Posted by Ilana Angel
I am always happy when high profile people visit Israel because it sheds light on a place that I love. The thing is, Palin stopping by for two days is not seeing Israel, it is a flyby political ploy, which is fine, but if this visit gets her closer to a bid for the White House, we should all be afraid. She is going to suck up to Israel and I don’t trust her, or even care.
Today Palin toured the Western Wall and tomorrow is planning on having dinner with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. About her visit with Netanyahu she wrote on her website: “As the world confronts sweeping changes and new realities, I look forward to meeting with Prime Minister Netanyahu to discuss the key issues facing his country, our ally Israel.”
When she landed she did not speak to the press, which is no surprise. Unless she is reading off a teleprompter, with the opportunity to edit her message, she does not speak to anyone other than her buddies at FOX News and even then they protect her from ever responding to anything that is not planned out with her responses memorized ahead of time.
Sidebar: Why the hell is she wearing a Star of David necklace? She has never worn one before so why now? Does she think wearing the necklace makes Jews like her more? I would have been more impressed if she had been wearing a Free Gilad Shalit t-Shirt. The necklace is a weak and pathetic attempt at being one of the tribe.
The saddest thing is that she is a really great speaker off the cuff. I have met her and she has a way about her that makes you feel like she has been your friend for years, is genuinely pleased to see you, and cares about what you have to say. If she would trust herself, allow herself to speak, and stop listening to whoever is advising her, she’d be much better off.
I’d still never vote for her, but I would like her more, which I think is something that she needs. Her inability, or perhaps unwillingness, to talk live to anyone about her plans, thoughts, or ideas, makes her scary. Regardless of whether you like her or not, scary trumps likeable so she has got no chance in hell of winning over anyone new with her Kool-Aid.
She could have greeted the press with something simple like she was excited to be in the Holy Land, was looking forward to meeting the people, seeing the culture, but instead she said nothing, which makes her look ridiculous. The statement on her website can be translated into I’m running for President in 2012, which is what I got out of it because her code is so easily deciphered.
I like Sarah Palin the woman not Sarah Palin the politician. If she could blur the line between the two, she’d have a better shot at President. For someone who quit her last political job, and alienates people with her rhetoric, you’d think she would try to get that. I want her never elected to anything, so it’s good she doesn’t understand, and for that I’m still keeping the faith.
5.23.13 at 3:17 pm | Dating, divorce, death, and marriage, all require. . .
5.22.13 at 6:34 am | I am forever touched by this young man.
5.19.13 at 5:43 pm | JDate should be more of a mensch.
5.17.13 at 5:27 pm | I am never going on another coffee date.
5.14.13 at 4:36 pm | Love needs a kick in the ass.
5.11.13 at 12:44 pm | My Mom gets the day off because this one is on me.
5.17.13 at 5:27 pm | I am never going on another coffee date. (392)
5.14.13 at 4:36 pm | Love needs a kick in the ass. (347)
5.19.13 at 5:43 pm | JDate should be more of a mensch. (333)
March 20, 2011 | 10:19 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am 44 years old and not ashamed to say I watch and love Jersey Shore. It’s not so bad when you consider that Mike is pushing 40. That is one old situation. These people make me laugh. Snooki and Deena are hilarious as the Lucy and Ethel of Jersey, and you can’t help but love these two.
Even though I never miss an episode, I don’t blog about the show on a regular basis. This week however was a doozey and I felt compelled to share a few thoughts on a couple of key storylines. Let’s start with Sammi and Ronnie. They are horrific and need to be kicked off this show.
First of all, they are not that interesting. Secondly, and more important, they are dangerous in terms of the example they show to young people. Their relationship is abusive, scary, and frankly disgusting. I am surprised that MTV allows them to stay on when they are so unstable.
The level of screaming, derogatory remarks, physical abuse, and disruption to the house should be enough to get them booted out. If this were The Real World they would be gone already. How many times can they hurt each other before it’s enough? What kind of example are they setting?
Are other couples watching and thinking that they can be mean and hurtful to each other and it will be okay because they can make up in the end? Does MTV think we care about these two? They are pathetic losers and a reason to not watch this show. Seriously MTV, they need to go.
Granted, this show is not a moral compass on how to behave, but the debauchery is not dangerous. Sammie and Ron however are courting disaster and it’s not cool. The level of abuse is surprising, not funny, and uncomfortable to watch, especially as the parent of a young man.
It has gone from being train wreck television, to dangerous television, and they need to get the boot. After hearing Sam and Ron say “I’m Done!” forever, it’s now our turn. We’re done. We will still watch if they go. Trust me. Lose them both and get us a couple of new kids. You can do it.
Now let’s talk about Danielle the Israeli chick. We first met her a year ago, and like a bad rash on a hooker, she just won’t go away. I’ve had an interesting ride with this girl. When we first met her, I thought she was gross and wrote about it here: Introduction to Danielle
After that post I got a call from Danielle’s mom Miriam. She spoke to me for hours about how Danielle was manipulated by MTV. She said Danielle had gone back to Israel and could not return to Jersey because she was mortified. You can read that blog here: DId Danielle Get Screwed?
This week was the second time Danielle showed up and humiliated herself, since the time her mother said she was so mortified she could no longer return to Jersey. This “poor girl” not only went back to New Jersey, but she purposely went out of her way to make it back onto the show.
I owe MTV an apology for implying that they painted her in a bad light. This chick is a whack job and if we think she is crazy she has nobody to blame but herself. She and her mother need to get their stories straight and come clean. Danielle is a fame whore who played the game wrong.
She thought she had enough game to play the “I don’t have sex until marriage” card, and have Pauly fall in love with her. Not only is she crazy, she is not that bright. She was in over her head and rather than being the cute Israeli chick, she is the crazy Israeli stalker.
Next week is the season finale of Jersey Shore. I look forward to turning off the world for an hour of mindless fun on Thursdays and will miss it, but I look forward to next season in Italy. It’s a shame Ron and Sam are going, but perhaps they’ll kill each other in Rome. Could happen.
I’m sure I will get a call from Miriam saying she is going to sue me for defamation of character of her daughter. To that I say bring it on. I will blog next week for a season wrap up. Will Danielle be spared from my wrath next week? No, so she might want to keep the faith.
March 17, 2011 | 3:54 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I have received countless emails asking me to update you on my friend Matt. It’s very sweet and touching how many of you have asked how he’s doing. With Matt’s permission, I am going to tell you about the journey that this remarkable man is on, and how much he appreciates your prayers.
I first met Matt back in early January. I had been on a bad date, saw Matt driving in his truck, lost my mind for a moment, followed him for reasons that I still don’t understand, and ended up asking him out on date. You can read the blog I wrote after meeting Matt here: How I Met Matt
I went out on a date with Matt on January 13th. It was instant love and we spent hours together. It was the single greatest date I have ever had, and he is the most wonderful man I have ever known. He is a dear, dear friend and a soul mate. You can read about our date here: My 1st Date With Matt
Matt has been through some pretty rough chemotherapy. He had cancer when he was younger and the cancer has returned for a second battle. He got through it, rocking a seriously sexy bald head, and is doing okay today. On this St. Patrick’s Day, Matt is on holiday in England.
Matt has decided to live his life and live it large. He is sucking every last drop out of life that he has, building memories and having experiences he has always wanted. He is spending his days laughing, taking deep breathes, and being grateful. He is not dying, simply focused on living.
His goal is to spend his time “laughing, loving, breathing, making love and living”. He has not given up, he is just between battles and since we don’t know how or when the fight will end, he is using this time to live, rather than preparing for what may be his death. I am very proud of him.
To Matt, your postcards are very retro, and I look forward to checking my mail everyday to see what you have sent. I love it that you are sending them to me so I can touch what you have touched, not just read an email. They matter, even the offensive ones that I know you think will upset my mailman.
Matt will be back in Los Angeles in a few days and I am looking forward to picking him up at the airport. My life is better with you in it Matt and I pray you come home safe, rested, and ready to battle, because I’m not letting you go. You are my friend and my prayers are following you wherever you go.
Thanks to everyone for your prayers to Matt. I have read every single one of your messages to Matt and they make him happy. Particularly the ones from all the ladies. As for the woman in Chicago who said she wanted a date, Matt says he’s game and will email you when he gets home.
You never know who you will cross paths with in life. I thank God for the moment of insanity that made me follow a stranger in a truck. I’m sending love to Matt, gratitude to my readers, prayers to Japan, and the very best wishes to everyone battling cancer. Be strong and keep the faith.
March 16, 2011 | 12:56 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I waited to write about the Bachelor finale because it took this long for my eyes to stop bleeding and my anger to dissipate a little. I invested hours and hours into this show with the hopes that they would give us a happy ending and they disappointed once again. I’m done watching.
Instead of calling it The Bachelor/Bachelorette, it should be changed to “Loser Fame Whores”. I’m officially announcing that I will no longer watch this show and therefore not blog about it. It’s been a fun run and by fun run of course I mean this show makes me want to cut myself.
All that said, there is no way I’m leaving this hell train without having one final word. I’m going out with no intention of pissing anyone off, simply speaking my mind on a show that began as an entertaining experiment on love, to a laughable and pathetic look at a bunch of celebrity whores.
I want someone to explain to me why Brad’s twin brother does not have an accent or speak like he is in slow motion like Brad. Didn’t they grow up together? Chad is normal and Brad is ridiculous. The sound of his voice is making me want to scratch all my skin off with a kitchen knife. It is torture to watch and I’m only minute seven.
Chantal meets the family first and I am certain that she has her shirt on backwards. She tells the family that “really made me knew” and at that point I stopped listening because she is not speaking in English and I don’t understand her. Dear Lord, step away from the knives Ilana.
Chantal is talking to the mom, Brad is talking to his brothers, and I’m am fast forwarding. Emily meets the family and she is lovely. I really dig her. I listen to them talking to her, but only a little because I am now making a margarita. Back to the fast forwarding. Knife is on the table.
Emily is talking to Brad’s mom, she is crying and I don’t care enough to listen. Instead I am pouring an extra shot into my drink and sharpening my knife. Brad is talking to his family and I am fearful that I will throw up what I ate for dinner, but I’m not wasting a purge on Brad Womack.
The family loves Emily and tells Brad to pick her. He is now spewing crap about his big decision and I am skipping over all of it. Chantal and Brad are going to swim the sharks and it’s stupid. Who does this when it is clearly not something they want to do? Fame whores, that’s who.
Chantal and Brad are on their last date and he tells her it feels like he’s know her for 5 years. It’s so random that I cannot stop laughing. I’ve been drinking, but still, this is funny. 5 years? Really? Is there a special way one feels when they’ve known you for 5 years? Loser.
Chantal says she has travelled the world for him and it says a lot about how she feels for him. Really? You did it because it was free, not because it was this big sacrifice you did for the man you love. I want to now scratch her skin off so she can snap out of her bubble.
She has made him a gift but I’m fast-forwarding. Brad and Emily are now going on a helicopter ride to Cape Hope. Sidebar: Most romantic and fabulous date ever and it is wasted on Brad. He never should have been the Bachelor once, let alone twice. Dufus.
Why does Emily get boring sit around and drink dates and Chantal gets to swim with the sharks? Emily wants to talk about the responsibilities of taking on a woman with a child and he can’t get out a sentence that makes any sense. He may have the brain of a 4 year old, only not as smart.
Emily comes over and when Brad starts talking I pick up the knife and wait. He says he wants a chance to be Ricky’s father. He doesn’t want to be a step-dad, but a real dad. His speech makes me want to punch him in the face and his reaction to Emily’s reaction makes me laugh.
Emily is questioning him to make sure he understands what he is getting into. He is hyperventilating, she is beating a dead horse, he is getting mad and may pass out. Freaking awesome. Not enough for me to care, but still, super cringe worthy, which is fantastic.
I love Emily but Brad is painful to watch. He needs water and probably a paramedic, and she is worried she ruined it. It makes her endearing. Totally annoying and a bit of a broken record, but endearing. He is taking it all personally and says he is hurt and upset. Maybe he’ll hit something!
Brad it spewing crap, Neil Lane comes with the rings and Brad picks a gorgeous one. I can’t listen to him anymore. If I smoked I’d be on my 3rd pack by now. The girls are getting ready and could be talking but I’m skipping over it and have no idea what they are saying.
Chantal arrives first, looks beautiful, and is amazingly calm considering there is a bird laying an egg on her shoulder. He tells her she looks amazing and she nods in agreement which is funny. She is gazing at him with love in her eyes as he dumps her.
She is crying and he is lying. She is classy and tells him that he is amazing and Emily is lucky. They stand around awkwardly while horrible music plays because the show is trying to fill 2 hours. He walks her to the car and she is sobbing, unclear of what just happened. I feel for her.
Not bad enough to listen to her farewell speech, but still bad. Sidebar: What did people do before TIVO and they were watching a train wreck? We are the luckiest people in the world to have this technology. God Bless TIVO. I love you because you are literally saving my life. Knife is down.
Emily arrives. Chris Harrison walks her to the garden. Totally worth the cost of bringing him to South Africa. Brad keeps clearing his throat and the knife is back in my hand. He asks her to marry him. Sadly, our beloved and divine Emily says yes. Wrong answer bless her heart.
Cut to After the Final Rose and the rose colored glasses are off. Chantal comes out first, looking cute, in a new relationship but still clearly in love with Brad. Her new boyfriend must be pissed. I can’t listen at the moment because I am making another drink and cleaning up the blood.
She is questioning when he knew it wasn’t her, and Brad goes into full-blown asshole mode. He says he had her stick around because she was fun, (and probably because she put out), and tries to make all her feelings for him mean nothing. Brad Woman sucks and is a schmuck.
She is crying, he is stuttering, and she should be thanking her lucky stars that he dumped her. She deserves better. Chantal leaves and Brad tells Chris he is in love with Emily, she is the one, and he wants to marry her. The audience claps and he throws in an Elvis Vegas thank you. Putz.
Emily comes out and looks gorgeous. She has fixed her hair color and is lovely. She says she loves Brad, but she is not ready to marry him right now. They need to learn how to fight and communicate. She has no plans to move to Austin to be with him, but considers them engaged.
She says he is volatile and as they sit there I am reminded of the Mike Tyson, Robin Givens interview when she says he hits her and he says nothing. She comes across as really great and he comes across as a moron. I am on drink 3, and now have a bigger knife in hand.
Emily is talking about how Brad has a temper and it’s weird. What does that mean? The have “knock down, beat up” fights and it’s odd that they would admit such a thing. She is clearly well on her way to being over him and I figure they have a couple more weeks before they are over.
Trista and Ryan, Jason and Molly, Ali and Roberto are back to tell them how it all works and what they need to focus on. I’m skipping over it all. Who cares? Emily is trying to be strong and Brad looks like he’s on the verge of tears. It’s all quite sad. By sad of course I mean who cares?
Chris shows them the engagement and Emily puts her head on Brad’s shoulder and leans in while Brad leans the other way, away from her. Two weeks and it’s kaput is my prediction. Brad gives Emily the ring again and she looks at him and says “just you and me”. Dear me.
I made it to the final minute and “just you and me” made me cry. It was lovely. At the end of the day we watch for love to be found so I hope they find it. I am no longer watching this show. I wish Brad and Emily well. As for my own search for love, I am keeping the faith.
March 15, 2011 | 11:03 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
This week Bethenny is looking more and more skeletal. Someone needs to give this girl a sandwich and have her eat more than just one bite. We see her eating a lot of things but it’s only one bite. She is painfully thin and her face now looks stretched against her bones.
We start with Bethenny taking the baby and dog for a walk. It’s fascinating that she is walking around with a camera crew, yet needs to duck from the one paparazzi on her street. She hides behind some guy who has no clue who she is which is great. Her ego is massive.
Bethenny is telling us about how brilliant she is by inventing her margarita. She and Jason are talking to a store owner about how sales. Jason is sweet and shakes his hand as they leave, Bethenny is rude and does not shake his hand when she leaves his store. Bitchy.
Jason tells her he is worried for the storeowner as he is losing business and she responds by saying there are tons of “him” across the country. She is so self absorbed and selfish that I find her painful. I can’t turn it off, but I am completely put off by her. I now watch to see everyone but Bethenny.
Jason is nervous about working with Bethenny on her business. Let’s talk about Jason for a minute. He is great. Smart, funny, charming, handsome and loves his wife. How he puts up with her is a mystery. I don’t know how he does it, especially when she is so horrible to his family.
Nick, the young man who she interviewed to be her assistant, is a total foodie and she loves him. She invites him over to discuss writing a blog about food for her website. He is a sweet guy and I find him endearing. I find her offensive and can see her buying her own hype as she speaks.
Bethenny talks in interviews about how Jason wanted her to quit the housewives show because it was too much. Really? How does he feel about their show? She is everywhere, for things that make no sense, talking about how she loves her alone time with Bryn. I would be annoyed.
Nick the foodie comes over because she likes him, and just as quick as she makes me sick, I love her. I love Bethenny for loving Nick. I love Nick. I think he is really lovely and that she gets it is nice. Then she is mean and the moment of love is gone. She ruins it all in less than a minute.
Nick meets the baby and immediately says to Bryn that it’s nice to meet her. He is so cute. This is a great kid and I hope something good happens for him. I wish she would stop calling him unusual. Every time she talks about him, or sees him, she is a little mean and needs to stop.
Bethenny is now at a photo shoot. Someone comes up to Julie and asks if they want something to eat, Bethenny answers no they don’t. Then cut to Julie sitting and working, and Bethenny eating. She just comes across as egomaniacal and selfish. Bethenny. Bethenny. Bethenny.
Gina comes to the photo shoot with Bryn and is talking about how she is getting screwed by her husband. Bethenny tells us Gina is separated and there are problems. Maybe there are problems because she has been with Bethenny forever, and should go home to handle her business.
We’re in therapy and I like her therapist. He is a good egg. Bethenny is talking about how she wants Jason to be working with her on the business. The therapist is talking about Jason and Bethenny answers every question about her not Jason. It’s fascinating how she does it.
Bethenny Frankel is able to make every subject on the planet about her. If you have a headache, she’s got a migraine. If you have a stomachache, she has an ulcer. She one-ups everyone. I have seriously never seen anyone master their ego like this woman does.
Bethenny takes Gina for a mani/pedi for her birthday. It’s a nice gesture but then she takes all the niceness out of it by trying to be funny, but being rude. She gives a compliment then snaps it away. I love you here’s a spa treat, you have hooves and they will charge me extra.
It’s not nice. There is a way to be funny and sharp-tongued without being mean. Gina is talking about her struggles, and then Bethenny starts crying and makes it all about her. How does she do it? How does she manage to make a special day for someone else all about her? How and why?
Bethenny is talking about Max and how she needs to fire him. Sidebar: When Bethenny is in the kitchen, with no make-up, hair a mess, in her pajamas, she looks beautiful. It’s the prettiest she has ever looked. She is cooking and slamming Max for being short and a fame whore.
Max comes over and Bethenny is horrible to him. Granted he is a schmuck and was only there for his 15 minutes, but she is slamming him. He is a kid, and she set the tone for their relationship, but is not taking responsibility for any of it. She is on the warpath and he can’t be saved.
Max is fired while Bethenny checks her email. She fires him without a hug, but a casual “see you later”. He bought her underwear, and her crib, and she could have given him a hug, thanked him, and let him go. Instead she embarrassed him for no other reason than to show she is serious.
Jason is putting together a toy and Bethenny is shooting daggers at him for being slow. He wakes up Bryn and she covers the baby’s mouth. It was a weird reaction. Was she trying to shut her up? Stop her from crying? She cannot let Jason do it, jumps in and does it herself. Expected.
Bethenny is whoring herself out to another event and Jason goes with her. He is talking to everyone, being charming and she the invited speaker, is sitting with her assistant not talking or mingling with anyone. She tries to be funny, humiliates him, and wraps it up. Interesting.
Nick and Bethenny go to a street food fair. He does not eat pork but takes a bite by accident and he handles it so sweetly. I love Nick. Bethenny takes off and leaves him behind. She calls Jason and asks him to come join them, but manages to do it while slamming Nick. Bethenny is rude.
Sidebar: Does Bethenny not know that everything she says will come back to bite her in the ass? She calls Jason a douche, and likes to talk badly about people, yet her fanatics get all bent out of shape when I speak in an unflattering way about their girl. Whatever. Hypocrites.
Bethenny sure does drink a lot. By a lot of course I mean all the time, including in the park with her baby which I think s weird. They throw a party for Gina and she says she will be staying for a few more months. Who has a baby burse until their baby is 1? Apparently Bethenny does.
Jason helps her with her business, she says thank you, that she loves him, and the whole time you can hear the cash register ringing in her ears. In the teaser for next week and we see we can expect her to be mean to Jason’s parents. At some point she’ll need to be shut it down.
Bethenny has moments to keep her endearing, but those are fading. I am watching now for Jason and for Nick. They are fabulous and enough to keep me tuning in. Plus Bethenny is going to have a meltdown at any moment. I hope I can hang in long enough to see it, so I’m keeping the faith.
March 12, 2011 | 9:21 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am sure that Gene Simmons’ mother is proud of him. He is a good Jewish kid who followed his dreams and ended up with fame and fortune. While I’m sure she loves his long-time girlfriend and their two kids, there must be a tiny part of her that is disappointed he didn’t settle down with a Jewish girl.
Any bad feelings she may have felt must now be completely forgiven. What could he have done to inspire such forgiveness and love from his mother? He is putting his face on a condom! As a Jewish mother, I can tell you that nothing would make me prouder of my son than his face on a condom.
Gene Simmons is the king of marketing and branding his name and likeness. You can find KISS on just about anything and I am surprised it took him this long to break into the condom market. Perhaps “break” is not a word you want associated with condoms, but you know what I mean.
A company called Graphic Armor Inc. is releasing new “Picture Condoms”. They meet all FDA requirements and claim to be the first to feature full-color images right on the latex. The first set of condoms will be branded with the rock band Kiss, and show Simmons’ tongue in all it’s glory.
The condoms will cost $7.99 for a package of 3. Really? Are people going to pay 8 bucks for 3 condoms? An even more interesting question is who exactly are these people? Is there a man who will be able to maintain arousal with Gene Simmons and his tongue staring up at him?
We are all aware of the tremendous gift Mr. Simmons’ mouth has been blessed with and I would be lying if I said I was not curious and frankly excited at the possibility of coming in contact with it, but when I said I’d like to “give that a go”, I can assure you I was not talking about a condom.
Gene, we all know you are a branding whore, and good for you! You have kept yourself and your band front and center for decades after you began, but condoms? Really? There is now officially nothing in the world that cannot be purchased with your face on it. Mazel Tov.
A man is a serious KISS fan to be able to perform sexually with Simmons right there in the mix, and a girl is bold to ask her man to wrap it up with Gene’s tongue. It’s weird and I’m going to pass. That said, if Gene doesn’t do it for you, Paul Stanley will be coming in summer.
The sexual innuendos in this piece are never ending and if I were having a drink I’d be having a field day. Gene must really need the money to put his face on another man’s penis, so God Bless him. Jewish mothers are telling their sons they can achieve anything, just look at Gene!
To be honest, while I am 100% certain I will not use this product, I will be buying it out of pure curiosity. I will buy it, marvel at it, laugh at it, and then toss it. By toss it of course I mean save it. Will my son ever put his face on a condom? No. But just in case, I’m keeping the faith.
March 11, 2011 | 10:05 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I wrote an article a few days ago about the “dating” site Ashley Madison. I said I thought it was disgusting and no surprise here, women agreed and men did not. The founder of Ashley Madison wrote me and said I was angry, but when given an opportunity to talk about it, he declined. Coward.
I got an interesting email from a reader this week about that article, and it was actually compelling. He explained that he has been married for 20 years, loves his wife, has built a life with her, enjoys being with her, but they have not had sex is about 7 years, so he was on the Ashley Madison site.
He explained he was never going to leave his wife. He loved and respected her, and just because she was not interested in having sex anymore, it was not a reason to leave her. I asked if she knew he was sleeping with other people, and he said he did not think she knew, and did not need to know.
It poses the question: can you have a happy marriage if you are sleeping with someone other than your spouse? One could argue that while you may be happy, the lack of sexual intimacy does not make it a marriage. I’m fascinated by the topic both as a Jew and as a woman.
Adultery is the only sexual offense recorded in the Ten Commandments. It is also in the “Holiness Code” of Leviticus 20. The Book of Genesis calls adultery “the great sin” and the Talmud calls adultery ha’averah (the sin par excellence). According to rabbinic tradition, it is one of the three sins that people should avoid even at the pain of death.
The gravity of adultery is evident by the fact the Bible describes the offense as being punishable by the death penalty for both the man and the woman. Separate from the reasons it is not cool in Judaism, as a woman it would crush me. If in that situation would end my marriage.
If you like having sex with more than one person then why get married at all? Can people really separate the act of sex from the emotion of sex? I believe that many people can, but that has nothing to do with the fact that marriage includes vows.
I have written about this subject before and I will stand by what I have always said, there is a moment, when being intimate, where he looks at you and you are certain in that exact moment that he loves you, and you love him. It will make your heart flutter and it’s powerful.
If I was married, and my husband cheated, he would have that moment with another woman and it would be devastating. I am also of the opinion that a marriage without sex cannot be satisfying. Unless there is a medical reason you are not having sex, you should be having sex.
And even then, intercourse is not the only way to please your partner, and there are ways to maintain intimacy that are important and required within a marriage. If you are not satisfying each other then going outside the marriage becomes an option, but then so does divorce.
We are animals and monogamy is not natural, but being monogamous is a major part of being married. I find it unlikely that the woman who is married to the man who wrote me, does not know he is sleeping with other women. She may not however know about Ashley Madison.
We may not be made for monogamy, but we are also not made for celibacy. The Catholic church has proven that. Sex is complicated and while people like to think they can separate the act from the emotion, it’s just not that simple and a sexless marriage is, at its core, not a happy one.
Sex is important. It’s a wonderful part of being a grown up and there is a safety that comes with marriage that should allow you to swing from the rafters, not turn the other cheek while your spouse is sleeping with someone else. Sex has to be a priority and with that, monogamy.
One could argue Ashley Madison is necessary. People are going to cheat, so why not give them a safe place to find someone? The thing is, Ashley Madison is sleazy. I created a phantom profile and in the time I was researching the site I was bombarded with sleaze and grossness.
I am certain there are nice people on there, who are lonely and frustrated. I believe that they are exploring their options in a way that is, in their minds, respectful to their spouses. That said, I am willing to wager that those people are the minority and the sleazebags are the majority.
To the man who wrote me, you were articulate in your explanation and I find myself feeling bad for you, and therefore understanding why you do it. I feel strongly however that deep in your wife’s heart, she knows you are cheating, chooses to stay, and is devastated.
I am not here to judge, only to share my personal opinions on a topic I find interesting. I personally have ended a relationship due to infidelity and think about it a lot. I loved him, we were to be married, and I wonder if I overreacted and should have stayed in the relationship.
In the end, staying would have meant I valued him and his needs over my own, and that is not something I would be able to live with. Cheating is painful and sex is complicated. Ashley Madison can try to make us believe it is doing a good thing, but in the end I’m not buying it.
Sex, love and marriage are very powerful things and if you are blessed to have all three things with the same person, the prize you win should be monogamy. I am searching for love and in the end I want the prize. It’s not too much to ask, so I will hold onto my beliefs and keep the faith.
*If you are in Los Angeles this Monday night, Tribe Media Corp. is presenting a special evening entitled “Have Jews Given Up on the Ten Commandments?”.
March 10, 2011 | 2:35 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I love my son. Really, really love him. He is the greatest person I know, my hero, my inspiration, and my one great love. I have never known anyone who gave me such joy, yet caused me as many headaches. He is a blessing and each and every day that I get to be his mom is truly a gift from God.
He’s getting ready to leave me and while it is the most exciting thing ever, it also breaks my heart. My whole life is wrapped up in this kid and when he leaves for college my heart will be busting with pride and the silence left when he goes, will be deafening. I can’t wait and am also a little scared.
What will I do with all my time? Date? I don’t think so. I need to do my dating now so that when he goes, I’m able to stay busy with my beau. It’s important that I be in a relationship when he heads off to school. By important, of course I mean it is imperative and simply must happen.
I have written about my son’s thoughts about college before. He has wanted to go to NYU for as long as I can remember. It’s his dream, and I have always just assumed it’s where he would go. He has made it very clear to me that if I am not in a relationship when he is set to go, he won’t.
He says he will stay in LA and go to a local school so I am not left alone. Seriously, how fabulous is this delicious boy? I love him and as I have told him a million times, over my dead body will this remarkable child give up his dreams for me. He is going to NYU and we are not discussing it.
So this blog has been my about my journey to find love, and prepare for my boy to go to college, so he can actually go away to college and I can have a grown up relationship, that includes adult relations, before I forget what that is, how to do it, or I fall in love with a rabbit.
My dating life has been horrible lately. I’ve had a series of dates with gross men, dates with men who were not into me, and dates with men that I was just not into. I have a type, but am completely able to think outside the box and be open to finding love in someone unexpected.
The thing is, it’s a lot of work. I love my cat and she requires no work. She does not care if I wear my glasses, or if my hair is in a ponytail. I can wear flannel pajamas to bed and she never complains when I watch reality television. She is the least complicated relationship in my life.
Would it not be easier to get a few more cats and just call it a day? Yes it would, but here’s the thing, my son needs to go to NYU and he is not going to go if I opt for a life as a cat lady, over a life that includes love. So I need to pick myself up and just keep going.
I’m not excited to jump back into online dating but I will. It’s a shame JDate is hell on earth because Jews are my preference. Perhaps I will ease back into it with Match or eHarmony. I have no idea where I will go, but I will go because it’s the best thing for me and my son.
There is a man for me, and God willing we will find each other. It could, will, and must happen. Of course I will be fine if it does not. I can always ask my friend Andy to marry me so my kid will go to NYU. If Andy says no I’ll ask his husband Patrick. He might do it, for a few bucks.
I am going to put the brakes on my trip to Cat Lady Land and put myself back on the online dating hell train. There will be a few bumps in my search but it’s all good because at the very least, I will get a few great blogs out of it and hopefully no more dates will vomit on my shoes.
I love my kid, myself, my cat, and men, so how hard can it be? The truth is it’s near impossible but I believe I can beat the odds and find my beshert. I have God on my side so if I throw in some hope, prayer and time, it will happen. I am thinking positive, and keeping the faith.