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March 5, 2013

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – French Fried

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We are still in Paris with the ladies and while I love the scenery, the Richards woman are giving me a severe lower back pain.  Dear Lord, those two hags need to get off my TV.  We start off with Yolanda and Brandi working out along the Seine.  Brandi is sick so I’m not buying the work out, but the conversation is nice and the two of them together are fun.

Kyle and her douchebag go to visit a lover’s bridge to place a lock symbolizing their love.  Kyle is wearing the ugliest pants ever made, her witchy warts are not looking good in the Paris light, and her shoe selection to walk the streets of Paris is ridiculous.  I think Kyle and Mauricio are fake and only look longingly into each other’s eyes to see their own reflections.

Giggy is out for a stroll with Ken, Lisa and Kim.  Kim is slurring her words, distracted by everything, and clearly medicated. I feel uncomfortable watching.  Kim blogged she was acting strange due to taking the wrong meds, but that is crap.  She is using, we can all see it, and Bravo should respect her enough to let her go.

Kim tells Lisa she is not close to Kyle but trying, and Lisa tells Kim she is not close to Kyle and not really trying that hard.  Lisa and Kim are suffering bad Paris shoe selections also.  What were they thinking?  Ken and Lisa are sweet, and Kim is lovely, but the star of the entire scene is Giggy.

Yolanda wins for the best shoes for walking through Paris.  She is with Lisa and Ken but I don’t get the editing.  They say they were with Kim but she went back to the hotel. It seems weird they are now with Yolanda.  The forced time together is part of the game but it needs to be edited better.

They are all speaking of Kim coming out of rehab and her obvious relapse, and I think it is shady.  How is it that Bravo allows everyone to talk about what is an obvious problem, yet allow her to continue on a show that stresses her out to much she cannot stop using?  Kim is Frech fried.

The ladies are off to cooking class and wait until they get to the car to notice Kim is missing.  Sidebar:  Kyle is again wearing hideous pants. Dear Kyle, you should never wear white pants and certainly not when standing next to Yolanda or Brandi wearing white pants.  Nice camel toe.

Kim fell asleep in her room and that is why she is late.  You get tired when you take tranquilizers I guess. Everyone gossips about Kim relapsing and Kyle manages to make it all about her.  SHE is worried, SHE does not know what is happening, SHE is hurt by Kim’s behavior. Blah, blah, blah.

Kim apologizes for being late and Lisa asks if she took a sleeping pill.  Not nice Lisa.  I believe Lisa’s timeline but do not think her humiliating Kim in front of the group was necessary. I love Lisa but she could take a lesson or two from Brandi on this episode.  Kim starts crying.

Lisa talks about her addiction and it is sad.  Kyle is thrilled by her sister’s problems because it means she gets more camera time.  Lisa goes out to the car, against Brandi’s advice, to check on her.  She is sincere in her worry but she shouldn't have never gone out.  Kim is a mess.

Lisa says she was being lighthearted which I guess she thought she was, but really?  The woman just got out of rehab, is clearly using, so a lighthearted joke about popping sleeping pills is not the way to go.  They wait for the Richard girls so they can start their French cooking class.

Brandi is not feeling well, but she is lovely in terms of her view of Kim.  She is supportive, guides the others on how to deal with her, and completely offensive in that she is sick and looks fabulous.  Who looks like that when sick?  Damn you Brandi. No red nose or puffy eyes?

They are making duck and cut his head off.  It is repulsive and not just because I am a vegetarian.  It was horrific and I’m not into it.  They start their lesson and just as revolting as the beheading of the duck, is Kyle’s hair in the kitchen.  Couldn’t she put it up so won’t touch the food?

Lisa is talking to Kyle to see if Kim is okay and Kyle makes it all about her. Honestly, this woman is just too much.  Mauricio and Ken are off to join the ladies for dinner to eat their duck.  The girls make hearts for their hubs and Brandi puts an “FU” on hers. Porn 101.  Brandi is good TV.

Brandi and Kim talk and it makes Kyle crazy because she is being eaten alive by her jealousy of Brandi. Lisa talks to Mauricio about Kim and the drama of the day, but the editing is just off.  I do not believe for one minute that Lisa started up that conversation on her own.

Kyle, Kim, Yolanda and Mauricio are shopping and Vile uses the opportunity to plug her new store.  Kyle says it is stupid for her to buy things in Paris because she will carry them in her store.  Really?  Kyle is an idiot and her self-absorption makes my eye twitch and me angry,

Kim is bitching to Kyle and Yolanda about Lisa, and encouraging them to talk to her about her bad behavior.  Kyle says she has kept neutral and apologized to Lisa until she was blue in the face.  Cut to shots of Kyle not apologizing to Lisa.  The Richards sisters are bitches. For real.

Mauricio buys Kim a pocketbook as a gift.  Whatever.  Kyle is carrying what appears to be Whole Foods shopping bag around Paris.  Whatever.  Mauricio and Ken go for a segway tour of Paris.  Whatever.  The scenes with the husbands are simply asking too much of me.  Who cares?

The ladies are off to the Eiffel Tower. Paris is divine.  Kyle confronts Lisa, again, to talk about her, again.  Lisa is over it and has no idea why they are hashing it out, again.  Yolanda and Kim eavesdrop and it is so lame. Lisa could care less and before we know it Kyle is fake crying.

Just when I think Kyle can’t get any grosser, she says Lisa only has room for Brandi.  How old is she?  Kyle tells the camera she has been replaced and I am laughing.  What a pathetic bitch.  She insists Lisa tell her she loves her and it is just insane.  I love Lisa and am repulsed by Kyle.

Next week the ladies are back from Paris and Kyle finally has the opening of her store.  Taylor is back and confronts Yolanda so that should be fun. I can’t wait for it to be over so the dead weight of Taylor and Adrienne is gone.  If we can get rid of Kim and Kyle, we can start keeping it real.

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