Posted by Ilana Angel
We start this week with Lisa celebrating that Dayana has been sent home. She is miserable and it’s a real shame because she has built a career on being tough and raunchy, but still funny. We have seen that in real life she is not tough, mean, and not that funny.
The task is to do an ad campaign for Elle Magazine that will feature the Chi touch screen hair dryer. The owner of the company is there and he is on Aubrey like white on rice. The Elle chick is beautiful, and the VP for the Chi company has a Sandusky vibe that is creepy.
In a random moment, Trump tells the Chi guy Aubrey has gotten more beautiful each week, the Chi says her hair is beautiful, and she says her color is natural. Right. They flirt with each other for a second which makes me throw up in my mouth for real. This week will be weird.
Aubrey is taking over, doing everything, and giving Arsenio and Teresa useless duties to keep them out her way. Over with Lisa and Clay, Lisa is happy to have it be just them because she likes Clay, but if he drops the ball she will throw him under the bus. She’s in it to win.
Aubrey is doing a yoga, peace theme, which I think is lame. Lisa is using a don’t judge a book by it’s cover theme, which makes no sense. Both concepts are dumb and don’t focus on the product, but whatever. Lisa and Teresa are now going to negotiate for the models.
Lisa does not care what models they use, but Teresa is set on who she wants, so Lisa plays with her like a mouse plays with a cat. She is bullying, manipulating, and confusing Teresa, which is sad, but hilarious. Lisa is funny in this scene, which is a nice change. Teresa is totally bulldozed.
Teresa caves and does what Lisa says, then tells the camera Lisa is dirty and she will fight back. Teresa is obviously going home this week. She has done a great job here, I loved her on this show, and she can be proud of herself. She played fair and was ousted by a bitch. It happens.
Aubrey is annoyed Teresa did not negotiate better. Eric Trump arrives and they explain how Teresa tanked with Lisa, and he tells the camera she “may go home for this”. Predictable. Aubrey is explaining it all to Eric, Teresa is embarrassed, and we know how it ends so why watch?
Lisa goes shopping for their photo shoot. Teresa is still pissed at Lisa for killing her in the negotiations, and Aubrey is saving the team by doing everything all by herself. Aubrey could run the world. Just ask her, she’ll tell you as much. Repeatedly.
Aubrey offers to be a model. She is out of control. Bless her and her massive balls. If Trump wanted the best player to win, it would be Aubrey. The problem is that she is not humble, or kind, so we all think she is a skank. Had she been nice, she’d be a fan favorite. Too bad.
Clay is not able to do the job without Lisa, who returns late. Wth the clock ticking, they show Clay running around like a chicken with his head cut off, and Lisa eating. It was not nice, but she deserves to be treated unkindly so she can get a taste of her own medicine.
Aubrey is having her picture taken and it’s hilarious. She is hanging out with her boobs exposed, talking about she should be a hair model. I think she also said she invented cars, nail polish, and television, but I was pouring my wine and may have misheard her. She’s out of control.
It’s presentation time and Teresa tanks. Their campaign has nice pictures but no information. The Chi guy is lusting after Aubrey, the VP guy is creepy, and the Elle chick is useless. Without seeing the other team you know Teresa is losing and going home.
Clay and Lisa present, and while the pictures are not as nice, they have a better presentation. Listening to the judges spend five minutes talking about the teams is boring and I’m skipping over it. Blah. Blah. Blah. Let me say again, this show should only be an hour long. ONE HOUR Trump!
We are 56 minutes into a two hour show and the boardroom has already started. Really? What the hell is going on here? Trump starts with asking Teresa about the negotiations and I‘m bored. There is nothing of any interest being said and I am resentful this is all they are giving us.
Eric and Don Jr. tell the teams what was good and bad. Trump spends ten minutes asking everyone who should go home which is lame. Who cares what they think? Of course they all want to save themselves. No big surprise here, Teresa loses and she’ll be out.
Important to note there are still 40 minutes left and I am not even listening anymore. Teresa is trying to save herself, Arsenio is trying to say he actually did something, and Aubrey is sitting there with a smug look because she knows she is not going anywhere. Teresa is out.
Aubrey and Teresa keep using the word, “overlook”, but I think they mean, “oversee”, and it’s bugging me. I’m pouring another glass of wine. I see their mouths moving, but all I hear is the teacher from the old Charlie Brown cartoons. I can’t understand anything they say.
With Teresa is out, Trump brings in John Rich and Marlee Matlin from last year to interview the final four. I love Marlee and Rich but there is no way in hell I am sitting through this. They are all begging to stay and it’s gross. I could have missed something good, but I don’t care.
Trump goes after Lisa for not being in control of her emotions, then out of nowhere, Lisa is canned. The woman who has been fighting all season, kisses everyone, is sweet, kind and gracious. Really? Totally disappointed that she did not leave guns blazing.
We are down to Aubrey, Arsenio and Clay. Next week Arsenio will be fired in the first 10 minutes, and it will be down to Clay and Aubrey. Aubrey will win. It’s been a good but predictable season. I’m in to the end, but glad it’s over and hope the finale can keep it real.
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
11.25.13 at 11:14 pm | They started off strong, but tonight tanked.
11.25.13 at 9:02 pm | Some of this episode was uncomfortable to watch.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (3795)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (3136)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (2963)
May 7, 2012 | 7:56 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
This show has gotten dark and mean. Like most of the housewives franchise, it has lost its fun factor and we are now watching fighting, gossip, and scripted crap. After last week’s blog, people wrote to say my blog was not funny as much as it was mean, and they wonder why there was a change. I don’t agree that I am mean, but one could argue that my recaps are a reflection of the show so it makes sense I am giving what I am getting.
Some of the comments came from die hard Melissa Gorga fans, and since I called her a shady and untrustworthy fame whore, I can understand how they may have taken offense. The truth is hard to take and makes people lash out, so I won’t take it personally. I will continue to write about the shows as I see them, and not worry too much about the fact that Melissa’s fans don’t like my blog. They like her, so there is no accounting for taste.
This show this week put my own relationship to the test. In an attempt to understand my work and why I watch so much reality television, my Englishman watched the show with me. Important to note he has been my boyfriend for a minute so it was a little nerve wracking to subject him to the madness of New Jersey. I am happy to report that while he will NEVER watch it again, we made it through and his observations were brilliant.
We start off at Teresa’s shore house where the troops are gathering for a boat ride. Caroline is out, but Kathy, Melissa, Jac and spouses are in. Teresa is telling Jac about the US Weekly article where she says she was worried about Juicy going to jail, and Juicy saying if he goes away Joe Gorga will not help Teresa. I read the article and it was tabloid fluff so I’m not sure why anyone paid any attention to it. It was easy money and that’s all.
Caroline is at home with her annoying kids, suffering through menopause, and one must wonder what the hell Lauren was thinking when she agreed to make her weight issue a storyline. Lauren says she has lost 5 pounds and fits into a size 8. Really? Does she mean her shoe size? Perhaps her ring size? She is talking about how she wants to be rich, so is her weight is a direct link to how rich she will be? Not too bright this one.
Over at Teresa’s they are going out for a boat ride and leaving all the kids at home with cousin Rosie. Rosie is the very best part of this show and she needs to get her own spin off. Watching her with the kids is hilarious. She needs cigarettes and wine breaks to just get through and even the Englishman perked up a little and announced that Rosie was a cool lady and he’d rather watch her over the “plastic surgery” ones. I love him.
Jac is talking about Ashley and reminding us that she is a bad mother. She then tells the group Caroline is going through menopause and Teresa figures that is why she has been a total bitch to her lately. Wrong. Teresa dear, she is mean to you because she is jealous you are famous and successful away from the show, while she is forced to come to terms with the fact that her children are a sad lot with no real money making ability.
Melissa lets us know she is humble and sweet like Jac. Really? Juicy decides he wants to talk about the black eye Richie gave him last week and it’s pathetic. Juicy is pissed, Teresa is annoyed, Kathy is offended, and Richie could care less. Teresa reminds everyone that she is funny, haha, and you can’t help but think Bravo is scraping the editing room floor trying to pull together an hour of television. There is just nothing here.
At Caroline’s house Lauren and her boyfriend Vito are over for dinner and her dad and brother’s are making fun of their weight. Everyone talks about how hard it is for her to be with her two successful brothers. Really? Successful? Albie lets us know he is seeing a new girl and I guess he is talking about who cuts his hair because I’m guessing her is not dating her. The weight loss storyline is not interesting or funny, just lame.
Jac’s psychic is having a summer solstice party and she is taking everyone with her. Jac and Melissa are scripted to be at Caroline’s so they can drive over together, but really it’s just a chance for Caroline to bash Teresa. Melissa tells Caroline that Teresa said she would dump her bother for a richer guy and that sets off Caroline. She says Teresa is a bully, and lets Mel know she is willing to destroy her family to get rid of her. Really?
Caroline cannot stand it that Teresa is famous. Granted, Teresa has said some dumb things, but that’s Teresa. She is sweet and simple, there is nothing complicated about her. She may not have made good decisions about her book, but come on people. It was funny, haha. Now, when people need to tell you something is funny, it is probably not funny, plus it’s not like Teresa has changed. She is who she always was, and Caroline is green with envy.
Teresa is driving to the solstice party with Kim D. I don’t get this chick and have never liked her on the show. Sidebar: I follow Penny Drossos on Twitter. Penny is the own of the La Chateau salon in Jersey where all the ladies go to get their hair done, and where everyone must talk about them. Penny should be a new housewife. We all know all the best stories are told in a salon and Penny knows more than anyone. Hire Penny as a housewife Bravo!
Melissa is dressed a little whorish and Caroline tells the camera we cannot accuse her if being phony. Really? Caroline is a poser and while I liked her in the beginning, she is now calculated and trying to find ways to be relevant. She is now just like Danielle. Desperately trying to make us care about her, which we just don’t. Rosie confronts Teresa about Melissa marrying Joe Gorga for money and it’s too bad Rosie got involved. Not her place.
Kathy talks about how old school she is and I wonder what exactly does it mean to be old school? A back stabbing gossip? Is that old school? Jac talks to Teresa, Jac then tells Melissa to go talk to Teresa, then Jac goes to gossip about it with Caroline, and it’s ridiculous. Just like Atlanta, these chicks don’t like each other and forcing them to be in these situations makes no sense, is not entertaining, and frankly bores the crap out of me.
Sidebar: Here are some direct quotes from my Englishman: “Who the hell are these women? Are they real people? Do they all have the same plastic surgeon? What the hell is she wearing? That is the makeup of a hooker. Why are we watching this babe? How much longer is this on? You are too good a writer to be writing about this crap.” Important to note there was some profanity used so while slightly altered, the quotes are authentic.
Teresa tells everyone she does not want to talk about Juicy going to jail, then Melissa talks about jail and Teresa bails. Melissa tells the camera she does not understand why Teresa gets so upset about the word jail and one has to wonder exactly how mean is Melissa? She told her not to mention it, and she did. I feel bad for Teresa, but at the same time, Teresa cannot tell every tabloid Juicy may go to jail, them get mad when people talk about it.
Melissa is her family and she should have respected Teresa’s request. It’s silly Teresa is pissed off, but the issue here is that she asks for them to not do it and Melissa purposely did not listen, which is simply not nice. Teresa storms off and Caroline is all over it. Jac goes to talk to Teresa and the hostess is begging her to come back because she wants more camera time. Jac makes it about her and I must say, I do not like this woman.
Jac is a hot mess and I can see how it is that her daughter cannot stand her. Melissa is talking to Kathy and Caroline and being a total airhead. Kathy says she feels bad for Teresa, which is lame because she also slams Teresa every chance she gets. Jac goes to get Melissa so they can talk again and Melissa goes back out which was dumb. Melissa needs to stay away from her and Teresa needs to stop giving this chick chances. It needs to be over.
Teresa and Melissa are now fighting like kids in the parking lot and it is sad. I like both of them in different ways and for different reasons, and this is pathetic. I feel bad for both of them and can agree with both of them depending on which way the wind is blowing. When push comes to shove, Teresa is doing the best she can and Melissa seems unwilling to help her. She cannot take the high road and likes the drama more than anything.
In the parking lot fight I’m feeling a confused. I truly do see both sides, but in the end, if I were forced to pick a side, I would side with cancelling the Housewives of New Jersey and giving Rosie her own show. Caroline is saying that Melissa and Joe need to walk away from Teresa and it is fascinating. Caroline is a bitter hag and she needs to just shut the hell up and worry about her talentless kids, and leave this family alone. Enough.
Tonight we learned that Jac is wishy-washy and quite dumb, Caroline is bitter and bored, Kathy brings nothing to the table, Teresa is going through a hard time, and Melissa cares more about fame than family. We also learned that no good can come of inviting fairies to your party. Damn those fairies. I like this show and these chicks, but they need to get it together because it’s boring and repetitive. None of them are keeping it real.
May 5, 2012 | 12:41 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
This show has become so painful to watch it is has taken me almost a week to blog about it. I watched it on Sunday with all of you, and sat down a half dozen times to write about it, and just couldn’t do it. I feel like every week is the same show. The players are predicable, Trump is predictable, that I will need a minimum of three drinks to get through it, is predicable.
We start with Aubrey giving her charity a check for $50K. She makes it all about her not the charity, which I think is gross. The funny thing is when the employee from GLISTEN comes in to get the money, she puts out her hand to shake with Aubrey, and Aubrey goes in for the hug. Not sure why I thought this was funny, but that she was not into the hug, was entertaining.
Dayana is project manager of Clay and Lisa. Arsenio is leader of Teresa and Aubrey. They need to write a jingle for an RV company. As the teams are leaving to start the task, Trump reminds us Aubrey is a Playboy model not a singer, and wishes Dayana luck, which means she will be the one to go home this week. It’s so predictable I need to drink.
Dayana does not know what a jingle is, and assumes it has to do with Christmas. Clay is explaining to Dayana that the melody should come before the lyrics, and Lisa agrees as if she is a music mogul. Dayana is so sweet, so pretty, and so dumb. Lisa is so mean, so ugly, and so rude. Clay is resentful he is not team leader as he is the only one with the ability to win this one.
Arsenio and Aubrey are fighting while poor Teresa is stuck in the car with the lunatics. Aubrey suggests Arsenio tap dances, which puts him over the edge. She tells the camera Arsenio is a girl who wears cheerleading outfits at home. Aubrey O’Day is an ugly human being. Her voice, hair, makeup, and injected lips make me want to punch something. Like a face. Hers.
The executive comes to meet with Arsenio’s team and Aubrey takes over and manipulates Arsenio to do what she wanted to do from the beginning. She’s good. A complete bitch, but good. Meanwhile Clay and Lisa are in sync about their song, and Dayana is simply not getting it. She also has a chip on her shoulder. It’s justified I suppose, but getting old already.
Arsenio has decided the best way for his team to win is to kiss Aubrey’s ass so she doesn’t get pissed off. Good call. Over with Clay, he and Lisa hate Dayana and let the camera know she is useless, not needed, and slowing them down. It’s add because she is very sweet, but making a complete fool out of herself because she is a fish out of water and has no clue.
Don Jr. goes to check on the teams and for some reason takes Aubrey off alone to talk to her. She throws Arsenio under the bus and it’s gross. Almost as gross as her flirting with all the Trumps, and their seeming to like it. Arsenio thinks kissing her ass and taking control, but she is eating him alive, then spitting him out all over the floor and stepping on him.
Don then goes to see Clay’s team and all hell breaks loose. Dayana says Clay and Lisa are not respecting her, and Lisa starts screaming and crying. Again. She storms off in a rage having told Don Jr. Dayana is a moron. It’s entertaining I suppose, but we see it coming so it’s really just silly. Dayana tries to talk to Lisa and she tells her to F off. Lisa is a hot mess.
Lisa is being a child, telling Dayana that unless she says she’s sorry, she is not interested in talking to her. Dayana is talking smack about Lisa, which is true, but makes her look like as much of a baby as Lisa. Dayana is on the verge of tears, and Lisa vows to bury her in the boardroom. They set it all up for us, which is a drag. Dayana is getting fried. Predictable.
Arsenio is sweet and I like him so it’s sad to watch him talk about how great Aubrey is being on the task, when she is crapping all over him to the camera. He must be watching this at home and wishing he had smacked her. Or perhaps regretting that he allowed her crotch to rest on his neck. I bet he’s not thinking she is too cute right now. Poor guy is being humiliated.
Aubrey flashes her Spanx again, and takes over the whole show. Arsenio is pissed she has taken over, but is not willing to acknowledge she had to because he was not doing his job. Clay finally loses it on Dayana and starts screaming at her. Then turns to Lisa for back up. Dayana needs to get fired so this show can get interesting again. She is wrecking it.
The teams present their jingles. I happen to think that both of them were horrible. I had never heard of the company “Good Sam’s”, and based on these two jingles I will forget them by the time the show is over. It’s a drag for these companies that they spend time and money to be on this show and then get nothing out of it. Blah, blah, blah. So boring.
We are now in the boardroom. Lisa and Dayana are going at it and it’s quite funny. Dayana is calm and ladylike while Lisa is unraveling. Lisa cries and is simply out of control. She is talking again about how successful she is, and how she has risen to the top in a man’s world. It’s a broken record of the Lisa Show. Fire Dayana already. I can’t drink anymore!
Aubrey gets into the drama and it’s not even her team. Ivanka is talking about how it may be a failure of leadership on Dayana’s part, and Aubrey jumps right in and says she can lead anyone and that is why she is so great. Lisa is going off and I must tell you, I’m actually liking her right now. “This is not Celebrity Ms. Universe.” It’s freaking awesome.
Dayana says Lisa cries too much, which pisses me off too. I don’t think there is anything wrong with crying. Lisa and Dayana are battling and everyone else is laughing. Clay is turning red and holding in his laughter, which is brilliant. Trump turns to Clay for some insight and Clay says that while he may not have said it the same way, he agrees with Lisa.
Clay is trying to be sweet and does a good job I guess. He can be bitchy, but he is mellowing out, coming into his own, owning his talent, and kicking some ass. As predicted, based on the predictability of this train wreck, Arsenio’s team wins and we will now watch Lisa and Dayana fight a little bit more before she finally has her gorgeous ass sent home.
Dayana, who bitched Lisa out for crying so much, starts to quiver and you know a cry is right there waiting to come out. Awesome. I hope she starts bawling. Clay says he does not respect Dayana. Trump tells her she is fabulous then fires her and Clay tries to look sad but it’s not cutting it. Lisa hugs her goodbye and says she is a good person. Really?
Lisa attempting to be nice to Dayana was stupid and I expected more from her. Dayana’s parting words are that the players should not be evil, dishonest, or fake. Beautiful, but dumb. Next week two are eliminated and I predict Teresa and Arsenio will be out. By next week, of course I mean tomorrow. I will try to blog in a more timely fashion. Waiting a week is not keeping it real!
May 1, 2012 | 10:04 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Bethenny Ever After continues to be a massive crock-pot of crap. It is slow moving, repetitive, predictable, and painful to watch. There are things that just don’t match up, which makes sense since this is a show about Bethenny and none of her stories add up. She has been lying about her life for so long that she cannot help herself and needs to lie here too. I watch this show with fascination and while I don’t blog about it on a regular basis, I have made myself a real margarita and have decided to jump back in this week.
We start the show with Bethenny, her castrated husband, and her paid friends still in Mexico. It is unbelievable to me that Jason agrees to be on this show. He went from being a delicious man I thought was fabulous, to a week man I have no respect for. The relationship between Jason and Bethenny is odd. There is no chemistry, no passion, no love, and apparently not even any like. Since Bethenny loves therapy so much, they are going to music therapy, which is a pathetic way to fill an hour of television.
The music therapy is beyond stupid. Bethenny is crude and inappropriate, Jason looks at her with a puzzled look that could be translated to either “What the hell am I doing here?” or, “Sitting is much more comfortable with no balls.” It is 10 minutes of useless television that is not entertaining on any level. The fact that the commercial breaks are almost five minutes long are a clear indication that they are scraping the editing room floor to pull together any semblance of a show. This truly is a bunch of crap.
They go to a church, make lame jokes, and RaRa starts to cry. She misses her family, blah, blah, blah. Bethenny tries to make us think she is the supportive and caring friend, but it’s stupid. Then Jason walks off to give them a moment together, and Bethenny uses the time with RaRa to ask her if she will be Bryn’s mom should her and Jason die. Is she freaking kidding me? She is asking a woman to raise her child and does not think that Jason should be part of that special moment? Bethenny is a raging bitch.
Julie is the Godmother, but she is not asked. Jason has two loving and caring parents, but they are not asked. Instead, this young woman, who they have known for a year, is going to raise their child should they die? It’s strange and wrong. There clearly has been a falling out of some kind with Bethenny and Julie and I’d love to know what it is. Here’s an idea: Bethenny is a selfish cow who took advantage of Julie and treated her like crap for so long that Julie bailed and now Bethenny is punishing her. I got it!
They go to a cooking class and Bethenny, the chef, is overwhelmed. Really? I’m skipping over this part. Cut to Jason and Bethenny having drinks with the paid friends, and Jason tells Bethenny, in front of everyone, that they have a problem with the apartment. Bethenny reacts by calling him an f’ing liar in front of everyone. What is this man thinking? Bethenny is revolting, Jason is pathetic, these young girls working for her are sad, and this show is embarrassing. I am happily watching though because my drink is perfect.
Since they have so much luck on boats, and Jason gets sea sick, they decide to take a boat ride. Maggie the newest and youngest paid friend has a small breakdown and bails on the boat ride. Julie tells Jason she is tired and could not take the job anymore. Not buying it. Bethenny let her down and that is why she is bailing. If they think we are going to believe that she is leaving because she is tired then they are insane. One cannot watch this show and not wonder about the mental wellness of Andy Cohen, because he has lost his mind.
Jason and Bethenny are having dinner alone and the fighting starts almost immediately. It’s boring and I can’t take it. They cannot stand to be together so why are they? She cares more about her business than her husband, and he is more of a sperm donor than a husband, so it’s just a mess. This is not good television. Bethenny is self-destructing and while I thought it would be fun to watch, in the end, not so much. It’s exhausting, and as a viewer I feel manipulated and disrespected. Shame on me for watching.
Bethenny is fake crying which is hilarious. She sniffs, has no tears, and wants us to think she is sad? Okay. He blames her, she blames him, and it’s a vicious cycle. She is complaining about how poor she was which is ridiculous. Jason storms off, then returns. By returns of course I mean it was edited to look like he came back, but I think he simply bailed. This show is out of control and while I like to think I’m done, I will be back next week because I am the only one who is willing to discuss Bethenny and keep it real.
May 1, 2012 | 5:47 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I don’t know what is harder to believe, that the first season of Shahs of Sunset is over, or that someone at Bravo actually thought that 6 weeks of this show would be enough. Really Bravo? We are hooked, and now we are also pissed. These people make for good television and 6 weeks is lame. We were just starting to figure this group out and they are done. Not cool.
It’s been a couple of weeks since the show ended, and I figured I would finally get around to blogging the finale. The good news is that it has been announced that season two is coming. I really hope Seacrest Productions will not set up as many scenes, and just let these people loose. They are fascinating and interesting without all the fake stuff thrown in.
The finale starts with Mike and GG hanging out and it’s awkward. GG clearly sees their relationship differently and you can’t help but wonder why. She thinks there is underlying love between them, but she is just the little sister of someone he once dated. She is flirting with him and he is telling her there is never going to be anything between them. It’s odd.
She is in love with him, but he is not in love with her. If he dated my sister it would be enough for me to not date him, but she seems either determined or delusional. Does she really like him or is she so competitive with her sister she wants him just to say she got him? I like Mike and think he handles GG well. I like GG, but she needs to move on and let go.
MJ goes to visit Reza and they talk about his trip to New York and the fact that he has reconciled his relationship with his dad. In his quest for peace with his dad, he wants to have peace between MJ and her mom. It’s quite mean. Reza tells MJ that her mother does no love her and it’s too much. I thought it was harsh, mean spirited, and simply not nice.
MJ says that her mom loves her, she is just mean to her, and it’s heartbreaking. MJ’s mother Vida is hardened by her life and sadly does not see that she is dumping her crap on her only child. Divorce can screw people up in the most loving of families, but with a mother like Vida it is made even harder. I believe she loves her in her own crazy way.
MJ is getting ready for a double date with Sammy. She is setting him up with a nice Jewish girl, and he is bringing a nice Persian guy for her. She has not been on a date in a while so she is excited. She gets dolled up and is going with an open mind. We meet the girl she picked for him and she is very pretty and seems sweet. MJ’s date? Not so much.
Sammy brings a guy that MJ actually dated before. They had a relationship years ago and Sammy thought it was worth them trying again. Really Sammy? MJ looks like she wants to kill herself, Sammy could care less about her discomfort, and his date is clearly not into him. They go into the bar and MJ wants to sit as far away from her date as possible.
He is creepy looking, lusting over MJ, and she is checked out. The girl for Sammy is looking at him and clearly wondering what the hell she is doing there. He then tells her she needs to be a little more toned. This is a very pretty girl with a nice body, and Sammy is telling her she needs to get toned? Sammy? Toned? This scene makes him look like a putz, which he is not.
Over with MJ, her date has his hands all over her and not only is she is not into it, but while she is being mauled, Sammy does not seem to care. Sammy’s date Hannah is getting annoyed that Sammy is not helping MJ and before they know it MJ bails. Not sure I would have left my girlfriend there with them, but she bails and Sammy thinks she is simply in the bathroom.
I love me some Sammy but this was just lame. He should never have set her up with such a loser, especially a loser she has dated before. He is oblivious to what he’s done which makes him a douchebag. Cut to Reza and MJ going for a walk with the dogs and she tells him all about the date. Important to note: Reza is perfect reality television. A star is born.
He is sympathizing with MJ and goes back and forth between English and Farsi, which I love. Mike calls to say he has closed a deal and wants everyone to get together to celebrate. Cute Reza makes sure it’s cool with MJ as Sammy will be there. How can you not love Reza? By love him of course I mean gay or not, I would date Reza. He is fabulous.
GG is out on a date with a very handsome Persian doctor and she is very nervous which is cute, but she is socially awkward, which is hilarious. He arrives before her and orders a drink, which she is clearly annoyed with. I agree. Don’t order until I get there. It’s called manners. GG is trying to eat soup with noodles and I feel bad for how ridiculous she looks.
GG gives up on the soup and tells the nice handsome doctor that she likes crazy people like Dahmer and Manson. She then tells him her baby factory is open. It is a horrible date and you have to wonder if all her dates are like this. She is beautiful, but in need of some dating lessons. I love this girl and even though she is a little rough around the edges, she is a doll.
Asa is with the Persian Barbara Walters and she is asking her for guidance in a completely passive aggressive way. It’s scripted and fake and a total drag because had this been an organic conversation, it would have been fascinating. Instead it’s a fake conversation on the beach and I’m over it. Asa is talented, but she is whoring her work out and it’s not cute.
Sammy goes to meet MJ for a chat so there is no tension at Mike’s celebratory dinner and he approaches her starting a fight. It is a he said/she said thing and frankly, I don’t care. Both behaved badly but Sammy brought her ex so at the end of the day he is to blame. His humiliating her on television is a low blow and he looks like a schmuck. Again.
I love Sammy but he is wrong here. He never should have said he struggled to get her a date. Not good Sammy. He then walks out on her and so payback is complete. Move on kids. MJ is with Asa and it’s fake. It pisses me off because it’s just not needed here. There are plenty of reality shows that need help, but these people are good being authentic.
MJ is out for lunch with her mom and it’s brutal. I like Vida. By like of course I mean I feel sorry for her that she has allowed her own sadness and bitterness to dictate how she parents her daughter. It’s sad. MJ asks her if she is proud of her and her mom can’t say it. It’s very upsetting to watch and I feel horrible for MJ that this is their relationship.
That said, I think her having this conversation on camera is not nice. She is humiliating her mother and that’s not cool. Vida is mean and that is never going to change so the only reason to do it on the show is to embarrass her. For her mom to say MJ is not marriage material is a stab to the heart and my advice to MJ would be to get distance.
Asa has a party to show her art and play her song and it’s lovely. Her parents are adorable, the house is fabulous, Reza is delicious, her art is interesting, and her music is quite good. I wish her well and am glad this show was able to springboard her career. However, don’t say you don’t want to sell out, then do a reality show and exploit yourself.
We see Reza having a conversation with his dad and yes, I cried. I love Reza and think he is a role model for men, gay or straight. The dinner is a way to wrap up the season and it’s really nice. We see that at the core of these people is friendship. They love each other and that allows us to easily love them also. We end the season wanting more, which is a home run.
Mike, GG, Reza, MJ, Sammy, Asa are real people which makes this reality show entertaining. I will watch them when they come back for season two and look forward to seeing how things will change, or perhaps stay the same. This show was a huge hit and I get it. We watch not to see a train wreck, but rather because we crave a reality show that keeps it real.
April 30, 2012 | 10:46 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I like this show even though the women featured are fake on many levels. They live lives that they want us to think are fabulous, but what they show us is not necessarily true. They are decent and hardworking people, who also happen to be dysfunctional and living in denial about how much money they have, and how they got it. The chicks of New Jersey are fascinating.
The leader of the pack for me is Teresa. I like her, but I didn’t always. I watch these shows and write about what I see each week, and over the years I have not liked Teresa at certain times. That said, I really like her now. She is great television and when I interviewed her it was over for me. I freaking love this chick and she is the star of the show in my opinion.
Not only is she my favorite, she is also the break out star. Actually, Milania is the star of the show, but since she is not a housewife I cannot really give her the #1 spot. Teresa is funny, simple, compelling, and sweet. Everyone on this show hates her. The jealousy they all feel for her palpable and the focus of the editing which is a shame and bad decision from Bravo.
I will watch, and blog, for now. Honestly though, I have stopped watching and blogging about Atlanta and Orange County because they are simply bad television. If Bravo sticks with the everyone be mean and hate on Teresa plot, I will be out of this one too. Sidebar: Andy lets people crap all over Teresa on WWHL and it is embarrassing. Grow some balls Andy.
We start the show with Jacqueline sending Ashlee off to Vegas. First of all, I do not get why Jac is on this show. She is boring and brings nothing to the table. She is also more focused on her new family than she is on helping her daughter. She is not doing a good job in my opinion and her crying about how hard it is for her is sickening already. She is beyond boring.
We skip over to Lauren who tells us she left Chateau after her opening and you have to wonder what the hell she’s been doing this whole time besides eating. She is at a nutritionist with her mom and is going to try to lose weight. She is a beautiful girl and if she loses weight or not, this is a sweet girl. She is clearing looking for a diet endorsement deal, which is lame.
Teresa is with Juicy and they are talking about the pizza parlor closing. I feel bad for Teresa. Her husband is out of control. I believe he is cheating, embarrassing his children and humiliating his wife. Teresa loves him and he does not seem to get it or care. I hope they work it out but I’m not sure they can. I wish for Teresa all the things that she wishes for herself.
Rich is out with his son Joe teaching him about life and it’s lame. I like this family but lately Rich has been a little mean and two faced so he is not that interesting anymore. Kathy is a follower not a leader and she borders on pathetic. They don’t have anything to show about Kathy and Rich so they bring in their kids, but they are not that interesting either. Too bad.
Albie is driving Ashlee to the airport and as much as I love my readers and want to provide them with a thorough recap, I cannot listen to this. Ashlee is ridiculous. Albie is ridiculous. I cannot do it. She is wishing she could be drunk, and talking about things that prove we are not dealing with a scientist here. She is a mess and the blame can be placed on her mom.
Joe and Melissa are up next trying to show us they are successful and rich. Melissa is complaining about Teresa and I don’t get the point of it. Do they want us to think they are rich? Is showing his booming business right after they show us Joe’s failing business supposed to make them look fabulous? The editing here is shameful and Melissa is shady. Not cool.
Ashlee misses her plane and Jac is gross about it. She really does not seem to care about this child and makes no attempt to hide it. She did not hug or kiss her good bye, and is annoyed she is coming back to the house. Jac is humiliating her kid and I think that is wrong. I am skipping over the Ashlee is a moron segment and will return when I can stomach this crap.
Everyone is now at Jac’s house, with Teresa on the way. Melissa and Joe are trashing Teresa and Caroline and Kathy jump on the bandwagon. Teresa arrives looking gorgeous, while Caroline looks like crap. She apologizes again for her any hurt feeling her book caused and it’s stupid. It was not an apology, which is fine because she does not owe anyone anything.
This is a group of people who are jealous. They cannot stand that Teresa is the only one to turn the show into a moneymaker. Black Water? On Display? Kathy’s Bakery? No success here at all. Melissa makes a dig at Teresa and it’s dumb. Bravo is systematically ruining every city in this franchise, making it impossible to watch. I will be sad to give up New Jersey.
The men go to play poker while the women stay in the kitchen. Cut to the next day and Juicy has a black eye. Turns out Juicy and Rich got into a little wrestling match and end up getting into a fight. We learn that Rich does not have balls and Juicy likes to grab balls. With each passing moment I feel more sorry for Teresa. She is rich in success and poor in support.
We are back with Kathy and her family and I want to go to bed. These kids and this family are not interesting so why bore us in this way? I have no idea what is happening in this scene because I am checked out. Some kid is sending naked pics to Kathy’s son and she is mortified, but he is thrilled. Does anyone in the world think this scene was interesting? Not me.
Melissa is recording her new song and I want to impale myself. Dear Lord, why are we spending so much time watching her get auto-tuned? Just when I think I might choke on my own vomit, it’s Milania time. I LOVE THIS LITTLE GIRL. Every one of Teresa’s kids is divine and these girls need their own show. They are all fabulous but Milania is simply perfection.
Joe is home with the girls alone and it’s sad. He is not focused on the kids and Gia is acting like the caretaker, which makes me cringe because she is just a little girl. Juicy has the boys over for cards and it’s lame. We know what happened here and it’s been months, so why bore us now? Surely they had better footage than this. Juicy is a douche, but so are the other men.
Teresa is at a book signing and some chick goes off about Juicy and his court case and it’s painfully scripted. Meanwhile Melissa and Joe Gorga are having dinner and she has a surprise for him. He guesses she is pregnant, but the surprise is her presentation of her new ballad. She is dedicating it to him and call me nuts, but I love Joe and how he loves Melissa.
The song is not that great and I wonder if she actually wrote it. She said it was about her thoughts about Joe, but if she didn’t write it then whose thoughts are they? I think she probably has a nice voice but they are making her into a pop star which she is just too old to be. She should have focused on being a singer not on reliving her childhood dreams.
Chris Manzo is talking and I’m not listening. Why in the world do we care about any of the Manzo kids? Enough. Joe loves the song from Melissa and rewards her with some poison. Jac pulls out baby pictures and pretends to be sad about Ashlee, and I could care less about any of it. This show is about hating Teresa because everyone else on the show is boring.
This week WWHL was a continuation of the Teresa bashing. Kelly Osbourne went on and on about how horrible Teresa is and Andy said nothing. Jac humiliates her daughter relentlessly, and then says she is great now. This show is a hot mess of crap and next week looks like a train wreck but rather than the good reality TV kind, it is the kind that is unable to keep it real.
April 27, 2012 | 9:27 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I’m sorry this took so long to get posted! I watched the show last week and just did not have the energy to blog it because, quite frankly I find Aubrey and Lisa to be exhausting. By exhausting of course I mean in the want to punch something way, not the great sex kind of way. These chicks suck.
We start off with Lisa giving her winnings to her charity. I love the charity part of this show but her hair ribbon is just too much for me and I’m skipping over it. Happy they got the money, hope they get more, but I can barely listen to her without the lame ribbon so it’s not happening.
The task is assigned in Trump’s apartment. I love this guy. He says he rarely shows it to anyone. Really? We’ve all seen the apartment a dozen times. It’s tacky and fabulous, but we’ve seen it. The task is to launch Trump’s new fragrance for men, Success. They are working with Macys.
Clay and Aubrey are going to be the project managers and the winner, if Trump loves the campaign, will get$100K. If it sucks, they are only getting $20K. It’s Clay, Penn, Lisa and Dayana against Aubrey, Teresa and Arsenio. Clay is knocking Penn right off the bat.
Dayana offers to model for the campaign and Lisa is using every ounce of her being to not lose it. Her jealousy is palpable. Aubrey looks like a man. An odd little man. She starts bossing everyone and I am on my way to another headache. I have wine so I shall trudge ahead.
The executives from Macys and the Trump organization visit the teams and Clay is respectful and charming, Aubrey is a bulldozer who does not care about what the executive are saying, and is so in love with her own voice she just keeps talking, but is not making any sense. She is a loser.
Penn did not want to be the project manager, yet he has all the ideas. It makes no sense that he did not want to lead. With the game half over and the charity money up for grabs, it was lame that he did not take the job. It is a predictable clue that he will be the one sent home this week.
Clay is annoyed with Penn, Penn is cocky, Lisa is bitchy and Dayana is gorgeous. Chicks don’t do it for me, but Dear Lord she is spectacular looking. Over with Aubrey, she is doing her own thing, not listening to anyone, and being bossy. Who the hell is this girl? I want her gone.
While taking pictures of the New York City skyline, we learn Aubrey wears Spanx, and that even though Arsenio thinks she is a skanky whore, he would still sleep with her. Men are pigs. I would give anything for this show to cut out all the recapping and go down to an hour. Anything!
Aubrey is on the phone with Eric Trump and calls him “babe”, which was gross. She is bulldozing through the task and I am clicking the mute button on occasion which make her much more tolerable. She sends off Arsenio and Teresa so she can be alone and not deal with them.
Clay is unable to make a decision and keeps changing his mind, which is probably because he is unable to focus with all the hair color seeping into his scalp. The best part of this show is the commercials for America’s got Talent with Howard Stern. I love Howard and can’t wait for that.
Dayana is modeling with a gorgeous man and Clay is salivating over him. She then says she hopes Lisa is not trying to break her peanuts, which made me spit out really good wine. She meant bust her balls, but this was more charming. I wonder if Clay got a date with the model.
Eric Trump stops by to check on the team and the only one there is Aubrey. She throws her team under the bus while flirting. I think it was flirting. She sucks at it, he is not buying into her charms, and even calls her on how unsupportive she is of her team. Aubrey is a pig.
Dayana comes up with the idea that they should have a take away for the display and Clay says there is no time, which means that their not having a take away will be one of things that reflects badly on them. Arsenio comes up with a great idea and Aubrey is pissed off that it was not hers.
Aubrey is doing everything, which makes Arsenio sit back and think out how he will throw her under the bus in the boardroom. Teresa, in her heals and super tight skirt, is painting and running and getting it done. She is a rock star on this show and I’d like to see her in the finals.
Lisa goes next door to sneak a look at the display of the other team and it’s just lame. This show is dragged out so much with useless things that I find myself getting more resentful every week that it is two hours long. Thankfully I have mastered the art of making a mojito, so whatever.
Aubrey wears the make up of a hooker/show girl in Vegas. She then calls herself a mini Trump. Really? I am watching them view their completed displays for the first time and I’m done. I am fast forwarding over this part. I could be missing something great, but probably not.
Important to note I am at the 1 hour mark and am bored with blogging it. This proves my point that it should only be an hour long. Aubrey is presenting their project and it makes me want to hurl. Her voice makes my lower back hurt and my left arm is tingly.
Teresa is adorable during the presentation. Love her. Aubrey calls the smell strip a keepsake and now I’m laughing. She is a moron. They finish and Arsenio says on the count of three to say Unanimous. Turns out nobody on this team can count which once again make me spit up wine.
Clay does their presentation and tanks. He is not articulate, cool, or interesting. He asks his team to help him out and nobody says a thing. They are all so calculated. They are quiet so if the presentation is why they lose they are not responsible. So freaking predictable.
I am now being asked to sit through a 45 minute boardroom. Not happening. They are looking at each others work and I’m now officially bored. Aubrey is flirting with the Trumps but she looks dirty so nobody is taking it seriously. She is unfortunate looking.
Arsenio says he came up with the quote for their presentation and Aubrey says it was her. Blah. Blah. Blah. Aubrey came up with it, and it happened to also be a quote from Trump. Arsenio did nothing on this task and he is grasping at straws to stay alive.
Trump announces neither of the displays was worth $100K so instead he gives $40K to the winner, which is Aubrey. He then gives all the other players $10K for their charities. Aubrey screams in delight and we get an insight into her bedroom life, which is shrill and not sexy.
Clay is defending himself, Lisa and Dayana are quiet, and as we suspected early on, Penn is going home. The boardroom is boring without Aubrey and Arsenio fighting. I like Penn and thought he was smart, but he was an outsider from the beginning so no big surprises here.
I wonder if Trump smells like money. I find him oddly attractive and am curious how he is in bed. Does anyone else think about that? Trump thinks it may be time to fire Dayana and it looks like next week he might. I’m watching, but it’s getting hard. Trump is fun, but not keeping it real.
April 26, 2012 | 9:21 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I have not written about Bethenny for a few weeks. It’s hard to watch her let alone write about her. I have not recapped the last couple of weeks of Bethenny Ever After because it’s a broken record. She recycles the same jokes, the same stories, and the same drama. The other issue is that when I watch it I find myself on the verge of projectile vomiting and that is just not cute. Bethenny has become really bad for Bethenny.
I was quite content to not blog about her for a while, until Ireland stepped in. I have many readers in Ireland and talk about luck of the Irish, they don’t get Bethenny’s current season and are relying on my recaps to keep them in the loop. So cute that they reached out to ask me to blog, and so sad they are craving info on the train wreck that is Bethenny Frankel. I often wish we did not have her show here. Ah, the luck of the Irish.
I am going to blog about Bethenny today for Ireland. This one is for you! I am going to make it quick to avoid any heaving, but you will get the idea. I will recap the last episode of Bethenny Ever After so you can join in the nightmare. Important to note she has the roughest life in the world and we must all take pity on her and her very difficult life. Also worth mentioning, Bethenny is a pathological liar who likes to wallow in her own crap.
It’s Bethenny’s birthday and she has gone to Mexico with Jason and her entire staff. By staff of course I mean her “friends”. I find it interesting that all of her friends are on payroll. Jason is explaining how exhausting his life has become because all they do is fight. We know you fight Jason. We have been watching her rip your balls off for years. Maybe you are tired because selling your soul to the devil for money is a lot of work.
Bethenny and Jason are at dinner and she immediately sets into attack mode. She is complaining he does not trust her. She also says that it’s ironic the trust has nothing to do with infidelity. Why is that ironic? Is it because she has cheated in the past and so one would think she was not cheating again? It was an odd thing to say and I’m curious what she meant by it. Then Bethenny reminds us of exactly why she is so repulsive.
Bethenny has decided that should something happen to her and Jason they will place Bryn in the care of their employee RaRa. Jason has two loving and caring parents, but they would leave her with someone they have known for a year? Those grandparents love her more than anyone and yet they are out? RaRa is good because she buys her presents? Really? Bethenny is lame. Why not give her to Julie, who is in fact Bryn’s Godmother?
Watching Jason and Bethenny bicker constantly is not entertaining. That she is willing to take her show to this level is interesting. It’s a series of fighting, miscommunication, self-pity, and blatant meanness. They are horrible to each other. Jason is mean to her too, but he clearly tries to keep it private whereas Bethenny wants everything on camera. Bethenny went from being spontaneous and fun to simply horrid and shrill.
Bethenny is walking around in a bikini and like her or not, her body is banging. She looks great from the neck down. The staff/friends arrive and Bethenny is clearly relieved to not have to spend time alone with Jason. They are all on the beach, with Bryn, and a little boy comes over to visit. Bethenny takes the opportunity to make sexual innuendoes in front of the kids. Seriously, this chick is just not funny or appealing.
Bethenny and Jason fight again, and she takes off to have lunch with RaRa and Jason stays with the baby. Bethenny lets us know they are still fighting about money, his family, and the same crap we have been listening to for years. It is just gross. Bethenny says she tells Jason she does not respect him and he is equally mean to her. It’s bad of both of them but I’d be willing to bet on who throws the first punch. Bethenny likes the drama.
Bethenny is at lunch with RaRa and I must say I like RaRa. She is calm and lovely. Bethenny drinks a lot which is interesting. Bethenny calls Jason in the room and asks him to join her for lunch, is then surprised when he hangs up on her. She is so bitter and depressing I would have hung up on her too. She is mean to Jason and spends a lot of time humiliating her husband for the world to see. By the world of course I mean not Ireland. Lucky.
Bethenny is once again talking about how she is damaged and I want to cut myself. These two need to break up. There is no trust, no love, no respect, no joy, no fun, no peace. Why stay? They don’t appear to even like each other. They are talking in circles around each other. Each think the other is meaner and the other is in more pain. There is no reason to be airing this dirty laundry on television and to leave this as a legacy for Bryn is gross.
Sidebar: I think the best thing Bethenny can do for herself is get in touch with Jill Zarin. Bethenny was her best self when she was with Jill and I think she needs her back in her life. Their break up was silly and a true waste. Bethenny needs Jill, now and they should reach out to each other. I really think Jill could be good for her right now. Jill was authentic and Bethenny needs a real friend right now, not one that she pays for.
Jason and Bethenny have this awful morning and lunch, then go to a couples massage. It was stupid. If they think we think there is any sexual chemistry between them they are insane. It’s a lame scene and served no purpose on the show except to disgust us and make us all feel dirty. I need another cocktail to get through it. A real cocktail, not a Skinnygirl crap juice. This show is stupid and shows signs of being bipolar. I’m so done.
Bethenny and Jason have been going at it for the entire vacation, now all of a sudden they are touchy feely and in love. Ridiculous. Bethenny is talking about her mother as they share a birthday, and it’s so stupid. Call your mother and get over it. Karma is a bitch and as the mother of a daughter she should be trying to mend her relationship instead of bitching about it all the time. Your life is hard. We get it. Snap out of it already.
Jason gives Bethenny a necklace for her birthday and she cannot hide the fact that she does not like it. Her fake response is actually quite funny. She does not like the length and keeps trying to shorten it. Miraculously, if you jump ahead a few minutes, she is wearing the necklace but it has been shortened. This show is lame and if it were not for the magnificent country of Ireland, I would be using my time much more wisely.
It’s Bethenny’s birthday dinner and she is with her paid friends, Jason and Bryn. They give her a book of pictures of her journey and I want to hurl. She is fake crying, sniffing, and it is calculated and fake. She can try to make us feel sorry for her all she wants, but it’s not happening. There is something just not real about her reactions to anything. It is all scripted and she‘s not a good enough actress to make me buy it.
Julie writes about how much she has enjoyed their time together and you have got to wonder about Julie’s leaving. She is the Godmother yet not in line to get Bryn incase of a tragedy. She is the godmother, yet not invited to friends weekend in the Hamptons, but rather left at the office with the other paid friends. I think Julie got sick of being used and decided to get a life instead of getting buried under Bethenny’s fake life.
Next week actually looks like it will be good. By good I mean I may need to blog about it because it will be layers and layers of crap, and that is blogging gold. This show is sad and no amount of money or fame is worth doing this to a family. I feel bad for everyone on this show, including Bethenny. She got what she wanted and in the end will have nothing that really matters. She is famous, rich, alone, lonely and unable to keep it real.