April 21, 2010 | 9:07 am

Kate Gosselin Off DWTS Made Me Cry + I Liked Octomom on Oprah = Hell Just Froze Over

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Hell must have frozen over, because last night, when Kate Gosselin got voted off of Dancing With The Stars, I cried.  She was crushed to go home and I felt really, really bad for her.  To be clear, not only did she need to go, but she never should have been there.

I feel horrible for this woman.  They dragged her elimination on for 45 minutes, which was insane.  It was reality television magic, but almost uncomfortable to watch.  When she was told she was off, and started to cry, I started crying with her.

I am a single mother, with one child.  I can remember times when my son was little, when I would drive home from work, with my baby in the back seat, and I would cry the entire drive because I was so exhausted.  Being a mother is hard work, doing it alone, is even harder.

This woman does not have the warmest, or bubbliest, personality.  Even when she does something as simple as smile, she looks uncomfortable.  I feel bad for her, and her sadness at being voted off, was palpable.  In the end, I imagine her being on this show was more important than we ever thought.

Any of us would have done the show, if we were in her shoes.  When you need to support eight kids, you don’t turn away from $200,000.  When your ex-husband is a Douchelord, and you have to raise eight kids, you don’t turn away from $200.00.  I don’t know why she was there, but now I’m sad she’s gone.

It’s unfortunate that nobody in her “camp”, tried to help her.  It seems to me that if someone had given her some media training, she could have turned it around, and stayed a little longer.  Kate Gosselin is a tragic figure.  She became famous for having so many kids, and is famous now for having no talent.

Time will tell if doing the show was worth the money.  She appears to be even more deflated now, so maybe it wasn’t.  The thought of the Douchelord taking pleasure in her leaving, is enough to put me over the edge.  I wish her luck, and suggest that before her new shows, she get some smiling lessons.

Nadya Suleman, “Octomom”, was on Oprah yesterday, and again I found myself crying.  I feel just horrible for this woman, as her life seems to be driven by desperation.  She clearly loves her children, but is in way over her head, and comes across as more defeated than happy.

The Oprah show spent 24 hours in her house, and I was exhausted just watching.  Again, I can think back to when my son was a baby, and not sleeping, and my feeding him in the middle of the night, crying because I was just so very tired.  I had one child and it was hard, so her life is unimaginable to me.

I do not doubt for one second that she loves her children.  She was honest in the interview, and I came away from it really liking her.  Clearly she is doing the best that she can.  While she did not think out her decision to have more children, her decisions now, appear to be made with a smarter mind.

You just got the sense, by reading through the lines of her answers, that there are days, when she has had no sleep, and there is no money, and babies are crying, and the older kids are acting out, that she seriously wishes she had made a different choice for her life.

That is a horrible position to be in.  There are 14 kids, and it’s too much to handle, especially on your own, but what do you do now?  She loves her children, and she is not able to give them back, and won’t give them away, so she is stuck in a life that is draining, with no relief in sight.

I found Nadya to be articulate, charming, and tragic.  For the first time, I not only liked her, but I wanted to hug her.  She has had a lot of opportunities to whore out herself, and her kids, for money.  Her choices, although not always smart, appear to be in the best interest of her kids.

Kate is exhausted with her 8 kids, and Nadya is sleepwalking with her 14.  In comparison, I am able to view my life, and be proud of the decisions I’ve made.  No matter what these women choose to share with the masses about their lives, we will never understand what it is like to walk in their shoes.

I love my child. When I was younger, I always thought I would have a lot of kids.  Until recently, I had hoped I would have another one.  This morning, I went into the room of my one, gorgeous, smart, funny, charming and perfect sleeping son’s room to wake him up for school, I cried again.

Being a mother is the greatest joy of my life.  Through all the ups and downs, obstacles and tests, stress and drama, tears and frustration, that come with being a single parent, I would not change a thing. I am blessed, and having one child is enough to fill my heart with love forever.

To Kate and Nadya, I wish you, and all of your children, the best.  No matter what people think about you, and regardless of what I have written about you, you have my respect.  I don’t know how good of a job you are doing raising your kids, I do know however, that you’re doing the best you can.

We must trust our gut that we are doing a good job as parents.  I remember in my own childhood, thinking my mother was the greatest person on the planet one minute, and others when I thought she was insane.  How will my son look back at his childhood and me?  I am keeping the faith.

April 20, 2010 | 12:24 am

Dancing With The Stars:  Kiss Kate…..Goodbye

Posted by Ilana Angel

Why do I watch this show?  I have not figured it out yet, so if anyone else does, please let me know.  Not only do I watch it, for no apparent reason, I love it.  We’re down to 8 contestants, and it’s impossible to know who will stay, and who will go.

Brooke Burke:  Finally!  A dress that shows off her fabulous body, without making her chest appear to be lopsided.  She looked really beautiful last night, and if she can just stop slouching, she will be golden.

Niecy Nash:  Bless her for trying.  How can you not love her?  She is really funny, and the only one who appears to honestly be having a good time.  She takes the dancing seriously, but appreciates that it’s a reality competition show, and is not pretending to be something she is not.  She is not going to win, but I want her to stay.

Chad Ochocinco: Chad and Cheryl need to get a room.  In fact, it’s probably because they got a room, that they are losing focus.  Seriously, this man is beautiful, and Cheryl has fallen for him, and she is getting stressed out, because he is clearly going home soon, and the romance will fade.  If they could channel intimacy, instead of sex appeal, they would have a better shot.

Erin Andrews: I think the “clever” banter that Erin and Max exchange, is forced and fake.  It was entertaining in the beginning, when it was natural, but now it’s manufactured, and not that cute.  She is a good dancer, and I must admit that tonight she was almost likeable, but I don’t know if she will stay around.

Jake Pavelka: I’m hot and cold on Jake. Some weeks he has the best personality, and is an okay dancer.  Other times, he appears to have no personality, but is a brilliant dancer.  He was great this week, doing his best Tom Cruise impersonation.  I don’t imagine he will be around much longer, but either way, whatever Jake we get, there is something entertaining to watch.

Pamela Anderson:  I think she is fabulous, but for some reason her personality is coming across poorly.  She is a great dancer, she is beautiful, and fun to watch.  She just seems miserable, and comes across as negative, self centered, and uninterested.  Such a shame, because when given an opportunity to have America love her, she is not able to do it.  Oh well.

Kate Gosselin:  Oh.  My.  God.  Let’s not even talk about the dancing, because in the end it does not matter.  When asked what was going on with her this week, she whined, again.  Poor Kate has such a hard life.  Then, barely hiding her misery, said her kids visited her in Los Angeles.  She was not even excited.  Even with all that, I still think she will stay another week.

Nicole Scherzinger:  She is going to be in the finals.  This girl can dance, is beyond beautiful, and has a body that men admire and women covet.  She is not going home.  She is the guarantee, that if we watch, we are going to see at least one fabulous performance.  Her only problem may be that everyone assumes she will make it to the end, so they don’t vote for her.

Evan Lysacek:  He is brilliant.  Love the dancing, love the personality, love it all.  The problem is that he is a bit boring.  A great dancer to be sure, but no risks are taken.  He is very technical, which is what makes him a great skater, but it’s like we are watching a professional dancing pair, not a celebrity who is willing to push it to the limit, like Nicole does.

You never know what will happen with the votes, and anyone could go home.  If you are basing it on dancing, then it’s time for Kate to go.  If you are basing it on least appealing personality, then it’s time for Kate to go.  If you are basing it on being able to stomach watching it anymore, then it’s time for Kate to go.  To Kate, might I suggest you cross your fingers, and keep the faith.

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April 19, 2010 | 10:23 am

The Ex, The Country Music Awards & Lady Antebellum

Posted by Ilana Angel

My ex-boyfriend called me this weekend.  We have not spoken for several months, and getting a call from him was a surprise.  We dated for over a year, and I can say with all honesty, that I have never loved a man more than I loved him.  He was not only my boyfriend, but he was my best friend.

I wanted to marry him, and when we broke up, I thought we would be able to remain friends, and grow old together in a different way.  I suppose that’s silly, and unrealistic, but having him in my life, was more important than the type of relationship we had.  I truly thought we could do it.

We had an insanely close bond.  I have never understood anyone on the level that I understood him, and never had anyone who made my life make sense like he did.  He was smart, kind, funny, and wise.  When we broke up I was devastated, and even now, a year later, I don’t understand what happened.

It’s hard to learn how to manage your life, and live in general, when the person who is so involved is suddenly gone.  I don’t know how he dealt with the loss, but for me, I focused on Keeping The Faith.  This blog, which has become so important to me, was born out the heartache of losing my friend.

He called to say hello and check in.  When I heard his voice, I was not sure who it was for a second.  When he said it was him, everything froze.  I stopped breathing for a minute and thought I might pass out.  I have never wanted to hang up the phone so badly, and started crying.

It took about 10 seconds for us to fall back into our friendship, and we spoke for about 20 minutes.  It was really great to talk to him, and I am grateful that he called.  There is a large part of my mind that knows we will never be friends again, and a small part of my heart, that prays for it everyday.

I was fine after he called.  I had a moment of sadness, then quickly recovered.  I thought about it for a second, tucked it away, and had a great weekend.  I hung out with friends, worked out, went to a party, had a date, and all was good.  Until last night, when I made a horrible decision.

I turned on the television to watch Celebrity Apprentice, and my TV was set to CBS, where they were airing The Academy of Country Music Awards.  I got sucked in, and before I knew it, I was getting caught up in the music, and could not turn it off.  By the time it was over, I was crying again.

Granted, this man crushed me in a way that I am not sure I will over recover from, but he also changed my life in profound ways, and the blog was born out of that loss.  Last night, as I sat on my couch listening to country music, it occurred to me that maybe my destiny is to be a country music lyricist!

I’m listening to the songs about trucks, girls, love, hate, getting drunk, finding love, and losing love.  As I listened to it all, I realized that our love affair, and the brutal crash that came when it ended, are the things that can inspire country music gold.

I listened to Lady Antebellum’s “Need You Now” twenty times.  It made me laugh, cry and think.  I listened to “Change”, by Taylor Swift, and I remembered everything he had ever said to me.  Country music is not what I thought it was.  It touches your heart, because it comes from the heart.

I’m going to expand my horizons.  In addition to writing Keeping The Faith, I might have a couple of killer country music hits buried just beneath the surface of my broken heart.  I have a newfound appreciation for the genre of country music, and my iPod has a new playlist.

To my friend, thank you for calling.  I wrote last week asking Tennyson’s famous question, is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?  I answered that I did not think it was.  Losing love is too painful, and I just don’t think it is worth going through.

Your call changed my mind.  Time has healed my broken heart.  Hearing your voice, listening to your laugh, finishing each other sentences, was great.  I love you my friend.  I feel blessed to have loved you, and grateful to have been loved by you.  I wish you well.  I hope you are happy.  I hope you know you will not get any residuals from my chart topping country music career. 

It turns out a repaired heart is just as capable of giving and receiving love, as one that has never been broken.  I’m waiting for Lady Antebellum to call so I can deliver my chart-topping hit.  To my friend, my very best friend, thanks for calling.  To everyone who is healing a heart, keep the faith.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB7T3lJ3dZ4

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April 16, 2010 | 11:09 am

Kate Gosselin Needs a Hug, a Cry, Matzo Ball Soup & a Kick in the Ass

Posted by Ilana Angel

I am sick and tired of watching Kate Gosselin be miserable on Dancing With The Stars.  I wanted so much to like her on this show.  She is fascinating, has beautiful kids, and after the past year, I wanted something good to happen for her.  In the end DWTS is the last place she should be.

That said, she is there, and so we need to help her.  It’s not too late to turn it all around Kate.  You are doing the best you can, and we get it.  You need to be happy though Sweetie.  I am sure you are sad, but it is translating into miserable on television, and that is not helping you.

I’ve had a change of heart about you Kate.  I have been, while on a completely different level, where you are.  I got divorced when my son was a baby and it was hard.  I remember when my ex-husband started dating, which was about 5 minutes after I left, and it was crushing.

It takes time to get over the loss of a marriage, and you have not allowed yourself to do that.  You jumped into the enormous challenge of making money, to support your family.  I understand your choices, and support them.  However, you can’t take care of your kids, if you don’t take care of yourself.

You need a hug.  Not from your agent, or publicist, or anyone who is getting paid because of you.  You need a friend to hug you.  You need to feel supported and loved.  Allow yourself to cry.  Don’t cry about what you’re going through, or what you have to overcome.  Cry for what you’ve lost.

Take a moment to grieve.  There are millions of women who have been where you are Kate.  We feel for you.  We are all sending you hugs, and support.  All you need to do is find someone to hug you, with no agenda, or obligation.  We will send our hugs to you, through that person, and you will feel the love.

Crying will set you free.  Don’t cry in front of the camera.  Don’t cry in front of your kids.  Crawl into bed, with a bottle of wine, and a pint of ice cream, and just cry.  Watch Bridget Jone’s Diary, both one and two, eat your ice cream, have a drink, cry like a baby, and go to sleep.

When you wake up, leave all your tears behind, and put all your energy into dancing.  You are stiff and scared.  Maybe it’s hard for you because you know we are all judging you.  It would make anyone nervous. The thing is, when you forget about all of us, and dance for only your kids, you will get better.

People are keeping you on DWTS for a reason.  We want you to do well, and we want to like you.  Have a bowl of matzo ball soup.  It will make you feel better.  There is something about chicken soup, that will simply ease your soul.  I can’t explain it, so you’ll just have to trust that it will help.

After you have gotten a hug, had a good cry, and enjoyed the magical Jewish potion that is matzo ball soup, turn around so I can kick you in the ass.  Listen to me Kate Gosselin, regardless of the crap that people say about you, or blog about you, myself included, none of it matters.

You are strong.  You have eight delicious and divine children who love you.  Your marriage ended, the whole world got to see it happen, and that’s a drag.  You have been dealt a horrible deck of cards.  You ex-husband is a Douchelord, and regardless of why your marriage ended, he has been unkind.

Pick yourself up, and make a great life for your kids, and yourself.  Every time something good happens for you, it happens for every woman who has ever had her heart broken by a man she loved.  It’s all rather dramatic I suppose, but who cares?  They can label us all as bitter, divorced hags, and that’s okay.

I have been divorced for 13 years, but there is still a small part of me, that resents the hell out of my ex-husband for moving on so quickly, while I was left to care for our child on my own.  I imagine that all divorced moms have that feeling on some level.

I have been unkind to you in this blog.  I don’t take back what I’ve said, because when I said it, it was my truth.  What I’m saying now, is that I get it.  I am viewing you through the eyes of a single mother, not those of a fan of Dancing With The Stars.

Smile Kate.  Be your funny, charming self.  Fix this.  Ingratiate the American public to you, and it won’t matter that you are not the best dancer, it will only matter that you are there, and trying.  Know that you are making your kids proud.  Trust yourself.  I wish you well, and advise you, above all else, to keep the faith.

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April 15, 2010 | 2:57 pm

Larry King, Melissa Etheridge, and Mel Gibson Head to Splitsville

Posted by Ilana Angel

They say celebrity news happens in three’s, and it was certainly true today.  Larry King, Mel Gibson and Melissa Etheridge have all announced that they are splitting with their spouse/partner/baby mamma.  They all have children, and regardless of what you think of them all, it’s a sad situation.

Larry King has been married 8 times.  Word on the street, and by the street, of course I mean TMZ, is that he does not have a pre-nup.  Mr. King’s net worth is estimated to be around 144 million dollars. That decision is going to really hurt Larry.  Your wallet, and lawyers, are crying right now.

Larry and his wife, Shawn Southwick King, have been married for 13 years and in California, she will get half of what he earned while they were married.  Wowzer!  The question becomes, is it worth spending 13 years with a man who is 400 years old, for a 40 million dollar pay out?

I’m not sure I could do it.  Granted, he is charming, and smart, but let’s get real, he is an old man.  He was an old man when she married him.  They have 2 young sons and a divorce is always sad, but this one was clearly just a matter of time.  After 8 failures, he is clearly just not that good at marriage.

Rumor has it that Larry had an affair with Shawn’s sister Shannon.  That is a Lifetime made for TV movie, just waiting to be written.  Larry filed in the morning, and Shawn filed herself soon after.  This one could get messy, and by could, of course I mean let the games begin.

Rock Star Melissa Etheridge, and her partner, “actress” Tammy Lynn Michaels Etheridge, announced today that they are also separating.  They released a statement that requested, “consideration and respect for our family as we go through this difficult period.”

Married in 2003, they have twins who were born in 2006.  Melissa has two kids from a previous relationship.  In 2004 she battled and beat breast cancer.  I love Melissa Etheridge.  I think she lives her life out loud, and I respect, and admire that.

I wish Melissa, Tammy, and all the kids well, as they go through this.  No matter what you think about gay marriage, the end of a relationship, particularly when there are children involved, is heartbreaking.  I imagine there will be a heartfelt, and spectacular album from Etheridge in the future.

Hollywood’s great train wreck conductor, Mel Gibson, also announced that he is splitting with his girlfriend, Oksana Grigorieva, just five months after she gave birth to his eighth child, Lucia. Is it just me, or does this girl not look exactly like the Octomom?

The rumor mill is saying that they simply “drifted apart”.  I don’t think it’s a coincidence that there is a large age difference between all three of these couples.  At some point, a span of over 10 years is going to come into play within a relationship.

Relationships are hard.  Marriage is even harder.  I hear every day about people who are ending their relationships, and whether they are in the public eye, or neighbors up the street, it’s very sad.  Heartbreaking when there are children involved

Even with all the failures, I hope to be married again.  There is no rush, and it may never happen, but that does not mean I don’t want it, hope for it, and on some level, plan for it.  To everyone who is ending a relationship, and for those, who like me,  are looking for one, keep the faith.

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April 15, 2010 | 8:54 am

Change My Mind Ryan Seacrest

Posted by Ilana Angel

I wrote an honest, funny, yet somewhat snarky blog, about Ryan Seacrest yesterday, and boy did I get some feedback.  Some people wrote to defend Mr. Seacrest, but overall, people agreed with my take.

I asked the question:  What is the appeal of Ryan Seacrest?  No one could tell me.  In fact, nobody even tried to answer the question.  It would appear that there is no explanation, as to why this man is so successful.

One person accused me of being harsh, a hater, a homophobe, and just plain mean.  Luckily, I live in America, and am allowed to not only have an opinion, but also voice it.

Ryan, perhaps I owe you, and your fan (s), an explanation.  My decision to blog about you at all, came from the “joke” you made about Brian Dunkleman on Tuesday night.  Was that really necessary Ryan?

American Idol was a huge success from the moment it aired.  The hit it became that first year, can be attributed to Brian as much as it is to you.  Regardless of why he was dumped, that joke made you look like an ass Ryan.

I happen to think you suck on television.  It’s just my opinion.  That said, you are brilliant at other things.  Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution, is not only fascinating to watch, but will change America in a profound way.

I am also hooked on Keeping Up With The Kardashians.  That I have any interest at all, in watching a group of girls, who are famous for having a beautiful sister, is a tribute to you and your producing mind.

I also believe you are brilliant on the radio.  I listen to American Top 40, listen to you when I drive my kid to school, and think Ryan’s Roses is perfection.  I get you on the radio Sweetie, it’s you on television that I struggle with.

You’re mean on American Idol Ryan.  You weren’t in the beginning, but you are now.  Not only are you mean, but you are not funny, rude, obnoxious, and full of yourself.  Again, just my opinion.

As for the whole sexuality thing, it’s none of my business, and I apologize if it offended anyone.  You are free to do whatever you want, and love whomever you want.  Just like all of America, Ricky Martin included.

Let’s have lunch Ryan.  We can talk about your career, American Idol, your dating life, your mom, your clothes, your hair, your teeth, the Kardashian clan, and school lunches.  I dare you.

I’m curious to hear your take on the Dunkleman joke, and how you feel about bloggers, who have never met you, sharing their opinions, which are based on television and gossip, not first hand knowledge of you.

It will be fun.  I’m harmless.  You can bring your “people”.  Maybe I’m wrong about you.  But if I am, you are the only person on the planet who can change my mind.  Care to give it a try?

You have been blogging gold for the past couple of days Ryan.  I’m here, as blogger, who has been critical of you, to invite you to talk.  Let’s clear up all the gossip, and have a chat.  Don’t be scared, just keep the faith.
 

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April 14, 2010 | 4:01 pm

Can anyone explain the appeal of Ryan Seacrest?

Posted by Ilana Angel

I don’t know Ryan Seacrest.  Have never met him, or even seen him around town.  My knowledge of him, and perception of who he is, is based on what I see on the television, or hear on the radio.  Can anyone explain what the appeal is here?  This man may have been charming in the beginning of his American Idol days, but there is no charm now.

I think he is unappealing.  His over processed hair, over whitened teeth, and over the top denial of his sexual orientation, is all unattractive.  He seems to think he is funny.  Not only is he not funny, but he is mean, and offensive.  He loves his own voice, and laughs at his own jokes.  The problem is, because he is not funny, he appears to laugh for no reason.

Ryan is paid an obscene amount of money to host American Idol.  It’s fascinating because he is the main reason that this show is hard to watch.  He thinks he is a judge, and that his opinion has value.  It does not.  I’m barely able to muster up the strength to care about what Ellen says, let alone Ryan, who is not there to have an opinion.

With Simon leaving the show, it is going to be hard to stay tuned.  If they think Ryan is the reason we watch, then whoever cut that deal needs to go.  We watch the show in spite of Ryan Seacrest, not because of him.  The magic that was American Idol is gone, and no matter how much they pay Ryan, or get new judges, they will never get it back.

American Idol should call it a day, and simply fade away.  The show will not be worth watching without Simon.  They are overstaying their welcome, and it’s time to go.  In the interest of everyone, I think pulling the plug and ending it quickly, will be better than losing Simon, and having a slow and painful death that is dragged out.

You’ll be fine Ryan.  You have about 16 other jobs that will keep you busy.  You can spend your time tanning, getting your teeth whitened, and decorating the closet that you live in.  Stay behind the camera, where you belong my darling.  I wish you the best of luck with your jobs, and hope you find love with someone other than yourself.  Seacrest OUT!

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April 14, 2010 | 11:12 am

If only our choices came with a guarantee

Posted by Ilana Angel

I am blessed.  I get to be the mother to my fantastic child.  He is a very special boy.  He is smart, funny, kind, gentle, caring, compassionate, and one of the few people who can make me laugh out loud until my stomach hurts.  This young man has changed my life, and he will change the world one day. 

I am blessed.  I have a mother who inspires me, a brother who lifts me up, and sisters who shape my heart.  It’s a crazy family to be sure, but I love them.  I miss my father every day, and feel fortunate to have so many great memories of him in my mind.  I love them all.

I am blessed.  I have friends who mean everything to me.  I think when your family lives far away, you embrace friendships in a different way.  My friends are like family.  After 18 years in Los Angeles, I have surrounded myself with people that I love and trust.

This morning my life got complicated.  I am forced to look at things differently, and make some decisions that are difficult.  It’s not the end of the world, and no one is going to die, but it’s unnerving when choices need to be made, that you are not prepared to make.

If only there was a way to know if the choices I make, are right.  I wish I could know what the repercussions of my decisions are.  I want a guarantee!  I want someone to tell me it’s going to be okay.  I’m tough, but some days it’s takes all my strength to keep the faith.

At the end of the day, it will all be fine.  I believe things will work out as they are supposed to, and that my choices will ultimately be proven to be the right ones.  Time will tell.  I will find the strength.  I will remain hopeful.  I will think positive.  I will keep the faith.

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