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January 23, 2012

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season Finale Recap

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/real_housewives_of_beverly_hills_season_finale_recap_20120123/

Photo

The happy and beautiful couple.

This day did not come soon enough.  The season is over and I am thrilled.  This was a painful show to watch for a lot of reasons.  There was darkness and crap, with very little light or fun.  Some of the best moments of the season were with Brandi and she was nowhere to be seen.

Before we talk about the most anticlimactic show ever, let me just say that I’m a little pissed off.  I sat through an entire season of lies, bad editing, and ridiculously manipulated scenes, and as a thank you,  Bravo wasted an hour of my time by ending with a long fizzle.

The show starts with wedding preparations for Pandora.  Lisa is rather charming, and while she has been hit and miss for me all season, I find myself understanding her better and finding her to be rather entertaining.  I’m happy for her and Ken and it’s nice to see the plans.

Important to note that while I love weddings, to spend an entire hour on a wedding is a waste of my time and an insult to my loyalty as a viewer.  We don’t know Pandora that well so there is no vested interest in her.  Again, it was nice to see, but it should have been a wedding special, not the finale.

Adrienne has gone with Paul to get him colonoscopy.  She tells us she went to be supportive of her husband.  Really?  She has been horrible to him all season and now we are supposed to buy that she is the supportive wife?  Are these chicks stupid, or do they just think we are all stupid?

In the waiting room they are bickering about how many procedures he’s had. Paul thinks it has been one.  Adrienne says he has actually had four, and makes her point by holding up three fingers.  Bravo to Paul for sharing his experience, but really Bravo?  Are you high?

The only things that happened for the entire hour were the wedding colonoscopy and I cannot write about Paul passing gas, or Adrienne making fun of him.  It was ridiculous, embarrassing, and not even worth writing about.  I don’t think this will inspire people to get a colonoscopy.

Back to the wedding, do we need to spend 12 minutes watching them set up the tent? Are 8 shots of different people carrying flowers riveting television?  Is watching all 6 pieces of the cake being carried in necessary? How did they manage to stretch nothing into an hour of television?

To insult us further, we are then asked to watch Kyle and Mauricio select wedding clothes for five minutes.  I cannot mention Kyle and not add that I think she is self-centered, rude, mean, boring and selfish. This chick is straight up mean and her “friends” should watch their backs.

Camille invites a friend over to help her select her dress for the wedding, which is weird because she has already selected the dress.  This is yet another waste of time to fill time.  The friend came for nothing but to watch Camille put on make up and let us know she has started to date.

It’s now two minutes of make up artist jokes and I want to kill myself, which is odd because it’s usually Taylor who makes people want to die and we’ve not seen her.  Too harsh?  I feel bad for Lisa that their special day was used to manipulate an hour of television.  Cheapens it a little.

Lisa is waiting for Pandora to come down and she sees her housekeeper who is all dressed up and she tells her to go up and borrow a pair of her heals if she wants.  I’m not sure why, but I thought it was really sweet.  What does it say about this hour that this was a great moment?

Lisa seeing Pandora was lovely and I started to cry.  Her emotion was touching.  Over at Adrienne’s everyone has gathered to go over to the wedding together.  For some reason Camille is talking about converting to Judaism which was odd.  I didn’t get where that came from.

Adrienne comes in and her hair makes me crazy.  Can she not run a brush through her hair?  She has never once had her hair look like anything but a birds nest and it’s annoying.  From her belted shirts, shoulder pads, and hair, it is the 1980’s again and she is a hot, hot, hot mess.

It’s wedding time and yes it’s beautiful, but I’m over it.  There is no Kim, Dana, or Brandi, just a whole lot of wedding.  I love listening to Lisa talk about her kids and the wedding, but again, this could have been a wedding special with Lisa and Kevin, and should not have been the finale.

Lisa and Ken give speeches and they are beautiful.  Lisa is a truly stunning woman and I like to look at her.  The wedding is finally over and we are jumping ahead three weeks to Kyle’s house where she is having the girls over for a fake dinner so we think they all care about each other.

Kyle annoys me to no end and hearing her talk about her sister makes me angry.  I think she is more concerned with people thinking she is the good one, than the actual well being of her sister.  Just my opinion, and to be clear, one that the show gave me.  Then Taylor and Kennedy come in.

Are they kidding?  The child does not show her face and I can only imagine what that little girl carries around in her heart and mind.  In the end this show was more frustrating than entertaining and I don’t believe that any of them are actual friends.  They share this show, but that is all.

The reunion will be good and so we can look forward to that.  One could argue that after such a brutal season, to end it with something so beautiful was a good call.  Let’s go with that.  It was a perfect wedding and we can get our closure at the reunion.  Let’s hope they can keep it real.

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