December 21, 2010 | 1:37 am

Skating With The Stars: Bethenny Fake Cries Her Way to the Finale

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Just when I thought Bethenny Frankel could not get more obnoxious, on what has proven to be the worst show ever put on television, she manages to outdo herself by fake crying for votes, all while we watch her lies begin to unravel, as she secures the votes of her fans.

I’m predicting that Bethenny Frankel will win the first, and God willing only, season of Skating With the Stars.  She has mastered lying and taken it to a level I have never seen before, so just give it to her.  This show was never about skating, so let’s call it a day and crown her already.

It is just a reality television show, but Bethenny is like a cult leader who, for reasons we will never truly understand, gets everyone to drink the Kool-Aid.  I find her and her fame fascinating.  I find her fan base to be beyond explanation and to be quite honest, a little scary.

The show starts with the most annoying host on the planet, then there is a group skate, which is entertaining.  Jonny Moseley is fast and quite good.  Rebecca Budig is elegant and quite talented, and Bethenny manages to skate without bending her knees or cracking her make up.  Impressive.

In the group skate, first place goes to Rebecca, second place to Jonny, and third place to Bethenny.  Now we move onto the free skate.  Rebecca skates first and she is lovely.  Her outfit, make-up, hair, music, all of it, is just perfect.  I was impressed with her.  Shame she won’t win.

Bethenny is up next and announces she can win and is the underdog.  This is interesting because later in the show when she is sent to the finals, she looks shocked.  Shocked my tuchas.  She knew all along that her crybaby whining would get her peeps to vote in droves.

She finishes her routine and immediately burst into tears.  Not graceful tears, but ugly tears, and so the push for votes begins!  She starts whining.  Again.  She says she left her baby and husband.  Wait a minute, last week she said she relocated her baby and husband to LA.

Which one is it?  Did she leave them, or bring them with her?  The pictures of them in Beverly Hills have been in every magazine on the planet, but her fans actually buy into her crap.  She left nothing.  They are all here.  I’ve seen them around town.  I guess she forgot.

The most disappointing part of the show is when Johnny Weir buys into to crap fest.  Oh Johnny, you must just be tired my darling.  It’s okay.  We forgive you for drinking the Kool-Aid.  Tomorrow you will skate and we will forgive you because you are after all, fabulous.

Moseley is up and he’s ok.  Nothing mind blowing, but certainly good enough to be in the finals with Rebecca.  They are all on the ice and Rebecca is the first one through to the finale tomorrow night.  Then it’s between Bethenny and Johnny, and no surprise, Bethenny goes through.

Bethenny is shocked. (Fake.)  Johnny is pissed. (Not fake.)  The camera turns to Vince Neil who appears confused.  This is the best worst show ever.  I stuck it out to the end, and tomorrow shall be glorious as it will be over.  The wrong person will win, but it will be over!

I’m often asked why I write Bethenny when I clearly am not a fan.  Maybe there is a part of me that likes to irritate her fans, but the real reason would be that I love reality television, think she’s a fraud, and enjoy being one of the few people with the balls to tell the truth.

This show was an epic disaster and I cannot imagine, under any circumstances, that it will be back.  Bethenny with take her trophy and proudly talk about it forever.  Then, when we finally erase her from our memory, she will be back on Bravo and I shall blog about her.

Bethenny fan sites will talk about how horrible I am, will criticize, call me names, say I’m mean because I’m Jewish, write that I am jealous of her, and my blogs about her are the reason I am not married.  Can’t wait! Bring it on girls.  I’m standing by, and keeping the faith.

December 19, 2010 | 11:48 pm

I am Addicted to Angry Birds.  Help Me!

Posted by Ilana Angel

It began innocently enough.  My son asked if he could download the Angry Birds app to my iPhone.  We were waiting at the dentist’s office and he was bored.  Without giving it a second thought I told him to go ahead.  That was the beginning of the end.  My name is Ilana and I am an Angry Birds addict.

It’s sad because I am addicted to something I don’t really understand.  There are birds, that don’t appear to have wings, that are catapulted by slingshots, at an army of pigs.  There are animals exploding, which as a vegetarian, I should find offensive, but I ultimately crave.  It has become a problem.

The pigs have stolen the bird’s eggs, so the birds are angry and want to get the pigs.  By get the pigs, of course I mean disintegrate them.  It is stupid, ridiculous, and more dangerous than crack.  I cannot stop.  I want to play all the time and the worst part is that I totally suck at it.  How is it possible that a game so simple, is proving to be so difficult? How?

Sometimes, when I am at work, I can hear the birds calling me from deep inside my phone.  They beckon me to play.  Seriously.  This game is beyond addictive.  Tried to go cold turkey today.  By cold turkey of course I mean I told myself I would go one day without playing.  Just one day.

Me, a 44 year old intelligent woman, could not go one day without flinging a bird through the air to kill a pig.  Not since my obsession with harvesting my crops on Farmville, have I been so openly willing to waste my time on mindless insanity.  Damn the inventors of the Angry Birds!

I will try to quit again tomorrow.  It’s not going to happen.  Since admission is the first step to recovery, my name is Ilana and I have no plans to seriously stop playing Angry Birds.  I am going to own it, not be ashamed, and focus on getting past level 6 where I’ve been stuck all day.

Lessons learned: 1. When my son asks if he can download an app, the answer is no. 2. You can be a good vegetarian even if you kill innocent birds and pigs, as long as they’re animated. 3: There are worse addictions, so I must focus on getting the eggs back and keeping the faith.

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December 17, 2010 | 9:15 am

Jewish Education Should Be a Right Not a Privilege

Posted by Ilana Angel

I have a love hate relationship with my son’s Jewish Day School education.  I love that my son went through 10 years in a private school, and hate that it was a financial struggle to keep him there for so long.  In a time when there are a record number of inter-faith marriages, why don’t Jewish institutions for learning not fight to keep Jewish kids there?

I’m not saying if your kid goes to Jewish high school he is going to marry a Jew, but it matters.  To have a foundation about Jewish learning matters.  When you are in an environment for 50 hours a week, and your options for dating are all Jewish, it matters.  Even if you date someone who is not Jewish, your Jewish identity is solid.

When my son was 2 ½ he entered into a conservative Jewish ECC.  He was there until kindergarten, then entered into the Day School.  He stayed in the school until he completed 6th Grade.  My goal, from the moment he started at the ECC, was for him to complete his Day School, middle school, and high school education at a Jewish school.  It was my dream and what he wanted.

When my son left 6th grade he read Hebrew perfectly.  He embraced the Jewish learning that was a major part of his education, and there was a moment, around the 4th grade, when my son told me he might want to be a Rabbi.  He was just a little kid and he also wanted to be a fireman, but when he said it I was proud, and knew all the sacrifices were worth it.

My ex-husband did not participate in the payment of tuition.  He felt a private school, particularly a Jewish one, was a choice, not a requirement, and so he refused to pay.  I paid for 10 years all by myself.  My Jewish ex-husband turned his back on our faith and as I write this, is probably decorating his Christmas tree and counting all the money he saved.

I was lucky to have a Head of School who was lovely.  She fought for me to keep my son in the school.  There were years when paying the astronomical tuition was really, really hard, but she helped me.  She was on my side, and it made all the difference in the world. The decision to give me financial aid however, was not hers alone and I was forced to beg, more than once.

I was a single mother, who desperately wanted to keep my son in a Jewish environment as I felt I needed the back up.  My son was spending time with his dad, who was not a practicing Jew, and marrying a woman who was not Jewish.  When you are little, having one house full of dreidels, and one with a Christmas tree, it’s a struggle to know what your path is.

My son is a Jew.  By birth and by how he practices faith.  He will tell you he is a Jew and he will tell you with pride.  He is now in high school and thriving in a creative environment, but he would have thrived in a Jewish environment also.  He is not learning about Judaism in the same way he would have if he were at a Jewish High School and there is not time for Hebrew School.

This week the Jewish Journal printed a story about how The New Jewish Community High School bought the Milken JCC Campus.  You can read that article here: NEW JEW  I know people who have kids there, and they are happy and thriving in the Jewish environment.  At the same time, it makes resentful that my son is not one of the kids excited about their new campus.

My son was in first grade when New Jew opened it’s doors and my goal was to have my son there.  I had it planned out.  He would finish at his Day School, go to Heschel in Northridge for middle school, and then to New Jew for high school.  My plan was brilliant, until Heschel refused to give me scholarship money for my son to attend middle school.

They offered me a few dollars of course, but not enough for it to make Heschel an option.  I wrote letters to the Head of School, the director of Admissions and the PTA President.  If you had a job at Heschel, you got a letter from me asking for help.  I explained my situation and how important it was for me to have my son at a Jewish school.

My ex-husband even came said he would support the choice for our son to attend, but would not pay.  I never got a response.  Not one reply.  The same people, who are always complaining about how Jewish kids are opting out of Jewish education, did not think it was important to help a single Jewish mother whose goal was to have her kid remain in a Jewish school.

Here’s the thing, I get that it costs money to educate a child in this environment.  I was not asking for my kid to go for free.  I was simply asking for help.  I am blessed that my son is happy, healthy and doing well in high school.  I am infinitely proud of him, but if given the opportunity to have had him in a Jewish school, it would have been my preference.

At what point does being Jewish become important than money?  Would my getting financial aid have caused ruin to the school?  Would it not have been more “Jewish” to embrace my child, rather than send him the message that in order receive a Jewish education you need to have money?  Is that not selling the stereotypes we are all so offended by?

I imagine New Jew spent a pretty penny on their new campus.  They will be in a wonderful location, with beautiful facilities for their kids, but something will be missing, and that is my son.  They will not have the privilege of teaching this incredible child and that is a shame.  Heschel should be ashamed of themselves for putting money ahead of Judaism.

My son still reads Hebrew, just a little slower.  He stills goes to shul, just a little less often.  He still hopes to marry a Jewish girl, just with a little less conviction.  His life is different because of where he goes to school and I will always wonder how things would have been if I was able to provide him the Jewish education that I wanted for him, and he deserved.

I will be at shul tonight for Friday night services.  I will sit, pray, sing and be proud of my son.  I will be grateful that I was able to give him 10 solid years of Jewish education.  Will I be a little resentful of the new campus of New Jew knowing that my son is not there just because of money? Yes.  Will I be able to let it go?  I’m keeping the faith

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December 15, 2010 | 8:17 am

Is Bethenny Frankel a Bigger Reality TV Superstar than The Situation?

Posted by Ilana Angel

I have been watching Skating With The Stars even though it the worst television show ever.  I am fascinated it is on at all, but I’m in it until the end so rather than suffer in silence, I blog about it and make you all suffer with me.  In watching it this week I noticed that Bethenny Frankel is introduced as a “reality television superstar”.  Really?

Just because you will attend the opening of an envelope if it gets you on television, does not make you a superstar.  Bethenny Frankel has done nothing impressive.  Reports says she earned 4 million dollars last year which is nice, but when you compare it to Jersey Shore’s The Situation, who raked in 10 million, she is not a superstar at all.

The Sitch is clearly the master of making a living with no obvious talent.  Mike Sorrentino was on Dancing With The Stars, the number one show on television, not Skating With The Stars, which is a slow train ride through hell.  The money they spent putting SWTS on the air could have fed a lot of starving people over the holidays.  Morons.

Bethenny looks like a plastic mess on SWTS.  Her hair is horrible and her make-up is brutal.  She does her package interviews without being done up because she thinks it makes her “real”, but it doesn’t.  She trashes the judges and says she is skating for America not them.  News flash, the judges like Bethenny more than America, and they don’t even like her that much.

To be clear, I love the Real Housewives franchise on Bravo.  It’s a fun show to watch because it’s mindless fluff, and can take the edge off of a long day.  If you’ve not watched, trust, get a glass of wine, relax on the couch, and settle in for an hour of entertainment.  It is a guaranteed laugh, regardless of the featured city, especially if one of them is going to sing.

Jersey Shore was also a fun watch.  The Situation is much older than the others, yet he runs around pretending to be young, sleeping with anyone who will have him, and making out with everyone else, including a tranny in Miami.  He is a pig, and has no respect for women, but at the end of the day, he is a reality television superstar.  His bank account proves it.

The Situation also does not seem to be working that hard.  Opportunities find him and he cashes in.  Bethenny on the other hand, is killing herself to keep herself out there.  She is now embarking on a speaking tour, where in some cities she is charging $300 to listen to her spew about how hard her life was, how tired she is,  and how great being skinny is. 

To all the housewives who are thinking they are friends with Bethenny in some parallel reality television universe, you should take your $300 and donate it to your local food bank.  To Bethenny, who has the balls to charge hard working people $300 to hear her speak, when she says the same things for free, everywhere, shame on you.

Bethenny is not the best thing to come out of the Real Housewives.  She is the loudest, most annoying, and one of the top ten least talented.  She has the same body at 40 that she had as a kid, yet we are supposed to buy into her diet and exercise bull.  She wines about her horrific childhood, but many who know her call her stories into question and challenge her credibility.

There was a window of opportunity when Bethenny could have been the best television personality to be discovered at Bravo, but instead she became self-obsessed, whiny, mean spirited, and selfish.  She was the one we waited to see, and now she is the one we wish would go away.  The most fascinating thing about Bethenny Frankel is her diehard fan base.

There is a group, a small group, of women, who love her.  They attack anyone who says anything bad about their beloved Bethenny.  I often wonder who these women are.  They write me a lot, and comment on my blog.  They tell me I’m going to hell for my hateful words about the angel that is Bethenny.  They are a scary group of ladies but I worry about their wellbeing,

We all have celebrity crushes.  Mine happens to be George Clooney.  For some, it’s Bethenny Frankel.  I’m not saying one is better than the other. I am saying however that there is a difference between watching reality television and getting a kick out of it, and watching it and pretending that the people you watch are a) real, and b) your secret television best friends.

Bethenny Frankel is milking the last $15 out of her 15 minutes, and good for her.  Maybe one day, if she works really, really hard, she can be as successful as Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino.  Now that is something to strive for!  As for me, I stand by my blog, stand by my opinion, and will wait for her run to end, by watching reality television while I keep the faith.

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December 13, 2010 | 11:59 pm

Skating With The Stars is More Painful than a Root Canal Without Drugs

Posted by Ilana Angel

It’s been a trying couple of days.  My son has not been well, I’m not sleeping, is freakishly hot for December, I’m incredibly busy at work, and so I’ve been looking for a little joy.  I found joy today when I discovered there are only two weeks left of this slow and painful train ride through hell.

I cannot wait for this show to be over, and relieved to know it will never be back. I may be the only person in America that is still watching.  This is the most horrible show on television and the only reason I tune is for a) Johnny Weir and b) to watch Bethenny fall on her ass.  That would be awesome.

Brandon Smith, the Disney “star” is out.  He’s been sick and has to drop out.  He was a good skater but he was never going to win.  His farewell speech was hilarious. He thanked everyone for letting him bless us with a good time.  He blessed us?  We had a good time?

Bethenny is up and her facial expressions would indicate that she is in desperate need of a bathroom.  She is a good skater but her abrasive and harsh personality makes her hard and cold as ice.  She is, for lack of a better word, a bitch.  Truly a bitchy girl and it’s not appealing.

Dick Buttons is critiquing her and appears to be confused.  You cannot understand what he is talking about.  The choreographer chick then talks and gets so caught up in her own voice that she cannot stop talking and it’s chaos.  Then we get the highlight of the entire show.  Johnny Weir.

He tells Bethenny that since she does not care what the judges say, he does not care to watch her anymore.  The audience boos him, but it does not matter because they are not that bright.  At home we watch the entire show in 12 minutes, but there they are stuck for hours.  Poor souls.

Jonny Moseley is up next.  He’s a great athlete and the most annoying thing about her skating is his partner.  He will be in the finals.  He will not win.  The judges tell him to take a ballet class so you know ABC will film him in a tutu for next week.  Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Rebecca soap chick skates and unless you know who she is, it’s hard to tell who the pro skater is.  She will win if people vote for the who the good skaters are, not the celebrity they like.  This won’t boost her career however, because I am the only one watching.

This show is crap and next week is the finale.  I will be watching because at this point I’m in and can’t look away.  Here’s a list of crap: hair, make-up, costumes, the host, and Laurieanne.  Here’s a list of gold:  Johnny Weir. Can I make it through another week?  I’m keeping the faith.

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December 13, 2010 | 9:44 pm

Who knew Zac Efron was Jewish and who the hell is Vanessa Hudgens?

Posted by Ilana Angel

I am not ashamed to say I have a crush on Zac Efron.  I love him.  He is gorgeous, talented, charming, and seems like a nice guy.  Maybe it was his love of Tracy in Hairspray, his rejection of Sharpay in High School Musical, or perhaps it was his heartbreak as Charlie St. Cloud.

Maybe it’s because he seems so normal in a sea of young Hollywood train wrecks.  My son wants to pursue a career in the entertainment industry, so maybe the reason I love Zac is because he is a role model to my child, and some sunshine on a road that often looks dark and gloomy.

I had no idea he was Jewish.  He defines himself as an agnostic who was not raised with religion, but still, a Jew is a Jew.  The name “Efron” means “lark” in Hebrew which is lovely.  They are sweet looking birds, and Zac seems like a sweet boy, so it all makes sense.

Sidebar: When did I get old enough to refer to a 23 year old as a boy?  I am old enough to be Zac Efron’s mother.  That’s just wrong, and certainly puts a bit of a creepy spin on my crush.  I’m going to change my crush to simple admiration for a menschy young man.

After four years Zac has reportedly broken up with girlfriend Vanessa Hudgens.  I like to think I’m up to date on these things because I have a teenager, and am a follower of pop culture, but I did not even know they were still together. Seriously, Vanessa who?

Zac Efron will have a lifetime career in entertainment because he is talented.  Vanessa is on minute 14 of her 15 minutes, and she is lucky she managed to hang on for as long as she did.  The best part is that people are saying it’s amicable and they will remain life long friends.  Right.

Grow up kids.  You will be friendly until one of you starts to see someone else, and then all bets are off.  To clarify, if Vanessa dates someone first, Zac will feel relief that she is ok and not stalking him, and if it’s Zac who falls in love first, Vanessa will fall apart and spiral out of control.

The end of a love affair is painful, so it’s cute they say they will be “friends forever”.  Oh to be young and stupid.  A train wreck is coming and we’ll watch, as much as we want to turn away. To Zac, you are fabulous, and to Vanessa, buy some Kleenex and keep the faith.

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December 13, 2010 | 10:16 am

Hike – Brunch – Sex – Teens – Allergies – ER – Doctors – Fear – Sleep - Faith

Posted by Ilana Angel

I had a very interesting weekend.  It was full of ups and downs and I’m ending my weekend exhausted and in desperate need of a weekend.  I had a great Saturday, followed by a heartbreaking Sunday that tested my faith.

Saturday morning started as it always does with a hike up Runyon Canyon here in Los Angeles.  I hike with the same group of people each week and I have come to love each of them since joining their group a year ago.

We go out for brunch after our hikes, but this week we all got together at the home of one of our group for a special brunch to mark the holidays and our friendship, as some of the group will be away for the holidays.

It was fabulous.  A chef came and cooked a brilliant meal for us.  We ate, drank, laughed and got caught up on everyone’s plans for the holidays.  It was extra special because this weekend my son decided to join us.  Our group is half married couples, and half single people.  We were talking about dating and kids when I said I never introduced men I was dating to my son.  The conversation made it’s way from dating to sex.

It is fascinating to hear the opinions and thoughts of a teen on sex.  I was not surprised to hear my son talk about sex, nor was it shocking that he had an opinion.  It was telling however to hear his take on what sex was and meant.  I am proud of him for being so open to share.  I was also proud of his choices.  My child respects women.  He will need a few more lessons along the way, but he is doing well.  He is a mensch who also respects himself.

I loved our brunch.  I love that my son was a part of it, and I love my friends.  They are great people and I am honored to be a part of our hiking group.  I must love them to drag my ass up that mountain each week!  Later that day I went to a show at my child’s school and it was phenomenal.  We went home Saturday night and all was well.  Nothing is better than a night out with my son, ending up with our both home safe and sound.

Sunday morning we woke up and went out for coffee and a bagel.  It was a glorious day here in Los Angeles and we sat outside to have a lovely breakfast.  We then went home to take care of some chores and it was nice.  Around 12:30 my son went out with a friend to grab some lunch and see a movie.  I spent the afternoon at home writing.  At 2:30 I got a call from my son telling me that he had a sneezing fit and was now not feeling well.

He asked if I could pick him up and take him to the doctor.  I told him I was on my way.  By the time I got my shoes on and grabbed my keys, he had called again to say that he needed to go to the hospital right away.  I called my girlfriend in a panic, and by the time I got to my son she was already there.  She stayed with his friend until her dad could pick her up and I raced my son to the ER.  He was having a severe allergic reaction.

We walked in the hospital, they rushed him back, and immediately gave him an epinephrine injection. They hooked him up to an IV, gave him a couple of shots, and started him on a breathing treatment.  It was an out of body experience.  My son was calm and articulate with the doctor.  He was able to explain what was happening and I stood by in awe of this remarkable child.  I was so very proud of how he handled himself.

I was fine on the outside and dying inside.  I have never been so scared.  I love this child beyond description and watching him in the hospital was very hard.  The fear that took over my body was consuming.  I don’t live my life in fear.  It has been hard over the past few hours however, to not be overcome with fear.  My son is fine.  He is home and resting, and I am trying to not let the fear of yesterday rule me but it’s hard.

I did not sleep last night.  Not for one minute.  I snuggled up to my son in his room and watched him all night.  I listened to his breathing, held his hand, and just enjoyed the quiet.  I relived every moment I’ve been with him.  My whole life is about this child.  Watching his dreams come true is my greatest joy, and all my own dreams are wrapped around him.  The last few hours have been scary and caused me to lean on my faith.

I prayed for this little boy before he was even born.  I wanted to be a mother since I was a little girl and watching him in pain or discomfort is felt deep in my core.  I love this child more than anything else is the world. To every parent who has lost a child, or has a child that is sick, I send you my support.  I am blessed to have a healthy child and this was simply a temporary bump in the road and I thank God I am a mother to this child.

My son is now the proud owner of an epi pen.  He thinks it’s all very James Bond.  I think, deep down, he is scared and putting on a brave face.  He will be fine.  The swelling will go down and this will be something we talk about for years.  Thank you to the doctors and nurses at my local hospital for taking such great care of my child.  To my delicious boy, I’m glad you are feeling better.  You are the single greatest thing in my life and I love you.

Sidebar:  To the gorgeous Doctor Oren who was calm and supportive during my nervous breakdown, you are wonderful.  To the two male nurses who were attentive, compassionate and painfully attractive, you get an A+ for your bedside manners and an A++ for the blue eyes and sparkly white teeth.  My new crush is male nurses.  Seriously.  Fabulous.  Seriously.

I am fortunate that I never leave anything unsaid with my friends and my family.  Everyone knows exactly how I feel, and my love is out there for everyone to see.  I would suggest to those reading that you do the same.  Life is a blessing.  Thank God my son is fine.  Thank you to my dear friend for getting there so quickly.  Thank you to my son for being brave, being okay, and for being the very reason I keep the faith.

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December 9, 2010 | 8:39 am

My Mother, The Airport, Saying Good Bye, Crying, Money and Sean Penn

Posted by Ilana Angel

My mom went back to Canada today and I am sad.  She is super cute, very funny, and just a fun girl to be around.  She was here for two weeks and it flew by.  We didn’t do anything special, just hung out.  It was low key and the only bad thing about her visit was that it was too short.

My son and her have a great relationship and both he and I love having her here.  Hearing them laugh together was so special, and the highlight for me was coming home after a long day, sitting with her on the couch, having her play with my hair, and listening to my day.  It was really wonderful.

This summer I will have lived in Los Angeles for twenty years, which means that I will have been missing her for that long.  I feel a little panic every time my son goes off to school because he is away from me, so I can’t imagine how it is for her with me so far because we are very close.

We can certainly get on each other’s nerves, and our relationship is not all rainbows, but we have something special.  I love her with no limitations.  There is nothing I would not do for her, and I would fight for whatever she needed.  At the end of the day, beyond loving her, I like her.

My son and I took her to the airport and it was hilarious because she hates to fly, so in order to calm her nerves, she talks.  She rambles on about random things that seem to come out of left field and have nothing to do with what we were talking about when the conversation started.

She is little, under 5 feet, and refuses to sit in the front seat of the car.  My son and I were in the front and as we pulled up to the airport I looked in the rearview mirror and could barely see the top of her head.  She’s just a little thing in the back, talking about nothing in particular.

Then our airport routine begins.  She asks if I need money, I tell her no.  I ask if she needs money, she tells me she is fine.  She waits for me to go check her in and then starts giving money to my kid, swearing him to secrecy, and making sure he has all her American currency.

Then when we are walking to drop her off at security, my son tells me how much she gave him, I then double the amount and slip it into her purse.  Then we say goodbye, hug, kiss, promise to see each other soon, and she is off.  I wait until she is out of sight, then I start crying.

After about twenty minutes she calls to say she is at her gate and all is well.  She tells me she loves me and had a wonderful time.  I ask her how much money she gave my son, and she denies she gave him any.  I then tell her to check her wallet and she finds the money I hid there.

She yells at me for putting it there, but there is nothing she can do because she has cleared security.  It’s our little dance and it never changes.  I would give her every penny I had if it made her life easier or better.  I love her, I love our dance, and I can’t wait for her to come back.

My son and I are walking to the car because I never leave the airport until I know she is safely through all the hurdles.  We are walking and I am crying.  I am telling him how much I love her and what a great mom she is, and he tells me I am a great mom too, so I cry harder.

If I am a great mom, which let’s be clear I am, it’s because she is.  As I walk arm in arm with my son I am dwarfed by him.  He is much taller than me and I imagine that soon I will be the small old lady in the back of the car being driven to the airport after a visit.

It all comes full circle.  I know my son will love me as much as I love my mother and that is wonderful.  You don’t have to have a great mother to be a great mother.  I am simply blessed that is the case in my family.  I miss her and look forward to her coming back soon.

As my son and I got home the phone rang.  It was my mom calling to say she was at her gate and would be boarding soon.  She was very excited that in her last few minutes in “Hollywood’, she met a celebrity.  Sitting in the airport waiting for his flight, was Sean Penn.

My mom loves Sean Penn so she went over, introduced herself, and let him know she loved his work, and thought he had lost too much weight.  He was lovely to her.  He shook her hand, told her he was so pleased she said hello, they chatted, and it made her day.

It was a great visit and we enjoyed being together.  I can smell her perfume around my home and it is comforting.  Estee Lauder Youth Dew.  That’s my mom.  I am counting the days until I see her again, counting my blessing to have a great mom, and keeping the faith.

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