Posted by Ilana Angel
If someone had told me that one day I would look forward to Monday nights, so I could snuggle up on the couch, and watch two hours of ballroom dancing, I would tell them they were crazy. Dancing With The Stars is the number one show in America, and for good reason.
This show is fun to watch. It is old fashioned, family television that is never racy or offensive, although some of the ladies outfits would work very nicely on a pole. It is exciting to watch some of the couples get better each week, while others don’t improve at all, and a few are non-stop train wrecks.
Evan Lysacek: He is charming, and it turns out quite funny. I like him a little more each week, and think he is a good dancer. He’s not quite as graceful without his skates, but he’ll get there by the end. With his manners, and demeanor, he reminds me of Jimmy Stewart a little bit.
Buzz Aldrin: He’s not going to win, and this week he crashed and burned, with a judge’s score of 13. That said, he is terrific. He is 80 years old, and in his costume today, he was very handsome. There are a lot of people who are not going to win, so I think he should stay for as long as possible. Bravo Buzz.
Jake Pavelka: He is a really great dancer. Who knew? The thing that will eventually send him home however, is not his dancing, but the little video packages they make of him. This week he stormed off from a practice like a baby. His dramatic outbursts were good on The Bachelor, but not so much here. Maybe he needs Chris Harrison to come and calm him down.
Niecy Nash: I started the season not digging her. I find her annoying on The Insider, so I was not a fan going in. I’ve completely changes my mind because she is fabulous, and improving each week. I hope the plea for same sex marriage does not cost her votes in the Bible belt. I’m voting for her, and same sex marriage.
Chad Ochocinco: Very good this week. It was odd to me however, that he went to the audience to hug George Lopez, but did not go hug his kids, who were giving him a standing ovation. Interesting call. I can take him, or leave him. He is a tall, delicious glass of chocolate milk, but he can leave anytime.
Pamela Anderson: The only person I loved more than Pam tonight, was Charro. Seriously, why is this woman not on television all the time? She is fabulous, and looks exactly the same as she did on The Love Boat, a million years ago. I think ABC should bring back The Love Boat!
Aiden Turner: Please send this man home America. To have him stay would just be wrong. He cannot dance, he used his baby for votes, and he is painful to watch. We didn’t know who he was before he got on this show, and we will not remember him when he is gone. Bye Bye.
Erin Andrews: I feel bad for her that she is struggling with so much outside pressure. To be able to pull off a dance, while so stressed and frightened, is impressive. That said, her and Max have no chemistry, and she needs to go home. I feel bad for Max that he got a dud, but it’s time to wrap it up. I was surprised Tom did not ask her how she was holding up.
Kate Gosselin: Oh. My. God. Stop crying, and go home to your kids. I am so over you, and your whining. It’s annoying, and desperate. I don’t get why she was selected to be on the show, and I don’t get why she is still there. All this show is doing for her, is showing us why she is alone. Go home Kate.
Nicole Scherzinger: She is gorgeous. Her dancing is beautiful. Her personality however, is not that cute. She is whiny when she gets frustrated. Come on Nicole, you are a Pussycat Doll, and we know you are a great dancer, so your crying over not getting the quick step, does not fly.
Another great week of dancing, and I’m hoping that Erin or Kate go home. Shannen getting the boot last week was a shocker, so there is no telling what will happen. The only guarantee is that I will be back on my couch in a week, dancing with the stars. I want Pam to stay, so I’m keeping the faith.
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11.28.13 at 7:59 am | Think. Laugh. Cry. (383)
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April 5, 2010 | 9:19 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
It was bound to happen. If you don’t allow yourself to get discouraged, think positive, take it all with a grain of salt, and remember to laugh, even when you want to cry, it will happen. Eventually, you are going to have a good date. If you’re lucky, he thinks it was a good date too.
Last night I had a very nice date. I went out with a charming, funny, and attractive man. We’ll call him “Ari”. He made me laugh, kept me on my toes, and made my heart flutter a little bit. It’s been a while since I went on a date with someone I wanted to have a second date with.
I saw his profile on Match.com and sent him an email. I thought he was cute, and his profile was hilarious. He was bold, cocky, and uncensored, which I like. According to his profile however, I was not the type of girl he was looking for. Whatever.
I wrote him anyway, because if nothing else, I wanted him to know that I appreciated how he wrote his profile. The problem with meeting people online, is that they often write what they think people want to read, not what is true. Ari wrote honestly, and I could tell, so it was great.
I wrote a short note that said I thought he was hilarious, enjoyed his profile, and wished him well with his search. He wrote back which was very nice. We sent a few emails back and forth, and then spoke on the phone. We talked for about an hour, and decided we would meet. He was willing to think outside of his own parameters, which I give him credit for.
Here’s the thing, I’m not a big pre-dater. It always ends in disappointment, as you have read here quite a few times. I like to limit my pre-dating to a couple of emails, a phone call, and then let’s meet. Kudos to Ari, because he was the same way, and made things happen quickly.
He got in touch Sunday night at 6, we made plans to meet at 8. I left it up to him, and he opted to meet for dinner. I don’t know about other women, but I think if a man is willing to have dinner on a first date, without having seen you, it’s classy and respectful. It’s also flattering.
We are grown ups. If you can talk to someone on the phone for an hour, and feel a connection of some kind, then having dinner is nice. It sends a completely different message from meeting at Starbucks, for a 30 minute interview date. It has promise.
Ari lives around 30 minutes away from me, but made plans to have dinner by my house. It was raining, and I offered to meet him part way, but he insisted on coming to my neighborhood. It’s a little thing, but so nice. He was a gentleman, and I had a crush on him before we even met.
I got to the restaurant a couple of minutes before him, and waited at the bar. He walked in, and let me just say: yummy, yummy, ding dong, This is an attractive man, and he smelled so good, that when he hugged me, I inhaled deeply and didn’t want to let go. I almost licked him.
In fact, there was a couple eating dinner in the booth next to us. When they got up to leave, the lady came over and said she was sorry to interrupt, but he smelled so good, she needed to know what he was wearing. Hilarious. Seriously, if you got the slightest whiff, you wanted to kiss him.
We had a lovely dinner, and talked about a lot of things. It was an open and educational discussion. It was also very respectful, and a little racy. This is a wonderful man. He is smart, articulate, funny and sincere. He also loves his kids, which I think is the greatest thing of all, and something I respect.
You all know me, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I’m open and honest with my dating life. I am looking to meet a special man, and I’m taking you all on the journey with me. After a series of not so great dates, I had a wonderful time last night, and it has left me feeling hopeful.
Ari, if you’re reading, I think you are a strong, smart, and inherently good man. I enjoyed our time together. Thank you for schlepping in the rain, for a lovely dinner, for being a gentleman, and for smelling so good. I could be wrong of course, and you could be none of those things, but I don’t think so.
Before I go today, I want to update you on my date with “Ricky Martin”. I went on a date last week with a man who I was convinced was gay, even if he didn’t know it yet. He is 45, divorced with 3 kids, and gay. I wrote a blog about my date with “Ricky”.
Ricky and I had a great evening together, and I think we will be friends for a very long time. Should he ever decide to come out of the closet, and live his truth, I will support him 100%. The day after our date, and after he read my blog, Ricky sent me beautiful flowers.
This is the note that came with the bouquet: “Ilana, You are great, and our date was the best I’ve ever had. The blog was funny! It’s interesting how secrets to some, are obvious statements to others. A door was opened, so steps can be taken. Thank you.”
Maybe it was Ricky Martin who inspired him to be his true self. Maybe it was having me point out the obvious, in a funny and non-threatening way, that inspired him. Maybe it was just his time to get real. Whatever it was, I’m very proud to have been any part of someone setting himself free.
I don’t know if Ari will call. Sometimes you can think you had a great date, but never hear from them again. What I do know is this: Ricky will be fine, good dates are possible, and decent men are out there. Will Ari call? I’m keeping the faith.
April 4, 2010 | 1:26 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Tiger Woods is a pig. There is no denying it. He slept with countless women, while he was married, and put the health of his wife and children at risk by engaging in unprotected sex. Ok. We’ve all read about it, we’ve all got an opinion about it, and we will all be watching to see what happens. It’s time now to ask the bigger question: Who cares?
Tiger Woods is playing in The Masters this week and held a press conference today. It marks the first live televised interview with him since his car crash, and the story broke about his infidelity. He was sporting a goatee, seemed calm and friendly. He was his old charming self.
There were 200 media outlets present. We’re told there were no restrictions on their questions, and they came out swinging. They asked about the car accident, and the mess his life has become since that night. While everyone has been waiting for an opportunity to talk to him, I think he did a disservice to the game of golf by opening the mikes at Augusta.
While I’m not a big golfer, I’ve played the game, respect the talent it takes to be good, and I will watch the final round of a tournament on television, because it’s exciting. Even a minor fan like me, knows that The Masters is the Holy Grail, and Augusta is hallowed grown. To bring his tabloid home life to this magical place, is disrespectful.
What I think Mr. Woods has forgotten, is that the only reason we even care about him, is because he is the world’s greatest golfer. Ever. If he were not a good golfer, we would have no idea who he was. He is a god when it comes to this game, and he should have given the game, that has given him so much, a little more respect.
He should have had this type of a press conference away from a tournament, and on his own. It would have allowed the media to separate out his personal life, from the game. The press today went 15 minutes before they asked a question about something other than his personal life, by inquiring about how his knew was.
What’s done is done. This morning Tiger looked good. He is ready to play, and thinks he will win. He said he was blown away by the reception he got from the fans in Augusta, and said he missed the competition. He also said that he “Hopes the players can be left alone to focus on the Masters, not only this week, but going forward as well.”
I hope so too Tiger. I wish you well this week and hope that you recapture your true self out there. I still think you are a pig, and your wife is insane to stay with you, but at the end of the day, who cares? Be kind to yourself, love your wife, and protect your children. Play great golf, don’t worry about what people think of you, and keep the faith.
April 2, 2010 | 8:12 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
There was no real surprise this week, when Ricky Martin came out of the closet, and declared that he was a gay man. Did he think we did not know? Was he honestly expecting us to be shocked? Come on Ricky. We all knew you were gay Sweetie, and have been waiting years for you to come out, and own it.
In terms of being gay, what really was a complete and total surprise, is that my date yesterday, was absolutely gay, and unable to admit it. I went out last night, in a super cute outfit, with fabulous hair, and my date was gay. A Jewish, gorgeous, smart, funny, charming, and living in the closet, gay man.
How did I know my date was gay? The first clue, was when he noticed my slight accent Canadian accent, and he asked me what my favorite Celine Dion song was. Before I could answer, he let me know his was a tie between Because You Loved Me, and My Heart Will Go On. Both of which he sang a few bars of.
I thought perhaps he was kidding, because a lot of people make fun of my love of Celine, and blame my musical taste on being Canadian. So, I brought up hockey, thinking he would man up, and we’d be in business. I asked what team he supports, and he responded that he prefers figure skating, and loves Johnny Weir.
That lead us into a lively ten minutes conversation about Dancing With The Stars, and what the chances were that Evan Lysacek could win. We then covered Project Runway, Shear Genius and The Real Housewives. For a minute I convinced myself that he was not gay, but instead, just perfect for me. A man who will not complain about watching reality television!
The best part was when I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I came back, he got up, and placed his hand on my back to guide me into the booth. First of all, when a man places his hand on your back, to guide you to your seat, through a door, or to your table, it is very sexy.
I have always thought it is romantic, so when he did it, I thought for sure I was wrong, and he was not gay. Then it happened. His hand is on my back, and I have long hair, so when he places his hand on me, he touches my hair. Not just touches it, but strokes it.
A man playing with my hair is enough to put me over the edge. I will profess my love for him, if he will play with my hair. I thought he was flirting by playing with my hair, but then it happened. He asked me what conditioner I used, and we then spent twenty minutes discussing hair products.
My date was gay. Fabulous, and gay. He was smitten of course, because that’s how I roll. I attract, and am attracted to, gay men. There are many gay men in my life who I would marry. You know who you are. (Andy, Patrick, Scott, Paul, Howard, Peter) This list could go on, and on.
He said he had a wonderful time, and asked me out for a second date. So cute. I told him I thought he was fabulous, had a wonderful time, but it was not a love connection for me. He said he understood, hoped we could be friends, gave me a wonderful hug, and asked if I wanted to see a movie this weekend, as friends.
Here’s the nail in the coffin. I told him I would love to see a movie, and he suggested we see “The Last Song”, which he has been dying to see. There you have it. I had a great date last night, with a gay man. God bless him. I hope he figures it out, because he will be a terrific boyfriend to a very lucky man. I hope he sets himself free.
I will keep trying to meet a good man. There is one out there for me. To Ricky Martin, you did good. Finally. If you want to meet a great Jewish man, I met one who is available, so let me know. I hope all of us who are looking, will meet someone great, so I will be keeping the faith.
April 1, 2010 | 12:39 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
George Clooney tracked me down through the Jewish Journal, and called this morning. He let me know that he loves me, thinks I am stunning, reads my blog everyday, and wants to marry me. He is converting to Judaism, having my name tattooed on his chest, and naming his home in Italy, Villa Ilana.
Andy Cohen called today to let me know that he is not gay. He has finally come to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with me, and wants to make me a real housewife of New York City, by marrying me. He is finally free, and wants to change his last name to Angel when we get married.
JDate is now implementing a screening process for their members. They will check to make sure you are really divorced, and not just separated. They will personally measure you, so that if you are 5’6” you can’t list your height as 5’10”. They now require all members to pass a lie detector test.
Bethany Frankel is mortified that she did not invite Jill Zarin to her wedding last weekend. She feels so bad about it, she is naming her baby Jill. Even without knowing the sex of the baby, she is going to call him/her Jill. She is going to have Jill photoshopped into her wedding photos and video to ease her guilt.
The View will begin next season with a 6th co-host. ME! Barbara Walters read my blog, and felt it was time to have another perspective on the show, so she asked me to be a co-host. I will sit between Whoopi and Joy, and there are no restrictions on what I am able to say.
Wendy Williams has hired me to be a part of her show and website. I will write for her website, and Skype into the show once a week to chat about what is going on in Hollywood. She is setting me up with her hot Jewish lawyer, and will be maid of honor at my wedding.
Playboy has asked me pose for their June issue, and appear on the cover. They think it’s time for a woman with real curves, and a sexy Jewishness, to be a bunny. They will do an interview to talk about my marriage, and I will announce who it is that I am marrying, from all my offers.
Jesse James has entered into rehab for sex addiction. In an attempt to show the world he is really sorry, he is having the following statement tattooed on his face: I am a lying, cheating pig who sleeps with skanky whores and Sandra is a saint who had no choice but to dump my ass.
Sarah Palin has asked me to be a part of her reality television show about Alaska. I will be the funny girlfriend who is visiting from the big city. Mayhem will ensue as I refuse to eat a moose, search Wasilla for a Jewish man, and break the propellers on all helicopters in the area.
Happy April Fools Day! It’s a crazy day full of pranks and jokes. Do not believe everything you read, and don’t online date today, because everyone can lie, and use April Fools as an out, so watch your back. Love your kids, help a stranger, laugh, think positive, and keep the faith.
April 1, 2010 | 8:29 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
Living in Los Angeles, I see celebrities around town a lot. Even after almost 20 years, I still get a little thrill when I recognize someone famous. When I spot one, I leave them alone, and allow them to roam freely among us. I think part of the reason I don’t approach people I am a fan of, is because I worry they will be unkind, and my image of them will be ruined.
Yesterday I was invited to spend some time with talk show host Wendy Williams. In order to get what a big deal this was, you need to understand what she means to me. I am a writer who shares my truth. People can agree with me, or not, but they can never question my sincerity. That is really important to me, and something that I share with Wendy Williams.
Ms. Williams has had a long, and successful career. She became famous for saying what was on her mind, without censoring herself. She is honest, and sincere, and is not bullied into straying from her truth, and also calls people out when they lie. I admire her for these traits. She is ballsy, without being bitchy, and that is a great thing.
Sometimes when I write, I worry that people will misunderstand me, or think badly about me, and I wonder if I should change the subject, or my opinion. I think about Wendy Williams, and what she would do, and I know I must not waver from my truth. She makes it okay for me to be true to myself, and not worry about what other people think.
Wendy Williams is an inspiration to me. She is happily married to a great man, has a wonderful son, and while she works and is successful, it is her life away from her job, that she is most proud of, and gives her the most satisfaction. As I begin the second half of my life, and define who I am as a mother, a woman, and a writer, I want to be like Wendy Williams.
I met Ms. Williams at the KTLA studios, where she was filming a segment for the morning show. My son and I were escorted into a small waiting room, where we were introduced to her team of people. If a person can be judged but the company they keep, then Ms. Williams is truly fabulous, because her team was lovely to my boy and me.
When she walked into the room, my heart fluttered for a second. Let me just say, this is a very pretty woman. She is quite tall, and with her fabulous heals, she looks like a super model. She wore a beautiful blue dress, her hair was dark brown, and super long. Her figure is insane. She is thin, yet has all the curves of a woman. I was in awe of my new BFF.
She sat down on the couch with me, held my hand, and we started chatting like we were old friends catching up after not seeing each other for a long time. She is approachable and real, and I have never felt so comfortable with a stranger. We talked about our kids, homework, diet, cooking, shopping, television, and writing.
She did not talk at me, or around me. She spoke with me. My son asked why I didn’t take a recorder, or a pad and pencil, so I could interview her. To be honest, it never even crossed my mind. I was not there to interview talk show host, and radio legend Wendy Williams. I was simply there to visit with my friend, Mrs. Hunter.
Wendy does not disappoint. She was everything I thought she would be, which is everything that you see on her show. She is glamorous and famous, but also real and relatable. We view marriage, children, motherhood, and work, the same way. I felt connected to her in a way that was lovely, but not at all surprising, because we are very similar.
I know it’s her job to be kind and gracious to her fans. I know she has an image, and is watched in a way that a non-celebrity is not. I know someone on her staff probably told her to come and spend 5 minutes with me. I know visiting with me was part of her job. I also know that we became fast friends, and in the end, none of that was true of our visit.
We discussed my writing, my love of reality television, and my encounter with Sarah Palin. Get this, she would love to have Sarah as a guest on her show. Not to discuss politics, abortion, or hunting, but rather, shoes, bags and hair. She was able to see, and actually shared my view, that Sarah is an interesting woman, in ways that have nothing to do with her politics.
I have struggled with the fallout of my blog postings about Sarah Palin. They brought out the best and worst of people, and some of the comments I received were scary. After meeting with Wendy though, I am proud of those pieces, and my chutzpa for writing them. I will be sitting in the front row when Sarah Palin visits The Wendy Williams Show.
I cannot imagine anyone, male, female, Jewish, Catholic, gay, or straight, spending one minute with this woman, and not falling in love with her. She is funny, sassy, and very polite. She is everything that I imagined she would be and more. She is Wendy Williams, talk show goddess, and my friend.
The Wendy Williams Show is entertaining. It’s an hour with your girlfriend, talking about stuff that is interesting to us, in an atmosphere that is welcoming, and homey. There is no race, religion, sexual orientation, or economic lines drawn. It is a place where all we are all people, and nobody is labeled, or judged.
You should tune in. She is a fabulous little Jewish lady, inside a super model African American body, and if you watch, just once, you’ll be hooked. It’s an hour out of your day where you can relax, laugh, and step away from the stresses and challenges of life, and just enjoy yourself. In Los Angeles, she is on FOX Channel 11 at 4:00.
Thank you for a lovely morning Wendy. Being with you was a blessing, and an opportunity to show my son that heroes exist, and dreams come true. You are an inspiration, and a role model to me, and I am a better writer because of you. I hope you enjoy the rest of your visit in Los Angeles. You’ve got my number sister, so don’t be afraid to use it.
I think there are great things in store for The Wendy Williams Show. I also think that I am going to be involved with that success somehow. I’m not sure how exactly, but it’s going to happen. I am going to will it into being. Maybe the next step for The Wendy Williams Show website, is a few words, all about Keeping The Faith.