November 19, 2010 | 9:30 am

Who Knew The Best Sex Education Classes Were at Temple?

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Last week I was invited to be the featured speaker for a single’s event put on by Stephen S. Wise temple, here is Los Angeles.  They have a singles group called “Social Circle”, and it’s for people who range in age from 45 to 65, give or take a few years on either side.

I was a little nervous because I was not sure if the guests were familiar with my blog, my perspective, or my honest and open style of writing, which happens to also be how I speak.  I write about dating, sex, getting older, and raising a boy to be a man, but what would I talk about?

I was a little panicked as I drove up because I imagined there would be me and one other person there.  I had invited a few friends to come along so when it was cancelled, because nobody cared about what I had to say, we could all go out for dinner and have a good laugh at my epic failure.

I parked my car, and as I looked around to see where I was to go, a couple parked next to me and I asked if they were going to the singles event, they were, and we walked in together.  They were a smidge older than me and so I began to wonder if I could talk about sex and dating with this group.

It turned out there were about 50 people there, and the average age was around 62.  A little older than me, or the age of men that I date, but it was a nice group and even though I was nervous, and dealing with a bad cold, I got up, with my friends cheering me on, and jumped right in.

I spoke a little bit about my blog, my dating disasters, and my hope to one day fall in love again.  I spoke of how great it was to reach a point of comfort in your own skin, to be uninhibited, and to own your sexuality, only to realize there are not a lot of options at this age for an active sex life.

As soon as I said it I got nervous again.  What was I doing talking about sex with a group of 60 somethings?  Before it really sank in that I had just crossed a line, the hands went up and what happened next was the most fascinating and fabulous conversation I’ve had in a long time.

We talked about sex and dating.  It turns out fears and frustrations are the same whether you are 20, 40 or 60.  The women wanted to have sex, and often, yet were hesitant to give themselves permission.  The men were open to having sex, but not that into having a relationship.

One woman came up to me and privately asked me if it was okay to have sex if it was just going to be about sex, and not be a relationship.  After I got over the initial desire to hug her, I gave her permission.  I think it’s so sad that she needed permission from anyone.

I don’t think sex is bad, and I don’t think women should think badly about themselves for being sexual.  There is a huge difference being sexually promiscuous and simply being sexual.  At this stage of my life I thought it would get easier but it turns out it just stays the same.

The women shared that even in their 60’s, men want to hunt.  Then after they have sex, proving they can still do it, they become more focused on having a companion, so the sex becomes less important and less frequent.  I was told older men have infrequent sex.

How heartbreaking that you reach a point when you can swing from the rafters, but there is nobody to swing with.  Dating a younger man is not my thing.  I could meet the man of dreams, he could be 60, and according to some of these ladies, I would never have sex.

I had a great time with the Social Circle group.  They meet often and I look forward to going back and picking up our discussion where we left off.  I arrived thinking I had a lot of answers and left with a ton of questions.  At 44 years old, is the best part of my adult sexual life over?

In the end, while my speech was well received, the real winner was the Q & A part.  People want to talk.  They want someone to open the door to a frank discussion about love, sex, dating and self worth.  We all want to be with someone, and I guess sometimes we need permission.

I hope that my sex life is not over.  I hope that I have the spunk that this group did when I am in my 60’s.  I hope I meet a man who wants a relationship that is sexual, not a sexual relationship.  I hope I find him before I buy another cat because at that point it will all be over for me.

I think I should make the rounds on the temple singles circuit.  I had the best time, and feel it’s time to start talking about sex in these forums.  It is an empowering thing to help someone allow themselves to be sexy, and also an opportunity for me to learn something new.

What I walked away from the evening with is this: meeting new people, and sharing stories of what it’s like out there in the real world of dating and sex, is fantastic.  People are willing to listen, and crave the opportunity to talk about it.  It was an awesome night and I left keeping the faith.

November 18, 2010 | 9:51 am

Prince William to Marry Kate Middleton & We Again Mourn Princess Diana

Posted by Ilana Angel

I remember the day Princess Diana passed away very clearly.  My son was a baby and my mother was visiting from Canada.  We sat up for hours watching the news waiting to hear word that she would be okay.  It was unimaginable that she would not be fine.  It truly was a shocking day.

I had the honor of meeting Princess Diana when I was a young girl.  She came on an official visit to Halifax, where my family was living, and I remember standing tin the rain for a very long time to get a glimpse of her up close.  She walked by in two seconds but I treasure seeing her.

She was beautiful and I loved her.  I followed her life and felt her heartache as the fairytale ended.  She was a remarkable woman and I was devastated when she died.  I was a new mother, inspired by how much she loved her kids, and the harsh reality was that there are no guarantees.

The passing of Princess Diana really shaped who I was to become as a mother.  I did everything for my kid with the thought that if I were to suddenly pass away, he would know exactly how much I loved him.  My life with my son has been about building a history, not just living a life.

I am blessed to be a mother to this boy, and we live a life of no fear in terms of saying how we feel.  He knows how much I love him.  I hope to one day hug my great grandchildren, but if I don’t, he will be able to tell them of me in a way that will make me proud, and allow my memory to live forever.

It is sad that Diana is not here to watch her firstborn son get married.  She is watching and I’m sure, feels happy for her boy, and touched that he has given Kate her engagement ring.  To be honest, at first I thought it was a little creepy that William proposed with that ring.

I spoke with my son about it actually and told him I thought it was odd that she would have a ring that symbolized a marriage that was so unhappy.  My brilliant son said it was not about Diana’s marriage, but rather William’s mother.  He wanted Kate to have something of his mother’s.  I love this kid.

I don’t know if it was on purpose or not, but I think it was lovely Kate wore a blue dress to announce the engagement, just as Diana did.  It was a sweet thing, and my hopelessly romantic heart felt is was a gentle nod to Diana.  There will be other little nothings along the way that will be special.

Everything that Kate does and says will be compared to Diana and that is daunting.  It’s an incredible amount of pressure and I feel for her.  She will do fine though, and I hope the press with allow her a moment to breathe, although we know that will never happen.

I heard that Charles and Diana spent a total of 28 days together before they got engaged, compared to the years William and Kate have been together, including living together.  To compare the two couples is like comparing apples and oranges but you can’t help it.

I wish William and Kate a life of happiness and peace.  I know William loved his mother and she will be a part of wedding.  I will watch their wedding and I will cry, just as I did when Diana and Charles got married.  I will cry tears of joy for them, and tears of sorrow that Diana is not there.

Being a mother is my greatest joy.  I am doing the best I can, and truly believe I am doing a great job.  My life as a mom was shaped by the death of Princess Diana and she will forever be in my heart.  She taught me to make each day count, to build a history with my child, and to always keep the faith.

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November 17, 2010 | 10:20 pm

Heidi Montag Will Not Allow Dr. Ryan to Rest in Peace

Posted by Ilana Angel

I think this woman is sad, and by sad of course I mean disgusting.  How fascinating that after a year of telling anyone who would listen, that’s about 7 people, that her plastic surgeon was a genius, she is now saying that Dr. Frank Ryan “led her on” when he performed 10 procedures on her in one day.

Seriously Heidi, you make a living being a liar and we are supposed to believe anything you say?  Montag says Dr. Frank Ryan, who passed away in August in a car accident, never told her that what she was doing was “excessive”.  Clearly he increased her ball size in addition to her boobs.

She spoke forever about how great Ryan was, that she loved him, that he changed her life, that he was a hero, but now that he is dead, she is changing her tone.  I bed she would not be pulling more of her crap if Ryan were still alive.  This poor man cannot rest in peace because of this loon.

Nobody put a gun to her head and told her to turn herself into a Barbi. I find it unlikely Ryan, who spent years building a practice and reputation, told her she was brilliant for doing all these procedures in one day.  That sounds like it could be true.  By true of course I mean no one is listening Heidi.

I’m not saying Ryan was right in doing so much on a patient in one day, but let the man rest in peace you ungrateful pig.  Why wait until he is dead to trash him?  Because he cannot defend himself or say you are full of crap?  This celebrity whore wants another 15 minutes of fame and I’m done.

I will never understand why this woman is famous.  I will never understand why she stays married to someone like Spencer.  I will never understand what she did to her body, and I will never understand why her 15 minutes is taking so long.  I want her to go away so I am going to simply keep the faith.

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November 17, 2010 | 2:24 am

Dancing With The Stars: Brandy Is Out, Jennifer Shines & Bristol Might Win

Posted by Ilana Angel

I predicted Brandy would get the boot this week.  She was a great dancer, and looked beautiful, but her attitude and personality were just not attractive. There was something about her that was a little snotty and weird.  Maybe the thing that was off putting about her was her partner Max.

I just never dug her.  She did not come across as someone that I would want to hang out with, would have anything interesting to say, or was particularly real.  You cannot deny she is a beautiful dancer, and her performance this last week before the finals was impressive, but it was simply not enough.

This is a show that is decided by America and I am proud of the people for their votes this week.  By the people, of course I mean me, because I voted for Jennifer and Bristol, and they are both headed to the finals along with Kyle Massey, the adorable young man of Disney Channel fame.

Kyle is not going to win.  He is fun and entertaining, but he’s not going to win.  I’m sure his freestyle will be a highlight and good for him for being the last man standing.  I have met him several times since he was a little kid, and this is a good boy, with a great family, and so good for him.

If the best dancer is to win, then it will be Jennifer.  She is the comeback kid and DWTS will resurrect her career, which is a good thing.  She is lovely and there is something about her that reminds people of my generation of our youth.  We are happy that she is okay and doing well.

The dark horse is Bristol Palin and I think everyone, including Bristol, is surprised she is still there. She is not the best dancer, she is however the only non-performer so one could argue that she is the most improved, working the hardest, and the one who has totally left her comfort zone.

Bristol has consistently had the lowest scores from the judges, but here she is, in the finals.  America is clearly voting for her.  There are all these articles about how the supporters of her mother are sending a message to Sarah that if she runs for President, they will vote for her too.

Really people?  How is it possible that a fluff show like Dancing With The Stars can be turned into a political machine that is helping determine the next President of the United States?  It’s a stretch.  They’re just dancing people.  That’s all they are doing.  Seriously.  Enough with the politics.

Bristol is harmless.  Voting for her does not mean you like to shoot wolves from helicopters, or you think her mom should be President.  Voting for Bristol means you are a fan of dancing and can appreciate that of all the contestants this season, she is the only who became a dancer.

Everyone else started out as a performer, having danced on some level.  Even if they were not professional dancers, they were all professional performers, except for Bristol.  I think in the end I will probably vote for Jennifer because I love her and think she is a phenomenal dancer.

That said, I will hold my vote until I see the final dances, especially the free style.  If Kyle and Bristol blow my socks off they will get my vote.  Why?  Because I am voting for the best dancer, not to send a message about who I think might be good to lead the free world.

This has been a great season and whoever wins will be cool with me and I’m looking forward to seeing how it all plays out.  If you love this show, then vote because your vote will decide the winner.  To Kyle, Bristol and the divine Jennifer, keep the faith.

 

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November 15, 2010 | 10:16 pm

After a Vow to Never Return, Leo DiCaprio is Back in Israel with Bar Refaeli

Posted by Ilana Angel

In 2006, Leonardo DiCaprio went to Israel with his girlfriend Bar Rafaeli.  After being mobbed everywhere they went, there was a fight between a paparazzi and one of Leo’s bodyguards during a visit to the Western Wall.  Leo was disgusted, left Israel early, and vowed to never visit again.

Well surprise, surprise, Leo has returned to the promised land, having arrived in Israel for a holiday with Bar, his mom, and friend Kevin Connolly of “Entourage” fame.  They are there to visit with Bar’s family and celebrate Leo’s 36th birthday.  They went to Israel after visiting Jordan and Egypt.

I suppose that no matter how turned off a man can be by a bad visit to Israel, when a girl like Bar asks you to forgive and forget, you do it.  It’s insane how beautiful this girl is.  She is mesmerizing, and even though chicks aren’t my thing, I’d be hard pressed to say no to her.

I hope people leave them alone and allow for a nice holiday.  I also hope Leo can remove the pole out of his tuchas long enough to accept that he is a celebrity, and even though it’s annoying, better that they have a camera in his face then wonder who he is or what movie he was in.

You are famous Leo.  You have a beautiful girlfriend, and are in her native land.  Suck it up, be a mensch, and don’t take it so seriously.  If someone gets in your face, do what you need to do, just don’t sulk off and vow to never return.  It’s lame.  Enjoy Israel, be safe, and keep the faith.

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November 15, 2010 | 12:52 pm

Manny Pacquiao, My New Celebrity Crush, Should Go On Dancing With The Stars

Posted by Ilana Angel

I had no idea who this guy was last week.  I had heard his name, but could not have told you anything about him.  With all the hoopla about his fight this weekend, and having seen him sing the John Lennon classic “Imagine” on Jimmy Kimmel with Will Ferrell, I decided to do a little research.

Ferrell and Pacquiao’s Imagine Duet

I found out a lot about this man, namely that I love him.  Seriously, this guy rocks.  Emmanuel Dapidran Pacquiao was born in 1978 in the Philippines.  He is accomplished in ways I never would have imagined.  This man is a hero and I am so impressed with him that it’s now love.

His parents divorced when he was a kid, and he is one of six children.  He is married and has four kids of his own.  He is a devout Roman Catholic, lives in the Philippines, and has achieved things are simply super hero-esque.  If my kid wants to look up to an athlete, this is the guy.

Aside from being an 8 time world champion, he is also a member of Congress in the Philippines, as well as a military reservist for the Philippine Army, with the rank of Sergeant Major.  He dropped out of school at age 14 because his single mother could not afford to take care of all her children.

In 2007 he passed his GED, and was also presented with an Honorary Degree of Doctor of Humanities.  Then, when he was preparing to be a Congressman, got certified in Development, Legislation, and Governance.  Who is this man?  He is a mensch and really remarkable.

He is an amazing boxer, but I don’t really care about that part.  I’ve actually been to a few boxing matches and I totally dug it.  In fact, my own Rabbi is a boxing champion.  While I completely understand his boxing career is impressive, it is his life outside of the ring, that is inspiring.

I want him to live happily ever after.  He is charming, funny, smart, adorable, menschy, philanthropic and has overcome a lot to achieve remarkable things.  Anyone who is down on their luck and wondering if things will get better, needs to look at Manny’s journey.

I know I’m gushing, but here’s the thing:  I am a single mother raising a boy to be a man, and finding role models for him that he respects and does not think are lame, is sometimes hard.  This is a guy that both a mother and son can admire, and that does not happen often.

I think he should be a contestant on the next Dancing With The Stars.  I think he would be fantastic and his votes would go through the roof.  He is insanely popular, an icon to boxing fans, an idol to the Filipino people, and a hero to millions, myself included.

He should be partnered with Cheryl Burke, who is part Filipino.  I can imagine them gliding around the dance floor and every single person who watches falling in love with him.  So this is officially now a petition for Manny to be on Dancing With The Stars and I cast the first vote.

Congratulations to Manny Pacquiao on his win Saturday night.  He is a stellar athlete, and whether you are a boxing fan or not, this man is amazing.  A role model to kids all over the world, he has the ability to inspire them to never give up, and always keep the faith.

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November 15, 2010 | 9:25 am

Alaska is Spectacular and Like It or Not, Sarah Palin is a Television Star

Posted by Ilana Angel

“Sarah Palin’s Alaska”, premiered Sunday night on TLC and no matter what you think about this woman’s politics, you cannot watch this show and not like her.  If you watch it, and do not dig her and her family, then your opinion is based on politics.  Get over it because this is a good show.

TLC is airing an 8 part series featuring Palin and her family, but the real star is Alaska.  It is magnificent, and after one show I am ready to book my next vacation.  It is a gorgeous part of the world and I imagine this show will boost the number of tourists going to visit this amazing state.

We start the show meeting 9 year old Piper.  She is adorable and calls Palin Sarah instead of Mom.  I remember the first time my son called me Ilana instead of Mom.  I was so thrown that he had to say my name a few times before I got he was talking to me, because I thought my name was Mom.

Piper tells us about her mother’s Blackberry addiction, which is cute and true of most working mothers.  Palin walks us through the show and is our tour guide across Alaska.  She speaks with ease and knowledge, and comes across as witty and entertaining.  She’s very likeable.

They go salmon fishing and within minutes there are bears within feet of the boat and it’s awesome.  They are so close you really get a sense of the majesty of Alaska.  Two bears fight right in front of them, and Palin remains calm, watching with the same wonder of her children.

We get glimpses of daughter Willow, who walks around like a miserable teenager, which is really funny.  Funny for any of us who have teenagers.  All our kids are the same and interchangeable.  They are a species of human all their own, and walk around mortified by their parents.

Palin does a television appearance from the studio at her home, and Todd is there working as her director/producer.  He is the one in the background politically, but quite present at home.  He is attractive, quiet, supportive, and more hands on than I had realized.  Quiet, but involved.

Palin is super active.  She is not afraid to get her hands dirty, and do all the outdoorsy things that are available to her in Alaska.  She is much braver than I am.  The family jumps on bush planes like New Yorkers jump in a taxi, and that is one thing I would not be able to do with such ease.

The scenery is divine.  It is beyond gorgeous and there are shots of mountains and waterfalls where you know the hand of God is involved.  Cruises to Alaska have always been popular, but there is so much more to Alaska.  It is now on the top of my list of places to go.

Todd and Sarah are hiking up Ruth’s Glacier in Denali National Park and it is both exhilarating and scary.  I’m not sure I could be that brave, and this particular activity won’t make it onto my list of things to do.  The feeling of accomplishment is not worth falling into a glacier.

On her way up Sarah panics and is not into it.  She is afraid of heights, and frozen with fear.  She says she was too cocky, and was now being punished for it.  She is frustrated, yelling for Todd, vulnerable, real, scared, funny, and at the end of the day, a really cool woman, just living her life.

I know people either love her or hate her and if they hate her, they probably hate anyone who loves her.  I know she is a polarizing force.  I know.  I’m ready for the attacks so bring them on.  However, unless you’ve watched the show, I’m not interested in your opinion.

Sarah Palin is a television star.  Like it or not, she is a shining light and people head to the light.  Alaska is beautiful, and I look forward to spending a few weeks there with the Palin family and TLC.  It’s about Alaska not Sarah, so don’t be a hater.  Just enjoy the scenery and keep the faith.

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November 14, 2010 | 2:05 am

Manny Pacquiao is A Superstar, A Hero and My New Celebrity Crush

Posted by Ilana Angel

I had no idea who this guy was last week.  I had heard his name, but could not have told you anything about him.  With all the hoopla about his fight this weekend, and having seen him sing the John Lennon classic “Imagine” on Jimmy Kimmel with Will Ferrell, I decided to do a little research.

Ferrell and Pacquiao’s Imagine Duet

I found out a lot about this man, namely that I love him.  Seriously, this guy rocks.  Emmanuel Dapidran Pacquiao was born in 1978 in the Philippines.  He is accomplished in ways I never would have imagined.  This man is a hero and I am so impressed with him that it’s now love.

His parents divorced when he was a kid, and he is one of six children.  He is married and has four kids of his own.  He is a devout Roman Catholic, lives in the Philippines, and has achieved things are simply super hero-esque.  If my kid wants to look up to an athlete, this is the guy.

Aside from being an 8 time world champion, he is also a member of Congress in the Philippines, as well as a military reservist for the Philippine Army, with the rank of Sergeant Major.  He dropped out of school at age 14 because his single mother could not afford to take care of all her children.

In 2007 he passed his GED, and was also presented with an Honorary Degree of Doctor of Humanities.  Then, when he was preparing to be a Congressman, got certified in Development, Legislation, and Governance.  Who is this man?  He is a mensch and really remarkable.

He is an amazing boxer, but I don’t really care about that part.  I’ve actually been to a few boxing matches and I totally dug it.  In fact, my own Rabbi is a boxing champion.  While I completely understand his boxing career is impressive, it is his life outside of the ring, that is inspiring.

I want him to live happily ever after.  He is charming, funny, smart, adorable, menschy, philanthropic and has overcome a lot to achieve remarkable things.  Anyone who is down on their luck and wondering if things will get better, needs to look at Manny’s journey.

I know I’m gushing, but here’s the thing:  I am a single mother raising a boy to be a man, and finding role models for him that he respects and does not think are lame, is sometimes hard.  This is a guy that both a mother and son can admire, and that does not happen often.

Congratulations to Manny Pacquiao on his win Saturday night.  He is a stellar athlete, and whether you are a boxing fan or not, this man is amazing.  A role model to kids all over the world, he has the ability to inspire them to never give up, and always keep the faith.

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