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May 14, 2012

Goodbye to The Real Housewives of New Jersey

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/goodbye_to_the_real_housewives_of_new_jersey_20120514/

Photo

Andy Cohen

It is official: Bravo does not care about the fans.  Those who helped build the network are now being disrespected on a mind-boggling level. They feed us crap every week, and expect us to eat it with a smile on our faces.  We may be addicted, but we know the difference between crack and crap.  We like crack, but we can and will do without the crap.

I watched this week’s episode twice.  Once was difficult, but since I am paid to blog about it, I thought perhaps I was being too harsh and decided to watch again.  The second time gave me the clarity I needed to be able to share with you that I am no longer going to be blogging because this show has gone to hell and I’m too smart to watch it.

This show is mean, dark, uninteresting, and boring.  These women are mean, dark, uninteresting, and boring.  There are two camps when it comes to the women of New Jersey, Team Teresa and Team Melissa.  I am a fan of both of these ladies for different reasons, and rather than pick a side, I will simply not watch it anymore.  Both of them are behaving badly.

Sidebar: I have interviewed both Teresa and Melissa over the phone.  Teresa was honest, open, and unscripted.  Melissa was sweet, funny, and clearly rehearsed.  Basing my opinion on my conversations with them, without the benefit of Bravo editing, Teresa was authentic, Melissa was not.  Teresa was honest, Melissa was not. 

Kathy and Rich are embarrassing.  Rich is trying to be relevant in the same way Slade does in the OC.  The fame has gone to his head and he talks crap to appear to be interesting, but in the end he sounds like a schmuck.  Kathy is two faced.  She talks about how she wants to support Teresa because she is family, but then gossips about her constantly.

Kathy and Rich have tried to parlay the show into other ventures and it’s just not happening for them.  Kathy never should have been a housewife. They should have cast her sister Rosie, who is perfect television.  Kathy came on sweet and innocent, and her family was lovely, but now she is manipulative and clearly bitter she is not making bank like Teresa.

Caroline is horrific.  She came on the show talking about the importance of family, yet she is spending her time trying to break up a family that is not hers.  She is trying to get sympathy by saying she is going through menopause, but it is not working.  She is an angry old hag whose kids are useless, and she is clearly upset she is not making bank like Teresa.

Melissa is a fame whore who is so jealous of her sister-in-law that she is making it impossible for her husband to have any relationship with the sister that he loves.  It has become clear she is causing problems for Teresa and it’s sad because love Teresa or hate her, she is simple but sweet, and just trying to live in a bubble, which under the circumstances, I understand.

Jacqueline is not made for television.  She is boring, wishy-washy, and painfully uninteresting.  She has chosen to focus her love and attention on her new husband and children, excluding her daughter Ashlee, then spends all her time fake crying, complaining about Ashlee being unable to get her life together, and wondering shy she hates her mom so much.  Really?

Teresa seems lovely to me.  She is in person just as she is on television, and I think part of the problem for her, apart from her husband being a putz, is that she is the breakout star who turned her time on the show into an actual career, and the other women cannot stand her for it.  She is not particularly articulate, or familiar with English, but she is funny, kind, and great TV.

I started out wanting to blog this episode as a goodbye, but in the end I can’t do it.  It is a waste of my time to write a blog that will recount the endless attacks on each other. These women should be ashamed of themselves.  It is humiliating for their children to see what they have become, and they don’t seem to understand their kids will see it all.

I stopped blogging about The Real Housewives and OC, Atlanta, and Beverly Hills.  I am now also done with New Jersey.  I will give the new ladies of New York City a chance, but I’m guessing they will not be able to suck me in for the whole season.  This franchise revolutionized reality television and for all the good it did, it is now doing bad.  This show is no longer good.

The secret to keeping The Real Housewives franchise alive is to completely recast the show every 3 years.  It is the only way, and while the fans have all figured it out, Bravo has its nose so far up Andy Cohen’s ass, they have not yet noticed.  Andy Cohen is a genius, which makes his lapse of judgment hard to understand and impossible to forgive.  Andy Cohen sold out.

And so this shall be my farewell blog to New Jersey.  I’m sure I will watch on occasion, when I hear something interesting has happened, but my weekly RHoNJ is over.  I suppose I could change my mind because in the words of the divine Mr. Justin Bieber, never say never.  That said, Justin pulling up his pants is more likely than Bravo or Andy Cohen ever keeping it real.

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