September 21, 2009 | 11:15 am

Top Ten List

Posted by Ilana Angel

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1.  I am beginning to think that I would rather stick my hand down my own throat and remove my kidney than spend one more day on JDate.

2.  I am not sure why Mike Fleiss has not called but I’m not giving up because I know he will call one day, we will have lunch and I will worship him in person as that is how it is meant to be.

3.  I think the Emmy show last night was great and Neil Patrick Harris was fabulous and the In Memoriam was brilliant and Jeff Probst should not be winning an Emmy.

4.  I am addicted to my farm on Facebook and actually set my phone alarm yesterday to harvest my pumpkin patch and no good can ever come of that.

5.  I will never understand the appeal of Ryan Seacrest and the fact that he makes so much money, has so many jobs and is so famous is in fact one of the unexplainable wonders of the world.

6.  I am baffled by the men who write me on JDate and my current favorite is “Bruce” who is 60 years old and assures me that even though he is out of my age range I will never know because he takes Viagra which by the way is the name of his dog.

7.  My mother is coming to visit this week for 12 days and I will try hard to not let her voice filter into my blog but if I start writing about how I should have another baby, consider dating a nice man from Israel and try to convince you that the speed limit on Coldwater Canyon should be 25 mph then you will know I have failed.

8.  I am over being single and by over it I mean I am over having to sort through so many frogs to find a prince and by sorting through frogs I mean that at this point if you were a decent toad I would probably be interested.

9.  I love this time of year, am happy that today is the last full day of summer,  went to a beautiful Tashlit Service yesterday and look forward to Kol Nidre which is my favorite.

10.  Even the most positive people wake up some days and no matter how blessed their life is, no matter how much hope they have, there are just some days where it’s tough to keep the faith and that’s ok because tomorrow is another day so for those of you who are struggling today know that I will keep the faith for all of us.

September 20, 2009 | 12:09 pm

Prince Not-So-Charming

Posted by Ilana Angel

There is a special moment when a New Year begins where everything seems possible so we set goals and it feels like we can actually stick to them and follow through because it’s a clean slate.

My goal for the year 5770 is to stay true to myself and find a fabulous Jewish man who is strong enough to take on a challenge like me and more important than finding this man, I have resolved to stop dating the wrong type of men and am going to turn up the volume on my a**hole detector.

Last night was the first night of the New Year and my goal of starting off on the right foot was shattered because I was stood up for a date by “Michael” who I met on the JDate Hell Train which is no surprise because I think there must actually be something wrong with a man in order for JDate to accept their registration.

We made plans to meet for dinner on Saturday night and ended our 30 minute lovely conversation with him saying he would call me Friday to check in and confirm.  No call.  No confirmation. No email.  No cancellation.  No class.  No way. 

The thing is that for women when you’ve set up a date the days leading up to it are full of promise and possibilities because he could turn out to be fabulous and when men cancel they immediately become Prince Not-So-Charming and we are left wondering why which is a waste of time because at that point who really cares why.

Rather than allow this cowardly and rude man blow my resolution, I’m going to adjust my thinking and make him my first, last and only a**hole of the year.  What a relief to have that out of the way for an entire year and what a blessing that not another day shall be wasted on those who are not worthy. 

By an entire year of course I mean that my resolution track record is usually about 3 weeks so YAY for the next 21 days of enjoying an a**hole free life and by those who are unworthy I mean I am a magnet for those men so in the interest of breaking old patterns and I will turn off my loser magnet.

I wish a happy and healthy year to all those who are searching for love and continued joy for those who have found it.  I believe it’s going to happen for me this year and I can trust myself because I’m an Angel and if there is one thing Angel’s are really good at it’s Keeping the Faith.

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September 18, 2009 | 10:46 am

They’re not all winners

Posted by Ilana Angel

I don’t know what most lifestyle bloggers do but I write every day.  I write about me and my friends and our little piece of world. 

My postings take a look at dating as a single parent over 40.  I’m not changing the world just making fun of myself and I like to think they’re humorous.

I got a call from my friends “Ralph” and “Alice” informing me that some of my postings were too serious and they wanted to let me know that I’ve lost my funny. 

They are a fabulous couple who are hilarious and a perfect match.  Back in the old days, when I was funny, I liked them a lot. 

I think I should give all of you their contact info so they can provide you with a funny email each and every day.  I’m sure every word will keep you in stitches.

For their first date Ralph rolled up in a 1969 El Camino that had such bad springs every time he drove over the slightest bump Alice would hit her head on the roof. 

Alice overlooked his deathtrap and enjoyed the date because he was charming and funny.  Ralph was impressed by her because she was real and decent. 

It’s been almost 20 years since that first date.  You just never know where you will find love and you never know what people will think is funny. 

Alice found love in the front seat of a El Camino and Ralph found it because he had the faith that Alice would always keep the faith. 

As the New Year begins I will look forward to finding love and getting my funny back.  Shanah Tovah.

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September 17, 2009 | 10:42 am

The Biggest Loser

Posted by Ilana Angel

I recently renewed my JDate membership because I believe it can work.  I have friends who got married and friends who are in committed relationships though JDate. 

Despite my hope for success however, I could write a book about the world’s most horrible dates and thanks to JDate I would be able to have several bestsellers.

My profile says I will date men age 40 to 53.  If I search for men within 40 miles of my zip code with that age range there are thousands for me to choose from. 

Yesterday however I officially hit a new low when JDate did something that made me want to get 16 cats, cover my furniture in plastic and never leave my house.

When I got my daily email that suggests the perfect match for me, I was surprised to discover that it was in fact, a woman.

JDate has decided that they have done all they can do for me and I should now be a lesbian.  They have given up on matching me with men.  Am I now officially the biggest loser for going back on JDate?

If it happened once I could tell myself it’s a computer glitch but it has now happened twice which is not a glitch so much as a hint.

I can certainly appreciate a beautiful woman and I’m flattered that the women they matched me up with were very attractive, but alas I’m a date a man kind of girl.

I am counting the days until my subscription is over.  I just don’t have the time to search for love and question my sexuality. 

I suppose I could think positive and be happy that if they are right I will double my wardrobe.  Perhaps I will add that I wear a size 8 shoe to my profile.

This morning I am going to get another cat, buy a tool belt, pick out a new lipstick and call it a day.  Sometimes it’s just easier to give in than keep the faith. 

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September 16, 2009 | 1:54 pm

More to Love

Posted by Ilana Angel

I watched the finale of More to Love last night and I think we all know what I’m going to say.  I LOVE YOU MIKE FLEISS.

It was brilliant.  I have never been a fan of Malissa and she sealed her fate with me when her sister said she had never watched her nieces and nephews, not one time, and Malissa responded by saying she didn’t want to deal with kids that were not her own.  Oy Vey.

The whole time she was “falling in love” with Luke she was obsessed with the competition.  It was never about Luke so much as it was about winning.  Even in the end she could not say she loved him and so Luke did the only thing he could do, he dumped her!

Tali is the super pretty Israeli.  When asked about being Jewish and Luke being Christian she spoke about faith being important and that her kids could be raised with both religions and that they would be good people who believed in something bigger than themselves.  She was classy and I was proud of her.

Luke’s dad hated her answer and from the get go was pushing for him to not go with the Jewish chick.  Luke’s mom however saw right through Malissa and wanted him to pick Tali.

In the end Luke went with his mother’s choice and ultimately his own choice.  Tali was open and kind and told him she loved him which allowed him to be able to see Malissa for the freak that she was.

I LOVE IT that even a grown man of 27 listened to the advice of his mother.  As a single mother myself, it was a touching thing for me.  I LOVE IT that Tali knows she is a beautiful girl even though she is heavy and I LOVE IT that the subject of religion was discussed and not swept under the rug.

This was a great show.  I think it gives hope and perspective to single women who have real bodies and are looking for love.  Regardless of your size, age or religion, dating and meeting someone is hard and heartache is the same for everyone.  Mike Fleiss made a show about love.  In the end the fact that these were bigger girls was irrelevant.

Love is available for everyone and even though it sometimes takes longer to find, and your heart can be broken during the search, it is a journey worth taking.  This show was inspiring and showed me that in the end religion is not as important as keeping the faith.

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September 15, 2009 | 12:42 pm

As it should be

Posted by Ilana Angel

Have you ever had one of those days where everything feels like it is exactly how it should be and somehow all the planets align to give you a day that just makes sense?  It’s not necessarily the best day ever and nothing profound happens it’s just a day that feels normal and comfortable and it’s as if for just a moment, everything is as it should be.

I had one of those days yesterday.  It started with me having to drag my teenager out of bed.  The same teenager I might add who insists he can function on only 6 hours sleep when really I think he probably needs 16.  I made him breakfast and we chatted for a little bit.  I took him to school, came home and went on an hour and a half morning walk that passed by quickly with the help of Stevie Wonder.

My business partner came over and we immediately got into a very productive groove. He is my partner and best friend and it’s been strained between us lately.  When you hit a road block you can give up and turn around or you can simply drive over it and get on your way.  In realizing that all blocks can and will be removed, I was reminded that our future is clear, destined and within reach.

A good friend of ours came to join us for lunch and it was wonderful.  I picked up my son from school, we went to do some shopping, came home and he did homework while I made dinner.  We sat side by side with our computers and goofed around online.  We wrapped up the day with laughter and talking about plans for the future.

I tucked him in and we chatted in the dark for a minute before he dozed off.  I watched him sleep and was reminded of him as a baby.  I slept deeply and uninterrupted and woke up ready to do it all again today.  Yesterday was a normal day.  A gloriously normal day that was full of joy, simplicity and promise. 

I have a wonderful life and look forward to sharing it with a wonderful man.  Yesterday I was given a clear and vivid view of why I keep the faith.

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September 14, 2009 | 9:53 am

The Boundaries of Compromise

Posted by Ilana Angel

Relationships require compromise.  There is a give and take that is needed in order to be healthy and happy with another person and regardless of whether we are talking about a friend, a family member or a romantic interest, a relationship is a partnership and a partnership is a business and a business takes work.

When you are single it’s natural to have a list in your mind of who you are looking for and the qualities that you want that person to possess but you should not have an idea of who you will become when you are in a relationship.  You must be true to yourself and should not alter who you are in order to be with someone. 

There are boundaries and when you are compromising who you are as a person to attract someone else then those boundaries have been crossed.  I hope I will never change who I am, what I believe in or what I am looking for just to be with someone.  I don’t want to settle for an average relationship just because it is easy or safe or available. 

Compromise is required and a key element in relationships but we can’t pretend to be something we’re not.  It’s just too hard to maintain.  It’s about seeking peace and growth not changing who we are, what we want or what we believe we can have.  Compromise is not about picking battles because a healthy relationship should have no battles.

There is someone for everyone.  A person who will want and accept all the parts that come together to make us wonderful.  I would rather wait for that person than cross boundaries and compromise who I am just to not be alone.  Love is an area of life where one can simply not be lazy.

I know that one day those of us who are searching will meet a special person who will understand us and embrace all that we are.  Good things come to those who wait and it’s really just a matter of time so we must try to stay busy while we anticipate their arrival.

I am blessed with a very full and satisfying life so it won’t be hard for me to wait but should I find myself getting impatient, I will pass the time by keeping the faith.

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September 13, 2009 | 1:21 pm

My Love/Hate relationship with JDate

Posted by Ilana Angel

How is it possible that no matter when I sign on to my beloved JDate website, and by beloved of course I mean nightmare, the women outnumber the men by about 12 to 1?  At 9:25 am there were 59 people online who live within 40 miles of my zip code and of the 59, 54 were women.  It does not matter what time of day you sign on it is the same ratio.

How can they explain that every time I go on the fabulous JDate website, and by fabulous of course I mean mortifying, they have a front page success story about a couple that met and fell in love through their services when the odds of that happening are about 1 in a zillion and there not a zillion people on there?

I’m not sure why but even after all this time I still believe that JDate can work when the odds would lead one to believe that it’s a waste of money. If I’ve been on and off of JDate for years, keep coming back, believe it can work, promote it to others and am able to find humor in the fact that I am still there, why am I not getting a frequent sucker discount? 

I love JDate. By love of course I mean I hate JDate.  I am going to stay positive though and hang on to the knowledge that deep down under my frustration and skepticism I must believe that there may be one good man who is waiting for me to see him.

I have 17 days remaining on my 30 day JDate experiment.  We will see what happens.  I must remember that the only way to tell the difference between a frog and a prince is to be able to clearly recognize a frog.  I’m going to dive back in, be brave, bold and proactive. 

I will continue to bash my good friend JDate. I can’t help myself.  Luckily we’ve been friends long enough that she won’t take it personally.  I know she is waiting to tell me that she told me so.  She’s entertaining like that which is why I love her and why I will continue to keep the faith.

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