Posted by Ilana Angel
It’s Monday night, which means I am sitting down with a bottle of wine because that is the only way I can get through this show. I love it so much and really want to just relax and enjoy it, but the fact is Kyle and Taylor are sucking the joy out of this show and making me want to hit people.
We pick up in Hawaii where Kim and Ken have finally arrived to join the group. They were apparently 36 hours late to the party and its clear to see why. She is wasted, so is her boyfriend, and it’s all quite sad. By sad of course I mean one bottle won’t be enough to get me though.
Adrienne and Paul are out for a hike and Adrienne tells the camera it’s been years since they held hands. Not buying it. They probably never held hands. I don’t get this couple. They are boring to us so they must bore the crap out of each other. I could not possibly care less about them.
Kim checks into the room next to Kyle who is eavesdropping on them while Mauricio hangs out without his shirt on. Clearly Bravo realizes Kyle is not good television and is using her hot husband to create interest in a fame seeking mean girl.
Sidebar: I think Kyle is desperate to be famous and realizes that this show may be her last chance. She hung onto Paris for fame and when that didn’t work out, she decided selling her sister down the river would be the way to go. I loved her in the beginning but now, not so much.
It’s time for a group birthday dinner and everyone heads out. Lisa and Ken look fabulous and Brandi is once again giving me ass envy. Who has a bum like that for real? Bitch. They all go to dinner, with only Kim and Ken running late. Dinner promises to be a train wreck.
Kim and Ken turn up and not 5 seconds after her arrival, Kyle starts pushing her sister and causing trouble. Then Mauricio joins in and they are rude. We all know Kim is taking drugs so I do not understand the need to embarrass her by Kyle and Mauricio.
It’s mean, not classy, and a bucket full of crap. Everyone is uncomfortable and it’s stupid. Kyle calls bulls&^* which is such a nice way for a hostess to behave. Kim is ignoring her, which I love, and you can actually see Kyle’s mind racing to figure out a way steal the spotlight.
It reminds me of a made for TV movie where two sisters are best friends, then one gets a boyfriend and the other sister sleeps with him to prove she is better than her sister. Did you follow that? Kyle is the sister who sleeps with Kim’s boyfriend just to prove she is better.
Dinner is served and rather than enjoy the food and scenery, Kyle blurts out that Taylor called and said she was getting divorced. Kyle is gross and Kim was quite funny saying Taylor left him so she would get invited to the next dinner. I laughed out loud at that actually.
Kyle and Lisa claim to be Taylor’s friend yet when everyone trashes her by saying she is fake and will be with Russell again, they don’t say a thing. Don’t write me that this was editing either. Kyle is a backstabber and that cannot be altered in editing no mater how hard you try.
Paul decides to give a toast and rather than congratulate the birthday boy, he toasts his wife then they exchange an awkward kiss that is nauseating. Adrienne could not be less attracted to him and that he enjoys it is weird. Brandi speculates they are animals in the sack. Nope.
Everyone is finally enjoying the dinner and Kyle is bitching to Lisa about Kim. It’s just strange. She cannot seem to stand it when things are going well and I don’t get it. I understand there is a history between them, but Kyle is simply not as innocent as she’d like us to believe.
Mauricio makes a toast to telling the truth which is lame. Kim wants to just enjoy the night, but Kyle is pushing for a fight in front of everyone. Mauricio and Kyle are ganging up on Kim and it’s embarrassing. I felt very bad for Kim and wish Kyle could have been kind.
They are all going out on a boat trip and Kim and Ken are a no show. Lisa and Kyle go to get them and while Lisa is rather entertaining, Kyle is ridiculous. Kim is clearly not well and for them to put her in the position to have her pain filmed is as unethical as showing Russell.
Sidebar: Who wears full make up, chunky jewelry and high heeled shoes on a snorkeling trip on a catamaran? Give the Beverly Hills pretentiousness a break ladies. We’re not only not buying it, we think you look like fools. It’s a boat, heels are stupid, but we are not.
Kyle decides that after going to get Kim, she will leave without her. They get in the boat and just as Kim and Ken arrive, they have left the dock and Kim and Ken don’t get to go. This show needs new writers and more Brandi and Camille, because the Richards sisters suck.
Kim and Ken are out for lunch and appear to be speaking Methanese, or Crackbrew, or some other language I don’t speak. I’d make fun of them but it’s simply too sad. Back on the boat Kyle has forgotten about her sister, is having a blast, and everyone is coveting Brandi’s body.
Back in LA, Taylor goes to Dana’s house for lunch. She tells the camera that the “majority” of her friends are in Hawaii. Really? These fake friends from a TV show are her friends? Dana is wearing no makeup and looks gorgeous, while Taylor is made up and looks like crap.
Taylor fake cries, and says she has really tried. Tried to what? Embarrass her husband and push him so far over the edge that leaving his three kids seems like a better option than dealing with the aftermath of her lies? I just want to make sure we all understand.
It’s time for a final dinner and I have to say Adrienne’s dress is over the top. GET A STYLIST. Kyle’s dress is too big or too small and she keeps fiddling with it and flipping her hair and I want to rip her dress off and give her a robe so she can be comfortable.
Kim is talking to Adrienne and Paul when Ken approaches, is clearly paranoid, and ruins the only nice moment for Kim with any of the other women. They go to dinner and Kim is once again trying to have a nice time and Kyle is a complete and total bitch. I am so over it.
Kyle needs to stop picking her teeth with her tongue, flipping her hair, and wearing coral lipstick. None of it is a good look for her. Kyle is trying to once again suck the joy out of everything for Kim and attacks her again in front of everyone. Ken and Kim don’t get it why she won’t stop.
Kim and Ken are clearly wasted, but they are not so out of it that they cannot see they are under attack. Kim says Kyle drives while talking on a cell one, and Kyle screams something about a child molester. Then Kyle says she has not hung out with Kim in 12 years. Really?
Kyle is now digging her own hole, and in an attempt to hurt her sister, it would appear Kim has been high but honest, while Kyle has been not high, buy lying. I hope Kim is getting help and I hope Kyle realizes we see her, we get it, and we think she sucks.
Kim and Ken leave the dinner and Kyle goes on and on and on about how bad Kim is, and starts with her fake crying. She wipes away invisible tears and I think it’s funny. By funny of course I mean the best thing Kim can do for herself is get help and stay away from her very jealous sister.
In addition to ruing this show for me, Kyle also ruined her husband’s birthday. Next week will be a two bottle episode and I may need to get a Xanax from Brandi. I love this show but Dear Lord enough already. When is Bravo going to start keeping it real?
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire.
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television.
12.2.13 at 7:12 am | I was bored with all the jumping around.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . .
11.25.13 at 11:14 pm | They started off strong, but tonight tanked.
11.25.13 at 9:02 pm | Some of this episode was uncomfortable to watch.
12.1.13 at 9:20 am | The constant end endless desire to hurt someone. . . (3853)
12.2.13 at 7:09 pm | Second week in a row of boring television. (3211)
12.3.13 at 10:31 am | Liar, liar, pants on fire. (3103)
January 8, 2012 | 9:39 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
This week picks up at Renee’s Birthday / Celebration of Life party and before we even get started, I am sad it’s going to be over in an hour. I could watch these women all day. They are fascinating, entertaining, funny, endearing, beautiful and scary as hell. I love this show.
Important to note it’s not just the ladies that make this show so great. The music is another character, and whoever is picking the soundtrack is a genius. I look forward to watching like I used to count down to The Soprano’s. It is my guilty pleasure and I am hooked.
Drita is upset there is so much tension between herself and Karen. BigAng goes to check on her and Drita tells her she will talk to Karen if Ang gets her. Karen comes out and Drita is very nice. She is talking calmly and rationally and sincerely wants to make things better with Karen.
I like Drita and think she is a loyal friend. Karen is a fame seeker who is so aware of the camera and trying look like a hard ass, she ends up looking a little fake. Drita is saying they are friends, they flashback to Drita saying they were never friends, it’s out of context and total bull.
Karen plays into it and tells the cameras that Drita is lying, meanwhile inside the party Ang is talking to Ramona who I think is a troublemaker. I think last year nobody knew how the show would turn out, and now that it’s a hit, Ramona is shoving herself in to get a piece of the pie.
BigAng is saying it’s nice they are fixing things, we see Drita trying to make things better, and listen to Ramona trying to sound scary. Karen and Ramona are Mob Wives wannabes. They want to be Drita and Renee and it’s never going to happen. Karen set Drita up and it’s just not cool.
Drita is talking nicely and Karen is just looking for a fight. Drita is trying to defuse the situation but Karen is pushing for a fight. You can see Drita start to feel uneasy and you know something bad is going to happen. Ang is hoping for the best, Ramona is willing the worse, and punches fly.
Karen tells Drita she talks herself out of coming to her house to get her, and Drita lets us know if you come to your house she will take a wrench to your throat. Ramona comes out to desperately get camera time and it’s all over. The fight is on and it’s difficult to watch. It’s real hitting!
Derek Tobacco steps in to help Drita. That was not typo, his name is Derek Tobacco. I’m dying it’s so good. Renee is pissed off these girls are ruining her party and heads out to make it end. Ramona is screaming that her bloody mouth is because Derek hit her and she is pissed off.
Karen is pissed Derek hit Ramona and they are both going to kill him. Drita is mad at Renee because she feels set up, but Renee is not leaving Drita and wants to help her get out. Drita is in the car with Renee and Renee wants to know what the hell is going on. I’m sad for Renee.
Renee is the Queen to me and I am pissed off her party is ruined. Karen is talking crap to Big Ang and playing it up for the cameras which erases her credibility. Renee is assuring Drita she did not set her up and says she’s rather have celebrated by herself in the hospital.
It’s a big mess and really difficult to watch. Everyone has their own side of the story and we’ll never know what really went down, but from what I can tell, Drita tried to make peace, Karen can’t let the past go, Renee is the leader, Karen wishes she was Renee, and Ramona is ridiculous.
Derek comes back to the party to let everyone know he never hit Ramona and the fighting starts again. Junior is there and with an open case with the Feds, he needs to get out. Sidebar: I just wrote open case with the Feds and it was serious! I love this show so much. Seriously love it.
Now the men are all involved and I’m not totally clear on what is happening but I think they are pissed off that Derek hit a woman, although he insists he did not. Junior is looking to get Derek, Renee is screaming for him to stop, their son AJ is also there, and it’s all quite sad.
Sidebar: For the mob, being in the wrong place at the wrong time can have a domino effect and many lives are changed. It’s fascinating to be sure, but I find I have compassion for these women in a way that surprises me. They are tough because they need to be.
Ang is telling her friend what happened at the party and she is upset her telling Karen to talk to Drita backfired. Carla is calling everyone to see what happened because she was not invited, yet she can’t reach anyone. It’s the talk of the town.
Ramona confirms that it was not Derek that hit her, but rather Drita. Everyone is talking about the party and Karen seems to be the only one who does not care that ruined Renee’s party. I’m not one to pick sides, but come on Karen. This was all you and admitting it would be a nice thing.
Carla goes over to Drita’s house to hear what happened. Drita has a banged up eye and feels bad about the party being ruined. She wishes she had not gone because she put herself in an environment that made her uncomfortable. Drita is venting and I don’t trust Carla.
Drita feels set up and in terms of hitting Karen or Ramona again, she is going to use a wrench from now on so she doesn’t need to get her hands dirty. Drita cracks me up. Of course I am laughing with her, not at her. This girl is hardcore but also sweet. I am scared of her but want to hug her too.
Karen’s dad was a snitch and she is so desperate to not be defined by him that I feel bad for her. Meanwhile Junior is going to his sentencing and Renee is praying it goes well. I wish Renee and Junior would get married again. She clearly loves him and I think they belong together.
Junior cops a plea and it went well. He will sere 15 to 21 months, but won’t have to go for another 6 months. Junior and Renee go for a walk and he tells her how scary her surgery was for him. He says he loves her, is in love with her, and wants for them to try to be together again.
I think we’ve reached a point in our relationship of blogger and reader where I can share with you that I cried. I really like Renee and if Junior makes her happy then I want that for her. If he stop cheating she’s in, and so they will give it a go. Good for her, good for him, good for AJ.
This show does not disappoint and following the women on Twitter is cool, especially while the show is airing. If you have not seen it, I highly recommend that you give it a shot. It is the most unusual reality show as it may be the only one that is actually keeping it real.
January 6, 2012 | 3:02 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
A few weeks ago I was working on a deadline, my son was sick, I had not slept, and could feel a cold coming on. It was an oddly stressful day and for some unknown reason, I found myself thinking about Teresa Giudice from The Real Housewives of New Jersey. She had four kids, what appeared to be a full yet stressful life, and I wondered how she managed.
My own mother had four kids by the time she was 24 and I am in awe of her, so I figured Teresa, reality television fame aside, was probably a remarkable woman too. I sent her people an email and asked if Teresa would be available for an interview. I heard right back saying she would be happy to speak with me, and that is how the interview came to be.
Teresa called while she was out with Audriana. It was weird to hear Audriana talking to her mom because we were there when she was born, and that feels like it was yesterday. I was not sure what to expect, which I never do when talking to a housewife, but I was surprised by how much I liked Teresa from the first minute we started talking.
Teresa is stereotyped as a lot of things by a lot of people, so if I were going to stereotype her, I would say she is very “Jewish”. She is funny, honest, and manages to turn every answer into an opportunity to kvell about her kids. She is menschy and warm and I really liked her. We slipped into an easy conversation and the RHONJ seemed irrelevant.
Teresa loved her experience on Celebrity Apprentice and thinks people will love the show. She was hesitant to do it at first as she had heard it was a hard and stressful, but upon meeting Mr. Trump she was excited to sign on. She had nothing but wonderful things to say about The Donald, and says now that it was a great time and she loved the experience.
When I asked her about all the buzz surrounding her and Victoria Gotti, she laughed and proudly pointed out that there were a few Italian cast members this season, and that she thought Victoria was great. I am super excited about Celebrity Apprentice. It premieres on Sunday, February 12th on NBC and I will be here blogging about it and cheering Teresa on.
We jumped from The Celebrity Apprentice to food. I mentioned to Teresa that I made her meatballs for my son and I was mortified that he said they were as good as mine. He actually said they were better but I’m in denial. I told her how I make mine and she suggested I not mix the meat so much, and also roll them looser so they are airy and don’t get dense.
She told me about the dinner she made on Tuesday night that was so good Gia tweeted about it. She sautéed chicken breast, added sundried tomatoes, spinach, garlic, and fresh grape tomatoes. She cut the tomatoes in half, and then squished them a little in the pan so the juices came out and add to the flavor. Squishing the tomatoes is a great little tip.
Teresa cooks for her family everyday, and on the rare occasions she orders in, it’s usually Chinese food, which is her favorite. She cooks a lot of food and recently has switched to whole wheat or vegetable pasta as Joe is trying to cut down on carbs because they have a bet going to see who can have the best abs by spring and are both taking it seriously and look great.
The kids don’t like the same dinner two days in a row so they will eat leftovers after school for a snack, then have a new dinner when their activities are done. The cutest thing is that they appreciate how great of a cook their mom us. If Teresa wants to order in they insist she cooks instead. I want to go and have dinner at Teresa’s house. Everyday.
With a new cookbook coming out and her own line of Bellini drinks called Fabellini being launched, Teresa is more than just a housewife. She is the breakout star of RHONJ and with that comes a lot of baggage. That’s not coming from Teresa, but from me. Teresa and I spoke for almost an hour and not once did she mention her cast mates or thrown anyone under a bus.
We all know I love the Real Housewives franchise and I blog about it often. By often of course I mean it is my crack and I blog about every episode, of every season, of every city. (Except for Miami and DC, which was a complete and total waste of our time.) My blogs are recaps and stay focused on each episode rather than the show as a whole.
I choose to write this way because if I comment on what happened weeks earlier, it becomes a soap opera and loses the reality feel for me. While Teresa understands this approach, it’s hard for her when people form strong opinions while seemingly forgetting the things that led up to the situations that gave them such strong opinions. Right or wrong, it’s my style.
She reminded me that if you look back to season one, she was exactly the same as she is now, and she is right. Through all the ups and downs she has remained the same. She works hard, does not expect anything to be given to her, and most importantly, if she said anything about anyone, she was willing to say it to their face with or without cameras.
Teresa said that you can’t kill a person and then say you are sorry, which I thought was really interesting. She went on to say that you really need to think about killing someone before you do because there is no going back. One could interpret this in a million different ways, but for me, it’s just about a girl who has been hurt by someone she desperately loves.
The third season reunion show last year was rough because it took place while they were still shooting season four. She listened to some of the other women speak unkindly about her, and then had to shoot with them the next day. It was all made just a little bit harder due to the way Bravo brought her immediate family on as new cast members of the show.
Bravo hired her brother Joe and his wife Melissa before they told Teresa about it. Now haters will say that’s not true, but remember that Bravo is showing us footage of Russell Armstrong, which proves that their potential to be unethical is quite strong. Teresa was put in a tough spot but manages to move forward, even under tremendous scrutiny.
Teresa loves her family and we talked about it at great length. Rather than discuss what was said, I’d rather share my take. Teresa loves her brother in a profound way. When he got married she wanted to love his wife like a sister. She is old school in terms of her family values and I think the rift in her family hurts her heart more than we know.
Her father has been in and out of the hospital with bouts of pneumonia, and does not watch the show. Her mother watches but does not comment because she loves her children and it’s sad for her. At one point when she was talking about her brother, Teresa asked me if I understood what she was saying. She wanted me to understand and I truly do.
Important to note that I don’t think she was questioning whether I understood, as much as she was trying to understand herself. Instead of her brother and sister-in-law being excited for her success, they wanted in for a piece of the pie and we all know no good can come of that. Envy and jealousy ruin relations all the time and they don’t care if you’re family.
Teresa, in my opinion, is the breakout star of RHONJ. She is on The Celebrity Apprentice, has a successful series of cook books, a husband who loves her, a mother and father she adores, and four spectacular children. This should be a glorious time for her, and it is, but how sad that there is a cloud over it in terms of the jealousy of others on the show.
We see the parts of her family that Bravo wants us to see and Teresa is correct that in order to fully understand her, we need to look at the history of the show. That’s not how I blog, but certainly a view I take into consideration when formulating my opinion of Teresa. At the end of the day, after one hour on the phone, I think Teresa is fabulous.
She loves her kids and openly talks about them. She is really enjoying spending time with Audriana as the older girls are in school, and it reminds her of when she had just Gia. All the girls are very girlie and all four of them have very distinct personalities. She talks about them with tremendous pride and even took time to ask about my child.
Teresa takes motherhood very seriously. She is raising her four girls to be independent and understand the value of working and making your own money. They will know how to cook and clean, but also know that they can support themselves and their families in the same way a man can. She is raising strong women and that is a lot of work.
Audriana likes to wear hats. Teresa has bought her several with big flowers on them and Audriana will wear it all day without taking it off. Gabriella is a little more conservative that the others, Gia is very feminine, and Milania is opinionated. Teresa told me when Milania famously said, “Gimme pizza you old troll”, she and Joe could not stop laughing.
Milania also is the only one who will not wear what Teresa picks out for her. Teresa admits she like things perfect and Milania has taught her to let some of that go. She said Milania will pull out clothes that make no sense in terms of an outfit, but when she puts it on, it ends up looking great. She compared Milania’s style to Punky Brewster, which is awesome.
Teresa feels blessed. She loves her fans for supporting her, and is grateful for all the opportunities given to her by the RHONJ. She loves being a part of the show and always stays positive. She reads some of the stuff written about her, and enjoys Twitter, but at the end of the day the only opinions that matter to her are those of her parents, husband and children.
I know many are wondering if I asked her about the Jewish comment she made last season, and yes did. Well I didn’t ask her, as much as I told her, just as I blogged months ago, I was not at all offended. Did Teresa’s Jewish friend say she would leave her husband if he lost everything? Maybe. Does she speak on behalf of all Jewish women? No.
Do all Italians know about meatballs? No. Do all Jewish women leave their husbands when they lose all their money? No. We need to lighten up. Jewish chicks make reservations and Italian chicks make meatballs. Jewish men will bring you flowers, but can’t fix the garbage disposal and an Italian man won’t bring you flowers but can remodel you house. Who cares?
I like to think I know when someone is blowing smoke up my ass. Well, I may not know when the men I’m dating do ti, but I recognize it other women and I feel confident in saying that Teresa is not like hat. She understands what her blessings are, appreciates the opportunities she’s been given, and if she has something to say, it’s to your face, and I admire that.
I asked Teresa to give me three words that described her and she chose trustworthy, loyal and fun. After our chat on the phone my three words to describe Teresa would be talented, authentic, and funny. I really liked Teresa Giudice. I suppose some will write she’s not like that at all and that’s okay. Like Teresa, I will take it with a grain of salt.
I asked Teresa if she reads garbage written about her and was surprised to hear that she does. Of course it’s hard, but It propels her to work harder. She wants her kids to see her happy and if she allows the stories to hurt her, it’s bad for the kids. Of course it can be hard, but her kids come first and I ended our talk with a great deal of respect for Teresa.
As a blogger of reality television I am not always kind. I watch these shows and react to what is shown to me. It’s entertainment and that is my job. Speaking with Teresa was a reminder that the people on these shows are real. I feel bad for some of the things I’ve written and while it won’t change how I blog, it may alter some of my colorful vocabulary.
Love her or hate her, it’s only a TV show and if people set aside the extremes, I imagine most of them would really like Teresa. I hope she gets a cooking show one day because I will watch it. Teresa is a nice girl and after all she’s been through as a result of RHONJ, it turns out that of all the women, she is the one that has no problem keeping it real.
January 3, 2012 | 11:15 am
Posted by Ilana Angel
If Zach Braff and Justin Long had a baby, it would be Bachelor Ben. He is a sweet man and I wish him well. He was blessed to be dumped by the teeth picking, bang touching Ashley. I’m just unclear why nobody in his life that cares about him, does not make him get a haircut. I like you Ben, enough to keep it real with you. Cut your hair.
Not even five minutes in and I’ve got questions. Does Ben have body hair or did he wax before filming? Also, why is Chris Harrison on this show? He truly does nothing, has no facial expressions, and his “I’m listening to you and understand everything you are thinking look” makes him appear to not be listening and simply dumb.
Rachel: She is a “Fashion Sales Rep” which probably means she works at Sears. She is cute but boring and a little too tall for Ben.
Erika: She is a law student, does some lame legal jokes, and actually does a clicking sound which is hilarious. Her dress is awful.
Amber B: She is Canadian and an embarrassment to my motherland. Her last name is Bacon, which makes sense because she’s a pig.
Elyse: She is a personal trainer and tells Ben she’ll make him sweat, but does not tell him she is a trainer. Super dumb.
Jenna – She is a blogger, completely awkward, quotes Ben wrong and is a whole lot of crazy. Train wreck. Hooray!
Courtney – She’s a model, say no more. Okay one thing, she’s gorgeous and has a huge mean girl vibe to her that can’t be trusted.
Sidebar: Ben’s reaction to the women getting out of the car is really cute and entertaining. He is giddy with the ones he thinks are pretty and charming with the ones he clearly has no instant chemistry with. I love this show and I am certain that by the end of it I will be in love with Ben too. A little disgusted to be sure, but still in love.
Emily: She is getting her PHD and her approach is a little creepy. She gives Ben hand sanitizer and breath spray, then the first kiss.
Samantha: She is Ms. Pacific Palisades, probably works for her dad, and is a complete dingbat. Classic airhead contestant.
Casey S: She is a trading clerk and quite simply the most boring woman there. Don’t even remember her.
Amber T – She hunts and eats cow balls. She does a cute love at first sight thing, but she’s not a match for our Ben.
Holly: She is in pharmacutical sales, wears a big hat and is super dumb. Never going to happen for her and Ben.
Jamie – She is a registered nurse, had a rough childhood, will be an amazing wife and mother, and my top choice.
At this point Ben lets us all know he loves the brunettes which is cute. Here’s the thing, we’ve been watching for less than an hour and I get the feeling that Ben might actually break the curse of the Bachelor and find love. There is a sincerity and awkward vulnerability about him that might prove to be authentic. We might have a winner!
Shira: She’s an actress and an idiot. Her attempt at humor is lame and she can just go home now, no need to go into the house.
Blakeley: She is a “VIP Cocktail Waitress”. Well I could go off on that one but she seems sweet and simple so I’ll let it slide.
Brittney: She brings her Grandma with her and has her introduce them. It’s a sweet thing I guess but Grandma is more interesting.
Nicki – Divorced dental hygenist who is cute, but it’s never going to happen. I just don’t see him with a divorced woman.
Dianna – She works in non profit and giggles too much. Really bad dress selection, forgets what to say, so says nothing,
Jennifer: She is an accountant, makes number jokes, and is cute. I like her but she needs a haircut. They have that in common.
Lyndsie J. – She is from England, reads a poem, and is super annoying. This chick is a loon and will be out before she even sits down.
Anna: She is a student, gets out of the car and walks in without talking to him. Freaking awesome how dumb this chick is.
Monica: She is a dental consultant and also a lesbian. Super cute but may be there for a girlfriend, not Ben.
Jaclyn: She works in advertising, and I did not really pay attention to her because I was fixated on her really bad fake tan.
Shawn: Financial advisor with really bad two toned hair color, hits Ben on the arm, hard enough to leave a bruise.
Kasie B. – She is an administrative assistant, the girl next door, and super cute. She’s a contender and the bitches will slaughter her.
Lindzi C – Instead of the limo, she comes in on a horse. He’s into her and she clearly made a good first impression.
The first cocktail party begins and women are already professing their love for him. It’s freaking awesome. Ben says he’s not focused on finding a wife, just looking for love. Good for him. I like him more with every minute which means when he is a pig it will piss me off.
Rachel lets Ben know she quit her job of 5 years to be there. She’ll be crying soon enough. Nicki is over the top in love, which is creepy, but does not tell him she is divorced which is lame. She talks around her history, which I think will be her undoing. I’m not into her.
Lindzi gets one on one and he is totally into her. She has really big teeth and there is something about her that is a little off. I could be wrong, but I’m probably not. She’s a mean girl deep inside, just wait. Plus, did she change the spelling of her name to stand out?
Ben chats with the Grandma and Brittney, then walks her to the car. Ben is adorable with the Grandma and has no interest in Brittney, but can’t dump her now because he’ll look like a schmuck. Grandma saved Britt tonight but it won’t last. She’ll be gone soon enough.
Blakely is rocking a massive wrist tattoo. It creeps Ben out so she’ll be out. The chicks are playing soccer, dancing, and doing a bunch of weird crap to get his attentions and time with him. What is so fascinating is that I can actually smell the desperation through my television.
Emily does a rap about love and disease and it’s horribly wrong. She lets us know she has a gangster side, but not so much. If you are going to do a lame song, and know it will get you attention, then why not brush your hair? Especially when there are models around you.
Courtney, if you need to tell him you are normal and nice, then chances are you are not normal or nice. You are a mean girl and I can’t wait to see you spin a web. In the house Jenna is becoming unhinged because of Monica. She is seriously losing her mind and it’s perfect.
Monica is saying she is not in love with Ben after 5 minutes, and Jenna thinks it’s wrong because Monica should know right now if it’s love. Monica and Jenna are insane. These too are the Ali and Vienna of this season, only better. They will get roses because the producers insist they do.
Monica is hammered and hitting on Blakely. A serious full on I want to make out with you pass. It’s hilarious. Blakely is clearly scared and it’s fantastic. Monica is in love with a chick and Jenna is losing her mind. She asks the camera how to maintain sanity and it’s on!
Jenna is talking to anyone who will listen about what a bitch Monica is. Jenna writes a blog about love? She appears to be having a nervous breakdown in front of our eyes. She tries to sound smart, but she sounds crazy. How did she pass a phsycologal test?
Jenna goes to talk to Monica, Monica is not getting Jenna, or understanding what she wants from her, and Jenna’s head is about to fly off her body. Jenna is mentally unwell. She is also a horrible fake crier. These chicks are wasted and don’t seem to care that we are all watching.
Ben has absolutely no chemistry with Jenna, and she pisses him off at one point so you know he will keep her. She is good television and they will force him to keep her. Jenna is now crying in the bathroom not sure if she can do the show. Choo Choo! The crazy train has left the station.
Jenna is saying that she gave everything and I am screaming in delight. Meanwhile Ben gives the first impression rose to Lindzi. She reminds me a little bit of Christine Taylor. Or maybe it’s Marsha Brady, but there is something familiar about her. The other girls are pissed.
It’s time for the first rose ceremony and Jenna is not there. She is still crying in the bathroom and unable to pull it together. She eventually comes out and watches the girls from the hallway. She is not just reality TV crazy, she is seriously needs meds crazy.
At the rose ceremony Amber B., Amber T., Holly, Shira, Dianna, Lyndsie J., and Anna are sent home. Monica and Jenna make it through because Mike Fleiss is a genius and he knows what we like. Based on the first night I choose Jamie as my top pick. I want her to find love.
Hearing the girls who got the boot say they are losers and complete failures is really sad. Watching them cry is really funny. It’s one night ladies and if this is what makes you a loser then I can assure you that you were losers before you got there and did nothing wrong.
It’s going to be a great season. We will love it, hate it, praise it, and mock it. We will believe in love and be disappointed when it’s not found. We will pick sides, favorites, and winners. The Bachelor is back and Ben is a keeper. I will be honest, harsh, hopeful and bitter.
This is my favorite show to blog about and so I’m exited it is back. I love it so much that I think I might actually hate it. Searching for love is a brutal thing so bravo to these women for allowing us the joy of watching them crash and burn. I am in and keeping it real.
January 2, 2012 | 8:58 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
This show is exhausting to watch. The women are so full of crap that it’s as if we are watching full blown scripted television, written by really bad writers, and staring really bad actresses. Even the ones I like are becoming unappealing. Never mind that watching Russell feels dirty.
This week picks up at the White Party, where Taylor and Russell have been kicked out. I think Kyle is more of a mess than her sister. Kim is high so you can almost forgive her, but Kyle is just straight up mean. She cannot be trusted, especially by her sister, and her tears are fake.
Taylor is gone so in the middle of the party, they sit around and talk about it. Russell was blindsided by lies and I don’t think he had intentions of suing. Camille, who I really like, tells the camera her lawyers told her to stay away from Russell. Then why go to the party?
If the girls were worried about Taylor’s safety, why put her in danger? Tell Camille not to come, and talk to Russell so he won’t sue. This was a bomb ready to blow. You can feel honest concern from Lisa, but I think the rest of the ladies loved every minute of the drama.
Adrienne likes the sound of her own voice and could be saying something of value, but her hair makes it impossible to take anything she says seriously. In the car Russell appears to have no idea what is going on, or why Camille lied. Taylor is squirming.
Russell is either in complete denial about his abuse of Taylor, or Taylor lied about it all. She tells Russell she did talk about their marriage to the girls and told them that “all couples fight”. Very true, but not all men break the jaw of their wife and have no memory of ever doing it.
Lisa is sad and Kyle tells her they need to go and have a good time because she’s worked too hard. In the blink of Botoxed eye, Kyle is dancing, laughing gossiping about Taylor and having a great time. Meanwhile, Russell is either planning is own death, or beating the crap out of his wife.
Adrienne lets us know women kiss better than men. Kim is sloshed and making out with Ken in front of her kids, who appear to be on the verge of vomiting. Kyle is watching and pretending to be grossed out but she is just jealous the cameras have left her for a minute.
They gang is going to Hawaii to celebrate Mauricio’s birthday. Important to note that on the entire planet, in every city and town, Giggy is the cutest dog ever. Seeing him in his pants and Hawaiian shirt makes me think that I will stalk Lisa around town and steal her dog. I freaking love this dog.
Everyone is at the airport, the flight is leaving in 45 minutes and Kim and Ken have not arrived. Kyle gets her on the phone and she is clearly not herself. By not herself of course I mean she is high as a kite. It’s very sad. Especially since we now know she has been in rehab recently.
Back in LA, Taylor is in her fake therapy session saying she was kicked out of the party and did not go to Hawaii. He is clearly leading her in conversation and it’s disgusting. Taylor is mad that her friendships are suffering. Really? The beating is okay, just leave my friends alone?
Kim lets Kyle know she is on a later flight but we cannot understand what she is saying because of the slurring. Paul is taking a later flight, which is weird. If he had to work why would Adrienne not wait and fly with her husband? That marriage is just too much trouble to end.
Kyle is insisting to Lisa that Kim is not happy. That is because Kyle knows everything about Kim. Except of course that she had a boyfriend. Kyle knows nothing about Kim because Kim does not tell her stuff. Kyle is not warm and fuzzy and I wouldn’t tell her anything either.
The gang takes a plane to their island. By plane of course I mean Howard Hughes may have actually flown this plane. Brandi drank and took a Xanax because she is a fearful flyer, and she is now plastered. She is a sloppy drunk, which translates to good television. Go Team Brandi!
Sidebar: Brandi says a man who drives a red Ferrari has a small penis. Adrienne tells us her brother drove one, and with a knowing wink lets us know Brandi’s theory is wrong. Really? Adrienne can confirm the size of her adult brother’s penis? Next time just fly with your husband.
Lisa is back in a good light. For a couple of weeks I didn’t get her. In the end it was me, not her. She is who she is, and she is fabulous. I was grossed out by Taylor so I blurred the lines. In the end Lisa is funny and perhaps the most honest and inherently kind out of the ladies.
Paul arrives to the hotel and Adrienne greets him in her 1980’s half visor, which matches her 80’s hair and clothes. He tells Adrienne that Kim was on the flight, but disappeared into the bathroom for a while and seemed a little off. She still has a connector flight to make, as he came early.
He wants to make sure they have some romance as they never travel alone, and she shoots down all his ideas. Adrienne is not nice to her husband and while it was funny in the beginning, it no longer is. At the pool Camille and Brandi are getting some sun. They both look fabulous.
Brandi’s body is a topic of conversation for all the ladies. Brandi looks amazing. I would like to have that body for one day. I would walk around naked and simply admire it from every angle. This is a spectacular looking woman, which makes the LeAnn thing make less sense.
Taylor calls and tells Lisa and Kyle that she is ending her marriage. Why she chose to call them in Hawaii and not wait two days is unclear, but I’m guessing Bravo planned it. Lisa cries and is compassionate, while Kyle is robotic and cold, and all I can think about is Russell.
Next week we see Kim finally shows up and it’s not going to be good. I like her and think if she were not suffering from substance abuse she would be just kooky enough to be fabulously entertaining. Sadly I will watch again next week, hoping that maybe someone will keep it real.
January 1, 2012 | 10:51 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
The second season of Mob Wives premiered this week and boy oh boy am I hooked. I love these women. By love of course I mean I have to say that because I’m scared of what will happen if I don’t. They are fantastically entertaining and even if you think you hate all reality television, give these women a shot. From the way it’s shot, to the music, this show is perfect.
I won’t recap who the women are because it will take too long, but you can watch season one on DVD and catch up if you want to get all the back stories. I think if you have not seen the show, and watch the season opener, you will want to go back and see how we got to where we are now. The show starts off with Renee, who is going to have some elective plastic surgery.
I love Renee. Of all the women she is the one I would want to go out for lunch with. I think she is beautiful and there is a vulnerability to her that makes me want to hug her. She is having a full body lift to hike up her boobs and flatten her stomach. I thought she looked great, but totally get that she wanted it and I understood her excitement about the outcome.
She felt something was off before the surgery and at one point tells the Dr. she is thinking about Kanye West’s mother, who we all know died after complications from elective surgery. She has a gut feeling something is not right, but she has wanted the surgery for a long time and when the anesthesiologist is injecting your meds you can’t really say stop.
Carla and Drita are getting together to hang out by the pool. Drita scares me to death. She is beautiful and if you saw her without hearing her speak, you’d think she was lovely. When she talks though, it’s all over. This woman is hard as nails and even when she is not being aggressive, she sounds like she could snap at any minute and haul off and slug you in the face.
Carla is the least interesting of the women. By least interesting of course I mean not at all interesting. She is very pretty, but not at all compelling. The other ladies pop next to her, which is not hard to do, but they are all firecrackers except for Carla so I’m not sure why she is on the show. I think they should replace her with Big Ang, but we’ll get to that soon.
Back at the surgery center, Renee is out of surgery and not feeling well. She is in horrible pain and seeing her is heartbreaking. She is begging for help and when her son comes to see her I almost cried. She is begging him to help her, he is telling her he loves her, and I found myself screaming at the TV for somebody to help her. She is rushed to the hospital.
After the surgery she has complications, loses a massive amount of blood, and almost dies. She needed to have a blood transfusion and the entire thing is horrific. Even knowing she is okay, and hearing her tell the story herself, it was scary. Karen has not heard from her since the surgery so she calls to check in and finds out Renee is still in the hospital.
I like Karen. She is hardcore, and at the same time, seems a little less intimidating than the others. She can pack a punch so maybe it’s a case of the quiet one being the most dangerous. Out of all the ladies she seems the most aware of the cameras. She is serious in terms of her family mob connections, yet seems the least authentic. Sorry Karen.
Important to note that I am a Canadian Jewish chick and I really have no idea what would be deemed authentic. My only exposure to the mob life is through Hollywood, so chances are my ideas about the mob are 99% full of crap. Back to the show, Renee is out of the hospital and having a slow and painful recovery. She is ready for the nightmare to be over.
Carla is out for lunch with a friend and tells her that she knew Renee had surgery, but was not aware it had gone wrong and was serious. She says Renee should have gone to the gym and I just think Carla is horrible. She is boring, and not a good friend, and she can go. She is talking about her ex and who cares? I’m not digging her and scared to death that I said it.
Karen went to visit Renee and hears about the horrible experience she had. Renee says she is feeling insecure about her body, regretting she had the surgery, and shares that she suffers from depression and that the surgery made it worse. During the visit I realize that I actually love Karen. She is sweet and a good friend. I take it back Karen. You’re a good egg.
Drita is taking boxing classes to help ease her aggression. This girl likes to fight. She may be the smallest, but she is the toughest. She is heartbroken about her husband cheating but says its aggravation. She is talking to the trainer and you see the fear in his eyes. She is telling the poor guy about how she feels better when she hits, and he looks like he might cry.
Drita tells us the next punch she throws will be in the ring. Okay Sweetie. Karen is having drinks with Ramona who is her childhood friend. Drita sends Karen a text saying she wants to talk but Karen is not into it. Ramona is clearly a troublemaker and likes to stir the pot. She is supporting her friend, but needs to back up a little or she’ll be in the crossfire.
Renee starts with a new therapist. He is sweet and she is open to therapy which a great thing. I hope he can ease some of her pain. Sidebar: I think showing therapy sessions on reality television is unethical and should not be allowed. She is talking about Carla, and being threatening, and in the end no good can come of this being shown on the show. Not cool.
Renee is planning a birthday/hooray for life party for herself and she does not want to invite Carla. I wouldn’t either. She is talking to Drita and gets some support from her in terms of her decision to not include Carla. Drita tells Renee she will work things out with Carla and Renee tells her to keep the drama away from her party. Drita assures her she will.
Drita then runs to Carla and tells her that she is not invited to Renee’s party. Carla lets us know that she didn’t want to go to the part anyway. Carla is annoyed by the while thing and says she had no idea Renee was so sick. The thing is, if your friend has surgery, and you don’t hear from her for weeks, you call. That is what a friend would do. Carla is not a friend.
It’s time for Renee’s party and the girls are getting ready. Drita is texting Karen and trying to be nice so there is peace at the party and Ramona is making things crazy when they don’t need to be. Renee’s palette of eye shadows is hilarious. There are about 100 colors and it’s exactly what I expect from her. There is going to be a blow up at this party.
Drita goes, is hanging solo until Renee arrives so she can say hello, have a drink, hug her and head out. Drita and Karen are staying away from each other and breath is being held. Renee arrives and she looks beautiful. It’s a sweet moment for her because she almost died. Her ex Junior is there and when they hug I want them to get married and live happily ever after.
Renee invites the ladies up to the mic with her and Drita is not doing it. She feels put on the spot so instead of getting up with the others she goes outside. She is followed out by who is my new favorite reality television star. Big Ang. I freaking love this woman. She looks like a mob wife to me and I loved everything about her. Dump Carla and give us more Big Ang.
Drita tells Big Ang that she will talk to Karen so Big Ang goes to get her. When Karen heads out Big Ang says thank you which struck me as funny. The show ends with a preview of next week and Dear Lord it’s going to get all gangster up in here. It’s like the Sopranos only with real people. This show is riveting in the same way Tony and Carmela were.
If there is a reality show that actually has any reality in it, this one may be it. These women are entertaining beyond compare and are the real housewives. I have read this blog five times to see if I can make it any softer or nicer but I can’t. This is my take and at the end of the day, if these women appreciate anything, it’s the ability to keep it real.
December 31, 2011 | 8:41 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
My, my, my, what a crazy year it has been on this blog!
I love reality television and I am amazed and thrilled that my job is to write about it.
My sincerest thanks to everyone who comes by to see my take on the shows we are all addicted to!
Reality television fans are an opinionated group, and I appreciate so much that you allow me to have mine, and share yours with me.
I look forward to another fabulous year of reality fun.
I wish you all a happy, healthy, and blogger war free 2012!
Happy New Year!
December 25, 2011 | 2:39 pm
Posted by Ilana Angel
I wrote a blog this week about LeAnn Rimes and the fact that I think her behavior on Twitter, in regards to her husband’s ex-wife, is disgusting. It was just my opinion, which is what my blog is. I’m not a gossip columnist, just a writer who shares my opinions and views on things I think are interesting, from Judaism, to pop culture, and everything in between.
There was a lot of action on Twitter recently about LeAnn, her husband Eddie Cibrian, and his ex-wife, Brandi Glanville. I don’t know any of them, and the blog was simply my take on a situation I have experience in. My ex-husband never cheated, but I do think he and his second wife were rude, mean, hurtful, and purposely disrespectful to me as a mother.
To be clear, I think LeAnn is a bit of a skank. By “bit of” of course I mean totally. She slept with a man, while he was married, and while she was also married. She left her husband to pursue a relationship with a man who had a family. I am not naïve enough to believe people don’t cheat, but to me she seemed a bit obsessed with getting Eddie.
Again, just my opinion, based on news, comments from LeAnn, Eddie, Brandi, and various news outlets. After my original blog posted, The Jewish Journal received a call from one Darrell Brown. He spoke with the Editor-in-Chief of The Journal and stated he was a friend of LeAnn’s, and was upset that I used the word “authenticated” in terms of stories about LeAnn’s behavior.
My Editor told me about the call, and I altered the blog to say “I hear this has all been authenticated”. It was not a big deal, and if it was what Mr. Brown needed to feel better, then I was happy to do it. It’s a blog, not brain surgery, and it was done immediately. Interesting to note that he took no issue with my calling LeAnn a skank, only the word "authenticated".
After Mr. Brown spoke with The Jewish Journal, he felt the need to write about me on his Tumblr page. It is fascinating to me that someone who is clearly a successful man, would bother to write about me, but since he did, let’s talk about it. I’m not sure if English is Mr. Brown’s first language, but by the look of his blog, I would guess no, but that’s not authenticated.
Mr. Brown’s little article was offensive and ridiculous. You can take a look for yourself although I hope he will take it down. If you do get a chance to read it, the spelling is hilarious. Mr. Brown had the balls to call his crapfest “Hate and Intolerance”and went so far as to liken my writing about LeAnn to the Holocaust. Really? Well Mr. Brown, here we go.
I spent many years of my career working in Holocaust education at Survivors of the Shoah Visual History Foundation, and your comments about the Holocaust are offensive to me not only a Jew, but as a human being. To compare my blog about LeAnn Rimes to the treatment of Jews, homosexuals, gypsies and blacks during World War II is shameful.
Following the posting of this blog, Mr. Brown removed the Holocaust reference from his Tumblr post. He did not apologize for his offensive comment, simply removed it.
Mr. Brown’s comments were idiotic. By his attempting to bash me, he showed his true colors. He was unprofessional, childish, vengeful, and completely unaware of what the Holocaust was. If I were in his industry I would run for the hills before working with a man of such unfortunate character. Ignorance often trumps talent, which is the case here.
To be clear, the focus of The Jewish Journal is not to “spread the message of acceptance and understanding”, and Mr. Brown stating that the Editor-in-Chief “confessed” to him that I had “gone too far” is a lie. My blogs are the most popular at jewishjournal.com and I am proud of my work, as is my Editor. You have pushed the wrong Jew Mr. Brown, and you don’t scare me.
Following the posting of this blog, Mr. Brown removed all mention of my Editor from his Tumblr post. He did not apologize for lying, simply removed the comment.
Now, if Mr. Brown would like to talk to me, I am happy to. I am also happy to speak with Ms. Rimes and allow her to tell her side of the story. I am also happy to go to court so anyone who is interested can see what is authenticated and what are allegations. I was simply sharing my opinion on a subject that has been widely reported on. To compare this blog to the Holocaust is offensive and and only proves one thing. Mr. Brown is a jackass.
I would like to invite Mr. Brown and Ms. Rimes to join me for a tour of The Shoah Foundation. Perhaps if they were properly educated about what the Holocaust was, and the genocides that continue around the world today, then maybe they could understand how horribly wrong the Tumblr article was.
At the end of the day, I stand by my opinions. I think LeAnn Rimes is disgusting. I think Darrell Brown is idiotic. I think Eddie Cibrian is doing a disservice to his children by allowing their mother to be treated this way. I think Brandi Glanville has the best interest of her children in mind. That is my truth, and this is America, so I’m just keeping it real.
*I feel strongly that Mr. Brown owes an apology to each and every person who was touched by the Holocaust. In fact, he owes an apology to to every human being who lives with a compassionate heart, and knows that genocides are continuing in the world today. Time for a reality check.
The Talmud says that he who saves one soul, it is as if he saved the entire world. Maybe this is the time for Mr. Brown to be saved, and therefore a blessing that all this happened around my blog. I am not sorry for anything that I have written. I was writing about a subject that many have written about, and Mr. Brown entered into it on his own, and made it personal.
I am not going to remove my blogs, and chances are I will probably write about this subject again. That said, thanks to Mr. Brown, this blog is no longer about LeAnn Rimes. It is now about tolerance, compassion, and doing the right thing.
Write an apology Mr. Brown. Do it because you know you were wrong. You can continue to pray that I get fired, and you can keep trying to make that happen, and you don’t need to apologize for that at all. Just as I shared my voice about you, you are able to share yours about me.
I am asking you to please issue an apology for your insensitive comments in regards to the Holocaust. I will accept your apology and life will go on. In the future, you can have a go at me anytime you want, but go after me. Not my faith, the history of my people, or the atrocities that have forever shaped the history of the world.
Mr. Brown, I am sorry if your feelings were hurt. This is now about doing the right thing. I would like an apology from you, and I will happily repost your letter of apology here, so my readers and community can see it. I’ve done my part, now it’s your turn to keep it real.
**I HAVE NEVER RECEIVED AN APOLOGY. MR. BROWN HOWEVER, DID ANNOUNCE ON TWITTER TODAY THAT HE IS SUING ME FOR SLANDER.