July 12, 2010 | 8:29 am

A Cat Lady, Roman Polanski, Bethenny Frankel, The Bachelorette and JDate

Posted by Ilana Angel

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-  My son got another cat this weekend.  That makes two, and it’s easier to deal with if I say they belong to my son. It’s always a difficult choice as a single woman to get a cat.  You get one, then two, and before you know it you’ve got a dozen and never leave your house.

The truth is that one cat is now a year old and the new one is three months.  My son will go off to college in 4 years and since he’s probably not schlepping these cats, it’s time for me to deal with the fact that I am single, and the owner of two cats.  Not one, but two. 

I am now putting myself out into the dating pool with feline baggage.  I’m not sure men believe me when I say they are my kid’s cats, because they know the cats will be here long after my boy heads off to university.  I am one embroidered cat sweater away from being a cat lady.

-  This morning Roman Polanski was set free by the Swiss government.  Media outlets are reporting it as “stunning” news.  Really?  It was 33 years ago, and no one really cares, particularly his victim, so why is it so important?  Roman Polanksi is a rapist and a child molester.  Okay. 

He knows it, we know it, and it’s over.  I think it’s a waste of money for our government to be trying to get this old man back, when there are kids dying overseas for the freedom of this country.  Spend the money to bring our soldiers home, not getting this guy back when the reason he left is because you screwed up.

-  I think that Bethenny Frankel’s fans are a little crazy.  By a little crazy of course I mean whack jobs.  At the pet store this weekend a woman decided she needed to school me on all things Bethenny.  I was told why she is so fabulous, and why I need to stop talking trash about her.

While I thought it was flattering she reads my blog, and though I’m sure under different circumstances she is lovely, this woman was insane.  She came up to me and started screaming that I need to leave Bethenny alone because I don’t even know her.

My first question was to ask if this woman knew her.  She responded that she did not, but still knew her better than I did.  Apparently, if you like Bethenny, then in some reality television parallel universe, you actually know her, and are her friend.

To this lovely lady, whom I assume is reading, I would advise you to not read my blog on Friday morning.  I was nice to Bethenny this week because she got married on her show, but it’s back to reality.  You’re BFF is ridiculous, and I imagine it will be quite clear after Thursday’s show.

I wonder if there are therapists who specialize in treating people who live in this parallel reality television universe.  People who think that just because they watch a show, they know the people, and are therefore friends.  If I were a therapist, this would be my specialty.

-  The Bachelorette is on tonight.  I have not been watching because I think Alli is disgusting, but tonight I’m tuning in, if only for a little while.  I like the guy from Cape Cod and am interested in seeing his family.  I hope Alli dumps him and he gets to be the new Bachelor.

He would be perfect.  He is just a regular guy, who is not gay, or dreaming of being an actor.  He might actually play the game fair and find love in the end.  He has a better shot at finding love than a poser like Jake, or a lying skank like Alli.  I really hope she dumps him.

I know the numbers for this season are big.  I wonder however if they realize it’s not because of her.  I think there are people watching who can’t stand Alli, and turn in each week to see which man is saved from her clutches, and which sucker is stuck with her for longer.

-  I had a JDate date this weekend.  Oh.  My. God.  I tried to write about it but could not manage to tell the story without it sounding made up.  It was probably my most horrible date ever.  In some ways, even worse than the guy that got drunk and puked on my shoes.

I like discussing religion and politics.  I think they are interesting subjects, I am not militant about either one of them, and I like to hear what other people think.  I find lively exchanges about these things to be educational, enlightening and entertaining.

I might have to change my mind however after this last date.  He had strong opinions about the government of both America and Israel.  He was militant, abrasive and rude.  When he actually started yelling at me for not agreeing with him, I thought I might be on a hidden camera show.

I don’t know how it was that his complete and total insanity was not apparent on the phone, but it wasn’t.  He was a nice Jewish guy, who invited me for a drink, and I went, not realizing he was a crazy person.  He needs to be in hospital for evaluation, not on JDate.

It’s been an interesting couple of weeks on JDate. I have met some fascinating people.  A couple of good guys, a couple of freaks, some well meaning men who were just not a match, and some truly phenomenal looking men who were just not that into me.

I’ve discovered that JDate is just like all the other sites in terms of the types of people you find.  Online dating is a crapshoot.  It requires a lot of time and dedication to be able to sort through the booty calls, and get to the men who are actually looking for a relationship.

The difference is that the majority of users are Jewish, and for me that is important.  I am learning to not blame JDate for my bad dates, but rather thank them for showing me what I don’t want, so when I come across my beshert, I will recognize him quickly.

There has got to be a guy out there who will embrace my cats, appreciate that our views on politics may not be the same, will watch The Bachelorette with me even when the season is built around an idiot, and does not think he is friends with Bethenny.

I had an interesting weekend.  I learned a lot about my son, my needs, my limitations, and my hopes.  The things I thought I once needed to be happy are not important anymore, because I am happy without them.  My life is blessed and things will come because I am keeping the faith.

July 9, 2010 | 8:55 am

Jewish Doctor on Big Brother Blows His Chance To Be The Cool Jewish Guy

Posted by Ilana Angel

Big Brother premiered last night on CBS and for the first time in twelve years, one of the contestants is a Modern Orthodox Jew.  Dr. Andrew Gordon is a 39 year podiatrist from Miami.  He is the first contestant that we met and let me just say, I didn’t dig him.

Andrew says he will not allow the show to make him compromise his Judaism. There are so many people who don’t know Jews, or like Jews, and have a stereotyped view of who we are as a people, and what it means to be a practicing Jew.  Maybe this guy can change perceptions.

Andrew has one hour to pack for his trip to the Big Brother house.  He packs a pot because he is kosher.  For a quick second there is the hope that this guy is going to be fabulous, and show Judaism in a wonderful way.  Maybe he will breakdown stereotypes.

That hope is shattered in the first second that he opens his mouth.  He walks into the house and screams “Mazel Tov”.  He is immediately labeled as the freaky religious guy.  He is goofy, and comes across as a little weird.  Such a shame.  We were so close.

Cut to everyone being in the house and they are sitting around and getting to know each other.  One of the chicks says he stood out to her because he was Jewish, and was wearing a “yomkippur” on his head.  She says he is “probably the religious one”.  The cool Jew label is now lost forever.

Andrew tells the group that he was a day trader who lost his job, and has been working as a shoe salesman for the past year.  He says he lied because he did not want people to label him as someone who didn’t need the money because he was a doctor.

Can you stay true to the life of a practicing Jew and blatantly lie? The Torah says: “Thou shall not steal, thou shall not deny falsely, and thou shall not lie one to another” (Leviticus 19: 11).  Mr. Religious Jew talks about how he will not compromise his faith, but in a second is the lying Jew.

I’m not a huge fan of this show, but I will watch for as long as Dr. Gordon is on.  I will watch in amusement and horror, as this man furthers the stereotypes of my people, and takes leaps backwards.  I will watch and cringe as I am reminded each week that I must keep the faith.

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July 8, 2010 | 10:48 pm

Bethenny, Bethenny, Bethenny

Posted by Ilana Angel

Tonight Bravo aired the wedding of Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy.  Regardless of what you think about this woman, her show, her vocabulary, or her motives, today is not the day to talk about it.

I loved the wedding.  I loved Bethenny, Jason, Shawn, Ramona, Alex, Simon, Bob, Carol, and Cookie.  Shawn was a hero, Jason was a mensch, Bethenny was beautiful, and you could feel the happiness.

Next week all deals are off and I will say what needs to be said, but for today, all I got is Mazel Tov to Bethenny and Jason.  It was an honor to share your special day.  I wish you health, happiness and the ability to keep the faith.

 

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July 8, 2010 | 12:04 pm

Why Do I Dislike Ali Fedotowsky As The Bachelorette?

Posted by Ilana Angel

I have stopped writing about this season of The Bachelorette.  Not only have I stopped writing about it, but I’ve stopped watching it too.  I get a lot of inquiries about my Bachelor/Bachelorette recaps, and it’s lovely that people miss them and write to ask me to keep them going.

I get asked every day why I dislike Ali Fedotowsky so much.  It’s no secret that I do not like this girl.  I have called her a liar, a skank, a fake and a celebrity whore, to name just a few things.  It’s interesting to note that when I write about her, a lot of people agree.

I love the Bachelor/Bachelorette series.  I have watched every episode of every season.  I have watched even when it was painful.  When Alex Michel was the Bachelor, and clearly a gay man, I still watched.  When Bryon was the Bachelor with no personality, I watched.

When people made fools out of themselves, I watched.  When hearts were broken, and huge mistakes were made, I watched.  I was loyal.  I sometimes felt frustrated, but I never felt that the show was treating me like an idiot.  It was a social experiment that could work, and I was a believer.

That all changed when the producers decided their audience would fall for anything, and invited Ali to be the Bachelorette.  They assumed that we were some dumb chicks, sitting on the couch, eating bonbons and would not mind that they selected a spoiled, manipulative girl to have a shot at love.

I have met Ali, interviewed her, and in my opinion, I think she is an idiot.  She is vindictive and mean spirited, and has pulled the wool over the eyes of the people who put on a really great show.  She came to the Bachelor with one goal, to be the Bachelorette.

People seem to forget that she cried about her fear of flying on The Bachelor with Jake.  She told him that she never went on family vacations because she was too scared to fly.  She told him it was debilitating, yet she would trust him to take her on a flight.  Really?

We are supposed to believe that a girl who missed out on holiday trips with her family is going to get in a little crop duster with a complete stranger?  The girl who was so scared to fly is now the Bachelorette who is flying around the world?  Come on.

Her crying about leaving Jake to go back to work was pathetic.  The job she simply had to get back to, making her leave the man she loved, only to quit it to then be Bachelorette?  She milked the entire situation and the only thing the entire charade proved was that she is a horrible fake crier.

When she finally, after 20 agonizing minutes, told Jake she needed to go, and collapsed in the hallway of the hotel, so the cameras could watch her fake cry, I wanted to pull all my hair out. She is a horrible actress and I did not buy a single second of it.

Ali hated Vienna and tried to get everyone else to hate her too.  She was jealous and hurtful.  She kept saying if Jake liked a girl like Vienna, then she was not the one for him.  Whatever.  She tried to get him to dump Vienna so she would then be the leader of the pack.

I’m guessing that if he had dumped Vienna, Ali would have bailed anyhow.  Being the girl who was picked by the gay pilot bachelor was never what she wanted.  She had her sites set on being famous, and manipulated the show so she would be selected as the Bachelorette.

I totally get that people go on this show to find fame and fortune.  Good for them.  Anyone who wants to be famous should apply for this show because you will get your 15 minutes, and you may even be able to turn it into something more.  Melissa Rycroft is the perfect example.

She managed to get dumped, by a guy she did not care about, because she was already in love with someone else, a man she coincidentally married right after she was dumped.  She went from just some chick, to America’s sweetheart in about a minute.

She is now co-hosting The Bachelor Pad.  She has no talent, is annoying as hell, yet there she is, a “celebrity”, living out the dream with stars in her eyes.  The only reason she is famous is because Jason dumped her.  Her fame came by accident.

I don’t mind Melissa because she was a contestant, not the star.  Every contestant that comes on this show is looking for fame on some level.  The issue I have with Ali is that she never came on to be a contestant.  She came on Jake’s season with the goal of getting her own season.

Maybe I am the stupid one for thinking this show can work.  I am a hopeless romantic, and as I search for love in my own life, I watch this show and I believe.  More importantly that thinking it can work, I want it to work.  I cheer for these people to find a happily ever after.

I watch because I hope that in a group of 25 people, one of them will be sincere and looking for love.  That gets shattered as the season progresses of course.  We see the lying, cheating and the dishonesty.  It does not matter that it’s all falling apart, because in the end love will be found.

Ali was never on this show looking for love.  She is too busy loving her own reflection to love anyone else.  Her laugh is annoying, her blank stares into space are ridiculous, and her miraculous recovery from a life altering fear of flying is pathetic.

I have asked her quite a few questions over the past year, and she never has a good answer, laughs it off, and quickly moves on to another interviewer who is more interested in kissing her ass, than dragging it out in the open and calling her out for her bad behavior.

Part of the appeal of the Bachelor/Bachelorette shows is that as the season progresses, the ones who are not sincere show their true colors and are eventually called out.  Wes is a good example of that.  With Ali, we knew she was not into it from the beginning, so the hope for love is gone.

I don’t care who Ali picks.  I don’t care if she gets married.  Whatever she decides will undoubtedly be based on what will further her career, not fill her heart.  She has killed the season, and so I’m not watching.  I will watch it next time around with some man she discards as the Bachelor.

I don’t like Ali.  I’m sure there are a lot of reasons why they selected her to be the Bachelorette, and even more reasons why rating are so high. I love this show, and she even though she has ruined it, I will be back next year. Watching, believing, and keeping the faith.

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July 7, 2010 | 9:01 am

Lindsay Lohan Needs A Good Jewish Mother

Posted by Ilana Angel

Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 3 months in jail yesterday.  When she has served her time, she will go to an in-house rehab facility for an additional 3 months.  This is due to a DUI arrest back in 2007.  Not sure why it took so long, but bravo to Judge Marsha Revel for getting it done.

This has been a long time coming if you ask me.  I feel like we’ve been hearing about her and her bad behavior for years, with no consequences.  She’s been getting away with a lot of crap, and it’s time she grew up and was required to do what any non-celebrity would have to do.

I do not know Lindsay Lohan or her family, but I have no problem saying that I think her parents, and particularly her mother Dina, are disgusting. This woman has failed her child in a huge way.  I watched Lindsay grow up in the public eye, and her mother was always a concern.

Dina Lohan, in my opinion, is responsible for her daughter’s problems.  She treats this child like a business, not a girl who needs a mother.  I think her actions, or lack of action, is driven by greed.  Lindsay Lohan made her mother famous, and that fame, made her mother incompetent.

Lindsay needs to spend some time with a good Jewish mother.  She needs some good food,  good advice, a healthy dose of guilt, and love.  She needs someone to care about her because she is a human being, not because she gives them money.  She needs a mom, not a manager.

Lindsay is a good actress so it’s hard to tell if her tears in court yesterday were real or fake.  I think she was shocked that her good fortune finally ran out, but the tears seemed more angry than sad to me.  This girl is a mess, but not hopeless.  Her sentence is just what she needs to get it together.

My advice to Lindsay would be to do what the court has ordered, and cut off ties with her mother.  Let Dina earn a place in her life, don’t give her one just because she is her mother.  She may have given birth to her, but it would appear she stopped behaving like a mother long ago.

Lindsay Lohan is only 24.  If she is able to stay away from her mom, take it seriously, and view this turn of events as a blessing in disguise, I think she can have a comeback, and live a sober and healthy life.  Is she smart enough to figure it out?  I’m keeping the faith.

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July 6, 2010 | 1:44 am

Jake, Vienna, Alli and JDate:  Which One Is Not Full of Crap?

Posted by Ilana Angel

I am fascinated by the phenomenon that is The Bachelor/Bachelorette television franchise.  I watch it, I love it, I blog about it, and I still think, after ten years, that it can work.  Not since Trista and Ryan has it had a happy ending, so I’m not sure why I get sucked in season after season.

Jake was the last Bachelor, although I never understood why he was selected.  He is certainly attractive, but he is white toast.  A plain piece of white toast that is clearly not in touch with his sexuality, or his sexual orientation.  I have met Jake, and can honestly say he is boring.

I think Jake went on this show for the sole purpose of getting famous.  He wants to be an actor, who lives in the closet, and he figured this was an easy way.  I feel a little taken advantage of.  I invested my time and romantic heart in his season, only be disappointed in the end.

Jake is not an idiot.  He picked the one girl he thought we all hated, so when he dumped her because his secret boyfriend was getting jealous, we would not care because we hated her.  The problem with his plan is that the audience is not stupid.  Verdict:  Jake is full of crap.

Vienna is the girl that Jake selected and asked to marry him at the end of last season.  I have met Vienna and I think she is a small town girl, who was spoiled by her daddy, and had dreams of changing her life.  She came on the show to escape her reality, and build a new one.

I think that Vienna loved Jake.  I honestly believe her when she says Jake was not into it, and more focused on getting famous, than making their relationship work.  She is just not smart enough to orchestrate such drama.  In the break up interview with Jake, she came out a winner.

Vienna will be fine.  She’ll pose naked, spend time on a pole, then go back to Florida, marry some guy from the swamp that has no television, have a few babies, and watch old DVD’s of her 15 minutes of fame.  She meant well, she wanted to be happy, but in the end, was full of crap.

Alli bailed on Jake and left her chance at love with him to go back to work.  I have met Alli and I can say, without any hesitation, she is a skanky bitch.  I think she is a liar and a fame whore.  She came on the season with Jake, with only one plan, getting to be the Bachelorette.

She lied her way though the season with Jake, and was horrible to Vienna.  Some people think she is America’s Sweetheart.  Really?  If sweetheart means lying skanky whore, then yes, Alli is in fact, America’s Sweetheart.  Perhaps the biggest Sweetheart we have ever known.

I am not watching her season because why would I waste my time watching this woman search for love, when she is so in love with herself, she cannot possibly fall in love with anyone else?  I think Alli is an embarrassment to this show, and to herself.  Is Alli full of crap?  You betcha.

If these people can’t find love, when all the work is done for them, how do normal people find it? I am a hopeless romantic, but even my belief system is tested by this show.  It started out like watching a fairytale, but in the end, perhaps the Bachelor/Bachelorette series is full of crap.

I am searching for love through the online dating service JDate.  This was my first weekend, and it was interesting.  The men I thought were fabulous and wrote to, were not interested in me.  The men who wrote me, were interesting, and by interesting, of course I mean writing me from prison.

I was contacted by men in their 20’s, never going to happen, 30’s, looking to experience a cougar, 40’s, who want to know my favorite sexual position, 50’s, who want to recapture their youth and have a baby, and 60’s, where it might not be working at all anymore.

JDate is not promising that I will find love.  They are not telling me that if I spend $40 a month, I will get married.  All they are doing, is providing me with place to start.  They are saying it’s up to me, and if I try, it can happen.  I suppose that’s all any of us need to get the ball rolling.

In turns out that Jake, Vienna, and Alli are all full of crap.  Additionally, 90% of the men on JDate are full of crap.  JDate is a service that is providing me with exactly what they said they would.  A group of Jewish men, one of which, may be my beshert.

At end of the day, men lie and are full of crap, while women are mean and bitchy.  Is JDate full of crap?  No.  You can hate the player, but not the game.  JDate is the game, and statistically, they do a better job than the Bachelor TV show.  I need to trust them, trust myself, and keep the faith.

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July 5, 2010 | 11:22 am

Vienna and Jake Crash, While Boston Med Soars

Posted by Ilana Angel

Reality television has received a crushing blow with the announcement that Vienna and Jake have broken up.  By broken up of course I mean the mud slinging he said – she said battle has begun.  Listening to them talk smack about each other is more entertaining than their season of The Bachelor. 

Many of my regular readers wrote to ask why I have not written about this reality television nugget of gold.  Well, I felt I needed more evidence to be able to have a clear opinion on what is a sad and unexpected turn of events.  By sad and unexpected, of course I mean The Bachelor curse continues.

Let me begin by saying that I have seen pieces of the interview that Chris Harrison does with Jake and Vienna which airs on The Bachelorette tonight, and I have read the print interviews that both have given.  For me, the one thing that is clear,  is that Jake is gay.

I called this early on in his season and feel that Jake admitting it, is the only thing that is now not out in the open.  In my blogs about Jake’s time as The Bachelor, in the beginning I was certain Vienna was a tranny, and Ali was my top pick.  Go figure.  It turns out Vienna is a chick, and Ali is a bitch.

I have met both Vienna and Jake and they are lovely people.  Jake is charming and handsome, while Vienna is prettier in person than she is on television.  Jake actually gushed about Vienna in the way that all women want their fiancé’s to gush.  The problem is that it was all fake.

In retrospect, I think Jake picked Vienna on purpose, so when he got his career going, it would be easy to dump her because a) he is gay, and b) no one liked her.  He figured we would side with him and think he was a saint, and she was a skank.  Sorry Jake, that plan is not really working.

If you look back at Vienna on The Bachelor, she was not the prettiest, smartest, funniest, nicest or sexiest woman there.  She was the most controversial.  Jake is a gay man trying to recapture the dreams of his childhood to be an actor, and he played the show like a fiddle.

He picked the one girl he could stomach having sex with, because in the end he would dump her, and everyone would think it’s because she’s horrible.  The question isn’t did he ever love her, but how hard was it for him to sleep with her?  Did he imagine Chris Harrison’s face when they kissed.

As for my favorite tranny Vienna, I believe her.  She totally had her eyes set on being famous herself, and used the show as a stepping stone to what she wanted, but even with that said, the heartache part of her experience is authentic.  Her gay boyfriend totally broke her heart.

It may be a while before these two fade away.  Jake will try to be an actor, Vienna will pose for Hustler, he will come out to Barbara Walters and she will announce she has had his baby and wants a paternity test.  Reality television as it’s best, and by best I mean worse.

If you are a reality television fan, this is a disappointing end.  We knew it wouldn’t last, but we thought maybe there was a chance it could end nicely, with her sitting in the front row of his wedding to Neil Patrick Harris on a perfect summer day in Connecticut.

The crushing blow of yet another Bachelor/Bachelorette crash and burn, is made a little easier to take with the arrival of Boston Med.  Airing on ABC, Thursday nights at 10:00 pm, this is an 8 week documentary series from ABC News.  It is riveting, compelling, brutal and reality gold.

Boston Med follows real doctors, nurses and patients around three hospitals in Boston.  The first two episodes have aired and are amazing.  It’s like watching Grey’s Anatomy, ER, House and every other medical drama, only it’s real.  After two weeks I am invested in these people.

The sound track is phenomenal, and the stories are gripping.  It has made me respect the medical field in a way that I did not before.  People who go into medicine are heroes.  What would become of the world if people just stopped wanting to have this career?  I could never do what they do.

Everyone should watch this show.  Forget your opinions regarding health care reform, and watch what these people do every day.  For a resident to study medicine for twelve years, and still not know if she will be good enough to be a doctor, is amazing.  This show is real life.

From the police officer who is brought in with gun shots from a robbery, to the patients waiting for organs for a transplant after another families loss, to the unborn child who will need to have heart surgery while we pray his dad will make it home in time from Iraq, this show is perfection.

The Bachelor and Boston Med are the highs and lows of reality television. One is fluff and escapism, while the other is nuts and bolts.  Each one is fascinating, and necessary.  Bravo to ABC which coincidentally is the network that brings us both of these worlds.

Maybe if Vienna and Jake would watch Boston Med, they would see they’re not that important, should go home, and move on.  I will watch the interview in its entirety tonight, but am sure my opinion will be the same.  Jake is gay, Vienna is heartbroken, and both need to keep the faith.

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July 4, 2010 | 8:31 am

Happy 4th of July

Posted by Ilana Angel

Happy 4th of July.
Enjoy your day.
Be safe.
Remember the troops.
Give thanks.
Express gratitude.
Say a prayer.
God Bless America.
Keep The Faith.

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