November 1, 2009 | 12:37 pm

Pinocchio

Posted by Ilana Angel

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It’s been several years since I watched the Disney classic Pinocchio and so it’s hard to remember exactly what he looks like but I’m almost certain that he and I went on a date this week.  The poor little fellow just could not control himself and by the end of the night his nose was so big I offered to drop him off at Cedars for some much-needed medical attention.

Lying is a fascinating thing and watching someone do it when you know and they know they are lying is entertaining beyond measure.  My son has never been much of a liar and when he does occasionally tell a lie it is so obvious that it’s sometimes hard for me not to laugh.  I can see the wheels in his head spinning and when he lands the big punch he is so surprised by what he just said that the shock registers on his face and it’s all over.

There are different types of lying and some are actually good.  If you withhold information from someone because it may hurt them it’s a lie but when done with loving intentions it can be okay and women have that form of lying mastered because we protect each other and our friends and family and so even though it’s a lie it can be good and by good of course I mean that lying is never really good but sometimes necessary.

The most fascinating lie is the dating lie.  It’s the kind of lie that you can never take back or undo.  When you tell someone you are 5’10” and are really 5’7” there is no going back.  When you tell someone you are divorced and then tell them you need to cancel dinner because you have a meeting about your divorce there is no going back.  When you tell someone you just bought a new car then have your mom call and say she needs her car back there is no going back.

I will never fully understand the dating lie.  It seems like an area of life that one should try to be honest about because if you lie and then discover that you really like that person there is no going back because you have now established yourself as a liar and as Maya Angelou says, when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

If you are reading this Pinocchio don’t call me because my phone was stolen by aliens when I was abducted last night and I have moved to Alaska to become a fisherman and I’m really a man and I’m married and pregnant and going in for surgery tomorrow so I can enter the witness protection program.  I’m sure you understand.  Best of luck and while I don’t think it will help, keep the faith.