August 30, 2010 | 11:32 pm

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Implode & Must Be Cancelled

Posted by Ilana Angel

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In terms of the reality of reality television, this show is quite simply the most disgusting show on television.  I am embarrassed for these women, their children, and their families.  They need to all be gathered up as a group and have the crap kicked out of them.  Seriously ladies, grow the hell up.

I have avoided this show like the plague.  I’ve gotten sucked in a couple of times, which has been painful.  I try to look away but I can’t stop.  My eyes start bleeding but I can’t stop watching.  They are repulsive women, and I do not understand why they have not been cancelled.

Within the first few minutes of the reunion Teresa proves that she is a skanky, disgusting pig.  This woman is horrible, and the entire season has been focused on how Danielle is an unfit mother, but let’s call a spade a spade.  Teresa is ridiculous and needs to be locked up.

It is clear from the get go that this is a gang attack on Danielle.  They came to the table ready to fight.  You’ve got to know this show needs to be off the air when you watch and are actually cheering for Danielle.  Danielle is a whackadoodle and yet I feel bad for her.

To be clear, when I use the word “lady” to describe any woman on this show, what I really mean is “psychotic bitch”.  That would use up too much space so if you don’t mind, whenever you read the word “lady”, substitute it with “psychotic bitch” and you will know how I really feel.

Teresa is calling Danielle a whore for having sex in her home with Steve.  She calls Danielle out for being slutty, which is fascinating since we saw Teresa mount her husband on television.  Just because you are married, does not mean you are classy.  Teresa is just as bad as Danielle.

The sarcasm is dripping like an annoying faucet.  I’m fascinated by how they are all acting and all I want to do is shut the television, yet I watching in horror.  If I were from New Jersey, I would rather people tell me I remind them of the chicks of Jersey Shore over the “ladies” of Bravo.

Important to note, I have always been a fan of Andy Cohen, but he could not be less attractive than he was tonight.  He is a celebrity whore.  This guy is all about money and not the well being of the “ladies” who are making him all the money.  Be careful Andy.  You are becoming a pig.

We find out the accusation from last year’s reunion show, that caused Caroline to cry and lose her mind, was that Danielle tried to have Lexi taken away from Dina.  I think Danielle needs to be under medical care, but I do not think she tried to have Lexi taken from Dina.  Just not buying it.

They are talking about some nonsense and Teresa freaks out.  She stands up, gets in Danielle’s face in a seriously threatening way, and I start praying it’s all a dream and I’ve just dozed off in front of an old episode of The Sopranos.  Teresa proves she is truly a piece of garbage.

To say she is cursing like a sailor would be unkind to the military.  She is screaming and cussing like a coke whore who just realized she has no more drugs and no one around to screw for money so she can get more crack.  If I were Italian I would be mortified that this woman was my people.

Teresa is being gross, and Jacqueline is fixing her hair, oblivious to what has just happened and clearly thinking about why there are no snacks out.  Danielle is in the back crying and I actually feel sorry for her.  Her hairdresser is calming her down while her lesbian lover is comforting her.

Andy is making light of the whole thing, and laughing with Teresa which is really disgusting.  Why is nobody suing his ass for putting their lives and mental health in danger?  Hey Andy Cohen, you’re going to hell my friend and there is not a lot of time to turn that decision around.

Every time Danielle speaks, one of the “ladies” talks over her or says something sarcastic.  It’s annoying.  Caroline is talking about her kids and cries, and Danielle says to get her a tissue.  Is it just me or is Danielle looking like a lady, while the other girls are looking like “ladies”?

Sidebar:  The entire conversation that Andy has with Teresa about her financial woes is a complete and total pile of crap.  I do not believe one single thing she says about any of it.  She is insane, put her husband into bankruptcy and should go live in a trailer for a year.  Liar.

Additionally: The entire conversation that Andy has with Teresa about Joe and his drunk driving arrest is a complete and total pile of crap.  I do not believe one single thing she says about any of it.  She is insane, drove her husband to drink, and should go live in a trailer for a year.  Liar.

They talk about Danny, and Danielle says she never slept with him, was not the cause of his divorce, and he’s not that big a deal to her.  Meanwhile, she spent the entire season talking about how much she loved him and cared for him. He was her friend yet she sells him down the river.

She claims the Sweet Sixteen party was donated and she spent no money.  Whatever.  She says she was a born again virgin because she was refraining from sex, but now she is sexually active again.  Whatever.  Does Andy not have anything of interest to ask her?  This useless crap.

Danielle won’t come out and say she is pretending to be a lesbian.  It’s now boring and as Danielle is talking about her girlfriend, I am daydreaming about slapping Andy Cohen across the face.  Danielle then says she is what she is on television because of how she is edited.

Caroline calls her out on the statement by saying it has nothing to do with editing, and they all are exactly what we see on Bravo.  Then Caroline channels Kelly and says something about Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride that makes absolutely no sense.  Satchels of gold Sweetie.

Andy now wants to talk about Danielle’s sex tapes.  Apparently this is more about an update with Danielle than a reunion with all the girls.  They are still talking about the sex tapes but I gauged my eyes out and needed to grab a towel so I missed part of that conversation.

Danielle seems to think that her kids have no idea about what is going on with their mother because they do not watch the show.  Really?  Danielle, I can assure you that your kids know every single thing that you say and do, and are plotting their escape at this exact moment.

Caroline is now ranting about the Okay Corral and actually says “yippee ki-yay”.  Is she kidding?  Is she drunk?  Who are these people and why are they on television?  What happened to the good old days of Tamara, Vicky, Jill and Ramona?  We were all so happy then.  Bravo sucks.

The worst, and yet best part of this reunion, is that it will continue next week.  I am seriously going to pray that next week will be the last we see of these “ladies”.  I’m over it and think they are a danger to themselves and each other.  Will they be cancelled?  I’m keeping the faith.

August 30, 2010 | 6:54 pm

Dancing With The Stars New Cast Break Down: Train Wrecks Guaranteed

Posted by Ilana Angel

It’s official!  We have a new cast for the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars.  It’s an interesting group.  Some people make perfect sense and have been a long time coming, while others are very confusing.  In most cases the stars are dancing with dancers, but in some instances, the dancers are more famous than the star.  Here is the breakdown, by age, with the youngest first and the most fabulous last!

Kyle Massey, 19 - He is cute and the teenyboppers will dig him. He is charming and funny so he’s got that going for him whether he can dance or not.  He is the token Disney Channel celebrity that the kids will know, and we will not pay much attention to.  He was a chubby kid, is a solid young man, and he is going out there to work up a sweat.  For that reason alone he is a role model and should be given a shot.

Bristol Palin, 20 - Oh.  My.  God.  I’m not sure why, but I can’t wait to see her give it a go.  You know Levi must have been praying that he would get her spot.  I’m very curious about her.  Will her parents show, does she have rhythm, what will her mother be wearing and how will she handle the hardly there costumes?  I’m pulling for you Bristol, even though I have no idea why and totally reserve the right to throw you under the bus later.

Audrina Patridge, 25 - This is the most disappointing selection in any and all seasons of DWTS.  This chick is “famous” for being on The Hills, but never really said anything. She is beyond skinny, so any weight she loses by dancing may kill her.  Let’s vote her off in the first round to a) save her life and b) send the message that not only do we not know who she is, but we don’t care.  She needs to eat a sandwich and get a real job, in that order.

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, 29 - This “kid” is going to be shirtless every single dance he does.  I say kid because that is the New Jersey lingo. That said, this “kid” is well into his thirties if you ask me.  He has the most magnificent body and is clearly the king of GTL.  The most disturbing thing about him being on this show, is that I’m excited.  I love this guy and want him to do well.  He will be sleeping with Cheryl by the end of week one.

Brandy Norwood, 31 - This chick is a has-been at 31, and I’m not sure it’s her turn to get a second shot.  From her secret marriage, hush, hush divorce, hit and run, and sex tape famous brother, there is nothing particularly appealing about her now. It’s not like when she was the young and insanely popular Moesha.  She was a hugely popular Cinderella for Disney, so let’s see what she’s got.  She could be a surprise talent.

Kurt Warner, 39 - The athlete.  He is cute, talented in his field, and I’m guessing, has no rhythm.  There is an athlete each year, so he will get the votes of all the husbands who are forced to watch by their wives in order to have peace at home.  He could surprise us all and stay for a while, but I’m thinking no.  He’s the all-American scandal free selection that the Bible belt and sports fanatics alike will love and vote through. 

Rick Fox, 41- More famous as an actor, and possibly an ex-husband, than a Laker, Rick is the dreamboat. This man is seriously attractive and his dancing is secondary to the fact that he will be a pleasure to watch.  He really is beautiful and my guess is between him and Warner, he’ll have the better moves.  Depending on the camera angles, and if he looks right in the lens and winks directly at every woman in America, could seal his fate.

Margaret Cho, 42 - She is funny and those of us who know her, like her.  The problem is that not a lot of people know her.  She’s big in the gay community so that will be a plus for her.  Not sure she can dance but she is definitely an underdog in terms of popularity, but at the top of the list in terms of likeability.  I hope she does well and I will certainly throw her a vote or two, good dancing or not.  She seems like a great girl.

Jennifer Grey, 50 - How many times per week will someone make a reference to Baby being the corner?  She is beautiful, does not look as old as she is, and is a sentimental favorite.  Dirty Dancing is iconic and I want to see Patrick Swayze’s wife in the audience, with her dad Joel, cheering her on.  I want very much for her to do well.  This is a career resurrection that is past due, and well deserved.

Michael Bolton, 57 - I like him.  I own his records, think his voice is sexy, and find him to be attractive.  I have also seen him in concert and while he can belt out a tune like no other, dancing is not a natural talent here.  He will stay in it as all us middle age women remember falling in love with him, but he will then go, perform a song on one of the results show, and give new life to his career.  I’m glad he’s here and we get to hear him sing.

David Hasselhoff, 58 - The reality television gods have shined down on all of us and delivered the greatest contestant in the history of reality television.  The Hoff.  He will be there, drunk off his ass, high as a kite, and I for one can’t wait.  I love, love, love this selection and I will vote for him each and every week just so he stays on.  He will deliver a train wreck of epic proportions so we can all just sit back and wait, because it’s a coming.

Florence Henderson, 76 - Put aside the fact that we all wanted her to be our mom, that she rocked a mullet, that she made out with her fake television son, and that she supported and loved a gay actor when it was not cool, give her props for being almost 80 and putting on her dance shoes.  I love her and you will not hear an unkind word from me about Ms. Henderson.  Love her. Wish her well.  End of story.

Some of these selections are embarrassing to what has become a beloved show.  There are elements of reality trash here that just don’t make sense.  It’s not enough to make us not watch, but it will quickly become a popularity contest, over one about talent as a dancer.  Perhaps a name change from Dancing With The Stars to Dancing With Celebrities and Wannabes would be in order.

Each time they announce a new cast we pick our favorites before the first show airs.  There are many I could care less about, but others I feel vested in before it’s even begun.  I will see you diehards back here each Monday night when we can recap, praise and rip apart the cast on this season of DWTS.  Good luck everyone.  I shall try to be kind.  No guarantees, so keep the faith.

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August 29, 2010 | 8:05 pm

Miracle On JDate - The Impossible Has Happened

Posted by Ilana Angel

After two months on JDate, I finally had a date.  To clarify, it was actually my third date since deciding to date exclusively on JDate for six months.  This is the first one however, that does not make me sick to talk about.  To review, I only date Jewish men, and so in an attempt to meet my Beshert, I decided to limit my online search to JDate.

So, I get an email last week from a gentleman who said he enjoyed my profile, to take a look at his, and if I thought he looked interesting, he would like to talk with me.  He was attractive, and his profile came across as normal.  If you’ve ever been on JDate, then you know normal is about the sexiest thing you can be online, and it’s very rare.

I emailed him back, sent my number, he called, we chatted a couple of times, and met for lunch on Sunday afternoon.  He was waiting for me outside the restaurant when I got there.  He looked just like his picture.  In fact, he was probably a little cuter than his pictures.  He was the height and age that was listed on his profile, which is unheard of.

We had a very nice lunch.  He was charming and funny.  We talked about our families, work, and Judaism.  We had enough in common for it to feel safe and comfortable, and subtle differences, which made him intriguing and made me want to know more.  He also happens to have the most beautiful green eyes I have ever seen on a man.

You must sit down now because I am about to tell you something rather shocking.  There is an honest man on JDate.  I know, it sounds like I’m making it up, but it’s true.  It’s not an urban myth.  If there is one, we can assume that there are others.  They exist, and I have seen one.  They walk among us, and with a trained eye, we can learn to spot them easily.

It was a nice afternoon, and while it was not really a love connection, it was a great date.  We had good conversation, were kind and respectful to each other, had a few laughs, and left with a hug and a smile.  He will call, or he won’t, but either way it was a good date and I have not had one of those in a very long time.

Some dates leave you wishing you had not bothered to fix your hair.  You are sick from the moment he opens his mouth, and you pray there will be an earthquake so you can get out quickly.  Other dates leave you feeling hot and bothered and believing love at first sight is possible.  The very best dates however, are those that leave you keeping the faith.

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August 29, 2010 | 9:28 am

Happy Birthday Gilad Shalit

Posted by Ilana Angel

Yesterday was Gilad Shalit’s birthday.  He turned 24, and marked his birthday by spending his fourth year in captivity.  Can any of us wrap our heads around what four years feels like?  Look at the last four years of your lives, and think of ten memorable things that have happened.

Here are ten things from the last four years in my life:

1) My son became a Bar Mitzvah.
2) My son visited Israel.
3) My brother had a daughter.
4) My son started high school.
5) I started my own company.
6) I started writing my blog.
7) I moved into a new home.
8) I became a vegetarian.
9) I adopted two cats.
10) My heart was broken.

Without giving it much thought, these are the first ten things that came to my mind.  It would be impossible for me to list every notable thing that happened and not miss something.  Life is busy, stuff happens, and I would not have wanted to miss anything, good or bad.

Can you imagine what this boy and his family have missed?  Four years.  He has lost four years of his life and they have lost the ability to see their son for four years.  It is heartbreaking that this boy has been a hostage for so long.  It is time for him to come home.

When Gilad was captured, my son was 10.  He was going to Jewish Day School, and still scared of me enough that I could count to 10 and he would do what I said by the time I got to 3.  Today he is 14, his own person, and when I tell him I’m counting to 3, I get to 100 and finally give up.

Four years has transitioned my son from a little boy into a young man.  I have gone from barely being forty, to being quite settled in my mid forties.  My son and I are blessed to live a great life, and more importantly, to live it together.  My heart goes out to the Shalit family.

We must all keep Gilad in our prayers and hope that he comes home soon.  Treasure very moment you have with your family.  Write stuff down.  Remember even the smallest things that happen.  They matter. Love your kids, hold them close, and enjoy every day.

To Gilad, Happy Birthday.  We are here, and praying that you will be home soon.  We can’t imagine what four years feels like to you.  You are a remarkable young man and each and every day that passes, is filled with prayers.  Be strong and always keep the faith.

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August 28, 2010 | 12:17 pm

Black, White, Gay, Straight, Jew, Gentile, Human - Remembering Emmett and Mamie Till

Posted by Ilana Angel

Emmett Till was a 14 year old African American boy from Chicago, whose mother sent him to Mississippi for the summer to visit his cousins.  One day he went to the grocery store to buy candy.  At the store, it was reported he whistled at a white woman.  Later that week, he was brutally murdered.  That was August 28, 1955.  Fifty-five years ago today.

My son is 14 years old.  He goes to the corner store all the time to buy a drink or ice cream with his friends.  This summer, I sent my son on his own to Michigan to spend two weeks at the lake with his best friend and his family.  In 1955, Emmett was having the same summer my son had this year.  My son came home.  Emmett lost his life.

The murder of Emmett Till is noted as one of the events that motivated the American Civil Rights Movement.  It was not only his murder that was shocking, it was also the incredible courage and grace of his mother Mamie.  Mamie insisted on a public funeral with an open casket.  She wanted to show the world what was done to her son, and what was happening in the south.

Mamie wanted people to see that her beloved Emmett was beaten and had one of his eyes gouged out.  He was then shot through the head, and thrown into the Tallahatchie River with a 70-pound cotton gin fan tied around his neck with barbed wire. His body was discovered and retrieved from the river three days later.  He was just a child.

Two men, one of which was the husband of the woman who Emmett whistled at, were acquitted of his murder by a jury of 12 white men.  They later admitted they murdered Emmitt to “make an example” out of him.  The murderers are both dead now, and were never punished for what they did to this boy.  They died proud of what they had done.

It is unfathomable that this could happen.  How far has the United States come in the last 55 years?  On October 21, 1998, Matthew Shepard was murdered for being gay.  On August 24, 2010, Ahmed Sharif was attacked in his New York City taxi for being a Muslim.  What is happening?  How is it possible that today, we are where we were?

I was blessed to meet Mamie Till.  When I worked at Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation, she came on a tour.  It was a weekend, and my son came with me to meet her.  He was about 3 years old.  Mamie was being pushed around in a wheelchair, and at one point my son told her he was tired and asked her if he could have a ride.

Mamie said of course and pulled my son up on her lap.  Once he was settled in, he turned to Mamie and asked her if she was made out of chocolate.  She laughed and stuck out her arm.  My son licked her and told her she tasted like chocolate.  He then put out his arm, she kissed it, and told him he tasted like vanilla.  They both laughed and my son hugged her.

It was a wonderful day.  I knew of Mamie’s story and was so honored to meet her.  I remember telling her I loved her.  As I look at my now 14 year old son, I love her even more.  Mamie was 33 when her baby was murdered.  I look at her strength and I am in awe of her in a way that I did not fully understand when I met her.

As parents it is our obligation to our children to share the story of Emmett and Mamie.  We must teach our children that more important than black, white, gay, straight, Jew, Gentile or Muslim, we are human beings.  If we cannot learn from the past, and not allow history to repeats itself, then what kind of parents are we?  The hate must stop.

Mamie’s autobiography is called Death of Innocence: The Story of the Hate Crime That Changed America.  I encourage you to learn about this remarkable woman.  I carry her love for Emmett in my heart.  I will teach my son about Emmett, and Matthew, and Ahmed.  I will raise my son to have an open heart so that he can change the world.

We must not allow Emmett or Matthew to have died in vain.  We must take what happened to them and fight, so that it never happens to another human being.  We are all the same.  Regardless of faith or color, we are at the core, all the same, and must treat each other with respect and compassion.  It may never happen, but it might, so I’m keeping the faith.

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August 26, 2010 | 8:43 am

Tiger Woods is a Liar & Elin Nordegren is Classy but Naive

Posted by Ilana Angel

The Ex Mrs. Woods gave her first and only interview to People magazine this week.  She says she wants us all to know she did not have any idea her husband was living a double life.  Thanks for telling us, but why talk now?  She has been silent for months, and insists she is private and does not want to be a celebrity, yet is on the cover of a celebrity magazine in a glamour shot, telling us “money can’t buy happiness or put my family back together.”

Even if the estimates are over blown and she only got half of the reported $100 million, that is what is interesting.  We know it was hard, we know she was blindsided, we know he was an idiot, and she should have gotten more.  It would of been refreshing for her to talk about the money.  Not in specific amounts, but to say her life is blessed, beyond “Money doesn’t make you happy, but I have to be honest: It is making some things easier.”

I believe she is heartbroken from what Tiger did to her and their life together.  She is a remarkable mother, and a classy lady.  I think she is naive though, if she thinks we believe money does not make it hurt a little less.  She is young, gorgeous, and rich.  That’s not bad, but she was a nanny, married for a few years, had her heart broken and is now set for life.  It would have been cool if she said something about the financial freedom.

Elin told People magazine:  “I’ve been through hell.  It’s hard to think you have this life, and then all of a sudden — was it a lie? You’re struggling because it wasn’t real. But I survived. It was hard, but it didn’t kill me.”  She is living with her two children only a mile away from Tiger, in a gated community where Woods needs permission to pass through.  I don’t know why I like this part so much, but I do.  Have the guard buzz you in douchelord.

Says she got through the past nine months with long walks and therapy. It is crushing and he was a pig who put her life and the lives of her children in jeopardy, but the money helped as much as the walking did. He had unprotected sex, with many women, while having unprotected sex with his wife, and conceiving a child.  I’m thinking he was not asking for medical records from his skanks.  She should have gotten all his money.

Not a lot of women scorned are able to walk away with the ability to never have to worry about money.  Ever.  I like her and think she is lovely, I just feel disappointed that she was not more open.  If you’re going to talk, go big.  We are interested in her side of the story, but it’s the money that is so fascinating.  Women are in court everyday begging for child support and praying they can take care of their kids.  She talks like she is like everyone else, but she’s not.

She makes no mention of how lucky she feels that came out with financial freedom.  She needs to own that she is better off than most women.  She doesn’t owe us anything, I just think it would have been awesome to say it. I think she is classy for how she has handled herself. She has been a lady and set a wonderful example for her kids.  She has never publically said anything bad about Tiger, and keeps her kids connected to their dad.

That takes class, so good for her.  Would she have been as gracious if there was not so much money involved?  Divorce is the crushing of a dream, but don’t sweep your piles of money under the rug, because we know you have it.  She says: “I felt stupid as more things were revealed — how could I not have known anything? The word betrayal isn’t strong enough. I felt like my whole world had fallen apart.  I felt embarrassed for having been so deceived. I felt betrayed by many people around me.”

Maybe Tiger was talented enough to hide his lies from her.  I find it hard to believe however, that she did not suspect.  Only the two of them, and possibly Barbara Walters, will ever know.  I think that interview is coming. Elin said:  “I am now going to do my very best to show them that alone and happy is better than being in a relationship where there is no trust.” Tiger responded to the article with “I wish her the best in everything.”

At the end of the day, I feel for Elin and her children.  Having gone through divorce when my son was very young, it’s hard, but children are resilient. Her heart will heal, she will trust again, and her children will bring her joy.  Good for her that she ended the speculation and spoke for herself.  It’s a sign of healing, and really awesome that she watched the parodies of her life on SNL and South Park, and is willing to admit they were “pretty hysterical”. 

I came away liking her.  It’s a shame she was not able to transition into a private life being completely open about the money, but I wish her well.  I predict she will meet someone great, have some more kids, and eventually get her happily ever after.  Her life is blessed and if she can separate the princes from gold-digging frogs, all will be well.  Stay strong Elin, and keep the faith.

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August 25, 2010 | 8:38 am

Is Being a High School Freshman Harder For a Boy or His Mom?

Posted by Ilana Angel

My son attended his Freshman Orientation at high school this week.  I volunteered to help out and spent the day at school with a few of the other parents from our middle school.  It was a long, very hot day, and my son left feeling very excited to start high school life.

It was an interesting day.  I got to see the campus, meet some teachers, spend time with other new parents, say hello to some really great kids that will be going on this journey with my son, and ask the Principal some questions.  It was a good day.

What was strange about the day, was that I kept having flashbacks.  They were vivid, and I kept jumping back and forth between now and then.  The flashes were sparked randomly, by the oddest things, and I found myself fighting back tears on and off throughout the day.

When we got to school, we were walking towards the spot where the orientation was to begin.  The kids were walking ahead, and at one point my son turned around and waved at me.  I flashed back to his first day of kindergarten when he did the exact same thing.

As he was walking onto his high school campus for the first time, but I saw my five year old son wave to me.  His friends were all teenagers, and I was my age now, but I could have sworn that I was looking at my young son going off on his own for the first time, and it was shocking.

When the lunch break began, I went with the other parents to sit and eat something.  I walked past the table where my son was sitting with new and old friends.  When I stopped to say hello, he told me he was okay, I didn’t need to worry, and gave my hand a small squeeze.

I flashed back to my twelve year old son, when I was dropping him off at temple for his first trip to Israel. He was settled in the car and about to leave, when he got out of the car, ran over to me, held my hand, gave it a small squeeze, looked me in the eye and said I did not need to worry.

I was sitting with a few parents and we got into an interesting discussion about religion and faith.  One of my friends told me that of all her Jewish friends, I was the one who seemed to embrace Judaism more than anyone else she knew.  I love it that this is how she sees me.

We were talking about faith, and the conversation turned to the Holocaust, and the impact that it had on the Jewish religion.  As I was sharing my views on the subject, I flashed back to when my son was six, and his father married a woman who was not Jewish.

My young son wanted to talk about being Jewish.  He said he was worried he would not be allowed to be Jewish because his stepmother was not Jewish, and God would be mad and not let him be a Jew.  We talked about it, I eased his mind, and he announced he was going to marry a Jewish girl.

I can’t remember what I made for dinner last night, but I remember everything my son has ever told me.  I remember every moment I have been blessed to have this child in my life.  I am foggy on most things that happened in my life before I gave birth to this precious boy.

It was an exciting, but melancholy day.  I cannot believe my baby is now 14, towers over me, and is heading off to high school. He is caring, kind, funny, smart and talented.  I am proud of him and love him more than I can explain or even understand.  He is perfection.

Perhaps the flashbacks where my way of letting go of my baby, and allowing my son to become a young man who is spreading his wings, and starting a new chapter in his life.  At the end of the day, when he went off to bed, I did cry.  Tears of joy that we made it to this place and time.

My son breezed through the day, and If he was nervous I couldn’t tell.  He was calm, cool and collected.  He laughed, had fun, introduced himself to new people, and made the most of the day and the experience.  I am so very proud of him and all he has become.

I imagine when he is graduating college and heading out into his adult life, I will have flashbacks to this time, when he was young and becoming independent. I look forward to every step this boy takes.  He is what powers my heart, and inspires me, every single day, to keep the faith.

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August 24, 2010 | 12:59 am

Real Housewives of New Jersey:  You Are Not Carmelo Soprano Caroline!

Posted by Ilana Angel

I am happy this show is over.  Not because I don’t enjoy watching it, but because I am hoping they clean house, and come back next year with some fresh faces.  They need to get a fabulous Jew in there, and start over.  It’s time for the Sopranos to make a hit and hide the body.

The finale focuses on Caroline deciding to try to make peace with Danielle, get her to drop charges against Ashley, so everyone can stop, leave each other alone, and life can go on.  Caroline is trying to be a lady, and Danielle is once again sucking her children into her insanity.

The best line of the night, of the entire season actually, is when Danielle tells the camera, “Caroline, you are not Carmelo.  You are not a Soprano.  Stop sending out your brilliant ones.”  Seriously, this “women” is a loon and with every word she says, I cringe for her daughters.

Danielle still cannot figure out the correct use of the words “woman” and “women”.  This chick is a complete and total whack job.  Seriously, if they bring her back, or even worse, give her a show of her own, then her kids should sue Bravo for ruining their lives.

Sidebar:  I think a half a glass of coke, mixed with a half a glass of red wine, sounds like it would taste like crap.  I’m curious, and will totally try it, but I’m guessing it’s not going to be a winner.  Is that an Italian thing?  And, most importantly, does it work with Manischewitz?  Maybe it will become my new date drink!

I want to know if the highest volume of eye shadow sales in the United Stares are in New Jersey.  Seriously.  These chicks, regardless of age, pile on the eye make-up.  It’s fascinating.  By fascinating, of course I mean, not that attractive, particularly when it’s baby blue.

Danielle walks in with a stick stuck up her ass.  Caroline on the other hand, smiles, thanks her for coming, and tries to explain herself in a controlled manner.  Danielle is stoic, waiting to pounce, and plays with her fake hair.  We wait for something big, but the fizzle begins.

Caroline is calling Danielle out on her crap, and Danielle is speaking in tongue, and using words she learned when reading the comics at her dentist.  She comes across as someone who is unstable.  By unstable, of course I mean she needs to be under medical care.

Caroline holds it together until the very last second, and then she calls Danielle garbage again.  You were so close Caroline!  She did a brilliant job and I love her.  In the end, after yet another season, I am walking away with nothing but respect for Caroline. 

Danielle gets home and makes her kids say thank you to her monkey men.  Little Jillian gets up to hug them and there is this weird inappropriate vibe that is gross.  Those kids are going to be on poles if someone does not step in to save them.  Their dad needs to seriously man up.

In the end we don’t really get any big moment out of the finale.  It just goes out quietly.  Rumor has it the reunion shows will be explosive, so that will be entertaining, and maybe give us some answers about how the lives of these women unraveled so quickly.

Teresa is disgusting and her spending so much money, even after she filed bankruptcy is shocking.  Her husband is a drunk, brought on no doubt by the stress of being married to a crazy person.  Jacqueline is out of control, and eating her way into a black hole.

Dina got out and managed to stay out.  I’m thinking if they fire Danielle, maybe she will be back for another season.  The Kims are no place to be seen which is fabulous, because I’m not a fan, and hope they are not around when the show comes back. 

In the end, the ladies of New Jersey are yet another example of how Bravo has crossed over to the dark side.  If you think back to the first season of Orange County, it was fun, campy, and a look into a different life.  It’s now a look into a life that none of us would want for ourselves.

And so another season ends in New Jersey, with the confirmation that the Sopranos are alive and well in the Garden State.  Will Bravo ever figure out that they are disgusting their viewers, more than they are entertaining us?  I’m keeping the faith.

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