She then hugs Jacqueline and tells her she is sorry.  Finally she sits down and extends a hand to Caroline and tells her she is sorry.  Important to note that I was having a glass of wine so I might have made this part up.

Sidebar:  I think we’ve reached a point in our cyber relationship where I can be totally honest with you.  This made me cry.  I felt relief and joy and I took a sigh of relief.  Whether it was real or fake I don’t care.  It was great television and I lapped it up like a dog at the water bowl.

Instead of letting the show end with sunshine, Caroline is a total bitch and sucks the joy out of the moment.  I lost all respect for her in the last ten seconds of the show.  It was bound to happen.  Will they be back?  Will Danielle get her own show? I’m hoping no and keeping the faith!

13 Comments — Leave your comment

September 6, 2010 | 7:15 am

Are There Harley Riding, Country Music Loving, Tattooed, Bald Jewish Guys?

Posted by Ilana Angel

I was asked yesterday if I have a “type”.  If you look at the last couple of men I’ve had relationships with, one could argue that yes I do.  There were enough similarities between the two men that it would appear that I do have a type.  The problem is that my “type” is not easily found.

I like a man who rides a Harley.  Lots of men ride motorcycles, but there is something about a Harley that is special.  It is iconic, sexy, and very manly.  It is so much power and takes confidence to ride it with ease.  If a man can handle a Harley, then maybe he can handle me.

I like country music.  I like the stories that are told and I can relate to them.  They are songs about our lives and I hear them sometimes and think they were written about me.  I’m not wearing cowboy boots, or sporting a Stetson, but you can find it on my iPod and programmed in my car.

I love tattoos.  I think they can be beautiful and are works of art.  The rules on tattoos for Jews are different depending on who you talk to.  The thought that Jews cannot be buried in a Jewish cemetery with tattoos is not true.  There is a great article on Jews and tattoos from a few years back in the New York Times.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/17/fashion/17SKIN.html

I actually have tattoos.  Truth be told, I have six.  They are all small, discreet and commemorate important events in my life.  They are all beautiful, meaningful and important.  None of them are frivolous or silly.  They make me happy and are truly pieces of art.

I have had Jewish men tell me they can’t date me because of my tattoos.  I always thought that was interesting.  I’ve had a man tell me he thinks he is falling in love with me, then when he saw the tattoos, said I was not a good Jew and that he did not want to see me again.  Interesting.

I like a bald head.  I think there is something sexy about a man with no hair.  I’m not sure why, but perhaps it’s because I think it takes guts to sport a bald head. It’s bold to be bald and I like that.  Keeping up with a bald head is just as much work, if not more, than taking care of hair.

The question is:  Are there any Harley riding, country music loving, tattooed, bald Jewish men?  If you know of one, and he is single, I want to meet him.  I know Jewish men with a couple of the things on my list, but I never met one who had them all.  Maybe it’s an impossible list.

I like to think he is out there right now, listening to Garth Brooks as he cleans his Harley and gets ready for the High Holidays.  He is walking around unaware that I am looking for him.  If you know him, tell him to read my blog, let him know I am waiting, and keeping the faith.

2 Comments — Leave your comment

September 5, 2010 | 1:59 pm

Dating At Whole Foods

Posted by Ilana Angel

I met two really interesting men this weekend at Whole Foods.  They were both random, both unexpected, and both lovely.  I live close to a Whole Foods and shop there quite regularly because it is so convenient.  FYI: the raw kale salad is my new favorite thing.

I’m in Whole Foods and I see a man across the produce aisle.  I’m staring at him because he is simply stunning.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder of course, but in my eyes this man was divine looking.  I was caught up in him and could not look away.  He glanced over, saw I was staring, and smiled.

I turn away and continue on with my shopping while fantasizing about our falling in love.  In the prepared food aisle, I am in line to get my kale salad when I see him come up the aisle.  I stare again, he sees me again, smiles again and I’m embarrassed to be caught gawking. Again.

He walks over to me smiling and here are some highlights from our conversation:

“Hi.  Do we know each other?”
“No.  I was just staring because you are insanely attractive.” 
“Wow.  Well thanks.  I’m Rob.  You made my day.
“Hi Rob.  I’m Ilana and you are the best looking man I’ve ever seen.”
“You are hilarious.  Do you live in the neighborhood?”
“I do.  Do you?  I don’t think I’ve ever seen you here before.”
“I live up the street.  Maybe you saw me but I was ugly that day.”
“That must have been it.  You can’t possibly be this gorgeous everyday.”
“Would you like to grab a bite sometime?”
“I can’t look you in the eye because it’s intimidating so how could I eat?”
“Can you see without your glasses?”
“I’m as blind as a bat.”
“Take your glasses off so you can’t see me and we can hang out.”

And so began my friendship with Rob.  He is smart, funny, and unfairly attractive.  We exchanged numbers and went on our way.  He called.  We met for a drink, and then saw a movie.  I adore him.  He is a “normal” guy with a heart of gold and a kind and gentle soul.

I managed to hold my stomach in for five consecutive hours and it turns out that it was not necessary.  He was attentive, completely unaware that every woman who sees him stares, and looked at me as if we were the only two people around for miles.  He is Prince Charming.

Rob is delicious.  I know he is reading this blog today so hello my new friend.  You are a remarkable man and I’m so glad you caught me staring.  I enjoyed spending time with you and I think you and I shall be friends forever.  The rest we’ll figure out as we go.

On Saturday, I was back at Whole Foods.  I went to buy my new favorite obsession, Greek yogurt.  I approach the line to pay and as I get to the cash register, there is a man getting there at the same time.  He tells me to go ahead.  I thank him and start to unpack my basket.

He is tall, has elaborate tattoos on his arm, and eyes that were the most magnificent amber color.  He commented on the yogurt and asked if I had tried the fig flavor.  I tell him I had, loved it, and said I think the honey one is the best.  He agrees, I pay my bill, thank him again, and go.

This morning I went for a walk in the early morning.  I finished my walk and as I passed Whole Foods to go home, I decided to run in and get some fruit.  I see tattoo man there and so I say hello.  He says hi, we start chatting, one thing leads to another and numbers are exchanged.

Maybe tattoo will call, maybe he won’t.  Maybe I’ll be brave, maybe I won’t.  I had a perfect date with Rob and look forward to our friendship.  The lesson learned is that people don’t always see us as we see ourselves.  If we stop worrying about what they see, life gets interesting.

I never imagined I would go on a date with someone like Rob.  He’s intimidating to look at because he is so handsome.  At the end of the day he sees himself as a good person so perhaps that is what makes him so handsome.  He is just a man looking for love like everyone else.

I am not the prettiest girl, the thinnest girl, or the smartest girl.  What I am is a good person, with a beautiful and giving heart, a fantastic sense of humor, and an unending belief in myself.  I think I rock and that is the message I send out into the world.  It turns out that is attractive.

There is someone for everyone.  If we open our minds and let our guard down, we can see the person who may be our Beshert may not come in the wrapping we are expecting.  With no expectations the rewards are endless.  Can love be found at Whole Foods?  Let’s keep the faith.

P.S. I wanted to get a bottle of wine so the “wine guy” suggested something called Nero del Nago.  I was concerned because it was only $5.99 but he said I needed to try it and not let the price fool me.  If I loved it, score and if I hated it, it was only six bucks.  Sounded fair so I bought it, and let me just say it is my new favorite and I highly recommend it.

 

5 Comments — Leave your comment

September 2, 2010 | 9:57 pm

The Right Temple Changes Everything – Shabbat Shalom

Posted by Ilana Angel

I have had a very long and trying week.  Between the agony of my toothache, and the joy of my son starting high school, it’s been a little stressful.  I am looking forward to the weekend.  Not so much because it is a few days off, but because I am going to go to temple for Shabbat.

Shabbat eases my mind, calms my soul, and reminds me to breathe.  When I go to Friday night services my entire weekend takes on a different vibe.  For me, being in shul, surrounded by my faith, listening to the sermon of my Rabbi, and allowing the music to embrace me, feels good.

In my opinion, if services do not leave you feeling fulfilled and at peace, then maybe you are not at the right temple.  So many of us go to a temple that we grew up at, or is close to home.  As adults who are aware of the parts of Judaism we connect to, we owe it to ourselves to temple shop.

In Los Angeles we have a lot of choices.  I have gone to a lot of temples to check them out and found a few that are really great.  I have been to some where it took all my strength to not fall asleep.  Some Rabbi’s inspired me to learn and think, while others made me want to bail in the middle of services.

Faith is important to me.  I don’t think you need to go to a house of worship to have a belief in God.  Regardless of what religion you practice, he listens. Where you pray does not determine if your prayers are answered.  I don’t go to temple to be with God because he is with me wherever I am.  Faith is personal and the right temple gets that.

I go to temple to learn.  A sermon can inspire me to be think, feel, reflect and feel gratitude.  My life, while blessed, is complicated.  I have a lot of things going on, both good and bad, and sometimes I lose site of today because I am too busy worrying about tomorrow.

Temple puts things into perspective.  I am happy there.  It gives me the strength to fight through my messes, and the ability to enjoy my blessings.  If you are not inspired to embrace faith at your temple, then find a new one.  The right temple will enhance your experience and make it easier to keep the faith

Shabbat Shalom

1 Comments — Leave your comment

September 2, 2010 | 7:53 am

A Suicide Attempt, A Dodge Charger and A Crazy Bitch

Posted by Ilana Angel

This week a 22 year old man jumped off a 39-story apartment building in New York City.  He had written on his Facebook page that he hated his life and was “over it”.  The assumption is that he was attempting suicide.  How sad he must have been to do this.

It’s a horrible way to die.  You have the entire time you are falling to think about what you’ve done, and even if you regret it, there is nothing you can do.  For this young man, who is an actor living in the city and working in retail, it seemed like the only answer.

What makes the story truly amazing is that the young man did not die.  He landed on a parked car and miraculously survived the fall.  He is in the hospital, doing well, and will be fine.  It’s remarkable that this recent college graduate is alive.

He landed on the back of a Dodge Charger.  The owner of the car is a construction worker who was working nearby.  He had driven his wife’s car to work and could not believe it saved the man’s life. He was not concerned with the fact that the car was totaled.

Sidebar:  I get how people love their cars.  It’s a huge investment of money and time to have a beautiful car and take care of it.  I’ve never been a car person really.  I like my car, and I take care of it, but there is no sense of parental pride for my wheels.

This is where the story gets sad.  By sad, of course I mean disgusting.  The fact that this young man felt so desperate he would try to end his life in such a dramatic and horrific way is sad, the response from the woman who owns the car is disgusting.

The wife of the construction worker told the media in New York City that she is pissed off.  She had just filled the car with gas, and was annoyed that of all the cars in New York City, he “picked” her car to jump on.  I want to smack this crazy bitch.

She said she loved the car and said she wanted to meet the man who ruined her car and ask if he feels like an idiot that he did not die and ruined a car in the process.  She goes on to say that the car and her baby.  Really?

Listen to me you selfish, insane, moron, a young man almost died.  He is only 22 years old.  His spirit was so broken that he jumped off a building to end his pain and you are concerned about your car.  It’s a car you idiot.  How is that of more value than a life?

This woman who is worried about the loss of her “baby” needs to shut up!  You are an idiot and every time you open your mouth you are digging yourself closer to hell.  You are truly disgusting, an embarrassment to your family, and the city of New York.

To the construction worker who is married to the crazy person, I can only image what your life must be like to be married to this woman.  That she values a car over a life is quite telling.  You are in my prayers as I imagine you are living in your own darkness.

To this young man, I am sorry for your pain.  I hope you get the help and support you need to get well and live a full and happy life.  Living with despair is exhausting and I wish only good things for you.  You are in my prayers.  Breathe deeply and keep the faith.

13 Comments — Leave your comment

September 1, 2010 | 6:37 am

The Dentist vs. The Used Car Salesman

Posted by Ilana Angel

I have a tooth ache.  It came out of nowhere and I thought I would pass out it was so painful.  I did not have a dentist as mine retired and I did not love his replacement. I went to a new doctor who was recommended by a friend.  I called, explained I was in pain, and they took me in right away.

The new dentist is charming and attractive.  He was comforting, and assured me it would all be fine and not to worry.  They took x-rays and determined that I needed a root canal.  Ouch. He explains it to me in a way that was rather condescending, but I was in such pain I did not care and agreed.

He did the root canal, placed a temporary filling, and said to wait a week for it to settle down and then come in for the crown.  After two days I was in more pain than before the root canal.  I went in, he took additional x-rays and determined he missed a canal and needed to go back in. 

He is joking and making light of the situation.  I’m annoyed, still in pain, and feeling like I need to find a new dentist quickly.  This guy is more of a used car salesman than a doctor. What was charming in the beginning, is now creepy.  He is going back in and I know I should not let him.

Now he’s done the root canal twice, sends me on my way telling me it will no longer hurt, and I can keep my appointment for Thursday to do the crown.  I woke up this morning with an insane toothache.  Whatever he is doing to my tooth is not working, and his attitude is bugging me.

He talks to me like I am a child.  He does not listen to what I am saying, makes stupid jokes, and is not taking me seriously.  I’ve still got a toothache and am supposed to have him finish the work Thursday with the crown.  Why would I put a crown on a tooth that still has issues?

I’m stuck between wanting him to finish, and not wanting him anywhere near me.  He went from a lovely man who took me in right away, to a sleazy guy who appears to be unable to do his job.  He may be in a white coat, but he is trying to sell me a used car and I’m not buying.

I know not all dentists are used car salesmen.  I’m just saying that this specific doctor, who is an expert in his field, has an obligation to those he is servicing to not be a douchelord.  I’m not a dentist, but I’m also not an idiot, so let’s be respectful of each other.

I would never go to a dentist to buy a car.  I would never go to a car salesman for a toothache.  Although I think the car guy might do a better job than the quack I went to see.  I want to yank the tooth out so it will stop hurting.  Instead I need to find a new dentist to fix what went wrong.

Would it be so bad to pull it out myself?  Could I make a missing tooth look cool?  Could it become fashionable to have a smile with a big hole in it?  Seriously people, it could be ho to have a built in straw rest.  It could become all the rage.  Who will join my on this fashion revolution?

A toothache is a powerful thing.  It allows you to believe whatever anyone tells you if there is a promise for relief at the end.  I’m heading off to work with a bottle of Advil and a mission to find a good dentist.  Will I make it through the day without pulling out my own tooth?  Keep the faith.

7 Comments — Leave your comment

August 30, 2010 | 9:32 pm

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Implode & Must Be Cancelled

Posted by Ilana Angel

In terms of the reality of reality television, this show is quite simply the most disgusting show on television.  I am embarrassed for these women, their children, and their families.  They need to all be gathered up as a group and have the crap kicked out of them.  Seriously ladies, grow the hell up.

I have avoided this show like the plague.  I’ve gotten sucked in a couple of times, which has been painful.  I try to look away but I can’t stop.  My eyes start bleeding but I can’t stop watching.  They are repulsive women, and I do not understand why they have not been cancelled.

Within the first few minutes of the reunion Teresa proves that she is a skanky, disgusting pig.  This woman is horrible, and the entire season has been focused on how Danielle is an unfit mother, but let’s call a spade a spade.  Teresa is ridiculous and needs to be locked up.

It is clear from the get go that this is a gang attack on Danielle.  They came to the table ready to fight.  You’ve got to know this show needs to be off the air when you watch and are actually cheering for Danielle.  Danielle is a whackadoodle and yet I feel bad for her.

To be clear, when I use the word “lady” to describe any woman on this show, what I really mean is “psychotic bitch”.  That would use up too much space so if you don’t mind, whenever you read the word “lady”, substitute it with “psychotic bitch” and you will know how I really feel.

Teresa is calling Danielle a whore for having sex in her home with Steve.  She calls Danielle out for being slutty, which is fascinating since we saw Teresa mount her husband on television.  Just because you are married, does not mean you are classy.  Teresa is just as bad as Danielle.

The sarcasm is dripping like an annoying faucet.  I’m fascinated by how they are all acting and all I want to do is shut the television, yet I watching in horror.  If I were from New Jersey, I would rather people tell me I remind them of the chicks of Jersey Shore over the “ladies” of Bravo.

Important to note, I have always been a fan of Andy Cohen, but he could not be less attractive than he was tonight.  He is a celebrity whore.  This guy is all about money and not the well being of the “ladies” who are making him all the money.  Be careful Andy.  You are becoming a pig.

We find out the accusation from last year’s reunion show, that caused Caroline to cry and lose her mind, was that Danielle tried to have Lexi taken away from Dina.  I think Danielle needs to be under medical care, but I do not think she tried to have Lexi taken from Dina.  Just not buying it.

They are talking about some nonsense and Teresa freaks out.  She stands up, gets in Danielle’s face in a seriously threatening way, and I start praying it’s all a dream and I’ve just dozed off in front of an old episode of The Sopranos.  Teresa proves she is truly a piece of garbage.

To say she is cursing like a sailor would be unkind to the military.  She is screaming and cussing like a coke whore who just realized she has no more drugs and no one around to screw for money so she can get more crack.  If I were Italian I would be mortified that this woman was my people.

Teresa is being gross, and Jacqueline is fixing her hair, oblivious to what has just happened and clearly thinking about why there are no snacks out.  Danielle is in the back crying and I actually feel sorry for her.  Her hairdresser is calming her down while her lesbian lover is comforting her.

Andy is making light of the whole thing, and laughing with Teresa which is really disgusting.  Why is nobody suing his ass for putting their lives and mental health in danger?  Hey Andy Cohen, you’re going to hell my friend and there is not a lot of time to turn that decision around.

Every time Danielle speaks, one of the “ladies” talks over her or says something sarcastic.  It’s annoying.  Caroline is talking about her kids and cries, and Danielle says to get her a tissue.  Is it just me or is Danielle looking like a lady, while the other girls are looking like “ladies”?

Sidebar:  The entire conversation that Andy has with Teresa about her financial woes is a complete and total pile of crap.  I do not believe one single thing she says about any of it.  She is insane, put her husband into bankruptcy and should go live in a trailer for a year.  Liar.

Additionally: The entire conversation that Andy has with Teresa about Joe and his drunk driving arrest is a complete and total pile of crap.  I do not believe one single thing she says about any of it.  She is insane, drove her husband to drink, and should go live in a trailer for a year.  Liar.

They talk about Danny, and Danielle says she never slept with him, was not the cause of his divorce, and he’s not that big a deal to her.  Meanwhile, she spent the entire season talking about how much she loved him and cared for him. He was her friend yet she sells him down the river.

She claims the Sweet Sixteen party was donated and she spent no money.  Whatever.  She says she was a born again virgin because she was refraining from sex, but now she is sexually active again.  Whatever.  Does Andy not have anything of interest to ask her?  This useless crap.

Danielle won’t come out and say she is pretending to be a lesbian.  It’s now boring and as Danielle is talking about her girlfriend, I am daydreaming about slapping Andy Cohen across the face.  Danielle then says she is what she is on television because of how she is edited.

Caroline calls her out on the statement by saying it has nothing to do with editing, and they all are exactly what we see on Bravo.  Then Caroline channels Kelly and says something about Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride that makes absolutely no sense.  Satchels of gold Sweetie.

Andy now wants to talk about Danielle’s sex tapes.  Apparently this is more about an update with Danielle than a reunion with all the girls.  They are still talking about the sex tapes but I gauged my eyes out and needed to grab a towel so I missed part of that conversation.

Danielle seems to think that her kids have no idea about what is going on with their mother because they do not watch the show.  Really?  Danielle, I can assure you that your kids know every single thing that you say and do, and are plotting their escape at this exact moment.

Caroline is now ranting about the Okay Corral and actually says “yippee ki-yay”.  Is she kidding?  Is she drunk?  Who are these people and why are they on television?  What happened to the good old days of Tamara, Vicky, Jill and Ramona?  We were all so happy then.  Bravo sucks.

The worst, and yet best part of this reunion, is that it will continue next week.  I am seriously going to pray that next week will be the last we see of these “ladies”.  I’m over it and think they are a danger to themselves and each other.  Will they be cancelled?  I’m keeping the faith.

16 Comments — Leave your comment

August 30, 2010 | 4:54 pm

Dancing With The Stars New Cast Break Down: Train Wrecks Guaranteed

Posted by Ilana Angel

It’s official!  We have a new cast for the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars.  It’s an interesting group.  Some people make perfect sense and have been a long time coming, while others are very confusing.  In most cases the stars are dancing with dancers, but in some instances, the dancers are more famous than the star.  Here is the breakdown, by age, with the youngest first and the most fabulous last!

Kyle Massey, 19 - He is cute and the teenyboppers will dig him. He is charming and funny so he’s got that going for him whether he can dance or not.  He is the token Disney Channel celebrity that the kids will know, and we will not pay much attention to.  He was a chubby kid, is a solid young man, and he is going out there to work up a sweat.  For that reason alone he is a role model and should be given a shot.

Bristol Palin, 20 - Oh.  My.  God.  I’m not sure why, but I can’t wait to see her give it a go.  You know Levi must have been praying that he would get her spot.  I’m very curious about her.  Will her parents show, does she have rhythm, what will her mother be wearing and how will she handle the hardly there costumes?  I’m pulling for you Bristol, even though I have no idea why and totally reserve the right to throw you under the bus later.

Audrina Patridge, 25 - This is the most disappointing selection in any and all seasons of DWTS.  This chick is “famous” for being on The Hills, but never really said anything. She is beyond skinny, so any weight she loses by dancing may kill her.  Let’s vote her off in the first round to a) save her life and b) send the message that not only do we not know who she is, but we don’t care.  She needs to eat a sandwich and get a real job, in that order.

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, 29 - This “kid” is going to be shirtless every single dance he does.  I say kid because that is the New Jersey lingo. That said, this “kid” is well into his thirties if you ask me.  He has the most magnificent body and is clearly the king of GTL.  The most disturbing thing about him being on this show, is that I’m excited.  I love this guy and want him to do well.  He will be sleeping with Cheryl by the end of week one.

Brandy Norwood, 31 - This chick is a has-been at 31, and I’m not sure it’s her turn to get a second shot.  From her secret marriage, hush, hush divorce, hit and run, and sex tape famous brother, there is nothing particularly appealing about her now. It’s not like when she was the young and insanely popular Moesha.  She was a hugely popular Cinderella for Disney, so let’s see what she’s got.  She could be a surprise talent.

Kurt Warner, 39 - The athlete.  He is cute, talented in his field, and I’m guessing, has no rhythm.  There is an athlete each year, so he will get the votes of all the husbands who are forced to watch by their wives in order to have peace at home.  He could surprise us all and stay for a while, but I’m thinking no.  He’s the all-American scandal free selection that the Bible belt and sports fanatics alike will love and vote through. 

Rick Fox, 41- More famous as an actor, and possibly an ex-husband, than a Laker, Rick is the dreamboat. This man is seriously attractive and his dancing is secondary to the fact that he will be a pleasure to watch.  He really is beautiful and my guess is between him and Warner, he’ll have the better moves.  Depending on the camera angles, and if he looks right in the lens and winks directly at every woman in America, could seal his fate.

Margaret Cho, 42 - She is funny and those of us who know her, like her.  The problem is that not a lot of people know her.  She’s big in the gay community so that will be a plus for her.  Not sure she can dance but she is definitely an underdog in terms of popularity, but at the top of the list in terms of likeability.  I hope she does well and I will certainly throw her a vote or two, good dancing or not.  She seems like a great girl.

Jennifer Grey, 50 - How many times per week will someone make a reference to Baby being the corner?  She is beautiful, does not look as old as she is, and is a sentimental favorite.  Dirty Dancing is iconic and I want to see Patrick Swayze’s wife in the audience, with her dad Joel, cheering her on.  I want very much for her to do well.  This is a career resurrection that is past due, and well deserved.

Michael Bolton, 57 - I like him.  I own his records, think his voice is sexy, and find him to be attractive.  I have also seen him in concert and while he can belt out a tune like no other, dancing is not a natural talent here.  He will stay in it as all us middle age women remember falling in love with him, but he will then go, perform a song on one of the results show, and give new life to his career.  I’m glad he’s here and we get to hear him sing.

David Hasselhoff, 58 - The reality television gods have shined down on all of us and delivered the greatest contestant in the history of reality television.  The Hoff.  He will be there, drunk off his ass, high as a kite, and I for one can’t wait.  I love, love, love this selection and I will vote for him each and every week just so he stays on.  He will deliver a train wreck of epic proportions so we can all just sit back and wait, because it’s a coming.

Florence Henderson, 76 - Put aside the fact that we all wanted her to be our mom, that she rocked a mullet, that she made out with her fake television son, and that she supported and loved a gay actor when it was not cool, give her props for being almost 80 and putting on her dance shoes.  I love her and you will not hear an unkind word from me about Ms. Henderson.  Love her. Wish her well.  End of story.

Some of these selections are embarrassing to what has become a beloved show.  There are elements of reality trash here that just don’t make sense.  It’s not enough to make us not watch, but it will quickly become a popularity contest, over one about talent as a dancer.  Perhaps a name change from Dancing With The Stars to Dancing With Celebrities and Wannabes would be in order.

Each time they announce a new cast we pick our favorites before the first show airs.  There are many I could care less about, but others I feel vested in before it’s even begun.  I will see you diehards back here each Monday night when we can recap, praise and rip apart the cast on this season of DWTS.  Good luck everyone.  I shall try to be kind.  No guarantees, so keep the faith.

2 Comments — Leave your comment

August 29, 2010 | 6:05 pm

Miracle On JDate - The Impossible Has Happened

Posted by Ilana Angel

After two months on JDate, I finally had a date.  To clarify, it was actually my third date since deciding to date exclusively on JDate for six months.  This is the first one however, that does not make me sick to talk about.  To review, I only date Jewish men, and so in an attempt to meet my Beshert, I decided to limit my online search to JDate.

So, I get an email last week from a gentleman who said he enjoyed my profile, to take a look at his, and if I thought he looked interesting, he would like to talk with me.  He was attractive, and his profile came across as normal.  If you’ve ever been on JDate, then you know normal is about the sexiest thing you can be online, and it’s very rare.

I emailed him back, sent my number, he called, we chatted a couple of times, and met for lunch on Sunday afternoon.  He was waiting for me outside the restaurant when I got there.  He looked just like his picture.  In fact, he was probably a little cuter than his pictures.  He was the height and age that was listed on his profile, which is unheard of.

We had a very nice lunch.  He was charming and funny.  We talked about our families, work, and Judaism.  We had enough in common for it to feel safe and comfortable, and subtle differences, which made him intriguing and made me want to know more.  He also happens to have the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen on a man.

You must sit down now because I am about to tell you something rather shocking.  There is an honest man on JDate.  I know, it sounds like I’m making it up, but it’s true.  It’s not an urban myth.  If there is one, we can assume that there are others.  They exist, and I have seen one.  They walk among us, and with a trained eye, we can learn to spot them easily.

It was a nice afternoon, and while it was not really a love connection, it was a great date.  We had good conversation, were kind and respectful to each other, had a few laughs, and left with a hug and a smile.  He will call, or he won’t, but either way it was a good date and I have not had one of those in a very long time.

Some dates leave you wishing you had not bothered to fix your hair.  You are sick from the moment he opens his mouth, and you pray there will be an earthquake so you can get out quickly.  Other dates leave you feeling hot and bothered and believing love at first sight is possible.  The very best dates however, are those that leave you keeping the faith.

11 Comments — Leave your comment

August 29, 2010 | 7:28 am

Happy Birthday Gilad Shalit

Posted by Ilana Angel

Yesterday was Gilad Shalit’s birthday.  He turned 24, and marked his birthday by spending his fourth year in captivity.  Can any of us wrap our heads around what four years feels like?  Look at the last four years of your lives, and think of ten memorable things that have happened.

Here are ten things from the last four years in my life:

1) My son became a Bar Mitzvah.
2) My son visited Israel.
3) My brother had a daughter.
4) My son started high school.
5) I started my own company.
6) I started writing my blog.
7) I moved into a new home.
8) I became a vegetarian.
9) I adopted two cats.
10) My heart was broken.

Without giving it much thought, these are the first ten things that came to my mind.  It would be impossible for me to list every notable thing that happened and not miss something.  Life is busy, stuff happens, and I would not have wanted to miss anything, good or bad.

Can you imagine what this boy and his family have missed?  Four years.  He has lost four years of his life and they have lost the ability to see their son for four years.  It is heartbreaking that this boy has been a hostage for so long.  It is time for him to come home.

When Gilad was captured, my son was 10.  He was going to Jewish Day School, and still scared of me enough that I could count to 10 and he would do what I said by the time I got to 3.  Today he is 14, his own person, and when I tell him I’m counting to 3, I get to 100 and finally give up.

Four years has transitioned my son from a little boy into a young man.  I have gone from barely being forty, to being quite settled in my mid forties.  My son and I are blessed to live a great life, and more importantly, to live it together.  My heart goes out to the Shalit family.

We must all keep Gilad in our prayers and hope that he comes home soon.  Treasure very moment you have with your family.  Write stuff down.  Remember even the smallest things that happen.  They matter. Love your kids, hold them close, and enjoy every day.

To Gilad, Happy Birthday.  We are here, and praying that you will be home soon.  We can’t imagine what four years feels like to you.  You are a remarkable young man and each and every day that passes, is filled with prayers.  Be strong and always keep the faith.

2 Comments — Leave your comment

August 28, 2010 | 10:17 am

Black, White, Gay, Straight, Jew, Gentile, Human - Remembering Emmett and Mamie Till

Posted by Ilana Angel

Emmett Till was a 14 year old African American boy from Chicago, whose mother sent him to Mississippi for the summer to visit his cousins.  One day he went to the grocery store to buy candy.  At the store, it was reported he whistled at a white woman.  Later that week, he was brutally murdered.  That was August 28, 1955.  Fifty-five years ago today.

My son is 14 years old.  He goes to the corner store all the time to buy a drink or ice cream with his friends.  This summer, I sent my son on his own to Michigan to spend two weeks at the lake with his best friend and his family.  In 1955, Emmett was having the same summer my son had this year.  My son came home.  Emmett lost his life.

The murder of Emmett Till is noted as one of the events that motivated the American Civil Rights Movement.  It was not only his murder that was shocking, it was also the incredible courage and grace of his mother Mamie.  Mamie insisted on a public funeral with an open casket.  She wanted to show the world what was done to her son, and what was happening in the south.

Mamie wanted people to see that her beloved Emmett was beaten and had one of his eyes gouged out.  He was then shot through the head, and thrown into the Tallahatchie River with a 70-pound cotton gin fan tied around his neck with barbed wire. His body was discovered and retrieved from the river three days later.  He was just a child.

Two men, one of which was the husband of the woman who Emmett whistled at, were acquitted of his murder by a jury of 12 white men.  They later admitted they murdered Emmitt to “make an example” out of him.  The murderers are both dead now, and were never punished for what they did to this boy.  They died proud of what they had done.

It is unfathomable that this could happen.  How far has the United States come in the last 55 years?  On October 21, 1998, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being gay.  On August 24, 2010, Ahmed Sharif was attacked in his New York City taxi for being a Muslim.  What is happening?  How is it possible that today, we are where we were?

I was blessed to meet Mamie Till.  When I worked at Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation, she came on a tour.  It was a weekend, and my son came with me to meet her.  He was about 3 years old.  Mamie was being pushed around in a wheelchair, and at one point my son told her he was tired and asked her if he could have a ride.

Mamie said of course and pulled my son up on her lap.  Once he was settled in, he turned to Mamie and asked her if she was made out of chocolate.  She laughed and stuck out her arm.  My son licked her and told her she tasted like chocolate.  He then put out his arm, she kissed it, and told him he tasted like vanilla.  They both laughed and my son hugged her.

It was a wonderful day.  I knew of Mamie’s story and was so honored to meet her.  I remember telling her I loved her.  As I look at my now 14 year old son, I love her even more.  Mamie was 33 when her baby was murdered.  I look at her strength and I am in awe of her in a way that I did not fully understand when I met her.

As parents it is our obligation to our children to share the story of Emmett and Mamie.  We must teach our children that more important than black, white, gay, straight, Jew, Gentile or Muslim, we are human beings.  If we cannot learn from the past, and not allow history to repeats itself, then what kind of parents are we?  The hate must stop.

Mamie’s autobiography is called Death of Innocence: The Story of the Hate Crime That Changed America.  I encourage you to learn about this remarkable woman.  I carry her love for Emmett in my heart.  I will teach my son about Emmett, and Matthew, and Ahmed.  I will raise my son to have an open heart so that he can change the world.

We must not allow Emmett or Matthew to have died in vain.  We must take what happened to them and fight, so that it never happens to another human being.  We are all the same.  Regardless of faith or color, we are at the core, all the same, and must treat each other with respect and compassion.  It may never happen, but it might, so I’m keeping the faith.

4 Comments — Leave your comment