April 13, 2010 | 6:19 pm

Steven Seagal is Nominated for the Douchelord Club

Posted by Ilana Angel

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A former model is suing Steven Seagal for sexual harassment.  To be more specific, she is accusing him of hiring her to be his “sex toy”.  I don’t know if it’s true, and frankly, I don’t really care.  There are a few things to say though, so if I may…..

If you are going to respond to an ad on Craig’s List for an “assistant”, you need to be prepared to perhaps meet a weirdo.  Just saying.  Granted, the alleged victim is only 23, and even though Craig’s List is what all the kids are using these days, it’s still not the safest place to look for a job.  A sofa, or Lakers tickets?  For sure!  But a job?  Too scary for me.

I want to know why she sat on this for two months, and why she went to a lawyer, not the police.  I am one who tends to side with women in sexual assault cases, unless it is proven that they lied.  That said, this sounds a little fishy to me.  If she were in fear for her life, as she would like us to believe, why wouldn’t she call the police, the second she got away?

According to the lawsuit, the alleged victim reports that Mr. Seagal turned to her and said ‘I’m a family man, and I live with my wife, but she wouldn’t care if you were my lover.’  Red flag little girl.  Get off the plane, turn around and go home.  Perhaps she was overcome by the smell of money, that she lost her good sense for a minute?

The lawsuit says that the young woman decided to ” take a wait and see attitude.”  Which loosely translates to, if I stay with this old fart for a little longer, maybe I can sue him and get enough money to not have to worry about working at all, then get a gig with Playboy as the girl who was attacked by the Above The Law guy.

This poor girl was so scared that she “left behind everything that she owned, including her car keys, her laptop, her clothes and hundreds of dollars worth of makeup.”  Yet she was not so scared that she felt the need to call the police?

We all know that Seagal is creepy.  Look at him.  I believe a woman when she says she was attacked.  All I’m saying is that this one does not add up.  I’m sure it will all come out eventually, with the help of TMZ.  Until then, to the young woman, and to Mr. Seagal, keep the faith.

April 13, 2010 | 9:46 am

DWTS:  I want Kate Gosselin to go home, more than I want to have dinner with George Clooney

Posted by Ilana Angel

It’s Tuesday morning, which means that I am going to give my weekly Dancing With the Starts Recap.  Just when you think there will be nothing interesting to talk about, here comes the train wreck and there is so much to say I can hardly stand it.

Whoever is dressing Brooke Burke, you are putting her in the wrong dresses.  Each week she looks lopsided, with her right boob clearly larger than the left.  It is very distracting and I can’t believe she does not notice, and ask that it be corrected.  Fix your boobs Brooke, not cute.

Erin Andrews is insanely unappealing, and the lack of chemistry between her and Max is staggering.  They were in People magazine this week, they are making the rounds on talk shows, where they say how great working together is.  Whatever.  She is annoying, he does not like her, and I’m not buying it.

Evan Lysacek: He’s going to the finals.  He is a great dancer, and while he loses a bit of his spark when he speaks, he is cute and deserves to be there in the end.  I can’t help but wonder, why is nobody in his life insisting he cut his hair, and get rid of his ridiculous hair cut.

Niecy Nash:  She is cute.  Not a great dancer, never going to be a great dancer, never going to make it to the finals, but who cares.  She is not offensive.  She is middle of the road, and entertaining.  Whenever she goes, it will be her time.  She is okay, and that’s enough.

Aiden Turner:  This man could possibly be the most boring man on the planet. He is handsome, for sure, but has no personality, and is painful to watch.  He needs to go home.  I get that ABC wants to have one of their soap stars each season, but come on. Give us one that has a drop of charisma next time.

Nicole Scherzinger:  This week they stapled a bed sheet onto Nicole and she looked fabulous.  Apart from that being offensive, and just not fair, this chick is not going anywhere.  She’s in the finals, and we all know it.  Her fake interest in what the judges are saying is perfection.

Jake Pavelka:  When he speaks, it’s as if he’s still on The Bachelor.  He talks about elimination as if he were waiting for a rose.  He is white toast.  That said, when you’re presented with so many weird things, sometimes a piece of white toast is perfect.  I like him, he is a great dancer, and he should stay.

Chad Ochocinco:  The sexual energy between Chad and Cheryl Burke is insane.  They look like sex.  He is adorable and beautiful, and I like watching them.  Cheryl has this vibe with all her partners, but is the first time it’s been fun to watch.  They are a hoot, and I hope they stay.

Pamela Anderson: It’s a shame Pam does not get that people are watching her.  She is her own little world, and not giving herself to the audience.  She is so funny and cute, but we are just not seeing that.  She needs to play to the audience more, because she is turning people off with her stand off vibe.  Show America it’s okay to like you Pam.

Kate Gosselin:  SHUT UP AND GO HOME! SHUT UP AND GO HOME! SHUT UP AND GO HOME! SHUT UP AND GO HOME! SHUT UP AND GO HOME! SHUT UP AND GO HOME! SHUT UP AND GO HOME! SHUT UP AND GO HOME! SHUT UP AND GO HOME! SHUT UP AND GO HOME! SERIOUSLY!!!

I love this show, but seriously, Kate Gosselin needs to go home.  Every week that she is on the show, America is going to be less supportive of her getting her kids.  She is painfully unappealing, and needs to realize that the longer she stays, the worse it will be for her later.  Go home Kate.

To put it all into perspective: if I were given the opportunity to have dinner with George Clooney, or have Kate off this show, it would be a really hard decision for me.  I love you George, but she is making my eyes bleed, and I really need her to go home, so I am keeping the faith.

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April 12, 2010 | 2:26 pm

Can Single Women Date With No Expectations?

Posted by Ilana Angel

If I had a dollar for every time my friends and me talked about going on a date with no expectations, I would be a millionaire.  Women like to give that advice to each other.  The problem is, and I am speaking for only myself, it is impossible to date without expectations.

I am romantic.  Every great love affair starts with a date, and every great date, ends with the hope of a great kiss.  I am searching for someone. I am not looking for something, but someone.  I used to think the goal was to get married.  It’s not.  The goal is to share my life with a wonderful man.

My problem with dating is not that I don’t trust men.  It’s more about not trusting myself.  I am responsible for my choices, and I have made some in the past few years, that were not good.  Tennyson wrote: ‘Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.  Really?  I’m not sure I agree.

It’s possible that those who believe this saying to be true, have never really been in love.  It could also depend on how you lost the love.  If someone leaves you, and crushes your heart, then it’s not worth it.  If someone dies, and is taken from you to soon, then it was totally worth it.

The biggest problem with dating is lack of honesty.  We spend so much time assuming to know what the other person is thinking or feeling, that if we just had the courage to ask them, and they had the courage to reply honestly, there would be much happier couples.

While I certainly have hopes and dreams about my dating life, and the man I will meet, I have only one expectation.  I have the same expectation not only with my romantic relationships, but with every single relationship in my life.  Be honest.  I will be honest with you, and I expect you to be honest with me.

I am honest in my writing, and in my business.  I am honest with my friends and my family.  I teach my son to be honest, as it will be the key to his success, and being respected.  Being honest is easy.  If you tell the truth, you never need to worry about what you said coming back to haunt you, because your story will always be the same.

It’s hard to be honest when dating.  There are so many dating experts that will tell you what to do, but ultimately, no matter whose advice you take, what books you read, or whether you follow your heart, at the end of the day, dating sucks ass, and there is nothing you can do to change that.

Let’s talk about last night.  I had another date with “Ari”, and let me just say, I really like him.  He feels very comfortable to me.  He is not like anyone I’ve ever dated before, and so maybe is that is what is so appealing.  I’m not sure what it is exactly, but I like him.

He is smart, which is very attractive.  I like how he thinks.  He is funny and a bit of a smartass.  He challenges me, and makes me a little nervous, which is somehow appealing.  I make fun of his accent, he makes fun of my Hebrew, and we share an ease that comes from time, even though we just met.

I have not been interested in anyone for a long while, so I am second guessing myself.  It’s a horrible feeling.  I am strong and independent, yet he makes me feel all girly.  It’s lovely when a man can make you flutter, and at the same time, it is beyond annoying to a control freak like me.

Do I call, or do I email?  Do I go on other dates, or do I wait and see if there is something here?  Do I take down my profile from online, or leave it there and advertise myself?  Do I sleep with him, or wait until we are in an exclusive relationship?  There are a million questions, and no right answer.

It’s insane that women put them selves through all this.  We had a great date, yet I’m wondering what he thinks about me, when clearly he digs me.  What is hilarious about the whole thing, is that while I am thinking about all of this nonsense, he is thinking about what he will have for lunch.

Ari, if you’re reading, and I know you are, hello.  Thank you for a lovely evening.  I think you are wonderful.  Honestly.  I write a blog about being single, and who I date, so here we are.  Thanks for giving me permission to share our dates with the masses.  You’re a trooper.

I’m a horrible dater Sweetie.  I never now if what I am doing is right or wrong.  I have no idea if you will read this and think I am adorable, or crazy.  It really could go either way.  All I can do is put it all out there, and assure you that I am indeed, both adorable, and crazy.

I am going to a dinner party in honor of my birthday on Friday night.  I would love for you to come with me, and meet some of my friends.  It will be a fun evening, and I imagine it will be just a little bit better if you’re there with me.  While you think that over, I’ll just wait here, and keep the faith.

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April 10, 2010 | 11:32 am

There But For The Grace of God Go I

Posted by Ilana Angel

Yesterday I got off the 101 freeway at Coldwater Canyon.  I was on the exit, waiting to turn north onto Coldwater.  There were two cars in front of me, and a homeless man at the light asking for help.  I got a dollar out of my purse, opened the window, and waited for him to come. 

He stopped at the car in front of me, which was a black Mercedes Benz.  It was a beautiful car, and new, based on the fact that the dealer plates were still in place.  There was a man driving the car, he was smoking, and had his driver side window open.

The homeless man approached the Mercedes to ask for help.  As he got close to the car, the man driving did the unimaginable.  He yelled at the guy to F-off, and screamed at him to not touch his car.  He was yelling so loudly, that he scared the homeless gentleman, who told him he was sorry.

The light turned green and the Benz driving idiot took off, with his parting word to the homeless man of “asshole”, lingering in the air.  It was shocking, and heartbreaking.  If the light had not turned green, I would have gotten out of my car, and said a few choice words myself.

I grabbed my purse, pulled 5 bucks out of my wallet, and inched forward to the man.  People are now honking for me to go, because they are going to miss the green light.  Who cares?  I called out to the man as he had walked back to the corner, humiliated.

He came over, I gave him the money, told him I was sorry for the idiot that took off, and wished him well.  He looked at the money, and very softly, asked me if I wanted some change.  Can you imagine?  The man is concerned I gave him too much money, and asked if I wanted some back.

I told him I wanted him to keep it all, and was sorry I could not help more.  He looked me in the eye, thanked me, and said that God would bless me.  The light is now red, so I’ve got a minute to chat.  I told him that God blesses me every day, and asked what his name was.

“Rick” told me he appreciated the money, and was going to use it to feed his dog, which was on another corner with his wife.  I told him I was happy to help, wished him well, and said I would keep him in my prayers.  As I pulled away, I saw that the car behind me, gave him money.

There but for the grace of God go I.  We do not know what the circumstances were which made this man homeless.  We do not know how long he has been living this way, or what he has done to remedy his current situation.  All we know for sure, is that he is a human being.

There is no need to be unkind.  You don’t have to ever give homeless people money.  You don’t have to be charitable at all.  What is required however, is to not strip away someone’s dignity, because you think you are somehow better than they are.

I am sick and tired of people being mean.  I have lived my life with times of great prosperity, and also lived paycheck to paycheck.  I know how hard it is to struggle to get by, and I am quite certain that going on the street to beg strangers for help, is harder than walking into the bank to cash a paycheck.

It takes no effort to be kind and decent.  A single word can make or ruin a day.  How amazing is it, that we have the power to lift each other up, or knock each other down, with one word.  To abuse that power is senseless.  Again, There but for the grace of God go I.

If you take 10 people, homeless, middle class, and super rich, put them all in the same clothes, and line them up, we are all the same.  Will people ever stop to remember, that in the end, we are all human beings, and must at the very least, try to respect each other?  Who cares?  I do, so I am going to keep the faith.

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April 9, 2010 | 11:52 am

The Mean, Selfish, Manipulative, Immature, Ridiculous, Scary, Real Housewives of New York City

Posted by Ilana Angel

It is becoming increasingly difficult to watch the Real Housewives of New York City.  They are imploding, and while I love a reality television train wreck, this is more like a slow, painful death.  It is uncomfortable to watch, and leaves you embarrassed for them, and for yourself that you watch.

What is fascinating about these ladies, is that they seem to forget that we can see what they are doing.  It is not a live show ladies, and is going to be edited.  Bravo’s job is to give us great television, not paint them in the glow of sunshine.  They truly appear to be oblivious to the cameras, or the manipulation that is reality tv.

Bethany and Ramona are going for a walk.  Bethany wants to talk to Ramona about her fight with Jill.  It’s all a bit anticlimactic really.  We all know Bethany got married a couple of weeks ago, and we know Jill was not invited, so there’s no real drama here.

What is interesting however, is that Bethany is complaining to Ramona that Jill is talking to anyone in New York that will listen, about their falling out, but she won’t shut up about it herself. This entire fight started when Bethany suggested to Jill that she get a hobby.  Might I suggest that they all get a hobby.  Maybe think about what you are going to do when your show is canned.

Ramona decides to dump all over Bethany.  We all know Ramona is crazy, her eyes are buggy, and she appears to be bi-polar.  Even knowing all of that, her attack of Bethany is still shocking.  Ramona tells Bethany that she is a press monger, she thinks Bethany planted all the stories about Jill herself, and is self serving.

Ramona informs Bethany she has no friends, is not normal, and will mess up her relationship with her boyfriend Jason.  I seriously believe Ramona is in need of medical attention.  She is a meddling, mean spirited, unkind, and selfish woman.  I would be scared to be friends with someone like Ramona.

With each scene, I am on another side.  I hear Bethany talk about Jill, and I’m totally on her team.  Then Jill comes on, and I think Bethany is the one to blame for all the strife.  This show has gone from being a guilty pleasure, to work.  At the end of the show you are exhausted, and that is not good television.

Bethany and Ramon have finished with their fight and are now meeting Alex and Simon in Brooklyn.  Just when you think things are calming down, you see that Ramona has actually gone into Brooklyn.  The world as we know it has come to an end.  That Alex and Simon are the go to people for normalcy, is a sign of the apocalypse.

Kelly is proof that aliens live among us.  This chick is a certified whackadoodle.  Seriously.  She is walking around the streets of New York, in her signature inappropriate for her age outfit, wanting to talk to random strangers about fashions trends. 

She then explains to us that the hat she is wearing, which is a knitted ski cap, is trend driven.  Really?  A ski cap is trendy?  Is it also a trend to wear a short black mini skirt, orange Jersey Shore fake tanned legs, AND a ski cap?  You are cutting edge Kelly.  By cutting edge, of course I mean that you have no idea what you are talking about.

She is literally begging people to talk to her.  She is a celebrity whore, and I think she walks around New York City trying to spot people she knows, so we can all see how fancy she is.  Did Bravo put an ad on Craig’s List to find these women?  Kelly is a beautiful girl.  Truly.  She is far more attractive however, when she does not speak.

LuAnn.  LuAnn.  LuAnn.  She has a “great idea” for a fundraiser.  Are you ready?  A COCKTAIL PARTY!  She is a genius, and this is cutting edge.  Can you imagine?  A cocktail party, in New York City, to raise money.  I weep at the brilliance of this girl.  She is having a sleep over at Jill’s house.  Times must be tough for the Countess, that a hotel is not an option for her anymore.

Jill and LuAnn are toxic.  They feed off of each other, and are going to alienate themselves from everyone, including the viewers, as they build a world of evil.  Watching these two geese go around cackling to each other, makes me want to wear a team Bethany T-shirt. 

Ramona decides to broker a reconciliation between Bethany and Jill, and does it without either one of them knowing.  Alex talks to Jill, and tells her she needs to reach out to Bethany.  It begs the question:  Is everyone scrambling to be one big happy family because they know they may not have a show if they all implode? Or, is there a genuine desire to mend fences? I got $20 that says there are no fences in site.

I can’t even bring myself to go over the meeting between Bethany and Jill.  It was frantic, and painful to watch.  I wanted to somehow grab Bethany through the television, and save her.  You could watch the wheels in Jill’s mind spinning, and can actually see the moment where she remembered the cameras were on, and her performance, including fake tears, began.

In the end, it’s a series of unfortunate circumstance and miscommunications, that are the root of Jill and Bethany not being friends.  They are both to blame, and it’s a shame.  I think the people who are most responsible however, are their “friends”, LuAnn and Ramona.  They are jealous, back stabbing, immature, and horrific women. 

If I needed to pick a side, I’m going with team Bethany.  There is blame on all, but if a winner must be declared, and the winner is determined by the person with the best of intentions and a genuine heart, then the winner must be Bethany.  This seriously needs to be the last year for the women of New York City.  It’s over.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey start back up in a few weeks, and they are filming the new ladies of Beverly Hills now.  Will Andy Cohen listen to my plea, and put the ladies of New York out their misery by cancelling them?  I’m keeping the faith.

 

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April 8, 2010 | 3:44 pm

Jersey Shore Is Going Persian

Posted by Ilana Angel

Jersey Shore was last year’s guilty pleasure.  Everyone watched or, or at least heard of it.  By heard of it, of course I mean we know you watched it. We got sucked into the shore and the cast.  Bravo to MTV for managing to get a hit show, out of a group of people with no apparent talent.  Talk about getting lucky.

It wasn’t just MTV that got lucky.  The group of people selected to be on the show, won the reality television lottery.  It made “celebrities” out of Snookie, Jenn-Woww, Sammi, Vinnie, Ronnie, Paulie D, and The Situation.  This group are masters at milking every last drop, out of every one of their 15 minutes.

They are currently filming season two in Miami, and will relocate to the Jersey shore once things heat up there.  It’s hard to imagine that anything could top this show and the current cast, but bless MTV because they are going to try.  Get ready because Jersey Shore is going Persian!

I am not kidding.  The same company that produces Jersey Shore, is currently casting for a “Persian version” of the mega hit.  They are looking for people who are over 21, outspoken, and proud to be Persian-Americans.  Oh.  My.  God.  I cannot wait for this train to leave the station, so the wreck can begin. 

This has got “blog me”, written all over it.  I predict we will see a lot of attempts to recreate the magic that is Jersey Shore.  It will be interesting to see if going Persian, will be able to do it.

You can say you don’t care, and that you will not watch, but you will.  You may not catch it when it airs in it’s regular time slot, but trust me, when you are home on a Saturday afternoon, sick with a cold, and flicking through the channels, you will stumble upon it, and be unable to turn away.

It’s only a matter of time, before we see a bunch of Jewish kids, crashing over spring break in Boca, at the home of Bubbe and Zaide.  At least I have an excuse for watching it all.  It’s for the blog!  It’s my work! Will season two hit pay dirt again?  I’m sure they are keeping the faith.

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April 8, 2010 | 12:54 am

Happy Birthday To Me

Posted by Ilana Angel

I turned 44 yesterday.  I can remember when I thought being in your 40’s meant you were old.  I am not old.  I am blessed to have a young thinking mind, and attitude.  That’s not to say I’m not mature and grown up, it just means that I have a young spirit.

This is the best time of my life.  While there are certain struggles that come with this age, overall it is a cakewalk.  I love who I am as a mother, a woman, and a friend.  I am in charge of my emotions, my decisions, and my sexuality.  I have never felt more powerful, or beautiful.

I love my work.  Writing is a complete and total joy for me.  In the past year, I have found my voice, a creative outlet, and the knowledge that I am a great writer.  I am proud of the fact that I write about what I want, in my own words, do not allow bullies to alter my view, and am my own editor.

I feel blessed to write for the Jewish Journal.  I have been embraced by the paper, and empowered to speak my mind.  I owe so much of my professional success to Rob Eshman and Jay Firestone.  You have been kind and supportive, and I appreciate you both more than you know.

This past year my son had his Bar Mitzvah.  To stand with him on the Bima, was the proudest moment of my life.  I could not possibly love this child more.  He inspires me every day, to live a healthy and happy life.  I am honored to watch him take his own journey.  He is the joy in my heart, and single greatest accomplishment of my life.

I love my mother.  She is a remarkable woman, and I adore her.  She is strong, and supportive.  She’s a little crazy, and I would not change it one bit.  My little brother has become a hero to me.  Since the passing of my father, he has filled a void, and I appreciate the man he has become.

I met some really wonderful friends during the past year.  Laura, I love you.  You are like a sister to me, and you and Steve have become my family.  Amy, you are the funniest person I know, and inspire me to stay young at heart.  Stephanie, Heidi, Cathy, Bob, and Jim, you rock.

My son met friends this year that I know he will still be friends with, when he celebrates his own 44th birthday.  I love these children as if they were my own.  Eric, Brandon, Jesse, Tyler, Nathan, Megan, Emily, Bear and Brian, I love you, and my home is always open to all of you.

I have wonderful friends, that I love very much.  Andy, you are my soul mate, and that’s all there is to that.  To Anjelica, I love you Jook.  To Michelle and Jeff, thank you is not enough.  To Rob, you saw something that I didn’t, and believed in a dream I never knew I had.  I love you man.  To all my friends, thank you for everything.  You are remarkable people, and I am blessed to have you in my life.

Did you think I would write this sappy look back at my year, and not mention Fiddles the cat?  I love this animal.  She gets me.  She loves me.  She is a member of my family.  My love for her is proof, that I am mere moments away from becoming a crazy cat lady.

This past year was made better with the addition of my hiking group.  Thanks to all of you for letting me into your group, even though I don’t have a dog, and am really slow!  I would not be writing this blog were it not for my two fantastic Rabbis, and Temple Beit T’Shuvah.  I am inspired daily by this remarkable place, and the people in it.

Thanks to everyone who stopped by to read.  I am humbled that so many people not only read, but took the time to comment, and send emails.  I love it when people write, even when I don’t like what they have to say.  It’s a thrill when I hear from my “regulars”.  Thank you all.  You’ve helped me find my way, and I appreciate it.

I am not afraid to have a birthday.  I welcome them, because I get better with each one.  43 was great, and 44 will be better.  Thanks to everyone who touched my life.  Special thanks to every bad date I had.  Each and every horrific dating experience, with each and every horrific man, gets me one step closer to my Beshert.

Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes.  My son is the lead in his school play this weekend, so I will have 3 days of kvelling.  When it’s over, I’m going to have dinner with Ari.  Life is good.  It’s a great thing when you finally learn to breathe deeply, limit your expectations, and keep the faith.

 

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April 7, 2010 | 1:36 am

Kate Gosselin Needs an Attitude Adjustment & Jon Gosselin is a Douchelord

Posted by Ilana Angel

I was seriously hoping that Kate Gosselin would finally get the boot off of Dancing With the Stars.  It’s bad enough that her dancing blows, but this chick never smiles.  She looks constipated, angry, and miserable.  She needs a attitude adjustment, and I wanted nothing more than for her to get eliminated.  That was until her ex-husband opened his mouth.  Now I want her to stay a little longer.

Jon Gosselin announced on Wednesday that he would sue Kate for full custody of their children, because DWTS was making her an absentee parent.  Not only is he asking for custody, but also spousal support.  Really?  Let’s clarify:  Kate is ignoring the kids by making a living, but it’s cool that you went to Europe for weeks with a skank, and slept with the nanny? 

These people are screwed up.  Jon is a bitter, and jealous pig.  Granted he was married to a brittle, and bitchy bully, but still, this is over the top.  He pulled the plug on their TLC show, cut off how she supports the kids, and then when she gets another job, he decides to try to take her kids away from her.  Who does that?

Kate needs a drink.  By needs a drink, of course I mean she should start drinking.  Daily.  Maybe if she gets a nice buzz going, she will be able to unwind her super tight, droopy face, and finally crack a smile.  Maybe instead of a drink, she needs a man.  She needs something.  To have all this crap going on, while being the worst dancer in America, is clearly too much for one woman to handle.  She is a joy sucker, and ruining the show already.

To Jon, you need to shut up.  Right now.  Just shut up.  Stop talking.  We are all sick of you.  To Kate, I hope you get to stay a little longer, to show your sperm donor that he cannot dictate anything to you.  By stay a little longer, of course I mean just one more week.  I can’t imagine we can take more than that. 

Farewell Buzz Aldren.  You are a classy, and decent man.  It was a pleasure, and an honor to welcome you into our homes.

When I’m not writing for The Jewish Journal, I am a professional organizer.  I am an organizing genius actually.  I organize anything from a junk drawer in a kitchen, to an entire home.  I have had my own organizing business for years, and I love it.  I enjoy helping people organize their homes, and teaching them to be less cluttered.

I have one particular client who I see once a month.  I organize her home office every few weeks.  I pay her bills, go through her mail, catalogue her photos, and things like that.  She is a wonderful woman, and when I go to her home, she likes to sit with me while I work.  She sits next to me for hours, with print outs of all my blogs from the weeks I have not seen her.  She reads them aloud, then we discuss.  She is 78, and sharp as a tack.

I met this woman at Temple, and over the years I have become quite fond of her.  This adorable little old lady called me last night and left the following message: 

“Ilana Darling. When I was a young girl we danced like they do on Dancing with the Stars. I wish I had kept all my lovely dancing frocks.  Anyway dear, it’s now late and I need to go to sleep.  Please be a love and call me tomorrow morning and let me know who has been voted off, as I cannot stay up to see the end.  I am hoping that the handsome Mr. Aldrin will be staying on.  I’m not fond of the lady with all the children, but my heart aches for her and her children.  She’s in quite a predicament.  Let her be a lesson to you dear.  Do not marry a Douchelord.  Goodnight.”

Oh, the power of a blog.  How much do we love this woman?  I honestly don’t think she has a clue what it means to call someone a Douchelord, but I figure I better explain it to her before she uses the word in public.  She is going to be mortified for a second, then she will laugh, and get a kick out of it.  I love that she reads my blog everyday.  I love that her advice to me is to not marry a Douchelord.  I just love her, and I know she will read this eventually, so hello friend!

It’s my birthday today.  I am 44 years old, and this birthday shall pass quietly, and without much fanfare.  I am very blessed.  Each birthday now, represents a year that I have spent loving my son, and watching him become a wonderful human being.  Perhaps this will be the year I meet a wonderful man to share my life with.  By perhaps, of course I mean I am keeping the faith.

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