Posted by Ilana Angel
I went to Vancouver, Canada for the weekend and had a fun, interesting, inspiring, moving, entertaining, fabulous, educational, and revitalizing time. I love Canada. It is a special place and I have been blessed to live in enough Canadian cities to be able to say that Canada, all of Canada, is wonderful.
This weekend however felt different. I was not going for long, or to see my mom and siblings, was not travelling with my son, and had nothing to do there except have a good time. It was truly a holiday that was all about me, and that has not happened for as far back as I can remember.
I lived in Langley, British Columbia as a kid and over the past year have become reacquainted with my girlfriends from middle school through Facebook. Love it or hate it, Facebook is a remarkable thing and after 28 years of no contact, we decided to meet for dinner in Vancouver.
The girls are scattered all over British Columbia, and I am in LA, so we picked a date, I booked a ticket, and the ball was set in motion. I was nervous because while my yearbooks are full of unending love and promises of friendship forever, it had been almost 3 decades since we spoke.
From the moment I got off the plane I felt at home. My friend Danielle, who I have not seen or had any contact with in almost 30 years, invited me to stay with her which was lovely and brave. Apart from Facebook, she knew nothing about me and I could have been a freak.
She opened her home to me and it was wonderful. It was as if we had seen each other the week before. She is a lovely girl and the only other single one from our group. It was interesting to talk to her about dating and relationships. No matter where you live the issues are the same.
Our paths have been different in that I am divorced and have a child while she has never married, but the challenges are the same. It was rather enlightening. I thought my dating experiences were harder because I was a divorced mom but it turns out it really does not matter that much.
Men are men, and dating is brutal. Danielle is dating, doing the online thing occasionally, meeting people at work, the same as all of us, and it’s not easier for her. We all have baggage and it turns out a divorce and child are not baggage when dating, just part of your history.
The girls and I walked, talked, ate, and had a blast. My friend Liz was there and she was my best friend. I loved her so much and can remember thinking I would die when we moved from Vancouver to Toronto and I had to leave her. She looks the same, is delicious, and I love her.
My friend Lee-Ann is inspiring. She is mother to 5 children, her two youngest are miracle babies, and she is amazing. She is dedicated to her children and while her life is exhausting, she never complains and counts her blessings. I love her and think she is amazing.
Jennifer was interesting because I had no recollection of her from school, but she is in my yearbook, writing about how much she would miss me. When I saw her it came back and I remembered exactly who she was. She is a pistol and I dig her. Funny as hell and fabulous.
Laurie could not make it to dinner but came for breakfast and seeing her was both good and bad. Good because she is lovely and we were good friends, but bad because she does not look one day older than she did 28 years ago, and it was a little offensive. She did not age which is not fair.
The weekend was great but I wish I could go back and direct our conversations more. We talked about our lives now, but did not get a chance to talk about how we all got here, and what our lives have been like since we were in middle school together. It was a remarkable thing.
I am the only Jew in the group and it’s interesting that I don’t remember religion ever being something we talked about, or something that marked us as different. We were kids who loved each other and our beliefs were based on faith and did not label us. It was a great thing.
We fell right into our friendships and it was fun, but after 28 years there was no history lesson and I wish we would have talked about that more. Our personalities are all pretty much the same, and we are now as we were then. Life happened but we skipped over it in our excitement.
A few girls had to cancel and it was a shame. I did have a chance to see my Auntie Maureen, cousin Roni and her daughter Ashley. I had not seen Roni is almost 20 years, had never met her daughter Ashley who is 18, and had not seen my aunt since my father passed away.
Ashley is beautiful and Roni is amazing. She is a remarkable woman who is raising a special needs child and I am awe of her. She is kind and patient. She looks great it was nice to be with her. We have a long history together and it’s a shame we are not closer.
We were close as kids and things fell apart when we got older, and it was my fault. I made a bad decision and it caused our friendship to unravel and I have nobody to blame but myself. I can say I was young and didn’t know better, but in the end I should have handled it better.
I love her and being with her was special. Her daughter is very sweet and I look forward to their coming to LA for a visit to Disneyland. My Auntie Maureen is my father’s only sibling. She is beautiful and seeing her, and hearing her voice, was the next best thing to being with my dad.
When I hugged her I did not want to let go. She is super cute. We were talking about the family, catching up in general, when we somehow got on the subject of American Idol. Weird. In the middle of our long list of things to catch up on, we started talking about American Idol.
My 71-year-old aunt told me if she could spend the night with anyone, it would be Adam Lambert. Of all the men on the planet, she would pick Adam. It was hilarious and she was like a teenage fan in love. Hey Adam, if you are reading, I’ve got a date for you in Vancouver.
It was a really great weekend. A fun moment was when a homeless man, who let me just say was very attractive, asked me if I could spare $1000.00. It was the funniest thing I have ever heard. We walked past and he politely asked if I could spare a thousand bucks. It was awesome.
I gave him a few dollars and told him he was fabulous. Seriously give him a shower, shave, haircut and suit, and this guy is handsome. I loved his request. Canadians are funny people. Not funny odd, but funny entertaining. Even when down on their luck, they are decent people.
You can’t talk about Vancouver and not mention Japa Dog. It is a hotdog shop that serves hot dogs with Japanese toppings. They serve a few different hot dogs, along with a veggie dog, that are topped with very interesting items. I want to open one in Los Angeles.
I had a really wonderful time and look forward to going back. It was great to reconnect with my friends and family and I have a list of 20 things I want to do there with my son. I may live in Los Angeles, but Canada is home and going home is a blessing and I am grateful for the trip.
In seeing the lives of my friends, I see how lucky we all are. We have remained the same decent and kind people that we were as kids. We were lucky to grow up where we did and I am thankful for my parents and the life I was given. I am happy, grateful, and keeping the faith.
12.19.13 at 2:57 am | My son has a free schlepping service.
12.12.13 at 8:05 am | Well played my son. Well played.
12.11.13 at 6:58 am | I watch in awe and stare with envy at these. . .
12.5.13 at 3:16 pm | Heaven has received a blessing today.
12.3.13 at 3:05 pm | Every time I go into the kitchen I half expect to. . .
11.30.13 at 10:42 am | "The only correct actions are those that demand. . .
9.15.13 at 3:14 pm | I love you Russell Brand. (462)
12.12.13 at 8:05 am | Well played my son. Well played. (401)
7.25.11 at 5:38 pm | We need more Jews! (269)
April 11, 2011 | 11:14 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Bethenny, Bethenny, Bethenny. I once again watched and while there are moments this week that I liked you, as soon as it sets in that you are back to your old self, I remember that you are so aware of the cameras that nothing you do or say is real and I snap back to the reality of your fake reality.
We start with a skating lesson with you and Ethan for SWTS and you are complaining. Remember when they asked you on the perfectly timed for filming phone conversation, and you talked about how much you wanted it and the sacrifice of time would be worth it because it was a dream come true?
I know you remember so why are you complaining. We are so sick of haring about you and your busy life. As for your California drug reference to Ethan, we don’t all smoke weed in California and your implying that he is a pot head was mean and gross, which is becoming your MO.
Furthermore, your coming to the skating rink at 6:00 am is not the most exciting thing to ever happen to New Jersey, and New Jersey has more than just bars. Your humor used to be funny and surprising, but now it’s just mean and makes you sound ignorant, not smart and funny.
You go with Jason to get jeans and you are mortifying. To constantly be talking about how cheap your husband is, is not cool. To ask him who he is talking to, when you hear him in the change room, is ridiculous since he’s changing in front of a camera with a mike. He’s talking to us.
How is Bravo planning to pull out another year of this show when we spent 10 minutes watching Jason buy jeans? Seriously. Bethenny wants to have people over for Thanksgiving. Clearly this show is scripted because there is no way in hell this woman would invite people over to her home.
They are moving their dining table out and it’s fascinating when Bethenny freaks out when Jason tries to be funny. She is the only one who can be funny. If someone else tries it’s bad, and if they are actually funnier than her, all bets are off and she loses her mind.
Julie reads some stuff off the Internet about Bethenny’s mom and Bethenny tells us she will never speak to mother again. By never speak to her again, I’m sure she means she will not talk to her until it is good for the ratings, at which point she will talk to her, make up with her, then bash her.
The bath time with Bryn is sweet but so incredibly fake we’ll just skip over it. Jason and Bethenny get on the Skinny Girl private jet and it’s sickening. Bethenny is a product placement whore and their talking about her brand every minute of the show is just too much. I am so over it.
We’re skipping over the the plane. Bethenny and her sarcasm toward Jason and his hometown make me want to slap her. Not slap her because that would be mean, but accidentally trip her as she walks by in her insanely high heels, which she wears at inappropriate times.
They are shopping in and Bethenny tells us she always wanted to collect snow globes. She takes a minute to get there, but finally says it’s to recapture the youth she did not have. Blah, blah, blah. In an episode where there was no need to talk about her childhood, she finds a way.
Jason says he can’t forget Bethenny had a rough childhood. Know why? Because she never stops talking about it. Jason is likeable but falling into the abyss that is Bethenny and her lies. Walk to the light Jason and when you get there, grab the baby and run.
Jason and Bethenny are walking down the street and the conversation makes me want to jam the batteries from the remote into my eyes. They are talking about how great the trip is, how wonderful Montreal is, and that being there feels like they are in another country. Really?
Do Jason and Bethenny not realize Montreal is in another country? It’s called Canada. Canada and the United States are two different countries. Dear Lord. I’m not sure I can make it through the episode. I am fast-forwarding and about done. Thank God for TIVO.
In bed talking about farting? Skipping it. She has an idea for a new drink? Skipping it. Touring the plant and watching Skinny Girl products for 10 minutes? Skipping over it. Fake cries and sniffing at how far her little idea has gone? I’m skipping over it all and having a real margarita.
Bethenny informs us that she is the only woman in the liquor business. The only one. Really? I want to know if that’s true. I find it hard to believe that not only did she invent the margarita, but in the entire world, she is the only woman who is a power player in the liquor business.
Love her or hate her, we watch her. I don’t believe anything she says anymore and I think we will see her mother on this show before it’s all said and done. Bethenny will bring her on, then crush her, then cry about how horrible it was. It’s just a matter of time before it happens.
Bethenny should be very proud of everything she has accomplished. Imagine how great it would have been however, if she had gotten where she is on talent, not lies and manipulation. It’s too late now so all she can do is pray karma is too busy to pay attention, and keep the faith.
April 8, 2011 | 5:42 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
It would appear that Republican lawmakers have a problem with my uterus. Just when you think they cannot be anymore frightening, and by frightening of course I mean idiotic, they announce that they will not agree to a budget that includes funding to Planned Parenthood.
It begs the question, do these Republican schmucks even know what Planned Parenthood is and what they do? Here is a little history lesion gentlemen: Margaret Sanger was a nurse, who in 1916 opened the first birth control clinic in Brooklyn, at a time when contraception was illegal.
She was arrested in 1936 for purchasing birth control products through the mail, which led to a court order that changed the laws about contraception. Because of her work, birth control and contraceptive devices were no longer considered “obscene” by our government.
From that one clinic in Brooklyn, Planned Parenthood was born, and currently has 800 health clinics across the United States. They are not abortion clinics, which is what the Republican lawmakers seem to believe they are. Abortions are only a small part of what they do.
To be clear, abortion is legal in every single state in America so it should not even be a part of this discussion. Stopping funding to Planned Parenthood is not going to stop abortions. What it will do is stop breast exams, cervical cancer screenings, and vaccines for STD’s.
Republicans have way more important things to worry about than hating my uterus. The most disturbing part of this insanity is that the majority of these lawmakers don’t even have a uterus, so they should keep their mouths shut and focus on what is important.
Planned Parenthood’s President, Cecile Richards responded to the demand from the Republicans with this statement:
“It is truly unacceptable that a small group with an extreme political agenda is forcing a shutdown of the United States government over a dangerous proposal that would bar women from getting the lifesaving healthcare they need — breast exams, Pap tests, HIV tests and more. The American people expect their leaders to fix the economy and solve real problems, not shut down the government. More than 70% of our health centers are located in rural America or communities that are medically underserved communities. That’s what’s getting lost here.”
Our country is facing a lot of problems and regardless of what side of the political fence you are on, you simply cannot think that this is okay. Planned Parenthood is a necessary service in the country and lives will be impacted, and lost, if their funding is cut. We need to speak out.
To the Republican lawmakers who came up with this brilliant idea, I have a message from my uterus: I implore you, on behalf of myself and every uterus in America, including those of your wives, daughters and sisters, do not take away this important funding.
To the employees and volunteers of Planned Parenthood, you are doing a good thing and providing countless blessings to the women and families in need of your care. To the people who utilize the services of Planned Parenthood, this too shall pass and everything will be okay. Hang on and keep the faith.
** Join Scarlett Johansson in standing up for Planned Parenthood. Vote.
April 8, 2011 | 8:14 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
At Passover we ask: ”Why is today different from all other days?” Well the reason that yesterday was different is because it was my mother’s birthday. She turned a whopping 45 and is rocking it. With her giant poof, her stunning beauty, and her great tan, she… oh wait, that’s Snooki.
My mom, as I have mentioned before, is just the greatest person. She is smart, funny, short, pretty, and cool. That’s right, my mom is most definitely the “Cool Mom”. She always has something funny to say to my friends, she lets us cuss, and she takes us for pizza at 1:30 in the morning.
Yesterday for her birthday we went to Color-Me-Mine which lasted about 2 hours. We decorated salt and pepper shakers and it was a blast. We then had an extremely delicious dinner at CPK, which was just amazing. It was a supremely great day, and I wish you, my mummy, the happiest year you could ever possibly have.
Mom and I got photos taken about 2 weeks ago. The photo shoot was my mom’s birthday present to herself. I really hope they turn out nice. I think we got some pretty good shots in. There were some of my mom giving me a piggyback ride which I think will be my favorite.
We were both so happy during the shoot. My mom is a riot. She makes me laugh a lot but when I make her laugh, everything is right in the world. My mom can do a nice fake laugh but when she thinks something is really funny she laughs from deep inside and it’s my favorite sound.
As my mum would say, Sidebar: Why Mr. Trump? You’re a great TV personality. You are extremely rich. You have anything you could ever want, so why President? Come on! What the hell are you thinking? Do you think you will get votes because you are a good businessman?
Do you think America will want a President whose motto is “You’re fired!”, in this bad economy? I hate to be mean and I know I’m just a kid, but really? I guess you being able to fire people so easily might help you clean up Washington. It’s weird, but could happen I guess.
Another sidebar: I want to publicly declare I am unbelievably saddened Steve Carrel is leaving The Office. It is one of my favorite shows and he is what makes it. He has given us so many amazing quotes and laughs. I think NBC will pull through and I have hope for you Dunder Mifflin.
Other than that, my life is pretty good since I last blogged. School is good, friends are good. I’m kind of just laying low in the ladies category. Nobody I really like and nobody really likes me (that I know of). I’m going to have an epic weekend while my mom head to Canada for the weekend.
She is going to see a bunch of girls she has not since she was my age. That was a long time ago but thanks to Facebook they got back in touch. One of them, Liz, was here last year with her family and we went to Disneyland. Her and mom were like kids only old. It was cute.
I hope you had a very Happy Birthday Mummy and have fun on the weekend. You love everything Canadian so it’s great you get to go to the homeland. Don’t worry about me or call 25 times a day. I’m fine. I’m having a blast with my friends and Heidi will take good care of me.
I love you very much. You allow me to follow my dreams, and when I don’t believe, you believe in me until I can lift myself back up. I am very lucky that you are my mom. (Thanks for letting me blog today.) My mom will get back to the Real Housewives next week, so keep the faith!
April 7, 2011 | 9:31 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
Today is my birthday and I am 45 years old. I remember very clearly when my mother turned 40 and thinking she was ancient, so what does that make me? I can’t remember where I leave my keys most days, but I remember being young and I can honestly say that now is better.
Life is certainly more complicated as you get older, but also easier. Birthdays are a time of reflection for me and I don’t pay them much attention. I have stopped giving myself unrealistic goals to hit by certain ages. I am simply living my life and trying to learn as I go along.
For today’s blog I am going to share 45 things that I know for sure. Not things that I think or feel, but rather things I actually believe to be true. You can agree, or not, and it won’t matter because at 45, one of life’s great blessings is that I can own them as my beliefs without fear.
Here are 15 things I have discovered about myself:
1. I am a phenomenal mother.
2. I love my son as my mother loves me.
3. I miss my dad so much it aches.
4. I am funny. Very funny.
5. I am a wonderful cook.
6. I will never wear a bikini.
7. I think golf is stupid.
8. I don’t forgive easily.
9. I dream of my son’s wedding.
10. I don’t like feeling lonely.
11. I am addicted to reality television.
12. I have an evolving relationship with God.
13. I fear death.
14. I have accepted my body. All of it.
15. I don’t care what people think of me.
Here are 15 things I have discovered since I began writing my blog:
1. People assume the worst.
2. Republicans can be quite nice.
3. Lots of people openly hate Jews.
4. Girls are mean no matter how old they are.
5. You can’t like Sarah Palin but must either love or hate her.
6. Stupid people can read.
7. People are uptight about sex.
8. Religion can make people scary.
9. Reality television is as addictive as heroin.
10. Prostitution is illegal but being a fame whore is not.
11. There are a lot of lonely people.
12. Many people are not having sex.
13. Manny Pacquiao is delicious.
14. You can be friends with someone you’ve never met.
15. I care what people think of me.
Here are 15 things I hope for:
1. I will dance with my son at his wedding.
2. My grandchildren will call me Nona.
3. I won’t die alone with 18 cats.
4. George Clooney falls in love with me.
5. I get trapped in an elevator with Russell Brand.
6. My son is safe, happy and healthy always.
7. I meet my beshert.
8. My trip to Canada is safe and my son’s weekend is fabulous.
9. I learn to make Tah-dig.
10. I get my taxes filed on time.
11. I learn how to use Twitter.
12. My son marries a nice Jewish girl.
13. I get married again.
14. Potato chips become the healthiest thing you can ever eat.
15. Sex is like riding a bike.
There you have it. 45 things on my 45th birthday. I am 45 and fabulous. Aging is okay and I embrace it. I am blessed with a wonderful family and friends, a divine child, work I love, hope for the world, and an unwavering belief that I will find my great love if I always keep the faith.
April 6, 2011 | 2:10 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
There are days when I look at my kid and feel a love so great I think I might explode. Those days come around about every 24 hours. I love him very much and not just because he is my kid, but because he is a wonderful human being. He makes every single day of my life better and I am blessed.
He is a freshman in high school and he is doing great. He gets fabulous grades, is commended by his teachers, has terrific friends, and is polite, funny, kind, generous, sensitive, thoughtful and exhausted kid. I don’t remember high school being as busy for me as it is for him.
He has massive amounts of homework, and between the hours and workload, my kid is tired. This morning he got all the way to school then called me to say he was not feeling good. He came home, crawled back into bed and fell asleep. It all caught up to him and he needed to sleep.
He could be getting sick I suppose, or having allergies, but it might simply be a matter of exhaustion. I stayed home and checking in on him in his room reminded me of when he was a baby. The day of rest made him feel better, but it also did wonders for me, as I got a full day with my baby.
While he slept I got my taxes together. It is April 5th and I am just now gathering all my tax information. Can anyone explain to me why I waited so long? I have filed in February for the last 20 years so I am not sure why I procrastinated for so long and am now anxious to get it done.
Speaking of anxious, I am going to Vancouver on Friday for a reunion dinner with my girlfriends from middle school. It’s been 28 years and while I am not at all nervous about seeing them, flying makes me very nervous. I have travelled extensively, all over the world, but flying is not my favorite.
I get nervous, stressed, and can only step foot on a plane if I am medicated. It’s bad. I love to travel and hate to fly. It’s a mystery to me. At the end of the day my desire to see these girls trumps my fear and so the countdown is on for my return trip to Canada with a pill to help me through.
I’m not the only one in my house having to take a magic pill. My 2nd cat Gopher has still not adjusted to life here. He loves our other cat Fiddles, but in all the months he’s been here I’ve never touched him. He won’t get close to my son or me as he is skittish and not friendly.
He may be the worst cat ever, but I know if I don’t keep him he will be put down somewhere and my son wouldn’t be able to bare it. So the little man is now on Prozac. How totally LA am I that I have a pet on Prozac to help deal with his anxiety? If it weren’t so sad, it would be hilarious.
He’s been on it for a few days and I must tell you there has been a marked difference. Last night he walked around the house looking around like he just got here. It was the cutest thing. He smelled everything then plopped himself down in the living room and started to watch television.
He literally turned his head to the TV and settled in for Dancing With The Stars. He was particularly interested in Kendra which was entertaining. I thought Kirstie did great, even though she fell, and sadly I was not surprised that Wendy went home. It’s such a shame she couldn’t relax.
I am a fan of hers. I think she is funny and charming but the fabulous talk show Wendy did not translate well into the dancing Wendy. It may have been the commuting from NYC, or maybe she is just a bad dancer, but she is a bright star and allowed herself to fizzle out which is too bad.
It’s also a shame that it’s only Wednesday because it feels like it should be Friday already. I’m going to skip over Thursday as it’s my birthday and since I’m hitting 45, I’m just letting Thursday come and go quietly with the knowledge that 45 may be the year I find love again.
It could happen. My beshert could be out there and this could be the year. It could happen because miracles happen. Speaking of miracles, this could be the year that Bethenny’s fans come to terms with the fact that I am not Jill Zarin. We are actually two different people.
Just because someone does not love Bethenny does not make them Jill. I like Jill Zarin. I’ve never met her, but of all the housewives of NYC I think her journey with fame has been the most interesting. She’s a good egg and in the battle that is Bethenny vs. Jill, I’m wearing a Team Jill t-shirt.
Bitter is the new black and 45 is the new 30 so it’s all good. More than my birthday, Thursday is my 30th Anniversary with my son. We are going to go out for a special dinner, go to Color Me Mine to make something for our home, and celebrate that we are together, blessed, and keeping the faith.
April 4, 2011 | 11:10 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Bethenny Frankel, you are in need of a friend because clearly you don’t have any. Let’s set aside our differences and be friends okay? My first job as your new friend is to tell you the truth, as only a friend will. Ready? Grow the hell up, stop whining, count your blessings, and get over yourself.
The constant complaining, ungratefulness, and disrespect of others, especially your husband and his family, is disgusting and going to cost you fans, and more importantly, your marriage. Furthermore, now that the world has seen what you are all about, hooking another one will be much harder next time around.
You have been in therapy for a long time and these issues should have been addressed already. As your friend I must say you have been buying into your lies for so long, that you believe them and now that they are unraveling, you are panicking and it’s making you lose your mind. It’s ok. I get it.
If I were a compulsive liar, who made millions selling myself as something that I’m not, and someone was lurking in the dark with my lies, I would panic and be unstable too. Who wouldn’t? The key is to take a deep breath, have a drink and make a plan. Important to note that anything Skinny Girl does not count.
Let’s go through tonight’s show so you can see things like I do as your friend. You meet Shawn and the first thing you say is that you are exhausted. The thing is Sweetie, you keep telling us that you don’t want to complain about being tired, but it’s all you do. Complaining is not cute.
You are unable to talk to anyone without making a sexual joke and by joke of course I mean inappropriate and embarrassing spewing of unnecessary things. You are 40 now and simply too old for the constant stream of sexual inappropriateness and gay musings. Again, not cute.
You are now talking with Ethan about Skating With The Stars and I am not going to say a thing. I’m your friend and I bashed you enough on this one when I blogged about the actual show so I am going to cut you some slack. That said, I reserve the right to come back to this if needed.
Your in-laws are with Bryn and it’s wonderful. They are special people and if you had to spend 5 minutes my ex mother-in-law you’d be licking their feet in gratitude for the exceptional human beings they are. That you don’t appreciate how lucky you are makes me want to hit you.
Not hit you in a hurt you kind of way, but hit you in a snap out of it kind of way. That your father-in-law went to such lengths to fix the mannequin is remarkable, especially when you think about what a complete bitch you’ve been to him and his wife. Seriously, figure this one out already.
Let’s talk about when you’re getting your make-up done. The baby is crying and you are in the closet with Cookie in a cocktail dress, acting crazy. Why? If you don’t start appreciating what you have, you are going to lose it and will have nobody to blame but yourself and that’s not good.
For someone who is haunted by her make believe childhood, certainly you can make up a new future and buy into those lies as much as you buy in the ones you’ve created about your parents right? How hard can it be? I want this for you Bethenny. We all want it, at least for now.
If you push us too far it might get to the point that we simply don’t care anymore and will be pulling for Jason more than you, and by pulling for them of course I mean we will all be waiting for him to dump your skinny girl butt and find a woman who is complete and not shattered like you.
Are you with me B? Let’s keep going. You are starting to really melt down, send Jason off when he is trying to help, then get into a conversation with your make-up artist and she totally gets you? Really? Are you insane? You should have had this conversation with Jason.
The entire fiasco of your birthday would have been averted if you had talked to him, instead of someone who works for you. Sidebar: you need friends who do not work for you. You are paying them to be your friend and there is no getting around that fact.
I won’t even talk about the limo ride because you were such a baby there is nothing to say and even if I had something, it would not be as great as what Jason said. When he said to “suck it up”, I loved him a little more and prayed he would make it through the night unscathed.
Ramona arrives and you start talking, then realize if you take a step back you will get your Skinny Girl drink in the picture. Dear Lord Bethenny. We get it, you have a drink, which tastes like crap, and no matter how many times you show it to us, it’s not going to taste better.
Jason surprises you with your best friend Teri and you could care less. Is it because she is one of the people lurking? She gives you a beautiful gift and you loved it but being mean about her innocent joke tainted it. Watch what you say because you can’t take it back.
Jason is giving you a gift and it’s mortifying. The entire thing is uncomfortable to watch and let’s be clear, because you must understand, you looked like a spoiled, ridiculous brat and ruined what was a lovely gesture by your husband and his parents, who were embarrassed.
You are asking your “friends” if you ruined the night and they are all assuring you that you did not. Well, here’s the thing, you did. You ruined the entire evening, for everyone, and your crying crap fest in the bathroom was sad until you yelled at Jason for trying to make this about him.
Honestly Bethenny, you are so incredibly out of control we are not sure you can be helped. Editing or not, that you are hysterical one second and then fine the next lends itself to the possibility that you may be faking. By may be of course I mean total faker.
The final scene of the night would have been great if you were not wearing a ridiculous Skinny Girl t-shirt. Then just when I think I cannot watch another episode of the massive train wreck, you tell Jason that you want a bubble bath for your birthday and in a second, I fell in love with you again.
You sitting in the tub with Jason, Bryn and Cookie, all in your bathing suits and sun glasses, is enough to make me want to hang on in the hope that maybe you can shed the layers of crap you have created and get back to yourself. Not likely, but still, I am keeping the faith.
April 4, 2011 | 10:17 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I love this show and this season is fabulous. Any show that allows Gary Busey to be Gary Busey, throws in the freak show of any member of the Jackson family, the ego of Star Jones, and the simple fabulousness of NeNe Leakes, is pure dynamite. This season, after 3 weeks, has hit its stride.
Dionne Warwick was sent home last week and her parting words to NeNe were that she was a coward. NeNe tells Trump Dionne was an “old, bossy lady”. It’s was sweet of her actually because in reality, Dionne was a crazy old hag who lost her mind and legend or not, she is now known as crazy.
It’s an art challenge. The celebs need to make art, then sell it in a gallery, along with each of them designing a baseball cap for sale at the gallery. John Rich is project manager for the men and Marlee Matlin for the women. Gary Busey explains the importance of art to us. Perfection.
Sidebar: Gary Busey is divine. He is entertaining, charming, whack, and delicious. At first glance it would appear that he makes no sense, but really, if you just listen, he is a genius. I freaking love him and I want to read a book of his quotes and thoughts on life. This guy is crazy gold. Charlie Sheen who?
Jose Canseco bails because his dad, who has been ill, takes a bad turn. Since they taped the show his father passed away. His life continues to be a crapfest so it’s good he left when he did so as to keep his demise away from Celebrity Apprentice. I’m sure Trump is relieved he bailed when he did.
Richard Hatch tells the camera he thinks Jose made it up so he could bail rather than get kicked off. Important to note: Richard hatch is a disgusting pig. He is a mess, and lucky he even made it onto this show. He is a liar, a cheat, a scumbag, and the ultimate douchelord. Was I clear on my thoughts?
At the art supply store, Meatloaf gets pissed off at Gary. Gary asks him if he is getting canvases for everyone, and Meatloaf translates that to Busey asking him if he’s getting all his stuff. It’s ridiculous. Gary is a little off, but he’s not a liar, and certainly did nothing to warrant Meatloaf losing his mind.
Back with the ladies, LaToya donates a t-shirt that was her brother Michael’s, which she has kept with her since he died, and I am a little mortified to say I started crying. It was touching and I thought she was lovely and generous. I love Michael Jackson and good for her for including him in such a nice way.
At the men’s work space Meatloaf is missing his art supplies. Meatloaf explodes and start going off on Busey in a profoundly disgusting way. She is screaming profanity at Gary and looks as if he is about to have an aneurism. Poor Gary is just looking at him calmly, not understanding what is happening.
Meatloaf is a big baby, saying Busey stole his stuff, and he is dumping all his pent up anger at poor Gary who is behaving like a perfect gentleman and even after Meatloaf goes crazy, Busey goes up to see if he’s okay. The thing is, John Rich finds Meatloaf’s bag in the corner proving Busey did nothing.
There is no apology, there is no embarrassment that he was just a complete moron and ass. He just shakes it off, says he was pushed too far and poor Gary is left not understanding, no support from the other guys, and no acknowledgment that he did nothing wrong. I have decided I love Gary Busey.
NeNe Leakes is the best character to ever come out of reality television. This chick is hilarious. She is uncensored and fabulous. She is not intimidated by any of the “celebrities” and holds her own. I want to be friends with NeNe. God help me if I ever piss her off, but still, I would love to hang out with her.
Busey is painting a buffalo, Lil Jon is doing blood-splattered artwork, Hatch is useless, and John Rich is a superstar. I like country music and I like her people. I think the country music industry is the heart of America and he is doing a good job being a leader, a role model, and a good old boy. I like country music. Even the truck broke, dog died, ran out of beer stuff.
Sidebar: Donald Trump’s kid’s look just like him. Those are some powerful genetics. No paternity tests will ever be needed because regardless of whom the mother is, and his kids have 3 different moms, they all look the same. I wonder if the younger Trumps will sport the hairdo when they are older.
The men have arrived at their gallery with time to spare. They are set up, ready to go, and relaxing having a bite to eat, killing time until the gallery opening. John Rich has called in the troops from Nashville and it’s awesome. I love how his friends are rallying around the cause. The cowboys have arrived.
Back with the ladies, they waited until the last minute to leave the workspace and are stuck in traffic. The men go to spy on the ladies gallery and see they have not yet arrived. Mark McGrath and Lil Jon pull out a phone and do an episode of MTV Cribs. Who knew hat Lil Jon was so entertaining?
The women are in gridlock and Star Jones uses that at a reason for point a finger at Marlee and comment on how unorganized she is. Bitch. Back with the men, Meatloaf is crying, apologizing to Gary for his outburst. He feels horrible about his behavior and it’s touching. More touching is Gary’s response.
Gary Busey is an evolved human being. I seriously think this man is delicious. He is calm and kind and after his explosion, Meatloaf informs us that he has been to anger management classes. Really? You might want to get your money back Sweetie because it didn’t quite catch. Busey 1 – Meatloaf – 0.
The ladies arrive with 30 minutes to spare and no art has been hung. It looks like a garage sale in comparison to the men who have a real gallery. The schmoozing and selling begins and the money starts to roll in. Everyone is bringing in the money, except for Richard Hatch. Again, he’s useless.
The men are jamming, the women have no visitors, but then she arrives. Jill Zarin turns up with her husband Bobby and like magic, it turns around and the money starts rolling in for the women. I love Jill Zarin and don’t care what the crazy Bethenny loving fanatics think. Jill is fabulous, looks great, and I dig her.
A little boy named Colin, who is a patient at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, which is the charity for John Rich, arrives and it’s lovely. He is a precious little boy and you snap out of the madness for a minute to see how important this silly show is. Bless them all for raising so much money.
Sitting through 2 hours of Celebrity Apprentice is worth it for 30 seconds of NeNe Leakes talking about Star Jones. John Rich sells his guitar for $470,000.00 and his reaction to the money made me cry. What is wrong with me? I am now crying at Celebrity Apprentice? Dear Lord help me.
In the boardroom Gary is again a gentleman and Meatloaf is a loser. He still does not say that Gary did nothing, and none of the men have Gary’s back. It’s a shame that they don’t stand up for Gary and the fact that he did nothing wrong. Cowards. The only person to stand up for Gary is Marlee.
La Toya Jackson wins $25k for Aids Project Los Angeles which is awesome. The t-shirt she gave up sold for $99,000.00. When she gave it to Marlee she said there were only 2 of them, but to Trump she says it was limited edition. Either way, it raised a ton of money, and allowed Michael to be remembered.
Trump cuts a deal and says if both teams agree, because so much money was raised, both teams can keep whatever they made. They agree. The men raised a total of $626,908.00. The women raised $986,000.00. Trump gives her $14 of his own money and the women are at $1,000,000.00 for Marlee’s charity.
Her interpreter John is crying, I am crying, and it’s magic. It’s so much money and so many people will be helped. Marlee’s charity is the Starkey Hearing Foundation which provides hearing aids, free of charge, to third world countries so people can hear. It’s remarkable and I am so happy for everyone.
Trump tells Marlee that since Jose left she can opt to have no-one fired on the men’s team, or she can have one of them go. She consults with her team and they decide someone should be fired. Bravo. I love it that she says to fire because if she did not it would have been lame. Get lost Richard Hatch.
It’s gross that when Trump pushes for who is the weakest link, the men sell Gary down the river. Such a shame. He is odd to be sure, but he is harmless, doing what is asked of him, and Hatch is a loser. Why sell him out? Why be mean? Mr. all American country boy is, in the end, not that nice.
Hatch is fired. Gary pulls Marlee aside and thanks her for having his back. Next week NeNe takes on La Toya and you know that is going to be good. This is a fun season and as the duds are eliminated, it gets better and better. I don’t know who will win, and don’t care really, but I want NeNe at the end.
McGrath can go, Meatloaf must go, the Playboy chick is invisible, Star Jones is crazy, and Marlee Matlin could take it. NeNe and Gary are stars, Lil Jon is fabulous, and John Rich could win. It’s a fun ride, and I will watch till the end. To La Toya, you are going to be eaten alive so start keeping the faith.