Posted by Ilana Angel
I watched this week’s show and I sat in complete disbelief. I have never missed an episode and feel confident saying it has changed so much from the beginning that it is simply unworthy of my time. Real Housewives of New Jersey is a scripted soap opera and I blog about reality television, so this show is no longer something I recap under my criteria.
What is so disturbing is we all loved this show in the beginning when it was real. That Bravo thought it needed to be changed in such a obvious way is just sad, and frankly stupid. They have ruined what was once wonderful. I am not going to blog this week because there was nothing interesting or even remotely realistic about anything they gave us.
Melissa invited to sing in front of 150,000 people based on her live radio performance? Dear Lord. I might blog this week in a couple of days when I’m not as offended by the crapfest. Translation: Maybe I will write about it when I get another bottle of tequila because I only have enough for one shot and that ain’t gonna cut it. This show is garbage.
I will blog the finale because that is my job. I will blog the reunion because that should be interesting, but I am sick and tired of Bravo giving us crap. Especially after we have all made them rich. This show went to hell in a hand basket when they hired Melissa Gorga and the only shot in hell they have of saving it, is to fire her. I’m just keeping it real.
12.7.13 at 8:49 am | What the hell is Bravo giving us?
12.7.13 at 7:29 am | I'm not going to lie, these women and the men. . .
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (4386)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (4332)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (3660)
September 22, 2013 | 8:18 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
This morning LeAnn Rimes had another meltdown on Twitter and it begs the question, does anyone love her? She has fans of course, and they are loyal and devoted. She has a family, and one assumes they love her, but does anyone really love her? Today, as Twitter blew up with her madness, I watched in amazement and felt genuine sadness for this woman.
LeAnn Rimes is suffering, in my opinion, a breakdown on the same level of Britney Spears and Amanda Bynes. She is a mess, in my opinion, on the same level as Anna Nicole Smith. She is calling out for help and sadly nobody seems to be paying attention to her. I think it is tragic and I cannot imagine what it must be like to be in her shoes. Scary and confusing to be sure.
LeAnn is constantly scrutinized and judged, mocked and tormented. She puts on a brave face and says it does not bother her, but it does. How do I know? Because she is a human being, a woman, insecure, confused and hurt, as anyone in her place would be. She is a real person with real feelings. Here’s the thing though, why does nobody love her enough to help?
I have never written anything about her that was made up or not true. I comment on the actions she shares with the world. I am not a gossip writer hiding in the bushes to get dirt on her, I simply write about what she does and says for all of us to see, and from that perspective I can say LeAnn Rimes is a ticking time bomb and someone needs to help her.
She has made herself unlikeable on an epic level. She continues to act crazy in ways that make the only conclusion we can come to is she is crazy. She has dug a hole for herself, but she is not a lost cause and with some love and guidance she can turn it around. The first thing this woman needs to do is get off Twitter. Not only quit, but close her account. Seriously.
We don’t need to know every 5 minutes how happy she is, how much she loves her husband, or how much she loves his kids. It is sad she feels the need to talk about how happy she is all the time. She is not as happy as she wants us to believe. All you have to do is read the hate directed to her and you know her happiness is clouded by it all. Hate is powerful.
In an effort to help this young and delusional woman, I will give her a list of the top 5 things she needs to do in order move ahead and change the tone. I don’t love LeAnn, but I will do for her what those who love her are unable to do, tell the truth. She will read this, as she reads everything I write, so we’ll see if she can set aside her ego and pay attention.
1) Stop referring to your step kids as “your boys”. They are not yours. You can love them as much as you would if they were yours, and as a mother I can assure you we all want the step mothers of our kids to love them in a deep and profound way. That said, you can love them to pieces but know your place and acknowledge they are not yours.
2) If you want us to appreciate you for you, stop trying to be someone else. Your constant need to be just like your husband’s ex-wife is odd and frankly disturbing. Be you. You are never going to live up the expectations you have created in your mind and if your husband wants you to be someone else, let him find someone else.
3) Drop the lawsuit against Lexi and Kim Smiley. It is mean spirited and you are hurting a family in ways that will be hard for them to overcome. She taped you, we get it. You seem to forget that you called her, and if you listen the call you must understand she was simply protecting herself from your irrational and vicious attack.
4) Get a new publicist. Your current team is doing you no favors and the truth is you are paying someone to hurt you. It does not matter how many interviews you do, or how many pictures are taken of you. What matters is what you say in those interviews and what you are doing in the pictures. This man is hurting you, not helping you.
5) Give a real interview with someone who is going to ask you real questions and inspire you to give real answers. We are not interested in Spitfire, or how happy your marriage is, or what a great “Mom” you are. We want to know who you are, how you feel, and if there is remorse and regret. We need truth before we can move on.
I am sure many people love LeAnn Rimes. I am also certain she does not know who those people are. If you are paying someone for a service, it does not guarantee loyalty or love. It is people who are not paid that are more likely to tell you the truth. Only you can change the tide Ms. Rimes and all it requires is for you to keep it real
September 17, 2013 | 9:30 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I really like this show and will watch even if I don’t care about the contestants. This season however, the cast is perfect. I know who they all are, am interested in many of them, and am blown away from the level of dancing right out of the gate. I don’t really get the need to move the judges to the other side of the stage. I don’t think moving the couples to the stage was needed. I believe Tom Bergeron is fantastic as the host, and I think Brooke Burke is not needed and not interesting. Shame when shows think they need to change things, but still, this show is great TV.
I may not blog about it each week because what there is not a lot to say, but I will be watching and tweeting and voting. Here is a breakdown of the cast, my two cents on their opening performance, who I pick to win, and who I think should go home first. Important to note that my 17 year old son does not watch this show, and mocks me when I cry while watching a dancing show, but he was glued to the TV for Bill Nye the Science Guy. Not only did he watch Bill, but he talked about it on social media and all of his friends were watching it too. It will be interesting to see how that plays out.
BRANT DAUGHERTY: I don’t watch his show, but this kid is adorable. When he shared the story of telling his mom he was on the show and she freaked out in Wal-Mart, I fell in love with him a little bit. He started off good, will only get better, but is not popular enough to make it to the end.
LEAH REMINI: Love her. She is funny and cute and there is something about her that I think is charming and relatable. She is quirky and entertaining and actually a good dancer. She will get better, people like her, she will have fancy friends in the audience and wills tick around.
CORBIN BLEU: He is a great guy and I understand his wanting to reboot his career, but he became famous through dance movies that were heavily choreographed, and learning the choreography is part of the challenge, so he has an unfair advantage. He'll be here for a while.
JACK OSBOURNE: What is not to love about this man? I think he is brave and adorable. I love his parents, and I want him to do well here. I was super surprised by his first time out. He is really very good. I cried when Sharon and Ozzy started to cry and I really hope Jack sticks around.
AMBER RILEY: This is a beautiful girl and I think her personality is cute. She is not a trained dancer but the girl can move. She was given 27 out of 30 on her first dance and I just don’t get it. She hardly did anything, so already the judging is not being fair. She’ll be in the finals.
ELIZABETH BERKLEY LAUREN: She looks great having just had a baby, but there is something about her personality that rubs me the wrong way. I don’t get her, am not invested in her, and think she can be the first to go even though she is a good dancer. She won’t stay long.
BILL NYE: I love this guy. When he says there is sexual tension with his partner I was laughing out loud. He is fantastic and while not a great first time out, he is super popular and he is going to stick around. He will get better but it does not matter because he is entertaining regardless.
KEYSHAWN JOHNSON: I thought he was cute, but also rude. He is a little full of himself and while athletes tend to do well here more often than not, I don’t care about him and he can go at any time as far as I’m concerned. He needs to be nicer to his partner and check his ego a little bit.
CHRISTINA MILIAN: She is pretty and I know her more from The Vice than her career, but she is sweet, a good dancer, and once the judges from the Voice stop by she will get better numbers. Not sure she can do it on her own. She gushing over JLo was the highlight of her performance.
BILL ENGVALL: He is funny. If this show were about being funny he could win, but it isn’t, so he will go quickly. Not sure he is popular enough, or good enough, to make it through to the halfway point. That said, he is a regular guy and we like when regular guys do good.
VALERIE HARPER: I cried from the moment she started talking to the moment she took her bow. I love her, think she is fantastic, an icon, and a hero. I want her to be there for as long as she is able. I know it’s about dancing, but it is also a popularity contest, and she is the best to me.
NICOLE SNOOKI POLOZZO: I love this girl. She is funny and cute and her personality has matured, but maintained the humor. She is a great dancer and I found her to be insanely likable here. I pick her to be in the finale and I am rooting for her. Waiting for a fist pump Snooks!
It was a great opening show and I for one am grateful they are only doing one night a week. I loved the dancing, loved that my kid watched part of it with me, loved that there is someone for everyone, and loved that in a sea of reality television crap, there is something truly worth watching. Even with some ridiculous scores from the judges, they are keeping it real.
September 16, 2013 | 7:55 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am fascinated by LeAnn Rimes and how she continues to lie. It truly is on an epic scale and one has to wonder how she manages to keep everything straight when she tells so many stories. Her fans love her, which is great, but they are also unwilling to see she is not particularly kind to them. Her recent tour in Europe has been a series of lies that hurt her fans, and she is unapologetic and quite rude, but they still love her. Bless them.
The video below was posted the night before she cancelled a show due to her being deathly ill. She does not appear to be sick to me. She is ruining this beautiful song, but that is not the point. She canceled a show 3 hours before it was to begin. When a fan tweeted disappointment having travelled hours to get there, only to discover it was cancelled, LeAnn tweeted back that she schlepped from LA. Not a very nice response if you ask me.
She is back to performing with a concert tonight in Manchester, England. She is still tweeting about how sick she is, but putting on a show, even if the show is weird. She likes to throw her hair up in a bun, take her shoes off, and sit on the floor with her lyrics taped in front of her. It is bizarre behavior and while one could say there is something charming about it, unless charming involves some kind of medication, I’m not buying charming.
LeAnn Rimes should have called this the Pinocchio tour. The once popular singer is performing to small crowds who are more interested in her old work rather than the epic failure that is Spitfire. If you are not following her on Twitter, you must because it is hilarious. She loves her Twitter and uses it mostly to tell us how insanely happy she is and how much her husband loves her and she loves him. If you need to say it all the time, you are convincing yourself more than you are convincing us.
There is really no need to ever buy a ticket to her shows because they appear on YouTube the next day. She never sounds quite as good as she used to, and without an airbrush on YouTube, she never looks as good as she does when prepped for hours, but there is something truly entertaining about watching her. She is a child star gone wrong, but clinging onto her fame for dear life. Bless her. No matter what you think about this woman, you cannot say she is not interesting and compelling to watch.
She is inappropriate, has no boundaries, and is desperate to convince the world of her happiness. The truth is, as far as I can tell, any hope she had of rekindling her career ended when she cheated on her husband, married someone else’s husband, and publicly pretends she is the mother of his children, in front of the mother of his children. She is more of a joke than a star, and while her celebrity continues, we watch waiting for her to fall, not shine. God Bless her for being her. I’m just here to keep it real.
September 15, 2013 | 6:07 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
In an attempt to help smooth over the fact that Melissa is a cheater, and therefore rendering her book on a happy marriage even more useless, the search for a scapegoat continues. Bravo ahs been manipulating the situation to rip apart Teresa forever, but since we are getting sick of it already, they are expanding the hoax and putting Penny Drossos up on the block. Ugh.
Before we get to the bad editing, we start off with Teresa and Juicy out shopping with their moms. Teresa is starting her own food line called Skinny Italian. I bet that is pissing Bethenny off. Especially since you can’t make bad tasting pasta and Skinnygirl taste like ass. Teresa’s mom wants them all together so she can see the healing herself.
Over with Joe, he has gone for a scripted visit to Chris, and takes his boys with him. Cute kids. The men are drinking wine in the middle of the day like chicks, which I think is funny. Jac joins in and Chris tells Joe they are doing an event to raise money for autism. They are also releasing 3-4 new flavors of Blk. water, which has me laughing. They can’t give it away.
Jac is going to speak at the event, which is also hilarious. She is not a good speaker and add in a subject she cannot talk about without a fake cry, and she is useless. Jac says she does not want to be judged for using her son’s autism and I am rolling my eyes and having a drink. Joe is talking about the rumors of Melissa cheating again. Dear Lord. She cheated. Who cares?
We are now with Kathy and Rich and honestly people, I just want to skip over it. This is dumb. I have no interest in these people and can’t imagine anyone does. They talk and all I hear is blah, blah, blah. She is going to give a demo of her cannolis at Dylan’s Candy Bar. She has been doing this for years and a candy shop demo is a big deal? Bless her. Where’s my remote?
Cut to Teresa and her mom out for lunch with Juicy, Joe and Melissa. It’s been 4 years, so good for them. Joe is happy, Melissa is lying, Juicy and Teresa have moved on. Melissa wants to make sure that anyone who knows anything about her truth is off the show. We cannot watch and not think back to how great the show was before Melissa joined. Seriously.
Teresa is over for a visit with Jac and has brought the girls with her. These people are all crazy but they sure do make beautiful babies. They are jumping back and forth from Jac and Teresa to Juicy and Rosie, who are having lunch. I could watch a show of just Juicy and Rosie. They are good TV. Juicy wants another baby, as long as it is a boy.
Juicy says he would be open to a surrogate, and both he and Rosie think they can take an egg from Teresa, and an egg from Juicy and put it in another woman. For the love of God, dumb is funny. Speaking of dumb, Jac needs to give a speech and has turned to Teresa for help in writing it. There are just too many jokes to be made here so I’ll drink instead.
Cut to Melissa who wants us to think that a successful music producer has heard her music and wanted to meet her. This is stupid. Melissa cannot sing. Joe says he will support her 100%, but Melissa says her husband and kids come first. Really? She would sell them all down the river for fame so this entire scene is a waste of time. She is selling books.
Kathy is getting ready for her sad little cannoli party. Cute that she is doing her mom’s hair and did not have someone come do it. Rich does his slapstick, the kids show up, and the feeble attempt to make this funny only makes it sadder. These people are not funny, and are not relevant or interesting, so Bravo needs to let it go and spare us already. We don’t care.
Melissa is going to sing a new song, from a new songwriter, and making fun of her for not knowing the words. Maybe she can tape them on the floor like LeAnn Rimes. She is making a lot of excuses and delaying the inevitable. She cannot sing and they are going to see they flew in for nothing. Johnny Wright is making fun of her and I am laughing my ass off.
Kathy is at Dylan’s Candy Bar and nobody has shown up. Not any strangers, not any of her family and friends. Caroline fake sicks her way out of it, but Chris and Jac finally show so Jac can eat. Melissa shows, Teresa shows, and Rosie shows. Who cares? They all schlepped into the city by Bravo drivers and it is lame. None of them care about it.
Time for the Blk. autism event. Everyone is there and Jac is nervous to speak in front of a large group. She should have tweeted her speech. She has no issues there. She speaks, it is perfect, her kid is delicious, and everyone cries. Good for her. That’s is all I have to say about that. Do I think she milks it? Yes? Do I think the work matters? Yes.
Cut to Melissa and Joe, and her telling him she needs to work on her music more and it will involve her going to Orlando. They are at a nice dinner and surprise, surprise, Penny is at the bar. She gets a hot and freshly served meal and heads to the bar to talk to Penny? This show is ridiculous and Melissa is an idiot. Penny is out of control.
Penny says everything traces back to Teresa, Joe says Penny looks like whore you cannot trust, and the entire thing is stupid. I don’t know who is to blame here, Penny or Teresa, but if I had to pick a side, I’m going with Teresa. That said, next week we will get more Penny and one can only wonder what is really happening. Things are shown out of sequence so will never know.
This show sucks and these chicks will do anything for fame and money. There is nothing authentic about this show anymore. It was better before they all got famous, certainly better before Melissa joined, and this cast has overstayed their welcome. I’m ready to check out because Bravo thinks we are all stupid and insists on not keeping it real.
September 11, 2013 | 5:13 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Twitter is an interesting thing. By interesting of course I mean it is like a heroin addiction in that once you start, you cannot stop and an intervention of some kind is required. I actually love Twitter and have really wonderful “followers” who come on Twitter to not only read my blogs, but interact with me. I try to respond to as many people as I can and we have a lot of fun.
I have spoken to some of my followers on the phone, met some in person, and also stay in touch with a lot of them by email. For every wonderful person I have met through Twitter, there are about 10 others who are crazy. By crazy of course I mean they are mentally unstable and spend a lot of time trolling Twitter to stir the pot with a lot of hate. Many times to me.
What is so interesting is the people who get a thrill out of impersonating me on Twitter. They are always mad about something I have written about reality TV. Fascinating how a genre of TV that specializes in crazy inspires so much crazy. People use my name and my picture to try to hurt me, attack those who follow me, and comment unkindly about my faith.
My Twitter account is @ILANA_ANGEL. There are a lot of imposter accounts and other ones there just to hate me. Today new accounts appeared with the names @JJPennySaver and @JewishJournalin. They are vile and clearly we are dealing with geniuses who have a lot of time on their hands. They will eventually be suspended but that doesn't make it better.
These accounts turned up today using the picture I have posted with this blog. This is actually a lovely picture of me that my son took. They pulled it off my Twitter and added some artistic flair by turning me into Satan, which is comical on some level with my being an Angel and all. It hurts my feelings of course, makes me angry, but mostly I feel bad my son will see it.
One woman in particular who is very angry with me is on Twitter as MaryMac_III. “Mary” is a person who tweeted she has been after me for years and as an attorney, she will sue me if I ever write about her because she is a private citizen. Here’s the thing “Mary”, when you post crap on my Twitter, which is public, you are public. Want to talk about it "Mary"?
Anyone can go onto my Twitter account and see what Mary writes about me. Today alone Mary has tweeted over 200 times either to me or about me.Yesterday it was 359. Not sure what kind of lawyer she is that she has time to obsess this way. Maybe she is a lawyer in the Land of Oz? Perhaps an attorney for the County of Patron? The point is she has declared war.
“Mary” went from feeling rather confident in her attacks on me yesterday, to a little back peddling today. Perhaps she is nervous, scared, or confused. The bottom line is that she is, in my humble opinion, obsessed with me. Rather than simply not read my blogs, she not only reads them, but trolls my Twitter timeline and comments on everything I write. It is creepy.
There is a rather large group of accounts that like to write really horrible things about me. You can check my timeline out and see them all, out in the open, in a public forum just like this. They comment on my every move to their rather small group of followers. They are there, in all their glory, acting like a bunch of fools, talking about me and my followers.
I am not an attorney, but I am not sure one can claim to be a private citizen, and therefore be excluded from my writing about them, if they are going to insist on writing about me in a public forum. I would suggest to “Mary” that if she finds me so upsetting, just stop reading my blog and tweets, and move on because I am just doing my job, and will continue to do so.
I would have quit Twitter long ago if it were not for my amazing followers. They make me laugh, inspire me, kick me in the ass when I need it, trust me with their secrets, appreciate my voice, and understand my Keeping the Faith blog is about me personally, while my Keeping it Real blog is about things that are not real, but just fake TV for our entertainment.
“Mary” will write my editor and demand that this blog be removed, she will send a threatening letter to the Jewish Journal, all their board members and advertisers, insisting I be fired. In the end it is really quite simple. Stop writing about me in a public forum, and it will be done. It’s not brain surgery “Mary”, it is simply time for you grow up and keep it real.
September 9, 2013 | 10:18 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I am not a fan of Bethenny Frankel or the crap she peddles. I think her drinks taste horrible, her lies are epic, she cannot keep her stories straight, married for TV, had a baby for TV, puts gag orders on anyone who speaks badly about her, is unwilling to admit that her path to fame and fortune is riddled with bodies she has used and stepped on, and manufactured her childhood. There are so many things to not believe that I don’t understand how people believe anything from this woman. I don’t trust her.
One could assume my review of her show would be biased because I don’t like her and I can appreciate how people see it, however I am one who will give credit where credit is due. There are things to admire about Bethenny Frankel. Mostly how she manages to shut up everybody and hide bodies, but when it comes to her new show there is simply nothing good to say about it. From her opening monologue, which was disjointed, repetitive, and awkward, to her twerking, it was embarrassing for her and painful to watch.
Bethenny starts her show with her talking about her rise to fame. Crapfest. She says she “knows women”. She does not know women, she knows how to manipulate stupid people to buy into her lies. She speaks as though she is simply amazing and that is why she has success. She does not mention that the only reason we watched her reality shows was because of her husband. She then comes out and dances, which is when we notice she has had some kind of unfortunate facial work done which is rather off-putting.
She spends five minutes speaking rather inarticulately about how excited she is and I am rolling my eyes and drinking a real margarita, not her watered down urine version. She welcomes three men to a segment about a man’s perspective. She is vulgar, sexually explicit, and not funny, cute, or endearing. We waste 15 minutes on that then get to section two, where she asks the audience questions they pick from a fish bowl. One woman asks for a hug and cries. Dear Lord. How much did they pay that chick?
This section is lame and I am skipping over it. They then bring out that sexy guy from the salad dressing commercials and Bethenny is sexually explicit and vulgar with him. For someone going through such a “horribly painful divorce”, she certainly is able to find her inner slut quickly. Section three is an interview with Nick Cannon. She talks more about Mariah Carey than Nick, then she attempts to twerk. I can’t. Honestly, she is simply mortifying and I am skipping over the rest of her time with Nick Cannon. Ugh.
She then has Flo Rider come out and sing Wild One. She dances, twerks again, and I am now chugging my drink and wishing it was a double. She tells every guest they are sexy, tells everyone they are her first guest ever, and they all lick it up. She thanks everyone for joining her, says she is going to be with us everyday, and while I am certain she will be a success, I will not be watching again. She is selling her own brand of Kool-Aid and it tastes like crap so I won’t tune in because she is incapable of keeping it real.
September 8, 2013 | 6:47 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Tonight's typos are generously provided by a Grey Goose.
We are still in Arizona for Melissa’s birthday. Why is it they drag the trips out so long? I am sick of Arizona already and while the horse whisperer was amazing, I am ready to go back to New Jersey. The problem with stretching it out is that we are starting this week already irritated. Everyone is together for a drink and Jac is blubbering about how great Teresa is acting and Caroline immediately wants a fight to start. I have been liking Carline but in the end she is never happy with the calm and thrives on the drama. She is bored and wants a project, like making peace.
Caroline wants everyone to come clean with what is bothering them. Joe goes after Teresa saying she has been trying to hurt Melissa. Joe is going on about Penny trashing Melissa, Teresa denies having anything to do with anything, Joe loses it and yells, then we jump back to 12 hours earlier. It is morning and Joe wants to make out with Melissa. The woman with a “perfect and sexy marriage” never wants anything to do with her husband. Buying that book! Teresa comes in and gives Melissa a pair of panties and it is weird. Teresa tries so hard but misses the mark.
Melissa wants to move on from the cheating rumors. Really? Of course she does. She cheated. Cut to Kathy, Rich and Rosie who are out for a walk. These people clearly don’t walk so the entire thing is stupid. They need to script everything for then so why are they on the show at all? Rich is checked out, Rosie is trying to support Kathy, Kathy is insisting she needs no support, Rosie is crying about how lonely she is. Over with Albert and Caroline, they are rehashing the horse therapy and honestly people I am bored. They are recapping the show and that is my job.
Over at the pool Rich is a moron and other guests are irritated. The women are taking a tennis lesson. Oy vey. They go back and forth between the men who are drinking, and the women who are playing tennis. Joe cheers Juicy and they make peace. The problem is what Joe is saying. Whenever Joe speaks it is as if he is saying exactly what Melissa tells him. He sounds exactly like his wife. Caroline and Albert are on their own, pretending to enjoy each other’s company, and the jumping between the three scenes is a failed attempt at dramatic editing.
Caroline is taking it upon herself to be their therapist and is going to force an argument so there can be peace. Everyone meets up at a trust challenge where they will walk cables and rely on each other. This should e good. I am pouring a drink incase it isn’t. Joe volunteers to go first and Teresa says she will do it with him. Everyone cheers them on. Teresa and Joe are cute but I am distracted by Melissa’s outfit. Really? She’s keeping it classy. Rich and Kathy go next and he is useless and not funny. Everyone is taking a shot and the music is the best part of the scene.
Melissa says she will do it and Joe sends Teresa to do it with her. They are trying while Joe conveniently gets a text from Penny saying it was Teresa who started the rumors about Melissa cheating. I have interviewed Penny and she is lovely, but she is not looking good here. Why is Joe checking Twitter while his wife and sister make peace? Oh Bravo. You are so transparent. By transparent of course I mean idiotic. Everyone is now getting ready for dinner. Caroline is a doctor, Melissa is lying, and I am pouring drink number two and waiting for Danielle on WWHL.
Melissa says what Joe wants, which she knows because she also tells Joe what he wants. Melissa is wearing an outfit from her stripper days and everyone is sitting down to dinner. Watching Rosie chew with her mouth open is grossing me out. Here come the dirty jokes. Joe gives Melissa a cake and her wish is for the tweeting about her cheating to stop. Really? She has three kids and that is her wish? Okay. Melissa makes a toast/speech and leaves out Teresa. What a bitch. It was not nice and Caroline immediately calls her out to the camera, but not to Melissa.
Everyone is sitting around having drinks, marveling at them all being together. Then Caroline jumps in and stirs the shit. She wants everyone’s heart to be clean and not simply have a band-aid on it. She says she is willing to be a bad guy because she is not into the fakeness anymore. Good for her I guess. I wonder if she gets paid more to be the bad guy? Joe jumps in and talks about the cheating to Teresa, pointing the finger at Penny. Teresa is defending herself and says Penny got info from Melissa’s friend Jan not her. Teresa does not want to talk about it anymore.
Teresa denies, Melissa mocks, Joe is freaking out, and this is lame. Juicy defends Teresa and Joe wants Teresa to shut Penny up. Teresa says she is not interested in giving Penny any power, Joe loses it and throws his drink, to which Melissa ushers him out and calls him an idiot. Great wife. She then tells the camera Joe has a heart ten times bigger than his temper and she loves him for it. Really? She loves him but calls him an idiot and tells him he is embarrassing her on camera? Melissa and Teresa may both be lying on some level, but Teresa is not malicious and Melissa is.
Juicy hugs Joe, Teresa says she will go with Joe to deal with Penny, and Melissa is talking crap about how she is letting it go. Something is not kosher in Jersey. They go Soprano and yell support of each other as Albert ends the episode with a heartfelt “get it done”. Next week we will be back in New Jersey and Melissa and Joe will meet with Penny, in what looks like a scene that does not include Teresa. I’m sure that was Melissa’s idea. This week has some good moments and in the end Caroline pushing the issues allowed them all to start keeping it real.