Posted by Ilana Angel
This show is exhausting to watch. The women are so full of crap that it’s as if we are watching full blown scripted television, written by really bad writers, and staring really bad actresses. Even the ones I like are becoming unappealing. Never mind that watching Russell feels dirty.
This week picks up at the White Party, where Taylor and Russell have been kicked out. I think Kyle is more of a mess than her sister. Kim is high so you can almost forgive her, but Kyle is just straight up mean. She cannot be trusted, especially by her sister, and her tears are fake.
Taylor is gone so in the middle of the party, they sit around and talk about it. Russell was blindsided by lies and I don’t think he had intentions of suing. Camille, who I really like, tells the camera her lawyers told her to stay away from Russell. Then why go to the party?
If the girls were worried about Taylor’s safety, why put her in danger? Tell Camille not to come, and talk to Russell so he won’t sue. This was a bomb ready to blow. You can feel honest concern from Lisa, but I think the rest of the ladies loved every minute of the drama.
Adrienne likes the sound of her own voice and could be saying something of value, but her hair makes it impossible to take anything she says seriously. In the car Russell appears to have no idea what is going on, or why Camille lied. Taylor is squirming.
Russell is either in complete denial about his abuse of Taylor, or Taylor lied about it all. She tells Russell she did talk about their marriage to the girls and told them that “all couples fight”. Very true, but not all men break the jaw of their wife and have no memory of ever doing it.
Lisa is sad and Kyle tells her they need to go and have a good time because she’s worked too hard. In the blink of Botoxed eye, Kyle is dancing, laughing gossiping about Taylor and having a great time. Meanwhile, Russell is either planning is own death, or beating the crap out of his wife.
Adrienne lets us know women kiss better than men. Kim is sloshed and making out with Ken in front of her kids, who appear to be on the verge of vomiting. Kyle is watching and pretending to be grossed out but she is just jealous the cameras have left her for a minute.
They gang is going to Hawaii to celebrate Mauricio’s birthday. Important to note that on the entire planet, in every city and town, Giggy is the cutest dog ever. Seeing him in his pants and Hawaiian shirt makes me think that I will stalk Lisa around town and steal her dog. I freaking love this dog.
Everyone is at the airport, the flight is leaving in 45 minutes and Kim and Ken have not arrived. Kyle gets her on the phone and she is clearly not herself. By not herself of course I mean she is high as a kite. It’s very sad. Especially since we now know she has been in rehab recently.
Back in LA, Taylor is in her fake therapy session saying she was kicked out of the party and did not go to Hawaii. He is clearly leading her in conversation and it’s disgusting. Taylor is mad that her friendships are suffering. Really? The beating is okay, just leave my friends alone?
Kim lets Kyle know she is on a later flight but we cannot understand what she is saying because of the slurring. Paul is taking a later flight, which is weird. If he had to work why would Adrienne not wait and fly with her husband? That marriage is just too much trouble to end.
Kyle is insisting to Lisa that Kim is not happy. That is because Kyle knows everything about Kim. Except of course that she had a boyfriend. Kyle knows nothing about Kim because Kim does not tell her stuff. Kyle is not warm and fuzzy and I wouldn’t tell her anything either.
The gang takes a plane to their island. By plane of course I mean Howard Hughes may have actually flown this plane. Brandi drank and took a Xanax because she is a fearful flyer, and she is now plastered. She is a sloppy drunk, which translates to good television. Go Team Brandi!
Sidebar: Brandi says a man who drives a red Ferrari has a small penis. Adrienne tells us her brother drove one, and with a knowing wink lets us know Brandi’s theory is wrong. Really? Adrienne can confirm the size of her adult brother’s penis? Next time just fly with your husband.
Lisa is back in a good light. For a couple of weeks I didn’t get her. In the end it was me, not her. She is who she is, and she is fabulous. I was grossed out by Taylor so I blurred the lines. In the end Lisa is funny and perhaps the most honest and inherently kind out of the ladies.
Paul arrives to the hotel and Adrienne greets him in her 1980’s half visor, which matches her 80’s hair and clothes. He tells Adrienne that Kim was on the flight, but disappeared into the bathroom for a while and seemed a little off. She still has a connector flight to make, as he came early.
He wants to make sure they have some romance as they never travel alone, and she shoots down all his ideas. Adrienne is not nice to her husband and while it was funny in the beginning, it no longer is. At the pool Camille and Brandi are getting some sun. They both look fabulous.
Brandi’s body is a topic of conversation for all the ladies. Brandi looks amazing. I would like to have that body for one day. I would walk around naked and simply admire it from every angle. This is a spectacular looking woman, which makes the LeAnn thing make less sense.
Taylor calls and tells Lisa and Kyle that she is ending her marriage. Why she chose to call them in Hawaii and not wait two days is unclear, but I’m guessing Bravo planned it. Lisa cries and is compassionate, while Kyle is robotic and cold, and all I can think about is Russell.
Next week we see Kim finally shows up and it’s not going to be good. I like her and think if she were not suffering from substance abuse she would be just kooky enough to be fabulously entertaining. Sadly I will watch again next week, hoping that maybe someone will keep it real.
12.10.13 at 8:55 am | Carlton can stay, Joyce should go.
12.8.13 at 9:55 pm | Momma Joyce is all kinds of crazy.
12.7.13 at 8:49 am | What the hell is Bravo giving us?
12.7.13 at 7:29 am | I'm not going to lie, these women and the men. . .
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (3463)
12.10.13 at 8:55 am | Carlton can stay, Joyce should go. (3389)
12.7.13 at 8:49 am | What the hell is Bravo giving us? (1562)
January 1, 2012 | 10:51 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
The second season of Mob Wives premiered this week and boy oh boy am I hooked. I love these women. By love of course I mean I have to say that because I’m scared of what will happen if I don’t. They are fantastically entertaining and even if you think you hate all reality television, give these women a shot. From the way it’s shot, to the music, this show is perfect.
I won’t recap who the women are because it will take too long, but you can watch season one on DVD and catch up if you want to get all the back stories. I think if you have not seen the show, and watch the season opener, you will want to go back and see how we got to where we are now. The show starts off with Renee, who is going to have some elective plastic surgery.
I love Renee. Of all the women she is the one I would want to go out for lunch with. I think she is beautiful and there is a vulnerability to her that makes me want to hug her. She is having a full body lift to hike up her boobs and flatten her stomach. I thought she looked great, but totally get that she wanted it and I understood her excitement about the outcome.
She felt something was off before the surgery and at one point tells the Dr. she is thinking about Kanye West’s mother, who we all know died after complications from elective surgery. She has a gut feeling something is not right, but she has wanted the surgery for a long time and when the anesthesiologist is injecting your meds you can’t really say stop.
Carla and Drita are getting together to hang out by the pool. Drita scares me to death. She is beautiful and if you saw her without hearing her speak, you’d think she was lovely. When she talks though, it’s all over. This woman is hard as nails and even when she is not being aggressive, she sounds like she could snap at any minute and haul off and slug you in the face.
Carla is the least interesting of the women. By least interesting of course I mean not at all interesting. She is very pretty, but not at all compelling. The other ladies pop next to her, which is not hard to do, but they are all firecrackers except for Carla so I’m not sure why she is on the show. I think they should replace her with Big Ang, but we’ll get to that soon.
Back at the surgery center, Renee is out of surgery and not feeling well. She is in horrible pain and seeing her is heartbreaking. She is begging for help and when her son comes to see her I almost cried. She is begging him to help her, he is telling her he loves her, and I found myself screaming at the TV for somebody to help her. She is rushed to the hospital.
After the surgery she has complications, loses a massive amount of blood, and almost dies. She needed to have a blood transfusion and the entire thing is horrific. Even knowing she is okay, and hearing her tell the story herself, it was scary. Karen has not heard from her since the surgery so she calls to check in and finds out Renee is still in the hospital.
I like Karen. She is hardcore, and at the same time, seems a little less intimidating than the others. She can pack a punch so maybe it’s a case of the quiet one being the most dangerous. Out of all the ladies she seems the most aware of the cameras. She is serious in terms of her family mob connections, yet seems the least authentic. Sorry Karen.
Important to note that I am a Canadian Jewish chick and I really have no idea what would be deemed authentic. My only exposure to the mob life is through Hollywood, so chances are my ideas about the mob are 99% full of crap. Back to the show, Renee is out of the hospital and having a slow and painful recovery. She is ready for the nightmare to be over.
Carla is out for lunch with a friend and tells her that she knew Renee had surgery, but was not aware it had gone wrong and was serious. She says Renee should have gone to the gym and I just think Carla is horrible. She is boring, and not a good friend, and she can go. She is talking about her ex and who cares? I’m not digging her and scared to death that I said it.
Karen went to visit Renee and hears about the horrible experience she had. Renee says she is feeling insecure about her body, regretting she had the surgery, and shares that she suffers from depression and that the surgery made it worse. During the visit I realize that I actually love Karen. She is sweet and a good friend. I take it back Karen. You’re a good egg.
Drita is taking boxing classes to help ease her aggression. This girl likes to fight. She may be the smallest, but she is the toughest. She is heartbroken about her husband cheating but says its aggravation. She is talking to the trainer and you see the fear in his eyes. She is telling the poor guy about how she feels better when she hits, and he looks like he might cry.
Drita tells us the next punch she throws will be in the ring. Okay Sweetie. Karen is having drinks with Ramona who is her childhood friend. Drita sends Karen a text saying she wants to talk but Karen is not into it. Ramona is clearly a troublemaker and likes to stir the pot. She is supporting her friend, but needs to back up a little or she’ll be in the crossfire.
Renee starts with a new therapist. He is sweet and she is open to therapy which a great thing. I hope he can ease some of her pain. Sidebar: I think showing therapy sessions on reality television is unethical and should not be allowed. She is talking about Carla, and being threatening, and in the end no good can come of this being shown on the show. Not cool.
Renee is planning a birthday/hooray for life party for herself and she does not want to invite Carla. I wouldn’t either. She is talking to Drita and gets some support from her in terms of her decision to not include Carla. Drita tells Renee she will work things out with Carla and Renee tells her to keep the drama away from her party. Drita assures her she will.
Drita then runs to Carla and tells her that she is not invited to Renee’s party. Carla lets us know that she didn’t want to go to the part anyway. Carla is annoyed by the while thing and says she had no idea Renee was so sick. The thing is, if your friend has surgery, and you don’t hear from her for weeks, you call. That is what a friend would do. Carla is not a friend.
It’s time for Renee’s party and the girls are getting ready. Drita is texting Karen and trying to be nice so there is peace at the party and Ramona is making things crazy when they don’t need to be. Renee’s palette of eye shadows is hilarious. There are about 100 colors and it’s exactly what I expect from her. There is going to be a blow up at this party.
Drita goes, is hanging solo until Renee arrives so she can say hello, have a drink, hug her and head out. Drita and Karen are staying away from each other and breath is being held. Renee arrives and she looks beautiful. It’s a sweet moment for her because she almost died. Her ex Junior is there and when they hug I want them to get married and live happily ever after.
Renee invites the ladies up to the mic with her and Drita is not doing it. She feels put on the spot so instead of getting up with the others she goes outside. She is followed out by who is my new favorite reality television star. Big Ang. I freaking love this woman. She looks like a mob wife to me and I loved everything about her. Dump Carla and give us more Big Ang.
Drita tells Big Ang that she will talk to Karen so Big Ang goes to get her. When Karen heads out Big Ang says thank you which struck me as funny. The show ends with a preview of next week and Dear Lord it’s going to get all gangster up in here. It’s like the Sopranos only with real people. This show is riveting in the same way Tony and Carmela were.
If there is a reality show that actually has any reality in it, this one may be it. These women are entertaining beyond compare and are the real housewives. I have read this blog five times to see if I can make it any softer or nicer but I can’t. This is my take and at the end of the day, if these women appreciate anything, it’s the ability to keep it real.
December 31, 2011 | 8:41 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
My, my, my, what a crazy year it has been on this blog!
I love reality television and I am amazed and thrilled that my job is to write about it.
My sincerest thanks to everyone who comes by to see my take on the shows we are all addicted to!
Reality television fans are an opinionated group, and I appreciate so much that you allow me to have mine, and share yours with me.
I look forward to another fabulous year of reality fun.
I wish you all a happy, healthy, and blogger war free 2012!
Happy New Year!
December 25, 2011 | 2:39 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I wrote a blog this week about LeAnn Rimes and the fact that I think her behavior on Twitter, in regards to her husband’s ex-wife, is disgusting. It was just my opinion, which is what my blog is. I’m not a gossip columnist, just a writer who shares my opinions and views on things I think are interesting, from Judaism, to pop culture, and everything in between.
There was a lot of action on Twitter recently about LeAnn, her husband Eddie Cibrian, and his ex-wife, Brandi Glanville. I don’t know any of them, and the blog was simply my take on a situation I have experience in. My ex-husband never cheated, but I do think he and his second wife were rude, mean, hurtful, and purposely disrespectful to me as a mother.
To be clear, I think LeAnn is a bit of a skank. By “bit of” of course I mean totally. She slept with a man, while he was married, and while she was also married. She left her husband to pursue a relationship with a man who had a family. I am not naïve enough to believe people don’t cheat, but to me she seemed a bit obsessed with getting Eddie.
Again, just my opinion, based on news, comments from LeAnn, Eddie, Brandi, and various news outlets. After my original blog posted, The Jewish Journal received a call from one Darrell Brown. He spoke with the Editor-in-Chief of The Journal and stated he was a friend of LeAnn’s, and was upset that I used the word “authenticated” in terms of stories about LeAnn’s behavior.
My Editor told me about the call, and I altered the blog to say “I hear this has all been authenticated”. It was not a big deal, and if it was what Mr. Brown needed to feel better, then I was happy to do it. It’s a blog, not brain surgery, and it was done immediately. Interesting to note that he took no issue with my calling LeAnn a skank, only the word "authenticated".
After Mr. Brown spoke with The Jewish Journal, he felt the need to write about me on his Tumblr page. It is fascinating to me that someone who is clearly a successful man, would bother to write about me, but since he did, let’s talk about it. I’m not sure if English is Mr. Brown’s first language, but by the look of his blog, I would guess no, but that’s not authenticated.
Mr. Brown’s little article was offensive and ridiculous. You can take a look for yourself although I hope he will take it down. If you do get a chance to read it, the spelling is hilarious. Mr. Brown had the balls to call his crapfest “Hate and Intolerance”and went so far as to liken my writing about LeAnn to the Holocaust. Really? Well Mr. Brown, here we go.
I spent many years of my career working in Holocaust education at Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation, and your comments about the Holocaust are offensive to me not only a Jew, but as a human being. To compare my blog about LeAnn Rimes to the treatment of Jews, homosexuals, gypsies and blacks during World War II is shameful.
Following the posting of this blog, Mr. Brown removed the Holocaust reference from his Tumblr post. He did not apologize for his offensive comment, simply removed it.
Mr. Brown’s comments were idiotic. By his attempting to bash me, he showed his true colors. He was unprofessional, childish, vengeful, and completely unaware of what the Holocaust was. If I were in his industry I would run for the hills before working with a man of such unfortunate character. Ignorance often trumps talent, which is the case here.
To be clear, the focus of The Jewish Journal is not to “spread the message of acceptance and understanding”, and Mr. Brown stating that the Editor-in-Chief “confessed” to him that I had “gone too far” is a lie. My blogs are the most popular at jewishjournal.com and I am proud of my work, as is my Editor. You have pushed the wrong Jew Mr. Brown, and you don’t scare me.
Following the posting of this blog, Mr. Brown removed all mention of my Editor from his Tumblr post. He did not apologize for lying, simply removed the comment.
Now, if Mr. Brown would like to talk to me, I am happy to. I am also happy to speak with Ms. Rimes and allow her to tell her side of the story. I am also happy to go to court so anyone who is interested can see what is authenticated and what are allegations. I was simply sharing my opinion on a subject that has been widely reported on. To compare this blog to the Holocaust is offensive and and only proves one thing. Mr. Brown is a jackass.
I would like to invite Mr. Brown and Ms. Rimes to join me for a tour of The Shoah Foundation. Perhaps if they were properly educated about what the Holocaust was, and the genocides that continue around the world today, then maybe they could understand how horribly wrong the Tumblr article was.
At the end of the day, I stand by my opinions. I think LeAnn Rimes is disgusting. I think Darrell Brown is idiotic. I think Eddie Cibrian is doing a disservice to his children by allowing their mother to be treated this way. I think Brandi Glanville has the best interest of her children in mind. That is my truth, and this is America, so I’m just keeping it real.
*I feel strongly that Mr. Brown owes an apology to each and every person who was touched by the Holocaust. In fact, he owes an apology to to every human being who lives with a compassionate heart, and knows that genocides are continuing in the world today. Time for a reality check.
The Talmud says that he who saves one soul, it is as if he saved the entire world. Maybe this is the time for Mr. Brown to be saved, and therefore a blessing that all this happened around my blog. I am not sorry for anything that I have written. I was writing about a subject that many have written about, and Mr. Brown entered into it on his own, and made it personal.
I am not going to remove my blogs, and chances are I will probably write about this subject again. That said, thanks to Mr. Brown, this blog is no longer about LeAnn Rimes. It is now about tolerance, compassion, and doing the right thing.
Write an apology Mr. Brown. Do it because you know you were wrong. You can continue to pray that I get fired, and you can keep trying to make that happen, and you don’t need to apologize for that at all. Just as I shared my voice about you, you are able to share yours about me.
I am asking you to please issue an apology for your insensitive comments in regards to the Holocaust. I will accept your apology and life will go on. In the future, you can have a go at me anytime you want, but go after me. Not my faith, the history of my people, or the atrocities that have forever shaped the history of the world.
Mr. Brown, I am sorry if your feelings were hurt. This is now about doing the right thing. I would like an apology from you, and I will happily repost your letter of apology here, so my readers and community can see it. I’ve done my part, now it’s your turn to keep it real.
**I HAVE NEVER RECEIVED AN APOLOGY. MR. BROWN HOWEVER, DID ANNOUNCE ON TWITTER TODAY THAT HE IS SUING ME FOR SLANDER.
December 23, 2011 | 12:02 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
There have been a lot of articles written lately about reality TV star Brandi Glanville and LeAnn Rimes. To recap: Brandi was married to actor Eddie Cibrian, and they have 2 young sons. Eddie cheated on Brandi with LeAnn while making a movie together. He left Brandi for LeAnn, and has now married her. Not an unusual story.
Marriages fall apart all the time, people cheat, and marry who they cheated with often. The difference here is that it has all played out in public. LeAnn is a successful singer, Eddie is an actor, and Brandi is finding success as a reality television star, having been added this season to the cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
What makes this situation so fascinating is Twitter. Twitter is a bizarre world to be sure. I am on Twitter and have met some interesting people. People follow me to read my blogs, and read my tweets. I like it actually, and enjoy following people. My favorite “person” to follow on Twitter is @LuckytheBeagle. Follow this dog!
There are a lot of freaks on Twitter. It truly is a breeding ground for bullies. I write about Bravo’s Housewives franchise a lot. Some of those blogs have inspired people to threaten to kill me, hurt my child, and get me fired. One person even said if I was not going to start being nice to Bethenny Frankel, they would find me and beat me up.
There is very little monitoring of Twitter and when I wrote them with the death threat, they suggested I simply block the person who made the threat. It’s creepy, and if it was not so pathetic and funny, it would be terrifying. There are a lot of lonely people online who use Twitter as a way to pretend they are friends with celebrities.
It’s a shame for the regular, fun and entertaining people who use Twitter to connect with their friends and the world at large. I get a kick out of Twitter and it’s unfortunate that a few crazy people try to suck the joy out of it. You can block them all you want, but they come back, with new names, to keep their hate and madness going.
I have been reading a lot of Tweets about Brandi and LeAnn this week and it’s incredible. People are passionate and have chosen sides, which is expected. If I were going to pick a side, I would have to go with Brandi on this one. It is my opinion that LeAnn Rimes has crossed a line. By crossed a line of course I mean she is coo coo.
It appears that LeAnn goes out of her way to torment Brandi and has become a stalker of sorts. It must come from a place of insecurity because why else would she be so hell bent on publically humiliating a woman whose children she claims to love so much? At the end of the day, LeAnn needs to grow up, shut up, and leave this poor woman alone.
LeAnn likes to refer to herself as a “bonus mom” to Brandi’s children. Really? What LeAnn is, is a home wrecker who slept with a married man, then when she ripped apart a family, used her celebrity to bully and embarrass his ex-wife. One could argue that Eddie is to blame, and he is, but clearly he is a coward and not worth mentioning.
I don’t know these people, but I do know, from my own experience, that LeAnn Rimes should be ashamed of herself. She uses her fans and Twitter to inflict emotional distress on a woman that she should be apologizing to. We were not in Brandi’s marriage, and that Eddie has found love is fine, but to hurt her now, after all is said and done, is ridiculous.
When my ex-husband got remarried, my son was 4. He called me one day and asked if he could pick up our child, as he needed to go do something special for Mother’s Day. When my son got home, he was very excited and told me he got something very special for Mother’s Day. He was so cute and after about 5 hours could not stand to keep the secret.
He told me he had his picture taken for a coffee mug and computer pad and they said Happy Mother’s Day. It was the cutest thing I had ever heard of and was excited for Mother’s Day as I knew he was thrilled to give it to me. Mother’s Day came and went without so much as a card. My ex-husband gave the presents to his new wife, and my son was crushed.
He drew me a picture that day, and we went to Color Me mine and he made me a beautiful plate. To this day, almost 12 years later, every Mothers Day my son tells me he is sorry about the coffee mug. As a child, he never understood why she got “my present”. It was mean. To this day she refers to herself as his mother and it makes me sad.
I mention my own story to make the point that kids are not stupid. My son was young when he got a stepmother, and she assumed young meant dumb. My child, and Brandi’s children, know who their mothers are, and they are protective of us. They will understand one day what was said and will not be forgiving. That time will come for LeAnn. I doubt she’ll still be married, but it’s coming.
By LeAnn trying to convince the world she is the mother of these two little boys, she is hurting them and making a fool out of herself. She can say she loves them, but her hate for Brandi is public knowledge and one day those boys will be men and she will have a lot of explaining to do. She can’t take it back, but she can stop.
For LeAnn to use every opportunity to hurt Brandi in terms of her kids is disgusting. She can pretend all she wants that she is the mommy, but she is not. Eddie is a man who cheated on his wife, and walked away from his family. He is a pig and she is a skank, so why would she want to flaunt that to anyone? I would be hiding under a rock.
There are stories about LeAnn creating Twitter accounts to harass Brandi, and the phone number linked to some really mean tweets to Brandi, was traced back to the same number that is on LeAnn’s Twitter account. I hear this has all been authenticated, and there are even pictures of LeAnn socializing with women who harass Brandi. LeAnn is mean spirited and very high school.
If we are to judge these three people by what we see through their celebrity, then Brandi is a class act. She has been challenged on RHOBH and each week I find myself liking her even more. Eddie is unemployed and apparently living with no balls, and LeAnn is a whore who cheated on her own marriage while stealing Eddie, and no longer eats.
I am certain that Brandi is not innocent in this mess, but that is irrelevant. The bottom line is that she is the mother of those children and LeAnn needs to back the hell up. Karma is a bitch and it will be interesting to see if LeAnn changes her tune when her cheating husband leaves her for someone else. Maybe then LeAnn will learn to keep it real.
December 20, 2011 | 8:09 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
Partially because I am addicted to reality television, and partially because I am a glutton for punishment, I watched 3 hours of the Kardashian crapfest and I now have a splitting headache. Partially from the laughing, and partially from the fact that the voices on these women makes me want to cut my own ears off just to make it stop. Why are they on TV
Khloe: She is actually quite likeable and funny. She is entertaining and seems the least aware of the cameras. That said, she spends a lot of time talking in a baby voice, which is incredibly annoying. The best thing going for Khloe is Lamar, and if she moves to Dallas she might have a shot at not drowning in crap like her sisters.
Kourtenay: This one is a whack job that gets some kind of sick pleasure out of embarrassing the father of her baby on television. Her voice is the most irritating out of all of them. She does not share a bedroom with her boyfriend, yet she is pregnant with their second baby. She does not want to marry him, but is happy with him serving as her sperm donor.
Kim: She is a fame whore, a porn star, and will do just about anything to be famous. The problem is that she is not good at any of the things she does. I have seen her attempt at porn and I have two words for her performance: wet noodle. She is a lousy dancer, a horrible sex star, a selfish sister, a crybaby, and in possession of absolutely no talent. None.
I think Kim’s wedding was fake and Kris Humphries got screwed. By screwed of course I mean he is a moron. By moron of course I mean he is a young guy who got caught up in the madness that is the Kardashians and he never had a shot in hell. Kim used him for yet another 15 minutes. I’m sure he got screwed better figuratively than he did literally.
I won’t talk about the two younger ones as they are children, and as for Rob, well, get a job son. He is sweet, and won me over on Dancing With The Stars, but he has a small window of opportunity to turn the good will we feel about him into something. If he waits too long, he will once again be the lazy brother, who lives off his name and does nothing.
Sidebar: I have the television on while I’m writing this and I just saw a commercial for Sears, featuring Kim, Kourtenay, Khloe and Kris. Dear Lord. The voices all together are simply too much for me to handle. Hearing them whine in unison makes me want to pull my hair out. By pull my hair out of course I mean pull their extensions out.
The baby talk, the screeching voices, the crying, the staged life for cameras, the insane amount of money they make, all of it is fascinating. Even more fascinating than the Kardashians being fascinating, is Barbara Walters still working. I think at 400 years old she should retire. She is simply too old to be interviewing pop culture fake celebrities.
Now, Betty White is old, but she is fabulous and should never retire. Ever. Barbara however just looks silly. Seeing this tiny woman interviewing people is weird. I grew up with Barbara and looked forward to her specials, but now she just seems out of touch and desperate to look relevant. She no longer has the appeal she had for so long, and someone needs to tell her.
The Kardashians are annoying, but oddly compelling, so they will never go away. We live in a Kardashian world and that’s just how it is. We can mock them, or watch them, or both. The one thing that can make the Kardashian gang even more annoying, is having to see them talk to Barbara Walters. I mean no disrespect Ms. Walters, just keeping it real.
December 19, 2011 | 9:51 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Let me begin by saying this show made me sick tonight. I am sick of these incredibly self-centered, and ridiculous women. A man is dead, three children have lost their father, and in my opinion all the RHOBH have a little blood on their hands. Shame on Bravo for airing this crap fest. At what point will Bravo take responsibility for the insanity and pull this show? When will they stop treating their loyal viewers like idiots?
We start off this trip to hell with Adrienne gossiping to her husband about Camille so we are all brought up to speed. Russell was never going to sue Camille and he was never going to sue anyone. If Camille was so upset about an email from Russell, she should have stayed home. If they are all so worried about the safety of Taylor, then why uninvite her to the party and potentially put her at risk with her abusive husband?
In the one fun scene during this train wreck, we meet the band for Pandora’s wedding. Lisa dancing with the wedding planner is cute, Lisa crying into Jiggy is adorable, Lisa wiping her tears on Pandora’s sweater is hilarious, and the bald singer who sings in Spanish is gorgeous. I’m laughing and thinking it’s not going to be so bad, and then it’s over. The next scene is with Kyle and there is simply nothing appealing about this horrific woman.
Over at Kyle’s, she is getting ready for the party and gets a call from super bored Adrienne, who is stirring the pot. She says Camille “just got” an email from Russell threatening to sue. Really? I find it hard to believe Russell sent the email from his trip to Vegas with Taylor. Adrienne causes all the problems by calling Kyle to say she is not coming, then says she is coming, but might leave early. Adrienne is out of control.
Kim is having dinner with two of her older kids and they are all laughing at the fact that one of them took too much nighttime cold medicine and fell asleep in the shower. It’s sad that Kim thought it was funny, however you could see her make a mental note to try it. The entire exchange with Kim and her kids is awkward. They obviously do not like her mom’s boyfriend Ken, and it’s weird because clearly we are not getting the full story.
The White Party is beginning and the gang is arriving. If Kyle did not have such a selfish soul she’d be beautiful. Brandi comes, without a bra, and looks fabulous. They went from almost throwing blows last week, to Kyle not wanting to uninvite her. Really? She won’t uninvite Brandi who she hates, but will uninvite Taylor who is supposed to be her good friend? Camille should have stayed home. Her coming was the beginning of the end.
Lisa is talking to Kyle and no matter what Lisa says, Kyle makes it about her. What about me? What about me? We are supposed to believe Kyle could not reach Taylor by phone? That is a crock of crap and everyone knows it. Bravo housewives fans might be fanatical and crazy, but they are not idiots. Well, there are quite a few idiots, but overall we not stupid, and we are not buying this imaginary tale. The writers of this should be fired.
Are these pathetic losers seriously concerned that they are going to get sued by Russell? Lisa is trying to be compassionate toward Taylor after her weekend together, and Kyle is making it about her. Again. What about Kyle and her friendship with Taylor? Lisa wants to call Taylor and tell her not to come, to avoid any embarrassment, but she can’t reach her. I want to shove Kyle into a pool of mud in her beautiful white dress.
Kim arrives and she is clearly not herself. By not herself of course I wean she is high. Not mellow pot high, but brutal using high. She is coughing all over Lisa and it’s disgusting. Kim is a mess and should have been forced from this show immediately. I cannot stand watching her and find her completely painful. Everyone seems to have an opinion about Ken, yet everyone says they don’t know him. It makes no sense.
Dana is there and completely a waste of space. She needs to not be on this show. Everything about her is silly and a waste of my time. Kim is still annoyed with Brandi and there is a fight brewing. Kim approaches Brandi and is confrontational, rude, abrasive, and insane. Brandi handles herself with class and dignity and I like her more each week. Kim insists Kyle is not a bitch, which is proof her drugs make her delusional.
Sidebar: Was Brandi’s friend the house manager Jennifer Gimenez from Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew? We never really got a look at her face, but it looked like her. I love her. We then cut to Russell and Taylor in the limo ride over and it is shocking. Taylor is telling him she loves him, and kissing him, and they look like a happy couple. It’s the strangest scene ever and incredibly unnerving. I feel so bad for Russell and his family.
It is heartbreaking to see Russell because he seems to have no idea about the crap Taylor has been saying about him. She clearly was not telling him anything about her stories. I think we can safely assume this man was not an angel, but I honestly think she pushed him to the limit with her lies. How could he recover from the picture she had painted of him? How do you come back from hell with the devil living in your house?
Russell and Taylor get to Kyle’s and she runs out with her posse to confront Taylor. She is fake crying and trying to crack her voice and it’s pathetic. Taylor is in shock and Russell is standing there not sure what is happening. We are watching Taylor getting caught in her web of lies and I can’t help but feel bad for Russell. He looks ambushed. He responded to a rumor from Camille and is unaware the rumor was actually from Taylor.
It is a horrible scene. Everyone is ganging up on Russell and it is so uncomfortable. Taylor and Russell leave and Kyle runs after them fake crying. Russell assures her it’s fine and they want to go. Adrienne is being a busybody and Taylor is correct in saying that Camille should have simply stayed home. Taylor’s lies are unraveling and you can see her fear. She looks oddly at peace and it’s very unsettling.
After an hour of watching this slow and painful train ride through hell, I am torn between wanting to take a shower to get the gross off of me, and wanting to go and put flowers on Russell’s grave. I am seriously surprised and puzzled by so many things this week I don’t know what to do. Here are my top ten questions from this week’s show, which I am sharing in the hopes that my readers might have some answers for me.
1) Why does Adrienne never brush her hair?
2) Does Adrienne think it is 1986?
3) Is Paul Nassif a little person?
4) Was watching Dana feel up Kim necessary?
5) How old is Jiggy?
6) How long after the White Party did Russell die?
7) Is Adrienne’s stylist blind?
8) Why do we watch this show?
9) Why did Camille go to the party?
10) When will this crapfest be over?
I think the ladies of Atlanta are out of control with their fighting, hating and whoring, and I’m not sure how the new seasons of Orange County and New York will look, but I am certain that the ladies of Beverly Hills should only come back if they are going to get a new cast. I would like to see Brandi and Lisa return, and all the others need to get canned so we can start fresh. That ‘s the only shot in hell Bravo has to keep it real.
December 19, 2011 | 11:56 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
We start this week with Sheree and Phaedra. Sheree is unhappy with Phaedra’s legal moves and is not very good at hiding her inner witch. Phaedra is classy, does not get upset, and returns Sheree’s retainer and wishes her well. Phaedra is a lady and Sheree is an immature baby.
Phaedra is annoyed she never got her retainer until the last minute, but I recall Phaedra telling Sheree she would not charge her. Sheree is complaining it’s not worth all the trouble for $100.00. Really? I bet her kids would like an extra hundred bucks every month. Selfish.
Over at Kim’s she is getting ready to move and she is super annoying. I really dig Kroy, but Kim is too much. I don’t think she is particularly entertaining, but there is something compelling. Her new show will unravel her life and it is too bad she is selling her soul to the reality devil.
Cynthia is hosting an art event and it’s hilarious to see exactly how uneducated these women are. Sheree says she loves abstract art. The first art word she could find in the dictionary. Over with NeNe, she is not a fan of art but thinks 24K is not a bad price.
I love NeNe and think she is the best part of this show, but girlfriend needs to put on a bra. Cynthia thinks having Marlo, the transvestite hooker, at her event is a seal of approval from Atlanta’s high society. Cynthia seriously needs to just stop talking. Darling Cynthia, shhhhhhhhh.
Sidebar: What exactly is the word “AXSTD”? I am so sick of hearing these women mispronounce the work “ ASKED”. Can someone please clarify if that is a Southern thing, or simply a moron thing? Whatever it is, it needs to stop because it makes you sound ridiculous when you say it.
Cynthia and Peter are getting their pictures taken for a “power couple” photo shoot. Really? Is she kidding? Power couple? Cynthia is getting her makeup done and Peter says he is ready to go. Cynthia shows Peter the invitation to her agency opening and he immediately bags on it.
He is simply not nice to her. He is mean and jealous and condescending. She responds to him like a child. They are irritating to watch. He is unpleasant and she is too stupid for me to follow with any great interest. She is begging him for help and he wants nothing to do with her.
Kim is moving and each minute we see this woman is a reminder we should not watch her new show. Her voice grates on me the same way Sammi from the Jersey Shore irritates me when she calls for Ron. The trip through memory lane of Kim’s townhouse is a waste of time.
Over at NeNe’s, her son Bryson is with her. He has cut his hair and now looks like a lovely young man. He is a big kid and while he has been a little bit of trouble for NeNe, he seems better now and I like that she has stuck by him through his troubles. They are funny together.
NeNe is talking to him about sex and good for her. They are open with each other and it’s sweet. I hope he finds his way and gets on a career path. NeNe is good television and it seems like she is not on the show much these days. That is a shame, and mistake in my opinion.
Kim and the family arrive at their new house and get a tour. It’s very big and very beautiful. The main decorating theme is Kim. There are pictures of her all around the house and it’s a little creepy. I like how Kim calls everyone Love, but it’s not enough to watch her show.
To clarify, when I say I am not watching her new show, I am totally going to watch her show. I will watch, and blog, and it will be good. That said, it will be work, not fun. I watch a lot of reality television for fun and very little for work. This one is going to be painful, therefore work not fun.
We see a scene where Kim needs to pump her breasts. She is on the freeway pumping, while her daughter steers the wheel from the passenger side of the car. Really? This is a disgusting display of bad parenting and she could have killed her kids with such recklessness.
Kim is not the first woman to have a baby and her whining and bad choices are out of control. She is on the fast track to becoming Bethenny, who got her own show and became so unappealing we lost interest. I can handle Kim in small doses, but not another Bethenny.
Kandi is talking to Jo Dee Messina and it’s awkward. Kandi is talented but her whoring herself out to make a dollar is just sad. Vibrators, country music, a clothing store? Instead of rushing to create an empire, pick a lane and stay in it. She is all over the place, and a mess.
Cynthia is getting ready for her opening and says she is under pressure because people don’t look at models as being good “business peeper”. This woman is insanely beautiful. That’s it. That’s not all I have to say, just all she is. Bless her. Her sister comes over and she is crying again.
If the opening of her business was so important, why was she not there on time? She should have been there first, welcoming people. Instead she is whining nobody is there, but even she is not there. Someone needs to help this girl out and it’s not Peter. She needs to dump him.
Cynthia finally arrives and is relieved to see people have turned up. Peter is a dick, Kandi is a troublemaker, and Sheree wants us to think there is yet another air conditioning problem in Atlanta, when really it may just be her menopause kicking in, as she’s the only one sweating.
Kim arrives to the party and is immediately accosted by Marlo. Kim tells us Marlo sleeps with men for money, and is disgusted by the thought. Too funny. Pot, meet kettle. NeNe arrives, looks fabulous, and it’s the first time Kim and NeNe have been in the same place for a very long time.
They are ignoring each other, which is fine because we are focused on Marlo and Kandi. Marlo is trying to get as much screen time as he is able, and Kandi is calling him out on his crap. Kandi is a troublemaker. For someone trying to make America love her, she is not very nice.
Marlo is accusing Kandi of being a Sugar Momma, and saying she has no Big Poppa, which is putting Kim over the edge. Kim has had it and leaves. She acts like she is too good for the show that made her, and has moved beyond the women. She is just like Bethenny and it’s gross.
Kandi is not letting it go and Marlo admits she dates wealthy men and they give her things. It’s exhausting to watch these women. None of them are really friends and they are not good enough actresses to make us believe they are. The night ends with the complete humiliation of Cynthia.
She gets up to speak and thank people. Her speaking skills are horrible, but that’s not the humiliating part. She calls up Peter to thank him and share her moment but he’s not there. He bailed and left her alone. He is a pig who is going to lose his super hot wife any moment.
I like these women. Well I like some of them, and others scare the crap out of me. Their fighting and fake friendships are exhausting and they need to get back to the fun. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m excited for the return of the ladies of OC. Time for them to not keep it real.