Posted by Ilana Angel
I have a great kid. He is perfection and I seriously love him. He was a fabulous baby, divine toddler, fantastic tween, and is a wonderful teenager. We are very close and when it comes to sex, he comes to me to talk about it. When he was younger and had questions, I suggested he talk to his dad as I thought he might be more comfortable. He said he would rather talk to me, and so began our open dialogue about sex.
I am raising this young man to respect women, respect himself, and not be afraid of sex. He appreciates how important it is, and I am teaching him to also respect the emotions that come with it. His questions have been insightful and I’ve learned a lot about who he is as a human being by what he wants to talk about. There are certainly cringe worthy moments, for me not him, but we are navigating through it all.
My son is a really funny guy. He has a spontaneous, witty, charming, and fearless sense of humor. If you asked him what one of his favorite things to do is, he will tell you it’s to make me laugh. Ever since he was little, when I would laugh, he would say it was his favorite sound. He makes me laugh all the time, which is a gift for both of us. I get to laugh, and he gets his favorite sound. He is a great kid.
His new favorite thing is to ask me to get him condoms. He thinks the twitch I get in my eye at the thought of my little baby needing to buy condoms, is hysterical. He is not having sex, but the thought of that ever happening is too much for my heart and mind to handle, and the result in talking about it, is that my eye twitches which makes him laugh, which in turn makes me laugh, which is hilarious.
People have often stared at us while we walk down the aisles of the drug store with my twitching eye, and him laughing. We are very entertaining, even if it’s only to each other. I remember every single moment of my life since he was born and I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. Jumping from that to condoms is simply too much for me to bear. Thank goodness I look cute with a twitch.
Today marks one week that my son has been on the east coast for summer vacation. He is with his best friend and his grandmother, having a fabulous time. He knows I miss him and am using all my energy to not call him every second of every day. He texts on occasion, we talk on the phone, and iChat, but it’s been hard for me. I miss him very much and I am counting the days until he is home. By days of course I mean seconds.
I called my boy today to see how he was and discuss his school schedule, which arrived in the mail. We chatted about his day, he asked about his cats, I asked him how he was doing with money, he told me he was doing good because when he bought condoms they were on sale. He waited three seconds and then asked me if my eye was twitching. It was and we both started laughing. Good to know the twitch works long distance!
I know my baby is growing up. I know he is just kidding about the condoms. I know one day he will not be kidding about the condoms. I am grateful to have a child who is able to be open with me so we can both learn, grow, and not be afraid to share. I know I will make it though this important time in his life if I remember to laugh, embrace the glory that is a gin gimlet, rock the twitch, and always keep the faith.
5.24.13 at 7:07 am | Burning myself has shown me I am burning out.
5.23.13 at 3:17 pm | Dating, divorce, death, and marriage, all require. . .
5.22.13 at 6:34 am | I am forever touched by this young man.
5.19.13 at 5:43 pm | JDate should be more of a mensch.
5.17.13 at 5:27 pm | I am never going on another coffee date.
5.14.13 at 4:36 pm | Love needs a kick in the ass.
5.17.13 at 5:27 pm | I am never going on another coffee date. (395)
5.14.13 at 4:36 pm | Love needs a kick in the ass. (349)
5.19.13 at 5:43 pm | JDate should be more of a mensch. (335)
July 6, 2011 | 12:33 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am saddened by the Casey Anthony verdict. I believe now, as I always have, that she killed her little girl. A mother does not wait 31 days to report her child missing, and not have a hand in what happened to her. Caylee Anthony was murdered by her mother and this verdict will not convince me otherwise.
It is so sad that this child has been disrespected in such a way. She was killed and left alone in the woods for months. When will she be remembered and given justice? I thought the OJ Simpson trial in 1995 was the jury system at it’s worst, yet here I am, again wondering what has happened.
It was attorney Robert Kardashian who helped free OJ SImpson after he murdered two people, and today his daughter Kim commented on the verdict by tweeting, “WHAT!!!!???!!!! CASEY ANTHONY FOUND NOT GUILTY!!!!! I am speechless!!!”
Why does ANYONE care about what she says, when all she does is make sex tapes and seek fame for no apparent reason, with no apparent talent? I wonder if she is as shocked today as the families of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman were when her father helped free their killer.
I cried when OJ Simpson was found not guilty. I was pregnant with my son and the pain of Ron Goldman’s family was suffocating to me. Fifteen years later I still don’t understand how that verdict was reached. The verdict today has left me feeling the same shock and crying once again.
I think Kim Kardashian’s opinion on this case, and anything else for that matter, is irrelevant. I would be more interested to hear her comment on the OJ Simpson case and how he was acquitted of brutally killing two innocent people with the help of her father.
I will keep Caylee in my prayers and hope the truth comes out at some point so she can rest in peace. God Bless Caylee. We must honor all children who have been harmed because they matter. Although difficult on a day like this, we must remember to keep the faith.
UPDATE: Casey Anthony was sentenced to 4 years in prison, less time served, and a $4000.00 fine. She will be free on Sunday, July 17th. She killed her little girl and now gets to celebrate that she got away with it. There is no justice for Caylee.
July 4, 2011 | 11:54 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I spent most of my weekend at home. I cleaned, read, and spent time missing my son. I decided to allow myself the weekend to be a little sad he was away for so long, with the intention of snapping out of it on Tuesday morning. My friend Tammy decided wallowing until Tuesday was too long.
She invited me to an impromptu party at her house. I was trying to figure out a way to blow it off when she let me know I was not allowed to blow it off, and insisted I come over for some libations, good food, and friends. So I dragged myself out of bed, picked up some pie, and headed over there.
It was lovely. I hung out with great people, had yummy food, and delicious banana and pineapple margaritas. I had intended on staying for an hour and ended up staying for almost 4. It was a great afternoon. I enjoyed myself and was so happy that Tammy pushed me to go.
I headed home and though I did not take the freeway, I drove under it. At the off ramp was a homeless man with a sign that read, “Happy 4th of July. It was my pleasure to serve this country.” It was a green light and as I drove past him, I immediately regretted not stopping.
In a split second I decided I would buy him something. I drove to the grocery store praying he would be there when I got back. I bought a roasted chicken, some chips, fruit, vegetables, water, gum, and sunflower seeds. Not sure why I got those items, but that’s what I got.
I headed back to the freeway and parked my car at the gas station. I walked over and asked him if he would like some food. He said he would be very grateful so we went to the car and I gave him the groceries. He was touched and told me that he appreciated my generosity.
We chatted as he ate some chicken. I told him I was a writer and asked if I could write about our meeting and he graciously gave me permission. He said to call him “John” as that was his dad’s name and he thought his dad would like that. He has not seen his father in 22 years.
John told me about his life, his service, his family, and his life now. I planned to share some his stories but I’ve decided against it. Where he has been, and where he is now, are not as important as who he is as a human being. He is a kind a decent man who hit hard times.
He has served our country. He put on a uniform and fought for us to be able to celebrate this holiday. The story is not that he fought for us, but rather that we do not fight for him. No man or woman who has served in the armed forces for this country should ever be living on the street.
John is a great man. Today, though homeless, he is still a great man. He is kind, funny, charming and wise. He is a proud soldier and a proud American. Even though he needs a shower and a shave, he was the best date I’ve had in a long time. We talked about a lot of things.
The 4th of July is about more than fireworks and bar-b-que. It’s about celebrating the birthday of our country and our country would ne not what it is today where it not for those who fight on our behalf to secure our freedom. I had dinner tonight with an American hero, and it was great.
If you see military personnel in uniform, say thank you. If you see a homeless person asking for money, give them some. We don’t know how people get to that place, and in the end it’s none of our business. Just help. We are all human beings, and must be decent to one another.
It was a pleasure to spend time with John. I was not afraid of him because his sign showed his heart, and his heart is kind. I wish this very special man health, joy, and safety. To his father, know that you raised a good boy, who today reminded a stranger to always keep the faith.
July 3, 2011 | 9:42 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Happy July 4th! I feel very blessed to be living in the United States. I am sending my very best wishes for health and happiness to all the troops who are serving here, and overseas. The sacrifices they make are immeasurable, and my gratitude is boundless.
This year’s Independence Day is interesting for me. I am feeling sad that my son is so far away. I love him, and my life is defined by being his mother, so if he is not here, then what am I? I’m feeling a little lost and at the same time it’s also quite liberating.
The first day he was away I almost called his friends to see if they needed a ride somewhere. I went in his room looking for laundry, and for the first time was disappointed I did not find any. I am wondering around my house not sure what to do.
I have a full life. I love my work, my friends and my family. I am many things in addition to being a mother, but that is the single most important job I have in terms of both the work, and the satisfaction. I have raised a remarkable young man and it makes sense I would miss him.
My friends tell me I need to have fun and embrace the time he is away, which I understand, but I’m just not sure how to go about it. I would rather hang out with him than anyone else. We spend a lot of time together so it’s odd to do things, or even plan things, without him.
I am not calling him every five minutes, even though I want to hear every detail about every second of his day. Instead, I am trying to let him have his time. I text on occasion, and sit by the computer on the off chance he wants to iChat. Which we have done, and is wonderful.
Our cat Fiddles looks for him, which is so sweet. She sleeps in his room and when I walk in she looks up to see if it’s him, and when it’s not, she goes back to sleep. When I am in bed she will go into his room, look around, then settle on me as her second choice. It’s all rather dramatic.
She will jump on my bed, give me a look that says, “Where is he?”, then collapse as if exhausted from searching for him. When we talked on iChat yesterday I showed him to her and she stared. This morning I found her sitting on the computer chair waiting for him to appear.
I am going to take care of myself over the next few weeks. It’s not about an independence day, as much as an independence month. I will see my friends, go on dates, and take lots of yoga. I will enjoy not having to do any schlepping, or massive amounts of laundry.
I miss my son so much it hurts. I am counting down the days until he comes home. I am going to be a grown up and embrace my independence, while also being a crying mess waiting for my baby to come home. It just might take me a minute to find a balance between the two.
I wish you a wonderful holiday. Say a prayer for the troops and be kind to a stranger. To my beautiful boy, enjoy your vacation and build memories to last a lifetime. I am blessed to be a mom, and to live in America. Will I survive my temporarily empty nest? I’m keeping the faith.