Posted by Ilana Angel
We are finally at the place we have all been waiting for, the final episode of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. This has been a dark and depressing season. By dark and depressing of course I mean Bravo decided to be disrespectful by having loyal viewers watch two women, one a liar and one an addict, crawl their way through crap. It is fitting that my final blog of the season be balls to the wall. Buckle up people.
Before I address the show, I want to clarify a few of things. It is my opinion that:
Adrienne is useless on this show.
Brandi is a star and what this show needs.
Camille has paid her dues and come out golden.
Dana is even more useless than Adrienne.
Kim never should have been on this show.
Kyle is a bitch and a twat.
Lisa is too good for these skanks.
Taylor is a pathological liar.
Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about the final episode of the reunion, and the end of the season. Andy is still talking to Taylor about her stupid book of lies. I know people are sensitive about abuse, but I feel quite comfortable saying that I do not believe Taylor’s claims about Russell. She is rehearsed, sounds fake, and he is not here to defend himself. I feel sick for his kids that she is doing this to their dad.
Taylor is talking about a time when she was with friends, and they were witness to his abuse. He apparently knocked out the friend and tried to drown her. When he almost killed her, the friend miraculously came to, and had $10K worth of plastic surgery. Is she high? Come on Taylor. It’s not true and with all the people who are questioning you, just get the friend to come forward, and confirm what you are claiming.
We are supposed to believe he dislocated her jaw and she snapped it back in over the toilet? Seriously, I’m not buying it. Sorry. Brandi is not having it either, says she thinks it’s horrible for Taylor to talk about it all when he cannot defend himself, and Taylor looks at her with a glazed look of “You can’t get me off my script”. I cannot listen to her spew her crapfest any longer so I am moving on from this horrific bitch.
Dana comes on to talk and seriously I could care less. I thought she as useless on the show and she is forgettable now. She is desperate to be famous but she is not appealing and her fiance is a schmuck. This chick is a whack job and with all the money she has, couldn’t she get better extensions? I’ve interviewed her and she was sweet, but that does not translate here. I’m skipping over her so I don’t fall asleep.
Mauricio, Ken, and Paul join the ladies and while nothing they are saying is even remotely interesting, there was some interesting things of note. Adrienne looks at Paul with palpable disgust and I find it unnerving. Ken is darling and he and Lisa are very cute. Mauricio is handsome to be sure, but his wife is disgusting so what does that say about him? Kyle we love your husband, but even he can’t change how we see you.
Kim comes on to talk about her experience and here’s the thing, it was heartbreaking. This woman, who we all grew up loving, is a mess and that she is on this show is horrific. Kyle brought her on the show, knowing she was an addict, which speaks volumes about who Kyle is as a sister and a human being. I think the best thing Kim can do for herself is stay off of this show and away from her mean spirited and selfish sister.
I am of the belief that Kim was high for this interview. She was speaking slowly and slurred, was aware, but out of it, and it made me sad. I wish this woman well and will keep her in my prayers. I think the question is not whether or not Kim will return to the show next season, but if she will be alive next season. This is a tragedy waiting to unfold and God willing we will not be reading about her overdosing alone somewhere.
Kim has avoided watching the show all season as it’s too had for her, yet Andy tells her he has it if she wants to watch it. She just got out of rehab, is clearly still struggling, and he offers up her humiliation on a silver platter? Andy Cohen is a whore and this was disgusting. I love Andy but this was a massive lapse of judgment and he should have respected Kim enough to leave her alone. You are Jackhole of the week Andy.
Kyle joins Kim and Andy and it’s repulsive. Kyle makes me want to hurl. She cannot allow her sister to have any success without hanging onto it. Kyle Richards is happy when her sister fails so she can look better. Kyle saying that she does not regret having her sister on the show, when she sees what the pressure did to her, tells me that Kyle cares about Kyle. She is her sister’s biggest enemy and it’s too bad.
This final hour of the show was just too much. Why did Kim have her purse? To hold her drugs. Why was Kyle there with Kim? Because she cannot stand the attention being on anyone but her? This year was horrible, with the only good thing being the introduction of Brand Glanville. Brandi, Camille and Lisa are the beginnings of a good show. If they dump Kyle and Adrienne, and keep Kim, they will have gold. Come on Bravo. Stop being douchelords, and start keeping it real.
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
11.25.13 at 11:14 pm | They started off strong, but tonight tanked.
11.25.13 at 9:02 pm | Some of this episode was uncomfortable to watch.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (3540)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (2877)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (2081)
February 13, 2012 | 9:09 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
These episodes in Africa have proven two things to the world. One: Africa is glorious and everyone should visit if they are given the opportunity, and two: these women are embarrassing and should not be allowed to travel. If I lived in Atlanta I would be mortified that these women are what is representing my city. These chicks are a mess.
Before we get started, I’d like to address Bravo for a minute. Really Bravo? Why is there so much recapping? You don’t need three weeks of shows in Africa if it’s all recapping and barely two episodes of original footage. It’s annoying that we watch, are loyal, and you recap things excessively as if we are morons and can’t remember what we’ve seen already.
The talls go out for dinner on their own, then head to a club. The smalls leave their party and head over to meet them. Sheree is confused by why Marlo was so upset about not being included, and Marlo is acting like a fool. The smalls arrive at the club, Marlo hugs Phaedra and Kandi, then flips the bird to Sheree. Marlo is ridiculous which in this group is pathetic.
Marlo is throwing cash around, clearly in an attempt to prove to Sheree she has more money than her, so Kandi and Phaedra start picking up the money and putting it in their clothes. Phaedra is hilarious and says she needs new shoes, Pampers, and souvenirs. Phaedra cracks me up and it’s sweet she is thinking about her baby and husband back home.
In the car ride home from the club NeNe needs potato ships, or soup, which I thought was funny. It’s a clear division of smalls and talls although Phaedra and Kandi are being nice in the group. Marlo lets us know her sugar daddy was sixty not eighty, and she loved it. I think Marlo is pretty, but she strikes me as very manly and I’m curious about her men.
The ladies get to their safari location, Shamwari Game Reserve, which is fantastic. They meet the staff and hear about the amenities. Everyone is asking about the gym, the spa, and then Marlo wants to know about hair and makeup. She is told they don’t have it, so asks them to bring someone in. Really? Why does Marlo need to many female touchups? Hmmm.
They are getting a tour of the rooms and there are four fabulous rooms and two more old fashioned rooms. They put al the names in a bowl and draw for beds. The two less fabulous rooms, which for the record are fabulous, go to Marlo and NeNe. The smalls are gloating a little that they scored the “better” locations on their FREE TRIP TO AFRICA. Losers.
Africa is beautiful and it’s sad to me that these women get a free ride to paradise when they don’t seem to appreciate it at all. Phaedra, Sheree, Kandi and Cynthia are at breakfast, waiting for Marlo and Nene who are getting hair and makeup done to go on a Safari. They are dressed to the nines and wearing 6 inch heels which is offensive.
Marlo is decked in designer fabulous from head to toe and thinks she “looks Safari”. Too funny. The smalls are certain Marlo is going to push Cynthia out of her bond with NeNe, and Marlo is a pretentious ass and embarrassing herself. NeNe gets flowers from creepy Italian guy John, and it’s weird. I love NeNe but she needs someone less odd.
The smalls are making fun of Marlo, and then when they get the cars to go, there is clearly room for all of them to go in one car, but they are told they are going in two cars, which is stupid, and bad forced drama from Bravo. Putting them all together would have been better in the long run over the one second of drama in separating them.
NeNe mentions they can all fit together but the split happens quickly and the safari is on. Marlo will not stop talking, she tells the driver to shoot animals in the head, and complains that the roads need to be paved because it’s too bumpy. I love the tour guids and feel the need to write them and say sorry. NeNe is freaking out at the site of a turtle.
The smalls come across giraffes and instead of taking in the awe of it all, they are making fun of Nene and Marlo. They come across elephant dung, which to me would be exciting that they are close by, and the girls are asking what size an elephants ass is that he can make such a big poop. Really? These chicks are a nightmare and I am embarrassed for them.
They see zebras and Marlo let’s us know she has a zebra rug in her home and I am just grossed out by her. The ladies are on a search for a tiger and when they hear there are no tigers in Africa, only lions, they are shocked. These girls are dumb and I want to slap them upside the head and tell them to grow up and appreciate where they are lucky enough to be.
The ladies go to a school and an orphanage, and it’s heartbreaking to me. The kids are really beautiful and it seems off to me that they are brought out for a little show. Phaedra says buying them supplies and treats is the right thing to do, which I agree, but it’s the visit that I find troubling. Is it not sad for these kids to see people coming in and out of their lives?
If I were waiting for a family, I don’t know that foreigners coming in and out would make me happy. I’m not an expert, and it’s just my opinion, but I suggest you read these articles by Tamara Tattles and Black Girl Travel. They take a look inside the business of visiting orphanages in Africa and show what this trip could have, and should have been.
The ladies in the car passing out things to the children on the side of the road is very upsetting to me. I’m not sure why I was so offended, but it made me cry and I find myself angry at Bravo for not using these episodes as an opportunity to raise money for these people. Put a number on the screen to help them instead of showing these fools crying.
The ladies take a picture with a class of young kids and you know they are going to show the pictures around Atlanta and talk about how it changed their lives when you know it didn’t. It was disrespectful to me, and while I was not there, it was edited in a way that was just not cool. Nice they bought so much stuff, but where is the big picture? Sorry if that offends.
Next week is the final week of Africa and it will be full of ungrateful and entitled women prancing around making fools out of themselves, with a guest appearance by Kim. This show is getting on my nerves and this week left me very unsatisfied. I’ll be back next week of course, but I imagine it will be another hour of nobody really keeping it real.
February 10, 2012 | 3:25 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I love ABC’s Shark Tank. It is fun, smart and thoroughly entertaining. The idea of watching the American dream come true for someone is exhilarating, and truth be told, I happen to think Kevin O’Leary is one of the sexiest men on television. I dig his bald head and wicked sense of humor. The American dream is a beautiful thing, but this man is divine.
I like all the sharks actually. They fit together well and balance each other out. This is reality television at its best and I look forward to it each week. When people have mortgaged their homes and sacrificed everything for something they believe in and are passionate about, I get invested and excited for them when the sharks bite, and crushed for them when they don’t.
If you are not watching this show I suggest you give it a look. Watch one time and I guarantee you will be hooked. This week marks the debut of a new shark when they welcome Lori Greiner to the Shark Tank. I spoke with Lori recently about her new gig and I must tell you, I really liked her. She was sincere and humble, and while super sweet, there is a shark in her.
Lori Greiner knows what will make money. She is the Queen of QVC with over 350 products. She turned her idea for a jewelry box into a multi-million dollar company. She may be petite and pageant pretty, but this chick knows her stuff. She is business minded to be sure, but in talking to her you quickly see that at her core she is decent, and wants to help people succeed.
She told me the greatest joy in achieving the American dream is to be able to help others do the same thing. She owns 110 patents which is crazy. That alone is impressive, but factor in that she is a multi-millionaire, and she rocks. We’re not talking about a women who invents things in her basement and has a stack of rejection letters. Lori Greiner is the big league.
Lori lives in Chicago with her husband, who works with her. She is educated, artistic, and a visionary. Her first big hit was an earring organizer, and to hear her tell the story of how it came to be is fascinating. From the inception of the idea, to the development, and countless prototypes, I would have given up, but she is tenacious in her goals and she fought hard to make it perfect.
She is driven, focused, and not intimidated by a challenge. She is also a perfectionist and will not sell anything not up to her standards, which are high. She does not give up and is keenly aware of what it means to have an entrepreneurial spirit. She will be looking for those people on Shark Tank. It’s not enough to have a good idea, you need to believe in your product and yourself.
Lori is looking for people with “gumption”, which I love. That is a good word. She wants people to be careful, proceed with caution, and license their ideas. Don’t be intimidated, be confident, and trust their instincts. If I were going on Shark Tank I would want Lori as my shark because she cares. She’s there to help people, which trumps the money, which is not very shark like.
She’s there to make money for sure, but she wants to walk next to someone on their journey, not shove them aside and take over. She is supportive, and while I have not seen her first episode yet, she was kind and supportive of me during our interview. She laughs easily, and has a girlfriend vibe to her. I liked her and even more importantly, trusted her, which I think is rare.
Lori told me she is not only looking at the products but at the people. She wants to build relationships with the contestants because she will be in business with them, and relationships matter. She is picking wisely in terms of those she wants to take under her wing. She’s no push over. She truly wants to help and has a soft spot for people who are trying so hard to make it.
In terms of the other sharks, Lori says Damon and Kevin are very funny, Robert is incredibly kind, and Mark is brilliant. I love the sharks and think they are all fabulous so it will be interesting to see how Lori fits into a group that works so well together. Robert is the one I would want to be friends with, and Kevin is the one I want to have dinner with. Call me Kevin.
I asked Lori to tell me three words that best described her and she chose smart, kind and driven. She describes herself as a caring person who thinks people matter most. I suppose some may think that sounds made up for TV, and we’ll see how she is tonight, but in the 30 minutes I spoke with her, I can tell you that she is smart, quick, charming and very, very warm.
At some point I simply stopped taking notes and listened to her as if we were hanging out and having a coffee together. Great for me because I loved it, not so great for this article because my notes are a little light. This is the type of woman that one is perhaps intimidated by because she is smart, wealthy and takes no crap, but she’s also very sweet and invested in people.
She has made a lot of money. A lot. That is not her motivation though. The thrill of success drives her, but the success does not need to be hers. She has been helping people long before she found her way to Shark Tank, so it makes sense they have added her on. I love Barbara and so I was a new woman in the shark tank, but Lori has won me over. She is inspiring.
This is a self-made woman who loves her family, her employees, and her work. She is there to help others achieve her same success and I think we will all be cheering her on tonight. This article could prove to not match what we see tonight, but I don’t think that will be the case. Lori Greiner is the real thing, and tonight on Shark Tank we are going to love how she is keeping it real.
February 7, 2012 | 9:13 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I cannot get enough of this train wreck. It truly is fascinating that we all watch this show, especially with a guy like Ben. There is nothing appealing about him, in fact, there are many unappealing things about him. He is not the same person we saw fall in love with Ashley so I wonder what he is really like because he appears to have a lot of different personalities.
The first date of the night is a one on one with Kacie B, which pisses off the others because they have already spent so much time together. Courtney immediately starts being a snake, but I like Kacie B. The problem is that she is a little boring. She is sweet and lovely but I’m guessing has no private freak number and is rather monotone is every part of life.
They are on a deserted island getting all Survivor and I think it’s funny when Kacie B goes on and on about how they are alone. Really? Just Ben and her and an entire film crew, along with craft services. Kacie B is adorable but her laugh is forced. They are both pontificating about how this date is proof they will have a successful relationship and I need wine.
They leave the island and go for a romantic dinner. With just them, and the crew. Kacie B is plain. She should marry the high school football coach in a small town, have a couple of kids and get a mini van. Watching Ben trying to get deep into conversation with her is painful. She has been a favorite of mine from the start but I just don’t see this happening.
Back at the hotel, the girls find out there is a group date, and the dreaded two on one is going to Blakeley and Rachel. Blakeley is thrilled and Rachel is sick to her stomach, which is odd because Blakely is the one that makes me sick to my stomach. Speaking if sick to your stomach, back at dinner Kacie B is telling Ben she was bulimic and anorexic as a teenager. Oy.
Talking about her eating disorder is clearly difficult and so good for her, but talk about dumping a load on a date and sucking the joy out of it. Blech. Ben is not that connected to her, but he gives her the rose because you can’t dump a girl after she shares a story like that. Kacie B buys herself clear passage through the Panama Canal rose ceremony.
It’s group date time and they are going to a remote village to meet with the natives, get dressed up in their garb, and dance. Courtney is on the group date so you know there will be a healthy dose of skank being served. The dates in Panama are really amazing, but wasted on this bunch because who cares about anyone on this season? Nobody.
Nicki tells us they “stumbled upon” a village which has be cracking up. They have set up an entire film set, but they stumbled upon it! The girls get dressed by the local women and everyone keeps their bathing suit on except for Courtney McWhorerson. Courtney goes topless and the other girls are over her, but Ben and his canoe will be thrilled.
They are all dressed, and painting each other with tattoos, so Courtney marks Ben as hers and it’s lame. Courtney is prancing around with full frontal while the other girls look on like she is a whore. Making it even more entertaining is that Ben is following her around like a puppy. Ben is all about his canoe, not finding love today. Courtney is dirty.
Lindzi and Ben have some time together and she is funny. I like her this week and last week could have cared less about her. In the end he digs her, she is handling it well, and it’s funny when she tells Ben that he’s her boyfriend. Ben is making me nuts tonight. Everything he does and says is bothering me. He is a nail on a chalkboard today.
Courtney is off with Ben and he is enamored with her. It’s purely sexual and they have nothing to talk about. She invites him to her room to lie down and be quiet for 15 minutes. Translation: I will blow you if you come over because these chicks are lame and I’m the only into being famous so much that I can be a complete whore in order to get your attention.
Jaime is talking to Ben and it’s very, very sad. She is trying to open up to him and Courtney comes over in her bikini and starts dancing around in his view and I am rolling. He does not hear a thing she is saying and is into Courtney. Jamie is going home today. No need for desperate measures. Don’t do anything stupid Jamie. Just go home quietly.
Emily is off with Ben and she is cute. She’s a little quirky and I dig her this week where I have not really gotten her until now. She spent a lot of time focused on Courtney and seems to have let it go. She’s weird, but cute. Bless her heart, she tries to make up with Courtney for being so mean to her, then Courtney eats her alive and blows off her apology.
Ben gives the one rose of the night to Lindzi which is a good move. Courtney is sad Ben never came to her room to make out and she is crying to us and saying she is constantly disappointed by men. She is sad that men don’t treat her well? She acts like she is garbage so they treat her like garbage. She is lame and that she is still here is ridiculous.
Rachel and Blakeley go on their date and they are salsa dancing. Rachel is worried and Blakeley is freakishly excited and painfully delusional. I don’t think he is into either one of them that much so who cares? Blakeley is throwing herself at him and Rachel is a little bland so I think I can safely skip over this date to the end because I’m bored.
As I’m skipping over the date, I see Blakeley has made a scrapbook for Ben about their journey together. Dear Lord. This chick is ready to boil a bunny on the stove. She is imploding and watching it is uncomfortable. He should have sent both home but in the end sends Blakeley and she is distraught because he was her soul mate. Hahaha.
Blakeley tries to be a bitch and storm off, then realizes it will ruin her chances of getting asked to the Bachelor Pad so she cries and tries to be sweet. Meanwhile, nice and quiet Rachel is a total bitch about Blakeley and needs to chill because she is going home next week. Rachel is a piece of toast. No jam. No butter, no cheese, just plain toast.
The producers decide to finally give Chris Harrison something to do! He comes in and takes Kacie S. out for a chat. He tells her that he knows she has a boyfriend back home. Its sad because she is clearly in love with her ex and her ex has gone out of his way to screw this up for her. She was never going to win, but to go out like this is a total drag.
It’s all really sad. She is Paris Hilton pretty, and seems sweet. She came to try to get over him which I get, but it was never going to happen. She was not going to get over him and Ben was never going to pick her. Chris tells her she needs to talk to Ben about it and takes her off to explain to Ben that she just got out of a relationship. I am sad for this girl.
It comes out that she is in love with her ex and it’s cruel to make her do this on the show. She loved a man who didn’t love her back, went to find new love, and she is embarrassed publically for it. She does a lovely job of explaining it to Ben and he is a complete asshole. He is not compassionate or kind, simply tells her she should go. Ben is a schmuck.
Kacie S is sent home in tears with Ben being a complete douche. She is an ugly crier which adds insult to injury. Kacie S is broken, Eli Manning is going to Disneyland, Nicki talks like a Kardashian, Chris Harrison is paid for nothing, Ben is driving me to drink, and Jamie is about to embarrass herself on a scale so epic I don’t know how she will recover.
Jamie is telling us she is shy and a prude, then mounts Ben in an attempt to be aggressive and sexy. I want to crawl out of my own skin. I cannot stop laughing. She is talking in gibberish, making so sense, trying to be flirty, but being ridiculous. The kiss is offensive, the mounting is laughable, and poor Ben is doing his best to not laugh in her face.
Ben feels nothing for this girl but still goes for the make out session. She is laughing throughout it all and then tells him that she was disappointed in her kiss which is hilarious. Jamie is going home. She is a hot mess. She should just say she is not felling well and slink off into the night instead of suffering through the rose ceremony she is not winning.
Her kissing lesson almost made me vomit on myself. Poor girl. After her miserable attempt at sexy he says “Thanks Jaime”. I will be laughing about this for a long time and will keep this episode just so I can watch it over and over again. Jamie is sent home and next week we go to Belize. It’s the last stop before hometown dates so the end is near!
I have not invested in the season because I don’t care about Ben or any of these girls. Plus, the fact that we know Emily Maynard is the new Bachelorette and none of these castoffs have a shot, makes it boring. I watch with hope it will happen, but when we don’t care, it just becomes comedy. So from that perspective, the show is keeping it real.
February 6, 2012 | 10:47 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I watched the reunion this week like a fan. I sat on the couch with my cat, had a glass of wine, and enjoyed the show. I thought it was interesting and entertaining. That said, I also found it to be a great big serving of steaming hot crap. If I didn’t pick sides before I watched, I certainly have now.
Brandi has joined in with the ladies this week and Andy jumps right in. Brandy is a hoot and if it were not for her many of us would not be watching this crap fest. Brandi is the young, beautiful, single one so there is clearly a lot of jealousy from those without strong marriages.
Adrienne and Kyle are focused on being mean to her, which makes me think maybe there is not a lot of hanky panky going on in their marriages. Lisa and Ken are perfection so she could care less. Taylor swallows men whole so who cares about her, and Camille is in love so she’s cool..
Kyle is just mean and Adrienne’s face is pulled so tight I don’t take anything she says seriously. I’m not sure why we need to talk about Brandi’s bikini for so long. She has a rocking body, move on. Jealousy makes women mean. Instead of hating on Brandi, Kyle should worry about herself.
Andy asks Kyle why she was so mean to Brandi when she came on and Kyle says she was defensive and had her guard up towards the new girl. Not buying it. Klye was mean to Brandi because she is mean. She is bitchy and catty and not a nice girl. Any other explanation is lame.
Kyle tells us she knows she was mean and ridiculous but I’m not buying that either. Kyle is doing damage control but it’s too late. Brandi saying she was going to kill Kyle was about as serious as Russell telling Camille he was going to sue her. Funny what these chicks choose to hang on to.
Brandi is sorry things got out of hand, but she‘s not sorry she said Kim was using something because clearly she was. Kyle is annoyed Brandi said meth when it was not Kim’s issue, but lets get real, Kim was doing more than drinking. Kim is, in my opinion, an alcoholic and drug user.
Brandi calls Kim and Kyle out for being bullies, but is gracious in forgiving them, but then Taylor jumps in. Important for Taylor to understand that we do not care to hear anything she says. Taylor is sticking up for Kyle while Kyle sits there saying nothing, which implies she was lying.
Kyle is annoyed people are blaming her for Kim hiding Brandi’s crutches, but it was as much Kyle as Kim. Kyle knew where the crutches were and never said anything. She could have helped Brandi and told Kim she didn’t because Kim was wasted and wouldn’t remember.
We are twelve minutes in and I’m not into blogging about it anymore. Kyle is horrible, Adrienne is ridiculous, and Taylor is a pathological liar. Another 45 minutes might be too much for me. A reader told me today I was too negative. Hard to not be when watching this garbage!
We learn Brandi uses cuss words more than anyone else, and Camille and Adrienne the least. It’s a stupid segment and the only thing that came out of it was I noticed how fake Kyle’s laugh is. She sounds like a chicken. We also see the tension between Adrienne and Lisa.
Adrienne is not missing any opportunity to be mean to Lisa and Lisa seems a little worn out by it. Andy’s questions are stupid this week and not nearly as good as past reunions. Kyle thinks Brandi is slutty, but I think doing the splits on a table at a party is whorish so who cares?
Brandi is being Brandi and the others are all grimacing at her crassness, but we know they are just as crass. The Pollyanna routine is not working. Kyle can get in the gutter with Brandi and we all know it. I like the gutter and think Kyle is silly for not owning the gutter.
Kyle is telling us the difference between slutty and sexy. Really? Is there a chapter about that in her book? How did this woman even get a book deal? I have watched Kyle hang onto the coattails of her sister and nieces for years and she should have written a book about that instead.
Taylor let’s us know that no British people live in Oklahoma, which is why she did not understand Lisa’s humor. Lisa is talking about wanting to help Taylor, and the other ladies think it’s weird that Lisa and Taylor became friendly so quickly. These chicks are really immature.
Are we like this with our friends? I don’t think so. Taylor is talking about how mean Lisa’s dog is on Twitter. Is she serious? Taylor is mad because of a dog’s Twitter? Brandi comments on it and Taylor lashes out that she is not talking to her. Taylor is a loose cannon.
Important to note that if Andy Cohen does not make Brandi a full time housewife he has lost his mind. Well he lost his mind when he put this pathetic season on the air so it won’t be lloosing his mind as much as proving he is a complete moron who is out of touch with the audience.
We’re at minute 24 and I have put down the wine and poured a cocktail. Adrienne’s face is not moving, she’s talking, but it’s not moving. Adrienne is mad Brandi told Lisa she spoke about her behind her back. She does not deny it, but is annoyed Brandi told her. Adrienne is cranky.
Camille calls Taylor a liar, while Kyle wants us to believe she does not want drama in her life. Really? Brandi is calling Adrienne out on her crap, then Lisa calls Adrienne out too, and Adrienne just sits there licking her lips and looking like a fool. Adrienne brings nothing to this show.
Camille calls Taylor out on her lies, and Kyle hides behind her problems with Kim as a way to deflect everything off of her. Brandi tells us she spoke with Russell and Taylor says she is a liar. I am with Brandi on this. I feel, in my heart, that Taylor is lying about Russell. It’s tragic.
Brandi says what all of the world is thinking, and I have written about for months. Why is she writing a book trashing Russell when his body is not cold? Taylor could have waited to write her book. She could have talked about her childhood and marriage without mentioning Russell.
What she has done is chronicle the story of a monster for her child. Taylor is an opportunist and I believe part of the reason Russell took his own life was because of her lying. She is screaming that Russell was a master manipulator so clearly she learned a few things from him.
Taylor calls out Brandi for “slashing” her ex-husband’s tires, Brandi admits it and Taylor seems to think it paints Brandi in a bad light. What it does is show she is human and was a woman with a broken heart. She slashed tires. Taylor wrote a book of lies. Everyone is different.
Sidebar: Bravo keeps showing commercials for Bethenny Frankel’s show and how they were lost at sea with a broken GPS. IT”S ALL A LIE. I spoke with the captain of her “rescue boat” and the United States Coast Guard, and the GPS was not broken. It was all made up for her show.
Brandi is disgusted with Taylor’s book, Kyle says Brandi needs to have compassion for Taylor because her husband died, and Brandi is clearly trying to control herself from getting up off the couch like our beloved Teresa, and smacking the crap out of Kyle. I dig Brandi.
Kyle can try to back peddle from her behavior all season but it’s too late. She is horrible. We have seen her true self and we don’t like it. We’re not dumb Kyle. Kyle is a fame whore. A lot of reality fans read my blog and many did not read her book because of this season.
Kyle wants us to think she thought the show would be good for Kim. Seriously? How is the pressure of a reality show a good idea for an addict? Kyle is selfish, has no connection to her sister, and is incapable of having meaningful relationships with women.
Important to note that my opinions of this show are based on this show. I do not know these women and this blog is show specific. I am writing about the characters I am shown by Bravo. That said, the reunion is the real them, and my opinions are not changing. Just saying.
Kyle then tells us that as viewers, we are not allowed to have opinions because we don’t see everything. Really? Kyle is a bitch and she is now calling us out. She has a job because we watch and she is going to throw us under the bus? Not only is she mean, but she is ungrateful.
There is now a long segment on Camille and because I’m losing my patience with this show I will simply say I love her, am happy for her and her new boyfriend, and think Kelsey Grammer is a cheating pig. Just because Camille changed how we view her does not mean Kyle can.
Andy is going on and on about Camille making a calculated move to make her herself look better this season and I think calculated is the wrong word. She made a conscious effort to behave in a positive and fun way. It was not calculated, which implies fake. It was conscious.
Andy asked Taylor if her lips have gotten smaller and she says no. My theory is that she lies so much her nose is growing, which makes her lips look smaller. Just a thought. Then Andy brings up Taylor’s book and she tells us she wrote it to help women with low self-esteem.
She tells us Russell abused her every 6 weeks for the last 5 years. She sounds like she is quoting a self help book. She has been lying for so long she is believing her own lies. I am not saying there was not bad stuff happening in her home, but I don’t buy all the stories.
Kyle and Adrienne talking about the book and Taylor makes me sick. Taylor is going out of her way to slander this man and seems to forget that he has children, one of which is her child. She has painted a horrible picture for this little girl and it’s so sad to me. What is she thinking?
She says Russell was perhaps killed rather than killing himself, and smiles coyly at Andy. This woman is not well and is putting her selfish needs in front of the well being of her child. Next week looks like another sack of crap as we watch Kyle make Kim’s issues all about her.
This season has been hard and I am thrilled there is only one week left. Andy Cohen and Bravo need to really think about this show and how to bring them all back. I will say now, with complete conviction and truth, that if Brandi is not there to give us some fun I’m out. Just keeping it real.
February 2, 2012 | 8:29 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Let me begin with a formal apology to the people of South Africa. I am very sorry we sent these women to your beautiful country. They are not the best examples of what ladies of the south are like. Please forgive us and do not ban Americans from visiting. Thank you.
After a sixteen hour flight the women arrive in Cape Town. Phaedra is concerned for the ladies who do not have as much cosmopolitan travel experience, while Marlo is over packed with both luggage and testosterone. NeNe has enough luggage for 2 months and they will be there for 8 days.
Speaking of NeNe, I just want to say she rocks on Glee. She is killer as the swim coach and I cannot wait to see her back on next week. NeNe is fantastic. I predict she will be the only one to transcend the housewives and become a real star.
On the bus ride to the hotel Marlo will not stop talking. She has a lot of opinions and demands for a woman who was not even invited on the trip. She is quizzing the women on etiquette, which is just weird. Sheree is hilarious and wonders if Emily Post has written about aggravated assault.
They arrive at their accommodations and it’s really beautiful. I need to go to Africa. As long as I’m not from Atlanta, they should let me in. They are trying to figure out where everyone will sleep and Sheree says she will bunk with NeNe, which was hilarious and broke the ice a little bit.
Marlo is looking to take the best room and Cynthia is not having it. Marlo then talks to the concierge and says she wants keys and to know who the housekeepers are. She also wants to know if they leave early. Translation: she thinks they are going to steal her stuff. Whatever.
The girls have met up for breakfast. Kandi is being snarky, Marlo is giving etiquette tips, and Cynthia is knocking Phaedra’s robe. She thinks it’s funny Phaedra travels with kings but wears a cheap robe. Really? You could not pay for your wedding and you’re calling out the robe?
Phaedra gives all the ladies an engraved gift as a memento, and Marlo is annoyed she did not get one. Hello? You weren’t invited Sweetie. Speaking of invited, Sheree’s friend is having a dinner party and she does not invite Nene, Cynthia or Marlo, just Phaedra and Kandi.
Did anyone notice that Marlo had her robe on inside out and wore 5 inch heels to breakfast? NeNe is annoyed the talls were snubbed for the dinner party and let’s be clear, it was really crappy of Sheree. Nene wouldn’t have gone so extend the invitation. Sheree looks like/is a bitch.
For reasons I don’t quite get, our trip to Africa is interrupted by Kim, and her parents coming over for dinner. I’m skipping over it because we will see the same thing on Kim’s new show. I’m over Kim and her boobs and her complaining, so I’m sticking to Africa this week. Bye Kim.
The ladies are going a cruise on a fabulous yacht and Sheree tells us it’s a yacht ride. She’s fancy. Cynthia brings up she was not invited to the party and you have to wonder exactly how dumb Cynthia is. She’s like a little kid in the middle of grown women. Not too bright that one.
The girls are on a sunset cruise and they all go down below and miss the sunset. Such a waste. Cynthia is surprised by the changes in South Africa since she was there 25 years ago. Is she for real? Does she read the newspapers? Can she read? Does she own a television?
The bickering begins. Marlo and Kandi have a little moment while NeNe is asking Phaedra why she has a problem with her, which Phaedra denies. Marlo brings up the tension between NeNe and Sheree, but in the end she needs to mind her own business because they are not ready.
Kandi, Phaedra and Sheree are getting ready to go to the party, while Cynthia, Marlo and NeNe are being left at home. It’s the smalls against the talls. Cynthia comes in and she is clearly a tall! She tells the girls to join them after their party. Sheree tells Cynthia she is the only tall invited.
Cynthia runs to NeNe and tells her and Marlo that she was invited to Sheree’s party, but Marlo and NeNe are still not. NeNe could care less, but now Marlo is aggravated she was not invited so she stomps over to confront Sheree who tells her she can come if she wants to.
Then it gets funny! Sheree reminds Marlo that they did not know she was coming. Marlo is confused, Sheree is being calm, and then Marlo let’s Sheree know she is single because she hangs out with *insert gay slur here. Marlo is losing her mind and Sheree is the best fighter ever.
I love when Sheree fights. She does not get scared, does not back down, and does not yell. She just speaks her mind and I love it. I need to channel me some Sheree. Marlo is telling Sheree she is broke and Sheree is telling Marlo she is a whore. Well I think that’s what‘s happening.
I cannot understand a single thing they are saying. Even the producers don’t know because the subtitles make no sense either. It’s a Gibberish battle and I can’t stop laughing. NeNe is trying to stop the fight and everyone else is in shock about what is going down. It. Is. Fantastic.
Sheree and Marlo are trashing each other. Marlo offers to loan Sheree money, Sheree makes fun of Marlo for dating a white man, Marlo is knocking Sheree for not taking care of her kids, and accuses her of not liking white people. It is freaking awesome.
We then get 5 minutes of insane yelling, making faces, and Disney voices. I cannot stop laughing. The best part of this episode is that it’s just the beginning and we’ve got a lot more Africa to go. These chicks are more aggressive than animals on a safari. That is keeping it real!
January 31, 2012 | 9:08 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
I joke a lot about needing to have a glass of wine to be able to sit through these reality shows, and for the most part that is true. A nice glass of red makes the show more enjoyable. The problem is that with every uncomfortable moment, I tend to sip which means I am sloshed by the end. For The Bachelor, the best worst show on television, I have now moved on to margaritas because wine is just not cutting it. These chicks are crazy.
I have gone back and forth on Ben, but in the end I just can’t get into him. His hair is horrible, his delayed speech is annoying, and the shots of him in deep thought about the women makes me want to scream. By scream of course I mean sip, so after only five minutes in, it’s going to be a long night. Chris is there to explain nothing and I am surprised every week and every year that this man still has this job. He really is not needed.
Nicki gets the first one on one date, which is odd because they don’t have chemistry, plus he is not going to pick the divorced girl. Courtney is the bitch/whore of this season and it’s getting a little boring already. She keeps trying to be confrontational so her 15 minutes can extend, but she’s just not that interesting, not that pretty, makes weird shapes with her mouth, and always has wine so clearly she needs to sip just to listen to herself.
Nicki is very sweet but annoying. She has a little whine to her voice and her yellow nail polish is hideous. They are walking around and it starts to pour rain. In the downpour, with Ben in flip flops and her in high wedges, he grabs her hand and runs through the street. I am not ashamed to say that part of me was hoping they would slip and fall. It would have been sad certainly, but gold in terms of reality television.
She takes her shoes off and starts to walk around barefoot on the streets. Not appealing to me. They go into a shop and buy new outfits, then when walking around he starts to give her the history of the buildings and it’s so dumb. Like he knew anything about the building. This show gives me a headache and each week I wonder why I am watching it, then I sip my margarita and it all becomes very clear. I watch to drink.
The producers find a wedding on the town calendar, then make him give the on-on-one to the only divorced girl there, then make her sit outside the wedding and remember that it was once her and maybe can be again. It’s all so fake and calculated but somehow it works. By works of course I mean this show does not work. Love will not be found and part of the enjoyment is knowing that. We are told that Emily Maynard is the new Bachelorette.
I really like Emily and think she will be a great Bachelorette, but I’m not sure how well she will translate to being the star. She is clearly the most beautiful woman ever to be on this show, but she is guarded and moves painfully slow, so it might just be boring. Watching 25 men scramble and stumble around will be fun, but I’m not seeing it work for her either. I wonder what her kid thinks about it and how involved she’ll be.
I’m not really listening to the divorce conversation because I don’t really care. Back at the house everyone is going on a group date, except for Elyse who is getting the one-on-one. Blakeley is complaining, Courtney is complaining, and between these two I want to throw stuff at my television. Nicki is begging for a chance and it’s gross. She’s divorced, we don’t care, they have absolutely no chemistry but she gets a rose.
The group date is a baseball game. The ladies will be split into two teams and play against each other. Some are really good, some are hilarious. The best part is when they put on the black stuff under their eyes, and some of them have it on at the most ridiculous angle. It’s not make-up little girls, and you look lame. Lindzi gets chosen to play on both teams, therefore securing her a spot on the group date. Let the game begin.
In the interest of full disclosure, I was folding laundry during the entire baseball game. I was in and out of the room putting stuff away and so if something interesting happened I might have missed it. Wait a minute, I am watching The Bachelor right? Okay, nothing interesting happened. We’re still on track. Is it just me or did the game, which was only 3 innings, feel like it took an hour? The girls are talking like it’s the Olympics.
Four girls are sent back to the house and the other 5 go on a group beach dinner. Blakely is crying and sad to not spend time with Ben. She’s creepy and her boobs are freakishly disproportionate to the size of her body. Jennifer is crying, again. Half take off in a helicopter while the rest leave is a broken down bus. I love it when the girls cry as if Ben is the love of their lives. Really? I would never let my daughter go on this show.
Ben tells Kacie B that the problem with his last relationships ended because he loved them and they didn’t love him back. It’s because of your hair Ben. It’s dirty and chicks can’t get past it. Back at the house there is a lot of whining and complaining about Courtney. On the date Courtney is the one complaining, certain that none of the girls are right for him. Ben gives the single rose for the group date to Kacie B.
Courtney takes Ben off for a walk and she keeps saying “like”. Never noticed it before but it’s annoying now. She makes out with him and says she wants to go skinny dipping with him. She is plotting, and by plotting of course I mean trying to figure out how much of a whore she wants to be, therefore sealing her fate as the skankiest contestant to ever be on the Bachelor. If you watch this show you know how really skanky that makes her.
Elyse is going on her date with Ben and I could care less. Who is this girl? She is pretty, but a little boring and the fact that we have not seen that much of her tells us she is going home. Elyse is off to a day on a yacht. Within a few minutes she puts the nails in her coffin. She tells Ben she has accomplished all she wanted in her life. She was being secure, he took it literally, and it was all over for Elyse. Bye Sweetie.
Elyse, who had one date with Ben, is crying and asking him what she did wrong. It’s so sad. It’s upsetting to watch these young girls fall apart as if they did something wrong, or didn’t deserve love. These girls need a kick in the ass and some self respect and dignity. I get that love hurts but this is not love. It’s the Bachelor. Off topic, every single girl on this show is wearing a hideous nail polish color. Seriously ugly.
In a show of horrible editing, Nicki had her date two days earlier, and gets caught in the rain, yet her commenting on the departure of Elyse is done on the same day as her date was she is in the same dress and her hair is not done, as if caught in the rain.. This show is shot in 5 minutes and I get it’s fake, but the editors need to pay closer attention. We are watching, we are drunk, and we see things we would not see sober.
Courtney sneaks off to Ben’s room and invites him to the beach for some wine and skinny dipping. They get down to the beach, she strips completely naked, as does Ben, and they are in the water. Who does this? In front of the camera? Why would he want to be with a girl like this? Why is Courtney still saying “winning”? Why am I watching this show? Why am I out of ice? Why is this dragged out to two hours each week?
Ben is feeling crappy about his intimate moment with Courtney. Too late Ben. We think you are a pig so feeling bad about it does not change that. You are a whore just like Courtney. Jennifer is gushing and telling him how much she likes him. Blakeley fake cries and tells him how she finally thinks she deserves love. Dear Lord. This chick is a hot mess and her teeth are too big. Ship her off to The Bachelor Pad.
The girls are all talking about skinny dipping and you know Courtney wants to spill the beans. She says it’s more fun when you do it with someone you care about so I’m wondering how many men she has done it with that you knows it’s better if you dig them. Courtney is a skank. Meanwhile poor Emily is talking with Ben and once again talking about Courtney after she tells him she is not focused on Courtney. Please make it stop.
Ben shuts her up and tells her to move on. She cries and is convinced he hates her. Who is raising these girls to have no faith in themselves? Is love, or the hope for love, so powerful that it makes us think we are unworthy of having it? Yes. Yes it is. I feel bad for Emily because she is sweet, just really dumb. I hope Ben is watching and realizes she was looking out for him and Courtney is a pig.
It’s the final rose ceremony and I am certain he is sending Emily home, but in the end he sends Jennifer! The best kisser in the house! I figured she’d be in the final four so I was surprised. I don’t get the cut when there are women he has no connection with still there, but whatever. There is no point in trying to figure this show out because it has no point. Next week could see the end of Courtney so I will be here, keeping it real.
January 30, 2012 | 10:18 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
Well, it’s finally over and now we get the payoff in the form of the reunion. It is our prize for suffering through this miserable season of crap. The only reality we’re been given all season is the three part reunion, so I’m in! The ladies are settled in and wine is poured, so here we go!
Is it just me or are all of the dresses tonight ugly? I expected the ladies to look a little better. Adrienne’s dress is mortifying and further proof that she thinks it’s 1984. There is some weird purple haze over the set and nobody looks happy to be there which is good for us!
Kim is not there because she’s in rehab, so as we begin we have Camille, Lisa, Kyle, Taylor and Adrienne. Adrienne is ridiculous. There is nothing appealing about this woman. She is a bitch to her husband, a bitch to her friends, and a moron. She may be educated, but she’s not smart.
Andy talks to Lisa about the wedding and his wanting to know how much it cost was tacky. He is rude to Lisa, saying it was her wedding more than Pandora’s and I am turned off my him. Just as Andy was on Teresa at the New Jersey reunion, he seems to be on Lisa here.
Adrienne is going on about how hurtful Lisa was to her and it’s stupid. Crackpot is not that cute. Deal. Adrienne is upset Pandora’s bachelorette party was not at The Palms, which is ridiculous. Nobody wants to go to The Palms so why would Lisa? Adrienne is a big baby.
I think the Maloof Hoof/Vanderpump was hilarious. Adrienne is offended by everything Lisa says and I’m not really listening to her because I am fixated on how puffy her face is. How much crap does this woman put in her face? The calculated and systematic attacks on Lisa are in effect.
Kyle is pissed at Lisa and it’s not clear why. Kyle is mean. I think she is a fame whore and after hanging onto the coattails of her porn star niece and drunk sister for so long, she has had a taste of fame and nothing else matters to her. I used to love Kyle, not so much anymore.
Kyle is being just horrible to Lisa and I don’t get what is happening. Kyle is out of control. She is rambling about how she cares about all the girls and that is crap. Kyle cares about being famous. Who would want to be friends with this woman? If you can’t do anything for her, she’s out.
To hear the women talking about how much they spent on a dress is both disturbing and fabulous. Good for them that they can drop 30K on a dress and bless their balls for not being too embarrassed to share it. Then they talk about how tacky Dana is without mentioning Dana.
It’s time to talk about Russell. This puts me over the edge. God bless Kennedy and her two siblings. I hope they have wonderful memories of their dad and never lose them. Taylor’s lips look bigger. Maybe it’s because she is thinner, but she is an alien and looks really horrible.
Taylor says she was grieving and did not think about the show airing. Adrienne thinks the show should have shown to let people see what Russell was going through. Really? All we saw was that his wife lied about a lot of stuff and he killed himself. We learned nothing.
There was no great message taught by showing this storyline. The abuse of Taylor, if it occurred, is horrible, but what lesson did it teach? Stay in an abusive relationship until it gets so bad someone dies? Adrienne needs to shut up and stop talking as if she knows anything.
Camille felt the show should not air as it would harmful to Russell’s children. I am with Camille on this one. Taylor is calmly explaining that she agreed to do the show while being abused because the cameras would protect her. Really? I think Taylor, or whatever her name is, is delusional.
She cries and says she loved Russell and misses him terribly. She then proceeds to tell us that he had a mental illness. The man has died, he has 3 young children, and she is telling the world that their dad had a mental issue? The disrespect for the children of this man is offensive.
Adrienne just can’t stop talking and tells us Russell may have killed Taylor. Really? Again, shut up Adrienne. We are shown a bunch of clips from Taylor’s nervous breakdown and it’s sad. I would feel some compassion for her if she would stop lying. I just cannot stand her.
I am loving Camille Grammer. She is keeping it real so bravo to her. Back to Taylor’s lies, I just don’t believe her. I want to, but I can’t. I think she has built a story and is so far into it she cannot go back. The truth was bad enough so why embellish it? Something is not right with her.
Camille is being very gracious to Taylor. I really like her. Why is Adrienne talking again? Why are we talking about Bernie? He seems like a loser to me and that Adrienne is defending her chef over her friend is weird. Adrienne has a stick up her butt for Lisa and it really makes no sense.
Lisa says Bernie sold a story to the tabloids and Adrienne turns around says Lisa has. Lisa is insisting she never has, and Adrienne is saying she is a liar. Lisa then says it’s slander and Adrienne sits there with a frozen look on her face, and all I want to do is rip off her Zolciak wig.
Camille confirms that some guy at a gossip site told Adrienne and Camille that they paid her for stories. Not buying it. They told Camille and Adrienne that, hoping they were gullible enough to believe it. I feel bad for Lisa that she is under such an attack and she is clearly shaken.
With only four minutes to go we get what we’ve all been waiting for. Brandi Glanville! We only see her for a couple of minutes, but it is awesome. She is not taking crap from the mean girls and I love it. If Bravo does not make her a housewife they have officially lost their minds.
Part one of the reunion was good, but surprising. The attacks on Lisa were very strange. It’s idiotic because if we need to choose sides I think Kyle, Taylor and Adrienne will lose. Those women suck and Bravo letting them go would be the best way to keep it real.