December 13, 2011 | 9:26 am

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills – RECAP

Posted by Ilana Angel

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We start off with Taylor and Lisa having lunch at Lisa’s restaurant.  Taylor looks horrible and tells Lisa she can’t remember what happened at Brandi’s party because she was drunk.  Lisa is trying to be a supportive friend, which is weird because they were never friends before.  Taylor has lost the supportive ear of all the other women so of course she turns to Lisa, but I’m surprised Lisa agreed to do it.

Even stranger, is Pandora has invited Taylor to her Bachelorette party in Vegas.  By stranger of course I mean scripted.  It pisses me off when Bravo thinks we are dumb enough to believe this crap.  Lisa calls the Chippendale dancers chipmunks, and when Taylor thanks her for lunch, says she thought Taylor was paying for it.  Hilarious.  I constantly change my mind about Lisa and this week I love her. Shame they are forcing Taylor on her.

DD is over at Camille’s, still in love with her, and Brandi comes over for a visit which makes no sense because Camille lives really far and stopping in for a visit would not happen in Malibu unless it was scripted.  They are rehashing the party, referring to Taylor as needing an exorcism, and Camille defends herself.  Camille does not need to defend herself, she did nothing wrong. DD however, needs to shut the hell up. Who cares about DD?

Camille is gorgeous, Brandi is fun, and the editing is laughable.  Taylor just sat with Lisa for the first time, yet Camille says Lisa and Taylor are now good friends.  So lame.  Adrienne and Paul are off to tape a show together and their bickering is ridiculous.  It was cute in the beginning, but is now just silly.  Adrienne is a bitch, does not like Paul, and you have to wonder what is so great about her that Paul stays for the constant public humiliation.

Kyle is shopping with Faye Resnick and it’s annoying.  Why the hell do we have to constantly see Faye?  Bravo would be hard pressed to find a fan of hers. Does anyone like her? Lisa is shopping for wedding dresses with Pandora and it’s sweet.  Watching Lisa see the dresses is lovely.  Sadly she is once again wearing a dress that is too small and cannot walk in her heels, but still, she is likable this week and she has a fan in me.  For now.

In Vegas, Camille is showing off the penthouse of the Palms and it’s stupid because everyone is so impressed, but we’ve seen it a million times, for a million years.  Brandi and Dana arrive and Kim, as usual, bails with a phone call.  Lisa and the bachelorette party have also arrived and are staying at the Hard Rock.  Given the choice, I would stay there over the Palms too. Lisa’s suite is much nicer than the tackiness of The Palms.

Kyle bailed on Vegas so she could shoot the cover of her book.  A book she wrote about her life and passions.  Seriously?  Who cares about what Kyle Richards has to say about fashion and kids?  Is there a chapter about how to be a selfish sister who only cares about herself?  Is there a chapter about being a fame whore who has calluses from desperately hanging onto the coattails of your sisters and niece?  I’m guessing not.

Back in Vegas, Brandi, Camille, Dana and Adrianne are together and we are reminded that Dana is the most obnoxious and boring women they have ever shoved down our throats.  They better no bring this chick back.  I have interviewed her and she was fun, but it does not translate and she brings nothing to this show. Plus her fiancé is a jackass so I imagine his karma is part of her undoing.  Take care Dana.  It’s been boring.

It’s time for the Chippendale dancers and that is worth the price of admission.  These are some seriously attractive men and yet I am distracted by the size of Taylor’s mouth.  It is massive.  Lisa is thoroughly enjoying the show even though Taylor is annoying her.  The other girls go dancing and Brandi and Camille are having a blast together while poor DD is forced to watch the only person she will ever really love grind on someone else.

Kyle is shopping with her mother-in-law and “runs into” Kim.  We have not seen Kim forever, and when we do she is wasted, so it’s random.  Kim and Kyle sit to talk and Kim shares that her new relationship is not being accepted by her children and she is broken.  She is crying and clearly distraught, and Kyle is a cold bitch.  She is not supportive or comforting.  Her sister is crying and instead of hugging her, Kyle wants to talk about her weight.

It is heartbreaking to see Kim this way and I want to comfort her, but I want to kick Kyle more.  She is making this about her, not her sister.  Kim is falling apart and Kyle is trying to make herself cry.  Kim is lonely and asks Kyle for help, and Kyle is too concerned with the camera angles to help her. I am embarrassed for Kyle and mortified for Kim.  We have heard that she is now in rehab, which is good, but sad because she is probably alone.

We are shown a clip from next week and in 10 seconds I am left incredibly uncomfortable.  It is the white party and Taylor is told she cannot come in because Russell was not invited.  His face clearly tells us that he knew nothing about the things Taylor was saying about him.  The story of Russell and Taylor will all come out and we will see Taylor is hiding more than she is sharing. Time for Taylor to start keeping it real.

December 12, 2011 | 10:05 am

Real Housewives of Atlanta: From Babies to Drugs

Posted by Ilana Angel

These chicks are fun to watch but this week was odd.  The story flow was a little off and the whole Kim baby delivery seemed weird.  She is void of any real emotion and is so focused on the cameras that she has lost her authentic vibe.  Well she never had an authentic vibe so it’s not that lost it, as much as she just really does not have it.

Kroy is very sweet but he is so young I have a disconnect between him and Kim.  He is adorable and I like them together, but that does not mean I get it.  Over at Cynthia’s she is heading to New York on business and while packing she is unable to hide the embarrassment she has about the husband she has chosen.  She does not seem to like him at all.

We meet Sheree’s mom and she is very pretty.  Sheree is complaining about Bob and the lack of child support and her mom tells her she was in the same position when Sheree was young, and she needs to fight for her kids.  It’s sad.  We are seeing a tormented and vulnerable side of Sheree and it’s compelling.  She’s still tough as nails, but softer now.

Cynthia and NeNe are in NYC and she is focused on separating herself from Peter, well at least financially.  Bravo must be so excited that they get to see the crumbling of yet another housewife marriage and can capture it all on film.  Just when we start to see the torment of Cynthia, we are thrown into court with Phaedra and see who she represents.

Dear Lord, she gets a guy out of jail time for having tinted windows, which he lies and says are gone, but are not.  He was caught with pot and admits he will not test clean.  He then pulls out a wad of cash to pay her from and the whole thing is insane.  I lost a lot of respect for Phaedra when I met her client, but understand better how she met her husband.

Cynthia goes to meet with Russell Simmons and it showed how uninteresting Cynthia is.  I love Russell, and his brother, and it was fun to see him, but I could have cared less about Cynthia and actually forgot she was even there. Back in Atlanta, Kim is checking into the hospital to have her baby.  She lets the nurse know she does not smoke.  Really Kim?

Momma Joyce is getting dolled up so Kandi can take her picture and put it on a dating website. She is ready to date and she looks very pretty.  Kandi tells her she looks great and Joyce says she looks like a drag queen.  I think she looks beautiful and it’s a sweet exchange between them.  Especially from last week when Momma was still pissed about the stripper.

Sheree gets child support papers from Bob and she opts to have the conversation about what a loser he is on a speakerphone, with her child listening.  I swear these women are more concerned with fame than their kids.  Why not go into another room?  Why does this 14 year old boy, who clearly already has sorrow, have to listen to this crap?

It’s now NeNe time.  I love NeNe and think she is good television.  She is having lunch with some Italian guy who is simply creepy.  Nene is a trip and watching her on this business meeting/date is hilarious.  She is sweet and trying really hard to not look completely freaked out by the creepiness of the date, but then tells us she likes him.  Go figure.

Cynthia is out with a friend and it’s gross.  Cynthia is playing the game and setting the stage for her marriage to end.  It is disgusting and a cheap tactic.  She is whoring out her new business so it can be the thing that saves her when she gets divorced and needs to make money.  She says she loves Peter and it will be okay.  I call bull^%$#.

Kim has her baby but we don’t see anything because it’s all being saved for the new show.  There is nothing appealing about Kim this week except for her new baby and her husband.  They have a beautiful baby, two gorgeous little girls, and look really happy.  Not sure I’ll be able to stomach her new show, but I wish them all loads of health and happiness.

The best thing about this weeks show was the commercials for the special episode that is being shown on Tuesday.  Sheree is in court with Phaedra as her lawyer and it would appear Phaedra tanks.  Lynn Hudson has written to let me know she is hiring Ms. Parks to sue me, and come Tuesday that will be even funnier.  I’ll be back on Tuesday keeping it real.

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December 11, 2011 | 5:42 pm

News Flash: Jill Zarin Loves Barbra Streisand!

Posted by Ilana Angel

I am not the world’s biggest Jill Zarin fan, and contrary to the crazy kool aid drinkers of the blogosphere, I do not work for her.  I have written some blogs that support her and others not so much.  At the end of the day I like her as a television personality because she is funny and entertaining.  I will miss her on RHONYC because good or bad she was a lot of fun.

People love to hate Jill.  It’s quite fascinating that so many people spend so much time devoted to saying horrible things about this poor woman.  She is simply a nice person who is reality television personality.  She is not Satan, a spokesperson for all Jews, or plotting to take over the world.  If anything, her dealing with all the public hate with such dignity makes her a saint.

I get my fair share of hate from the same people as they thing I am “just like Jill”.  Since no matter what I say about Jill people hate me, let me say this, leave this poor woman alone.  Don’t like her?  Then don’t watch her every move. If you mess with her, I will defend her.  I will support her as I would anyone who is being persecuted. Jewish or not.

Now, let’s clear up the Barbra Streisand situation.  Here in LA on Thursday night, The FIDF, which is Friends of the Israeli Defense Forces, had their annual fundraising gala.  It is a big deal here in town and lots of people go. Some go to support financially, some to be seen, some to see others, and some to check out the insanely attractive Israeli soldiers in uniform.

Jill was there with her husband and took a video, got excited about it, and posted it online.  Who cares?  She was told to take it down and she did.  I would have been tempted to post also.  It’s not about wanting to get fame or align herself with Ms. Streisand.  It’s about being a fan, getting excited, and wanting to share it with people in your life.  That’s all it is people.

Barbra Streisand is not a regular human being. She is magic.  She made Jewish girls beautiful, sings to me with the voice of an angel, and inspired me to study Torah through Yentl, which I think is cinematic genius.  Barbra Streisand is iconic to many, but to me it’s personal as she touches so much of my Jewish identity.  I get the desire to want to share her.

So Jill, if I am to assume that you feel about Ms. Streisand as so many of us do, it’s okay.  You made a mistake, fixed it, and life goes on.  As for the haters, in the words of Charlotte from Sex and the City, “We’re Jews. We’ve survived worse than this.”  Hold your head high, know that you have people on your side, keep the faith and keep it real.

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December 8, 2011 | 10:37 am

Patti Stanger vs. The Millionaire Matchmaker

Posted by Ilana Angel

Millionaire Matchmaker is a difficult show to watch because everyone on this show is a little odd.  From the staff, to the daters, to the fake clients, to Patti Stanger, nobody is believable or particularly interesting.  The main issue I have with this show is Patti and how ridiculous she is.

She says things that simply do not make sense.  This could be due to the fact that she appears to have no real grasp of the English language.  Last night I watched three hours of Patti Stanger.  One episode was her season finale and the other two were reunion shows with Andy Cohen.

Let me begin by saying that three straight hours of Patti Stanger is not something you should ever do.  Ever.  I have a huge headache, mostly from sitting through the crap fest, but also from the laughing.  Important to note I was laughing at them, not with them.  This show is lame.

The first hour is about getting a date for Patti herself and it’s so fake I can barely watch.  The clichés thrown around by Stanger, and her staff, are predictable, and not funny.  She is 50 years old and wants us to think she is not only looking for love, but to maybe have a baby?  Okay.

The casting session for her potential love is so fake and desperate that I am talking on the phone, answering email, and poking myself in the leg with a shard of glass, all of which is more fun that watching for real.  It’s time for Patti’s mixer and she is so nervous she might puke, which is good.

It’s only fair that a show that has made us all want to vomit for five years finally makes her want to blow chunks.  She looked pretty and I’ll give her kudos for putting herself out there, but the ass kissing from her stuff, and her underlying bitchiness makes me not care how it goes for her.

Important to note that I have met Patti Stanger, had a conversation with her, and she was not nice.  She was stuck up, rude, abrasive, very aware of the room and who was there for her to meet.  She was not at all interested in talking to her fans, and at that point she actually had some.

Watching Patti try to date is weird because she comes across as insincere. The whole thing looks staged for ratings.  There is no way she is going to date someone she met on her show.  It would simply never happen because even Patti is not dumb enough to think this crap works.  Or is she?

If she thinks we will believe that these men paid for these dates, and that a divorced dad of two who wants to date rich women is taking her on a private jet to a spa, then Patti needs to be under the care of psychiatrist.  No way in hell he dropped one cent, or enjoyed the awkward kiss.

Sidebar:  How are we supposed to take her staff seriously?  She berates people all the time for how they look yet she says nothing to her staff about how they look, which is not business professional.  There are a lot hypocrisies in the world of Patti Stanger, which is not cute.

Before we go on, can we talk about the biggest pile of crap? Patti says she is a third generation matchmaker and it’s in her blood.  She says she gets the gift from her mother and grandmother and that is what makes her so good.  But she also tells us she is adopted so how is it in her blood?

Was her biological mother also a matchmaker?  If iit’s some kind of family gift passed down through generations, how is it that Rachel and Dustin are also brilliant matchmakers?  The truth is nobody on this show is a great matchmaker. 99% success rate my ass.

Patti picks a nice guy to go on her date with but not until she tells a complete stranger he makes her wet.  Contestant Mike says Patti is smart which shows he is dumb, and Patti wants us to believe that her 7 year relationship ended because there was not passion.  Okay.

Patti goes on two dates and I’m muting the TVbecause when I fill in the conversation on my own its more entertaining than the crap they are feeding us. Let’s skip over the rest of this fake dating and go onto the reunion.  Maybe we’ll get something interesting there.

The reunion starts with Patti telling Andy Cohen that she loves gay people and Jewish men.  She is back peddling and trying to be pro gay but it’s bull. She meant what she said about Jews and gays and her apology was stupid. Andy looks frustrated and we are not even 5 minutes in.

Here are some notes from the reunion:

- Botox does not help cluster headaches
- someone on your payroll is an employee not a best friend
- you can’t kick a client out of a club they don’t pay for
- even Patti Stanger is embarrassed by Patti Stanger
- I think Robin Kassner is fabulous
- how can Patti think she can have a Matthew McConaughey?
- work Patti is a bitch
- non-work Patti is delusional
- I don’t believe all these millionaires have money
- you have to be insane to be a client on this show
- Madison is the most boring gay man on television
- Shawna needs a therapist and a better plastic surgeon
- Patti says okay too much
- that Shawna would do this show again proves she is not well
- Patti talking about relationships is like nails on a chalkboard
- does Andy like Patti or despise her?
- Patti does not say anything original
- Patti is not doing God’s work
- no woman wants a man to go squishy inside of her
- Patti giving plastic surgery advice is insane
- Patti giving advice about anything is insane
- Patti is not an expert on anything
- Patti is a lot like Bethenny Frankel
- I don’t go for a butt first on a man
- Patti is not like a scientist

I am now 19 minutes into part two of the reunion and I want to shoot myself in the foot just so I have something else to focus on.  This show is seriously lame and I don’t get why it lasted after season two, which is when Patti fell in love with her own voice and became bad television.

Patti is mean and if karma is paying attention she should be worried.  She is burning some love bridges and so I don’t know how love will work out for her. Here’s the most shocking part of this entire blog, I think I might actually like Patti Stanger when she is not being Patti Stanger.

At the end of the day she is just a woman, like all of us single women, looking for love.  She is getting tripped up by the persona she created for TV. I have a feeling Patti is probably a nice person and just not sure she can show us that, because she knows we won’t believe it.

I’m don’t think she can undo what she has done that makes her annoy the hell out of us, in fact I am certain she cannot.  I have written some snarky things about Ms. Stanger and I stand by it as it is based on my encounter with her, along with what she shows us of herself on television.

I never thought the day would come when I said I liked Patti Stanger, but I do.  I want to push the Millionaire Matchmaker down a flight of stairs, but I want to go out for lunch with Patti Stanger. At the end of the day we are in the same dating pool and would have lots to talk about.

I can’t end the blog without saying that the reaction of Patti to the engagement surprise was odd.  She was genuinely shocked in the same way one would be, when after 5 years of blowing smoke up everyone’s ass with tales of matchmaking, there is actually a match.  Authentic shock.

I am not going to be watching Millionaire Matchmaker anymore.  By anymore of course I mean ever again.  This show is bad for women, dating, and television.  That said, if Patti Stanger ever wants to grab lunch, I’m in.  Patti and me together?  Now that is keeping it real.

 

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December 5, 2011 | 10:48 pm

RHOBH: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Posted by Ilana Angel

Dear Lord this week was painful to watch.  By painful of course I mean I wanted to cause myself pain by plucking out my own eyes, which have been more fun than this show.  At what point is Bravo going to stop the crap and start getting real?  Taylor simply does belong not on television.

Before we jump to Crazytown, Lisa is with Pandora and her soon to be Mother-in-Law picking the table décor.  Pandora is allowed to share her opinion, but Lisa is doing what she wants.  The Mother-in-Law to be is not only not permitted an opinion, but is not allowed to speak at all.

Kyle is with Estella getting her final exam after her facelift.  She looks great and Kyle is annoying.  She went from most fabulous to most offensive and is full of crap.  By full of crap of course I mean her desire for fame has made her smell like crap, which is actually noticeable through my television.

Brandi is out for lunch with Adrienne.  Poor Brandi.  She is really fun, seems great, and is stuck in the mud with a bunch of sticks in the mud. Adrienne Maloof is boring.  Her hair and clothes are straight out of the eighties, and she brings nothing of interest to this show.  Nothing.

Kyle is having a Cinco de Mayo dinner for friends and family.  She says they always have a party, yet she pulls out half a bag of carrots and throws them on a plate big enough for 5 bags.  She also manages to embarrass her husband and mock him for picking black shoes over brown.

Kyle is unable to sit quietly and allow her guests to enjoy themselves. She needs to talk all the time and make everything about her.  It’s annoying and sad because she used to be really great.  She is now simply a fame whore with nothing interesting to say.  Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Lisa takes us to SUR, which is under construction.  There are weeks I love Lisa and others when I think she is horrible.  At the end of the day I think she is fabulous and wasted on this show.  She is a lady, who actually has money, and lumping her in with these losers is a shame.

We see Kim for 10 seconds and it’s not even worth mentioning.  Brandi is having a party at a friend’s house in Malibu.  They will have dinner and drinks, and get a belly dancing lesson.  Camille is on her way over with a couple of friends.  Weird that she can’t go anywhere alone.

Important to note that I think Camille is the best thing about this show this year.  She is funny and calm, and rather entertaining. She is beautiful, handles herself with grace in the wake of personal turmoil, and is exactly what I think a woman of Beverly Hills should be.  Bravo Camille.

Sidebar:  Kelsey Grammer is a douchelord.  I understand people cheat, and marriages end, but his behavior towards his wife and children was ugly.  The kind of ugly that gets you a first class ticket on the A Train to hell.  Even with only one side of the story, we know he is a schmuck.

Kyle and Taylor are going to Brandi’s party.  Ever since Taylor pushed her husband to kill himself, it’s hard to watch her.  Even harder than watching Taylor, is listening to Kyle talk about Taylor and her problems.  It’s dueling limo rides with Camille wanting no drama, and Taylor up for a fight.

Adrienne arrives in her Dynasty 80’s outfit, along with a Michael Jackson red leather jacket.  Why is nobody helping this woman get dressed?  Why do Kyle and Taylor need a stretch limo for just the two of them? Why do they all bring random friends?  Why is Taylor even on this show?

Brandi has a great body and the girls are all bagging on her for not wearing a bra.  Meow.  Camille says she is too self-conscious to wear the same outfit, yet she posed naked.  Brandi looks amazing, especially after two kids.  With those boobs I would not wear a bra.  Or a shirt.

It’s belly dancing time and Kyle is ridiculous.  She does the splits, again, and is acting like a freak.  She makes a joke about Brandi’s nipples and at the end of the day Kyle is a bitch.  A classic mean girl who bullies the weak and takes joy in their suffering.  Much like Lynn Hudson.

Taylor is once again whining about the gravity of her situation.  Camille’s friend DD, steps in where she has no business and makes it painfully clear she is in love with Camille.  Her desperate clinging on and hero worship of Camille is a little creepy.  Before we know, the fight is on.

Taylor is drowning in her storytelling and it’s predictable.  We don’t know what to believe, but more importantly, we don’t care what the truth is.  Taylor needs to be fired from this show, and then when she has time to regroup, be questioned about her role in the death of her husband.

Camille’s groupie starts a fight, with Taylor, who is clearly on the edge.  It’s embarrassing and they should be ashamed of themselves. There is screaming, pulling, pushing, crying, and then in what is a horrific editing choice, Taylor threatens to jump off the balcony and kill herself.

I am skipping over the rest of this fight as it is simply offensive of Bravo to expect me to watch it.  Everyone leaves and it’s a clusterf*&^.  Just a quick thought, why was Dana not invited?  Because she is not, nor will she ever be, a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills.

Taylor whips out cigarettes from her purse and starts smoking in the car while falling into an alcohol induced ugly cry.  She can’t stop crying, and Kyle can’t stop talking.  I said today my Christmas wish was for Donald Trump to stop talking but I would rather Kyle stop talking.

Taylor was on Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen tonight but I skipped it as I am quite certain if I watched it, I would have to write something mean about Taylor and my blog is about the characters within the show, not outside of Bravo editing, and so I’ll pass, to keep it real.

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December 5, 2011 | 1:01 am

RHOA: Night of the Douchelord

Posted by Ilana Angel

This week starts out with Phaedra going to see Kandi at her shop.  She brings a cake as a peace offering for subjecting her Mamma to Ridickulous. Phaedra looks very beautiful, and her cake looks divine.  Phaedra is a Southern belle with a wild streak.  She is a little obsessed with the act of pleasuring herself, but God bless her for owning it.

I find myself quoting Phaedra quite often.  Her latest gem was shared tonight when speaking of Peter she said, “Peter can make a dollar out of fifteen cents.  Peter is a pimp.”  I really love Phaedra.  She can pull the lady card all she wants, but she is a broad and I love that about her.  I also like Apollo and think they have a super cute baby.

Cynthia is going to MC a fashion show and even before she starts I’m worried for her.  She is not particularly articulate so this is somewhat worrisome. Lawrence arrives in his heals and lipstick and he looks beautiful.  Back to Cynthia, she could not have done a worse job and actually said “wunway”.  She is seriously blessed to be so beautiful.

We meet a new couple in Charles and Marlo.  According to Phaedra, remembering she is not one to gossip, NeNe had a thing with Charles.  It took ten minutes for the ladies to start knocking down NeNe.  Poor NeNe.  She is popular and famous, and that bugs the crap out of Sheree.  Luckily Sheree looks good in green.

Cynthia is at her new agency with her sister Mal and her Momma.  We find out that Douchelord #1 is in trouble and short 40K for his new business. This storyline is boring.  Cynthia is passive aggressive, and while a pleasure to look at, brings absolutely nothing to this show. Mal is worried Cynthia will give her Douchelord the money.  Blah. Blah. Blah.

Sheree is at the park with her kids, when the ex shows up.  We are now spending time with Douchelord #2.  Clearly Sheree married for money.  This is not a handsome man.  He looks like an unfortunate version of Mike Tyson. That said, he could be the most handsome man in the world, but since he does not pay child support, he gets ugly fast.

We learn that NFL Bob has not paid child support in 4 years.  She has never taken him to court, and claims she does not want to hurt her kids, but is on national TV airing his dirty laundry. She throws water on Bob and he calls her evil to the core. Sheree may be a bitch, but bitch is better than Douchelord. This man is a pig and should be ashamed of himself.

We now spend time with Kim.  She is not around much because she is shooting her own show, but this chick is a loon.  Maybe it’s the tone of her voice but she does not sound very supportive of her children.  Her daughter is worried and nervous about the new family and Kim could not be more blasé about it.  Kim is an odd bird and I felt bad for Brielle.

NeNe goes to see Peter’s new place and it’s weird because she is more affectionate with him than his wife is.  NeNe is fun and still the star of this show if you ask me.  Phaedra is giving her a run for her money, but Nene is still the Queen Bee of Atlanta.  She agrees to come to the opening of Bar One and act as a co-host with Peter to help them out.

NeNe leaves and Peter and Cynthia are left alone together, which is awkward.  They have no chemistry together and I don’t get what she sees in him.  She lets him know her family is not coming to the opening and he lets her know he does not care.  She really needs to dump his sorry old ass because he is a sinking ship.

Sheree goes to see Phaedra for legal advice since her Douchelord has not paid child support in 4 years. Sheree gets emotional which is shocking because it’s the first time we’ve ever seen that from her.  She cries at the thought of putting her ex in jail for failure to pay support.  Phaedra offers to help for free and Sheree says she will think about it.

She does not want to make rash decisions, so she needs to think it over. Really?  Four years with no money and she needs to think about it?  We see that Sheree is sweet and deep down just a girl who is hoping for a miracle, not the hard ass she has wanted to think she is.  I feel bad for her and bad for Bob.  How did he blow this so bad?

Kandi goes to see her Mom and she is still pissed off about Ridickulous.  If she freaked out this bad over a stripper, how will she feel about Kandi’s dildo company?  I hope they us that conversation! I feel for her mom, love her new hair and think she needs to get the hell over it.  Not a bog deal Momma Joyce.  It’s over and you need to move on.  It was sad when Kandi cried.

We’re off to the opening party of Bar One and it’s weird because people are there, all dressed up, and furniture is being moved around.  Why are they still under construction DURING the party?  It’s tacky.  The funny thing is that the air conditioner is not working and people are melting in the hot Atlanta summer. Makeup is running and hair is drooping.

We learn the bar is located in the hood and Phaedra lets us know that it will be successful because “people in the hood need to drink too.” Peter tells Cynthia he got 40K on his own, he is gangster, and she needs to trust him. Trust?  Is he high? I can just imagine how he got it in less than a week. It makes no sense , and I imagine it’s shady.

Cynthia is either really naïve or really, really stupid.  Meanwhile Nene has still not arrived and the party is almost over.  The gossip is that she does not want to run into Charles, and while it’s just here say, Kandi jumps right in, as does Sheree, and tries to make it into something it is not.  These poor women will do anything for some camera time.

I watch all the housewife shows, including the mistakes that were Miami and DC, but these chicks are my favorites.  They are real women, with real issues, and they don’t hold back.  They are fun, and while I think I might be scared of a couple of them, I’d love to have lunch with them all. They may not be typical women of Atlanta, but they are entertaining, and keeping it real.

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November 30, 2011 | 11:49 pm

Jews & Blacks on Reality Television

Posted by Ilana Angel

I love reality television.  By love of course I mean I am addicted to it.  Even though most of it is useless, I cannot stop watching.  Reality television is like drugs.  You try it once at a party, and before you know it you are in front of the television watching a Kardashian rerun over any other offering.  I’m not a drug user, but I’m guessing it’s more like crystal meth than a joint.

I wrote this week about The Real Housewives of Atlanta.  I got many angry emails based on the following statement:  These ladies live a life that I like to watch because I am unfamiliar with it.  The southern and African American aspects are new to me, but the best thing about these women is that unlike any other city in the franchise, they will not pretend to be friends when they are not.

People were mad I thought the ladies of Atlanta were a true representation of African American women.  Really?  I don’t think, nor did I say, that Sheree is like all Black women from the South.  I learned about a prayer shawl and that is Southern.  I saw an elaborate funeral with a band and a horse and carriage, and that is African American.

I learned about weaves and wigs, but that was from Kim so that lesson does not apply.  I understand the frustration from the African American community that these women are not representative of who and what they are.  If anyone can understand, it’s the Jews.  We’ve got Patti Stanger spewing her crap fest and everything thinks she is what Jewish women are like.

The Jews of reality television are never cool.  They are either weird, nerdy, obnoxious, and always stereotyped.  Or, they are fun and great, until they do something people don’t like, then they are attacked and everything is blamed on them being Jewish.  Reality TV has not been kind to Jews or Blacks.  We need a new reality show that properly depicts how fabulous we all are.

I think 6 women, 2 Jews, 2 Blacks, and 2 Latinas would be great.  Educated and normal women who are not fame whores, but just cool chicks who want us to see into their cool lives.  I’m trying to think what city would work and I’m not sure. The Real Housewives of Los Angeles makes the most sense but with Beverly Hills and Orange County already out there, we need to head east.

RHOA does not show the world what it means to be a Black woman, just like Patti Stanger is not someone the Jews are proud of. I can’t comment on the Latinas of reality TV because there aren’t any.  The only real thing about reality TV is our addiction. If these shows are what people base their opinions of Jews and Blacks are then God help us because Bravo is not keeping it real.

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November 29, 2011 | 1:44 am

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills RECAP

Posted by Ilana Angel

Remember when the housewives were fun?  Remember when they laughed at themselves, were silly, and gave us a peek into their lives, and it was a life we could see for ourselves?  Me too.  Those days are gone and this week on RHOBH it became very clear that those days are never coming back.

We start off with Lisa and Pandora picking out the final wedding invitation. Last week Lisa tweeted that she did not pick the boxed invite, but then we saw that she did.  Granted it was smaller than the original one we saw, but it’s still pretentions and with postage over $150 a piece, which is gross.

Lisa is truly beautiful and has a killer body, so I don’t understand whey she feels the need to wear clothes that are so tight, and shoes that are so high. She would walk better if she went one size bigger on the clothes and one inch shorter on the shoes. She’s simply too old for her current look.

On to Adrienne, she is designing her own shoe line and I use the word designing very loosely.  She pulls out her favorite designer shoes, and tells her team to copy it.  Fascinating really that she went with this approach with the cameras rolling.  Not the way I would have gone, but that’s just me.

Sidebar:  Adrienne is sweet girl, but she has a level of immaturity that I don’t really understand.  From her clothing choices, to her designing practices, to how she handles her friendships, is all a little young for me. Plus, forgive me but it must be said, side ponytails are simply not cute.

The next scene is so wrong I can’t wrap my head around it.  They show Russell and Taylor in therapy.  I’m not going to comment as it is inappropriate, but I will say that I think it is disgusting, rude to his children, and a sell out for Bravo to show it.  I also think Taylor is a liar.

I was not there, and do not know these people, but I do not think Taylor was physically abused by her husband.  I think they were both emotionally abused by each other, and I think he took his own life because he knew she was going to destroy him and his reputation.  Just my take.

Back at Lisa’s, they are sampling dinner for the wedding.  Pandora does not want housewives drama, the wedding planner is divine, Lisa tries to eat cotton candy like Taylor, but misses the grossness of it, and the caterer is whoring out his company on every surface in the kitchen.

Kyle and Brandi go out for a manicure, just the two of them, since Taylor bailed.  I don’t trust Kyle.  She is back peddling on her bad behavior but who cares? Deeo down she is insincere and not a good friend to anyone other than her sister, and even then not so much.

Brandi talks about her divorce, and then tells Kyle she wants to plan a party for the girls with a porn star come and teach the ladies to orally pleasure their partners. Dear Lord are they for real?  Who does that?  The skank level is very high in both BH and ATL this week.

Adrienne is having a fashion show and party as her house for her new imitation show line.  She is talking to the party planner and is it just me or is Adrienne wearing Mom jeans?  They are high and wide, and like all of her wardrobe, out of date by a couple of decades.  Such a shame.

Adrienne is getting ready and we find out she has a stylist.  Really?  He better start clarifying that he only works with her for parties, because if he is putting out her day clothes, he will never get another client.  Adrienne clearly is a member of the Kardashian Too Much Makeup Club.

Taylor is in the car with Russell and again I am skipping over it. It is wrong on so many levels that he is on this show, while Taylor tries to ruin his reputation.  I know it’s been said before, but does Bravo not feel any moral obligation to his children?  Clearly they are of no concern to them.

Sidebar:  Taylor’s dress is perfect, Kyle’s dress is embarrassing.  Lisa’s dress is too small.  Brandi’s dress is fine.  Camille’s dress is divine.  Kim is a no show. Dana is non-existent and clearly has no real place on this show.  She seems fun but it’s just not translating to the screen.

Lisa arrives and within a minute of walking through the front door, Adrienne pulls her aside and tells her she is pissed off that the bachelorette party for Pandora is at Planet Hollywood not The Palms.  I am finding it hard to deal with Adrienne.  She is a baby and needs to grow up.

Camille is my current favorite Beverly Hills housewife. That means nothing really since liking this show is bound to make you crazy and indecisive.  I change my mind each week with who I like but for a while Camille has been on top and Klye Has been on the bottom. 

The fashion show stars and Adrienne stumbles through her speech.  It was as if she did not know what the organization she was supporting did.  The fashion show happens, but Adrienne’s shoes are hidden under the gowns and the show is an epic fail if you ask me.  Where are the shoes?

I watched the entire hour waiting to be entertained, but nothing.  Then, just as I’m about to shut off the TV, there is the preview for next week and we see that Taylor is going to be drunk.  That my friends will be worth the price of admission.  Sadly, we all know that will be good.

I can honestly recall when I used to watch these shows and think the women were great.  Now I just think they are pathetic, with a smidge of entertaining thrown in on rare occasions.  At the end of the day they are a train wreck and nothing about this show is keeping it real.

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