November 30, 2009 | 12:42 pm

Diamonds

Posted by Ilana Angel

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Diamonds are my birthstone and I remember when I turned 13 and my dad gave them to me for the very first time. They were very tiny stud earrings that I instantly fell in love with.  I still have them and wore them at my wedding and at my son’s Bar Mitzvah.  They are as special to me today as they were 30 years ago.

Now I imagine that most women like diamonds but I could be wrong so for the sake of argument let’s assume that this is true and women love them and dream about getting them mostly in the form of a ring for their left hand.  It is a symbol of love and hope and Prince Charming with a happily ever after ending.

I am wondering if it is because I am a woman who wants a fairytale that I cry at every single commercial that is currently running for diamonds.  I seriously cannot watch one of these ads without crying and what is worse is that when I see that there is another one coming I cannot bring myself to change the channel.

The one with the ice skating, the one where the hearing guy learns how to sign to his hearing impaired girlfriend, the one where they are stuck at a red light in the snow, the one where the man is rubbing the belly of his pregnant wife, the one with the grandchildren surprising grandma, each and every one of them makes me cry.

I bet if you made 100 single women and 100 men in love watch these commercials and them took a survey, none of the men would say they were inspired to buy a diamond for the woman they loved but the women would say they were inspired to buy a bar of chocolate, bottle of wine, box of Kleenex and rent an assortment of chick flicks.

Between the holidays, the barrage of diamond commercials and the impending new season of The Bachelor, it’s enough to make a girl want to eat an entire pizza and then bake a cake in the shape of a diamond ring and eat that too and then deal with the guilt of eating everything by drinking an entire bottle of wine to drown the shame.

At this point in my life it would appear that the scenario that seems most possible for me getting my next diamond will be one from my grandchildren and when you consider that my kid is 13 that means I will get a diamond in about 20 years and by 20 years of course I mean I don’t need to bother covering my grey hair anymore and should head off to an animal shelter.

The holidays are a festive time filled with joy and at the same time it’s a rather sad time for people who are alone.  I don’t mean people without a spouse or partner alone, but without anyone alone.  I am blessed to have a wonderful family, friends and child so while I am alone I am not lonely and that is a blessing.

It is officially the beginning of the holiday season and if you recall my goal when I started to write my blog was to be in a relationship by the end of the year and have a date for New Year’s Eve so I’ve now got 31 days left to seal the deal.  It could still happen and by could of course I mean I hope it does.

I am looking for a date not a diamond so there is still plenty of time.  I need to stay positive, embrace JDate, stay away from animal shelters, invest in some L’Oreal, stay away from cake and change the channel when a commercial for diamonds come on.  All it will require is some luck, some patience and my keeping the faith.

*****Check out my new television blog at www.thewrap.com starting today.

November 27, 2009 | 1:11 pm

Black Friday

Posted by Ilana Angel

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my son.  We drove to be with our friend Laurel and her family in Carlsbad and with horrible traffic it took a whopping 3 hours to get there but we had a ton of food and laughs and left well rested only to have the drive back take 2 ½ hours.

When we got home we plopped down on the couch to watch a little television and before we knew it we were attacked by commercials for Black Friday and there was nothing for us to do but jump in the car and head out to the Camarillo outlets and do some shopping. 

We left home at midnight, got there at 12:35, found parking at 1:15 and just arrived home at 8 AM.  It was a long night but what a great time we had.  We shopped, hung out, talked and laughed and it was truly a night we will both remember.  I cherish our adventures because he is growing up fast and soon his adventures will include me less and less.

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and enjoy the long weekend.  Safe travels to everyone who is heading out or coming back.  It is officially the beginning of the holiday season and I hope it is safe, happy and peaceful for us all. 

I will be back with a fresh blog on Monday and will tell you all about my date from Saturday night.  This one could be interesting and by interesting of course I mean I am going to keep the faith.

Shabbat Shalom

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November 26, 2009 | 3:43 pm

Happy Thanksgiving

Posted by Ilana Angel

I am thankful for my son.  He is a remarkable and fabulous young man and I am truly blessed to be his mother and friend. I remember my entire pregnancy, when he was a baby, when he told me loved me for the first time, when he started school and when he became taller than me yet I can’t remember a lot of things from before he was born. 

My life started in a new way when he came into it and I am so thankful.  Last night we went to see KISS in concert.  As they started to play Detroit Rock City my son took my hand and told me that he loved me and that he was glad I came with him.  He then continued to hold my hand through most of the song.  It is a memory I will treasure forever.

I am thankful for my family.  We are all a little crazy but wonderful people and I love them with all my heart.  I am thankful for my mother who has taught me so much and every time my son tells me he loves me I am reminded to pick up the phone and tell my mom I love her.

With my family far away the holidays are hard because I wish I could give my son the experience of a big family but it’s just us so we will go to friends and in the end they’re like family and one could argue more special because we choose them.  I look forward to meeting my Beshert and having my family grow.

I am thankful for my blog at the Jewish Journal.  It is my pleasure to write and share my journey and it is a wonderful thing that I can talk about my life and my search for love and also be able to share my opinions because where else could I say I hope to find love and that Donny Osmond is a homophobic pig who should be ashamed of himself?  The Jewish Journal baby!

I am thankful for JDate.  Yes you heard it correctly my darlings I am thankful for JDate.  I am meeting some nice men and putting myself out there and learning about myself and what I want at this stage of my life and I am also getting a front row seat with a perfect view of what it is that I don’t want so they are stuck with me because I’m in it and I believe.

Take a moment out of your day to say thanks for all the service men and women who are protecting us while we get to be with the ones we love and pray that they all get to come home safe and sound.  Say thanks to the members of the IDF and their families as they fight to protect Israel.  These are brave and heroic people who deserve out gratitude and praise.

I hope you all have a very happy, healthy and peaceful Thanksgiving full of family, football and shopping.  If you see a soldier say thank you,  If you see someone on the street asking for help, then help them.  We are blessed and it is only when we share our blessings that we are able to receive blessings.  Be safe and keep the faith.

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November 25, 2009 | 1:36 pm

Donny Osmond? Whatever!

Posted by Ilana Angel

My son is going to the KISS concert tonight at the Staples Center and in a feeble attempt to be the coolest mom ever I am going with him.  We will be a group of 4 kids and 4 moms and I will be the crazy old lady in full KISS makeup who appears to have no sense of rhythm as I will be listening to Celine Dion on my iPod while I drown out the sound of KISS.  The things we do for our kids and for our kids of course I mean for ourselves as we try to be cool and stay young.

For my loyal followers you know that I love television and write about it quite often.  Well my darlings I am going to branch out and will be blogging all about television at www.thewrap.com starting this week.  It will be my no holds barred opinion about the shows that I love and hate and while I am not one to be completely open with my opinions I will try really hard to be honest.  Keeping the Faith will continue as it is my blogging baby and I’m not giving it up until there is a ring on my finger and by ring on my finger of course I mean that I would be happy to have a date that does not make me want to pull all my hair out and chew on glass.

Do you think that there is any possibility that JDate is black listing me?  Perhaps I have made one too many hell train references and so they are secretly sabotaging my search for love.  I hate to sound paranoid but I wrote to 3 men on the train and not one wrote back, not even an acknowledgement that I wrote so I wonder if they even got the email.  I have listed my preferences in terms of who I am looking for but the people who write are either in their 20’s or 60’s so I can’t help but wonder.  JDate, why so angry?  It would behoove you to have me find love because then I will get off the hell train and onto the love train.  I’m just saying.

I am disgusted that Donny Osmond won Dancing With The Stars and while I know it is supposed to be about dancing let’s get real people, this was about the popular vote and it would appear that the popular vote in America is made up of a bunch of homophobes.  His opinion about homosexuality is crazy and stupid and therefore, in my humble opinion, Donny Osmond is crazy and stupid.  When he started to sing Puppy Love for a split second I forgot he was a moron but then it all came back to me.  I wanted very much for Kelly Osbourne to win and am disappointed that a bunch of loons in middle America took it away from her because they are insane.

Steve Mcpherson has not called me and it is crushing because I thought for sure the blog from yesterday would seal the deal.  My darling Mr. McPherson, you need me and I will continue to remind you that you need me until you call me and by call me I mean hire and by hire me all I really mean is meet with me.  I’m very good at selling myself and not in a prostitution kind of way although one could argue that working in the entertainment industry requires you to sell yourself and so as long as I am selling myself and not my soul then I guess that’s good.  Call me before I kick into full on stalking mode and pull out the Extreme Home Makeover single mom card.

I am going to do my KISS research now so I can properly paint the face of my child so that Gene Simmons himself will be impressed.  I am dreading 2 hours of pounding rock and roll but I will spend the day with joy in my heart that I am able to share this experience with my son and the knowledge that Steve is going to call me today.  It will happen because this is a week of giving thanks in addition to keeping the faith.

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November 24, 2009 | 11:27 am

ABC on ABC

Posted by Ilana Angel

Last night started out with a 21 year old writing me on JDate to ask if I wanted to date his dad who it turns out is only 40.  As I came to terms with this new phase of my dating life I was thankful for the ABC Television Network and by thankful of course I mean it’s time.  Time for Steve McPherson and I to have a meeting.

I have conducted endless hours of in depth market research in my state of the art research facility with the help of my two assistants, Pinot and Merlot, and after digging around the abc.com website we have concluded that what they really need is a blogger and I am the one person who is uniquely qualified for that position.

I laughed, cried, cheered and booed while watching Dancing With the Stars, Find My Family and Castle and realized that I really do love television and some of the best television is on ABC and maybe people don’t know it’s there or don’t understand how really great it is and what they need is a guide to walk them through.

How great would it be if you could go to abc.com every day and read a funny recap, what’s coming up, why to watch and what you are missing if you don’t? There could be a video diary with interviews and behind the scenes chats with the stars of the shows.  It would be both a dictionary and a cheering section for ABC.

The most important thing to note about my new job at ABC is that I would have to talk to attorneys, assistants, agents, publicists, managers and celebrities and the chances of my meeting a nice Jewish man through those channels may be the way to go so ultimately, the job is not only about helping the viewers of ABC but it’s about me and my search for love.

Now I don’t want to make a big deal out of it by asking my loyal followers to boycott ABC until they create this job for me because that would just set an ugly tone for my negotiations and by ugly tone of course I mean when I asked my people if they would boycott on my behalf they refused to miss an episode of V or the outcome of Dancing With The Stars.

To Mr. McPherson I say that at the very least we should have a meeting and you should hear my ideas because they are really good and I want to be a part of ABC.com and it would be great for both of us and if you don’t call me I will be forced to write about you every day until you call and that will just be uncomfortable.

Additionally, if I don’t hear from you by let’s say the end of next week, I will not only write about how you are ignoring me but I will pull the single mother, raising her son on her own, struggling to make ends meet while teaching her child about faith card and it will be a complete Extreme Home Makeover moment which we both know will be brutal.

Help me to help you Steve McPherson and by helping you of course I mean help me Steve McPherson.  It’s not just about my working for you and doing a job that I would love and be proud of, but it’s about finding me a nice Jewish husband and that is a mitzvah so do it for that reason in addition to the fact that I will make ABC.com a must visit site.

At the end of the day it’s out of my hands and all I can do is pray that this blog will get to you.  Pray and beg.  Pray, beg and dangle my son’s Mickey Mouse off my balcony until you call me.  To my followers I understand you not wanting to boycott and thank you for voting for Kelly.  I hope she wins tonight and either way you can be sure I’ll be talking about it tomorrow.

I hope you all have a wonderful day and if you have any contacts to the fabulous Steve McPherson make sure you tell him that he should hire me to blog.  It’s time that Angel’s Blogging Central was a part of abc.com.  That’s right people ABC on ABC is going to happen.  It’s just a matter of time and all I need to do is keep the faith.

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November 23, 2009 | 11:55 am

Matchmaker Matchmaker

Posted by Ilana Angel

With the holidays fast approaching and the end of the year in sight I decided to have Sunday brunch at my home with friends.  Life gets busy and we make plans to see each other but weeks turn into months so rather than just talk about it I made a plan.

It was a wonderful afternoon of food, friends and laughter.  What was really interesting is that it was a group of people who I am connected to but not necessarily connected to each other but it turns out that most of the group knew everyone through other people.

It’s strange how far reaching Jewish geography is and amazing how intertwined gay geography is.  It did not matter whose name was mentioned, someone in the group knew that person and we were all woven together which proves what a small world it is.

I have a slight accent and when people meet me for the first time they usually ask if I am Canadian and when I confirm that I am the next question will often be “Hey do you know Steve?  He’s from Canada.”  What are the chances I would know Steve?  Well, sometimes I actually do know Steve.

The six degrees of separation are fascinating and it begs the question:  if we are all connected and a group of 12 can know each other through a dozen different ways, how is it possible that this group, who we’ve discovered know a million people, can not fix me up with a nice Jewish guy?

My friends are no slackers and this particular group are all successful people who work in the entertainment industry or the Jewish community which one would think are the two best fields to look when you are searching for love and only date Jewish men.

I brought up the subject of getting fixed up and they dispersed like kids under a broken piñata.  It was entertaining and by entertaining of course I mean lame.  Why are people afraid to play matchmaker?  Is the fear that a bad set up will put a strain on the friendship?

In my case does the fear stem from having to say: “She is really great but you need to know that everything you say and do will be in the Jewish Journal.”  Do they not know I use aliases in my blog to protect the innocent?  For example nobody knows that “The Republican” is Joseph.

I have spectacular friends who I can count on and if I needed help they would be there in a mere moment to save me and that is special and important.  I have great friends because I am a great friend and with my family 3000 miles away friends are even more important.

I don’t understand why people are scared to set up their friends.  I never really hear about nightmare situations where a set up went wrong but I do hear all the time from couples that are in love and say friends set them up so to those couples I say I want to meet YOUR friends.

Of the dozen guests over yesterday they are all married or in loving and committed relationships and flaunting their happiness was almost unbearable and by unbearable of course I mean that I covet it and I am not ashamed to admit that I covet.  I am not jealous or envious I simply covet.

To my Sunday brunch guests I say get over yourselves and start digging into your files and find me a nice Jewish guy.  If I can’t count on you then whom can I count on?  I am mere moments away from getting another cat and covering my furniture in plastic.

I feel the need to point out to the people who are writing right now to say I am pathetic and desperate and will never find love because I am looking too hard, thanks.  Got it.  I appreciate your concern and value your opinions but no need to write me again.

This will be a short week with yummy food, fabulous shopping and exciting football.  Be safe and happy and when you go through your address books to reconnect with people for the holidays keep me in mind for a fix up.  I’m standing by and as always, keeping the faith.

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November 20, 2009 | 2:49 pm

Cesar Milan: Love Whisperer

Posted by Ilana Angel

After spending countless hours and insane amounts of money searching for love I have discovered what has been missing from my plan.  It turns out there is one sure fire thing that opens the door to meeting men and I feel quite comfortable saying that it is guaranteed to also work for men wanting to meet women.  What is this magical thing you ask?  A DOG!

As you know I own a cat and we all know that the quickest way to turn a man off is to say you have a cat and I’d be willing to guess that nine times out of ten when a man says he is allergic to cats he really isn’t allergic so much as he thinks on some level you are a crazy cat lady so he lies as a way to quickly run for the hills.

Cesar Milan is the world famous Dog Whisperer and I wonder if he has ever thought about branching out to also become a Love Whisperer because this man has a gold mine within his grasp and all he needs to do is start holding singles mixers for people with dogs who are looking for love and voila, he is the Dog/Love Whisperer.

Last night I dog sat for Parker who is a Labradoodle who belongs to my friends Michelle and Jeff and let me just say that I love this dog.  She is so sweet and may be the best dog ever.  She is gentle, has a great personality and I like hanging out with her.  She follows me around like a dog, which is so cute and not surprising since she is in fact a dog.

When we went for a walk every single person that passed us stopped to say hello and touch her fluffy head.  People smiled and asked about her and asked how my day was and wished me well and were kind and sharing and it was as if Parker brought out the best in people which was lovely and I felt all was well in the world.

When a man stopped his run to say hello to Parker and the sweat was glistening on his brow and his muscles were twitching and his hair fell into his eyes as he looked up from his crouched position of patting Parker life was good and by good I mean I heard violins and he had to ask me what kind of dog she was three times before I heard him over the fire works.

My friend Laurel has a Chihuahua whose name is Daisy and she is a dainty little girly girl who wears clothes. She looks like the complete opposite of Parker yet the reactions are exactly the same.  Everyone stops to talk when you have a dog no matter what kind of dog you have.

The animal magnetism is only there with a dog because when I put my cat Fiddles in a baby bjorn and took her for a walk around the block people not only did not stop to talk to us but actually crossed the street to get away and gave me the “Oh my gawd look at the crazy cat lady” look.

I am offering my dog watching services to Parker and Daisy anytime they want to hang out and by hang out of course I mean I am going to blatantly use their cuteness to meet men and if that means that I need to steal them and pass them off as my own then I am going to do it and Michelle, Jeff and Laurel will have to sacrifice their dogs to my love life.

Should Cesar decide to branch out into matchmaking, and even though I am a fake part time dog owner, I will be the first one to sign up with Parker and Daisy.  To all the beautiful dogs who are in shelters right now waiting for people to save them, your day is coming so keep the faith.

Shabbat Shalom

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November 19, 2009 | 2:24 pm

Starbucks

Posted by Ilana Angel

I can’t remember when going to Starbucks became an acceptable date but meeting someone for a cup of coffee is not a date it’s an interview and I think it’s unacceptable and am so surprised when people write on their JDate profiles that their idea of a perfect first date is meeting at Starbucks.

I understand from a man’s perspective that if he is going out on a lot of dates it can get really expensive taking women out for lunch, dinner or drinks but I would rather go dutch on a real date that have him buy me a cup a coffee and have to sit in a Starbucks trying to get to know someone.

For me the perfect first date is going out to dinner and again I am happy to pay for dinner myself because it’s not about getting a free meal it’s about getting to know someone and at dinner you can take your time and talk plus you can learn a lot about a person by how they treat wait staff.

If you date just to date then I suppose Starbucks is a good call because it’s like a factory and you can get a lot of people in and out for not a lot of money but if you are dating to meet someone special then you need to take a more old fashioned approach and go into it with hope that this could be it.

I am tired of dating and frustrated that people are just not honest about what they want.  JDate should add a couple of choices to the “what you are looking for” field and if I may make a suggestion: 1) coffee 2) getting laid 3) happily ever after.  These selections would make it easier.

In addition to a man listing his age there should be the following choices: 1) frat boy 2) pathological liar 3) prince charming.  For the record there is nothing wrong with any of these choices just be honest about what it is that you are looking for and more importantly what you are capable of.

I’m frustrated with my dating life today and by frustrated of course I mean done and by done I mean that I really don’t think it’s supposed to be this hard and the next person who tells me that when I stop looking I will find love should be careful because I am going to have to hurt them.

A friend of mine died yesterday.  He was young and beautiful and it’s heartbreaking but what it does is make you appreciate your life and want to live the best life possible and makes the desire to share it with someone greater and somehow more immediate.

Life is short and full of surprises and you never know what will happen but I know that my life is meant to include a great love story with a wonderful man and for now that knowledge will have to be enough.  Rest in peace beautiful Blue, we will always keep the faith.

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