June 12, 2011 | 1:52 pm

The Vancouver Canucks Will Win The 2011 Stanley Cup. Period.

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I want very much for Vancouver to win the Stanley Cup. With a 3-2 lead in the series, it looks like it just might happen. By “just might” of course I mean we are going to win and make Boston cry. It’s our game, and it’s time for Lord Stanley’s Cup to return to Canada, where it belongs.

The last time a Canadian team won the cup was when the Montreal Canadiens were victorious back in 1993. That’s a long time for a county to wait for the return of something so beloved. It is time. I grew up in British Columbia so it makes the victory a litter sweeter, and much more personal.

Canada and hockey go together like Laurel and Hardy, salt and pepper, sushi and sake. Important to note that the Boston Bruins have a total of 18 Canadian players this year, so one could argue that Canada wins either way. This is our game, it’s our cup, and I am confidant it’s coming home.

I am so sure, I have a wager going with a friend who is delusional and thinks Boston will win. The loser, that will be him, has to take the winner, that will be me, to an NHL game next season, in the city of their choice. I am so excited to be going home to a Maple Leafs game.

I love the Toronto Maple Leafs. They won their first Stanley Cup in 1932 and have not won since 1967. My dream is for me to see them win another one. I love hockey. It is fantastic to watch, exhilarating to play, and has the sexiest players of any sport. Big, gorgeous, yummy, men.

Monday, June 13, 2011 is going to be a glorious day as it will mark the date the Stanley Cup came home. I wish Vancouver all the luck in the world and I will be watching and believing. Boston can talk all the smack they want, they are just bitter because they know the end is in sight.

I am a proud Canadian and I truly love the game of hockey. I cannot wait to watch Vancouver win tomorrow night and I will be in front of the television with a Molson, cheering the boys on. I believe, Vancouver believes, Canada believes, and we are keeping the faith.

June 11, 2011 | 11:42 pm

What Did We Learn from the Sarah Palin Email Witch-Hunt?

Posted by Ilana Angel

Palin's emails.

I have written a lot of things about Sarah Palin, both good and bad depending which side of the political aisle you are on. I do not agree with much of what she says or believes, but I have met her, spent some time talking to her, and think she is a pretty awesome person, politics aside.

Someone decided we needed to see the emails from her time as Governor of Alaska. Good thing we spent so much time and money on this epic failure. No big bombshell, or secret was uncovered. It was a crazy witch-hunt that made everyone involved, other than Mrs. Palin, look stupid.

The only reason to look into her emails was to attempt to find something to use against and her, and perhaps end her political career, but there was nothing interesting. Nothing of particular relevance, or anything that would immediately eliminate her from a presidential race. There was nothing.

You can’t help but wonder why it has not been requested that we see all the emails of Mitt Romney from when he was the Governor of Massachusetts. Why don’t we demand the emails of everyone who is going to run for President? That would be the fair thing to do.

Most people either love or hate Sarah Palin. I don’t love or hate her, I do however like her, and think she needs to be treated with a little more kindness. It is my belief that should she run, she will not be elected as President. I personally would not vote for her, but support her running.

She has millions of supporters who want her to be their President, and those Americans deserve the chance to have their voices heard. Palin supporters have been both kind and crazy when it comes to my blog. If I’m nice, so are they. If I’m not, it’s war. They are fueled by passion.

I think everyone should be welcomed to the table in the Presidential election of 2012. We must all get a chance to listen, question, and decide on our own. Politics is rough and not always fair, but instead of wasting time on a witch-hunt, perhaps we could work on civility and decency.

There will be a cloud over the democratic winner if the next year is spent trying to ruin Mrs. Palin. Just let her run. Everything we need to know to make the right decision will be presented for all to see, from both sides. The attacks on her would imply that perhaps people are scared of her.

Are they scared of her because of what she stands for, or perhaps because they know she has a shot? At the end of the day everything will come out in the wash, so let’s allow everyone hang themselves. Stop the witch hunting, trust the democratic process, and keep the faith.

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June 10, 2011 | 8:43 pm

Foreplay With Jon Stewart & Does Russell Crowe Have Penis Envy?

Posted by Ilana Angel

Jon Stewart and Russell Crowe

I love Jon Stewart. I don’t know him, but I love him. He is funny, smart, articulate, and willing to put his opinion out there in a way that I can appreciate, through comedy. I think he is handsome and I love how he loves his wife and kids. I also love The Daily Show and I can watch an episode more than once and laugh every time. Even with all this love I have for Jon, I can say, with absolute conviction, watching The Daily Show is not my idea of foreplay.

In a text message between Anthony Weiner and one of his online lady friends, they are sexting about getting together for sex and she says they can get in the mood by watching The Daily Show. Really? To clarify, when I said “lady”, I was kidding. According to Wikipedia the definition of foreplay is as follows: Foreplay is a set of intimate psychological and physically intimate acts between two or more people meant to create desire for sexual activity and sexual arousal.

I Googled foreplay and nowhere did it list watching The Daily Show as a good way to get in the mood. Poor Anthony Weiner. His life is spinning out of control and the chick he decided to sext with does not know what foreplay is. This guy has no luck. Was the chick trying to show that she had an intelligent side by saying she watched such a smart show? I’m thinking there are a lot of things this woman is, but smart is probably not on them. Poor thing.

Anthony Weiner and his penis have had a rough few days. Many have attacked him and his penis, but I’m guessing Russell Crowe is the last person he thought would be offended by his genitals. Crowe tweeted the following: Who are you to correct nature? Is it real that God requires a donation of foreskin? Babies are perfect. (I have) many Jewish friends, I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats but stop cutting yr babies. I will always believe in God, not man’s interpretation of what God requires… Last of it, if u feel it is yr right 2 cut things off yr babies please unfollow and f**k off, I’ll take attentive parenting over barbarism.”

It’s a horrible tweet and Russell Crowe sounds like an asshole, but here’s the thing, it may have been taken out of context. It does not make it any better, but if you look at the entire picture, it takes a bit of the sting out. Sting might not be the right word when discussing circumcision, but whatever. The tweet is part of a series of tweets between Crowe and his good friend Eli Roth, who, not that it matters at all, happens to be a Jew. According to TMZ, the tweet was part of a Twitter conversation between the two men.

Apparently after the tweet, The Hollywood Reporter wrote that Crowe insulted Jews and our own Hollywood Jew blogger here at the Jewish Journal wrote about Crowe’s insensitivity. Eli Roth spoke with TMZ and said the Hollywood Reporter “blatantly attempts to make Russell look like an anti-Semite. It’s tabloid journalism at its worst. No one contacted either of us. It’s terrible. Russell is a great person and respectful of all religions. The press is trying to terrify celebrities into not using Twitter. They want to show they can still ruin you. It’s sickening.”

Other places are reporting an expecting dad asked Crowe his thoughts on circumcision and that is what inspired the tweet. Who knows, and frankly, who cares? Why would his opinion matter to anyone? It was a stupid thing to say, and not funny, but it’s not fair to print it out of context. I guess Crowe felt bad because he released the following statement, “I have a deep and abiding love for all people of all nationalities, I’m very sorry that I have said things on here that have caused distress. My personal beliefs aside I realize that some will interpret this debate as me mocking the rituals and traditions of others. I am very sorry.” Whatever. We all thought Crowe was an asshole before this mess so why be so quick to jump to the anti-Semite card?

Is Crowe circumcised and resents his parents for taking away the foreskin that was rightfully his? Perhaps he is not circumcised and loves his foreskin so much he is heartbroken for other men who don’t have one? His two young sons are probably not snipped so if he really hates Jews, chances are they won’t bag a Jewish chick so that must be comforting in all this mess. Russell Crowe said something idiotic. Not the first time, probably not the last. The explanation could be as simple as him having Jewish penis envy.

I have not used the word penis so much in my entire life. Anthony Weiner has made talking about the penis mainstream. That’s something to be proud of. This will eventually all go away. Not any time soon, but eventually. I wish you all a happy, healthy and fun weekend. If you have a penis, circumcised or not, or even just access to one, enjoy it. Be kind to a stranger, turn the TV off during foreplay, and spend some time keeping the faith.

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June 9, 2011 | 1:21 am

Did Anthony Weiner’s Jewish Penis Crave Sex with a Jewish Woman?

Posted by Ilana Angel

I read an article yesterday in The Atlantic by Jeffrey Goldberg. It was short and sweet, as I assume Anthony Weiner’s penis is. It got me thinking about the stereotypes of sex with Jewish women, and I felt the need to share my two cents since I am a Jewish woman, so let’s talk sex.

It is reported by The New York Post that in one of his sexting sessions, Weiner was surprised to find that the Jewish woman he was conversing with was not only willing to give him fellatio, but was proud of her skills, and also her enjoyment of the act. Apparently he thought Jewish chicks don’t roll that way.

I have written a lot about Anthony Weiner this week and when all is said and blogged, I still like him, think he should keep his job, hope that his issues can be resolved, and his relationship with his wife salvaged. This guy needs to walk away for a minute, get some help, and fix what he has broken.

Weiner’s wife Huma Abedin has some tough choices to make. Does she forgive her husband for behaving badly? He never touched anyone, has had no sex, but rather just made a series of dumb choices. Is it possible that his penis caused the problems, more than his mind?

Was Weiner’s Jewish penis simply craving a Jewish girl? His wife is not Jewish, so was he missing out on something? Did he ruin his life because he thought banging a Jewish chick would be awesome? I am Jewish, but any sexual talents I have are not because of my faith.

Mr. Goldberg did not want to discuss what Jewish women do or do not do in bed, but I will. Jewish women are just like any other women. There are some who like things wild and others who are quite missionary in their views. They can be talented, frigid, giving, or selfish, just like all women.

I think Jewish women are sexy. Some of my most sexually aware and experimental girlfriends are Jewish and while I have personally never slept with a Jewish woman, to assume that Jewish women are not good in bed is correct. We are much better than good, we are beyond fantastic.

I know one of the women Weiner was talking to was Jewish, and knew he was married man, but as a porn star, she was researching her role in the movie “The Sexting Congressman”, which you know she is going make, so one could applaud her entrepreneurial Jewish spirit no?

I am sure there are prim and proper Mormons who can swing from the rafters, and Jewish chicks that dress provocatively but hate to be touched. Women are different, and while religion may alter our views of sex, it does not necessarily effect our talents, desires, or fantasies.

I can tell you that even though I am Jewish, there have been occasions of such pleasure, that I saw Jesus floating above me. Sex is a powerful thing and when done right, can and will inspire faith in a profound but not necessarily religious way. Amen!

The truth is Jewish women are fabulous. By fabulous I mean educated, independent, sexy, funny, kind, and loving. It’s a shame that more Jewish men are not interested in Jewish women. Interfaith marriages are common because, in my opinion, Jewish men do not appreciate Jewish ladies.

Goldberg got it right when he wrote that perhaps “Jewish men are intimidated by these superstar Jewish women.” I am not suggesting all Jewish men should marry Jewish women, I’m just saying Jewish men should not rule out Jewish women because they think we are a certain way.

As a single woman in my 40’s who dates, I meet many wonderful Jewish men who married non-Jews, had kids, got divorced, and now their kids have no connection to Judaism. They married thinking faith was not important, only to find out after their divorces that they feel a loss.

At the end of the day all I know for sure is that I wish Weiner and his wife well, Jewish women rock in the sack, I have a crush on Jeffrey Goldberg, and when it comes to sex, all women, regardless of their religion, need to be brave, own their sexuality, and keep the faith.

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June 8, 2011 | 5:51 pm

Anthony Weiner Has a Pregnant Wife and an Uncertain Future

Posted by Ilana Angel

Mr & Mrs. Weiner's wedding photo.

I feel sorry for Anthony Weiner. I think he made a series of really stupid mistakes, but is inherently a good guy. The comparisons to other politicians and their indiscretions are going to be made, but I think he needs to be separated out from the group of high profile political dogs of late.

You cannot say that he is like Edwards to Schwarzenegger, you cannot compare him to Sanford or Spitzer, as he has not had any physical contact with women other than his wife. He got caught up in something he did not understand, and his loss will be great. All this and he didn’t even get laid.

It is being reported today that his wife of a year is pregnant. I cannot even begin to imagine what this woman is going through, but I imagine it’s not as bad as what Mr. Weiner is feeling and experiencing. I truly feel sorry for this man, who has done so much good, that this will be the history everyone remembers.

Weiner’s wife, Huma Abedin, is currently in North Africa with her boss, Hilary Clinton, which I imagine is both a blessing a curse. A blessing in that she can escape some of the attention, and a curse that she is dealing with this separate from her husband. I suppose that might actually be a blessing too.

Part of me wants to yell at everyone to leave her alone, but the other part wants to know how it will play out. I wish them well, hope her pregnancy is not affected by stress, and that their pain eases so their baby is brought into a loving and caring home.

Anthony Weiner will, in my opinion, not recover professionally from this mess. I hope and pray however, that he recovers personally so he and his wife can provide a peaceful home for their child, whether they are together or not. I hope it’s together though, so I’m keeping the faith.

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June 8, 2011 | 3:27 pm

Jews: Spitzer, Weiner, Strauss-Kahn vs. Gentiles: Schwarzenegger, Edwards, Sanford

Posted by Ilana Angel

The last couple of years have seen a lot of news stories on politicians behaving badly with affairs and silly pictures over Twitter. There are different levels of inappropriate behavior, and while we’ll never know why certain choices were made, it’s interesting to try to figure it out. Perhaps the best place to begin is by separating the Jews from the Gentiles.

Let’s use these six men for our experiment:

Eliot Spitzer – Jewish
Anthony Weiner – Jewish
Dominique Strauss-Kahn – Jewish
John Edwards - Gentile
Mark Sanford – Gentile
Arnold Schwarzenegger – Gentile

The non-Jews in our experiment all had affairs. They had relationships outside of their vows. They were “classic” adulterers. They cheated, but their relationships were not just about sex. All three had ongoing relationships with the women they slept with, and continue to be connected to them after the scandals that took them down.

The Jews however, were caught in not so normal behavior, by using the Internet for pseudo-sexual encounters, paying for prostitutes, and allegedly attacking women for forced sex. Are the Jews cowards, or geniuses? By not engaging in a relationship, did the Jews think it was not cheating? Could their approach be seen as more of a mistake in judgment rather than a sin?

If you pay someone, use your computer, or force them, does that make you a better husband that having an emotional connection and full blown relationship outside of your marriage? The Gentiles who cheated all had their marriages end, and they all continue to have, or actually be in, relationships with the women they cheated with.

They are humiliated, and have ruined their careers and reputations, but they are viewed as pigs and dogs, not deviants or violent predators, as the Jews are. John Edwards cheated on his dying wife, had a baby, and is now being indicted for using campaign money to cover up the affair. He is a dog, a pig, a liar, and a moron. He is not a deviant or violent.

Mark Sanford cheated on this wife, left her and their children for his “soul mate”, gave up his job, career, and seemingly good life, to be with the woman he cheated with. Arnold Schwarzenegger slept with his housekeeper, had a baby with her, and continued to have her working in the home he shared with his wife and children for years without his family knowing.

Sanford and Schwarzenegger are dogs to be sure. They violated marriages, devastated children, humiliated wives, and ruined their careers. Their sexual encounters became something bigger than just a romp in the sack though. They still have relationships with the women they were with, and the kids they had. After the sin, did they do right thing?

The Jews on the other hand were not as committed with their sinning. Eliot Spitzer slept with hookers using another name, Anthony Weiner sent pictures from his own account instead of having a fake Twitter for his indiscretions, and Dominique Strauss-Kahn was allegedly blatant in his desires for sex, with no attempt to change his name either.

Are the Jews just dumber? Is the feeling that if you simply “play around” it’s not as offensive, or perhaps less of a sin, than having an actual affair that involves time and emotional investment? If you cheat and tell your wife, will she forgive you more easily than if you don’t tell her and she finds out on her own? Are there differently levels of sin?

Another option could be that Jewish men are oppressed sexually which makes them a little more deviant in their behavior. Maybe they are kinkier and think they need something other than a regular old mistress to have their sexual fantasies met. If you are paying a hooker then I imagine you get what you pay for, and therefore can pay for anything you want.

If you send your pictures over the Internet, there is a level of danger that could be a turn on. Talking to someone and letting them know what you want them to do is less dirty than having them actually do it, and forcing someone to satisfy you sexually takes on a different set of sins. Do DSK and Weiner have sexually submissive and boring wives, forcing them to go another way?

Do men throw away their careers for sex? It’s not that simple in my opinion. Arnold slept with his housekeeper, but took care of her and their son for years, so even though he is a douchebag, there is an underlying level of decency. Sanford ruined his family, but found love in his soul mate whore and remained with her after he lost everything, so he was decent to her.

Edwards put a dark cloud over the final years of his wife’s life, but supports the daughter from his affair, and continues a relationship with her. I imagine he regrets his choices with his recent indictment, but would it be a regret without the pending legal battle? The Gentiles are disgusting, cowardly men, but in the end followed their sins up with decency.

The Jews have an added layer of disgust and disappointment to their sinning, and to be honest, I’m not sure if perhaps I view it that way because I am a Jew myself. Do I hold them up to a higher standard? Are they presumed to be menschy? Weiner has been married only a year. What is going on with him that this risky and dangerous behavior is happening?

Spitzer worked to close prostitution rings, yet was caught with hookers. DSK put himself in compromising situations with everything to lose. Were the Jewish men trying to get caught to escape unhappy lives? Does the mensch come into play by them ruining their lives, taking all the blame, and ugliness on themselves so they can get out, and their wives are the victims?

What does a wife do when faced with her husband’s deviant behavior? It is being reported today that Weiner’s wife is pregnant with their first child. What does she do now? Maria Shriver has a 25 year history ending so how does she start over? Does DSK’s wife just look away and continue to live her life of wealth and comfort?

Is it easier to forgive a naked picture over the Internet than a full blown affair? Is the sin in the desire to do something bad, or is it only when a physical line is crossed? Are Jewish men afraid of their wives? The same wives that don’t stimulate them sexually? Or do they love them, and want to be caught so as not to hurt them?

I think it’s all fascinating and I wonder if any of these men, Jews or Gentiles, will ever have the balls to come clean and explain what happened that led them to their choices. Can a man be so unhappy, or perhaps so deviant, that he throws away everything for nothing? Jew or Gentile, dog or deviant, at the end of the day, these men need to try keeping the faith.

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June 8, 2011 | 1:15 pm

Sex, Politics, Deviants, Dogs, Jews & Gentiles

Posted by Ilana Angel