June 30, 2010 | 9:01 am

A Baby Grows Up and A Mother Stops Sleeping – The Teenage Years

Posted by Ilana Angel

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This summer, in only a few weeks actually, I am going to do something for the first time.  I am going to let my child, my wonderful baby, and the one great love of my life, fly across the country by himself.  To say I am nervous and anxious is an understatement.

I know he is closer to 15 than 14, I know he is responsible, I know he is 5’ 9”, I know he can take care of himself, I know I trust him, I know he will be fine, I know I have nothing to worry about, and I know I have not slept since the ticket was purchased.

Kids travel alone all the time.  It’s not that big a deal, but when your kid does it for the first time, it’s stressful.  He insists that he not travel as an unaccompanied minor, and will be fine on his own.  I can walk him to his gate, he will be met at his gate when he arrives.

The issue is that he has a connection, and will need to get from one flight to the other, all on his own.  It’s not like he will be in a foreign land, and unable to speak the language.  He can read, is smart, and he will be fine.  It’s all me, not him.  I am having a hard time with it.

I can remember when he walked for the first time.  I would follow him around so incase he took a tumble, I would be close enough to catch him.  He would wobble, I would grab him before he fell, and he would look at me with such love and trust for being there, before he hurt himself.

I remember when he started school, and he wanted to walk in on his own.  I would drop him off, and then park my car and watch him walk in.  He would wave all the way to the very last moment, knowing I was watching, and wanting to make is easier for me.

I remember the first time he went to the movies with his friends, with no parent along to chaperone.  He was so excited to be independent, yet he slipped away from his friends to call and let me know he was safely in the theater, and I did not need to worry. 

I know when he goes off to college, I will look back at the first time he flew alone, and wonder how I survived.  I’m waiting for it to get easier, but it doesn’t.  Will there ever be a time, no matter how old he gets, that I will not worry, and want to do everything for him?

When our kids are babies, we can’t wait for them to walk, then wish they would stay still.  We can’t wait for them to talk, then pray they will be quiet.  We can’t wait for them to drive, so they can run to the market, then wish they never got behind the wheel.

I love each milestone that my son reaches as he grows up.  I love him more today, than I did yesterday, and I will love him more tomorrow. than I do today.  Not only do I love him, but I really like him.  He is a truly remarkable human being.

He has changed my worldview, made me a better person, and is going to impact the world in a profound way.  Whether he is a garbage collector, a teacher, an actor or the President of the United States of America, he will make a difference.

I love him, and am so proud to be his mom.  I am excited that he is getting to spend a couple of weeks away, with his best friend and his family.  I know my son, and he knows me, so I won’t need to worry because he will be in touch.  More often than needed, but the right amount for me.

I look forward to this new stage of his life.  I am excited by each new step he takes, and discover he makes.  I will support him in all the ways possible.  As the high school years begin, and he takes leaps forward,  I’ll be right here, kvelling, and keeping the faith.

June 29, 2010 | 9:34 am

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Dive Into The Gutter

Posted by Ilana Angel

I’m not sure how it happened, or why, but Bravo has decided to let this show slide into the gutter.  These women are manipulating their “reality”, clearly orchestrating drama, and shame on Bravo for not giving its loyal audience a little credit, and reeling these chicks in.

We start off with Caroline having lunch with two of her sisters.  Caroline is the only one on this show that I find interesting anymore.  I like her, think she is adorable, and I’m tempted to not watch anymore because if she goes to the dark side like the others, I will be disappointed.

Caroline is talking about Albie and his issues with school.  When Caroline cries, she looks beautiful. It’s a gift to look pretty while crying, and she has the gift.  It’s a transitional point in her life as her kids get older and move on to adulthood.  She is struggling with it all, and it’s compelling to watch.

Kim D. is out for lunch with Teresa and Jacqueline.  Sidebar:  Is it just me. or does anyone else think that if you have a drink, squint your eyes, and tilt your head to the left, Kim D. looks a little like Barbra Streisand?  Why doesn’t anyone like her enough to tell her how ridiculous her hair looks?

Teresa has changed from cute chick, to manipulative drama queen.  She is on a mission to destroy Danielle, which is a waste because Danielle is brilliant at digging her own grave.  Jacqueline has grown a set of balls over the last few weeks, but the problem is she doesn’t know what to do with them.

Danielle is heading over to Kim D’s store to see why her friend would invite her enemies to her fashion show.  She walks in and is not happy with the woman at the front desk.  This is where the show starts to unravel and become something that is difficult to watch, care about or take seriously.

Danielle is pissed off, telling her 12 year old daughter on the phone all about it, and the store clerk wants us to believe that she did not know Danielle’s name.  Really?  You are on this show, and don’t know who she is?  Why then when Kim D. comes in, are you talking about Danielle like you know her?

Danielle blows Kim D. off on the phone, but then goes back to the store.  This is like a badly written drama.  It is fake, and stupid, and I don’t care about these women anymore.  Danielle is spewing crap about loving Kim D. too much to shop there anymore, or some other idiotic nonsense.

Danielle is hurt, and betrayed that Kim D. has turned on her.  Danielle, you can’t possibly be surprised!  Nobody wants to be your friend sweetie.  You are a whack job.  We are dealing with celebrity whores, and your coat tails are not worth grabbing onto.

We’re in the kitchen with Caroline and Albert.  I hear her talk about her children, and their leaving, and it breaks my heart.  I have only one son, and he is only 14, and as much as I can’t wait to see what he does with his life, I dread the day when he will leave.

She is struggling and it’s sad.  She wants Albert to retire, so he can spend time with her, and he of course is not going to.  He tells her to get a job, or have a baby, and it’s cute, but he does not get what she is going through.  I think she is the most relatable, and the only one not scripting herself.

Kim D. calls Danielle at home and tells her she is sorry, and she should come to the fashion show.  Really?  This show is so fake.  Why would she insist she come, and why would she agree to go?  It makes no sense and stinks of crap.  Danielle is gross, Kim D. is gross, and this show is gross.

Jacqueline and Teresa invite Caroline over to tell her they are going to the fashion show, and Danielle will be there.  Caroline is the only one who appears to not buy into the drama.  She is telling them not to go, but they don’t listen.  If Caroline gets gross, I will never watch this show again.

Danielle has threatened her daughter, Kim D. has clearly shown she is playing both sides of the fence, so why would Jacqueline a) go and b) allow her daughter to participate?  Ashley and Jacqueline should bow out of the fashion show and let everyone else drown under their own garbage.

Kim G. has gone to pick up Danielle.  This broad is a piece of work.  She is cute, and could have been a great addition, along with her mother-in-law who looks like a hoot.  Instead, she aligned herself early on with the wrong side, and now we could care less about her.

She looks like all she cares about is getting on the show, and causing drama wherever she goes.  Granted she got annoyed with Danny, and separated herself from all that crap, but it’s too little, too late.  Don’t trust her, don’t like her, and don’t think she can turn it around without looking stupid.

The fashion show is beginning.  If Kim D. is so set on being a part of this show, why didn’t she host the event at the Brownstone?  Sidebar:  Teresa and Jacqueline are wearing fur.  I’m guessing the chinchillas were skinned alive, and suffered horrific pain, for a vest.  Disgusting.

Danielle arrives with her new bodyguard Dennis.  Dear Lord.  Why is this woman not in a hospital having 24 hour therapy? It’s disrespectful for Bravo, after we have been so loyal, to treat us like we’re morons.  Not sure I can make it through the season.  It’s easier to just not watch.

Caroline and Albert are at dinner.  She is sad, getting lonely, and she wants him to scale back at work and spend time with her.  He’s not into it because he’s worked so much, for so long, he doesn’t know how to not work.  I hope he figures out a way to be with her more.  I love these two.

At the fashion show Kim G. is telling Danielle to be the lady that she is.  Poor Kim G. keeps trying to do the right thing, but she is wasting her time on Danielle.  Danielle is pretending to be on the phone to annoy Kim D. and Danielle is spewing to the ladies at her table like a broken record.

Teresa is stalking Danielle to “say hi”.  Really? Teresa has dived into the gutter.  She is gross, along with the chinchilla jacket her bankruptcy filing got her.  And so the groundwork is laid for a big blowout next week.  I actually find myself feeling sorry for Danielle at this point, which is not a good sign.

Danielle is crazy, but she’s all talk.  Teresa is stirring the pot, and none of them are interesting enough for us to really care.  We watch to have an hour of fluff, but this show is too much work.  It’s complicated, and everyone is playing dirty.  How sad that nobody is stepping in to clean up the mess.

I’ll watch how is all pans out because I’m in already, but it’s going to be hard.  I feel sorry for the kids of every single one of these women.  They will look back on the show and be mortified.  Except for Caroline’s kids, who I hope will look back on the show and go visit their mother.

The Real Housewives of DC is about to start and I can’t help but question my sanity for getting sucked into that one too.  I never thought I’d say it, but I miss the good old days of normalcy in Orange County.  As for me making it though the season with the “ladies” of New Jersey, I’m keeping the faith.

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June 27, 2010 | 9:52 pm

Gilad Shalit: A Soldier, A Mother, and the Power of Prayer

Posted by Ilana Angel

I have followed the story of Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit since he was captured on June 25, 2006.  He was 19 years old when he was abducted, and it has been four years since his family has seen, or spoken to him.  Four years since his mother touched her baby, or had a good night’s sleep.

My son has been at his father’s house for a week, and it will be another seven days until he comes home.  I know he is safe.  I talk to him every day.  I have nothing to worry about.  Yet some days, I miss him so much, that I sleep in his room.  I cannot imagine what life is like for Aviva Shalit.

Not knowing what is happening to your child is a nightmare that I cannot wrap my head around, and pray every day I will never experience.  I think about all the things that have happened in my life over the past four years, and it allows me to put Aviva’s experience into perspective.

I have never met Aviva, yet feel as if I know her.  She is like any mother who loves her child.  There is a special bond between a mother and a son. All children are precious, and we don’t love sons different from daughters, but there is something magical about a mother and a son.

When celebrities win awards, or athletes win big games, they thank their moms no matter how old they are.  I know my son is uniquely connected to me, and my relationship with him shapes how I live my life.  He is my greatest blessing, no matter how old he gets.

Each phone conversation with my son ends with him saying, “I love you, mom.”  Every reunion after time apart, even a day, begins with “I love you mom.”  While I appreciate and crave the words from my son, Aviva’s ongoing heartache, reminds me to never take any of it for granted.

Every time I tell my son I love him, I share the words from Aviva to Gilad.  Every time my son calls me to let me know he is okay, he carries a message from Gilad to his mother.  Every time I pray for the safety of my son, I must wish the same for Gilad.

I believe in God, and I believe in prayer.  I know there is strength in numbers, and so I ask this:  As mothers, Jewish or not, of sons or daughters, whether our children are babies or adults, are we not obligated to unite our voices, and join prayers to bring this boy home?

Our prayers will not just be for Gilad Shalit,  but for every soldier who has a mother, father, child, sibling, or friend who cares about them, and prays for their safe return.  Our prayers must extend to every single child, who is trying to find their way home.

Our united voices are for every little girl who dreams of being a mom, every mom who gave birth to a child, every mom who is blessed to raise a child delivered by another woman, every mom who is waiting for her child to be born, and every mom who is waiting for her baby’s safe return.

We are mothers.  We are strong and our love can bring these kids home.  I am certain people are rolling their eyes, thinking I’m ridiculous for suggesting this can help.  To those people, I say this: If I were Aviva Shalit, I would take comfort in each and every prayer.

I can’t bring Gilad home.  I can’t make a call to those who have taken him, and negotiate his safe return.  What I can do, is keep him alive in my prayers, wish for him all that I wish for my own child, and find peace in the fact that God is listening, and paying attention to my prayers.

Prayer is personal.  Not everyone prays, and different people pray in different ways. Don’t let the word “prayer” stop you from joining your voice to mine.  By taking a moment to think about Gilad, or by saying “Gilad, you are in my thoughts”, is enough.

Jewish or gentile, soldier or civilian, add this wonderful boy, his mother, and all families, of all soldiers, in all conflicts, in all countries, to your thoughts today.  Regardless of how you worship, whether you believe in prayer or not, it won’t hurt, and it takes no time.

To Aviva, you are in my prayers. I will hold my son for both of us, until you are able to hold Gilad again.  To Gilad, be strong.  We are all waiting for you to come home.  As mothers we are able to love all children, which is a blessing.  We love you Gilad, and we are keeping the faith.

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June 24, 2010 | 11:46 pm

Bethenny Frankel:  After 3 Weeks, I Finally Get The Attraction

Posted by Ilana Angel

Bethenny, Getting Married? was painful to watch the first two weeks. I’ve developed a bi-polar love affair with Bethenny Frankel.  The RHONYC ended with my really liking her.  I took her side in all the drama with Jill, and was sincerely happy for all her successes, and hoped her show did well.

But by the end of the first episode, I could not stand to hear her voice.  She was shrill, abrasive, rude, and a hard-core bitch.  It was a shock after my feelings about her on The Real Housewives, but I was willing to stick by her, because maybe she just appeared harsh on her own, without buffers.

On week two, I thought she was a little more entertaining, somewhat funny, but still bitchy.  I did not get her and Jason together, and wondered if they would have been getting married, if she had not gotten pregnant.  My two first blogs about her show were met with harsh criticism.

To all the haters who felt the need to tell me I was a horrible human being for speaking badly about “their” Bethenny, I have crossed over to the dark side.  I thought she was great tonight.  A couple of my observations may still piss you off, but I finally get it and her.

Week three starts with a book signing at Costco. Bethenny is on fire for the shopping holy land, and it’s hilarious.  She is funny and adorable.  I loved her within two minutes.  Sidebar:  I too have almost come to blows over a roasted chicken at Costco.  It was the last one, and I touched it first.

It is an insight into a new relationship, with two people who love each other, but are clearly fast tracked into getting to know each other.  It’s charming to watch her and Jason interact.  He is really something.  He is patient, kind, and insanely attractive.

The book signing is a bust because only 3 people turn up, so she blows it off to go shopping with Jason.  He has brought her a little buffet of food samples, and it’s darling.  She seems to love him, and is sweet.  One might question the editing, and how she went from bitch to angel in a week.

We’re out of Costco and back to the wedding plans.  Bitchy Bethenny is trying to sneak out, but she is pushing her back and being good.  She is off to get her hair sampled for the wedding with Shawn, the most suffocating and hovering wedding planner in the world.

Sidebar:  Why is she not getting her hair done by her gay pal hair dresser Francky, who she said she would marry, and have a baby with, if she was not married and pregnant by the time she was 40?  Shawn is annoying her.  He knows it, she controls herself, and I find myself liking her.

Not sure why she has a wedding planner.  The poor guy is not allowed to do his job,  she does not trust him, and granted he should have been more of a yes man in the beginning,  he is the wedding planner, she is not.  If she let him do his job, she might be pleasantly surprised.

Shawn steps away to give her space.  He comes back, and Bethenny apologizes for being snippy.  She continues to be snippy, but she owns it, and Shawn rolls with the punches.  Best line of the night, in terms of Shawn, I may strangle him, just for fun.  Loved it.

Shawn wants some power in the wedding planning, but Bethenny says no.  Shawn is trying so hard to make her happy, and do his job, and their dynamic together is entertaining.  He tells her it’s all going to be well, and then in his interview, rolls his eyes over the Bridezilla.

Bethenny is shopping for maternity clothes with her friend Jake.  She is tired, and overwhelmed.  When she starts to cry, I want to hug her.  She is sick because her body is shutting down from all the stress and fatigue.  We see her as a little girl, who feels like she has no one to help her.

Jake is very supportive.  When she looks at him and says help me, help me, I feel like I finally get her, understand her humor, and see the woman who was so appealing on RHONYC.  Okay people, I admit it.  She is great, and I like her.  Took me a minute to get here, but here I am.

Bethenny and Jake sit and chat with the shop owner Rosie, who gives classes on getting ready for a baby.  Rosie is fabulous, and Bethenny is feeling better.  She heads off to therapy.  I wasn’t a fan of the therapy sessions on the first show, but I got it today.  Good for her that she is so open.

Bethenny and Jason are heading off to Atlantic City, for a joint Bachelor/Bachelorette party.  Max is helping her pack, and is clearly uncomfortable, but trying.  She is slinging the one liners, and I find myself actually laughing out loud.  Why this kid would want this job, I will never know.

Shawn shows up to tell her she got the Four Seasons for the wedding.  Cookie attacks him, which says a lot.  She is eating cotton candy, Shawn has redeemed himself, and life is good.  They discuss the wedding budget, and you can see they are starting to get a rhythm, just in time.

Bethenny and Jason go to Atlantic City with their friends.  They’re talking about how he proposed.  Jason says he knew she was the one, even though they were not monogamous, and dating other people.  The natural question here would be, is he sure the baby is his? 

It puts their relationship into perspective.  Are they getting married because she got pregnant?  Bethenny says she is 88% to92% sure she wants to marry Jason.  She’s had a tough haul, and I understand her fear.  But still, not sure it’s what I’d put out there for the masses to hear.

The gang is at dinner, and all is well.  They cut to an interview with Bethenny, and it was clearly done post baby.  Bethenny looks amazing.  Especially compared to the interview from earlier, where she is bloated, and in the final stages of her pregnancy.  It’s quite a dramatic difference.

Sidebar:  We get our first look at the Real Housewives of DC.  Not sure if I can watch another one of these.  By not sure, of course I mean I am going to watch it, blog about it, and get hooked on it like crack.  I can’t walk away, no matter how much I tell myself, and all of you, that I will.

It’s the morning after, and Jason wakes up without his shirt, yummy, but with Bethenny’s sash that says “Bride To Be”.  And so Atlantic City comes to an end.  The preview of next week has promise of Bitchy Bethenny returning.  Can she stay good Bethenny?  I’m keeping the faith.

 

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June 24, 2010 | 10:29 am

Will Sonja Morgan Make it Okay For Single Moms to Have Sex?

Posted by Ilana Angel

Sonja Morgan is the newest cast member on The Real Housewives of New York City.  She is in her 40’s, has been divorced for years, is the mother of one child, and she thinks sex is important.  Not only is it important to her, but she has no problem talking about it, out loud, and in public.

People don’t like to talk about sex, but that’s not the case with Sonja.  She has been called a breath of fresh air, and people like her.  The thing is, she likes to not only talk about sex, but have sex.  It poses the question: can this one fabulous and sexy woman, make it okay for single moms to have sex?

Like Ms. Morgan, I am in my 40’s, a mom, searching for love, and am not scared to say that I have a sex life.  It may not be as active as Sonja’s, but it’s there, and not something I’m ashamed of.  It is important, when raising a child alone, to remember that we are women, in addition to being moms.

A few years ago, there was hope Kim Cattrall’s portrayal of Samantha, on Sex and the City, would make it okay for older women to have sex. That didn’t really pan out.  She was a career single woman, with no kids, and was so over the top, it didn’t legitimize sex for the divorced set.

Sonja is not having more sex than her friends just because she is single.  She is having more sex because she is able to see it as a good thing, not something dirty that stays in private, and is only allowed if you are married. It’s about attitude.  Divorced women need to embrace their sexuality.

Not everyone needs to go on television and talk about having sex, but God bless Sonja for doing it.  I think she presents herself, and her views on sex, in a way that is not threatening, or dirty.  She is accessible and approachable, so her message is welcomed, not intimidating or embarrassing.

Sex for a single woman in her 40’s is both a blessing and a curse.  A blessing because we are mature and wise.  We know our bodies, what we like, and what we’re good at.  It’s a curse, because sex is something we are not allowed to openly talk about.  Nobody is supposed to know we have sex.

Sonja put it perfectly when she explained that just because you date a man for six months, build a relationship, and then decide to sleep with him, does not mean he will be with your forever.  It could still be a one night stand.  You could be conservative, with the hope it becomes a real connection, only to sleep with him once, and have him bail.

There are no guarantees that you will find love with every person you sleep with.  That should not matter however, as long as you love yourself.  It’s time for divorced moms to value themselves.  We can be successful as moms, and at work, and still have sex, without having the promise of happily ever after.

Having consensual sex does not make you a slut.  Having sex with someone who’s not your spouse, does not make you a whore.  Going on a date, even though you have children, does not make you a bad mother.  Allowing yourself to have grown up relationships, is the best part of being a grown up.

I dig Sonja Morgan.  I think she is changing how women view sex, and that is a great thing.  Single moms are not going to head out in droves to have sex, but maybe they will talk about it, which is the first step.  For me, being in a loving and committed relationship is the goal, and sex is a part of that.

For other women, maybe a relationship is not the goal, but they would like to have sex on a regular basis, with one reliable person.  Whatever the goal is, Sonja’s message is an important one.  Sex is not a bad thing, and we are all allowed to have it.  Shave your legs, give him a call, and keep the faith.

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June 23, 2010 | 9:48 am

Dating & Religion:  Am I a Bitch for Only Dating Jews?

Posted by Ilana Angel

I only date Jewish men.  For me, it feels safe and comfortable to be with a Jew.  It is my faith, and regardless of one’s level of Jewish observance, it is important to me to have that bond.  I am raising my son Jewish, and would hope that when he gets married, he will marry a Jewish girl.

Does that mean I hate all people of other religions?  What does it say about someone if they want to marry within their faith?  Is the perception of you worse, if you are a Jew?  When a Christian says they would like their kids to marry someone from their church, is that more acceptable?

When I write about this topic, it is met with interesting comments.  I get criticized, and called a bigot, for not wanting to date someone who is not Jewish.  Just this past week, I was called a reverse anti-Semite for saying that I prefer to date men who are Jewish.

I would feel uncomfortable going to church to worship.  Does that make me a bad person?  I want my son to marry a woman who can carry on our traditions, does that make me horrible?  I really don’t understand the argument that I am unkind and prejudice, for wanting this for myself.

On Monday night I wrote to a man on an online dating site.  His religion was listed as “spiritual, not religious”.  I’m not sure what that means exactly, but in trying to broaden my horizons, and perhaps date outside my faith, I wrote him. I focused on a man who was spiritual, regardless of his faith.

I wrote a short, funny email, and hit send.  Within a minute, I got an automatically generated response saying he felt we were not a match.  It would have been impossible for him to read through my profile so quickly.  I assumed it was because he saw my picture, and was not attracted to me.

I was feeling quite ballsy, so I wrote him another email.  I told him that while I respected his decision to blow me off in a second, I was curious what it was that made him respond so quickly. I was not a bitter stalker, just a singles blogger, who was curious about how the whole thing worked.

He wrote to tell me that while he thought I was attractive, he does not date Jewish women.  Even though he is more spiritual than religious, he would rather date someone who was Catholic, as that was his upbringing, and what he was comfortable with.  I was not hurt, and it actually got us talking.

We ended up emailing back and forth for an hour, and then chatting on the phone for a couple of hours after that.  His name is Dave, and I know he’s reading, so hello Dave.  Dave felt uncomfortable telling me it was religion that made him decide against getting in touch. 

I get it.  Not only do I get it, I was not at all offended.  I did not assume he was an anti-Semite because he does not date Jews.  FYI: He has now changed his profile to say he is Catholic.  No point in saying you are spiritual and not religious, when your religion is going to determine who you will date.

We can say we are open minded, and religion is not that important to us.  We all want to be loved by someone who respects us, and however they choose to worship, will not matter, but that’s not always true.  It matters, and some people care.  Some care more than others, it does not make them bad people.

Dave likes to have a Christmas tree every year, while I would never have a Christmas tree in my home.  Unless we are going to get married, and have two different houses, it would never work.  Dave is considered a solid Catholic for standing by his faith, but I’m a hater for standing by mine.

I wrote last year that I would be disappointed if my son married outside of our faith, and I was slammed.  People wrote to say that I was just like Hitler, for wanting to keep Jews together.  Really?  I think there is a certain harshness that is applied to Jews wanting to marry Jews.

The most mean spirited mail I got was from non-Jewish women who were married, or dating, Jewish men.  They felt that just because I was Jewish, did not mean I was the only woman who could date a Jew.  I didn’t get first crack at Jewish men just because I was a Jew.

I got the most supportive email, from a member of the neo-Nazi movement in Nebraska, who felt that it was my right to marry a Jew, and he hoped, with all his heart, that both my son and I married Jews, and did not mix our “race” with that of another.  Scary.

There are kids dying overseas, fighting to keep us safe.  The golf is a mess, and the oil is spreading far and wide.  A little boy in Oregon is missing.  If we look at the big picture, does my desire to be with someone Jewish really matter?  The only person who should really care, is me.

I love my son, and will love who he chooses to share his life with.  Just because I want him to marry a Jew, does not mean I will disown him, or never speak to him if he marries a non-Jew.  I want him to be happy, and hope I present our faith in a way that he will want that for his own family.

There is a difference between wanting to date within your own faith, because you practice that religion, and not dating outside your faith, because you are not accepting of people who are not just like you.  I respect faith, and admire people who are devoted to it, regardless of how they worship.

I believe in God, and I follow the traditions of Judaism.  I feel strongly that my life is better, and makes more sense, when I put my trust in the hands of something bigger than myself.  Whether you believe in God, Jesus, Allah, or Buddha, having faith, and belief in something, anything, is important to me.

Religion is an easy thing to fight about.  It makes people different, and differences cause a lot friction.  Not all my friends are Jewish, and not all my friends necessarily know that I am Jewish.  I’m just living my life, and hoping to share it with a man who is Jewish.  It’s not a big deal.

I am not a bad person, and I also don’t think Dave is a bad person.  We both have faith, both believe in God, and are both searching for love.  Our goals are solid, our minds are open, are hearts are available, and our intentions are good.  All we need to do now, is keep the faith.  Any faith.

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June 22, 2010 | 8:55 am

The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Danielle is a Lesbian Now?

Posted by Ilana Angel

The show starts off with a new opening, which does not include Dina.  In the back of my mind, I thought she would still be around every once and a while, but it’s not happening.  She is out, life goes on, and the other ladies, all but Danielle of course, are not too happy about it.

Danielle is meeting with a plastic surgeon to get her breasts repaired.  She has damage from so many implant surgeries, and is going to have them taken out, and new ones put back in.  She can’t take care of her house, or buy her kids new clothes, but she can get her boobs done?

She talks a lot about how she does not feel sexy, and she needs her breasts done in order to feel good about herself.  Was she uncomfortable when she was sending movies of herself by cell phone to Steve?  This chick is crazy and I’m not buying it.  She is selfish, and her life is all about her.

Lauren is in beauty school, and Caroline goes to visit her in class.  She is watching Lauren work on a client,  and she starts crying because she is so proud of her.  Of all the housewives, of all the cities, Caroline is my favorite.  I love this woman, and respect her as a mother.

Chris and Jacqueline are waiting for Ashley to come home for a “talk”.  Interesting that Chris is so present on the show this season, when we never really saw him too much before.  I like him.  He is tough, and clearly loves his family.  I like it when he tries to get all Soprano around Derek.

Ashley tells her parents she misses home, and wants to move back.  They explain she is always welcome there, as long as she follows their rules.  They are firm, but flexible, and Ashley is moving back in.  I like these people.  They are real, and it’s good Chris is a bigger part of the show.

Teresa is planning her house warming party, and guess who the event planner is?  Elvira.  She is the woman who threw the JCC luncheon for Bethenny on the Real Housewives of New York City.  What’s with all the cross over between New York and New Jersey?  I don’t like it.

I thought Bethenny was a bitch to this woman, but now that we really get to meet her, and see what she is all about, I can’t stand her.  She is obnoxious, and rude.  I find her annoying, and if they are introducing us to her on both shows because she is coming on next year, we don’t want her.

She is so JAPpy, that I find it difficult to even listen to her voice.  She is bagging on Teresa for not having help, and says she will die if she does not get a housekeeper, and a nanny.  Teresa calls herself old school, and says she likes to do it herself, which Elvira does not get.

Best part is after she has toured Elvira through the house, Teresa is ready to get her out.  Elvira is still talking on the front stoop, when Teresa just talks over her, says thank you, and shuts the door in her face.  It was hilarious, and completely understandable.

Caroline is home and having a talk with Albie, who lets her know he is being asked to leave law school, for not getting the grade required by the school.  He says he has appealed their decision, but they have advised him to find a new career, and law is not the thing for him. 

Caroline gives Albie a speech about not giving up, and not letting anyone tell him what he can do, or what he can be.  She cries, and I found myself crying with her.  It does not matter how old our kids get, they are still our children.  The love and support All and Caroline have for all their children, is admirable. 

Jacqueline and Teresa are out shopping for post baby clothes, and they go to Kim D’s shop.  Kim D is gross.  She is two faced, trying to get on the show as a permanent fixture, and I don’t trust her.  Her boyfriend is a drunk, she is a liar, and I think Bravo is scraping the bottom of the New Jersey barrel.

Danielle is going into surgery.  She tells the doctor nature has been very good to her.  If she were happy with what nature gave her, would she be having her fourth boob job?  Sidebar: If your medical center were going to be on TV, wouldn’t you make sure all the lights in the sign worked?  Tacky.

Teresa is dropping a load of cash on her house warming party.  The party happened before she and Joe filed for bankruptcy.  It’s impossible to believe they did not know, when planning the party, that they would file.  It’s sleazy to spend so much money, when you know you have no intention to pay.

This party is over the top.  Such a complete and total waste of money.  It’s all for show, and while I get the desire to show off your house, she has changed the house so no none can see how it really looks.  I love Teresa, but this party is embarrassing.

Danielle is out of surgery, and all went well.  She is home with her kids, and it’s just weird to me.  Seeing her with her kids is off putting for some reason.  Danielle says the boob job symbolizes a new beginning for her.  Does she mean a new career in porn?  This chick is offensive.

It’s party time, and it’s ridiculous.  Teresa gives a speech to welcome her guests.  She invites Caroline and Jacqueline up, because they are her friends, and she wants to thank them.  Then, out of nowhere, drunk Kim D. goes up, in the middle of the speech, and starts talking to Teresa.

It’s hilarious.  She is just talking to Teresa, telling her how happy she is to be there, and what a great party it is, right in the middle of Teresa’s moment.  She is hammered.  Caroline is mortified, Jacqueline is laughing, and Tesesa is to dealing with a drunk, without making it too much of a scene. 

Kim G. is talking to Ashley about Danielle, and Caroline shuts it down.  She lets everyone know to not talk about Danielle at all, because it’s Teresa’s night.  Caroline is a lady, and Kim G. and Kim D and drunk, horrible skanks.  Bravo has taken this great show, and turned it into an ugly mess.

In the beginning, the ladies were interesting.  They were wealthy, but living lives just like ours, and it was a look in a window that was fascinating.  It’s now a bunch of chicks that we don’t care about, would never hang with, and are disgusting.  Bravo has ruined this show, and kudos to Dina for bailing.

On Watch What Happens Live, Danielle was Andy Cohen’s guest.  First, there is no way in hell that this woman has not has major work done on her face.  She denies it, but come on!  She has been nipped, tucked, and shot up so much that it looks like she is wearing a mask.

Danielle tells Andy she has not watched the sex tape that is out of her.  Seriously?  She has totally watched it.  I bet she also sold it.  She is so condescending and gross.  She is rude to all the callers, all the questions are answered with total snarkiness.  She also can’t speak English.

Danielle says she has never hooked up with Danny.  Does she think we are stupid?  She says she is not pushing her kids.  Okay.  She says she does not know why she is unable to use the words “woman” and “women” properly in a sentence.  You cannot believe anything that this woman says.

Danielle says Kelly and Jill are two of the sweetest women she has ever met.  Interesting that the two other housewives she singles out, are the whack jobs from NYC.  Best moment was when Ramona tweeted Andy to tell him Danielle was a liar.  Loved it.

The show ends with Danielle singing a song with her new lesbian lover, Lori Michaels.  The most shocking thing is not that Danielle is now possibly a lesbian, but that she can actually sing.  The song is beautiful, and the songwriter looks like Danielle, which is probably why she is attracted to her. 

Danielle is scary.  I seriously have to question Bravo for the choices they are making.  People get fired all the time, so fire some of these chicks already.  Not sure how much longer I can watch New Jersey.  This season might be it for me.  There is no hope for Danielle, so for her kids, I’m keeping the faith.

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June 21, 2010 | 9:28 am

Graduation, Father’s Day, Eating Disorders, & an Online Dating Experiment

Posted by Ilana Angel

My son graduated from middle school last week.  He did a phenomenal job, ended with a stellar report card, and looked handsome as he walked across the stage to get his diploma. I’m sure he will forget a lot about the day, except for one thing.

He was sporting a Mohawk.  He has wanted one for as long as I can remember.  Every time we went to get his hair cut, he would request that he get one.  I could never bring myself to let him do it.  He has such gorgeous hair, I could never allow him to ruin it.

I am pleased, and rather surprised to report, that it looks fabulous.  He looks really good, is really happy, and that is all that really matters.  He not only graduated from middle school, but he transitioned from a young boy, to a young man, and it all happened, with something as simple as a hair cut.

I hope he realizes it starts and finishes with the Mohawk.  If he comes to me now, wanting a piercing or a tattoo, we are going to have a problem.  Hair grows back quickly, so even if it were horrible, no harm, no foul.  Piercings and tattoos however, will need to wait.  Forever!

Yesterday was Father’s Day.  It’s always a little sad for me, since losing my dad.  He was a wonderful man, and I love him very much.  It took me a couple of years before I stopped calling him on his cell phone, every time I needed to talk to him.  My son reminds me a lot of him, and that is a blessing.

My son spent the day with his dad.  He was going to sleep at his dad’s, but called to say he wanted to come home after their dinner.  I was thrilled to have him here.  I always sleep just a little better when he is here at my house.  He came home around 9:30, and I made us a cup of tea.

When he came in, he insisted I sit on the couch.  I panicked thinking there was bad news coming, but no.  He wanted to tell me he loves me, and while he has a dad who he loves very much, I am like a mother and a father to him, and he wanted to wish me a Happy Father’s Day.

He presented me with gifts.  Some Tupperware, my favorite thing, measuring cups, we love to cook, spice jars, he likes to doctor recipes, and a pair of earrings, which is the only jewelry I wear.  I was blown away.  He is a lovely boy, and I am blessed to be his mother.  That he included me for Father’s Day, means I’m doing my job right.

Our cat, Fiddles, has been vomiting.  She eats, and then throws up.  It’s almost instant.  Within a minute of her finishing her food, it comes right back up.  I’ve begun giving her smaller amounts of food throughout the day, and that seems to be helping, but I was concerned.

I took her to the vet to rule out anything serious.  After an hour and a half, and $230.00, the vet told me my cat was bulimic, and suffering from some emotional issues.  He suggested she see a cat behaviorist, to determine what is causing her to force herself to vomit after eating.  Really?

Is it because I live in Los Angeles that this man thinks his diagnosis will be embraced?  He did not suggest I change her food, or the amount she is eating, or get another cat to keep her company.  Instead, he wants me to think she is so upset with her life, she is making herself vomit.

Her life is hard.  She sleeps in a beautiful bed, has her own playhouse, food everyday, a ton of toys, and two people who love her, pay attention to her, cuddle and snuggle her, and make it clear that she is loved and a part of the family.  Clearly, she is in distress.  Quack, quack, quack.

I am not a vet.  I am however someone who loves my cat.  I happily spent the $230.00 to rule out anything serious, and make sure she was not in pain.  For him to tell me it’s emotional, is in my opinion, a pile of crap. I am now dealing with piles of puke, and piles of crap.  Fabulous.

I had an interesting date this weekend.  A nice man, in his early 50’s, with two grown kids, and a lovely personality.  We didn’t have much in common, but had a nice evening.  While we discovered that we both found each other interesting, there was no real connection.

It was one of those dates where I walked away having had a nice time, and appreciative that I met a nice man.  Compared to some of the other dates I’ve had recently, this one was near perfect.  I hope he meets someone great, and if I think of anyone who will be a match for him, I will make an introduction.

An online dating service contacted me last week with a challenge.  They want me to date exclusively through their site, for six months.  Through my blog, they know I date, am looking for a relationship, and write about my search for love.  They think I can meet my match within six months, if I use their service, exclusively.

It’s an interesting experiment, and one that I’m considering.  The thing is, as my regular readers know, I date Jewish men.  I hope to marry again, and would like it to be with a Jew.  Some people get it, but most people don’t.  At this stage in my life, faith has become more important, not less.

Is this the push I need to think outside the box, and not limit my choices in terms of love?  Is it an opportunity to kiss and make up with JDate and see if they want to do the experiment?    Should I just stay on my own, knowing that I will meet the right man when it’s the right time?

The question is, am I not comfortable enough with my own faith, that the faith of another should not matter?  There are Jews on all the major online dating sites, and there are also different levels of Jews.  Just because you were born a Jew, does not mean you are a practicing Jew. 

Maybe it’s time to remove my own limitations, and open my heart to love, without throwing in obstacles which ultimately do not matter that much.  I want a man to love me, love my kid, make me laugh, and share my life.  It matters most that he be kind, and have faith.  What his faith is, should not be a deal breaker.

My week had a graduation, an invaluable gift of love from my son, a classic Californian visit to the vet, and a new opportunity for love.  At the end of the day, life is short, and I am fabulous, so I need to live my life out loud, and embrace new opportunities.  I am going to let go, so I can hold on and enjoy the ride.  Anything is possible, as long as I remember to keep the faith.

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