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November 21, 2011

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills:  The Recap

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/the_real_housewives_of_beverly_hills_the_recap_20111121/

Photo

Taylor Armskank

This show gets harder to watch each week.  By harder of course I mean with each week there is less to like about any of these women.  They are a disgusting group and I am embarrassed for them, since clearly they have no shame.  I find them all repulsive but Taylor takes the cake.

This week starts with the end of Lisa’s tea party, and Camille putting Taylor’s abuse out in the open.  I don’tI buy Taylor’s broken jaw story and when Camille sold her out she didn’t even bat an eyelash.  She seemed to be caught in a lie more than anything else.

Camille leaves, Taylor fake cries then makes up with Lisa in a painfully awkward way.  Taylor is in need of some serious medication and some acting lessons because her fake crying is laughable.  Lisa is sucked into the game, while Kyle is ready to stir the pot at any given moment.

We see Kim moving in with Ken and it’s creepy.  They seem nervous together and while I want to be happy for her, these two are using together and so any remote chance that I could be on their side is gone.  These two need to be on Celebrity Rehab not the Housewives.  Not a cute pair.

Over at Kyle’s, she is “making” grapes.  Really?  Who makes grapes?  Her pal Faye comes over and I’m surprised by how much she looks like a monkey.  She claims to be an abuse specialist and it’s stupid.  Kyle is a gossip and a drama queen and she is desperate to be relevant.

Lisa’s daughter is going to Vegas for her bachelorette party and it is going to be at The Hard Rock Casino.  Adrienne is going to be pissed about that.  Meanwhile Camille is having lunch with Kyle and Adrienne. Adrienne sticks her tongue out when she drinks and it’s disgusting.

I like Camille very much this season. I think Adrienne is a spoiled brat in desperate need of a makeover, and Kyle is a busybody who has a boring life and is in desperate need of fame.  Kyle, much like the last bachelorette Ashley, is always picking her teeth with her tongue.

It’s time for Kennedy’s 5th birthday party.  This child never seems to be happy which is sad.  That Taylor is putting on this fake and pretentious party for her child is disgusting.  She is a fame whore who married for money and cares about nothing but how fabulous her life looks.

The party is ridiculous and a kid does not care about all this crap.  Give them some candy, a cake, a couple of friends and some bubbles and they are good to go.  This was for the cameras and I’m ashamed for her.  Another ridiculous thing about this party was Dana.  She can go.

Can someone, anyone, explain to me why Taylor does not wear a bra? Ace Young from American Idol, a million years ago, is there and he is apparently hammered.  He cannot sing, needs to wash his hair, and is flirting with Taylor. Taylor is a skank, and by skank of course I mean whore.

Lisa is planning Pandora’s wedding and once again in a dress that is too small.  They are choosing invitations and the one they love is ugly.  Wedding planner Kevin Lee is back and he is fabulous.  Lisa is planning the party as if it’s for her and try as she might to seem real, she is fake.

Watching Russell at the birthday party is sad.  We will never know what really happened in their marriage, and we certainly can’t trust Taylor’s side of the story, but I cannot look at this show and not blame her.  I truly believe her appearance on this show is what did him in.

Brandi shows up to the party and it’s awkward.  I like her but this show was a mistake for her, and they don’t take her seriously, but if one of the new chicks is going to come back, let it be Brandi.  She is fun and Dana is forgettable.  If given a chance, Brandi could be great.

Taylor is bitching about Camille to Kyle and Kyle is listening intently so she can then gossip about it later.  Taylor is crazy.  She says she never should have shared personal information with Camille, but the fact is she shared it with all the ladies and with us.  This is her fault.

Adrienne arrives in a shirt that looks like she made it herself.  As we predicted, she is pissed off that Lisa is planning the bachelorette party at planet Hollywood not The Palms.  Who cares?  Kyle is worried about all the infighting in the group.  Right.  She’s happy as can be.

Kim is talking about her Disney life, again, when Brandi goes over to say hi.  The music is hilarious.  It’s a gunfight at the saloon and I can’t stop laughing.  Brandi tries to make peace but Kim is a bitch.  She’s still mad at Brandi for putting her drug addiction out on the table.

Sidebar:  I wonder if an addiction to crystal meth can cause you to mistake the sound of a horse for the sound of a cat.  Kim is an Arabian horse who meows.  I love Kim and she is entertaining as hell but this poor girl needs to get some help.  I feel sad for her and wish her well.

That this show continues to paint Russell as a monster is pathetic.  For Dana to bash Russell is sad since she told me they were friends.  I worry for Kennedy that she will grow up and see her mother ruined the reputation of her father. She might hate her mom when she grows up.

Ace sings for Kennedy and it’s a crap fest.  He sounded horrible and the song was stupid.  Are they kidding?  Ace is wasted and cannot hold a note.  Kennedy could care less about this mess her mother has put on for her.  Then Taylor and Russell give Kennedy a horse for a present.

Sidebar: Ellen Barkin on Watch what happens Live was perfection and I freaking love her.  She is a real Real Housewife of New York city and those trolls could learn something from her.  By troll of course I mean Ramona.  Rock on Ellen.  You can follow her @ellenbarkin and me @ilanaangel.

Dear Lord.  I want to scream. The only thing crazier than Taylor talking about her life is listening to Kyle talk about Taylor’s life. Other than Camille, I don’t like any of the women this year.  This show is a clusterf*%$ and I hate that I watch it.  Nobody is keeping it real.

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