March 31, 2013
Real Housewives of Atlanta Finale Boredom
We begin the end with Kenya meeting with her event team as she is planning a party to celebrate powerful black women. Good for her. She is beautiful in her interview segments, but in the real life segments this chick is greasy and has very bad skin. She also appears to be a different color in every interview, much like Adrienne Maloof. She is all kinds of crazy.
Kandi is with Phaedra who is designing a stun gun for women. Dear Lord. Let’s start with her boobs shall we? Phaedra is torturing those poor little grapes by trying to make them look like melons. She needs to get a boob job and call it a day. Her new venture, “Phaedra Sparks” is another attempt to whore herself out for money. Dead people and stun guns. Classy.
Porsha and Kordell are in therapy and he is a total douchelord. We all now know they are getting divorced and it will be nasty, but he truly is a schmuck. Douche is very aware of the cameras and he is playing to them. I feel bad for Porsha because she says they are not on the same page and she may need to move on. Poor Porsha was about to get served.
It is time for Kenya’s party, which she likens to a wedding. Poor girl is so desperate for a wedding she is throwing a fake one. Bless her. Porsha is picking out her costume, as is Cynthia. I am fascinated by the bodies of these women. The curves are fabulous and the tight clothes to cover them are spectacular. These women own what they have and I love it.
Porsha is Halle Berry from a movie I don’t know, and Cynthia is Dianna Ross circa Mahogany, which is one of my favorite movies. She is perfection. It is party time and you know something bad is going to happen. Kandi comes as Tina Turner. Not really. Todd comes as Kanye West but doesn’t know it. Sidebar: Cynthia thinks valet parking is pulling out the stops?
Kenya is Foxy Brown and she looks great. Porsha will not be made a fool of so she comes as Dorothy Dandridge and looks gorgeous. Kenya is pissed off and I am excited about it. Is that bad? Kenya goes to Porsha and lets her know how disrespectful it is. Porsha is a bitch in addition to being stupid. Porsha is classy and gorgeous damn it. Then is happens.
Kenya asks Porsha to leave and has her escorted out. Ouch. Porsha is embarrassed and insulted, but she leaves. Kandi and Cynthia leave right after her. Really? They have bee out to screw over Kenya from day one and this is just sad. Cynthia gets on the phone to NeNe and gossips about it, which is stupid, so Kenya goes out to talk to them.
Kenya is a loon but I get it. Porsha should have just stuck with the program. Porsha is demanding an apology and I would have smacked her. Bless Kenya for sucking it up. She is trying to save her party and I am embarrassed for all of them. Kenya won’t give Porsha what she wants and I am with her on it. Dear Lord. These women should not be on television.
Kordell is now fighting with Brandon and I am laughing. Kordell is a freak and Porsha will be counting her blessing soon enough that she is rid of him. NeNe arrives as Grace Jones and Phaedra comes as Eartha Kitt as Cat Women. She pulls out the stun gun and I am so glad the season is over so we can stop watching her be a money whore. Enough.
NeNe talks to Kenya and gets her to climb down off the ledge and gets her to apologize to Porsha. NeNe is a superstar swimming in a sea of trolls. Listening to her opinion of everyone’s costume is hilarious. I think it is time for them to shut down production on Real Housewives of Atlanta. We can get our fix of Atlanta craziness from Married to Medicine.
The show ends with no big bang, probably because these women are boring as hell. The reunion however, looks like it will be good. I am happy this slow moving train is done and I am now off to blog the new ladies of Atlanta on Married to Medicine. I will see you back here for the reunion. Make sure you have wine because they may finally keep it real.