
Advertisement
Posted by Ilana Angel

We start this week’s episode of The Real Stupid Whores of Orange County with a scripted “friend” visit for Tamra and Heather. I am disappointed in what a pretentious bitch Heather has turned out to be. Damn these reality television Jews for always being icky. Whatever. Tamra is throwing Gretchen under the bus for being preoccupied with the car that she unknowingly bought for herself at Heather’s TV shoot.
Heather is complaining about her husband and seemingly blessed life. I’m bored. Cut to Alexis, who serves no purpose on this show, having a scripted visit with Lydia. Clearly Lydia was brought in so someone would shoot scenes with her. Alexis just may be the dumbest woman on television. She says Lydia could make her happy about her dog dying and I am laughing. She truly is dumb and completely useless and ridiculous on the show.
Lydia tells Alexis they all just went to the taping of Heather’s guest spot and Alexis is annoyed but intrigued. She is an actress now so she likes to hear about her peers. Seriously, I am laughing so hard I might spit out some of my wine, which would be a heart breaking waste of the nectar that allows me to watch this garbage. Lydia is advising Alexis to make nice with everyone and Alexis is not interested. Praise God.
Lydia lets Alexis know God would want her to forgive and move on, but Alexis is not sure God is sending her the same message. These chicks crack me up. Over to Vicki, she is having lunch with Brooks. Brooks makes me want to stick bamboo under my nails. He is creepy, she is creepy when she is with him, and we learn they are not on a break, but seeing each other a few times a week. They are awkward and I am so not into it.
Vicki is going to talk to her daughter and get her to accept Brooks. They try to make plans to go away and it is pitiful. These two need to call it a day, both for their relationship and being on the show. Time to visit with Tamra who is meeting with a communications expert because she is speaking at a woman’s exp about being an entrepreneur. Oh. My. God. The expert is going to help her make her speech. I am now drunk.
Lydia is heating canned soup for her husband and bashing her mom again. Poor Judy. Come here Momma and I will smoke pot with you. Lydia is sweet, but would be cuter if she took the pole out of her ass, and ate with her mouth closed. I like Lydia and her husband, which I didn’t think I would. She needs to just light one up with Mommy. I don’t have a pot smoking mom so I don’t get it, but still, pot is better than meth.
Gretchen and Slade are going to try to have a baby. Dear Lord. Slade has had a vasectomy and is going to reverse it. She is being tested to see if she is ok for pregnancy, and making a fool out of herself. She is as dumb as she is pretty. Actually, she is dumber than she is pretty. Turns out she is fine but getting old, his vasectomy is too old to reverse, and they will jump to IVF so she can give her loser the “gift of a baby”.
Vicki is going to babysit her grandson so Briana can go out with her husband, who is going for 3 months of training, followed by 11 months in Afghanistan. God Bless him for serving and God Bless her for being stuck alone with her mother for a year. Ryan comes out in his uniform and I don’t know if it is the clothes, or Memorial Day, but I cried. I feel so proud of him and of all the men and women who protect our freedom.
Terry and Heather are out for a special night. He is apologizing, she is bitching. He is funny, she says he is jealous. These two are fake. Who humiliates her husband like this? Why make us think you are such a bitch? We now think she is entitled and ungrateful. Lots of women are waiting in line to make him happy so she needs to get a grip. He writes her a beautiful card, she reads it on camera, and I am over them.
Time for Alexis to do a scene on her own because she has no friends. Of course she is also plugging her new business, reminding us how fabulous her husband is, and I want to cut myself. Sidebar: I love the Bravo commercials for the summer with all the Bravo celebrities, but in light of all the tragic ship accidents of late, the shipwreck theme is in bad taste. Not cute and a little offensive. Just saying.
Lydia’s mom Judy is over to teach her how to make lasagna. She uses the opportunity to bash her mother and tell her she was a bad parent. I want to smack this little girl. In a span of one second, she goes from telling her mother she sucks at motherhood, to telling her she is the best mom ever. I think Lydia may be smoking a little pot. She is confused, unclear on what she wants to say, and in the end rude to her mother.
Tamra is going to give her speech and her mother is with her. She is trying to be funny and failing miserably. Her dress is too small, heals are too high, and she is clearly constipated. There are hardly any people listening to her. She then talks all kinds of depressing crap and I am not sure how that makes her an entrepreneur or successful. She was to inspire people, but instead is sucking the life out of the room and I am cringing.
This speech is important, but being given at the wrong place. One woman gives her a standing ovation and it is a shame that a powerful moment is made to look ridiculous. Important to note that I’m not buying it. Sorry. Tamra is trying to make us like her and in the end it is hard to like someone you don’t trust. There is nothing appealing about her to me. This show is lame, these women are boring, and not keeping it real.

6.18.13 at 8:33 am | I need a shower to wash off the skank after an. . .

6.17.13 at 3:39 pm | This is humiliating to everyone who is Jewish.

6.16.13 at 4:56 pm | Teresa will never make up with Joe because. . .

6.15.13 at 9:56 am | This show did nothing for LeAnn and even less for. . .

6.14.13 at 9:14 pm | I have a new blogging technique for this train. . .

6.10.13 at 7:03 pm | There is nothing good or entertaining about these. . .

6.10.13 at 7:03 pm | There is nothing good or entertaining about these. . . (2774)

6.16.13 at 4:56 pm | Teresa will never make up with Joe because. . . (2655)

6.15.13 at 9:56 am | This show did nothing for LeAnn and even less for. . . (1872)
May 26, 2013 | 11:54 am
Posted by Ilana Angel

Leann Rimes is a talented woman. She can really sing and nobody can ever take that away from her. She has overcome a lot and been through hell to get to where she is. I feel for her when I think of her distorted childhood. She has shown resilience and strength to overcome the challenges of her life and she should be proud of that. I also want to clarify that LeAnn Rimes is, in my opinion, mentally unstable, morally corrupt, and in need of both psychiatric care and psychiatric drugs. For real.
We all know Rimes is suing Kimberly & Lexi Smiley. Kim and her daughter Lexi got caught up in LeAnn’s mental breakdown and are now being tested in ways that require faith, prayer, luck, and money. I want to tell Kim and Lexi that they have a lot of support, we all know the truth, and if they need my help at trial to talk about exactly what kind of women they are dealing with, I will be there. I don’t understand why journalists and entertainment news outlets are afraid of LeAnn.
Both Katie Couric and Giuliana Rancic did interviews with LeAnn and spent the entire time kissing her ass instead of calling her ass out. Why is it that nobody is asking her the tough questions? She is clearly not well and instead of trying to make her accountable for her actions, she is treated like a victim and handled with kid gloves. LeAnn Rimes is an inherently evil person in that she takes pleasure from hurting people. Enough already. People need to stop allowing her to lie and hurt innocent people.
LeAnn’s lawsuit against the Smiley family is ridiculous. Important to note that she is indeed suing the entire family. Every penny that is spent on legal fees is money taken away from this woman, her husband, and their six children. Kim Smiley is an amazing lady and we do not need to feel sorry for her. She is tough as nails and she will fight this to the bitter end because she fights for what is right every single day. She does not need pity, she needs emotional and financial support to battle evil.
Kim Smiley did nothing to LeAnn except have an opinion of her. Everyone has an opinion of LeAnn Rimes and the only ones who speak favorably about her, are the ones being paid to. Her fans, her friends, and her husband are all on her payroll so I understand their support of her because nobody wants to bite the hand that feeds them. At some point however one must believe that decency will prevail, karma will step in, and she will stop. What a sad and lonely life she has that this is how she uses her time.
LeAnn Rimes says she does not read my blog, yet she is spending a lot of her holiday weekend tweeting about me. She says I don’t know what I am talking about, yet continues to write letters to my editor trying to get me to stop. If what I write is not true, then why does she care what I say? She gets upset when people try to discredit her, yet she has no problem trying to discredit me. LeAnn Rimes is, in my humble opinion, mentally challenged, emotionally stunted, and suffering from mental illness.
She need not get offended by my blog because according to her I don’t know what I’m talking about, and she will never read it. I agree that she will never read it because I find it highly unlikely that she can read. She will pay someone to read it to her, then she will get mad, send another letter to the Jewish Journal, have her Twitter staff attack me, tell people I am treating her like Jews were treated by Nazis in the Holocaust, and let people know my blogs come from a place of jealousy. Bless her.
LeAnn Rimes is a danger to herself and to others. She should not be allowed to care for her husband’s children as she is incapable of making good decisions for herself, so how can she be trusted with young kids? She needs for someone in her life to start telling her the truth. She needs for someone to love her more than they love her money, and help her see what is happening and realize that she is ultimately hurting herself the most. We think she is an idiot and a whore, and that is her own fault.
You can read about the lawsuit against Kim Smiley and how you can help her and her family at http://www.gofundme.com/HelptheSmileys. If any media outlets or journalists want to talk to Kim, I will happily make an introduction. If LeAnn wants me to tell her the truth, I will do that too. LeAnn Rimes needs to donate all the money she is wasting on this garbage to the people of Oklahoma and focus on being decent. Not sure she has the capability, desire, or mental function to understand what it means to keep it real.
https://twitter.com/realilanaangel
May 23, 2013 | 4:21 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel

Blogging about these women is a real challenge. They are not interesting, not appealing, not entertaining, and not real. They have become caricatures of themselves and exemplify everything that is wrong with reality television. We are watching horrible people, be horrible to each other, and much like a meth addiction, we just can’t stop. I have a bottle of wine with a rather long circus straw plunged into it, so here we go again.
We start with Heather who is getting the kids ready for school, along with Terry, as she prepares to go to LA for her first day at work on a sitcom for a guest spot. She is complaining about her husband and I am bored. Cut to Tamra who has decided to get Eddie ready for marriage by purchasing him a wedding ring. A ring for a wedding that he is not prepared to have. Tamra is an idiot. She is joined by Lauri, an old face from the past. A very, very old face.
Really? Why in the hell is this woman back? They must need the money. These women are overstretched, over tucked, and over inflated both in their egos and their boobs. Lauri catches us up on her kids, who cares, and assures us she is insanely happy. I’m thinking not so much. They jump right into bashing Vicki. I honestly do not know why Lauri is back or why Bravo thinks we care about anything she has to say. This is scripted garbage.
Over to Lydia, she is visiting with her mom and all she wants to talk about is her mom’s pot smoking. We love that about Judy and think Lydia needs to let it go. Your mom smokes pot. Move on. Lydia seems hell bent on humiliating her mom and all she is doing is embarrassing herself. She treats her mom like a child. She does not seem to mind her mom spending money on her when she is high, but wants the pot to stop. I need Lydia to shut up already.
We are now forced to watch Heather pretend she matters. She is cute I suppose. If cute means annoying. The only thing of interest in this entire scene was Betty White, who I think I might actually be in love with. Jumping to Alexis, she has decided she wants to be an actress. I cannot stand her. She is on the show in isolated scenes by herself or with her douchelord, and I simply do not care. I am skipping over her and her crap fest.
Gretchen has gone away for a little mini break with her douchelord Slade. I think Slade is a piece of crap. Incase you are thinking he is great, he is about to prove my opinion is correct. For Gretchen’s birthday, he has leased her a new Rolls Royce. Hang on! Turns out her lease on a Mercedes was up, so he upgraded her to a Rolls. She will pay for it, but yet it is a gift from him. Slade is a dumbass and Gretchen is intellectually deficient.
Gretchen is confused by the gift and proceeds to call him names, laugh at him, and let him know if she is out more than a couple hundred bucks a month, she is going to kill him. Over to the other “ladies”, they are heading to LA to watch Heather’s taping. Lydia demands a drink, then complains about her mom’s pot smoking. Why she wants to embarrass her is a mystery, but she is coming across as mean and selfish. Tamra looks constipated, and Eddie looks dirty.
I am passing over Alexis and her acting class to jump straight to Heather. Vicki is at the taping and only Slade and Gretchen have not yet arrived. Then, as if scripted, they arrive and sit down, only to step out. Gretchen is panicking as she tries to pull up what I can only assume is her new car lease, on her phone. She wants to know what Slade has done and what the cost will be. It is hilarious. These two make me want to remove my own skin.
The entire gang is off to dinner to celebrate Heather’s taping. Gretchen tells everyone that Slade gave her a fake gift that she is required to pay for. Important to note that Slade has a child in the hospital and perhaps that money could have been used to offset his medical bills. Just a thought. Gretchen is then clearly annoyed by Tamra sitting next to Vicki and their appearing to kiss and make up. Gretchen is not having any of that.
Vicki and Tamra find a happy place at dinner and Gretchen is scared. She should be scared. Life when you are that dumb has got to be a scary place. Sidebar: There appear to be other guests, sitting off on their own, which is weird. Terry gives a speech in honor of Heather and she uses it as an opportunity to tell the camera he is trying, but they are still not in a great place. Really? Get on board or get out Heather, and just stop complaining.
Next week we will be asked to sit through Gretchen getting her ovaries checked, Heather castrating her husband, Tamra talking about suicide, and Lydia trying to make Alexis one of the group again. Bravo is certainly asking a lot of their loyal fans. Instead of giving us new people so we can get a fresh start, they continue to feed us meth, and we all know no good can come of that. I am now drunk, annoyed, and the only one keeping it real.
http://www.facebook.com/IlanaAngelBlogs
May 20, 2013 | 8:46 am
Posted by Ilana Angel

This season went by quickly for the viewer, but probably dragged out for these women. We have seen classy, trashy, inspiring, funny, scary, crazy, and unbelievable. They have invited us into their lives and although it was not necessarily what we thought it would be, it has always been entertaining. I will be sad to see them go, hope they come back, and am looking as forward to their reunion as I am to the start of Real Housewives of New Jersey.
It is a two hour show and one would think that is a big deal but it is just two episodes shown one after the other and if you were waiting for some big finale blow up, it is not coming. They are leaving with a whimper, but that is okay. After all we have seen, some of them are probably happy to slink away quietly. I’m guessing no real closure comes tonight but I am still invested, still interested, and have enough wine to get through.
We start with Quad and her husband Gregory having dinner. They are really cute together and I like them much more at the end than I did in the beginning. He is ready for a baby, she is happy with her dog kids for now, and they are funny. I like this couple and would like to see more of them next season. She is going to get pregnant and milk it for all it is worth. Watching Quad have a baby is going to be seriously great television.
Mariah and Aydin have decided they need to talk to Lauren about the fact that she is adopted. It is crushing and having spoken to Mariah about this on the phone, it was devastating to her. Aydin and Mariah had a plan of how to explain to their child that she is not Aydin’s biological daughter and for Toya to have stepped in, causing them to change their parenting plan, is something I do not understand. It goes beyond being a mean girl.
Toya is having her family over a visit. Her mom, mother-in-law, and other assorted family members. Toya is a poser and I am sick of her. She should not be invited back to next season. She is a selfish, mean, ungrateful, moronic, fame whore. Her mother touches on what a unruly child Toya was, and instead of being proud of what she has overcome, she decides to bash the entire city of Detroit by saying if you live there, you will get shot at.
I think the main problem I have with Toya is that she is ignorant. She does not think about what she says, just blurts out idiotic things. Someone gave her the expression “malicious intent” and she has said it 100 times in reference to talking about Lauren and I spend half my time screaming at the television when she talks, and the other half laughing at what a complete ass she is. It must be hard to go through life when you are that stupid.
Toya is planning the launch party for her husband’s new business and decides that she will not invite Mariah and Quad to the party. It was not a good idea and she should have included them. Don’t say you want to move on if you are not willing to move on. Toya is a snake. We leave the gutter and head to Dr. Simone’s house. She is talking to her fabulous husband Cecil. Important to note I have a crush on him and think he is the best of the men.
We jump to Mariah who is out walking with her mom, and tells her they spoke with Lauren about her adoption. To hear Mariah speak about the situation with Lauren, there is a change in her voice. She sounds sad and that is heartbreaking. I think everyone has made light of this situation when it is a serious breach of trust, and a disgusting choice by Toya. Toya is a bitch and needs to be put in her place, but Momma is a little out of control.
Simone has kicked Cecil’s nephew out of their house. It is a sweet and funny scene. Simone wants her house back and the kid gets the boot. She is super cute and I love her. If you don’t follow her and Cecil on Twitter, you should. They have a great banter back and forth, are always funny and kind with their fans, and are exactly the same off the show, as they are on. That cannot be said for some of the other cast members. These people actually seem normal.
Dr. Jackie is launching a website at the same time she is launching her medical spa. It is all about the vagina. How the vag works, what makes it sick, what makes it better, what makes it feel good, and what makes it happy. Dear Lord. The classy Dr. Jackie has gone all Kandi on us. Simone’s reaction is hilarious. Quad is there to give her two cents and I feel bad for Jackie’s husband sitting there are they discuss the vagina. Bless him.
It is Jackie’s medical spa opening and she describes it saying she hopes it is infectious. That cracked me up. I don’t think infectious is a word to be used when discussing a vagina or spa services. Kari is talking about the spa and bashes Mariah and Quad. Toya is there and says that Mariah and Quad were not invited to her party, which is happening the same day. Couldn’t they have picked different nights to have their parties? That is weird.
Toya bails to get ready for her party as Quad and Mariah arrive. Kari is acting strange with Mariah, but wants to have a conversation with her sister Lake. Who cares? If she was so worried about Lake she could have called her. Kari is starting to cross lines and it is not cute. Kari then unceremoniously lets Mariah and Quad know they were not invited to Toya’s party. Not nice, very immature, and a serious ugly, mean girl move.
Kari and Duncan arrive and they are getting less cute each time we see them. Duncan and Kari are looking to get in on the new business and it is all just strange. The teams have now been formed. We have Simon and Jackie in one corner, Kari and Toya in one corner, Quad and Mariah in one corner, and the fans in another corner. Just when I think they can salvage the situation and all come back together, Toya and Kari go to anther level.
Kari tells Toya that she thinks Mariah has a mental illness, and Toya concurs. These two bitches went on camera and said this woman has a mental illness. When did Kari and Toya become doctors? It is hurtful, mean spirited, ugly, and in the end ridiculous. All their little games prove is that they are the ones who are paranoid and not well. I am mortified by this turn, and in my opinion, it is unforgivable, goes beyond reality TV madness, and makes me angry.
Am I missing something? Am I drinking so much while watching that I am forgetting parts of the story? Toya tells people that Lauren is adopted, Mariah reacts to it, and now Mariah has a mental disorder? Kari wants us to think she is above all the drama and too sophisticated to behave badly, yet she is the one behaving like an animal. Mariah created this show and they are essentially shitting all over her. How is this even possible?
Jackie and Simone are meeting with Mariah and the camera goes back and forth between the doctors telling Mariah to move on, and the bitches saying Mariah needs to be medicated. It is brilliant reality television, but very sad in terms of how women treat each other. Cut to Mariah now talking to Aydin, and they decide she will invite all the women over for dinner to make peace. She will make an Indian feast and calls to invite them all over.
Mariah is trying and regardless of what the motives are, she is trying. Kari is a bitch, and Toya is only going to support Kari. No good can come of this dinner. Quad is visiting with Jackie and I like them together. Quad is fun, and Jackie needs a little more fun, so they can be good together. God Bless Jackie who is still trying to pull this group together. She is either painfully naïve or simply pure of heart. This group will never all get along.
Kari is out for tea with Toya and it is all so sad. Kari is on the outs with everyone and the only hope she has to get camera time is with Toya, so she has attached herself to the devil. Kari is having the 20th anniversary party for Duncan’s business and has decided to not invite Mariah or Quad. This storyline is now getting stupid and we all know you cannot fight with stupid. Kari and Toya are showing exactly how stupid they are, and it is hilarious.
Time for Kari’s party for Duncan and she is so busy she forgot to brush the back of her hair. Shame. Kari, who did not invite Mariah and Quad because it was “business”, takes time out the party to present her husband with a trip to Europe, and pretentiously shows everyone at the party a slideshow of the trip. Really? I wonder how it is possible that Kari does not understand she rubs us the wrong way when she behaves like this. She is horrible.
Kari is trying to push Jackie into moving her practice to the medical building she owns with Duncan, and my advice to Simone would be run. Very, very fast. Kari sent an email to Mariah and Quad telling them they are not invited to party because it is business. Mariah and Quad are talking about Kari, Kari is talking about Mariah with Jackie and Simone, and I am exhausted. This show is not interesting with all the garbage being slung.
Quad is now meeting Toya for lunch. Dear Lord. This is just too much. Toya is still talking about Eugene calling off his wedding to Quad, which happened 5 months ago, and did not stick because they are married. Toya says she is not still talking about it, Quad proves she is, Toya tells her she is wrong, Quad tells her she is shady, then Quad drops a bomb, saying Toya was arrested for driving drunk, with her baby in the car. Oh. My. God.
Quad is sticking to the story of Toya being a drunk, Toya denies it, and I don’t believe any of it. Did these women not think all this crap would come out on television? We have seen Quad’s mug shot, but not a police record for Toya, but the fact is, who cares? We don’t care ladies! We wanted to peek into your lives of privilege, not get dragged through the gutter. We have the real housewivews for that. This show has gone off the rails and they can't pull it all back.
Sidebar: Kari and Toya were on WWHL after the finale and want us to believe they did not plan to have matching outfits. Really? They did not ask each other what are you wearing? The lies continue. Important to note that while on set waiting to go live with Andy, Kari started to message me unclear why everyone was being to hateful to her on social media. Really Kari? You did no favors for yourself when you sided with the devil.
Sidebar: I like Kari. I like Mariah. I have spoken to both of them on the phone and I feel bad for them that the show has taken such an ugly turn. I will say however that Mariah is exactly the same on the phone as she is on the show, while Kari is very different. We are not seeing true colors because that is impossible on reality television. That said, I am more inclined to believe what Mariah is saying, which is my personal view as a fan.
Taking the plunge into reality television is a risky business. You are going to get eaten alive by those who don't like you, and inflated to the moon by those who do. The blogosphere is not a forgiving place and if you rub people the wrong way, it will follow you. I think Kari is a lovely woman and for whatever reason she is not coming across that way. My advice to her would be to cut her loses and leave the show because she cannot recover from the opinions that have been formed.
The same could actually be said for all of them. They all have fans and they all have haters. What is done is done and so the focus needs to be on how they move forward. Sending messages to a blogger throwing your costars under the bus is probably not the way to go. If you want people to think you are a lady, act like one. I don't pretend to know these people, and I simply watch like everyone else, but if it looks like a duck, and it talks like a duck, it is probably a duck.
Cut to Mariah’s big night. She is preparing a full on Bangladeshian feast for all the ladies. Toya and Kari cancel. Shitty. The girls all have native dress and the meal is one I wish I had been invited to. I feel sad for Mariah. She is trying and they are not willing to meet her halfway. Turns out while Mariah’s dinner is going on, Kari is over at Toya’s house. Toya is telling Kari about Quad’s accusation of her being a drunk driver. Oy vey.
Kari gets on her high horse and talks about the backstabbing of Quad. Really? Kari is the one who is always talking smack, always trying to bring people down, and always the one to gossip. Cut to Kari, in the very next breath, gossiping about Quad and Mariah. It is ugly. These women are behaving badly and they should all be mortified by what is going on. I am still on Team Mariah. These bitches need a kick in the ass.
We are about to wrap up two hours and the entire show has been watching them gossip to each other in groups, never all together. It is a pingpong match and I am exhausted. I honestly cannot listen to it anymore. It is stupid. Mariah is talking about how she is done, while Kari and Toya are pulling up Quad’s mug shot. It is embarrassing. These chicks need a reality check because they have clearly lost their minds. Seriously.
Jackie and Simone have risen to the top. They are not perfect, but bless them as they are decent and inherently kind. Mariah and Quad come out winners to me, and Kari and Toya are the losers. They are so unappealing that they don’t even belong on reality TV, and we will watch anything! Toya and Kari need to be let go and we need to get a new wife and a Jewish doctor to come on board. Having a medical show without a Jew makes no sense.
Then, just like that, it is over. No update of what is happening now and who it talking to who, just an ending with some dramatic music. I cannot wait for the reunion and truly hope these women come clean and we get some answers. I will be back for the reunion and the fact is I will be back for season two. We all will. All we ask is that Bravo seriously consider recasting this show. We love it, but will walk away if you can’t keep it real.
http://www.jewishjournal.com/keepingitreal
May 16, 2013 | 2:13 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel

I have been sick with a bad cold and sinus infection for a week. A drag to be sure, but also a relief because I was on antibiotics and could not drink, which made it impossible to watch the Real Housewives of Orange County. One should never attempt to watch this show without the help of merlot. These chicks are shrill, bitter, mean, nasty, made out of plastic, and a pathetic example of what it means to be a housewife. They are quite simply, hideous.
They are also boring. Nothing interesting has happened since the season started and the only reason to watch is to get a glimpse of Lydia’s mom Judy, who should get her own show. I missed two weeks of this garbage and so I must now do a double blog. This is the ickiest hour of television on Bravo. They were the first group to air, and they have truly overstayed their welcome. Time to go bitches.
Heather and Tamra are out for lunch with Lydia, who is wearing a headband that nobody over the age of 8 should be wearing. Lydia is turning out to be quirky, but totally likeable. Tamra on the other hand looks like she lives with chronic constipation and for someone who has had so many lip injections, her lips look very thin. She actually has the mouth of an 80 year old smoker. Interesting. Lydia is fair and kind. For now. This show will change that.
Jim and Alexis are doing their nighttime skin regimen and I want to vomit. They only shoot with each other because nobody else will film with them, so what are they even doing on the show? Watching Jim put on his moisturizer and Alexis take of her makeup is just too much. These people are annoying and not too bright. They also throw around God a lot and I have to wonder what God would think about these two. They never should have come back.
Vicki is talking to Ryan, her son-in-law and I find it ridiculous. This ungrateful kid is dictating how she lives in her own home and it is shameful. He is an ass and she is allowing him to rule her house. Very strange. I think both Brianna and Ryan should grow up and get their own place. Move on and move out. We jump from the losers, to all the glory that is Judy. This woman is fabulous in all the ways that reality television should be fabulous.
She is a pot smoking, fairy dust sprinkling, loving, and sweet mom. Unconventional to be sure, but bless her, she is a hoot. I don’t know anything about her, but she clearly has money, a drug problem, an open heart, and I would totally hang out with her. Lydia has an interesting outlook on her mom and I find myself liking her. To be clear, she is a freak and I could not be friends with her, but I like her, and think she is a lot of fun.
Over to Slade and Gretchen, I am not watching them. I think they are horrific people and I am disgusted by them. His son is seriously ill and he is not with him, while Gretchen cries and makes it all about how difficult it is making her life. I cannot stand Gretchen, think Slade is a piece of garbage, and I am repulsed by both of them. I have never had such an adverse reaction to people on TV. I might actually hate these two. For real.
Heather books a guest spot on a TV show and it is sad. She has become completely unappealing, not a good representative of Jews, and painfully unaware of how blessed her life is. She is spoiled, entitled, and bitchy. She is also in need of some plastic surgery and can get it for free, so let’s go Heather. We leave her Royal Highness and head over to dinner with Brooks and Vicki. Oh. My. God. Why oh why do we watch this show? It sucks.
Vicki loves him, he is annoyed by her family, and she cries. Dear Lord. Brooks says he would not let his kids dictate what happens in his house. Really? A bit of a stretch since he does not own a home, or appear to have a job, or support his kids. These two are a mess and I think it is sad. Vicki is the original housewife and she continues to humiliate herself. I would not buy insurance from her because she is a hot mess and clearly unstable.
Judy and Lydia are out for breakfast, talking about the joy of pot. I love me some Judy. Lydia is preaching about drugs, but whatever. She’s allowed. I don’t think for one minute that Judy has stopped smoking pot. Cut to Tamra, she is opening the offices for her stupid wives and wine business. I am not even listening to her talk about this business or Vicki because I am focused on how obvious it is that Eddie is over Tamra and wants out fast.
Heather is out for dinner with Terry and their kids. She complains about how crazy her schedule is, while simultaneously castrating her husband in front of their children. They fight in front of the kids, bring them into their fight, and I am sad watching it. Heather is a bitch and has become all the things she said she hated about the women when she started. She needs a kick in the ass and a reality check on how blessed her life is. For real.
Heather is now getting ready to go out with Terry, and rehashing their fight. That she is willing to do this on camera is gross. She won’t let it go. He is funny and charming and loves her, but she is feeling neglected. She is bitching, again, about how hard her life is and he cuts his toenails during the whole thing. I don’t understand public castration, and I think she is insane, but he is a bit of a dumbass and does not know when to stop.
He should be embarrassed that his wife is humiliating him, and she should be embarrassed that she is such a bitch. Cut to Tamra who has organized a wine tasting trip to Malibu. Eddie is more about riding his bike than being with her and you have got to ask, how long will this charade last? He is just not that into her. He needs a shower and a shave. They are repulsive and I am mortified for her children that this is the legacy she is leaving for them.
Everyone but Alexis is on the wine trip. Lydia gives a get well card from her son to Slade’s son, to Gretchen. Retched gives the card to Slade. Yes Slade, who is on a wine tasting trip while his son is in the hospital. Douchelord. Tamra is talking about wine like she cares about it, and nobody else cares. Vicki is an idiot, Heather is a snob, Eddie cannot wait to get away from Tamra, and Lydia is wondering what the hell she is doing there.
Alexis and Jim are on. I am skipping it. Vicki is using her baby voice to talk about how lonely she is and how horrible it is to be party of one. Really? Stop being an idiot and maybe you won’t be alone. I am now digging Lydia’s husband too. These are very sweet people. They are a little odd, but who isn’t? They are young, have a strong sense of faith, and are going to get beaten up by these fame whores. I hope they make it out alive.
Lydia supports Alexis, while everyone else bashes her. Heather is talking about her guest shot on a TV show and again brings out her dirty laundry. Tamra is mean to Vicki, talks in code under hew breath to Gretchen, and we are reminded that none of these people like each other. It is enough. This show needs an entirely new cast, or even better, Bravo needs to let them all get on with their sad lives, away from the camera. Seriously Bravo, enough.
Cut to the next day and Eddie and Slade are late for brunch because they are on a bike ride. Eddie would rather ride for 6 hours than be with Tamra. Ouch. Terry wants to make a public declaration of love to his wife, and instead it is about him apologizing for raining on her parade. She cannot be gracious and kind, instead embarrasses him and will not let this go. She has lost her mind. She is bashing him on camera and it is lame.
Terry says he mentioned divorce. Dear Lord. These people are out of control. Vicki makes it all about her, then Heather starts crying. I want to stick a piece of glass into my throat. Tamra is annoyed with Vicki, then Vicki bails to head back home. Tamra is pissed off and follows Vicki out, only to call her a bitch. I am now seriously thinking about breaking my wine glass but can’t bring myself to waste the wine. These people are ridiculous.
Tamra is bitching, Heather tells Terry she is embarrassed by his behavior, and he is apologizing. He didn’t really do anything, yet he apologizes all the time. Every time. This family better get a grip and leave this show before they end up in divorce court. Reality TV rips families apart and that they are letting it happen, and allowing us to watch it, is weird. Important to note my wine bottle is now empty and so relief may be in sight.
Brianna is visiting Vicki and complaining about how hard it is to be a mom. Really? I’m bored. Vicki is talking about the wine trip and I wonder how it is possible that not only did we sit through it, we now need to listen to Vicki recap it for us? Vicki is not into being friends with Tamra. They are not friends so walking away from her should not be hard. Speaking of Tamra, she is now out for dinner with Eddie. There is no chemistry between them.
Tamra looks much older than Eddie. Eddie is looking at her and wondering why he does not dump her and get a hot young girlfriend like Simon. Tamra is telling him she does not know how to communicate, hates being mean, and blames it on her upbringing. She says she hates to hurt people’s feelings and it makes her die inside when she does. I cannot stop laughing and I don’t think it is because of the wine. Tamra is a moron.
I watch this show because it is an excuse to drink. I also watch because I am paid to write about it. I am addicted to it like it is meth, and no good can come of watching this show, or doing meth. The only thing that happens is that we all get a little dumber, a little drunker, and a whole lot more irritated. I will keep watching of course. The truth is that you just can’t walk away from meth, or the real skanks of OC, so I’ll just blog, and keep it real.
http://www.facebook.com/IlanaAngelBlogs
May 14, 2013 | 6:18 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel

These chicks have been classy, sophisticated, immature, and trashy. They are great television and with only two episodes left, they are scrambling to end on a good note. Not going to happen. We have seen too much to believe they are as together as they want us to think they are. I love this show, but when they come back for season two some of these bitches need to be gone. Everyone will have their own list of people to get fired, and Toya is on the top of mine. This woman is a pig and should not be invited back.
We start with Dr. Jackie talking to one of her employees about the epic fail of the lemon squeeze. It is scripted and makes no sense to me. She is not having this conversation with an employee. That goes against everything she wants us to think about her. In the end she is a high school mean girl, like everyone else. Cute though that she wants us to think she is so much more mature and appropriate than the others. I like Dr. Jackie but she is a poser and needs to focus on being a little less rigid, and a little more real.
At Dr. Simone’s house, Cecil’s bar is finished and it looks beautiful. Toya and her husband come by for a drink. Meanwhile at Kari’s, Duncan has forgotten his key and knocks on the door. Kari is teaching her kids about poverty and it is a transparent and silly attempt by Kari to get us to think she is not a snob. Does not work. It is pretentious and fake. Duncan walks in, his kids are excited to see him, but he waltzes right past them without a word, and summons Kari into the kitchen to talk to him. Strange family dynamic.
We bounce back to Simone’s house and it is all about bashing Mariah. Fascinating that thee people seem to forget she created this show and brought them in. Not too bright really to bash the boss, but whatever. Toya insists she has no malicious intent when it came to Mariah. Bullshit. Toya’s husband Eugene is unaware of what a bitch his wife is, and we see the real breakout star of Married to Medicine is Simone’s husband, Cecil. This man is divine. He is the voice of reason and I am totally crushing on him.
Back to Kari’s, I am bored. Everyone has a lot to say about Mariah, but never to her face. They prefer to gossip and it shows that women are really not very kind to each other. No matter how old we get, we are wired to be mean to each other. Sad. Kari does not want Mariah to go to the wine tour. Did I forget to mention that? These women, who cannot stand each other, and had a physical confrontation, are all going on a bus together to drink wine. Dear Lord. Cecil will host the husbands for a drink when they go.
Quad is out for drinks with her college girlfriends who were in her wedding party. They are drinking Patron shots and Mariah joins them. They go to RHOA flop stop Bar One. They are the only ones there. I am loving me some Quad. She came in with a bang and she is leaving with a boom. I. Love. Her. Not sure what the purpose of this scene was as we learned nothing. It seems to me that this show lost its way and needs to get on track because this is not exactly what we wanted, or what we were told we were getting.
This was supposed to be a reality show that focused on the intelligence of women and show African Americans in a way we don’t always see. Instead it got real trashy, real fast. It’s about women so that is to be expected on some level, but this show can and should be more. They need to come back for season two with the trash gone and the ladies shining in the way they should. By trash of course I mean the hideous and pathetic Toya.
It is Duncan’s 20th anniversary of his practice and Kari is going to mark the occasion by getting professional pictures done. Really? This girl is so fabulous on the phone and just a pretentious mess on the show. Such a shame. She invites Mariah over to talk to her during her photo shoot. Really? The scripting of the friendships is exactly like the real housewives crap fest. We came here for something different, so it is a drag.
Mariah is hurt Kari never checked on her after the fight, and Kari is mad Mariah never called her to apologize for fighting in her home. They apologize to each other and what was a war flickers out in an instant. Not buying it. We are off to the wine tasting bus tour. Toya has a taser. Toya is a liar, a skank, a fame whore, and an idiot. If they bring her back next year I won’t watch. She sucks the joy out of this show is a big way. She brings invites to a party, but not for everyone. Really? Can’t afford stamps?
They are in the bus and heading out for wine. Jackie starts the trip with a prayer, which I love. It begs the question: on a show about medicine, why is there no Jew? Jews and medicine go together like wine and reality television. My suggestion would be to replace Trashy Toya with a nice Jewish doctor, or a fabulous Jewish broad that is married to a doctor. If you are going to keep it real Married to Medicine, you need a Jew. By Jew of course I mean try to get a normal one. Reality Jews are always crazy.
Dr. Simone is fantastic and packing vodka in her purse. I love her. Sidebar: can anyone explain the makeup on these chicks? The eye shadow is killing me. Kari wants to go around and have everyone share something nice about everyone. Oh. My. God. How old are we? It is ridiculous and there is a whole lot of ass kissing and dagger throwing going on. They have arrived at their destination and wine is about to be poured, which means that whining is coming too. Wine and whining is not cute, but good television.
Simone takes Mariah out for a minute alone. Simone knows Mariah is upset and wants to fix it. I think Simone should have done this earlier, but good for her that she was able to do it now. These are good people and when they behave with decency and kindness to each other it is more compelling than when they fight. Compelling may not be what reality television is aiming for, but they should embrace it because it is what we want. There is always going to be crazy, but it’s the normal that we all crave and love most.
Quad now takes Jackie off for a minute alone. I really like Quad and Jackie. Jackie is a bit too wound up, and Quad is a little loose, but they are sweet and Quad telling Jackie that the lemon squeeze was not a waste of time was really sweet. They are both beautiful and when Jackie laughs she is gorgeous. I think the saddest thing about Jackie is that she always seems sad, so to see her laughing is very touching. Quad made a lovely gesture and the women are now all together and getting their drink on.
Toya says she wanted the day to be a new start for the ladies. Is she high? Toya is a gutter pig that seems to forget she is a disgusting skank. Back in Atlanta, the men are arriving to "Cecil’s Bar" for a drink. Aydin, Mariah’s husband, is lovely and a real gentleman. Duncan apologizes immediately and I respect him for it. Cecil mediates it all and gets the men to a good place, although they were never really at a bad place, as much as an uncomfortable place. Everyone apologizes except for Toya’s husband. Asswipe.
He wants to make sure they are okay, and Aydin is moving on. There is no apology from Toya’s husband, and there should have been. Not necessarily for his wife, but for the situation. Aydin is the winner here. He was classy and appropriate and it was nice of him to even go. Duncan was all class, Cecil was perfection, and Toya’s husband was a douche. What is his name? I can’t remember and don’t really care. Back on the bus, the ladies are hammered and it is going to get good. By good of course I mean trashy.
Toya wants to know what she ever did to Mariah, and drunky Ms. Mariah is all for talking about it. She tells Toya how she hurt her family. Mariah tells her that she needs to acknowledge what she did. She is clearly heartbroken and I feel for her and her daughter. With the men, Toya’s husband is defending Toya talking about Lauren and it is insane. These two are perfect for each other. They are both ignorant, stupid, and whoring themselves out to TV to pay for a house they cannot afford. Bravo needs to fire their asses.
Toya takes ownership of her talking about Lauren, but denies her doing it to cause harm. Why do it if not to hurt? Mariah accepts the apology. Big mistake. Toya is evil and this is not going to end well. They hug it out and I feel bad for Mariah, and angry with Toya. Next week there are going to be a lot of bodies thrown under the bus for the finale. How they end will be interesting, but how they come back will be fascinating. I love this show, love these women, and really hope Bravo allows them to come back, and keep it real.
http://www.facebook.com/IlanaAngelBlogs
May 11, 2013 | 8:38 am
Posted by Ilana Angel

LeAnn Rimes and I have an interesting relationship. I like to write about how odd I think she is, and she likes to write about what a bad Jew I am. I like to marvel at her fashion choices, and she likes to have her publicist write letters to my editor. I am constantly amazed by how inappropriate she is, and she likes to find new ways to be inappropriate.
As Mother’s Day approaches I find myself thinking about LeAnn and wondering what she will do to make herself relevant on a day when she is irrelevant. She is not a mother. She is however a mutha, so she will Tweet something insane about how blessed she is to have two such beautiful young boys in her life. Bless her. She will give me a laugh, and a headache, on Mother’s Day.
I believe that you don’t have to give birth to your child to be their mother. I feel the role of a stepmother is an important one to be respected. That said, respect is earned and a woman who is going to be a stepmother needs to know her place and not think for one moment she is the mother to those children. Important to be sure, but not the mother.
My son has a stepmom and she loves him. She has been in his life for a long time. Years ago when she met my son, she made LeAnn look like an amateur. She crossed lines of decency and appropriateness that I still marvel at all these years later. She loves my son, but her choices made it impossible for me to love her, and those feelings remain a decade later.
LeAnn Rimes is going to wake up one day and realize that these two young boys don’t like her. It will be a subtle change, and one she will not really understand until it is too late. My son is 17 years old and when he looks back on the past decade he has a clear picture of his stepmom and she did it all on her own. You can’t be respected as a mother figure, if you bash the mother.
LeAnn Rimes is a talented singer and to be fair, I have never met her. However, I am basing my opinion of her on what she has said. This chick does not know how to be quiet. She also does not have the ability to surround herself with people who want to help and protect her. Instead she pays people to say and do what she wants, but what she wants is ridiculous.
At the end of the day, that is LeAnn’s problem. She is not particularly bright, which has nothing to do with her lack of education, but rather her lack of decency. She does not respect her stepchildren, or their mother, and in doing so, does not respect her husband. He’s a piece of crap, cheating, douchebag, but still, she does not respect him or his beautiful children.
LeAnn Rimes is fascinating. She has the ability to change our opinion of her, yet she does not seem to care. Well, of course she cares or she wouldn’t have her publicist write my boss to get me fired, so perhaps rather than not caring, she simply does not understand. This young girl, both in age and maturity, needs someone to help her because she is clearly drowning.
Her album is tanking, she humiliates herself on Twitter, she cannot sell a reality show about her life, and she spends a lot of her time trying to hurt people. It must be exhausting to live your life with so many people watching and judging, but the real stress comes from knowing you could change it, but are too selfish and ego driven to do the right thing.
To all the stepmothers who love the children in their lives, I suggest you reach out to the mother of your husband’s children and wish them a Happy Mother’s Day. To be given the blessing of helping to raise a child is something to be grateful for, and thanks need to go to the person who made that possible for you. Respect the mothers of the kids you love.
To LeAnn Rimes, I can forgive you for being ridiculous because you have had nobody in your life to teach you right from wrong. I cannot forgive you however for making the conscious decision to be mean. You lack common decency and that is haunting you now. If anyone in your paid inner circle cared about you, they would start telling you the truth.
Being a stepmother is important. You are helping to raise children and your opinions matter. I am blessed my son’s stepmother loves him. She has missed out on a much fuller life however, but not respecting me. Some women will never learn, and that is a shame. Happy Mutha Day LeAnn. Time to dial back on the crazy and focus on keeping it real.
http://www.facebook.com/IlanaAngelBlogs
May 6, 2013 | 7:44 am
Posted by Ilana Angel

I look forward to this show each week and am bummed it is such a short season. These chicks are crazy in all the ways you want reality television women to be. Unlike the Real Housewives of wherever, they are not yet aware enough of the cameras to have it alter their behavior too much. They are as real as they can be, and that only happens in the first season of a show, so enjoy it while you can because next season will be very different.
We start off at Dr. Simone’s house with her family. I love this woman, love her kids, love her husband, love her drinking, love it all. Her husband Cecil has built a bar in the basement. They are getting ready for Homecoming weekend. They went to Spelman and Morehouse, which as a loyal viewer of The Cosby Show, I know are two historically black colleges in Atlanta. It is impressive, cute, and All American, that they met and fell in love during college.
Over at Trashy Toya’s house, her husband is in a meeting for his new business and she comes in to try to take over. She is focused on money, likes talking about money, and thinks she is responsible for her husband making money. Toya is an idiot. She should be offering her guests a drink and getting lost. She should also be rethinking her earrings. Maybe she should invest in a stylist and some new hair. The girl is trashy.
Her husband quickly puts her in her place, embarrasses her a little bit, and shuts her up. I’m guessing he does that a lot. We jump to Dr. Jackie who is with a patient. I love babies and enjoy when the patients are on the show. Jackie could not have kids because of a battle with Cancer and it is sad, but she talks about it a lot, which is also sad. Cut back to Toya and her husband. She wants to talk about Mariah, but he is not interested in talking.
Toya is crying because he does not want to talk about the fight. Toya is starting to crack and we are seeing into her marriage, which is not as fabulous as she would like us to think. She cannot get support from her own husband so maybe she needs to reevaluate the situation and own up to the fact that she started the fight and the truth is going to come out. Toya is a mess, not interesting, and needs to get canned before season two.
Cecil and Simone are hosting an event for Homecoming weekend, and she has invited Jackie and Toya. Not sure why she would do that. Translation: she was asked to include them by producers so they could talk about Mariah. Jackie looks gorgeous, Simone is smashed, and Toya is rocking some truly hideous earrings. Again. Jackie wants a “Lemon Squeeze” to help hash out the problems with the women. It is insane that Jackie wants to control it.
Jackie will get them together, with no drinking, in closed quarters, with the cameras rolling, and make everyone friends again. Toya thinks it is lame because the women have no manners. Toya is a bottom feeder and her pointing at others is hilarious. Cut to Mariah, she is making dinner for her family. She catches her son Ethan in a bit of a lie about school and she shuts that down real quick. I love this chick and her family.
She tells her husband about the Lemon Squeeze. Mariah is upset that everyone is taking it so lightly. A lemon squeeze is not going to fix anything. Nobody has acknowledged the hurt and purposeful attempt to hurt Mariah by Toya. She is stressed out, but manages to end the scene with humor with her husband. I like Mariah on this show and the truth is that had it been me, there would have been teeth flying out of Toya if she hurt my baby.
Dr. Jackie’s patient is having her baby and it is really exciting. Jackie cries when talking about never having had a baby herself. I feel for her and thinks she is classy, but does every show need to talk about it? I don’t think so. Cut to Mariah, who is out for lunch with Quad. I like Quad, but annoyed she invited Toya to her dog party. Nobody is looking forward to the Lemon Squeeze, and nobody is coming to the table with good intentions.
Kari and Toya are getting their nails done together. All Toya wants to talk about is how everyone is on her side and their friendships are strong. Toya is stupid and the truth will come out. Everyone is arriving to the lemon squeeze, some get bonus points for wearing yellow, but there is tension and nobody wants to talk to each other. Cut to Toya who is now wearing the most hideous of her earring collection. She looks ridiculous.
Mariah wants wine, Jackie is insisting no alcohol, everyone is bored, and the whole idea of taking the problems into private to be hashed out, makes no sense with the cameras rolling. This was a dumb idea, but here we are. Jackie is explaining the rules and I am so done. This is silly and Jackie thinks she is a teacher with her students, not a group of grown women. She gets the night started by talking about the fight at the birthday party.
We are shown the footage again and see that Toya started the physical fight. Jackie was not even there so why is she getting all up on everyone’s business? Kari talks and says she did not throw Mariah out of her house. She is talking in a negative way, and it is a shame because she is really lovely and it is just not translating well to television. Cut to Toya.
Toya wants an apology. She talks about getting beaten as a kid by her mother, and that she has issues with being hit now. I think she is trying to get sympathy. Seriously, I’m not buying it that Mariah took her to her dark childhood. Whatever. Mariah will not apologize and says that she is angry at Toya for putting the wellbeing of her child in jeopardy.
Toya is a low class bitch and I am on Team Mariah with this. Toya is lying, scrambling to get her story straight, and I don’t understand why everyone is not seeing what we are seeing. Mariah calls out Jackie for not getting it, Jackie is hurt that Mariah is saying she can’t get it because she never had a baby, and Kari is struggling with the pole stuck up her ass.
Mariah calls Kari a liar, Kari has the back up emails to prove what she is saying, and now everyone looks crazy. The Lemon Squeeze crashes and burns. Jackie is surprised, which is funny, and walks off in tears. Everyone else just sits there unsure what to do as the cameras are rolling. It’s just too funny. Next week they are all going on a trip together. Oy Vey!
It is impossible to know what is true and what is not here because the editing is off. We will get a clearer look into it all at the reunion, so that is something to look forward to. Everyone has a team and in terms of the fight I am on team Mariah, but in terms of reality TV as a whole, I will trade in the housewives for Married to Medicine. These chicks are keeping it real.
http://www.facebook.com/IlanaAngelBlogs
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
| |||||||||