Posted by Ilana Angel
This show is just too much. I love it and think it’s insanely entertaining, but this week it got gross. I mean it’s always been gross, but it took a turn that I don’t think it can recover from. I get that these fame whores want to have their 15 minutes, but to suck the kids into it is simply not cool. The kids of New Jersey have always been a focus, but to parade around the torment of Gia, as they did this week, is shameful.
We start with Teresa going to see Jacqueline and Caroline. Teresa is recounting her visit with Joe and Melissa at the book signing and she is once again defending her husband. Juicy is in a text war with Joe and Teresa laughs it off and fails to mention Juicy threatened to kill Joe. Honestly I do not see what she sees in this abusive and alcoholic husband. That said, she is just a bad as he is, if not worse.
Caroline tells Teresa to call Melissa and try to mend things and instead of trying to be calm and get things back on track with her family, she is accusatory and with Melissa. Caroline and Jacqueline listen to the conversation because of course it’s on camera, and they see, as we all do, that Teresa is the cause of all the problems. She is simply too stupid to understand how stupid she is. This chick is insane.
Everyone is going to “run” in a 5k race for charity. Kathy is into it and aware of the charity, while Jacqueline proves once again that she is not the sharpest tool in the shed. Teresa has diarrhea and thinks we all need to know it. Juicy is slicing sausage and packing up the wine, at 6 in the morning. The Manzo family is all in and once again we see that this show is less about the housewives, and more about the families.
The Manzo’s are making serious fun of Teresa and while very mean, it is hysterical and the best part of the whole show. They are talking about all the books Teresa might be writing and it’s truly very funny. Over with Teresa, she is warning Juicy to be nice and Juicy is telling her it’s not him, its Joe, and as long as he does not piss him off, it will be okay. Juicy Joe is an ape and he should not be given any camera time.
Everyone arrives and of course there is tension between Juicy and Joe. Everyone on the show clearly favors Joe to Juicy, which is entertaining. Joe is staying away from Juicy and trying to be cool, while Juicy is just waiting to cause a problem. Sidebar: Albie Manzo might be the most boring man in America. Everyone is running and it’s pathetic. They all cheat and only Kathy, Richie, Juicy and Teresa actually run the 5k.
The editors on this show are getting sloppy and the cutting of Teresa is dumb. Is it just me or does Teresa have the oddest looking running form ever? It looks like her feet are not touching the ground. It’s like a penguin running across the ice. Juicy finishes last and while everyone is waiting for him, it’s one big fun group, then Juicy gets there and the tension is back on. Pull Juicy and Teresa off, and this is a fun group.
The Manzo boys are going out for drinks and dancing with Joe and Melissa, but first they are going to play Melissa’s song for them. Not only should the editors of this show get canned, but so should the writers. The step and repeat in the apartment is awesome, the gay roommate Greg is fabulous, and Christopher Manzo has become the cuter brother. Albie’s lack of personality is painful and he needs to be put out of his misery.
Melissa plays her song and the boys could not be less impressed. They ask her to sing at the lame party they are planning, for their lame job, and it makes no sense because they hated the song. Even Greg, her groupie, was underwhelmed. We leave the Manzo boys and go to see Lauren and Vitto and I want to cut my own face off. They want us to think making cheese is sexy and all it makes me is a little nauseous. 30 minutes in and I’m pouring wine.
Lauren is complaining about how fat she is and it’s sad. She says she will always be fat and I’m done. I’m not sure if cheese making pity parties will take off, but perhaps it will be big in New Jersey. Poor Lauren. Meanwhile, the boys are getting plastered with Joe and Melissa. We find out that Joe calls his manliness “Tarzan”, which I think is perfect. He’s a little person and so Tarzan is quite funny. I love Melissa and Joe.
Teresa is throwing a 5th birthday party for Melania. Gia got a limo and private over the top party, and Melania is getting a pizza at her dad’s pizza parlor. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Melania is throwing a temper tantrum and it is perfect. This is a spoiled and funny little girl. Her mom calls her a crybaby and finally lets her wear what she wants, rather than force her to wear what she wants. I feel bad for Teresa.
Teresa is very aware of the cameras and there is nothing authentic about her. You just know if the camera was not here she would be screaming at that kid to get dressed and fast. You can’t watch this show and not wonder how it is that this woman stays in the life she has. Her husband is abusive, she children are in emotional distress, and she is doing book signings with 30 people there. When will she walk away and help her family?
Teresa arrives at the party, late, with the birthday girl. The editing is once again totally off. The kids are all eating pizza, then they say Teresa does not want to serve pizza until Joe arrives. In the first scene the kids are all eating, then they are screaming for pizza. This show sucks. They have people shoved into this pizza parlor and I want to know why the fire marshal is not there shutting it all down. Melissa and Joe arrive.
Juicy does not acknowledge Joe, and Teresa is once again making excuses for her ape. The kids are all making pizza and it’s a sweet party that is having all the joy sucked out of it by the grown ups. Then it happens. What I have been praying would never happen. Gia starts singing. Let me just say that if this adorable little girl gets a record deal, I am going to explode. My head will actually explode right off of my body.
She calls her uncles “dear Joe” and it is simply crushing to watch this little girl try to sing a song to her uncle. She loves him so much and the fighting is killing her, and Teresa is just laughing it off and trying to not be embarrassed. This little girl wanted to do something nice for her uncle and that Bravo showed it to us is disgusting. Why not protect this little girl and her broken heart, instead of exploiting it on television?
Just as Bravo contributed to the suicide of Russell Armstrong, they are responsible for the pain of this small child. I don’t understand how Teresa does not walk away from this show. Her need for fame is stronger than her need to protect her children, and it is all very sad. Teresa tries to blow smoke up Gia’s ass by telling her everything is okay, but the little girl is smarter than her mother and not buying it at all.
Teresa is an idiot but I still feed badly for her. I think at one time she had a good life and her life now is exhausting. She pulls Juicy and Joe together to take a picture and it’s very sad. She is desperate for her family to be together, her husband stands in her way, and she knows it. It’s complicated and sad but could at least be on the way to repair if she quit the show, but her ego and competition with Melissa won’t let her do it.
Next week is the episode where Bravo sends them all to the Dominic Republic and watches them implode. I would love to be able to say I am not going to watch it, but I will. Just as an addict cannot stop doing drugs when they know it’s bad, I can’t stop watching. I used to be embarrassed that I watched these show, but now it’s just sad. These people need to be pulled off of television and I need to stop watching and keep it real.
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
11.25.13 at 11:14 pm | They started off strong, but tonight tanked.
11.25.13 at 9:02 pm | Some of this episode was uncomfortable to watch.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (4168)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (3766)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (3529)
September 6, 2011 | 8:59 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
The end is getting near and the only good thing about saying goodbye to Bachelor Pad will be saying hello to Dancing With the Stars. I seriously love this show and it has been the best reality television of the summer. I have been enjoying Big Brother but even Vienna, who is as annoying as hell, is more entertaining than whining Rachel over in the Big Brother House.
This week everyone picks a partner because they will be voted off in pairs. Not random pairs as it has been up to now, but you will get the boot with your partner. All the established couples are together so that leaves poor Erica with Blake, who nobody can stand, so they will be out. The competition is based on The Newlywed Game and it’s going to be hilarious.
They are all scrambling to get to know each other, except for Vienna and Casey who are convinced they will win because they are so in love. I don’t get how these two are still on the show. Are the others just so dumb they don’t get it? Or is this just a classic case of scripted unscripted reality television? I actually believe they are all just dumb.
It’s time for “The Nearlywed Game” with your host, Chris Harrison. Finally Chris is useful. Not at all entertaining, but at least he has something to do. The first place couple will win a date outside of the house, as well as roses to keep them safe through the elimination. Listening to Michelle tell us how the games works is annoying. Her voice grates on my nerves.
The questions are funny, but the answers are hysterical. Erica lets us know she is kind of a slut and will have sex after 3 dates, while Vienna wants us to believe that she needs 22 dates before she gets naked. Really? Does she not realize we’ve seen how she operates? If Vienna can prove she ever went 22 dates without sex, then I will give her a million dollars.
Casey and Vienna are getting nothing right and it’s too funny. The one couple you would think is going to nail it, tanks. Casey says if he could be any animal, he’d be a rabbit. What the hell? Is it a sexual reference to the greatest invention of modern time? He is very creepy. He also says the thing Vienna’s exes miss about her the most, are her teeth.
Let’s just take a moment to ponder this one. Of all the things this man thinks are great about his girlfriend, the one single thing that everyone who has been with her misses the most are her teeth? If we were thinking earlier that this show is scripted, perhaps we were wrong. These simply may be the dumbest people in America. As for Vienna, she thought it was her boobs.
The game takes a turn when Chris starts asking about who everyone would want to make out with, and it gets dark turn when Blake and Holly answer that they both want to bang each other. By dark of course I mean they change the music for dramatic effect. It’s awesome how they use music on this show. By awesome of course I mean lame. Blake knows he’s out.
Vienna and Casey are losing in an epic way. Graham and Michelle have devised a plan to answer a certain way for each type of question, and while their answers don’t always make sense, it’s working. Graham says he lost his virginity at 7. Everyone is disgusted and then realizes it’s their strategy when Michelle guesses he lost his virginity at 7.
They are all so pleased with themselves that they cracked Graham and Michelle’s code. Really? It took them the entire game but they all think they are brilliant. These are very attractive and very stupid people. It’s on to the final question and while Erica and Blake almost save themselves, Graham and Michelle win and get the date outside of the house.
Holly is flirting with Blake, which is making Mike crazy. Poor Mike. He’s is a loser, bless his heart. He is pissed off at Blake, but not at all annoyed with Holly. As Erica points out to him, Blake is a douchelord, but Holly was his girlfriend and he should be mad at her, not him. Fascinating that Erica is the smartest person in the house. How scary is that little fact?
Michelle and Graham are heading out on helicopter for their date. Michelle is a little but crazy but I like her this season, and I like her with Graham. I dig them together for some season and am glad they are getting the date. Michelle is smoking hot and while she seems quite smitten, and he is falling for he, I think there is still some crazy in her waiting to come out.
Listening to Blake and Michelle describe their date has a very Bachelor/Bachelorette vibe and the producers are trying to get us to think they will be the love affair of the show. I’m not sure I’m buying it just yet, but bless them for trying to manipulate us into thinking love can be found in the hell hole known as Bachelor Pad. I freaking love this show.
Back at the house, Vienna and Casey and breaking down and while I know it’s wrong to say, I love watching it happen. Casey is the creepiest guy they’ve ever had on this franchise and while Vienna is a fame whore to be sure, she is harmless. Casey on the other hand, is scary. We find out Vienna passed on sex and so Casey took back his lame promise ring. No sex, no ring!
They are having a huge fight about sex and his speech impediment makes it impossible to take what he is saying seriously. Casey wants to get laid, which makes sense since they are a couple, but she does not want to have sex in the house. Are we supposed to think they have not had sex since they’ve been in the house? Vienna explains “no means no”, and I can’t stop laughing.
She is so dramatic. That she would so publicly air the sexual confusion in their relationship, when she already knows we think she is a whack job, proves that she is simply not well. That she continues to find herself on television is interesting, and that she thinks that on any level she keeps getting invited back because America likes her, is delusional.
I’m skipping over Michelle and Graham’s date because it’s boring. She is beautiful, he is adorable, and I wish them well. Blah, blah, bah. As the second place winners, Blake and Erica get a date too. They are headed out for a romantic date, which is hilarious because there could not be any less romance between these two. Holly is jealous and Mike wants to kill himself.
Erica is the voice of reason on this show, and Holly is the house whore. Erica is going to seduce Blake, which makes me a little nauseous. She is talking to him in the kitchen and Holly walks around in her bikini. Holly is a snake and I don’t like her. She is convinced she knows Blake in a way the others don’t. Turns out Holly is both a whore and a complete moron.
Erica thinks Blake is warming up to her and she wants to have sex with him, but in her seduction tells him she talks to dead people. Way to close the deal Erica! She is throwing herself at Blake and while pathetic, I cannot get enough. The twist on their date is that they get two roses, and they get to save another couple in the house, just not themselves. Excellent twist!
Blake and Erica think if they pick the right couple they can be saved. Not going to happen, but cute that they think so. Back at the house, Michael and Holly are once again boring the crap out of me. He is professing his love for her while she tells him what he wants to hear, all the while thinking about Blake naked. These two need to wrap it up and move on. Enough already.
Erica is on Blake like white on rice. Her seduction is in full force and my skin is crawling off of my body. She is telling him she is DTF and he wants nothing to do with her. He is so diplomatic and working so hard to not hurt her feelings, but even he is not sleazy enough to bang Erica. He says it’s all strategy, but it’s really about him simply not wanting to see Erica naked.
Blake wants to go back to the house, but Erica is not giving up. She tells him they need to have sex, and bond as partners. Erica sluts it up full force and I think it’s fabulous. Holly whore is crying about Michael and how he broke her heart. Did I miss something? Didn’t she break off their engagement? I think she is remembering the end of their relationship backwards.
Erica is bordering on begging Blake to sleep with her. She is flat out saying that she needs to get laid, he’s the one, and they are going to do it. I love how ballsy she is, but he is not having it. He is worried if he spends the night with her they will think he is a pig. Seriously? Everyone thought you were a pig before you went out with Erica. Blake is a loser on a Bentley scale.
In the morning Erica and Blake need to decide who gets the safety roses they were given. If they give the roses to Vienna and Casey then they deserve to go home for being so stupid. They talk to Kirk and Ella, and Vienna and Casey to see if they should give them the roses. Ella and Kirk are certain that they should get the roses and they will save Blake and Erica.
Vienna and Casey tell them that if they are saved, they will save them and they will go to the finals with them. Casey is making all kinds of promises that he cannot keep. Casey is insane. Seriously. The fact that he is with Vienna is the first clue, but every single time he speaks there is more proof. Blake and Erica give the roses to Casey and Vienna, which I will never get.
Ella is crying because she thinks she is going home. She is desperate for the money and sad she may be out. Casey has a God complex and it’s disturbing. Ella is whining which is unfortunate. I like her but the whining and single mom crap is getting old. You need the money. We get it. Stop crying about it and start working on getting the votes to stay.
Harrison is back explain to us how it all works, which we know. I don’t know why he bothers me so much, but he does. Everyone is scrambling making sure that they are safe and Blake is certain Casey and Vienna will save them. Meanwhile, Vienna wants Ella out because she thinks she will get sympathy votes and does not want to go up against Ella. Could Blake be safe?
Come on people, there is no way Ella is going home. Michael is going to get Blake out of that house if it kills him. Speaking of which, Blake and Holly are making out on the couch and Michael walks by and sees it. Someone needs to put Mike out of his misery. By his misery of course I mean ours. Watching him pine over Whore Holly is getting old and I’m so over it.
Michael tells Holly she can make the decision on their behalf and it’s up to her who goes home. She is the tie breaking vote so she can save Blake or not. Does she keep a guy who is playing the game and could care less about her, or break the heart of the man who broke hers after she broke his? The dramatic pauses on this episode are painful. I need this week to be done.
Blake and Erica are sent home, as we knew they would be when the show started. I want Ella and Kirk to win the money, and Michelle and Graham to win love. I could care less what happens to Holly and Michael, and I could care even less than that about Casey and Vienna. Holly is lame and gives Blake a note to read in the car on the way out of Bachelor Pad.
Holly tells him she misses him and it’s stupid. Next week is the finale and I cannot wait. We will be reunited with all the people from the house and I can’t wait to see Ames. I seriously hope Ella and Kirk win, and that Casey and Vienna don’t make it to the final two. This show makes me want to impale myself and I will really miss it, so until next week, keep it real.
September 6, 2011 | 12:59 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I watched the premier tonight thinking that perhaps they would be classy and handle the suicide of Russell Armstrong with respect and dignity. Instead it was a disgusting display from a bunch of fame whores. I watched the entire show, but I am not going to do my regular recap, and I am not going to write about this show again.
I think this show is a perfect example of what can go wrong when you do a reality television show. This man took his own life, and his estranged wife is talking about how they are working on their marriage? Then the bevy of botoxed women, who could have cared less about this man when he was alive, are fake crying at his loss of life?
I think it is disgusting that Bravo opted to show this series so close to Mr. Armstrong’s passing and they should be ashamed of themselves that they put money ahead of his three young children. I understand that it is a business, but this just does not feel right, and I believe the worst of it is still to come in Beverly Hills.
In seeing the trailer of what is coming up this season, the passing of Russell Armstrong is just the beginning of the self-destruction. The fighting and tension is not train wreck fun, it is cringe worthy, and I will watch with one eye closed. These women are going to implode and knowing that we will all be watching it happen is sad.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills should be cancelled because there is more pain and suffering coming. Bravo needs to do the right thing and walk away. These women need to do the right thing for their kids and walk away. No amount of money can be worth it. Will the death of Russell be in vain, or will someone start keeping it real?
September 3, 2011 | 10:57 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I love watching Dancing With The Stars. It is entertaining, mindless fun, plus Tom Bergeron is brilliant. I could do without the judges most of the time, but with the help of my remote, I look forward to this show each year and the excitement begins with the announcement of the cast.
The cast this season has some people I think will be fun to watch, and some that I hope suffer a broken foot before the show gets started. The single most newsworthy participant at this early stage of the press onslaught is Chaz Bono, son of the legendary Sonny and Cher.
Yes, you read that correctly, I read son. Chaz Bono is a transgender American. He is a man who was born in a woman’s body, and has gone through a long, painful and difficult medical transition to give him the body that he should have always had. It’s really not a big deal.
I am embarrassed by the backlash this casting choice has caused. There are Christian based groups calling for all Christians to boycott the show until Chaz is pulled off. They are upset that now their kids cannot watch the show because Chaz has made it not family friendly TV.
These same groups are saying that Carson Kressley, another contestant, who is openly gay, should be replaced. I’ve got news for the people who are calling for the boycott, look around your church and I can guarantee you that you are looking at all kinds of gay.
Chaz Bono is brave and while I don’t know him, I like him. He has a voice that needs to be heard and by his dancing, whether he speaks a word or not, allows his voice to be heard loud and clear. The only thing these crazy Christian groups have done is guarantee he gets my vote.
I will vote for Chaz Bono for his bravery. Even if he sucks in the beginning, I am going to continue to vote for him until he gets his dancing legs and gets better. I want him to dance his ass off, get healthy, and become a smoking hot guy by the end of the season. Praise Jesus.
The only thing these crazy people have done is increase the chances of Chaz getting to the finals. I was going to vote for him regardless, but now I’m going to vote a few more times, just to piss off these losers. They are an embarrassment to not only me, but to God.
Whatever faith you follow, no matter what you call your God, and no matter what level of observance you are, God does not like hate, intolerance, or crazy people saying that they know what he wants, what he likes, and what he thinks will stop people from seeing him in heaven.
I wish Chaz Bono much success on the show, and hope it is a joyous experience for him. Instead of boycotting DWTS, I am boycotting crazy Christian groups who think they know what God wants. God loves everyone. Know that. God is good, and I’m just keeping it real.
** I will be guest hosting the Keeping It Real Radio Show on Monday, September 5th, at 4:00 PST and 7:00 EST, so listen on the radio or online, and call in if you’d like to chat. It will be a fun hour of talking about anything, and everything.
August 30, 2011 | 1:32 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
It’s Monday night and that means it’s Bachelor Pad night. Let the blogging begin! We start off with Jake getting the boot, which we knew was coming, but still, you have to wonder how dumb these people are that they do not vote off Casey and Vienna. The power couples always need to go first.
To clarify, we don’t really need to wonder about how dumb they are because we know. They are dumber than rocks, which is mean if you’re a rock. Jake makes a lame speech about how they made a mistake, and need to vote out the couples. It’s was stupid, but Jake is stupid so it made sense.
He then apologizes to Vienna, but does not clarify what he is sorry for. Is he sorry for asking her to marry him when he is gay? Jake is sweet, but a liar. In his limo ride home he says making peace with Vienna was the reason he came on the show. Of course it was you reality television fame whore.
Time for the kissing contest challenge, and I am ready with a bucket next to the couch for my puke, and I’m opening a bottle of wine, which I will drink with a straw so I keep typing, which is just sad. Michelle refuses to participate so she can set a good example for her daughter. Really? Too late Sweetie.
Everyone is kissing everyone else and it’s nauseating. I’m kinda skipping over it because it’s just too painful, but here are a couple of things worth mentioning: Blake is a disgusting pig, Holly is a whore, Erica is hilarious, Melissa is gross, and Ella is beautiful and my pick to win.
The contest made me sad for Michael. It’s hilarious everyone was surprised Casey had bad breath. Seriously? He kisses skank all day so what were they expecting? Ella wins for the girls and Blake for the guys. Each of them gets a rose and a romantic date.
Ella goes first and picks Kirk for her date. I actually love these two together and I want them to win. They head out and we are left listening to Melissa. This chick is a freaking loon and I expect her to start cooking a rabbit on the stove at any moment. She is mentally unstable.
She is talking to Blake about how great their date is going to be, but he has no plans to pick her. He is scared of her and it’s brilliant. There is no way this chick passed a psychological exam to be on this show. Bentley looks like a saint compared to Blake, who is a douchelord.
I am watching Ella and Kirk on their date and I want them to not only win, but get married, have a baby and live happily ever after. They just match and I want them to be in love. They won’t of course, but I will hope for it until the very end. Stranger things have happened so there is hope.
Back at the house Erica is hitting on Blake and I am once again puking, which is a waste of really good wine. Important to note it’s not Erica that makes me sick, it’s Blake. Erica is entertaining and harmless, but Blake is a pig and I want all his teeth to fall out while he is talking.
Blake gets his date card and he chooses to dump Melissa, ignore Erica, and takes Holly. Holly says yes because she is a stupid whore, and while it’s sad to see Mike’s reaction, I am laughing my ass off, as Melissa demands an explanation, then runs out of the room in search of a bunny.
Michelle wants to be supportive but Melissa is dumb and can’t hear the support through her own sobbing. How is it that Michelle is the calm voice here? She is a loon and we all know she is going to snap at some point. Blake comes to talk to Melissa and she is convinced she can get him out.
Melissa talks smack about Blake to everyone and she is mixing yogurt as she speaks and even the way she stirs the yogurt is crazy. She’s a little scary. She keeps looking directly into the camera which is creepy and fabulous. She is running around looking for Blake. Dear Lord.
Melissa is passive aggressive and if she spoke to everyone like she speaks to the camera she might of had a shot. LOL. As if. She never had a shot. She finds Blake who says he needs to brush his teeth for another 40 seconds and she stands there like a complete loser waiting.
Blake and Hollywhore fly to Mammoth. She is talking about how she has never had such a great date, ever. Does she not realize when she talks to the camera Mike will see it? She is mean and dumb. Mike is a mess, especially when he sees they are spending the night away.
Hollywhore and Blake get back and Mike professes his love for her. He is spilling his heart to her and she lies and says she thought about him a lot when she was away. Skank. She tells him she kissed Blake and he is pissed. These people are children and I’m over Holly’s crying.
It’s about to be the rose ceremony and everyone is deciding who to vote off. Rather than vote of Vienna and Casey, which is what smart people would do, they are torn between Erica, Melissa, William and Casey. Melissa cannot handle the pressure and has a nervous breakdown.
Casey says he needs the win or his grandmother will die. What the hell is that? William is going because everyone is too dumb to vote off Casey. Melissa is running around like the crazy person she is, demanding that people tell her if they are voting for her. She needs to be medicated.
Speaking of medicated, is it just me or does she look like she is a crystal meth addict? I watch Intervention and she’s got the look. Mike and Holly have a little date, but she is selfish and needs to dump him for good and stop playing games with his heart. She’s not nice.
Watching Melissa lose her mind is oddly entertaining. Sad to be sure, but still, really entertaining. William gets kicked off, which we knew already, then Melissa. Poor crystal meth Melissa has been dumped. Again. She is so distraught she can’t even give a good bye speech in the limo.
She is in the car having an ugly cry, and Michelle speaks on her behalf. In the car, Melissa turns her back to the camera and goes into the fetal position. This show is brutal and I feel for Melissa, but if you are going to go on this show, you must be ready, willing, and able to keep it real.
August 29, 2011 | 9:54 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
The latest cast of Dancing With the Stars has been revealed and it’s not great. I love this show and always look forward to hearing who is going to give it a try, but this cast is hilarious if you consider all the hoopla they talked about in getting A-listers.
There is not an A-lister in the bunch, but it does not matter. We watch the ones we love with excitement, and like to make fun of the ones who we think are lame, and there will be a lot to make fun of this season. That is the glory of Dancing With The Stars.
Ron Artest: This is going to be the wild card of the show and by wild card of course I mean the most entertaining. We love Ron here in LA and I know he will make tuning in worthwhile.
David Arquette: I want him to do well, and he is the guy I am most pulling for. I hope it’s fun for him and that he gets joy out of it. He seems sweet and a little lost and I want him to be good.
Chaz Bono: This one is interesting. This is a brave and thoughtful man and I hope he is respected and not seen as a freak show. Good for him and I hope he does well and gets healthy.
Elisabetta Canalis: Dear Lord. This only would have made sense if she were still dating my boyfriend George and there was a shot in hell that he might come to watch her. She is not a star.
Kristin Cavallari: Oh. My. God. I don’t get why this chick is famous. She should marry Rob Kardashian and get lost. I want her to sprain her ankle and not even make it to the first show.
Nancy Grace: I love her and it will be interesting to see how she looks in a ball gown with such big balls. I think she is lovely, but hard-core, and I hope she stays true to that on the show.
Rob Kardashian: Are they kidding? I am starting to pray right now that he is the first one voted off. I am over the Kardashian clan and the only one that would have been interesting is Khloe.
Carson Kressley: I am a fan of this guy. He is funny and charming and I want very much for him to do well. He will be entertaining so twinkle toes or not, he will get some votes from me.
Ricki Lake: She is arguable the only real “star” of the bunch and I like her. She danced her ass off in hairspray and I hope she kills it. She is likeable and a mom, so good for her. Go Ricki.
J.R. Martinez: He is a fan favorite before he steps foot on the dance floor. He is a hero and every vote for him is a vote for America and that is a powerful thing. I’m happy here’s on the show.
Chynna Phillips: She was famous a long time ago, for a short time, and I figure she begged to be on the show, rather than them reaching out to her. Good for her I guess. She will go fast.
Hope Solo: She is an amazing athlete and I get why she is here. Maybe this can help people remember her for being a good dancer not the girl that sank the dreams of women’s soccer.
The best part of this show each season is Tom Bergeron and I look forward to seeing him. He is the best live host on television and this show cannot end before he wins an Emmy for it.
It will be a great season even though the cast is more lame than fame. I will be watching, blogging, loving, and hating. Season 13 of DWTS will be addictive, and I will be keeping it real.
August 28, 2011 | 8:59 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I was looking forward to Jersey Shore’s special Sunday episode and in the end was a little disappointed. I have been over Ronnie and Sam forever and this episode put me over the edge. As I watched I was actually praying her head would explode. By her head exploding, of course I mean I wished someone would knock her out so she would just shut up.
We see the big fight between Mike and Ronnie and while we all thought Ronnie knocked him out, he actually knocked himself out. He pounded his own head into a concrete wall. The poor old guy lost his mind and knocked himself out for a second. We’ve all heard of the Great Wall of China, but did you know there was a Great Wall of Florence?
Mike is on the floor and Sammi is screaming and her voice makes my skin crawl. Mike and Ronnie go at it again, the crew jumps in to break them up and Sammi is still talking. Why can’t this girl just shut the F*&^ up? She keeps talking, everyone is begging her to stop, but she just keeps on talking. Why MTV does not fire her ass is beyond me.
Pauly was joking, but right on when he said the reason Mike threw himself into the Great Wall of Florence, was because he was trying to kill himself so he didn’t have to listen to Sammi and Ronnie anymore. It’s a valid reason. An ambulance is called and Mike is taken to the hospital to make sure he is not hurt. In the end all the fight hype was lame.
Jenny goes to talk to Ron and Sammi is pissed because she thinks she is the only one who can understand him or help him. Jenny is begging her to go and Sammi is still talking. I can’t stand Sammi and I seriously think this chick needs help, and by help of course I mean sent home. Jenny has become the grown up of the group and she is my new favorite.
Ronnie tells Sammi that he loves her, but being with her is toxic. He is trying to be apologetic but she is obsessed with who he has been talking to. What am I missing here? They were broken up for months so did she think he was home waiting for her? Sammi is not only a bitch, but she is dumb. By dumb of course I mean really, really stupid.
Sam storms off because she is done, for the millionth time, and Ronnie packs to go home. Again. Vinny talks to Ron and tells him he should not go home. Vinny is the Dr. Phil of Jersey Shore according to Ronnie and in the end Dr. Vinny wins and Ronnie decides that he should stay, ride it all out, and not give up his opportunity to be in Italy.
Mike is kept overnight for observation and sent home. He takes a cab home and crawls into bed with his sprained neck and slight head trauma. Ronnie tells him he is sorry and did not mean what he said. Really? He meant every word that he said. The merry-go-round of words and apologies on this show is ridiculous. They are drowning in there own crap.
Ronnie gets up and leaves the house to spend the day alone. He goes to the gym and then out to eat. Then, with what I am sure is absolutely no scripting, Vinny, Jenny, Deena and Pauly happen to walk into the exact same restaurant to eat as Ronnie. Seriously, what are the odds of that happening? You have got to laugh and love it all.
They are all talking about how he needs to dump Sammi for good and it’s sad. Sad that he can’t let her go, and sad that we are watching. Snooki and Jenny get flowers from their men at home and listening to Snooki talk to Jionni is hilarious. She cracks me up and their conversation is like listening to a whore talk to a priest about sex, and it’s quite cute.
Mike is home alone and crying. He feels abandoned and sad that everyone went out and left him alone. It’s nice to see him so vulnerable and it’s the first time that he is appealing. His appeal lasted about 10 seconds. He is a pig. Sammi takes all of the things Ronnie gave her and put them on his bed. Ron finds it and throws it all in the trash.
Sam gave them back, he threw them out, and she is pissed. She says she was mature by returning it, but throwing it out is going too far. She takes all the stuff out of the garbage and keeps it. She makes me sick and in the end maybe these two losers deserve each other. Mike and Ronnie make up, I guess, since they talk without listening.
The girls go out for dinner and I think it’s funny that they are out at a Mexican restaurant in Florence. The guys go out too and leave Mike home. The boys go to a club and of course there is drama. Pauly is dancing with a girl, some guy is pissed about it, and Ronnie is with a grenade. Pauly walks away from the fight and Ronnie dumps the grenade.
Snooks tells Mike she is still mad at him, but wants him to know she loves him and is glad he is okay. Snook’s blonde streaks make her look like she is balding and Mike thinks she and her boyfriend are not meant for each other. Leaving the club, Ronnie buys flowers for Sammi, which makes no sense at all. He hates her, but buys her flowers? Whatever.
He gives her the flowers and they fight yet again. Sammi wants to know why he bought the flowers, why he is mean to her, and why he is ignoring her. It’s gross. He then takes back the flowers, throws them in the garbage, and she is once again pulling stuff from the trash. This special bonus episode was lame and I hope Thursday goes back to keeping it real.
August 26, 2011 | 8:42 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
This week starts with the Situation sending his whore home, immediately followed by Vinny sending his whore, the identical twin to Mike’s whore, home. Vinny’s whore made out with Deena, then did Vinny, so it’s completely understandable that she stumbled out of the house and almost fell down the stairs. These guys are classy, just like their women.
The boys go out to eat and it’s when you see the four boys together that you realize Mike is not that good looking. On his own there is a cuteness to him, but with the other guys, he just looks like the old, less attractive one. All the girls go out to eat also and they are talking about Mike’s accusations about Snooki, and Deena’s temporary lesbianism.
When everyone is home, Sunday dinner is being prepared and there is all kinds of crap going on. The boys are making fun of Deena for her trip to Lesbieville, and she is pissed off. Snooki is calling her boyfriend to tell him about what Mike is telling everyone. I love Snooki and think she is the best part of this show, but I think she may be lying. Snooki slept with Mike. Ew.
Jionni tells Snooks he believes her, everything is fine, and he will be in Italy to see her in 3 weeks. The girls get dressed up with huge hats and lots of boobs and it’s hilarious. Jenny is truly a beautiful girl. Dinner is on and nobody is talking, until Mike breaks the ice and starts talking about Deena stealing the girl from Vinny. Mike is a crap disturber.
Vinny says Deena should not steal chicks from him because he might like the girl. Really? Is he kidding? These guys don’t like women. They like sex and putting notches on their belts. It is what it is, we all watch and dig it, so don’t start with the crap about liking girls Vinny. Not buying it. Dinner is over and Pauly and Vinny want to punish Deena a little.
They take Deena’s bed out of their room and put it in the living room. Deena is crushed, Jenny jumps to her defense, and the guys say they are just kidding. Deena is having a little nervous breakdown and Jenny is not having it. She tells the boys they are mean and go gets Deena and forces everyone to talk about it, so there is no tension in the house.
I love Jenny. Deena tells Pauly he is different now and Pauly says it’s her that has changed. I love Pauly too. He explains himself well and Deena acknowledges that it’s her. She is drinking too much, and has lost her way. Deena is lovely and I feel for her. They are all living unreal lives and it’s a lot of pressure. She will be fine. I hope she will be fine.
Pauly comes out the winner and I am proud of him for clearing the air and hugging it out with Deena so she can have some peace. Everyone goes to bed and the morning brings the first day of work for the first shift. Snooks, Deena and Pauly head to the pizza parlor. Seeing Deena and Snooks in flat shoes next to Pauly, you realize how really little they are.
The girls are in the shop and Pauly is sent out onto the street to hand out flyers. Pauly is flirting with everyone and being hilarious. Snooks is washing dishes and hating her hat because it is rubbing off her bronzer. She decides the best way to get through her first day is to booze it up. Snooki is drinking a lot this season which is interesting considering her arrest last year.
She gets a customer to buy them a bottle of wine and proceeds to chug away at an entire bottle. The owner busts her, and he is not too thrilled. Her apparent alcoholism aside, Snooki is hilarious. The boss dumps the wine down the sink and Snooks says its alcohol abuse because she could have drunk it. I want to go out for dinner with Snooki.
Back at the house Jenny is concerned Ronnie is back with Sammi, but still talking to Hannah, the girl he’s been seeing, who he has invited to Italy. Oy vey. Jenny and Ronnie go shopping and he buys a bunch of stuff for Sammi. She is in love, and they are going out for dinner. She might be in love, but he appears to not really care either way. Blow up pending on this one.
The gang all goes out to a new club and everyone is having fun and getting trashed. Ronnie is dancing, there is chick within a few feet of him, Sammi is plastered, and of course looses her mind and wants to have a deep conversation about it. Ronnie dumps her. Again. I find everything about these two to be annoying. I wish they never went to Italy.
Pauly and Mike get a couple of chicks and everyone heads home. Pauly’s chick decides she’s not into it, so she is bailing. She gets her friend from Mike and she bails too. I’m not sure why a girl would go to a guy’s house at 4 am and think they are going to knit. The girls leave and Mike calls Brittney the whore back and makes sure she knows it’s only for an hour.
Sam is talking crap about Mike, Ronnie is hammered and fed up with Sammi, which turns into his being fed up with Mike, and it’s going to get ugly. Mike is on a couch, Ronnie goes over and with one hand lifts the couch to get Mike up. It was fantastic and watching him walk around without a shirt, like an ape, it’s oddly attractive. I’m digging me some juicehead.
Sammi is an idiot. She is the cause of all the problems, which is good television, but she needs to get help not be on television. Sammi tells Mike what he said, Mike denies it, and Ronnie goes over the edge. Mike is very calm until Ronnie starts to throw all of Mike’s stuff out of their room. MTV made us think we got to see the fight this week, but they were teasing for next week.
The fight between Ronnie and Mike looks brutal, and crosses a line for me. Ronnie is a big guy and one good hit, or one solid fall, could have killed Mike and I wonder how MTV would have handled that. What exactly needs to happen in order for them to cut Sammi from this show? I love this show but this fight is a little much for even me. They are courting disaster.
Single Ronnie is awesome, but both couple and single Sammi is useless, and she does not need to be on this show. Something is going to cross the line eventually, it will be really bad, and I am willing to bet it will somehow be because of Sammi. Next week’s show looks sad, and while I know everyone is okay, MTV needs to dump Sammi and keep it real.