Posted by Ilana Angel
My son has his dad in his life, but I am a still a single mom. I am his primary caregiver and sadly have no relationship with his father. We parent very differently. I am a full time mom and when it comes to raising my son, I’m pretty much on my own.
I am the one who gets him up at 5:30 every morning, drives him to the bus at 6:20, picks him up at 5:30 each night, makes dinner, oversees homework, listens to problems, supports dreams, eases pain, eases fear, and reminds him everyday that he is special and has value.
My son and I are close. We are honest with each other and rely on each other a lot. While we are certainly friends, I am the mother/grown up and he is the son/child. I love him, trust him, and am very lucky he is a good kid. The thing is, he is also a teenager. Oy vey.
Teenage boys are tough. I’m sure mothers of teenage girls would argue girls are harder and I would agree, but still, boys are hard. There are hormones raging and attention spans shortening. We watch helplessly as our delicious boys turn into men right before our eyes.
Last summer my son spent a couple of weeks of vacation in Michigan. His best pal is from there and his grandma has a fabulous house, in a fabulous town, where summer is a flashback to another time. Our plan for the past year was for him to go back this summer for a month.
For the past few months, every time I asked my son about his homework he said it was good. Is it done? Yes. Do you need help? Got it covered. Need to print anything? Did it at school. Is everything handed in? Yup. Do you have anything that you need me to check? Nope.
Imagine my surprise when I found out my son has 8 missing homework assignments and his grades are feeling the effects of his not handing stuff in. He has been “bending the truth”, which he assures me, “is not lying”. I trusted him and he was not honest.
Nobody got hurt, he is not failing, but he lied. It could be worse of course. I am blessed he is a great boy and I don’t worry about drinking, driving, or drugs. I’m lucky that I have such a good kid, but at the end of the day he lied, has hurt my feelings, and pissed me off.
My initial reaction was to not allow him to go to Michigan. There have to be repercussions for his choices and if I cancel the trip maybe he will think twice about lying to me, spend more time focusing on his schoolwork, and not take the whole thing so lightly.
I asked him if he thought he should still go and he was annoyed as hell. He thinks the punishment of pulling the trip does not fit the crime and believes he should go. It’s good that he is sweating this one a little bit and I thoroughly enjoyed his let me go speech over a glass of wine.
I am making him complete all the work he did not hand in on time. Should I cancel his trip to Michigan? I will think about it over a few more glasses during the last couple of weeks of school. He still has time to salvage the situation so we’ll see what happens.
I am not innocent in the situation. I believed what he told me and should have pushed a little more to see what was happening. The thing is, when you are the primary parent, and you send your kid back and forth to another home, and the other home is different, you bend a little.
I overcompensate in my home for things that may be lacking in the other one, and that’s not always good. Perhaps I was too trusting with the homework situation. I would like to think it’s not about my kid lying to me, as much as it is just about a teenager in high school.
He didn’t do his homework and said he did. Not a big deal. But 8 times is a big deal. I spoke with all his teachers, who are wonderful and dedicated, and he is on track to get it all completed and handed in before the year ends. He’ll get partial credit and no damage is done.
I want to be the tough one who is going to say, “don’t screw with me”, but in the end that’s not really me. I’m more of a, “I love you, you made a mistake, don’t do it again, learn from this experience”, kind of mom. Of course there is some yelling thrown in for good measure.
In the end of course he will go to Michigan. I know it and he knows it. I’m his mom and I don’t want to hurt him. I just wish I could be sure a bigger lesson was learned. I have to trust he gets it, know I am doing a good job, and understand this is life with a teenager.
If anyone has any similar stories, please share. I love this kid and I don’t want to change who I am as a mom, but still stand firm. Maybe his being sorry is enough. Maybe all I need is a bottle of wine, a few deep breathes, and the ability to not take it all so seriously.
My friends are telling me his trip to Michigan will be a vacation for me too. No waking up early, no massive amounts of laundry, dishes, or schlepping him everywhere. The truth is I will miss him so much it will hurt. Lord give me strength, so I can keep the faith.
12.12.13 at 8:05 am | Well played my son. Well played.
12.11.13 at 6:58 am | I watch in awe and stare with envy at these. . .
12.5.13 at 3:16 pm | Heaven has received a blessing today.
12.3.13 at 3:05 pm | Every time I go into the kitchen I half expect to. . .
11.30.13 at 10:42 am | "The only correct actions are those that demand. . .
11.29.13 at 1:56 pm | My nest will never empty as my son will always be. . .
9.15.13 at 3:14 pm | I love you Russell Brand. (471)
12.12.13 at 8:05 am | Well played my son. Well played. (383)
12.11.13 at 6:58 am | I watch in awe and stare with envy at these. . . (320)
June 1, 2011 | 11:29 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Do you honestly think you can get out of this mess? You told the press that you cannot say “with certitude” that the graphic picture of your package was actually you. Seriously? Do you own underwear like that Tony? Are you unfamiliar with the shape of your penis? It’s not a line up honey, it’s just you.
Are we to believe your Twitter account was hacked and a picture of you in your underwear, which could or could not be you, was sent to a random 21 year old college student in Seattle, and the security firm you hired to investigate is not being paid by you to give a very specific answer to what happened?
Did you think your attempt at humor by telling reporters you were a little “stiff” was going to translate as charming? When you said, “I was the victim of a prank.”, did you really think we believed you? Are you are the one politician who is not going to get caught being a pig? Good luck with that.
When you told the media, “This is not a national security matter. We are not making a federal case out of this and I don’t think anyone else should.”, know that I laughed out loud because in looking at the picture, I can assure you that it truly is a small matter that needs to be addressed.
Did you really have the balls to say the young woman who got the picture just decided to randomly follow you on Twitter? Obviously you have taken some pictures in your underwear if you are unsure it is you. Don’t you think it’s time you just fessed up and called it a day? We’re laughing at you sweetie. Not cute.
You went on to say, “We don’t know where the photograph came from. We don’t know for sure what’s on it, we don’t know for sure if its been manipulated, if it was taken out of one place and dropped in something else. And I’m going to let this firm try to get to the bottom of all that.” Do you not have anyone in your life to let you know that you are making a fool of yourself?
The good news is that you are young and people will forget about this stumble quickly. You may lose your political career, but don’t worry because you will be able to find another job and there are a lot of other options. Underwear model and porn star offers are going to start flooding in any day now. You could have your own reality television show by summer.
Your story is hilarious, and by hilarious of course I mean pathetic. You got caught, and denying is making it both awkward and embarrassing. End the farce so we can focus on real political stories like why Sarah Palin eats pizza with fork. Say you’re sorry, beg your family for forgiveness, go on the Daily Show to take it like a man, and start keeping the faith.
*Important to note, many people respect you and your political career as you have been a fierce advocate for the disenfranchised. If you are telling the truth, and it was a hacking of your account, I will be the first to apologize and post a retraction. I have the apology ready, but don’t think I’ll ever use it.
June 1, 2011 | 7:15 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Donald Trump and Sarah Palin met at Trump’s apartment for a private meeting, and then hopped in his limo to go grab a slice of pizza. Who are they kidding? Are we supposed to believe that they all gathered around the gold leafed table and decided go grab a slice? Then they make the unbelievable laughable, when they eat their pizza with a knife and fork. It just doesn’t taste good that way. Come on Donald, you’re a New Yorker!
It was staged and lame and a missed opportunity for us to view them as serious. I think a Palin/Trump ticket would be awesome. I have met both Sarah Palin and Donald Trump, and think what you want about these people, they are electric separately and I imagine could be magic together. People may not care if they run together but I can guarantee you they would pay attention. It could be a train wreck or a rocket ship.
I’m not voting in the election as I’m not an American, but I will, as I always have, volunteer my time to the candidates I support. I am liberal in most of my views, but conservative in others. I am also sick and tired of people towing the party line and caring more about what they are told to care about by their party, over what they believe in and know is best for the country. I guess that technically makes me an Independent which is cool.
So my non-voting volunteer hours are up for grabs. I love President Obama and I supported him in the last election, but he’s going to have to earn my support in 2012, just as anyone would, and just as all candidates should for all of us. There are no guarantees in life, including that people will vote with their party. Voting is private and I’m guessing there will be a lot of private party jumping come next November.
The political process is exciting and I love an election year. Once we know who is really in the race is when it starts to get good, and until they officially announce they are in, what they say or do is not that important to me. I have no idea who will run, or who I will support, but I am quite certain that I want the President and the Vice President of the United States to pick up their pizza and eat it with their hands, so I’m keeping the faith.
June 1, 2011 | 9:11 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
There is a group of people who are trying to have circumcisions banned on boys under the age of 18, unless it is medically necessary. You can read in depth articles written by Sue Fishkoff and Jonah Lowenfeld. I believe everyone is entitled to his or her opinion and I applaud those who fight for a cause they believe in. However, this is beyond ridiculous.
My son was circumcised in a religious ceremony, by a mohel who was also a doctor. However, even if I had opted out of the religious aspects of the circumcision, I still would have had it done. I think it is cleaner and simply looks better. At the risk of pissing off a lot of people, I think it’s just prettier. Can a penis be pretty? Yes, I believe it can.
I asked my son if he remembered being circumcised and if he was traumatized by the experience. His responded: “If I tell you it hurt like hell and I still have nightmares about it, will you feel so bad that you buy me car?” I told him no and he added, “Mom, seriously. I think you should buy me a car though. It’s all coming back to me now. Ouch!”
I take offense to those who are saying that a circumcision is male genital mutilation. Come on people. It is not mandatory for parents to circumcise their children. You can do it or not, but do not tell me what I can and cannot do. To rule that a man can choose do to do it on his own at 18 is insane. You want to talk about leaving a lasting impression? That’s going to hurt.
The things people will fight for, especially when there are so many things that need our attention, fascinate me. I wonder if there has ever been a poll asking women which type of penis they prefer. If snipped won would parents opt for the procedure if it meant their sons might grow up to get more action? I will take an unofficial Facebook poll and report back.
I don’t mean to make light of a subject that clearly people are passionate about, but the bottom line is that this is a waste of taxpayer’s money. I chose to do it for religious and personal reasons. My son is not scarred by it and even if doing it meant I would need to buy my kid a car 16 years later, I still would have done it. It is my choice and I stand by it.
I’m not qualified to speak about the religious aspects of the debate, but I can say that it is a part of my faith and that someone telling me I cannot practice my faith is offensive, illegal, and un-American. The people who are pushing for the ban should be fighting to stop true genital mutilation around the world, not attacking a covenant of the Jewish faith.
I invite those who are convinced that circumcision causes long-term damage to a child, to please take pity upon my son and his penis and buy him a car to ease their pain. He would like a truck and we are available to go shopping most weekends. Circumcision is a personal choice and a religious right. Will this ban be thrown out with the foreskin? I’m keeping the faith.