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April 23, 2012

Real Housewives of New Jersey: It’s On!

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/real_housewives_of_new_jersey_its_on_20120423/

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The Lady & the Caveman

It feels like we have been waiting for this show to air forever.  The trailers Bravo has been showing have been fabulous and made the anticipation even greater.  They are making it appear as if this will be a season of Teresa bashing so that will be interesting.  She is clearly the breakout star, the most famous and popular of the ladies, so of course there will be problems.

We start the show by recapping a few things from last year and we are quickly reminded that of all the housewives franchises, this is the best television. They are the most authentic women in terms of family dynamics. Plus every group has their kids on, and in terms of entertainment value, this is the best bunch of kids.  Jersey is back, so let the blogging begin!

This season was shot last summer so we already know how half the storylines will play out but it does not matter.  They are compelling and we are all going to get hooked.  I’m 2 minutes into the show and I’m already excited about next week.  Everyone is getting ready to go to the shore for the summer and we start with Kathy and Melissa hanging by the pool.

Teresa’s cookbook has come out and everyone is pissed off about it.  They think what she wrote about all of them is untrue and so rather than talk to Teresa about it, they are going to bash her on camera so that we can see the true depth of their jealousy.  Love it.  Melissa, Joe, Kathy and Richie are together and Richie is starting up trouble with the book.

Melissa is acting holier than thou about the book, and Kathy is trying to take the high road but it is an epic failure.  These people cannot stand Teresa and how popular she has become.  Richie is rude, Kathy is a bitch, Melissa is jealous, and Joe does not hesitate to bash his sister on camera. Kathy’s sister Rosie is there, and this chick seriously needs her own show.

There is a BBQ happening at Jac’s house with Caroline and her brood, and Teresa and her bunch.  Jac talked last year about how she was done and not coming back, yet here she is.  This woman is a bore and her need to humiliate her daughter, no matter how out of line this child is, is gross to me.  She should be ashamed of what she does to Ashley on camera for all to see.

Caroline and her children are all a little heavier, and a little crankier.  By cranky of course I mean their jealously of Teresa follows them around like a cloud over their heads.  They used to all be such good friends and it is proof that jealousy can rip lives apart.  The Manzo’s are sad Black Water is a such a flop and they blame Teresa.  This season is going to be fabulous.

Important to note that I have interviewed Teresa Guidice and Melissa Gorga recently and I found Teresa to be fabulous and Melissa shady.  Teresa was very open and funny. Melissa was also very open, but her answers were rehearsed.  She was lovely, but Teresa was real.  I liked Teresa more than I liked Melissa, but this is not a blog about who I like or don’t like as people, just on the show.

My conversations were not about the show..  I don’t know these women, and talking for an hour or tweeting back and forth does not make them my friends.  They were both great ladies off the show with me, but on the show I think there is a simplicity to Teresa that is nice, and a complicated web to Melissa that is not so nice, but who cares?  It’s just television right?

Teresa arrives and nobody is thrilled to see her.  Teresa takes Caroline outside to clear the ar.  She knows Caroline is pissed about the cookbook, so she tries to ease the tension.  She tells her she meant no harm and the things Caroline is upset about were just jokes.  Teresa was in fact out of line in her book, but the reaction of everyone is over the top because of jealousy.

Caroline is bitter and it shows.  Jacqueline is stupid and it shows.  Teresa is oblivious and it shows.  Everyone is getting ready to go to the shore and it’s hilarious.  Teresa has the funniest and most beautiful kids.  Gia is like a grown up and Melania is perfect television. Juicy Joe is obviously embarrassed by his troubles and is not a happy or kind camper.

Jac has a meeting with her life coach and I am laughing at the fact that she is paying someone to come to her house to say her life sucks and she needs to change it.  Read my blog for free Jac, or have an honest moment on Twitter and people will tell you what to do.  I just don’t like Jac on this show. She is not honest, changes her sides constantly, and favors her sons.

Ashley has gone blonde, has no direction, and is taking advantage of her mother and step-father.  She is 20 and treading water instead of swimming forward.  Jac acts like its Ashley’s fault, but she created this monster.  Jac is always crying or yelling about Ashley.  It’s going to be a long season if we need to sit through this each week.  Still laughing at the life coach.

We head over to Melissa and Joe’s house and the “Lets Bash Teresa Show” really gets started.  Sad they feel the need to bash her in front of their kids, but whatever. I get that Joe is defending his wife to his sister, but why throw his sister under the bus?  Melissa talks about Teresa and how she is manipulative but there is something about Melissa that does not ring true.

Teresa and Joe are off to the shore and it’s sad.  Teresa is driving because Joe has no license.  Joe is being a pig.  He is rude, abrasive with his kids, and it’s uncomfortable.  Gia is obviously aware of the gossip and it is heartbreaking.  I feel for Teresa and think she stays with Joe for her kids, because his humiliation and disrespect of her is too much for her to stay for love.

Caroline is going through menopause and she thinks that could be what’s making her cranky.  News flash, she was a bitch long before the menopause kicked in.  Back at the shore, Joc and Melissa have a house, but it’s under construction so they go to stay with Kathy.  Silly part is that Melissa acts shocked the house is not ready.  Like she didn’t know?  So scripted.

Teresa tells Joe about Gia being old enough to understand his legal troubles, that he might go to jail, and cheats on Teresa.  Joe could care less.  He is not sympathetic to his kids, or compassionate to his wife.  He has ruined his life and does not care that he taking his family down with him.  Joe is a caveman and Teresa’s unwavering love and support for him needs to stop.

Over at Kathy’s everyone is talking about Teresa.  Again.  All any of then seem to be talking about is Teresa and it’s very predictable so they better start giving us something more or we’ll be bored before long.  Teresa’s kids are hilarious and I would watch an hour of a camera following Melania around. Teresa needs to get her own show, and an English tutor.

Kathy, Teresa and Melissa’s families are on the beach.  The kids are together and it’s nice.  Juicy Joe is being a pig, while Richie is telling Joe Gorga he needs to reach out to Teresa and let her know he has her back. Richie is nice one minute and talking trash the next.  He’s cute and funny, but he needs to decide who he is going to be on the show and stick to it.

Caroline and her daughter Lauren are out for a walk with Jac and bashing Teresa and her book.  Lauren is wearing a Black Water t-shirt and they are also drinking it.  They are the only ones drinking it because it is gross.  I’m sure the Manzo’s are pissed Teresa has turned the show into a way to make lots of money and they have not been able to make that happen.

Teresa and Joe Gorga go off to talk on their own and it is the bipolar segment.  I hear Joe talk and I believe him, then Teresa responds and I believe her.  It’s crazy.  Only they know the truth and depending on how many sips of wine I’ve had, I go back and forth like a tennis match picking sides.  These two are really great television but I am embarrassed and sad for them.

I love Teresa and I love Joe so it’s hard to watch them always fighting. Teresa is trying to pull the blinds shut on her life and Joe pulls the same blinds on his wife.  In the end they need each other and should get it all worked out.  Easier said than done when you factor Juicy and Melissa into the mix.  Those two are as responsible as Teresa and Joe for the problems.

Chris tells Ashley she needs to move out of his house and go back to Vegas. Her hair is blonde, eyebrows are black, injections have ruined her face, and she is wearing the wrong lipstick.  This kid is a mess.  She cannot make a decision, which makes her just like her mother.  Jac is punishing Ashley for being just like her.  Ashley needs to find a pole and settle in.

Too harsh?  No.  If your kid is out drinking every night with friends, is Vegas really the place you should be sending her too?  What will she do there?  I’m guessing a pole or perhaps a bar tending license are in her future.  Jac is failing with this kid and needs to stop blaming and stop enabling.  Kick her in the ass and keep her close, don’t ship her off.

And so the first episode of season four comes to an end.  It was mellow with no real excitement, but it certainly set the tone for what is to come.  I fear this season will be a hate Teresa marathon.  By fear of course I mean hooray for great television.  I am setting aside personal favorites and watching the show with an open mind.  Time will tell if they will be keeping it real.

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