Posted by Ilana Angel
Monday night I got to spend my weekly hour in New Jersey, and it was fabulous. This show does not disappoint. Watching these women is both entertaining, and mortifying. We wait for it each week, watch it closely, and then spend 6 days saying we won’t watch it anymore, only to be thrilled when Monday night comes back around.
I noticed this week that in the opening credits, Dina’s daughter Lexi no longer appears. Clearly she is keeping her off this year, but I wonder why. She is a cute girl, but she is only 14, and I say bravo to Dina for pulling her off, if it was in fact her. This show is no place for children, and by no place, of course I mean Danielle should not have children.
Danielle is selling her house. We get a little mini tour and it’s quite revealing, in several ways. First, she tells us that when she sells her house, her ex-husband gets half the sale. She wonders why she should keep it clean and take care of it, when it’s not completely hers. Really? How about because it’s where your kids live.
In walking around with the real estate agent, we see that the house is falling apart. It’s filthy and run down. She keeps talking about how great the house is, and it’s the nicest house in town, but once again she is a lying, and we get to see it first hand. The best part is that she makes the agent take her shoes off, before walking through the pigsty.
Danielle is ridiculous, and fakes her accent. When she is just talking in a normal conversation, she has no real accent. When she being all badass, and channeling her inner Soprano, she gets an accent so thick, it’s as if she is someone else, which makes sense, since she is schizophrenic. Two people, one body, two accents. This chick is a piece of work.
Jacqueline and Caroline are out for lunch with Teresa. Teresa and Caroline are hell bent on dragging Danielle through the dirt, every opportunity they get, and create opportunities where they can. Jacqueline is the sweetest person in New Jersey. She wants so much to support Danielle, but it’s an impossible battle, and they will bring her to the dark side eventually.
Jacqueline’s oldest child, Ashley, comes by to visit, and by visit, of course I mean do her laundry. She is 18, does not go to school, does not have a job, lives with a friend, has a boyfriend who is 23 years old, and goes out drinking even though she is underage. This chick a mess, rude to her mother, clueless about life, and on her way a huge crash and burn.
Danielle’s daughter Christine is going to be a model. She is a really beautiful girl, super tall, and thin, with a fabulous face. She is cute when she talks about it. The funny part is that Danielle is talking about how she is going to be with her every step of the way, and will oversee everything, but for Christine, it’s clearly a way to escape her mother. Sad to watch.
Teresa’s daughter Gia also has aspirations of modeling. She goes to an audition for a fashion show, and is adorable. Cut to Danielle bagging on her, saying she cannot be a model because she just does not have it. She says it will never happen because Gia is only 4 feet tall. She is only 8 years old Danielle. That this chick is so willing to knock a kid down, is disgusting.
Christine is at her first photo shoot, and she is fabulous. The pictures are being taken by Gilles Bensimon. He is the ex-husband of Kelly from the Real Housewives of New York City. He is a hundred years old. Wonder why that marriage didn’t work out. Christine is enjoying her day, but mentions that she wishes her mother was not there. Danielle is going to ruin this for her.
Back at Caroline’s, Albie is pissed off that his sister Lauren, is dating his best friend Vito. If you love your sister, and want her to be with someone wonderful and deserving, wouldn’t you want her to be with your best friend? I don’t get why it’s a big deal. He loves his friend, needs to trust him, and get over himself.
Danielle is with Christine and they find out that the photo shoot landed her on the cover. All Danielle wants to talk about is how much she knows about fashion, and the fashion industry. Christine is a sweet girl. She seems melancholy, and there is a hollow look to her, which is sad. As a viewer, I want this to happen for her so she can escape from her mother, then save her little sister.
The agency is talking about what a great mom Danielle is, and that it will be great to have her there for the entire process. Christine looks like she wants to either burst into tears, or slit her own throat. It’s heartbreaking. This girl is trying so hard to break away from a horrible situation, but she can’t. Danielle is simply not well, and the kids are suffering.
Danielle is planning a luncheon to celebrate the magazine cover that Christine did. What’s so weird, is that she is not including Christine, or any of her friends. It’s just for her, so it can be all about her. She calls people to tell them she is doing a lunch for Christine, yet Christine is not invited. This woman is using her kids to further herself, and I think it’s disgusting.
She invites Dina and Jacqueline, but they both say no. She is so disappointed that they are not coming. Really? They are not coming because you are a crazy person. It’s fascinating that she is honestly surprised they are not there. She needs to be under the care of a doctor. She is delusional. I’m not kidding.
I think Danielle should date Jesse James. They are perfect for each other, and would live happily ever after. She is the exact type of low hanging fruit that he is attracted to. They can live in Crazytown, get tattoos, and talk about how everyone else is crazy, and they are good people, who no one understands. A match made in heaven.
Danielle proceeds to trash talk Dina and Jacqueline at the luncheon. She is not anyone I would ever want to be friends with. She is scary, and turns the luncheon into a fact-finding mission to come back and burn the other ladies, at a later date. Then she talks about how she wishes no harm on anyone, just love and light.
Something bad is going to happen. Seriously. Danielle will hurt someone, or perhaps, as Caroline would have us believe, arrange for someone else to hurt someone. She is a danger to her children. I better shut up before she comes after me too. This show rocks. An explosion is coming, and I can’t wait. As for Danielle coming after me, I’m sleeping with one eye open, and keeping the faith.
12.19.13 at 2:57 am | My son has a free schlepping service.
12.12.13 at 8:05 am | Well played my son. Well played.
12.11.13 at 6:58 am | I watch in awe and stare with envy at these. . .
12.5.13 at 3:16 pm | Heaven has received a blessing today.
12.3.13 at 3:05 pm | Every time I go into the kitchen I half expect to. . .
11.30.13 at 10:42 am | "The only correct actions are those that demand. . .
9.15.13 at 3:14 pm | I love you Russell Brand. (376)
7.25.11 at 5:38 pm | We need more Jews! (267)
12.19.13 at 2:57 am | My son has a free schlepping service. (249)
May 10, 2010 | 12:22 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I went to see the movies BABIES yesterday. My son took me for Mother’s Day and I must tell you, I loved it. It is a beautiful movie, that will make you laugh, cry, and think about the world. It will remind you that no matter where you are from, we are all the same.
Directed by award-winning filmmaker Thomas Balmès, BABIES simultaneously follows four babies around the world – from birth to first steps. The children are, Ponijao, from Namibia; Bayarjargal, from Mongolia, Mari, from Japan; and Hattie, from the United States.
There is no narration, or dialogue, just cooing, crying, and laughing. I was entranced by these beautiful babies, and felt honored to see them grow. As I watched them, I was reminded of my own son, when he was a baby. It is a fabulous movie, and I highly recommend it.
Children are all born innocent. This movie shows us how small the world really is, and how connected all human beings are. We raise our children with our beliefs, and teach them what we know. We mold them into the adults they will become, and show them how to be parents.
The film shows us that regardless of where you are born, what language you speak, or what your traditions are, babies are all the same. To watch these kids, from four corners of the earth, growing up so completely different, yet exactly the same, is eye opening.
I left the movie feeling both sad, and inspired. Sad that people can take innocent lives and fill them with hate. Inspired, that the cycle of hate can end, and we can create a better world. I know it sounds silly and naïve, but it’s true, and that gives me hope.
My son thought it was a great movie. He laughed a lot, and when the babies did things that were particularly funny or gross, he asked me if he ever did the same thing when he was a baby. We came home and watched movies of him as a baby, and it was the greatest Mother’s Day ever.
My son was moved, and left wanting to learn more about the world. We talked about the four families featured in the film, and he had interesting insight into what he saw. He is 14 years old, and this simple movie, has inspired him to look at the world in a new way.
He wants to visit Africa, and help teach locals to grow their own food. He wants to learn about Genghis Kahn, and watch the movie Mongol again. He wants to study the architecture of Tokyo, and go on holiday to San Francisco. He wants to understand why people are so mean to each other.
My son thinks gay people should be able to get married. He believes people are in charge of her their bodies He understands that you never hit a woman, or a child. He cheers for the underdog, thinks all men are created equal, and does not care what color people are, or what their faith is.
My son believes these things, because I taught him these things. He is filled with love and hope, because I raised him that way. We all have the power to build a better world through our children, regardless of where we are from, or what we believe. That is a lot of power.
Everyone should see the movie BABIES. It will change how you look at the world, and your place in it. I am blessed to have a child, and proud of myself for raising him to be a wonderful human being. Teach your kids to be good people, respect themselves, respect each other, and keep the faith.
May 9, 2010 | 10:39 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
Being a mother is the greatest job in the world. The truth is, I’ve never thought of it as a job, so much as a privilege. I love my kid. I love him more than I can properly articulate. He is 14 years old, which is crazy, because I feel like just yesterday he was a baby. I got divorced when my son was not even a year old. We are very close, partly because it’s been him and I for a long time.
When he was 4 years old, he told me he didn’t want me to get married again. I told him I wouldn’t get married until he was ready, and when he was, he should tell me. When he was 10, he told me I should start dating. When he was 12, he told me he thought I should get married. As he gets older, he becomes more concerned with my meeting someone.
My son has always wanted to go university in New York City. NYU has been his plan for as long as I can remember. I’m not sure how he made this decision, but it’s his goal. I have been preparing for his leaving for college since he was little. My whole life is built around this kid, and if his dreams come true, then so do mine. He is my top priority.
He told me recently that if I was not married, by the time he graduated from high school, he would go to college here in Los Angeles. I told him that was silly, and he was going to NYU. He insists he will not leave me alone. Of course I will never allow him to set aside his dreams for me, but at the same time, I am proud that he would even consider staying here for me.
His concern for me is one of the reasons I date so much. Apart from the fact that I like being in a relationship, and am looking for one for me, I feel a little pressure to find one for him. I need to find a man, so my son can leave, and become a man. Some people will think it’s unusual, but it’s not. It’s simply a story about a mother and son, who love and respect each other.
We raise our kids to be good people. We want them to have better lives than we did, with all the advantages that are available to kids of this generation. My child is good people. At 14, he still hugs me in public, tells me he loves me in front of his friends, calls me when he’s out to let me know he is okay, is interested in my opinions, and trusts me with his secrets.
This morning he gave me a gorgeous pearl bracelet and earrings for Mother’s Day. I love them, and will treasure them forever. He also gave me a very funny card, and I want to share what he wrote inside.
I cannot explain the love I have for you as my mother. You are the best Mom a boy could ask for. You have always been there for me, and you will now, and forever, be my best friend. You let me pursue my dreams, and for that I cannot thank you enough. I love you so much and wish you the happiest and best Mother’s Day Ever.
Lot’s of Love,
My son will be going to NYU in 4 years, and I can’t wait to see this dream come true for him. I will support his desire to leave, just as my mother did for me, when I wanted to come to California. I am a wonderful mother, because I have a wonderful mother. To my Mummy, and all the moms, I wish you all a very Happy Mother’s Day. I hope it’s relaxing and full of joy.
To my son, I love you. I could not be prouder of you. Not just because you are my son, but because you are a wonderful human being. Thank you for making all my dreams come true. Being your mom is truly a blessing. If I’m married or not, if I have a boyfriend or not, you are going to university in New York City. I am your mother, and you have to do what I say. Why? Because I said so. Now go clean your room.
I hope my son remembers all the things I’ve taught him. I hope he forgives me for the mistakes I’ve made. I hope he lives happily ever after. I hope he marries a wonderful woman, and has healthy babies. I hope I am here to see it all. I hope that if he remembers only one thing I’ve said, for the rest of his life, it’s that no matter what happens, good and bad, he must always keep the faith.
May 7, 2010 | 9:54 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
Before we get into this weeks episode, let’s put a few things on the table right from the start. Jill Zarin is the most narcissistic person on television. She is worse than Oprah. If you’ve got a headache, she’s got a brain tumor. If your stomach hurts, she’s got an ulcer. If you are not talking about her, she has no use for you. I am seriously over this woman.
Furthermore, “Countess” LuAnn is a lunatic. This woman has no class. She is an interfering, mean spirited, troublemaker, who is completely out of touch with reality. Listen Sweetie, you are just a girl that married well. The only royal thing about you, is the blue of your sweater. You are a tranny, socialite wannabe. Buy yourself a trailer, and call it a day.
It’s the night of “Cocktails and Couture” for LuAnn. They are at Sonja’s home, which by the way, is where LuAnn wishes she lived. Alex arrives first. She’s there for two seconds when LuAnn starts scolding her for how she treated Jill. Alex listens to her, tells her she will talk to Jill, and so we wait. For the record, Alex looks great with her new shiny balls.
Sonja comes downstairs, fashionably late to her own party, and LuAnn is surprised to see she wore her hair up. Only one person can wear their hair up, and it’s her. Going back for a second: LuAnn lost her earring back and asked to borrow one. Sonja said she has one pair of earring backs for all of her earrings. Just one. Really? Sonja clearly does not like to share.
Jill, Bobby and Kelly arrive. Jill ignores Alex, which is fine, except they are standing right next to each other. These chicks are out of control. Ramona and Mario arrive, along with Jennifer, who is the new gal being introduced. They are bringing in a lot of new women, probably because we are getting sick of the original group.
It’s Bobby’s turn to confront Alex for her bad treatment of his wife. I like Bobby. He is charming, wise, and really loves his wife. He had cancer last summer, so it’s especially great to see him doing well, and going out. The thing is, he’s orange. If Jill really loves him, she will tell him to stop going to the tanning bed. Seriously, you’re glowing Bobby, and not in a good way.
He asks Alex to talk to Jill and set things straight. He’s a good man. Jill is talking to Kelly, and she is crying about how much she misses Bethanny. She is rehashing, and saying she wants her back. Translation: Jill cannot stand it that Bethanny is getting married and having a baby, and she won’t be able to steal her thunder, and have it be all about her.
Ramona’s turn! She is now talking to Alex about her bad timing in terms of her attack of Jill. Alex goes to talk to Jill, but Jill won’t talk to her. She says there is nothing to say, and immediately leaves the party. Jill is really horrible. In the first year I loved her, but she is now everything that I hate about women.
Bethanny is in the car, and heading to the airport with Jason, because her father has called. Even though she went to see him when she heard he was sick, he would not see her. Now that the end is near, he has asked for her to come. It’s heartbreaking. She has talked to him 3 times since she was four, and it’s his impending death that inspires him to call now.
She calls Ramona from the car, and Ramona is lovely. She went through a similar reconnection with her estranged father before he died, and says all the right things. When Ramona is not crazy, she’s great. It’s nice that when Bethanny is going to her dying father’s bedside, she has the camera’s there. It’s very generous of her to think of the viewer, in her time of need.
We’re now at the Gotham party that is being thrown for Kelly. As Alex and Simon are walking in, Alex tells him she is over Jill, they are not speaking, and he needs to stick with her, and be her support. The second they walk in, Simon goes over to Jill and sits with her. Is he just dumb, or is this show actually scripted for drama? Reality TV my ass.
LuAnn arrives with her friend Cort. It appears to be a date, except for the fact that he is gay. He asks her out on a real date, and because she is so desperate and lonely, she says yes. She then compares her singing career, to her being the female Barry White. She is insane. Didn’t she tell Jill she was dating a Jewish guy that she really liked? He must have dumped her.
Ramona is picking her dress for her “vow renewal ceremony”. She puts on a full blown white wedding gown, and goes to show it to her daughter. Avery is completely mortified by her mother, and we see her wanting to crawl out of her own skin. She thinks the dress, ceremony, and her mother, are all ridiculous. Ramona better back off or there will be a pole in their future.
We visit with Bethanny in Los Angeles for another minute. She is taking care of her dad. It’s closure for her, which is nice. We don’t see too much, but not to worry because it’s coming. We see a trailer for her new show, “Bethanny, Getting Married”. Our little girl is branching out on her own, and leaving the ladies for her own individual stardom. Oy Vey.
Note to self: never invite Kelly for dinner because she will bring a “cleanse”, instead of flowers. Whack-a-doodle. Ramona, Jill and Sonja are out for lunch at The Four Seasons. Jill is a bitch. Ramona invites them both for a girls weekend in the Virgin Islands, to celebrate before her “wedding”. It’s a cute idea, and completely silly.
Ramona is being lovely and gracious, while Jill is being a complete and total bitch. She is really not a nice person. She is mean and selfish, and if the world is not revolving around her, she is bored and rather nasty. In one season, Jill has gone from being the one we could relate to, to the one we want to push down a flight of stairs.
I always thought Oprah was the queen of turning every single conversation to be about her, but I think Jill is now top dog. It’s disgusting. They are all at a dinner party, and Ramona tells them Bethanny’s dad died, and all hell breaks loose. Jill loses her mind. Ramona is sharing this sad news that has happened, and Jill makes it all about her.
Jill is furious no one told her Bethanny’s dad was dying. News flash Jill, you are not friends with Bethanny, and it’s none of your business. You told Bethanny you were done, and wanted nothing to do with her, so don’t be surprised that Bethanny has moved on without you. Jill is pathetic, and the reason this show sucks. By sucks, of course I mean rocks.
Jill is totally ruining the party, when Alex arrives and we’re about to get back on the train to Crazytown. Alex is telling Jill she is a bitch, when Jill tells her to leave. It’s not your house Jill, so you don’t get to tell people to leave. Jill may be bi-polar. She is obsessed with gossip. She is a meddling mess, and must be stopped.
I am mortified by this show, and it would appear that the best is yet to come. It’s the most compelling, yet painful season to watch. It’s a show we can’t wait for each week, and then promise ourselves, we will never watch again. I can just imagine what will happen when we see the housewives of Beverly Hills. I’m guessing they take the cake.
Next week looks like it will be mortifyingly delicious. I truly can’t wait for this season to finish. We’re already too far in to stop watching, but I’m done. We have the ladies of New Jersey to keep us entertained. Jill Zarin is the reason we watch, and the reason we want to turn it off. Jill needs therapy. It’s not going to be enough for her to just keep the faith.
May 6, 2010 | 10:43 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I date more than any person I know. I also hate dating more than anyone I know. It is nerve wracking, and stressful. It is also necessary. I would like to be in a relationship very much, and online dating is the easiest way to do it. Not the cheapest way, and certainly not the fastest way, but it is easy, if you are willing to put in the work.
I have had some of the most horrific experiences of my adult life through online dating, and have shared them with you here. Highlights would have to be the guy who got so drunk he threw up on my shoes, or maybe the guy I dated for weeks, until his girlfriend got their joint cell phone bill, and called to see who was getting so many calls from her boyfriends phone.
Who can forget the lovely man who posted his son’s picture online because they looked exactly the same, even though they were 34 years apart? Or the man who was certain he was 5’10”, even without his 5 inch cowboy boots will built-in lifts? Oh yes, I have met some real gems on my journey through online dating.
It’s not just men who make it hard, women can be worse. I hear nightmare stories from men all the time, who talk about women who lie about their age and weight. They post pictures that look nothing like them in real life. I like to think people are not lying to screw us over, but rather are so desperate to find companionship, they bend reality a little to get there.
My hope is that I meet a Jewish man, so I limit my dating to fellow Jews. That’s just my thing. While I could say it’s just a phase I’m going through, and maybe I would date men of other faiths at some point, but the fact is, I have only ever dated Jewish men, and probably always will. Being with someone not Jewish feels like I would be settling.
As someone who writes about being single, and searching for a man, while I raise a boy to be a man, I get asked all the time how I meet all these dates. Well friends, it’s a lot of work. The only way to be successful at online dating, is to check your ego at the keyboard. You have to be willing to open your mind to possibilities, and people, you thought were out of the question.
I have been asked hundreds of times to rate different dating sites, and am finally doing it today. It’s just my opinion, and there is no scientific research to back up my findings, only my experiences. I will be, as I always am, brutally honest. If you’ve had experiences you’d like to share, then please send a comment. To all these companies, I’m just the messenger. The experienced messenger.
Match: This is a good one. There are over 21 millions subscribers, of all religions. They have “winks” where you can let someone know you are interested. I have met some really wonderful men here, and while none have stuck, it’s been good. By good, of course I mean tons of blogs have come out of my time on match.com. The best thing about this site is that there are always new people. You can search twice in one day, and get new people each time. If you are going to date online, this is the site I would recommend.
Plenty of Fish: This one is free, which is great to get started because you can see if you like it before you invest any money. I was on this site for a little while, and was contacted by men, most of whom were not Jewish, though there are a lot of Jews registered. It was very flattering, and I spoke with some lovely men, two of which I set up with friends. In the end I never dated anyone on this site. It might be time for me to give it another shot.
eHarmony: This site did not work for me. They promote an in depth questionnaire, which I found to be lame. It does not matter how many questions they ask, or how deep they are, if someone wants to lie and present themselves a certain way, they will. Men on this site, who were also registered on other sites, and had completely different profiles, contacted me. Lying is rampant so you’ve got to be patient and invest some time. They have the same couples in their commercials, that they have had for years, so how much success are they really having? They don’t allow gay subscribers, which is sad, and telling. I would not recommend this one.
American Jewish Singles: I have never used this site, but I have friends who have. There seems to be more success with my younger friends, than those my age. I have searched it, but not had anyone grab my attention. If you are looking to date someone Jewish, and want to focus on that, this is an alternative to JDate, which is the big Jewish site. This one can’t compare to JDate in its numbers, but it is growing really fast, and is certainly going to give them a run for their money.
JDate: I was a member for a long time, on and off between long term relationships, both of which I met on JDate. When I write about good dates I have with men from JDate, they repost my blog on their site. When I write about a bad JDate date, they complain about my blog. JDate is the largest online dating site for Jews. I only date Jews, yet I’m not a member. I think that says more about them, than me.
Online dating is a necessary evil. Truth is, it’s not evil at all. We live in a time where it’s hard to meet people. I think it’s safer to meet people online, than it is in a bar. It’s all a crapshoot, but without risk, there is no reward. People like to judge those of us who date online. That’s cool. I bet half the people who mock those who do it, have done it themselves.
Don’t be scared. If you go into it with no expectations, it’s a great thing. If you are trying for the first time, join a free site to see if you like it. If you do, then I recommend match.com. Good luck! While there is no guarantee I will meet my beshert online, there is also no guarantee that I won’t. Give it a chance, open your mind, open your heart, and keep the faith.
May 5, 2010 | 9:34 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
The Real Housewives of New Jersey have returned to Bravo. As much as the ladies say they are nothing like the Sopranos, they are. It’s all stereotypes, and of course there is no connection. Except for the Italian, New Jersey, threats, hooker past, drug busts, family ties, threats, and vindictive parts, nothing is the same.
We start out seeing that Jacqueline had her baby, Nicholas. Gorgeous baby and you find yourself genuinely happy for her because she was so open about her struggles to have this baby last season. Good for her that she was able to have another child.
We get a quick look at Dina, who has decided she wants nothing negative in her life. Everything from a vase, to Danielle. If it makes her unhappy, it’s out. She is looking for peace and quiet. Good for her. She lives in a bubble, but good for her. I must say, she has the two freakiest cats I’ve ever seen.
Danielle has hair extensions. She looks like a skanky hooker. The kind that stands on a corner with holes in her hose. She starts off talking about how she is turning to God for help. Everyone who has crossed her will need prayers. She is after all, a devout Catholic.
I’m not sure what it means to be a devout Catholic, but I’m quite certain that she must be an embarrassment to her church. This chick is a whackadoodle and I’m not sure that even prayers can help her. She may just be too far-gone for help. Luckily we have an entire season to decide.
She is sitting with Father Richard, who she was told would be a great person to talk to. She starts spewing all her crap about the ladies, and how they have done her wrong. He is lovely, and listens, but by the end, I think he is a little frightened by her, and probably burned his outfit since she touched it.
Danielle is now yelling at Father Richard that he needs to teach her how to pray for the other ladies. They need help. This woman is seriously disturbed and I think, unwell. She is going to implode, which is sad, but we get to watch, which is great.
We now go visit Teresa. She is making 180 jars of red sauce. Her Italian parents are there, all the kids are helping, and it’s a serious operation. They are real Italian, and it is fabulous. That she cooks this massive amount of sauce, enough for the entire year, is great.
The oldest daughter Gia, tells her mom she loves how they make the sauce. It’s tradition, and lovely to see Teresa passing it on to her daughters. The grandmother then tells Gia that she will marry an Italian. Gia tells her Grandmother that her mother told her not to marry an Italian.
Remember the girl is 8. Teresa tells her to marry a Jew because they cater, and bow down to their wives. Gia says she does not want to marry a Jewish person because they make their kids grow their hair weird on the sides of their head. Teresa shuts up her kid real quick, and we move on.
Caroline, my personal favorite, goes shopping with her husband Albert. He has lost 70 pounds, after having lap band surgery. He looks great, and how she loves him is great. When he comes out in a suit, Caroline starts crying because he looks so good. I love this chick.
Jacqueline and her husband Chris are now talking about Danielle. Apparently Danielle has not reached out at all since the birth of the baby. No call, no card, no flowers, no nothing. Chris tells her that she is not welcome in his home, and he is done with her. Family comes first, and he has set the rules.
She is not going to listen, and says she will not abandon her. This is fabulous since Danielle has clearly abandoned Jacqueline. You cannot watch this show and not think about the Sopranos. Important to note, we loved the Sopranos. Just saying.
It’s the first day of school and Teresa is getting her brood ready. She is about to pop with her fourth baby, and does not know if she is having a boy or girl. The kids are having meltdowns. Hey Teresa, just for the record, you can’t turn a guy gay by taking him shopping. You seem unclear on that.
Danielle is shopping with her girls. They are stunning, and so completely mortified by their mother that it’s painful to watch. She is talking to the shop owner Kim. Kim tells her they are friends, not to worry, she is not alone, and she can count on her no matter what.
Jacqueline’s daughter Ashley, 18, is going out with Derek, 23. She is living with a friend, and doing nothing with her life. Chris is talking to Derek, while he is sharpening knives, and channeling his best Tony Soprano. They are talking about sex, and it’s funny and brilliant.
Caroline is having a fundraising dinner at her house for the local Sheriff, and the kids are there helping get ready. Albie, the oldest son, is best friends with Pussy, I mean Vito. Vito is now dating Albie’s sister, Lauren. Seriously, these people are fabulous, in a total Tony and Carmella kind of way.
Daniele is getting her toes done, and mortified to hear she was not invited to the party at Caroline’s. This chick needs to be medicated. I think she is a danger to her kids, and herself. She is crazy. Not kooky crazy, but take away your kids crazy.
At the party they are all trashing Danielle. Kim from the shop is there, and telling the girls she is not her friend, when she just told Danielle she’s got her back. I feel bad about how much they are ganging up on Danielle, but she brought it on herself, and there is no protecting her.
Danielle is in her car with her girls. She is driving to the party, that she was not invited to, to see what’s going on. She is talking to her girls about how women treat each other, and losing her mind with each word. She went from wanting to drive by, to now going in and confronting Caroline.
Her kids are pleading with her to go home, and it’s not cool to go there. I feel so bad for these kids. They will both end up on the pole because of their mother. Bad enough she is digging a whole for herself, but she is taking her kids with her into hell.
Did anyone notice that Danielle has an accent all of a sudden? She did not sound like this last year. She is totally digging the Soprano comparisons, and is running with it. The fake accent is very entertaining, and by entertaining of course I mean delusional.
It’s going to be an interesting season. We know they are all alive and well since it was taped so long ago, but that does not matter. We will still watch, waiting for the hit to go down. Italian American groups should leave the kids of Jersey Shore alone, and look in the suburbs for the real embarrassment.
May 4, 2010 | 4:21 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
These Things Rock
1) Breaking up early enough that it does not hurt.
2) Being with my son for Mother’s Day.
3) My cat Fiddles.
4) Being the only person who knows how to drive.
5) Everyone but Danielle from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
6) That Andy will never leave me, or break my heart.
7) That I get to watch my son grow up.
8) That I will take my son to Toronto in the summer.
9) Working freelance and having my own business.
10) Knowing that it only takes one ticket to win the lottery.
These Things Suck
1) Breaking up by text message.
2) Not being with my mother on Mother’s Day.
3) Changing kitty litter.
4) People that don’t know how to drive.
5) Danielle from The Real Housewives of New Jersey.
6) That Andy married Patrick and not me.
7) That my son is growing up so fast.
8) That I have to wait until the summer to go to Toronto.
9) Being a freelance employee and small business owner.
10) Never buying a winning lottery ticket.
May 3, 2010 | 8:25 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I have discovered a band that I am very excited to share with you. Actually, they found me. The guys found my blog here at the Jewish Journal, and started following me on Twitter. I checked them out on Twitter, and immediately became a huge fan of their work.
“Shtar”, which in Hebrew translates to the word “contract”, is an amazing group of young men who are creating an unique sound all their own. Although they connected in an unusual way, one could argue it was all beshert. Their music is hypnotic, and I love it.
The members of the band are producer/songwriter, Binyamin Adam, hip-hop lyricist, Ori M’Ori, vocalist Dan, bass player, Alex Lopez-Dias, and drummer, David E. These young men met while studying in a rabbinical college in Jerusalem, opposite the Western Wall.
Ori, is from Seattle, and was working his way up the ladder in the music scene there, when he took a 2 week vacation to Israel, and never returned to the United States. Binyamin Adam, Dan, and Alex Lopez-Dias, are all from England, while David E is from New England.
These five young men, from different places and upbringings, all connected in Jerusalem. With an orthodox change of lifestyle, and an unorthodox musical path to each other, the group Shtar has blended their backgrounds and styles, to create spiritual and moving music.
I think they are worth listening to. You can check out their video for “Modeh”, which is from their album “Infinity” at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxNTjSGtaAM
You can also visit their official website at www.shtarmusic.com. I hope you like them as much as I do. These kids are amazing. I’m glad they found me, so I could find them. I wish them much success with their album.
They are putting out hip-hop music that is not about shooting people, gang violence, or mistreating women. Their words are spiritual, uplifting, thought provoking, and political. How wonderful that my kid can have hip-hop music that talks about keeping the faith.