November 13, 2011 | 2:55 am

Manny Pacquiao Wins Over Juan Manuel Marquez – But Did He Deserve It?

Posted by Ilana Angel

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I love Manny, and because of him I am falling in love with boxing.  He is a hero, an inspiration, and the welterweight champion.  I think he is divine and I will always be on his side, but the fight tonight was close. So close in fact, that one could argue the wrong decision was made.

Marquez did a great job and it was exciting to see the fight go 12 rounds.  I can only imagine how frustrated he was at the loss, but it’s a shame he stormed out of the ring when he heard the decision. It’s also sad that Marquez said he might retire after this fight because losing was so hard.

Both men were brilliant tonight and it was exciting.  I love Manny so I wanted him to win, but I don’t know enough about boxing to know if he earned the win.  If you look online, you will quickly see that most people think the win should have gone to Marquez.  Was he robbed of a win?

In the fifth round I thought Marquez was going to pull this out.  By the eighth round, I thought Manny would need a knock out to be able to win.  It was close to be sure, but even for a novice like me, I’m not sure it was called correctly. That said, it was a terrific fight and I am hooked.

Manny says he will give Marquez a rematch, but after three loses, all of which he thinks he should of won, I’m not sure Marquez will go for it.  It’s got to be hard to lose, but to feel like you’ve been robbed for the third straight time is brutal. Especially when you hear Manny say he earned it.

I don’t think there was any other choice but to give the win to Manny.  He is the most famous boxer in the world and until he gets in the ring with Mayweather, he is not losing his title.  It just won’t happen when there is so much on the line for boxing with a Manny vs. Floyd fight.

Had Pacquiao lost, the magic and excitement of a Mayweather fight would be gone.  It’s sad when you consider there is no Mayweather fight even scheduled. Anyone who fights Manny before Floyd is going to get screwed on some level because they will just be practice for the real fight.

These guys need to put all their crap slinging aside and set a date.  It’s not fair to the men who get in the with them, until they do.  I love Manny, but these guys are acting like chicks and need to settle the score already so everyone who loves this sport can move on and get some closure.

Marquez can be proud of what he did tonight.  He fought great and must not retire.  As for Manny, he is my favorite athlete and an incredible human being.  I am glad he won and can understand the decision to give it to him. Marquez needs to regroup, take Manny on again, and keep the faith.

November 11, 2011 | 1:39 am

Penn State: Where Football Trumps Rape - UPDATED

Posted by Ilana Angel

If my son were to win a full scholarship to Penn State, I would not want him to go.  I am so disgusted by what is happening there, that in reading all of the news stories, I find it hard to breathe.  How is it possible that a man was raping children, people knew, and yet nobody contacted the police?

How is it Mike McQueary was not fired along with Paterno?  He watched a young boy getting raped by an old man, and walked away.  He did not stop it when he had an opportunity.  He watched a child suffering, and chose to not interfere.  These men are evil and should be prosecuted, not just fired.

From my calculations, based on the current news stories, there were six men of power at Penn State who could have stopped what was happening with Sandusky, and not one of them called the police.  These are grown men, who knew of the vicious abuse, and made the choice to cover it up.  How is something like this even possible?  So many knew, but not one person called the police?

When I see articles asking about how the abuse at Penn State will affect football recruiting, or the football season, I feel sick to my stomach. Who cares?  This is not about football, this is about the raping of children. What does it say about our society that football is the story here?

Sandusky is being accused of raping 8 young boys.  Would the ridiculous rioters at Penn State feel differently if we were talking about their children?  I honestly cannot wrap my head around people putting the legacy of Penn State football ahead of the welfare of innocent children.

Every person who had knowledge of what was happening must be fired. If you think Sandusky raping kids is all that happened, you are in for a rude awakening.  I am certain those heinous acts are just the beginning of a bigger and darker nightmare that we cannot even imagine.

I do not know anything about college football, but that does not mean I do not understand the legacy of this institution and it’s coaching staff. I appreciate the history of Coach Paterno, but it does not matter. Mr. Paterno is nothing but a douchelord who allowed children to be harmed.

My heart breaks at the thought of the young kids who came into contact with Sandusky.  They were embraced by a man they loved, trusted, and idolized, and then he took advantage of them.  When Paterno, McQueary and the others said nothing, they participated in the raping of children.

I hope more firings are slated for Penn State in the coming days.  That it has taken so long is insane, but I will take it when it comes.  Someone needs to say enough, do what must be done, and make sure these children are valued more than a game of football.  They are owed that.

It would be great if Sandusky was sent to prison, and then raped. When McQueary has the crap beaten out of him, how will he feel when people watch and don’t help him?  Karma is floating over Penn State just waiting to rain down on these sick and twisted men.

As a mother, and a decent human being, this story makes me cry. To send your child somewhere you think is safe, only to have nobody protect them, is unbelievable.  To the victims, and to their families, you have my prayers and support.  Justice will come. Keep the faith.

UPDATE: Mike McQueary is in protective custody due to death threats, and was placed on administrative leave earlier today.  This bastard, who is the father of a young child, is on leave, having watched a boy getting raped, then turning his back and walking away.  How does that not get you fired?  The people handling this mess and screwed up.  Fire his ass already.

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November 10, 2011 | 3:28 am

A Single Mom Weekend Retreat of Faith, Friendship and Learning

Posted by Ilana Angel

I was recently contacted by the BAIS CHANA ORGANIZATION about a retreat they were having for single Jewish moms.  It’s a brilliant idea, and I was intrigued by what they were planning.  It is taking place this weekend in Minnesota, and I was honored they invited me, but was sadly unable to make the trip.  I did not want the weekend to pass however, without talking about this important organization and the special work they are doing.

Founded in 1971, Bais Chana has been in the forefront of Jewish women’s education, and continues to offer wonderful opportunities to women of all ages, level of religious observance, and personal finances.  The goal is to enlighten and empower Jewish women to be the best they can be.  Being a mom is hard, and being a single mom has it’s own challenges, so a retreat like this is important and needed on a lot of different levels.

I have been a single mother since my son was a baby and it’s been hard, but rewarding, and I would not change my decision to divorce when he was so young.  It’s certainly not how I envisioned my life, and I acknowledge the changes it has had on both my life and my son’s, but it is the life we have led, and while I’ve done a brilliant job raising this child, knowledge is power and a retreat like the one this weekend provides invaluable support.

The women this weekend will attend lectures that cover a wide range of topics from finances and faith, to dating and disappointment.  There is massive disappointment when you are a single mom.  I struggled with disappointment in my husband, my faith, and myself.  How was I so dumb? How could my husband put me in this position?  How would I handle it all and stay true to my Jewish values?  All of that will be covered this weekend.

I look forward to hearing about the retreat, and hope to speak with women who are attending, so I can share some of what they learned with all of you. No single mother should feel alone.  There are places like Bais Chana available to help, guide and embrace you.  Check them out, and if you need help, get in touch with me and I can help you find support where you are. Single or not, kids are blessings and you are heroes, so keep the faith.

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November 9, 2011 | 12:33 am

Dating Fact: Dating Sucks

Posted by Ilana Angel

No matter how old you are, dating is hard.  I have been dating a long time and still have no idea what I’m doing.  Well I know what I’m doing, it’s the men I’m dating that leave me confused.  It’s a shame it needs to be so difficult.  One would hope the search for love, friendship, sex, or whatever, would be more fun than stressful.

I have been dating Sparky for a few weeks.  We speak everyday, text several times a day, and our time together is fun and comfortable. He is the first man I’ve dated that embraced my blog.  He is not afraid of it, enjoys it, and supports being in it, as he knows people have been following my dating life and want to know how it’s going.

The best part of dating Sparky is that there are no expectations.  We have certainly been clear about what we are both looking for, but there is no timeline. No commitment, exclusivity, sex, pressure, or deception.  We are simply two grown ups, who are dating, building a friendship, laughing, flirting, making out, and enjoying each other.

It all sounds great right?  Exactly how dating should be, right?  Not so much.  After 3 weeks of constant communication, I stopped hearing from Sparky.  We went out to dinner and a movie on Friday night, and that was it. He vanished.  There was a quick phone call Saturday to say he liked my blog, then he said he’d call me later, and nothing.

The whole thing confused me, then I spoke to Sparky today, and now I am just sad.  Sparky said he thought he needed to back off, and we should just be friends.  The thing is, I thought we were just being friends.  I approached my time with him quite differently from how I typically date.  I was just hanging out, and it was really lovely to not have the pressure.

I enjoyed his personality from our first conversation. He made me laugh, and think.  He challenged, respected, and inspired me.  I truly thought we were friends, yet my friend did not think enough of me to call and let me know he was feeling weird or uncomfortable.  Instead, he opted to ignore me, and only reached out after I got in touch with him.

His change of direction could have been for a lot of reasons.  Maybe he was just not that into me, maybe he was dating other people and felt more compatible with someone else, or maybe he just wants to play around.  I have no idea, because he didn’t tell me.  All he said was he wanted to just be friends, and he said it after be behaved nothing like a friend.

I felt sorry for Sparky on the phone, he was clearly struggling, and referred to himself as “clumsy”, which he was.  I tried to listen and be kind, but in the end I told him I did not want to be his friend.  Then for reasons I cannot explain, and am mortified to share, I felt my chin quivering, and with tears about to fall, I abruptly ended the call.  It was horrible.

I could say he is making a mistake by jumping ship before we even knew what direction we were going in, but in the end it doesn’t matter.  At this stage of my life, clear on what both my goals and fears are, if he’s not into it, then he’s not into it.  I can’t help but be disappointed though, because I enjoyed the thought that maybe it could be something.

It was only three weeks, and nothing ventured, nothing gained.  I went in with no expectations, so I’m not heartbroken.  I am sad though.  Sad that when my new friend needed me to be kind, I was not.  Sad that I could not handle a situation I am familiar with better than Sparky did, since it’s a situation that is new to him.  Sad it is over before it began.

I have a date this weekend.  I had this date set up before Sparky decided to kick me to the friend zone.  By friend zone of course I mean the zone where you are unfriendly but say you want to be friends.  I made the date because I thought Sparky and I were just dating, so the plans were to protect myself from jumping in too fast.

Sparky asked me if we could be friends, which is silly.  Of course we can be friends.  I would not date someone I didn’t want to be friends with. Hopefully I will learn something from this, although I’m not sure what.  I hope Sparky learns that communication matters, and his news didn’t hurt my feelings, but the time it took him to share, did.

To be clear, I am annoyed.  I think Sparky was a coward and a schmuck in the way he handled this.  I was nothing but kind and open with him, and I deserved better.  Men need to grow up and realize that their behaving badly is not okay. Pointing blame is not necessary because it’s ultimately not a big deal in grand scheme of things, but if you insist, this one is on Sparky.

Dating is not my favorite thing, but I will continue to do it.  I’m not in a rush, which makes it less painful.  At the end of the day it’s hard for all of us, and I imagine for a man who has been married for over 20 years, and is starting over, it’s a little harder.  To my friend Sparky, be kind to yourself and to others. Don’t be afraid, and always keep the faith.

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November 8, 2011 | 6:43 pm

Does the Lord really want the Duggars to have 20 kids? UPDATE

Posted by Ilana Angel

Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar announced today that she is pregnant with their 20th child.  I am the same age as Michelle and I simply cannot wrap my head around 20 kids.  I have one son, and while I would have loved more, I am blessed with this one, and by blessed of course I mean exhausted.

Michelle said she would have as many kids as the Lord saw fit to give her. Really?  Does God really want her to have another child?  One could also argue that God wanted someone to invent birth control.  I love faith and admire those who have such conviction, but this woman has lost her mind.

I’m also sure she has lost the original shape of her lady parts.  Can you imagine what that situation is after 20 kids?  Come on.  Her last child was born very early and suffers complications, so what is she thinking?  If she feels the need to please the Lord, why not adopt a child in need of love?

They seem like a lovely family, but this feels wrong to me.  I appreciate they take care of their own, are not on welfare, and seem to be a loving group, but on behalf of the Lord, who I have a tight relationship with, and her vagina, which I am sure is scared, close the factory.

Their oldest son has two kids so this baby will be younger than their niece or nephew.  I cannot believe the other kids are excited either.  The older kids are doing a lot of the work and that is sad to me.  Instead of completing the will of the Lord, stop having babies and just keep the faith.

On December 8th, Michelle Duggar suffered a miscarriage and lost the baby.  May God Bless her and her family during this sad time.

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November 8, 2011 | 12:50 am

What is Wrong With Brett Ratner? - UPDATED

Posted by Ilana Angel

Brett Ratner has all the qualities in a man that should make a woman run in the other direction.  According to several reports, including here at The Jewish Journal, he has a massive ego, a small penis, and no respect for women.  He also likes to throw out gay slurs.  He is a Jew, so maybe the tribe will be spared ignorance from a man who is equal parts putz and genius.

This week, at a screening of his film The Heist in Hollywood, he used an offensive word when talking about the making of his movie.  It was stupid, thoughtless, careless, ignorant, and unacceptable.  There is simply no excuse for this behavior and the only thing lamer than what he said, was his apology. It reeked of insincerity, and he is clearly not an actor for a reason.

On his saying, “rehearsal is for fags”, Ratner apologized with, “I apologize for any offense my remarks caused. It was a dumb way of expressing myself. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body. But as a storyteller I should have been much more thoughtful about the power of language and my choice of words.”

In what should be a great time for Brett, things seem to be crumbling a little bit.  In addition to unacceptable language, he also confessed to being a chapter in Olivia Munn’s book as the unnamed director with the “undersized manhood”.  He managed to acknowledge it was him, yet put the blame on her.  She was scorned and bitter, so she made something up.

Brett Ratner is a bit of a schmuck, and at 5’8”, a little on the short side.  He has a reputation of being rude, obnoxious and narcissistic. The thing is, I think he is great looking, and enough of a good guy that he qualifies as one of the bad boys that women think they can fix.  If only he loved me he would never say anything dumb, respect me, and all women. You know the type.

Ratner is his own worst enemy. He is talented and adorable, but keeps putting his feet in his mouth.  He is not invincible, and needs a reality check if he thinks saying sorry will make it all better.  He might want to Google “Mel Gibson” so he can see how quickly one can go from top to bottom with just a few words.  Being Brett Ratner is not that big of a deal.

I don’t care about who he has slept with, and have no interest in the size of his penis.  I think Brett Ratner is a talented director and deep down probably a great guy.  With so much to lose, I hope he can learn from this unfortunate week and get himself together.  Maybe start with a large donation to GLAAD, and a real apology to Olivia Munn.

If I were younger I would want to date Brett Ratner.  At this point I just want to make him a home cooked meal and lecture him about the fact that he is a role model to a lot of kids, and he needs to knock it off and think about someone other than himself.  I wish Mr. Ratner good luck, and hope this is a stumble not a fall.  My advice to Brett?  Stop talking, and keep the faith.

UPDATE:  Mr. Ratner resigned as producer of the Oscars today.  I feel sad for him that this has happened, but respect both his choice to step down, and his letter.  He is a good guy, a bad boy, and I think I may be in love with him.  See his letter below.

Dear Colleagues,

Over the last few days, I’ve gotten a well-deserved earful from many of the people I admire most in this industry expressing their outrage and disappointment over the hurtful and stupid things I said in a number of recent media appearances. To them, and to everyone I’ve hurt and offended, I’d like to apologize publicly and unreservedly.

As difficult as the last few days have been for me, they cannot compare to the experience of any young man or woman who has been the target of offensive slurs or derogatory comments. And they pale in comparison to what any gay, lesbian, or transgender individual must deal with as they confront the many inequalities that continue to plague our world.

So many artists and craftspeople in our business are members of the LGBT community, and it pains me deeply that I may have hurt them. I should have known this all along, but at least I know it now: words do matter. Having love in your heart doesn’t count for much if what comes out of your mouth is ugly and bigoted. With this in mind, and to all those who understandably feel that apologies are not enough, please know that I will be taking real action over the coming weeks and months in an effort to do everything I can both professionally and personally to help stamp out the kind of thoughtless bigotry I’ve so foolishly perpetuated.

As a first step, I called Tom Sherak this morning and resigned as a producer of the 84th Academy Awards telecast. Being asked to help put on the Oscar show was the proudest moment of my career. But as painful as this may be for me, it would be worse if my association with the show were to be a distraction from the Academy and the high ideals it represents.

I am grateful to GLAAD for engaging me in a dialogue about what we can do together to increase awareness of the important and troubling issues this episode has raised and I look forward to working with them. I am incredibly lucky to have a career in this business that I love with all of my heart and to be able to work alongside so many of my heroes. I deeply regret my actions and I am determined to learn from this experience.

Sincerely, Brett Ratner

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November 5, 2011 | 1:07 pm

The Joy and Fear of Dating When You Have a Blog About Dating

Posted by Ilana Angel

I don’t like dating.  I do it because I am looking for someone to share my life with, not because I think it is fun.  Each first date is stressful.  Will I like him?  Will he like me?  Will I be safe?  Will this be a disaster, or the last first date that I ever have to go on?  Dating is more pain than pleasure.

I am a much different dater at 45, than I was at 25.  I don’t date from a place of fear that I won’t get married or have a child.  I was married, and am blessed to be a mother, so now my dating is for me.  Not because I want a husband or a child, just because I want someone wonderful in my life.

I only date Jewish men.  This has been both applauded and ridiculed by my readers, as well as my family and friends.  The general feeling is I restrict myself because statistically the chances of my meeting a Jewish man that is not either 30 or 70, are slim to none, so I should venture outside my faith.

My dating a non-Jew will simply never happen.  I have a lot of reasons for dating only Jewish men, and those reasons are never going to change, so I am searching for a Jewish man and I believe I will meet him one day.  He will be kind, smart, open and funny.  He will think I am kind, smart, open and funny.  He exists.

Last night I had my third date with Sparky.  We went out for dinner and a movie.  I had been battling allergies all day and thought I might not be able to go.  I did not want to cancel, so I went to the doctor to make sure it was allergies and not my getting a cold.  It was allergies.

Sparky was late for our first two dates.  I am mortified to say I was late for our date last night. Not by a couple of minutes either.  I was 15 minutes late with no excuse.  I simply left home late and Sparky was waiting for me when I got there.  He never said a word about my being tardy.

Sparky is a lovely, sweet man.  There is a kindness that I find very attractive.  He’s no pushover, has clearly defined opinions, and is definitely in charge, but when it comes to me, he is gentle and supportive.  I feel heard and respected by him and that is interesting after just three dates.

Three dates in three weeks, and we have spoken everyday since date one.  This is a really good guy.  He is a wonderful father, a successful professional, and a devoted friend.  We are getting to know each other, and it’s slow and steady.  He is my friend, which is a lovely place to start.

For the first time in a long time I want to invest time and energy into a relationship.  I want to learn about him and meet each other’s children. I want to share.  By share of course I mean everywhere but here.  I don’t want to blog every moment and experience I have with Sparky.

This is a blog about my life, so of course he will be mentioned, but until I am clear on what our relationship is, I am going to leave Sparky out of it.  I love that he is not intimidated by the blog, but at the same time I don’t want him to be reserved because of what might end up in the blog.

I don’t know what will happen, but I am hoping it’s something.  If my choice to let us find our way without it being public, makes getting to a place of something easier or quicker, then so be it.  I have met someone special in Sparky.  Fabulous, Jewish, and age appropriate Sparky.

We could have one more date, or get married, and the lesson would be the same.  There are lovely and available Jewish men.  The important thing to remember when dating is that anything is possible, first dates matter, and when searching for love, you must keep the faith.

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November 4, 2011 | 8:36 am

The Madoff Family Continues Their Deception

Posted by Ilana Angel

I certainly feel sorry for Ruth Madoff that she lost her son Mark, but with that said, I think his blood is all over her hands.  As I sat watching her, and her other son Andrew on 60 Minutes, I found myself getting angry.  I did not believe what either one of them said.  Something is just not right there.

Ruth is very little, and sounds like she smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day. She is very frail looking, and incredibly dumb if she thinks I believe her. Andrew is in need of a haircut, and is void of any emotion in his voice.  If the goal was sympathy and understanding, this interview didn’t quite cut it.

One could argue that Andrew was in shock, but it’s been three years.  If he and his brother were in the same business as their dad, I find it hard to believe that they knew nothing.  I’m not saying they were involved, but it seems unlikely to me they could not have known something was up.

I don’t understand why Katherine Hooper, Andrew’s fiance, is profiting from the book they were hocking. This is not about wanting to explain themselves, but about making money.  Hooper is marrying Andrew so there is no way he will not profit.

If they want us to take them seriously in terms of their not knowing anything, why not donate ALL proceeds from the book?  It makes no sense that she would profit.  He is going to be her husband, and so he will make money.  It just feels dirty, and a continuation of the scheming.

I don’t know anything about stock trading, but I know what a Ponzi scheme is.  How could Ruth be married to Bernie for so long, have two sons in the same industry, and when he tells her what he has done, she asks what a Ponzi scheme is?  Come on Ruth.  It just does not make any sense.

Ruth says she cannot remember the day Bernie told them what he had done, and she also tells us she did not understand what was happening.  It’s a complete crock of crap.  Anyone in this family, with or without the Madoff name, is lying on some level.  Some big, some little, but all liars.

Is it possible that Bernie could have told his family what was happening in the afternoon, and the very next morning at 7:00 am he is arrested?  Is there not some investigating that would require more than a few hours before an arrest was made?  Am I the only one that thinks that is odd?

What if it was just two disgruntled kids?  Would an arrest happen so quickly?  If Ruth was confused and not sure what was going on, why did she get jewelry out of her house by mailing it to her kids?  Ruth is as much of a liar as her husband, the only difference is that she is dumb.

I think the arrest was planned long in advance and there was some kind of deal for Andrew and Mark to get off if they cooperated in getting their dad arrested.  The government figured with the boys “turning” on their dad, it would be an easy conviction and they would be spared.

The twist came when nobody believed they were not involved.  Did Mark and Andrew actually think we would accept they had no role in what Bernie was doing, and embrace them for being duped by their dad?  Was sympathy expected?  Were these two men as stupid as their mom?

Mark Madoff killed himself, and that is tragic.  Regardless of what he did or did not know, and he was unable to handle the pressure.  His wife would like us to think it was the pressure of being associated with his father, but I think it was the pressure of being just like his father.

She has also written a book.  Why does she get to make money?  Why does anyone associated with this story get to make money?  It is disgusting to me to see her on talk shows peddling her book, when she should not be making a single penny from the Madoff story.  It’s just not right.

Bernie says he is happy in prison.  He ruins lives and gets to live out the rest of his days with ease and comfort.  Ruth says she no longer talks to Bernie, but there is no way in hell that is true.  I’m not buying that they are not in communication.  She chose him over her kids, so she is not done.

A woman who can say that learning of her husband having an affair was more painful than the death of her child, does not just stop talking to a man she has known and loved for 50 years.  Ruth Madoff should be in prison, as should her son Andrew.  These people are a disgrace.

I am fascinated by this story, but I am not going to read any of the books that are written by anyone in this family.  Those books are a slap in the face to every person who lost money because of this family, and I do not feel sorry for the Madoff family, any of them, in any way.

This story must be told, but it’s the stories of the victims that are of importance here.  People need to understand the extent of damage that this family did, so they can see there should be no sympathy. Not the wealthy people who lost money, but the everyday people.

This is not just about rich people who got screwed.  If you’re a multi-millionaire and you lose a million, life does not crumble.  If you are teacher however, and you lose your retirement, it is devastating. My compassion goes to those victims.  Justice will come, so keep the faith.

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