January 18, 2011 | 1:29 pm

Happy Birthday To My Remarkable and Amazing Son

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Today is my son’s birthday.  He is 15 years old.  He is the most incredible human being I have ever known, and I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone.  Each and every day of my life is made better because of this boy.  He fills my heart with an indescribable joy.

My son and I were chatting about how long I have loved him.  He said since I have known him longer than anyone on the planet, I have loved him for longer than anyone else. I let him know that while I certainly have loved him from the second he was born, I have actually loved him for my entire life.

I always wanted to be a mommy.  Through different experiences in my life, I never thought I would have a child.  I truly thought it was something that would not be an option, so for me to have this child is a miracle.  That I created this life is the greatest blessing of my life.

I have a really great kid.  He is hilarious, charming, smart, handsome, caring, menschy and sensitive.  He loves school, cooking, his friends, family, animals and the entertainment industry.  He changed my life, and one day he will change the world because he cares about people, things, the environment and the future.  He lives his life with purpose, looks forward to growing up, but loves being a kid.

I cannot wrap my head around the fact that he is now 15.  He is so grown up and mature.  He has an old soul and an inspiring world view.  He teaches me something new everyday, and I am a better person because of him.  Even if he were not my son, I would totally dig this kid.

To my son, I love you Snickerdoodle.  You are a delicious child and being your mom makes me happier than anything else I have ever done, or will ever do in my lifetime.  I believe in you, and know you will accomplish all your goals.  I am on your side, your cheerleader, and greatest fan.

You were an easy baby.  Always laughing and happy.  You were never terrible at two, and a wonderful little boy.  You were an incredible child, and a brilliant Bar Mitvah boy.  You are my best friend, and watching you grow up is a blessing I am grateful for every single day.

I hope you have a great day.  I am looking forward to our having dinner tonight to celebrate.  This year you will finish your first year of high school and learn to drive.  Lord give me strength.  It does not matter how old you get, you will always be my baby and I will cherish that forever.

I know, you know, that I love you, but I wonder if you will ever truly know how much.  You make every day of my life happy.  Thank you for loving me, and for letting me hold on, even when you are ready for me to let go.  You are easing me into your growing up and I appreciate it.

You make me think and make me laugh.  Because of you, I believe a better world is possible.  You tell me you love me, and let me know you are happy with the life we are living.  You are grateful and share your gratitude which is amazing.  I love you so much I can hardly stand it.

This blog is my love letter to you.  You can go through them and see what I thought about things, especially you.  You will learn about my world view and what my struggles and triumphs were.  I hope when you read them they will allow you to understand me better and be proud of me.

I am proud of you beyond measure, and I cannot wait to see what you do with your life.  You will be a success at whatever you do and I look forward to loving your kids and telling them all about what a great kid you were.  You are my heart, and the main reason I keep the faith.

January 18, 2011 | 8:44 am

Bachelor Brad Womack – Not the brightest bulb, but maybe the sweetest candy

Posted by Ilana Angel

All aboard!  We are back on the train to Crazytown.  This show is fabulously cringe-worthy.  The more we see the more I realize that is A) a messed up bunch of chicks and B) Brad in incredibly dumb, but insanely sweet.  He means well and God Bless him for being so successful when clearly he is a few cards shy of a full deck.  He makes me laugh, and is winning me over.

Ashley S., who won the first impression rose on day one, is chosen for a one-on-one date.  I’m not sure how old she is, but if I had to guess, I’m thinking about 14.  She is a child and so not right for him.  Michelle agrees with me.  Michelle needs to be in a psych ward, but she agrees with me.  Ashley and Brad are off to Capital Records to record a song.

They are singing “Kiss From a Rose” by Seal.  Ashley lost her dad a couple of years ago and this was their song.  What a coincidence.  They spend the next 10 minutes butchering this beautiful song.  Brad says Ashley makes him feel comfortable and like his true self.  Probably because both of them have the mentality of teenagers.  It’s like dumb and dumber.

Ashley is crying, saying she is falling for Brad as Seal comes out and sings the song as it is meant to be sung.  I love Seal, and I love that Ashley got a moment she shared with her dad’s memory.  It was very sweet.  Completely orchestrated and fake, but still super sweet.  Brad really likes her but “needs to know who she is as a woman”.  Brad makes me laugh.  At him.

Ashley is now bawling about how grateful she is for the date.  Dear Lord.  Back at the house, the group date is announced and Michelle is a part of it and pissed off.  She starts crying that she needs to go out with all the ladies not on her own.  I hear creepy music in the background whenever she speaks.  Back on the date, Ashley gets a rose and a kiss from Brad.

Emily gets a one-on-one date and she is nervous to tell him her story.  I love her.  The group date is going to film an action adventure movie.  Shawntel N., who looks a little like Kristen Stewart, is the breakout star of the filming.  By breakout star of course I mean the one who makes out with Brad.  While she is shoving her tongue down his throat, Michelle is starting to twitch.

Michelle is imagining killing Shawntel N. and it’s awesome.  Not awesome that she wants to kill her, but awesome that she is losing her grip on reality and we get a front row seat.  While Shawntell is kissing Brad, Michelle covers her eyes with her hair and it’s as if Sweet Baby Jane is back and ready to play.  I hope he realizes she’s crazy, but not for a few weeks please!

The group date is relaxing by the pool for their wrap party.  Chantel #2 steals Brad away for private time.  She is talking to him and within 2 seconds is crying.  She gives the “I never do this” speech and it cracks me up.  These chicks are pathetic and it makes for great television.  Brad wants to know what her biggest mistake in life is and she jumps at the chance to tell him.

She did not talk to her dad for 9 years, only to find out when she was finally ready to talk to him, that he was dead.  She is blubbering, he is comforting, and she announces she is falling for him.  He gives her the nickname “puffy face” and they make out.  Back at the house, Emily tells the remaining girls about her daughter and the loss of her fiancé.  I love her.  Seriously.

The wrap party continues and the sharks are out for a swim.  Everyone is hanging on him in their bathing suits and flirting.  Michelle is convinced she is the only one there who is right for him and she wants a kiss.  She breaks into a private conversation and the music selection is perfection.  Michelle is all Glenn Close Fatal Attraction and I freaking love this show.

Michelle fake cries and tells Brad she is worried she is being selfish by leaving her daughter.  The cry is so fake that it truly is frightening.  She gets her first kiss by using her child as a pawn for a sympathy smooch.  There is one rose to be handed out and Brad gives it to Shawntel N., she accepts it, and they make out.  Michelle is plotting her death.

Brad picks up Emily for their date.  He is taking her to wine country and his surprise is to go on a private plane.  Poor thing is nervous, and thinking about Ricky and it’s heartbreaking.  She is so sweet and a real lady, and I love her.  She gets on the plane so as not to disappoint Brad.  They are chilling in a vineyard and she has the opportunity to tell him about her past but can’t.

Madison, the vampire, is back at the house crying.  She says she wanted to meet someone and fall in love but feels there are women there who need to.  It’s a lovely moment actually.  She is worried Emily won’t be able to tell Brad her history.  It’s sweet and you forget for only a minute that she is President of the Team Edward fan club and would suck your neck in a second.

Emily finally tells Brad about her daughter and the passing of her fiancé.  It’s sweet.  I think this girl is so lovely and I want her to be happy.  Brad is clearly a smitten kitten and falling for her.  He says Emily is someone he could build a life with and it’s the first time that I actually like Brad.  He means well, is trying to be kind, and in the end is very sweet.

Brad meets with his therapist.  Sidebar:  Who is the therapist?  I have a crush on this guy.  The therapist tells Brad his connection with Emily is a great thing.  She is officially the front-runner.  Last week I wanted him to dump her because she could do better but this week I’m okay with Emily getting to know Brad.  She might be the one and he might be ready.

The cocktail party begins and Alli has a moment alone with Brad.  It says she is an “apparel merchant”.  Translation: she works at Sears.  She spills her crap, saying her parents are divorced because her dad cheated and had a little girl when he was out being a whore.  It’s fascinating what women will share with strangers and by strangers of course I mean America.

Bottom line, Alli wants to know he is not a cheater.  He lets her know he’s not.  Chantal is pulled out and he tells her he likes her beyond the sexual chemistry.  They are about to smooch but there is Michelle.  She clears her throat and asks, “Am I interrupting”.  She is entertaining but annoying as hell.  We are all laughing at her I want someone to trip her.

Brad tells us he has a crush on Michelle.  Big mistake.  Vampira is rethinking why she is there.  She takes her fangs out and tells Brad she is confused.  He asks her if she wants love why leave?  He is not digging her at all so why keep her there?  He is going back and forth between being a doll and a pig.  He tells her to stay, but does not want to be with her, so just let her go.

Ashley H. is completely insecure and it’s gross.  She is pulling an Alli from last year with “if you don’t want me, just let me go” crap.  Grow up.  Ashley is pathetic and after he leaves, Brad comes back and kisses her so she feels confident.  I am not ashamed to tell you it made my heart flutter.  It was a cheesy move on her part, but he was Prince Charming in how he handled it.

It’s rose time and they go to:

Michelle:  Moron. 
Chantel O.:  Fine.

Then Madison decides she can’t take a rose from one of the other girls.  Really?  The crying is quite nice but let’s get real.  He was way to straight-laced and boring for her so she pulled the martyr card and left as both classy and silly.  She was never going to be the Bachelorette so good she bailed.  Bless her heart for being so sweet.  Bye bye Vampira.

The roses continue:

Lisa:  I don’t remember her. 
Jackie:  Okay. 
Ashley H.: Her ploy worked.
Marissa: Whatever. 
Britt:  Don’t know her. 
Alli:  Blech. 
Lindsey: He’s said two words to her.  Don’t get it. 
Meghan:  Never going to happen.
Stacey:  Has she been there the whole time?

Kimberly says she was not given a rose because she is intimidating.  She then tells us how fabulous she is and uses an expletive to tell Brad to get lost.  Sarah P. is also out.  Poor thing.  She is crying and having a one woman pity party.  She is home right now, unable to understand why she is alone.  I feel bad for her.  She needs to meet someone who finds insecurity hot.

I feel like we have been watching forever and we just got started.  I think this is the best looking group of women, but I’m getting a little bored.  It’s not their fault because they are great.  It’s Brad.  You know he is going to be nice to everyone, he is going to talk too slow, and he is going to be annoying.  But at the end of the day, I’m in it to the bitter and far, far away end.

Emily will be there at the very end unless she changes her mind and decided to bail.  Michelle will crash and burn.  In the meantime, I’m sure the other girls slept with one eye open.  I’m not sure who will be the other finalist but you can bet there will be crying, praying and begging.  All they can do it try to keep their dignity, and remember to keep the faith

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January 15, 2011 | 11:18 pm

Martin Luther King Day 2011

Posted by Ilana Angel

“I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our nation.

Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice.  It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity.

But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free. One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity.

One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition.

In a sense we have come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check, which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.

So we have come to cash this check—a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism.

Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God’s children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning.

Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities.

We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro’s basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor’s lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.

With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country, ‘tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring."

And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!

Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!

But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!

Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!

Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

Remember.  Learn.  Keep the faith.

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January 15, 2011 | 1:17 am

Dear Sarah Palin, Really? Blood Libel? You need to shut up already. Seriously.  Shut Up.  Thanks.

Posted by Ilana Angel

I have written about Sarah Palin a lot over the past year and have always been kind.  I had a chance encounter with Mrs. Palin and she was lovely to me.  Charming, funny and personable.  I walked away from our meeting able to separate her politics from who she was as a human being.  I liked her.

That stopped today.  Today Mrs. Palin crossed the line with me.  The good news is that she managed to do it on a personal level not political, so I feel very comfortable writing about it.  I am not a political blogger and my blogs about political issues have been my personal opinions, not political rantings.

Those of you who are unable to accept I have an opinion different from yours, or that my personal feelings are not politically motivated and have no agenda, it’s okay.  I’m not mad.  I feel sorry for you, respect your right to think differently from me, and laugh at you behind you back.  I’m kidding.  Sort of.

Sarah Palin had days to come forward and respond to the shootings in Tuscon.  Instead, she kept silent, let all the crap stir up around her, and then broke her silence on the very day that the President of the United States was going to lead the country in healing.

On top of disrespectful timing, she decided to use the term “blood libel” in her speech.  One could argue she did not know what it meant and did not know it would be offensive, but even Sarah Palin is not that stupid.  She knew what it meant, and used it anyway, which is ignorant.

I do not know of an adult Jew who is not familiar with the term “blood libel”.  That said, I’m sure there are Jews who do not know, and since many of my readers are not Jewish, let me share the meaning with you.  This is from the website Wikipedia.org:  BLOOD LIBEL

I don’t follow Mrs. Palin’s political agenda and I could not participate in an intelligent conversation about what her stand is on any particular subject because I simply don’t care about what she has to say politically.  Today however, she offended me as a woman, as a Jew and as an American.

She disrespected my faith, my history, my President and my country.  She showed her true self today and it was ugly.  I think she is a great mom and having met her, I think she is a nice person.  As a person with a voice however, I think she is dangerous to the future of this country.

There are a million blogs today about Mrs. Palin with a million takes on what she said in her video post.  I’ve particularly enjoyed the ones that beg Mrs. Palin to SHUT UP.  I join in by saying please, please, please just shut up.  You have done enough damage and need to stop.

If you come across other blogs that tell Mrs. Palin to shut up, please send them my way.  I’m looking for new wallpaper for my bathroom and think it might be just perfect.  To my friends who support Mrs. Palin, I know you understand that it’s not political, it’s personal.  Blood libel my ass.

I am proud to live in America and while I am not a citizen, this has been my home for 20 years and I care about what happens here.  Today I felt blessed that I am Canadian, and should this woman ever manage to step into a position of power, I can take my son and go home.

To OUR President, you did a great job today, thank you.  Nobody can understand what it’s like to be in Tuscon and touched by the events of the past week.  I can only say as an outsider looking in, when those in attendance cheered during your speech, they cheered for America.

I hope your words of support and comfort helped ease their burden, even if only for a moment.  Their reaction to you sent us the message that they will be okay, we will be okay, and America will come out stronger on the other side of this darkness.  I send my prayers to everyone.

To Mrs. Palin, since clearly you are not a great listener, let me tell you again, slowly so you can hear, S – H – U – T – U - P!  This is a remarkable country and try as you might, you will not ruin it.  Buckle up sweetie because we are strong, we are smart, and we are keeping the faith.

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January 14, 2011 | 4:38 am

Taking Risks, Prince Charming, Living Life, Beating Cancer & Shabbat Shalom

Posted by Ilana Angel

I had a date last night with a man I chased down in his truck.  After a horrible date, I decided to take charge, be spontaneous, and allow myself, for just a moment, to lose my mind.  I followed a man and invited him out for dinner, based entirely on how he looked.

You can read about how I met this man here: CHASING TRUCKS I’m not sure what processed me to take the risk, but I did.  I met “Matt” for dinner and let me just say, if you ever thought that Prince Charming did not exist, you have not met Matt.  This man is special.

He is 37 years old, was raised by a single mother, has an unwavering faith in God, and he made my cynical but hopeful heart flutter.  I can’t explain exactly what it was about Matt that left such an impression, but I can tell you that I fell in love with this man last night.

Let’s begin with what inspired me to take a risk in the first place, he is gorgeous.  He has beautiful blue eyes, perfect teeth, and a full head of dark hair.  He has a small scar over his right eyebrow, and one dimple.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but seriously people, this guy is delicious.

I feel like a little piece of who I am as a human being was missing, and this man filled it.  The miracle in that statement is that I did not know it was missing until I met him.  I know it sounds crazy.  How could I feel so connected to someone I don’t know? The only explanation is God.

Matt and I had a 3 hour dinner and we talked about anything and everything.  When we finished with dinner we went over to his mother’s home and joined her for a late night cup of tea.  She is a terrific woman and I see me and my son reflected in the relationship she has with Matt.

I can’t properly articulate what this date meant to me.  To Matt, I know you are reading and I want you to know that we have just begun.  I think I have loved you for my entire life.  You are a true Prince Charming and thinking of you now fills my heart with warmth and comfort.

I feel blessed to have met you.  In one evening you have reminded me what a blessing life is and if risks are taken, rewards are given.  You are an angel.  I am keeping you close and I look forward to seeing you again.  You are remarkable and are going to be in my life forever.

This remarkable man, my new and darling friend Matt, is starting cancer treatment next week.  For all the reasons I am confident God sent Matt my way, I am certain he sent me Matt’s way.  I will be holding his hand and planning what we will do when he is well.

It’s been a long week.  I hit the wall in terms of politics, was attacked and praised for my blogs, missed my mother in a way that aches, faced my demons with the help of a stranger, and a stranger turned out to be a friend.  While exhausting, it was a week of blessings.

My thoughts and prayers are with those healing in Arizona. To my mother, I love you.  To Matt, thank you for appearing.  I wish you all a Shabbat Shalom. To my son, I am blessed to be your mom.  You are perfection and together we will always be able to keep the faith.

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January 12, 2011 | 10:51 am

George Clooney, Gabrielle Giffords, Mark Kelly, Bad Dates & Chasing Trucks

Posted by Ilana Angel

I love George Clooney.  He is handsome, smart and funny.  He cares about humanity and the world, not just the things that are happening in his neighborhood.  I don’t know him, but I am quite certain he is perfect and there is only one thing that could make him better.

The single thing that could make Mr. Clooney better, would be if he were an astronaut.  Space is fascinating, and I am in awe of NASA and those who work in this field.  If my beloved George were an astronaut it might put me over the edge and require a restraining order.

Gabrielle Giffords hit the jackpot with Mark Kelly and he may trump George in terms of the perfect man.  The more I learn about Gabrielle and Mark the more I love them, and am inspired by their love.  The picture of Mark holding her hand in the hospital is lovely.

The pictures are not of an astronaut holding the hand of a Congresswoman. They are of a man holding the hand of his wife, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health.  She is hanging on and fighting hard and I imagine he is a big part of that.  Their love will help heal her and that is special.

Mark and Gabrielle have been married three years.  This wonderful man, who goes to space for a living, inscribed in his wife’s wedding band,” You’re the closest to heaven that I have ever been.” It’s official, George Clooney is bumped to 2nd place.  Mark Kelly is simply perfection.

As a woman who is dating and looking for love, I am now searching for a “Mark Kelly type”.  Are there a lot of single Jewish astronauts?  Giffords is Jewish and Kelly is not so maybe there is a lesson there.  I love how he loves her and I want that for myself.  How hard can it be?

I had a date last week with a guy we’ll call “Mike”.  Not only was he not an astronaut, I don’t imagine he would now what NASA was.  We met for a drink and he seemed nice, until the waiter came.  I ordered a drink and called the waiter “honey”.  That was the beginning of the end.

When the waiter brought my drink over, I said, “Thanks Sweetie”.  If you know me, you know that I call everyone Sweetie or Honey.  It’s just how I roll.  Well Mike was having none of it.  He asked me if I knew the waiter, I told him I did not, and he asked why I kept flirting with him.

Dear Lord.  I told him I was not flirting and would have called the waiter Sweetie even if it were a woman.  He then told me it made him uncomfortable and he thought it was “slutty” to be so friendly with a stranger.  It took one more “honey” for Mike to end the date and leave.

He left.  He told me I was flirting with other men while on a date and it was disgusting.  He paid for our drinks, told the waiter to get my number and he left.  I sat there in shock, unable to wrap my head around what had happened.  The waiter was also in shock and all we could was laugh.

The lovely waiter let me know that if her were not gay and in a loving relationship, he totally would have asked me for my number.  Bless him.  It was a horrible date with a horrible guy and the best part is that he sent me an email a day later to see if I hooked up with the waiter.  Loser.

I was so grossed out that in my sad search for my own George Clooney/Mark Kelly man, I lost my mind for a minute.  I was driving on Western Avenue in Los Angeles and a man in a truck needed to cut in front of me to make a left.  He honked to get my attention so I could let him in.

He honked, I looked up, opened my window and there he was.  He looked like Brad Pitt, John Stamos and Michael Chiklis had a baby.  Gorgeous.  He looked enough like my type that I thought he was delicious, but not enough like my ex’s that looking at him made me want to vomit.

He asked if he could go ahead, I smiled, twisted my hair and said sure.  He waved, said thanks, pulled in front and made a left onto Santa Monica Blvd.  In a split second decision, I decided to follow him.  He was too handsome for me to just let him get away.

I followed him for a few blocks.  So sad.  Eventually I pulled up next to him and honked.  He opened his window, and I asked it I could talk to him.  He said ok and pulled into the mini mall on the next corner.  At this point I’m mortified by what I’ve done but it’s too late now.

He gets out of his truck, I get out of my car, and there we are.  I tell him, in one breath, that I think he is gorgeous, I just went out with a loser, I cannot meet a nice man, and if he is not married or in a relationship, we should go out for diner.  He just stood there, staring at me.

There was a second too long of a pause so I continued on.  I told him I was funny, smart, a great cook, a wonderful mother and a catch.  I then did a spin and said this is it.  This is my body, this is my personality, and if it was of any comfort, he was the only person I ever followed to get a date.

He smiled, leaned over, kissed me on the cheek, said he was not married, had been out of a relationship for 4 months and he thought I was fabulous.  He then gave me his card and asked if I was free on Thursday night.  I gave him my card, accepted the invitation, and left.

As I drove off I was quite proud of myself, yet totally scared.  I called him and when he answered I almost hung up.  I said it was me, and just wanted to make sure he was not a killer or sex offender or any of those things you should probably know about someone before you follow them.

He assured me he was none of those things and not to worry.  I thanked him, said goodbye and went to work.  He called later in the day to say hello and make sure I was not kicking myself for my bold move.  I told him I was mortified, but looking forward to seeing him on Thursday.

We chatted last night and he offered me his social security number so I could run a background check.  He is quite funny, insanely attractive and seems like just a regular blue color kind of guy.  I don’t know what he does for a living, or what his faith is, and at this point it does not matter.

He could be Jewish, or not.  He could be an astronaut, or not.  He inspired me to be bold and take a risk and for that I am grateful.  Life is meant to be lived, not observed, and so it’s all good.  Perhaps he will be a perfect mix of George Clooney and Mark Kelly so I’m keeping the faith.

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January 11, 2011 | 9:43 am

Bachelor Brad Womack is Slow & the Chicks are Crazy

Posted by Ilana Angel

I used to watch The Bachelor with a sense of hope.  It was romantic and inspiring.  I believed there was a chance love could be found.  That was then.  This show is now a joke that makes no sense, yet is incredibly funny.  I watch for a laugh and blog.

Brad Womack is slow.  He talks in slow motion, has no command of the English language, and has an accent that changes within the same sentence.  He was not an interesting Bachelor last time, and I still don’t get why he was given a second chance.  It’s lame.

The show starts with Chris Harrison explaining how the show works, talking to the girls like they have no idea what is going on.  Come on!  They’ve been studying the show for years, know exactly what is going on, and are trying to get their 15 minutes.

Melissa says she has wanted to be on the show for 8 years.  She is pathetic, desperate and proves she didn’t care who the Bachelor was, only that she got on.  Eight years of prep only to fall apart under the pressure during the second week.  Shame.

Ashley the dentist gets the first date.  She is bubbly and the other girls are crushed.  Hilarious.  Ashley is wearing a ugly dress and Brad has fallen into the Bachelor trap of thinking we believe he planned everything.  He talks about the date like it was his idea.

He speaks as if he is doing all these wonderful things for the women when he has done nothing.  I don’t get why these Bachelors and Bachelorettes don’t say, “Look what THEY have planned for us.”  Stupid.  First date is a private night at a carnival.

They are running through the carnival to get on a ride, which is ridiculous because she is in stilettos and there is nobody else there so why run?  Back at the house, the claws are being sharpened.  The girls find out 15 of them are going on the group date.

Michelle, the gorgeous hair stylist, is the frontrunner for “Miss Fatal Attraction 2011”.  It’s her 30th birthday and she is pissed she has to share Brad with 14 other ladies on her special day.  You know she is going to lose her mind in the scariest way.  Got to watch out for the pretty ones boys.

Back at the carnival, Ashley is smooching on Brad and “falling” for him.  That took 5 minutes, which shows such restraint because the others are already in love. Brad says it’s the best date he’s had in years.  He said he has not been on a date in years, so that’s not that flattering.

Ashley shares that her dad is a homeless addict and Brad loves her more because his dad was never around.  Blah, blah, blah.  He says he never talks about this with anyone.  Really?  Did he forget he told 8 million people last week?  I think Brad’s vocabulary includes 30 words.

Melissa is a whack-a-doodle.  How did she pass the mental health screening?  She is not cute and clearly had her boobs done by Tori Spelling’s plastic surgeon.  Not good.  Emily says 15 girls on a date is a world record.  Clearly she has never heard of Charlie Sheen. 

They are doing a series of PSA’s for The American Red Cross.  In the middle of the chaos of this ridiculous show, they are doing charity work, which is actually really great.  The addition of these awareness segments allow us to take it seriously, for just a minute.

Bravo to Mike Fleiss and whoever coordinates the community service pieces because they are important and use their 15 minutes for good.  They are dressing up in costumes and the vampire chick gets to be Cat Woman while another one gets a neck brace and flannel.

Britt is getting an ulcer, Keltie wants to cry, Michelle thinks her birthday should be a national holiday, and Melissa is in the front seat for a ride to Crazytown.  She busts into a scene and kisses Brad which is creepy and seals her fate.  She’ll be gone tonight.

All the girls are making out with Brad and it’s skanky.  Everyone thinks kissing him will ensure a rose and Michelle is off wallowing in self-pity that she does not get to be special for her birthday.  Melissa is crazy, Michelle is scary, and Brad is boring.

The group date goes out for a roof top party.  Melissa gets one-on-one time and he blows her off.  Michelle has a horrible spray on tan and when she lifts her arms you can see it.  Blech.  She tells Brad he’s got walls up and starts her plan of seduction.

Melissa starts fighting with Rachel.  Who is Rachel?  Jackie gets a one-on-one date.  Back at the group date, Brad gives the rose to Michelle for her birthday.  She starts gloating and being cocky and you know she hears music in her head when there is none. 

Jackie gets a “Pretty Woman” date.  They walk into the hotel and she calls the doormen “guards”.  I’m over dumb chicks.  They have spa time, then she gets to choose an outfit for their night out.  Back at the house, Emily, my favorite, calls her daughter and is so sweet.

Jackie and Brad go to The Hollywood Bowl for a private dinner and concert by Train.  Jackie tells Brad she is not a big dater and has only had 2 boyfriends in her whole life and he gets all judgy. He says it concerns him that she has no experience.  Lame.

She is a nice girl and he knows if he screws her over we will hate him more than we already do.  She needs to run for the hills from this guy.  She is really lovely,  can do better, and she is wasting her time with Brad.  She could also be the next Bachelorette.

He asks her if she wants to be in it with him and she says as long as he does.  Sad.  Who cares what he wants?  Why don’t women value themselves enough to say they will stay for as long as it feels right for them?  Thank God I’m older and wiser than these girls.

Sidebar: Train is fantastic.  They are a great band I loved their performance even though it was only for a minute.  Brad pronounces theater, Thee-eh-ter and I’ve decided he is a slightly dumber version of Jethro from The Beverly Hillbillies.  Dumber and not as hot.

At the cocktail party Michelle takes Brad away the minute he walks in.  Brad talks to Emily and it makes me sad because she is really lovely and deserves better.  He gets tongue-tied when he is around her because he knows she’s too good for him.  It’s cute.

Rachel and Melissa are fighting again and it’s sad because they both have really bad plastic surgeons and that should bond them together as BFF’s.  Melissa is crying because she is being attacked, and Rachel is taking comfort in knowing that Jesus is on her side.

Melissa goes crying to Brad, then BAM.  The bi-polar moment we have been waiting for.  She is crying, laughing, and worried about her breath.  She is a crazy person and is watching this at home and wants to kill herself.  This chick really needs medication.

Rachel is crying to Brad saying she is “not like this” and it’s made even funnier by Brad’s slow motion speak.  Then Ally and Roberto show up to help Brad.  Ally is wearing a gorgeous but fantastically unflattering dress and her hair extensions are gone.

Rachel and Melissa are trying to convince the other women why the other one should go home.  Melissa goes to Ally and starts crying, saying she is targeted.  So gross.  Ally and Roberto are on the show for 4 minutes and it’s lame.  Melissa is sure she is getting a rose.

Emily gets the special “you are genuine” rose.  I love her.  It’s now the big rose ceremony and three insecure girls are going home.  Every time Brad picks up a rose he does this weird shrugging of his shoulders that is making me crazy.  He needs a doctor to look at that.

Sidebar:  Why does Chris Harrison leave for the rose ceremony?  So he can come back to announce the last one?  He should just stand there with a beer and yell out “last round” when it gets down to the final rose.  Rachel, Melissa and Keltie are going home.

Keltie is a mess and gives the saddest farewell speech ever.  She is convinced she is meant to be alone and breaks into the ultimate ugly cry.  It looks like a skit from SNL and if it were not so crushing it would be hilarious.  She must be mortified watching this.

Word on the street is that Brad has impeccable manners and is the nicest man ever.  My hopelessly romantic but sarcastic heart prays he wins me over, and by the end I’m crying for the joy and happiness he has found.

This is an easy show to mock but at the end of the day, jokes aside,  I want it to work.  I will continue to make fun of it of course, but deep down I’m cheering them on.  All except Michelle of course. 

To conclude: Chris Harrison is still charming, Emily should be the next Bachelorette, Brad has a twitching disorder and speech impediment, Michelle is insane, and I will be back next week which means so am I.  The good news is I still believe love is possible, so I’m keeping the faith.

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January 9, 2011 | 10:23 pm

Gabrielle Giffords, Sarah Palin, Facebook & Doing Right By America

Posted by Ilana Angel

I am heartbroken by the attempted assassination of Congresswoman Giffords and the pain and suffering of the victims who passed, those who are in the hospital, and all of their families.  It is an unfathomable time for those involved and dark, dark days for each and every American.

It will be a long while before we know the motive of the shooting and even then we may not know the truth.  It could have been motivated by politics, or religion, or just maybe it was simply the work of a young man who is clearly not well.  Why is a valid question, but one that really does not matter.

What does matter is that the finger pointing and assumptions of Americans is making the entire situation worse.  There is one person who could have, and should have, stood up to try to heal the country and that was Sarah Palin.  I am enormously disappointed in her reaction to the tragedy.

Her Facebook posting from March 23, 2010, “Don’t Get Demoralized! Get Organized!  Take Back the 20!” is the talk around water coolers and while she must be aware that people are talking, her only response was to post her condolences on Facebook and have an aide say it was a “misunderstanding”.

Using Facebook to send condolences when the country is waiting and watching to see what she would do is lame.  Having aides speak for her is lame.  Not admitting it may have been, under the current political climate, a huge mistake, is lame, selfish and frankly, un-American.

That’s not enough Mrs. Palin.  I’m not blaming you.  I am saying a large part of the America population blames you and your map for the killing of innocent people.  You are a powerful political player and you have a responsibility to the country you love, to try to find peace.

Rather than a ridiculous post on Facebook, you should go on national TV and said if anyone “misunderstood” what your map meant, you are sorry and are praying for the victims and their families.  If it was not your intention for anyone to take the targets literally, say it.

Take one for the team, and by team I mean America.  You don’t have to take blame for anything, just acknowledge the map could have directed people the wrong way, and for that you are sorry.  It is the right thing to do.  Some will say too little too late, but it still matters.

I am ashamed and scared of what is happening and the hate is palpable.  As a mother, and a Jew, I am fearful about the future for my child.  How far must the country fall before opinions are put aside to allow us to do the right thing?  When will Sarah Palin man up?

Mrs. Palin, it’s not about blame, right or wrong, politics or religion.  It is about America and what will help begin the healing of a nation. The map you posted was wrong.  After the reactions to what happened in Arizona, you must acknowledge it, and you must do the right thing.

It does not matter what you meant, what matters is how it was perceived.  If you care about the country as you say you do, then say something.  Say something that matters and don’t say it on facebook.  Put politics aside, put America first, and do the right thing.

People will disagree and say you do not need to say sorry for anything, and they may be right, but you are being tied to the tragedy and saying nothing makes it worse.  I have supported you as a woman, and a mother, but I will no longer do that if you say nothing.

My thoughts and prayers are with all the victims and their families in Arizona.  To those who were lost, God Bless you.  To those who are in the hospital, God Bless you.  To people putting aside their politics and doing what is right for America, I am praying and Keeping the Faith.

*** After reading all the comments, which I appreciate you taking the time to share, I would like to say that I think many of you, from both sides of the political spectrum, are missing the point.  Even if you believe she had nothing to do with the shooting, or the political climate, or the hash slinging, she still needs to say she is sorry.  I agree that Palin will be blamed, hated, and demonized whether she says something or not, so why not just do it then?  If there is even the remotest possibility that it might ease the tension, even for one person, is that not worth it?  Is that not the role of someone who is seeking a national political office?  Even is she has no plans to run for President in 2012, with her popularity and influence, her job is to work for the country, not just her followers.  The shooter was insane.  That has nothing to do with Sarah.  However, she has an obligation to do the right thing, this is her chance, and I do not understand why it has not been done already.  If political agenda’s can put aside, for just a few minutes, and human decency takes priority, then making the apology is a no brainer.

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