July 31, 2010 | 8:37 pm

Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky Tie A Jew “Ish” Knot

Posted by Ilana Angel

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I am very happy for Chelsea and her new husband Marc.  I am a supporter of her parents, and I imagine they are beyond happy to celebrate the marriage of their only child.  When you are blessed with only one child, it makes it easy to spoil them, because it’s all about them.  The wedding is the only one they will throw, so good for them that they were able to give her a fairytale come true. 

I must say, there is a tiny part of me that thinks it’s sad when a Jewish man marries a non-Jewish woman.  Their children will be loved and blessed to be born into such a wonderful family, but at the end of the day, they will not be Jewish, and that is unfortunate.  With each inter-faith marriage, and each generation, there are fewer Jews.

I think it’s a little odd to wear a tallit and kippah, sign a ketubah, and recite the 7 blessings, when you are marrying a person who is not Jewish.  Why bother?  If he can have his children not be Jewish, does it not seem like a bit of a farce that he would have such important Jewish traditions in his wedding?

I also find it interesting that in the group of released pictures, they included some of the couple with the ketubah, under the huppah, and him in his tallit.  Why the need to publicize the Jewish aspects of the wedding?  It’s lovely, and she looks beautiful, but she did not convert, so why push all the Jew “ish” stuff?

To be clear, while an inter-faith marriage is not ideal for me, it does not mean I don’t think it can work.  It’s worked in my own family, and some of my dearest Jewish friends are married to people of other faiths.  If both are willing to support the beliefs of the other, then it works, and that goes beyond religion.

My friends feel it’s important for me to be with a man of faith, and that what the faith is, does not matter.  As long as he believes in a higher power, we will be able to connect and build a life together.  They may be right, and it could happen, but if it’s up to me, and I get to choose, he will be a Jew.  That is my dream.

It is hard to meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life with.  If you are blessed to meet that person, faith and race should not matter.  I am searching for love, and the older I get, the more I realize he may not be in the packaging I expect, or desire for myself.  I can hope he is Jewish, but he may not be.

Love is elusive, and if you find someone you love, and he is not the same religion, or color as you are, just close your eyes and listen.  If you are quiet, and pay attention, your heart will lead you.  Don’t shut yourself off to love because of what you think you want.  Love who you love, and remember to keep the faith.

 

July 30, 2010 | 8:22 am

Bethenny Frankel Blows Her Shot At Redemption

Posted by Ilana Angel

I write a very honest look at this show.  I do not get sucked in to all the silliness of thinking that this woman is somehow my friend, just because I’ve seen her pee.  I watch her on television because in the beginning, she was a breathe of fresh air, and very entertaining.

Each week, as we watch Bethenny’s dreams come true, I am hopeful she will return to being the person she was.  The girl who made us fall in love with her by simply being herself.  She was bold, honest, funny, and vulnerable.  We were routing for her to succeed in business and love.

You’ve got to give it her for trying.  She had a difficult childhood, and although the reality of her upbringing is questioned by many, and may not be as bad as she would like us to believe, it was difficult for her.  Her memories are her own, and for her it was horrible, so let’s give her that.

I have a reputation of not liking Bethenny, and that is simply not the case.  My opinion of her has nothing to do with whether I like her or not.  I don’t know her.  What I know, is that with each episode, my opinion is not gauged by how much I like her, but by how much I believe her.

This week was all about bringing her baby home.  Within the first five minutes it became clear that while I may like her, I don’t trust her.  That feeling of distrust translates into her being a hot mess of insincerity.  She managed to make an episode I was looking forward to, rather unappealing.

She’s in the hospital, just having had the baby, and her in-laws, who drove immediately to be with her and see their first grandchild, arrive.  They walk in the room, and before they even turn the corner, she is telling them to be careful because she has stitches.  Seriously bitchy I think.

Before she makes her big announcement about having a girl and calling her Bryn, after the son they lost, she is telling them to close the door.  Really?  You have a camera crew in your hospital room, but you need to shut the door for privacy?  Bethenny seems to think she is Lady Diana.

She announces the baby like it’s all for television, and not for these people who have dreamed of this day for longer than she did.  Then that’s it.  We never see Jason’s parents again.  She won.  She chose the baby nurse over the grandparents, and that speaks volumes about Bethenny.

She talks about how traumatized she is by her childhood, and lack of love from her mother, yet, when given the opportunity to have Jason’s mom there, loving her and the baby, she opts to have a baby nurse.  Bethenny is a diva, and the whoring of Bryn Hoppy has begun.

This could have been Bethenny’s moment of redemption.  All her lies, mean spirited comments, exaggerations, and missteps, would have been forgiven is she had embraced Jason’s parents, and had them for a week, and then the baby nurse.  She was so close, and in the end, she blew it.

They walk out of the hospital and you see a flash of disappointment as Bethenny realizes there are no paparazzi.  It’s a sad moment, and I found myself feeling sad for her.  I wish she had thought it out better and had Carol with her for a couple of weeks.  It would have healed her.

On the ride home, Jason realizes of how hard it was for his parents to lose a child.  When you have your own children, you see your parents differently, and it was touching.  It would have been the perfect time for Bethenny to say his parents could stay and help with the baby.

Bethenny is obsessed with the baby nurse.  She talks about how the woman is family, and she should treat the home like it’s her own, yet she has never called her by her name, only “Baby Nurse”.  Her name is Gina.  It’s moments like this that make Bethenny gross, which is a shame.

The stamping of footprints is charming.  They are cute and when we see them as new parents, it’s a flashback to Bethenny from the beginning of RHONYC.  Bethenny is neurotic, and it’s as if she forgot about the cameras, and was real. She was fabulous during this scene.

As quickly as I found myself loving her, it was gone.  Shawn came over to work on the baby shower and Bethenny, the fame monger, was back in full swing.  She is abrasive, and controlling, and it’s not cute.  In the end you can’t trust her.  Is she being real, or working it for the camera?

We then waste 5 minutes watching Max get a number from a woman who clearly has no interest in going out with him.  Whatever.  We are then in therapy, and Bethenny makes sure to let us know parenthood is scarier for her than for Jason.  Dear Lord.  Is she kidding right now?

We then get to watch her go through a night of breastfeeding, then watch her complain about how busy she is.  Bethenny seems to think that she is the first woman to ever have a baby.  We are also reminded, that the thing Bethenny cares about most, is Bethenny.

She complains to Julie that Jason has friends coming to see the abby.  God forbid a new father, whose parents were banished, would want to share his baby with his friends.  I just don’t get it.  Does she not see how the things she says could be perceived as ugly and selfish?

We are out shopping now with Max, Bethenny and Robert Verdi, the stylist.  Robert is an ass, Max is useless, and that Bethenny is unable to go buy a dress without a stylist, shows us exactly what we are dealing with.  Bethenny has become all the things she says she hated about Jill.

At the end of the day, Bethenny Frankel started out as my favorite housewife, and her husband started out as Prince Charming.  Try as I may to get on board the Bethenny love train, it’s hard.  I’ve tried, really hard, but it’s not happening.  With only one episode left, I’m not sure it will.

Bethenny got married to a wonderful guy and had a baby, which is what she wanted.  She got her own show, and the career success she dreamed of.  If she can relax and work on going back to being real, she will have it all.  I’m not convinced she can do it, but I’m keeping the faith.

 

 

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July 28, 2010 | 1:23 am

Israel Makes a Mockery of Rape and Supports a Hate Crime

Posted by Ilana Angel

This week in Israel, a Jerusalem District Court made a mockery of the word rape.  They sided with a woman who acted like a slut, rather than a man whose only crime was being a lying, cheating, pig.

A single Israeli, Jewish woman, met a man who she believed was single and Jewish.  Important to note that he never told her he was Jewish, nor did he mention specifically that he was married.  She approached him in a shop, hit on him, then left with him, and they had sex on the roof of a building within minutes of their meeting.

The man at the center of the firestorm is Saber Kushour.  He is a married father of two children, who lives in Eastern Jerusalem, and he was just found guilty of “rape by deception”, and sentenced to 18 months in prison.  He has been under house arrest for two years waiting for this trial, and now his life is ruined, and young children will lose access to their dad, because a woman was embarrassed by her behavior, and angry that a man slept with her, and then never called.

Let’s be very clear, Mr. Kushour was not convicted because he is a rapist.  He was convicted because he is a Palestinian.  He cheated on his wife and he is a scum bag, but he is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a rapist.  On a personal note, my family has been deeply affected by rape, and what this woman did, is make a mockery of the pain and suffering of every woman who has been brutalized by rape.  She is wrong, and should be ashamed of herself.

She says the sex was consensual, but he deceived her.  News flash: rape is never consensual.  Rape is an act of violence, not deception.  How dare she call her experience rape.  It is hurtful to those who have been raped.  If every married man who cheated, and did not tell the women he was cheating with that he was married before he slept with her, were convicted of rape, there would need to be more prisons than bars.  If I spent 20 minutes with this woman, I can guarantee she would change her view of the situation.

Judge Zvi Segal wrote in her guilty verdict: “If she hadn’t thought the accused was a Jewish bachelor interested in a serious romantic relationship, she would not have cooperated.”  She goes on to say: “It is incumbent on the court to protect the public interest from sophisticated, sweet-talking offenders who mislead naive victims into paying an unbearable price: sanctity of their bodies and souls.”  With all due respect to Ms. Segal, you are wrong.  What you have done is punish a man for being an Arab, and it is a human rights violation.

This was never about rape, but rather hate.  As human beings, we must do the right thing and rally to support this man being set free.  Rape is horrific.  It can break a spirit, and leaves an imprint of the heart of a rape victim and their family.  This was not rape and I am publicly offering my support to Mr. Kushour.  As he continues to live under house arrest pending his appeal, I am, on behalf of his children, keeping the faith.

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July 28, 2010 | 12:39 am

Cast of Jersey Shore Ringing Bell at NYSE is a Sign of the Apocalypse

Posted by Ilana Angel

Fist pumping ruled on Tuesday morning when the cast of Jersey Shore rang the opening bell of the New York Stock Exchange.  How is it possible that Snooki’s participation made it one of the most crowded days in years on the floor?  It’s a clear sign that the end of the world is fast approaching.

The “kids” were basking in the glow of their tanned bodies, and the glory of the experience.  These people have managed parlay their 15 minutes into big bucks, with no real end in sight.  The show’s second season is premiering on Thursday, so the train wreck is heading towards the station.

I will be watching Jersey Shore on Thursday night.  Important to note that I have absolutely no idea why.  There is no explanation why I would watch, and even more disturbing, is that I will enjoy it. Just as one cannot eat one potato chip, one cannot watch only one season of Jersey Shore.  Can I be cured of my sickening desire to watch?  I’m keeping the faith.

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July 25, 2010 | 1:43 am

Team Bethenny Frankel vs. Team Jill Zarin

Posted by Ilana Angel

I like to write about the Bravo reality TV series The Real Housewives.  I write about it because I love it.  Like millions of Americans, I’m hooked on the phenomenon, and find myself caring about these women and enjoy my front row seat to their lives.

The show has changed from a guilty pleasure, into a show that is increasingly uncomfortable to watch.  Fame has changed all the women from how they were when we met them, into people who are out of control, and unable to handle fame.

The women who have lost and gained the most are Jill Zarin and Bethenny Frankel of the New York City show.  These women have changed the most, and in the process, lost a friendship, lost credibility, and divided fans into two different camps.

Let me clarify at this point that I am not Jill Zarin.  I am also not Bethenny Frankel.  When I write something negative about Bethenny, her fans assume I’m Jill, and come after me.  If I say something derogatory about Jill, her fans accuse me of being Bethenny writing undercover.

I’m just a fan, who has watched these two women fall apart, and walk away from a friendship that was once a pleasure to watch.  I’m not on anyone’s side, and I have been vocal in both my support and criticism, towards both of these ladies.  I think what has happened to them is a shame.

Jill Zarin got too big for her britches and bought into her own fame.  She was this great Jewish lady who was funny and open.  She was over the top in terms of how she spent her money, parented her kid, and loved her husband.  She was classic New York, and compelling to watch.

Bethenny was charming when we met her.  She was uncensored, honest and real.  She saw the life she wanted in Jill, and we all wanted it for her.  She was working on her career, dealing with the demons of her childhood, and trying to get to a place where she could have it all.

After a couple seasons it all fell apart. Jill and Bethenny started to fight, and through a series of unfortunate miscommunications, based on assumptions, their friendship ended, and we all got to see it happen.  It was sad, and I found myself really hoping they would be ok and together.

My issue with Jill is that she started the last season thinking she was the star of the show.  She let her ego get the best of her.  She was obnoxious and rude.  She disrespected the other ladies and proved to be selfish, unkind, and mean.  She became a complete and total Diva.

My issue with Bethenny, is that she forgot where she came from, and began to act like she was entitled.  She found love, and in the process became all the things she hated about the other women.  She began to think she was a celebrity, not just a girl who made it big on reality TV.

Jill told so many lies, and was so mean to everyone, that when it all crumbled around her, she refused to take any responsibility for her actions.  Meanwhile, Bethenny accused Jill of being a celebrity whore, which is what she became herself.  They became the same, but could not see it.

I lost respect for Jill because she lied, knew she lied, knew we knew she lied, and then denied that she lied.  With Bethenny, she went from being the authentic one, to the one who was fake.  She ended her friendship with Jill and then became all the things she said she hated about Jill.

At the end of the day, these two women have divided their fans into two camps, and for that they should be ashamed of themselves.  We loved the show, loved them, and supported them making up and moving on.  They took our support of them, and treated it like it meant nothing.

I have said things about Bethenny that have inspired people to call me a dirty Jew.  I have said things about Jill that have inspired people to tell me that I am not a good Jew.  My blog is loved when people agree with me, and trashed when they don’t.  Fans of these women are serious.

It’s just a television show, and while I completely understand how we are all invested and care about them, we cannot turn on each other.  We are just Bravo fans and the war between the Jill and Bethenny should stay between the two of them, and not bleed out into the real world.

I don’t imagine Jill and Bethenny will ever be friends again, as there is too much water under the bridge for them to repair what was broken.  As for them respecting the fans enough to stop with their pettiness and move on, I’m not holding my breath, but I’m keeping the faith.

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July 23, 2010 | 7:44 am

Bethenny Frankel Talks Trash & Has A Baby

Posted by Ilana Angel

Just before watching the latest installment of Bethenny Getting Married, I read an interview Bethenny did with E! where she says she did not understand why Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson would do a reality show.  She said she didn’t know who they were, and just didn’t get the appeal.

Really?  Have you forgotten we didn’t know who you were when you started on reality television? There was no reason for us to care about you and watch your show. You are slamming Bristol and Levi for shopping a reality show, but you are the reality television whoring queen.

Bethenny Frankel started out on the Housewives as fabulous.  She was funny, smart, quick witted and entertaining.  She was not a housewife, but she was comic relief, and as an example of someone who wanted to be a housewife, but had not yet been lucky at love.

What she has become is crass, rude, obnoxious, ego driven, hot mess.  That she has the balls to call out a couple of kids for selling their souls to the devil to make money for themselves and their kid, when she continually sells everything, is totally hypocritical.

Bethenny has decided she is a celebrity.  She separated herself from being a reality tv personality, and labeled herself a star.  She had potential to be a person we cared about, and instead she is a train wreck.

Her show this week starts with her at a class learning about how to take care of a baby.  She tries so hard to be funny, that sometimes it just falls flat.  She does not take any of it seriously and is focused on being funny, which would be entertaining if she were in fact being funny.

Her “friend” Lauren comes over with her new baby and it’s hilarious.  This chick has a baby nurse who she actually has burping her baby during the visit.  Bethenny blasts the ladies at the child class for being Stepford, but she is having a baby nurse so she can sleep.  Bethenny is gross.

Bethenny is setting up the baby’s room with the help of her assistants and it’s sad.  The only people who are around her on a regular basis are those she pays to be there.  She appears to have a lonely life with no authentic relationships.  Everything is faked for television on this show.

She is giving dating advice to her assistant Max, and one wonders why he would take advice from a woman who has a horrible track record with love, has been married for five minutes, and got married because she was knocked up.  Maybe she’s not the best person to listen to.

Bethenny’s water breaks, and she decides it’s the perfect time to be a bitch, rude to her husband, and attempt to suck the joy out of the moment for Jason.  Bethenny tells Jason to call Julie, and then a minute later Julie walks in ready to go.  This show is beyond fake.

I think it’s sad that an assistant is called to help at a time like this and not a friend.  Bethenny has no friends.  What she has is people who are paid to be with her, and that is sad.  I have tried so hard to get on board with Bethenny because I want so much to like her, but it’s not happening.

Her show now feels cheap.  That her going into labor is so carefully orchestrated to look like it’s spontaneous is pathetic.  We can buy into her reality and go along with the ride, but when you assume we are stupid, it’s over.  Bethenny is the queen of unauthentic reality television.

In the car on the way to the hospital, Bethenny is in full bitch mode.  She does not want Jason’s parents to stay at their house because she wants her baby nurse.  She doesn’t want his parents to tell anyone she’s in labor, because they will alert the media to come to the hospital.

Who the hell are you Bethenny Frankel?  How is it possible that when you left for the hospital, Julie was at the apartment to take care of Cookie, did not travel with you, yet you got to the hospital after she did?  Seriously the fakeness of this show is out of control.

If you are in labor, at the hospital with your husband, do you want to be talking about sex with your assistant?  It would be funny if it weren’t so awkward, orchestrated and ridiculous.  Max is out buying her granny panties and the show jumps in the realm of Jerry Springer.

To properly explain how gross this show has become, they are showing them with the title “home video”, yet a Bravo crew member is shooting the “home video”.  Jason started out as the normal one that didn’t want a reality TV life, yet he is now just like her, whoring out every second.

They are talking about her labor but not with a doctor, a crew member.  Sad.  Max and Julie are setting up the basinet, but they are wearing different clothes, and it’s clearly shot on a different day and edited to look that it’s happening while they are at the hospital.  We’re not stupid Bravo.

The baby nurse is at the house giving all the information to Julie, and again Julie is in another outfit with different hair.  The whole thing is fake.  They had all this crap done, yet it is edited for us to think it’s all happening in a panic.  Julie did not change her hair and outfit 4 times in one day.

We now watch what seems like 20 minutes worth of 20 hours of labor.  How great for Bravo that they gave Bethenny a show so we could see the first woman in the world go thorough labor and have a baby.  She gets her epidural and does her standard 20 minutes of stand up.

Bryn Hoppy is born, five weeks early, very tiny, but perfect and beautiful.  She will be a very loved little girl, and I wish her health and happiness always.  Maybe she is the gift that will relax her mother enough to enjoy her life so she can be truly happy, and deflate her ego a little bit.

There is undoubtedly a ton of hate mail being written to me right now.  People will attack me for attacking their beloved Bethenny.  It’s all good so bring it on.  I welcome your hate filled letters, and as for them being posted on my blog?  That might not happen so just keep the faith.

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July 22, 2010 | 7:56 am

Reconnecting Through Facebook

Posted by Ilana Angel

I’m heading to Disneyland today to meet a childhood friend.  We grew up together in Langley, British Columbia, and have not seen each other in about 28 years.  I think I was 17 when I last saw her.  We were just kids, and now we are mothers, reuniting with our own kids in tow, and it’s amazing.

We reconnected on Facebook which you’ve got to love.  I mean I don’t love everything about Facebook, but that it has the ability to reconnect people is amazing.  That people I don’t remember want to be friends is weird, and I’m addicted to Farmville, but other than that, Facebook is cool.

We were part of a tight group of girls, and it was a wonderful place to grow up.  I remember how much I loved my group of girlfriends, and how I thought for sure we would all get married to guys who were friends, live in the same neighborhood, have kids at the same time, and grow old together. 

Here we are now, almost 30 years later, spending the day together.  I’ve never met her kids, or her mine.  I’m going to meet her husband for the first time, and I’m curious about how it will be to see her.  She looks exactly the same as she did when we were kids, which is a little annoying.

After 30 years what do you say?  What’s new? How have you been?  Even after all this time, I know we will have a million things to talk about, and slide right back into being kids and our friendship.  As kids she loved Rick Springfield and I loved Adam Ant.  Clearly she was more sophisticated than me even back then.

So I’m off to see my friend, thankful for Facebook, and excited for her to meet my son.  At 14, he is the same age now, that we were when we were the best of friends.  I remember how important my friends were to me, and so it gives me a little perspective in terms of my son and his friends.

The only thing missing from our day will be the rest of the girls.  We will remember them in spirit, tell all the old stories, and catch up on a time when we were happy and life was easy.  It’s so funny that all our teenage angst made it impossible to understand how happy we really were. 

I am older now than my mother was at the time I last saw my friend. I remember thinking my mom was old so in comparison, my kid must think I’m ancient.  I look forward to hugging my friend.  Life goes by quickly so we must remember to reconnect with the past, and keep the faith.

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July 21, 2010 | 9:11 am

Motherhood, Dating, Sex, Porn, Television, Love & Faith – A Year in Review

Posted by Ilana Angel

It is hard to believe that a year ago this week, I posted my first blog for The Jewish Journal of Great Los Angeles.  A lot has happened in my life, and in the world, over the past year. I have talked openly about motherhood, dating, sex, porn, television, love, loss, joy, aging, being Jewish and faith.

I’ve been called funny, boring, smart, stupid, entertaining, annoying, interesting, indecisive, pretty, ugly, kind, mean, an angel and Hitler, to name just a few.  I’ve had days where I was thrilled to have 100 people read my blog, and others where I was surprised to have 100000 readers.

I have grown as a mother, daughter, sister, friend and woman.  I’ve gone on a search for love, and in the process learned to love myself.  I’ve received letters from around the world including Rabbi’s, preachers, single mothers, kids, Nazis, politicians, shut ins, servicemen and porn stars.

It’s the one year anniversary of my relationship with the Jewish Journal.  They have allowed me the freedom to speak my mind, in my own words, without censorship.  There have been a couple of bumps along the way, where they thought I pushed it to the limits, but they never silenced my voice.

The blog has gotten me a few dates, and cost me even more.  I became a sweetheart of conservatives with my blogs on Sarah Palin, and hated by many by stating that I hoped my son would marry a woman who was Jewish, and then called racist for only dating Jewish men. 

I’ve had reality television bloggers and their mob of haters pounce on my opinion, had a Baptist Minister’s wife write to tell me we that while our faith is different, we share a heart and are raising our sons the same way, and had a Neo-Nazi leader write to tell me to stick to my faith.

I met Sarah Palin and allowed myself to see her as a mom, not a politician.  I met Wendy Williams and chatted about reality television.  I had several Bravo housewives say they appreciate my honest voice, and I’ve had a woman undergoing chemotherapy write to say I made her laugh.

I’ve met new friends who have restored my belief that people are inherently good, and let go of friendships that proved to be toxic.  I embraced my faith, listened to the teachings of my Rabbi, was lead back to God and taught to live my life with gratitude, and let go of sorrow.

I discovered that really great people can become addicted to drugs, and through their sobriety, are able to be their true beautiful selves. I learned that for others, just because they conquer their addictions and are able to live a sober life, it does not make them good people, just sober.

I’ve gone out with men who were married and said they were single, were 5”4 but convinced they were 5’10”, were not Jewish but said they were.  I shared stories of dates where the men made waitresses cry, threw up on my shoes, and did not have the strength to admit they were gay.

I learned to let my son spread his wings and have more independence.  I’ve embraced living with a teenager.  I’ve watched my son make new friends, grow away from old ones, and transition from a little kid, into a man that I am proud of, and love more than I ever imagined I could.

I’ve had a good year.  I love my son, friends, family and work.  I am striving to keep moving forward.  I’ve found peace, which will allow me to find love.  The great lesson learned this year is that no matter how high or low my day is, life is infinitely better when I am Keeping The Faith.

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