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March 18, 2013

Celebrity Apprentice – Week 3 Recap

http://www.jewishjournal.com/blog/item/celebrity_apprentice_week_3_recap/

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I love this show and while I miss a cast of regular people, there is nothing more entertaining than watching famous people humiliate themselves by being themselves.  We are not watching characters, they are being them and more often than not, they are ridiculous and not that appealing. Most of them would be better served to stay away from reality television.  That said, without reality TV Marilu Henner is not getting a paycheck.

Gary Busey is an angel in an earth suit and I believe it.  Well, I believe that he believes it.  He is harmless, very entertaining and Marilu Henner and her pantyhose better back the hell off.  Leave him alone bitch. For Real.  The show stars with Omarosa giving a check for 40K to Michael Clark Duncan’s favorite charity.  She cries with n tears but I don’t care.  This chick is hell on wheels but I want her to win, fake crying or not.

Crystal Light is back to push their new liquid drink and the teams are to make a 5 minute live soap opera.  La Toya is the Project Manager for her team with Stephen Baldwin for the others.  Arsenio is there to help judge, along with Ivanka.  It is weird that it is a soap opera challenge but Lisa Rinna does not want to be the PM.  That is how she got famous and she thinks she can’t do it?  Lisa Rinna is an idiot and her days are numbered.

Stephen Baldwin is a dumbass.  I’m not sure being a loser brother to a genius qualifies you as a celebrity, but here he is, hopefully not for long.  Penn gets exactly how moronic Baldwin is, which makes me love Penn.  Over to the others. La Toya Jackson is unbelievable.  She is a cartoon and I am truly surprised by how mean spirited she is.  Granted Omarosa is a hardcore, La Toya is a bitch.  Another loser sibling of a genius being called a celebrity.

There is no way this show needs to be 2 hours long and is clearly suffering from the same ego as The bachelor.  This show could be an hour and be perfect.  They do a lot of recapping here.  Before the commercial we see what is coming up.  We don’t need to see it because we are already watching. I hate it when a show des not respect her viewers.  We don’t need recapping Mr. Trump.  We want to watch a show not a review of a show.

Omarosa starts to intimidate la Toya but she does not stand a chance and is about to be eaten alive.  Omarosa responds to La Toya standing up for herself by singing some Michael Jackson, which I thought was shitty.  There is a reason Omarosa is labeled a villain.  She not only attacks you, but kills you in a way that leaves you dying a slow and painful death. She takes pleasure in the torture, which on reality TV, is perfection.

La Toya says that it must have been Omarosa that caused Michael Clark Duncan’s heart attack and it is just too much.  I think it was hideous of her to say and she should be ashamed of herself.  Omarosa is off to shop for her task and calls La Toya every 5 minutes to get permission and it is hilarious. She is not going down and masterfully protects herself throughout the entire day. La Toya is so dumb she cannot save herself.

Brandi, the Playboy chick, might actually be dumber than La Toya.  She makes up some word and I cannot stop laughing at her.  I guess when you’re that pretty somethings gotta give.  Susan Lucci comes to help Stephen’s team and Trace is drooling all over her.  It is not cute as much as it is creepy.  Over with the others, they get jack Wagner to help them with their soap.  Jack Wagner ahs not aged well and looks like a turtle.

Arsenio visits both teams to see how they are doing and there is no denying that he is charming.  I really like Arsenio and am glad Celebrity Apprentice brought him back into the spotlight.  The teams are rehearsing and I am bored.  Why do we need to watch the rehearsal if we are going to watch the real thing?  Lame.  Omarosa gets a call from home and needs to leave the task.  Everyone wishes her well but then complains that she left.

Omarosa was with Michael Clark Duncan when he suffered a massive heart attack and the 911 calls are about to be released so she needed to go and take care of it.  We don’t know what was involved, or why she needed to leave, but she did so who cares?  Omarosa is going to talk her way out of anything so the judgment of the others for why she left is a waste of time. She will come looking fragile and they will look heartless.

Sidebar:  I am laughing at myself that I wrote Omarosa will look fragile. Really?  There is nothing fragile about her but I have been drinking wine and once I wrote it, I thought it was funny I left it in.  Omarosa fragile?  That’s a perfect drunk blog statement.  Hilarious.  Claudio takes over the part Omarosa was to do.  Lil Jon is a hoot, Dennis Rodman is fascinating, Omarosa is brilliant, and the others can all go home right now.

Stephen Baldwin in on a power trip and I’m annoyed they will win because it means we are stuck with him for longer.  I honestly cannot stand this guy. Marilu Henner started the show wearing pantyhose, and is now wearing a fanny pack.  Dear Lord.  How old is this woman?  She cannot let go of the 70’s.  Bless her.  Omarosa returns talking crap about not wanting to let them down.  I’m exhausted and we have another hour to go.

I am skipping over the soap opera performances because they are painful. Cut to the boardroom, Omarosa and La Toya are going at it.  Over with Stephen, he says Gary was the weak link, which is lame.  Busey is odd, but he is doing what is asked of him.  These people are trying to get rid of Gary and it is transparent and stupid.  They all look pathetic every time they pick on him and we are reminded why they are former celebrities.

Arsenio is talking about Omarosa leaving and explains that she needed to take care of Michael and so she left.  She sounds heartbroken and their voice is appropriately quivering, but she is not crying.  She turns it on and off like a faucet, albeit a faucet with no running water.  This chick is out of control and if she were ever in prison she’d be the Queen.   In the end Stephen wins and 50K goes to breast cancer research.

Gary Busey is crying because they keep hurting his feelings and he refuses to shake Baldwin’s hand, which is awesome.   Baldwin is a schmuck and Gary is perfection.  Time for someone to get fired, but not before Trump has a conversation about tattoos.  Trump is weird but oddly likeable.  La Toya is trying to make it sound like Omarosa was to blame but the truth is she had nothing to do with the loss. Omarosa is not taking any of it personally.

La Toya is unable to defend herself and starts digging her own grave. Omarosa is actually easting Ms. Jackson alive and much like a lion eating a gazelle in the wild, we cannot turn away from the carnage.  Claudia tries to play innocent and Omarosa starts after her too.  Omarosa is the best thing about this show.  In a moment of true madness, La Toya asks for permission to fire Omarosa.  Dear Lord.  She is just too dumb to believe.

La Toya says she thinks Omarosa is a witch and she does not like her.  Then is what can only be blamed on mental deficiency, La Toya picks Brandi and Dennis to go up for firing, not Omarosa, who just wanted to fire herself. Poor girl.  She is scared of Omarosa that she backs down.  Oy Vey.  Trump gives her several chances to change her mind, but she sticks to her original choices.  This chick needs to be medicated and Trump knows it.

La Toya leaves in tears.  Not because she was fired, but because she realized exactly how stupid she was and that is upsetting to her delicate mind.  In the car ride farewell confessional she says that Omarosa is a snake and probably pulled the cord on Michael Clarke Duncan.  Really?  Jackson is a heartless and stupid bitch and I am glad she is gone.  Next week the attack on Omarosa and Busey continues so I’ll be here, keeping it real.

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