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June 10, 2011

The Real Housewives of New York City – It’s Weird. Weird. Just Weird.

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/the_real_housewives_of_new_york_city_its_weird_weird_just_weird_20110610/

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It’s our last week in Morocco and while I am disappointed it’s coming to an end, I’m certain that the people of Marrakesh could not be happier to get our ladies out of there.  This episode rocked it out and they ended with a bang.

Jill is having another heart attack and explaining to Cindy, LuAnn and Kelly that Ramona was unwilling to apologize.  She is not crying, as much as she is sniffing and heavy breathing to give the impression of crying.  It’s hilarious.

Back in Ramona’s room, she is also doing the housewive’s sniffing cry to Alex and Sonja when LuAnn comes in and asks shy she is causing problems.  Pinot is demanded for Ramona and Alex and Sonja are trying to get LuAnn out.

Alex is being weird and trying to take over the situation and tells LuAnn to leave so Ramona can breathe.  Sonja is invisible and Kelly comes in to check on them. I love Kelly this week. She is the voice of calm and reason.  These chicks are so high school that is both entertaining and disturbing. Sonja made a reservation for dinner and wants a medal of some kind.  They fight all day and then go out for dinner at Café Bipolar like nothing happened.

The restaurant has belly dancing and some of the ladies getup to join them. There is music and a shot of Kelly bopping to the beat while she eats her dinner, and it struck me as so sweet.  Alex is telling us she is wild.  Whatever.  Our trusted guide Mustapha is giving the ladies a tour of a palace. Ramona and Lu Ann are resting at home, Kelly has a great outfit on, and Jill will not stop talking and asking random American tourist questions about everything.

Back at the house, Ramona is resting and Alex goes to console her when she returns.  Alex brings nothing to this show, we cannot relate to her, don’t get why she is there, and she is trying to make herself relevant because we don’t care.  Ramona is all touchy feely and Alex is playing therapist.  Ramona tells her she will need a wingman with Jill, and Alex is all over it.  Just as she sucked onto the Bethenny situation with Jill, she will do the same for Ramona.

Alex could care less about any of them.  She simply knows there is no reason for her or her husband, both of whom are unemployed, to be on the show and she is trying to find a way to keep herself from not being invited back.  LuAnn, Kelly and Cindy are getting henna tattoos and Alex comes stomping down the stairs and into the tattoo area.  Kelly is going on and on about how weird it was for her to barge in so angry, and not enter nicely.

Kelly is the best part of this trip.  Alex insists on talking to Luann privately, but LuAnn insists she talk in front of everyone.  Alex is getting hives and wants to deliver her speech on behalf of Ramona but they are not having it.  She wants her “Bethenny does not want to talk to you ever again” moment but instead, Kelly and LuAnn laugh her at.  I have no idea what Alex is doing or why she is even on this show with her gay husband.

Alex is losing her mind with anger and Kelly is explaining why it’s weird.  Ales says Ramona asked her for protection which I don’t remember her saying, and she keeps talking as Kelly is shushing her.  I cannot stop laughing.  Cindy feels bad that Alex is getting steamrolled.  Kelly just keeps talking as she leaves the room, telling Alex the entire thing is stupid, and her tattoo is ruined.  Alex is standing there, with her mouth hanging open, very confused.

Kelly is back to scream at Alex that she ruined her tattoo and that Alex is weird and nobody wants to hang out with her. Kelly walks off telling her she is weird and Alex is crying and screaming at Kelly that she is mad.  Alex chases after Kelly and gets frustrated that she is being shushed. Alex is screaming and Kelly tells her to close her eyes, then open her eyes, stop talking, talk, and no matter what Kelly tells her to do, Alex does it.

This exchange between Alex and Kelly is officially my favorite moment from any housewife season.  It is perfection and I am peeing myself I am laughing so hard.  Kelly is telling Alex what she feels and Alex agrees!  Too funny.  Sonja and Ramona have snuck off to see the custom dresses and try everything on so they are not stuck with something they don’t want.  They are incredibly disrespectful.  Clearly Ramona is not as upset as Alex thinks.

It’s similar to when Bethenny made a comment to tell Jill she’s done, and when Alex took it literally Bethenny thought it was weird.  Ramona simply told Alex to have her back, Alex defended her and Ramona doesn’t get why.  Jill comes out to see what’s happening and when Alex tells Jill what happened, Kelly corrects her and tells her again how’s she’s feeling.  Jill has had her hair done and it looks ridiculous, but I think Jill secretly loved it.

Sidebar:  Why is Alex friends with Sonja after Sonja humiliated her and kicked her out of her house in front of the cameras?  Is Alex so pathetic that she must be friends with her after being treated that way?  At dinner, LuAnn, Jill and Kelly are bagging on Ramona and Sonja who have stood them up fro dinner.  Cindy sits there in disbelief that these chicks are so catty, Alex shows up for dinner and she is weird, while LuAnn is pissed off.

Everyone is annoyed that Alex has arrived an hour and a half late for dinner, while Ramona and Sonja don’t show at all.  Alex says she did not know what time dinner was, and she is dismissed by Countless.  LuAnn is being cryptic and defensive.  Kelly gets up, cuts Alex off, and kicks her out of the dining room.  Her parting words to Alex are that she is saving her right now.  Week three in Morocco is comedy gold.

Cindy has never seen women act this way and asks the camera if this is reality.  No Cindy, it’s reality television.  Welcome to Bravo sister.  Get out while you can.  I wonder if Cindy watched this show before she was on it.  Ramona and Sonja stroll in hours late and ask what is for dinner.  LuAnn informs them that this is not the Plaza Hotel, it’s Morocco.  LuAnn tells them the kitchen is closed and LuAnn shuts the dining room down.

Kelly is now calling Ramona weird, LuAnn has left and Kelly tells Ramona to play nice.  Ramona agrees.  It’s so funny that last year they all thought Kelly was nuts and now everyone does everything Kelly tells them to do.  Fantastic.  LuAnn is pissed, Ramona says sorry, all if forgiven but not before LuAnn tells Ramona how the country of Morocco is run.  LuAnn apologizes, sort of, and tells Ramona she is sorry about the fortuneteller. 

LuAnn tells Ramona she is there for her if she needs anything and Ramona says she does not believe her.  It’s interesting that Ramona is just blowing off the entire fortuneteller thing.  I think Mario is sleeping with Sonja.  The ladies are packing to go back to New York.  Alex snuggles up in bed with Sonja and I want to hurl.  Alex clearly has no friends and feels desperate for this time with the ladies. I almost feel bad for her.  Almost.

Kelly is going for a run before they leave, and Jill is packing.  Kelly tells her to make nice with Ramona.  Kelly is really the peacemaker this trip.  It’s a far cry from last year in St. John when she became unraveled.  Jill goes to see Ramona and the other ladies clear the room.  Jill sits down like they are the best of friends.  These chicks have memory loss at the oddest times.  Does Jill not remember the day before?

Jill tells Ramona she cares about her, they need to start fresh and be friends. Jill also tells Ramona she is a good friend to her and you have to wonder, if you are indeed a good friend do you need to tell people? Won’t they know?  Everyone is made up and friends again.  Bravo shows us a trailer for next week and we see the peace is going to last about a week.  Every week ends with the anticipation of what is to come.  Bravo.

We go from everyone scrambling to get packed, to a cooking class.  Not a lot of continuity in the editing, but I’m happy to jump around.  The girls are making lunch and watching Cindy try to cook is fabulous.  I like her.  Alex thinks Cindy is weird but only Kelly can determine who is weird.  Everyone is eating lunch and getting along.  It’s a nice way to end the trip, even though it was clearly not shot at the end.

It’s now the farewell dinner in Morocco, which is again odd since they have already packed.  A little continuity would be appreciated Bravo.  They are all putting on their custom gowns and getting their make-up done with dramatic eyes.  Back in NYC we see Mario and Simon and Mario says he hopes the ladies never come back, he thinks they are in Dubai not Morocco, and you know it’s a set up about their marriage.  Mario is a pig.

It’s the last supper, everyone is in their custom dresses, and Sonja says she made a reservation at a place where you have to be the “in” crowd to get in.  The interesting thing is the place is empty and sunlight is streaming in.  I get reality television is scripted, but it pisses me off when the think the audience is stupid.  Clearly some of them are, Lynn Hudson and her group come to mind, but come on, we see it’s not dinnertime.

They are each going to tell what their favorite part of the trip was and Alex goes first.  She is telling her story and is cut off and given a list of things she can choose from as her favorite. Everyone is bored of Alex.  It’s been a great trip to Morocco but I’m over it and ready for the girls to get back to the city.  Can’t wait to see how Ramona and Mario play out. This show is fabulous, even though it is incapable of keeping it real.

 

 

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