Jewish Journal


May 20, 2012

The Bachelorette is Back and Surprisingly Good



I love the Bachelor/Bachelorette series.  By love of course I mean I am obsessed with it and the worse it becomes, Ashley, the more I want to blog about it.  I am a true romantic and believe love can be found for everyone. By everyone of course I mean everyone who is not on this show.  Statistically they have no shot in hell, but bravo for trying.

Emily Maynard is back as this season’s Bachelorette and to be honest I thought she would be a dud, but she is surprisingly fabulous.  We are only one show in so I reserve the right to change my mind, but as of now, it’s a winner and she is fabulous as the woman all the men want.  She is staying true to herself and including her kid, which is brilliant.

The show starts with a reintroduction to Emily and her story.  From the death of her fiancé, her finding out she is pregnant, to her being heartbroken by double loser Brad, she is now 26 and ready to once again look for love.  Within the first five minutes of the show we are reminded of how much we love this girl and want her to be happy.

Important to note that I do laugh a little when she speaks of how hard it is to be a single mother.  I raised my son alone and it was not in a house like that, or driving a car like that.  Being lonely is difficult and raising a child without the help of a partner can be debilitating, but I can assure you doing it in that house would make it a lot better.

Chris Harrison is back as the most useless host on television.  He is now separated after 18 years of marriage and it’s impossible to watch and not think he will fall in love with Emily along with all the men on the show.  Keep an eye out for his longing stares and compassionate touches.  He barely does anything so he’ll have time for cold showers.

Here is a breakdown of the 25 men who are going after our girl.  I love it that the show keeps calling them the most eligible bachelors in America. Really? If this is the best America has to offer it might be time for Emily to relocate to Canada.  There are some winners to be sure, but I would pass on more than I would keep.  Nice bodies though.

The season is taking place in Charlotte, which is awesome.  I like that she is staying home so as to not disrupt her daughter.  When she gets out of the car to see Chris I think I actually saw him drooling.  So good!  Sidebar: Emily keeps saying awesome which was cute the first few times, but now just sounds ridiculous.  People over 25 should not say awesome.

Sean:  Cute, sweet, boring entrance, nothing memorable
David:  singer/songwriter, looking for 15 minutes - OUT
Doug: single dad, talks about his son, love him
Jackson: gets on his knee, says something lame - OUT
Joe:  super animated, not a shot in hell
Arie: racecar driver, cute, Jew?
Kyle:  drooling, looks at her as if she is naked, icky
Chris: sweet, religious, strong family, nervous, she dug him
Aaron: biology teacher, Clark Kent glasses, not very memorable
Alessandro:  from Brazil, cute enough, not a shot in hell
Jef:  skateboarder, seems immature, has a bit of a gay vibe
Lerone:  great body, single mom speech, not a shot in hell - OUT
Stevie:  party DJ.  Really?  Not ever going to happen
Charlie:  recovered from bad accident, best dog ever, I love him
Tony:  single dad, wife cheated, Prince Charming?  Lame and creepy
Randy: came dressed as a grandma, cute but no - OUT
Nate: attractive, she likes him, holds his hand and likes his smell
Brent: harmless but she is way out of his league - OUT
John:  goes by “Wolf”, never going to happen
Travis:  brings her a large egg, very weird, I didn’t get him
Michael:  his hair rules him out immediately, there is just no way
Jean-Paul: nothing appealing about this one - OUT
Alejandro: speaks in Spanish, needs to lose the bling
Ryan: ex pro athlete who works with kids, I really like this one
Kalen:  pretentious douchebag who likes the sound of his own voice

It’s an interesting group of men and my top three picks for her are Ryan, Charlie and Doug.  I will be surprised if one of them is not in the final.  That said, a great guy can become a douchelord in a split second so it may be too early to tell.  I love this show.  By love it of course I also mean love to hate it and it is my favorite show to blog.

Emily is sweet.  She is nice to all the men and makes them feel like they have a shot when clearly they do not.  Love it.  Brent tells her he has six kids, which is deal breaker. Chris gives her bobble heads of himself and her, and they are fabulous.  Listening to the men sit around and talk about her is like listening to a bunch of chicks.

One on one they are men, but as a group they are cackling hens which is hilarious.  Doug, the single dad, gives her a note that his 11 year old son Austin wrote.  It is the best letter ever and made me cry.  Dear Lord, I love this man, love his kid, and love them together.  He just shot to the top of the list.  He’s milking it but in a sweet way.

Kalon is immediately the man that all the other men hate.  They are openly critical of him and it makes them all look like a bunch of sensitive chicks. Kalon is talking to Emily and it is pissing men off.  He is pulling the single mother card as he was raised by one.  If she picks him it’s because the producers made her do it.  They have no chemistry.

Arie tells Emily he is a racecar driver and she assures him it is okay, but her initial look is heart wrenching. She is a southern belle and a lady through and through.  I can’t wait for her to be pushed too far by a loser and lose it for a minute.  It’s coming and I bet even when being a bitch, she is a lady.  She is off to hand out the first impression rose.

It goes to Doug, the single dad who brought the letter from his son.  Perfect choice.  He looks at her with a little awe, which I think is romantic and so lovely.  He accepts the rose and while I don’t know if he is the one she will end up with, they are cute together. The other men are whining and complaining which is simply wonderful television.

Six men are sent home and it’s brilliant.  There is crying and self pity which I must tell you is worth sitting through all the crap.  It’s fascinating to me how upset people get after knowing someone for a couple of hours.  They are onvinced they are missing out on their one true and great love.  The guy with six kids is actually surprised he got the boot.  Really?

I thought Emily might be a little tight to really enjoy herself, but when we see highlights of the season, we see she is making out with a lot of the men. Good for her.  We learn there will be a snake in the house and the other men will sell him out.  We will even hear Emily drop an F Bomb, which is killer. I am in it and cannot wait to see how it all plays out.

There will be weeks where I want to pop my own eyes out, weeks where I will need a bottle of wine just to get through it, and weeks when my heart soars at the romance of it all.  I am watching and look forward to blogging and your comments.  Love is grand and while this show never works, I watch with an open heart and hope that Emily can keep it real.


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