Posted by Ilana Angel
In an attempt to think outside the box and not get caught up in my ridiculous restrictions about dating, I decided to go out with a younger man, a much younger man. He is a whopping 12 years my junior. When I got married, he could not even drive yet. That’s a lot of time. He is 7 years younger than my baby brother, which is just wrong.
He wrote me on match.com and he was charming and very handsome. He was very flattering and for a moment my ego took over and I forgot about how young he was, and focused on how young he made me feel. We chatted for a couple of weeks on the phone and he texted me everyday to say hello and see how I was. I finally agreed to a date.
We met for a drink and it was great. He was funny and attentive. He was complimentary and remembered all the things we had talked about on the phone. He was incredibly handsome and I found myself giggling and playing with my hair while we chatted. We spent a couple of hours together, talking and laughing on a great date.
At the end of the evening we kissed and let me just say, it was the kind of kiss that makes me want to suggest to every woman over the age of forty, once in your life, smooch a younger man. It is exciting, empowering, inspiring and so wrong that it feels incredibly right. I found myself thinking about Demi Moore and believing she was a smart girl.
After chatting for a long time, texting everyday, a great date, and an even better kiss, I did not hear from him for 4 days. 4 days. He finally got in touch, by text, and sent the brilliant message, “hey”. That was enough to snap me out of my ego driven craziness. I was talking myself into him, he blew me off and I am surprised to report it made me sad.
I don’t think he did not call because he was young, and I am completely okay with him not calling because he was just not that into me. I’m not sad he did not call, but rather because I convinced myself he was going to call and when he didn’t it was disappointing. If he had called, then it would have made my slip of judgment okay because he was a mensch.
In the end it does not matter that he did not call, so rather than trying to figure out why, I will simply assume he is a douche lord with no manners, and move on. As I was repairing my ego, I went to get a massage and grabbed dinner with my friend Anjelica. Anjelica and I have been friends for twenty years and she is always able to repair my ego much faster than I am.
So we’re at dinner and chatting about the young douche lord. She tells me I need to not get sidetracked, go back online and meet someone else. I tell her there is a guy I think is really funny and quite attractive. I log onto match.com with my iPhone and show her the man’s profile. He is 53, Jewish, divorced, funny, and looks like the type of man I dig.
She tells me I should write him. I tell her it would never work because he is too far, living down in one of the southern beach cities like Hermosa/Redondo/Manhattan or somewhere in that area. She tells me I need to get over myself, it’s not that far, and I should just email him and let him know I liked his profile and thought he was interesting.
Right there, at dinner, I sent him a message. It only took him about 5 minutes to respond. He let me know he thought I really cute, but his last girlfriend lived in the valley and the 405 freeway was a bitch, and he could never date anyone in the valley again. Really? I got blown off because of a freeway? Only in LA would traffic be a reason to not date.
It was an interesting weekend. I was reminded that I am in fact getting old, and that the valley, for a large part of the population of Los Angeles, is geographically undesirable. Whatever. It was a blessing these unfortunate things happened on Super Bowl weekend. Nothing can make a girl feel better like watching gorgeous men running around in tight pants.
I had a lot of work to catch up on, so I settled in on the couch with my laptop, a glass of wine, a bag of pretzels and the cats. We turned on the game and all was well in the world. A couple of things to note: Christina Aguilera went in front of a billion people and forgot the words to the national anthem. Really? It was embarrassing.
When she realized she forgot the words, she tried to weave sentences together and then was off a few beats so she sang super long notes and it sounded like a really bad American Idol audition. Poor thing. She should have asked her genie in a bottle to teach her the words to the Star Spangled Banner, and perhaps for a more flattering outfit.
Speaking of horrible performances and really bad clothes, let’s chat about the Black Eyed Peas for a second. Really? I feel like the Peas have been performing at the opening of envelopes and their show was the same thing we’ve seen them do forever. It was not exciting, or interesting, or entertaining. Just when I thought they hit rock bottom, there was Slash.
Who the hell cares? It was horrible. When Usher came out I started praying that he would sing for 2 seconds and then announce Justin Bieber, but no. It was just him and the Peas. I guess they can be proud of themselves for putting on the most horrible halftime show in the history of the Super Bowl. That is something to be proud of I guess.
Super Bowl XVL started out one sided but ended up being a very exciting game. I was pulling for the Packers to win as they were the favorite team of my dad and I know he would have been cheering them on. It was a great game and during the early moments I found another reason to love football. I got a good look at the divine tuchas of Mr. James Starks.
Mr. Starks is 6’2”, 211 pounds and will turn 25 on February 25th. I had never heard of him until the big game when he carried the ball 11 times for a total of 52 yards. During the fabulous 52 yards of Mr. Starks, the cameramen at FOX Sports were generous in proving us several shots of this man’s backside. Dear Lord, let me just say, it is the cutest bum ever.
You could pop a quarter off of it. This is a talented young man with a great career in front of him, and perfection behind him. I managed to get my work done, enjoy the game, and thanks to Tivo, spend some quality time admiring Mr. Starks assets. Congratulations to the Green Bay Packers on their win. It was great game, for a lot of reasons.
If the young man I went on a date with is reading, get some manners. To the gentleman that lives at the beach, whatever, the valley rocks. To Christina and the Peas, wow, epic fail. To Mr. Starks, thank you for a great game and a great view. Have a great week everyone. Drive safe, be kind to strangers, love your kids, feel gratitude, and remember to keep the faith.
12.5.13 at 3:16 pm | Heaven has received a blessing today.
12.3.13 at 3:05 pm | Every time I go into the kitchen I half expect to. . .
11.30.13 at 10:42 am | "The only correct actions are those that demand. . .
11.29.13 at 1:56 pm | My nest will never empty as my son will always be. . .
11.28.13 at 7:59 am | Think. Laugh. Cry.
11.26.13 at 7:06 am | God places love where we don't always see it.
7.25.11 at 5:38 pm | We need more Jews! (295)
12.3.13 at 3:05 pm | Every time I go into the kitchen I half expect to. . . (243)
9.15.13 at 3:14 pm | I love you Russell Brand. (242)
February 6, 2011 | 3:14 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I have no blog today, only a public wish that Green Bay wins Super Bowl XLV.
I remember watching football with my dad as a kid, and he loved the Packers. If my dad were alive today, he would be cheering on Green Bay, so I am pulling for them on behalf of my dad, who loved this game.
Enjoy the game and thanks to the troops who are protecting us so we can enjoy this day.
I love and miss you Dad.
God Bless America.
God Bless the troops.
GO GREEN BAY!
And one more thing….
I love you Aaron Rodgers.
February 3, 2011 | 9:21 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
Online dating sucks. There is a one in a million chance you might meet someone great so we do it, but to be clear, the other 999,999 people you come across are painful. When I read a profile I know I am going see something interesting because online dating profiles are fascinating. By fascinating, of course I mean occasionally weird and scary.
There are a lot of dating sites, so no matter what you are looking for, you can find someone online. Sadly, I have been on a lot of sites. I do it because it’s a necessary evil of the dating game, and also for “research”. I write a blog that includes my dating life so one could argue my daing online is a job requirement. Pathetic? Yes it is. Thanks.
I have been on Match.com for a while and it’s been great. Statistically, it’s where I have met the most “normal” men. There are a lot of members so your odds are better, but also people there seem easily separated into two groups. There are those with potential, and those who are clearly not well. After reading so many profiles I’m getting good at telling the difference.
If someone writes that they like to “end each day with a few beers to take the edge off”, chances are he’s not a match for me. One of my personal favorites is the man who wrote, “I prefer a woman who has less than 5% body fat because the only thing that should shake on a date is the earth”. It’s men like these that make me want to give up on love and get another cat.
I was on and off of JDate for years. I learned a lot during my dating experience there. The main lesson being that Jewish men have no idea what their height is. I don’t think I ever went out with a man on JDate who was the actual height that he listed on his profile. As a Jewish woman who is looking for a Jewish man, JDate was the most disappointing dating site.
My favorite profile from JDate read as follows, “I was raised Jewish and go to temple for the high holidays, but I am open to dating women who are not Jewish because my tolerance for whining, complaining, and withholding sex is limited.” His mother must be so proud. Perhaps she was his teacher in these life lessons. This guy was listed as 5’9”, which means he was 5’6”. Oy vey.
eHarmony is an interesting site. In theory, it sounds like it would be the most successful, as it is the most focused. They talk about honesty, and different levels of compatibility, but there is no guarantee that people are going to tell the truth. I have seen men on eHarmony that are on other sites, and their profiles are completely different from one to the other.
I like to think people are inherently good, and if they tell small lies while searching for love, it comes from a place of hope, not to hurt someone. I think it’s easier to lie on eHarmony. The questionnaire is painfully long and takes thought to fill out. When you have so much time to fill out a form, you click what you think sounds good, so eHarmony can be misleading.
Then you have Plenty of Fish. I’m new on this site, but it’s been the most fun. When you are new on a site it’s like sharks to chum. People are on their best behavior and compliments are flowing. I’m sure the novelty will fade, and I will come across a few kooks, but the men who have written have been lovely. There is a certain honesty on Plenty of Fish that is refreshing.
If someone is looking for something casual, they write that is what they want, not that they are hoping to get married one day, and I dig that. There are lots of people online who are looking for lots of things, and you can find all of it on Plenty of Fish. The good news is that people there seem to be clear on what they want and not afraid to be honest about it.
The thing about all these sites is that there are Jews everywhere. Not only are there Jews, but there are non-Jews who are open and accepting and dating Jews. I think that is important. Peace comes when religion is set aside, so even though I like to date Jews, that there are people who are open to all faiths, even in this silly context, I think is a nice thing.
One other part about Plenty of Fish that is worth mentioning, is that it’s totally free. For everyone. Putting people on an even playing field. It’s lovely that anyone can go on and search for love, regardless of what their finances are. Even the wealthiest of people can get resentful to pay $50 a month to meet a bunch of schmucks. Searching for free is a good thing.
If you are not paying for something, it takes the pressure off. You can search comfortably because there is nothing at stake financially. If you are rushing to meet someone, so you don’t have to pay for another month, you can take your time, be more selective, and not worry about it. While Plenty of Fish has no track record with me, it makes online dating a little less painful.
Since Prince Charming is clearly not going to ride up to my home, knock on the door, and sweep me off my feet, online dating is a part of my life. As long as I take it seriously, without taking it too seriously, I will be fine. I might meet someone great, so even if the chances are slim, I’m willing to try. All it takes patience, a sense of humor, and the ability to keep the faith.
February 2, 2011 | 8:51 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
After a huge build up, the second half of the reunion kind of fizzled out. It was good, but not as great as they would have wanted us to believe. These women gave us a great show that was fun to watch, but when they are all together in a room, having time to think about what to say, they are not nearly as interesting as when they are caught up in their lives and forget the cameras are rolling.
Camille was the focus of the reunion and in the end I found myself liking her, which was unexpected. She came across as a bitch, which I imagine she is, but during the reunion it would appear that the real bitch of the season is Kyle. Kyle went into the reunion looking to paint Camille as horrible but in the end, she looked mean spirited. Camille is more dumb than bitchy, but Kyle is pure bitchy.
Lisa was lovely during the show and was lovely last night. She is the only one who was never a bitch and always real. I feel bad about the whole situation with Cedric. Poor Cedric. He’s attractive but insanely stupid. His lies started to unravel and he wasn’t smart enough to patch the lies together. If you are going to say your mother is a whore you don’t know, best to not have sisters who prove you’re a liar.
The interview with Cedric was a waste of time. Who cares that he is acting and who cares about his opinion? He is not a housewife, he is a leech and we don’t believe anything he says, so why interview him at all? I thought it was a crappy thing for Andy to do. The time would have been better spent talking to the ladies about the season. Cedric is a pig and a lowlife and Andy including him, hows he is too.
Taylor looked sad which was hard to watch. She is trying to save her marriage and so good for her. She is a pretty girl and I feel for her. I am not buying the sweet southern girl thing though because there is a hardcore bitch waiting just under the surface. She is a mean girl and the scariest mean girl is a pretty one. I like her but would be careful ladies because she might flip to the dark side.
Andy gets into a fun conversation about sex and then takes it back to Cedric. If he is a fame whore who was using her for money and fame, then why spend so much time talking about him? He got exactly what he wanted. Andy focused a lot of the show on him, which was lame. Lame and boring. In the end Lisa and Ken are the greatest couple on this show and so enough with Cedric. We don’t care Andy.
The dynamic between Kyle and Kim is sad to watch. Kyle, while my favorite during the season, is a total bitch, especially when it comes to her sister. I get that it’s a television show and we don’t know the history, or what goes on in private, but Kyle shoved her sister under the bus and I think that was gross. Kyle started crying and I don’t think it had anything to do with Kim, it was trying to get us to feel sorry for her.
Kyle sees her popularity slipping away and the more Andy calls her out on being mean to Kim, the harder she cried and I’m not buying it. Kim them bursts into tears and it’s heartbreaking. She is the one who was hurt, yet she is defending Kyle and her actions. It’s all very sad. I feel bad for Kim and I hope she will be okay. Kyle is a bully and if Kim is drinking, she can take some of the responsibility for that.
Her tears seemed fake, there was no apology, and even when Kyle asked if she could swap places with Camille and sit next to Kim, she just sat there. Did not hug her, or tell her she was sorry. Kim was saying over and over that she loved her, and was a lady about the situation, but Kyle just sat there making no effort to comfort Kim. It pissed me off to watch. Kyle still could not do the right thing by her sister.
Kyle had so many opportunities to say she was sorry. She said she wished she could take it back, but never once told her sister she was sorry. Kim is classy and trying to be nice and Kyle shoves her under the bus again, saying Kim’s take on the whole thing was not completely accurate. There is a history we don’t know about, but regardless of the bigger picture, Kyle is mean and there was no hiding that.
Camille is a little crazy. We get it. I will give her a break because of the crap that was happening in her personal life. She is not looking to pick fights, but Kyle is. Kyle is the worse kind of mean girl. She looks at you, tells you that she loves you, then when you turn away she talks smack. Kyle showing the pictures of Camille in the car was gross and in the end Kyle is gross and cannot be trusted.
It was a season of bitches, bullies, Barbie, bull and big bucks. They are real women with real issues and it was fun to watch. In the end I’m ending the season feeling much different about each of them than I did at the beginning of the season. It will be interesting to see who comes back, and where it will go from here. I wish them well and hope they will all be back for another round and to Kim, keep the faith.
February 1, 2011 | 10:30 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I love my son. Love him. He is a really wonderful human being and he has changed my life. I am closer to God because of my love for this boy and I feel blessed to be his mother and his friend. He is very funny, super smart, and incredibly kind. I am very proud of him and my mind spins when I think about the great things that he will accomplish in his lifetime.
I woke up this morning feeling sad which does not happen often. I am a positive person and it is easy for me to find light in the darkness. Perhaps a better word than sad would be fearful. I am overcome with a feeling today that I can’t quite put my finger on. I don’t like this feeling and all I can think about is if my son will ever really know how much I love him.
My family lives 3000 miles away and they do not see first hand how I am as a mother and the relationship I have built with my son. How will they be able to tell him about me, and what he has meant to me? I have nobody in my life who has seen this journey of motherhood first hand, that can tell him everything I would want him to know in terms of my life and love for him.
There has been no consistent witness to my life and it is making me sad today. I am watching a friend battle cancer and so maybe that is what is triggering this feeling. I feel almost panicked that I need to tell my boy everything about me so that he knows. There is nobody else to tell him, but I’m not sure how to tell him without causing some kind of panic for him.
Maybe someone else is feeling something similar and will share, or maybe it will help somebody who is going though their own moment of panic. I feel lost, but still have hope. With hope comes promise, and on days when it’s hard to find faith, hope is a good back up. Fingers crossed it comes across as brave in it’s honesty, not pathetic, because I don’t look good in pathetic.
I am not working today. It’s not a pity party, as much as it is just a day to regroup, get myself together, and back on track. By the time my son gets home from school, I will be back to my happy go lucky self and everything will be okay. I am going to allow myself to have a good cry, and let everything fall apart for just a minute. Crying will be a good release.
After I have a good cry, I will spend a couple of hours in bed with George Clooney. That is guaranteed to help. I’m deciding between Up in the Air, Three Kings, and One Fine Day. By deciding of course I mean the order, not which one to watch. It’s a day with George and even if I am not watching, I will have the sound of his voice in the background.
It’s okay to have an off day and allow yourself to be sad. I will be fine. I am fine. My son will be home soon and everything will make sense again. If anyone else is feeling sad today, know that it will be okay. Hang on to your hopes, have a good cry, spend time with George Clooney and know you are not alone. I’m holding your hand, and together we will keep the faith.